I sat outside on the lookout and received about twenty messages from people as I switched my phone back on and came into the signal area, most were from Danny and Steve; some from my shrink, who was going livid that I had disappeared again without a trace. I hit speed dial and smiled when Steve answered, I could hear the city traffic behind him and knew he was close by.

"Sadie where the hell have you been all day?" he demanded.

"Meet us at the barn in twenty minutes, I have some news you're going to want to know," I replied then shut the call down.

I headed back into the house and found the two of them chatting away, I re armed myself and nodded to Danno to help his brother up and into my car before I told him to follow me back to the barn; I would come up via the delivery entrance and needed the area cleared.

Twenty five minutes later we were going up the delivery lift and finally landed back at the barn with time to spare, the governor, Five-O and a few FBI agents were there as expected, along with a representative of the SIIC. I walked beside Matt after giving him a bit of verbal courage in the lift and faced everyone. Steve was standing there with a representative of JSOC and SATO; he was silently pissed – hell I would be too!

After the formal legalities were completed and the governor and SIIC cleared Matt Williams of any wrong doing, he was officially cleared and his record white-boarded; he sagged into a chair with relief and nodded in my direction in thanks. I headed across to the weapons locker and stiffened my back as I spotted Steve following me.

"You are unbelievable," he whispered as he helped me clip off my gear.

"We had to go get him, he was under a death order – I owed Danny that much for everything that he has done for me." I replied.

I was expecting as massive argument – he just let me put away my firearms and then after locking the locker up, he dragged me into his arms and kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried climbing up his waist; he pushed me down as he heard Danno and Matt talk about what had happened – he listened in as I clenched my jaw and sighed.

"I just remember being hit across the neck with something heavy then loud noises, bright flashes and lots of red laser pointers in the dark, I was tagged by a green dart then one of them pulls me under cover and lays down weapons fire. Next thing I know is I look up to face a barrel of a shotgun and then she is standing behind the man who has just had his throat cut from ear to ear with a huge knife!"

I had run through and tried to stop him from talking anymore before I had time to inform the team of what we had discovered and led us up to this moment and Matt's recovery. Danno just looked at me, I still had my vest on and he pulled me around to find my knife in its sheath along the length of my spine.

"Danno, what is done is done – the main thing is Matt is fine and can start his life back up." I said as I turned back round again.

"You sliced someone from ear to ear – how do you expect me to react to that news Sadie? I know you as a compassionate woman, a medic and soldier – not some butcher!" he hissed at me.

"Back off Daniel – you have no right to judge me and what I had to do in the situation." I hissed back at him.

Steve split us up and I headed over to grab some air from the window as Danno paced his side of the room and blew off some steam.

"I can't thank you enough for what you did for me, you and your team rescued me and brought me back to my family; for that I am always grateful. My main surprise was you were a woman, and then that General at Hickam ordering his men to remove the body for storage – why did you bring the body anyway?" Matt inquired.

Again – what was with the Williams brothers having no censer?

"Body, I thought you said there were no fatalities?" Kono asked.

"Not from my team," I replied as I headed out the room.

Steve watched me walk out the room and turned back to everyone else.

"Alright guys, let's get Matt checked out at hospital and then comfortable for his stay. Matt, good to see you again – call us if you need anything or if there is any problems." Steve said as he followed me out.

I had headed to the car again and was just pulling out when Steve stopped me from leaving; he leaned over and switched off the engine and took the keys from the ignition. My hands were still on the wheel and I was gripping it to keep from snapping at him.

"I…you…..what?" he starts as he leans in through the window.

I look at him and then back at the windscreen, popping the door open I get out and lean against the door once closed, trying everything to keep my personal space clear. I was ready to run, I had scored a notch on the kill book – I wanted to laugh, cry…..be sick.

And I grabbed my stomach and ran across to the garden and emptied my stomach into a bin, thankfully the place was quiet around the staff car park and I would be saved the gossip rumours that normally happened at work. I grabbed the canteen from the belt I had in the back seat and had a few sips of water as I sat back against the car door; Steve joined me and didn't say a thing.

"I got a call two weeks ago from a contact at JSOC; they had a financial trace on Matt and his dealings with some unsavoury characters in Singapore. This morning I got the call for a go ahead to retrieve him as he was discovered to be under duress and his family were thought to have been painted." I whispered before standing up and taking my keys back.

Steve stood up and looked at me; he nodded and took a step back before replying.

"We'll talk about this when we are home, but I want everything – including who you took out across there. You need to go home and relax, go for a hot shower and get rid of the excess adrenaline in your system before you crash. I know you know this already – but if this was the first 'personal' for you – it's going to hit you later on and you're going to need support."

I nodded and within seconds I was on my way home, I knew I had to get rid of the excess adrenaline as it would be impossible to wind down later on if I didn't, but he obviously knew what it was like to deal with a 'personal score' while on active duty. I hit the gas heading along the road and five minutes later pulled up outside the house and parked in the driveway. I grabbed the mail and walked into the house and to the downstairs office we set up for any work we were bringing home and for the storage of the on-going case of Wo Fat. I switched on the laptop and logged into the secure VOIP and the JSOC servers and clicked on the folders from my files. The camera files for today were already organised and I sent them to the secure pen drive I attached to the USB. Logging out of the server, I shut everything off and headed upstairs for a long hot shower.

A couple of hours later I heard the SUV pull up outside, I had just got changed as Steve was taking me out for dinner tonight and we were going for a chat about the day's events. He seemed perfectly cordial when he came in, no issues what so ever – then he snapped quicker than a sale at a chocolate factory!

"What in the name of all things holy where you thinking?" he yelled at me.

"I was doing my job!" I yelled back.

"You swore to me that you would never get involved with that kind of operation again without serious consideration from me. That's all I ask from you – why do you need to keep on proving the point to me that you can do as well as me?" he demanded.

I looked at him and laughed, he had just suggested that I was trying to prove I could still be an active operator – I loved this job, loved being part of the reserve forces – I sure as hell didn't want to deal with this crap if I could help it!

"We agreed that if any information was found we would be contacted and one of us would join the operation. You had duties to perform today, several depositions to give – so I went instead." I replied.

"You should have let me know, the depositions could have waited a few hours for this – you put yourself into harm's way again Sadie – how the hell am I meant to trust you if you keep going behind my back!" he demanded.

"I know you still think I am made from eggshells, and in some ways I probably am – but don't you ever dare think less of my abilities and training. Just because I am female and have been through a shit load of issues, it doesn't mean that I am less capable than you. I went through the same training and passed; I went through the same field exams and passed. The only roles that are different between us is that you worked the other side and I patched them up!" I hissed back at him.

I threw my purse onto the couch and headed upstairs to get changed out of this stupid dress I was wearing for dinner. I tugged on my combats and top and laced up my boots before slamming clothes in my bag and grabbing my firearm, badge and ID. I headed back downstairs and was stopped by Steve before I could grab my car keys.

"Where you going huh; where are you running to this time?"

I didn't answer him and dodged his grip as he tried to trap me in the corner of the room; I bounced over the chair and headed towards the back door and the beach. He followed me out and dragged me back inside and slammed the doors shut.

"Where are you running to Sadie? I know you're not telling me something and you know I only want to help – is it the body you brought back? Was it a member of the team you left with? Was it a victim?" he demanded as he gripped my shoulders and shook me.

I smacked my palms off his lower ribs and he released me to suck in a deep breath, he would be fine – it's a good trick to get out of a hold as they can't breathe. I stepped backwards to the door and grabbed my keys from the floor.

"If you must know the body we brought back was Ross Mitchell," I replied.

Steve had recovered from the shock tactic and looked at me with wide eyes, he immediately placed the name as a member of Bravofourniner and was stunned to realise what the take down now involved.

"Mitchell, he's your kill?" he whispered.

"Yeah, he is my first name off my list. What I did to him seven hours ago was a blessing and painless. What he did to me three years ago, that is unforgivable and by some small miracle I managed to feel something for him and ended it quickly." I said back through clenched teeth.

"You shouldn't have killed him – don't you remember on the beach that day – told you never to shoot someone you hate – it can destroy you once you come to terms with what you have done!" he replied looking hurt.

I looked back up at him and smirked as I opened the door.

"I didn't shoot him Steve – I cut his throat and bled him dry."

I walked down the path and started towards the car, my hands were shaking and I was losing concentration really quickly.

I jumped into the car and drove off at speed towards the only place I knew I could go to get the episode out of the way. I slammed the speed on and hit the Pali highway, I was heading towards the old bungalow – it was remote enough for me to get everything out, but close enough to civilisation if I needed help. Ten minutes at the maximum speed possible up the old dirt road, I stopped outside the bungalow and ran inside; the door slammed closed and I burst out in tears and frustration as I slid down the back of the door and had a complete emotional breakdown.