A/N: Well, this is about it folks. It's been a CRAZY ride but I've had a blast. There will be one more chapter after this one, a prologue, that will offer some last answers to the question of what all Cas remembers, if anything, from his time as an infant.
Both Winchesters lay still for a long moment enjoying the silence of their room after Gabriel left with only the sound of their breathing filling the darkness around them. While the angel had healed many of their more grievous injuries, they were still littered from head to toe with bruises and cuts and neither was in any hurry to get up. Dean's skin itched beneath a thin layer of dried sweat and mud was caked around his knees where it had seeped in through a few tears in his jeans. Castiel shifted slightly in his embrace to tuck his nose farther into the seam between Dean's arm and chest. The familiar sensation of comforting warmth radiated out from where the infant was pressed tightly against him and the hunter absently reached up to thread his fingers through the child's soft tangle of hair. "You want the shower first?" he finally mumbled, breaking the silence. His cheek was still firmly pressed against the carpet, muffling his words. He had no real intention of moving any time soon though if he could help it. In fact, sleeping right there on the floor was starting to sound more and more like a fantastic idea.
Behind him Sam grunted his acceptance of the offer. He didn't much want to move from his position where he was leaning against a wide dresser but he felt immeasurably grungy after his time in Legion's clutches and he knew sleep would elude him until he could at least get some of the filth off him. He groaned loudly as he sat up, his back protesting from where a drawer knob had been pressing into his spine, and after a few minutes of struggle he made it to his feet. Everything hurt. Sam shuffled toward the bathroom, grateful at least that Dean was too tired to make any jokes about him moving around like an old woman.
Dean lay quietly on his side for a few minutes after the bathroom door shut. He stared into the dark space beneath the bed he was facing without really seeing anything, his eyes focusing on a small bundle of forgotten lint that was laying against the back wall while his brain finally spun through the events of the past week. It was slowly sinking in that this was it. This would be the last night Cas was going to need him for anything. Once Gabriel got back and changed his brother back to normal, the both of them would probably flutter off to Heaven again leaving Dean in their wake with little more than a backward glance. The thought made his stomach clench but Dean pushed it aside. He had done his job, had done his best by his friend, and he knew the time had come to let the angel go. He couldn't relegate Castiel to reliving his childhood all over again just to satisfy his desire to be needed by someone.
The infant in his arms shifted again and nuzzled up farther against Dean's arm, his little face all but buried in the smelly t-shirt the hunter was wearing. "Yeah, I'm gonna miss you too," Dean whispered, his voice surprisingly broken even to his own ears, "You better get your feathery ass down to see us more often and not just because something's wrong either. I mean actual visits. None of this doom and death shit every time." Castiel let out a tiny grunt as he happily curled his fingers into Dean's sleeve and the hunter let a sad smile curve up one corner of his mouth. It had been a long week but he couldn't say it had been all bad. He half hoped that Cas wouldn't remember any of it once he was back to normal though. Now that Dean had spent the last few days holding the angel while he slept he knew he was going to have a hard time looking at his friend the same way again. The last thing he needed was for the other man to remember being snuggled and bathed as an infant. It would make hanging out decidedly more awkward than Castiel's usual lack of social grace already allowed for.
Dean finally rolled onto his back with a pained hiss before trying to sit up. He looked down at where Castiel was still curled against him and realized that another bath was decidedly in order. The slime Legion had marked the infant with glittered a mucus green across Cas's skin and while Dean wasn't sure what exactly the stuff was, he knew it couldn't be anything pleasant. He peeled the little angel away from his chest and held him up to give him a quick look over just to make sure that the slime was the worst of the infant's problems. Castiel squeaked out a small yawn and stretched in the hunter's hands, his wings flapping a few times before relaxing again. Tiny fists rubbed at his eyes and he let out a soft grunt as he went back to hanging in limp contentment while Dean smiled affectionately at him. The angel had not shown any signs of wanting to sleep since he'd been in their care and Dean doubted that had changed but apparently being mixed with Jimmy's human form for almost a week meant the angel had learned to appreciate the value of a good stretch. Cas blinked at him serenely and he genuinely envied his friend's ability to bounce back so quickly after such a harrowing day. The infant looked as collected as ever now that he was no longer around Legion or caught between two warring archangels and Dean wished he could shrug life and death situations off that easy.
He drew Castiel back in and perched the infant in his favorite spot before finally and reluctantly getting to his feet. A warm nose pressed up under his jaw and Dean swallowed down the sudden tightening he felt in his throat. He really was going to miss this. Sam emerged from the shower a short while later to find them both sitting on the end of one of the two small beds in the room, Castiel still snuggled beneath Dean's chin while the hunter stroked long slow lines across the angel's back. A sad smile passed between the brothers. Sam didn't need to say it out loud for Dean to know he wasn't the only one who was going to miss having Cas around. The pair worked together to clean off the little angel while Cas played contentedly with the bubbles, Dean's hand, and the washcloth and then Sam took his turn saying his silent goodbyes to the infant while Dean was taking a shower. He flopped back onto his chosen bed and settled Cas onto his stomach where the angel propped himself up and offered a brief flick of his wings in greeting. Sam smiled and ruffled the infant's hair, a gesture which Cas gladly pressed up into, and the pair shared a few long quiet moments just relaxing in each other's company.
Sam was already starting to drift off when Dean came back in the room. He smiled at his brother and gestured for him to take the angel. "You're going to have to put up with feathers up your nose one last night, Dean," he said, his voice heavy with sleep. Ever since Legion had died at the hands of his brother, Sam had felt a weight lifted off his mind. The anger, pain, and fear he'd felt brewing inside for the past week had faded away and died and while Castiel's presence was still soothing, it was no longer the lifeline it had been before. Sam knew his brother was going to feel the sting of Castiel's absence much more sharply though and so he was more than happy to let Dean claim him on the last night they would have together.
Dean shot his brother a questioning look but didn't argue the offer. If Sam was feeling good enough again to sleep without Castiel's help then Dean wasn't about to turn down the last chance he was going to get to spend the night holding the child. Cas reached up for him the moment he stepped close to his brother's bed and Dean gratefully swept him up before curling beneath his own covers. "You're lucky I like you," he muttered more for effect than anything. He had a reputation to keep after all and it didn't include cuddling baby angels. Of course, no one was going to know if, in the darkness of their little room, he curled just a little tighter around the infant than he had before and no one would see it if he smiled lopsidedly when Cas wrapped his small hand around one of Dean's fingers. And if no one saw it, he could always claim it didn't happen.
The next morning Dean woke with Cas nestled into the crook of his shoulder, the infant's face pressed against his cheek, and he lay in bed for a little longer than he really should have just enjoying the feeling. Sam was still sound asleep in the other bed and Dean had no intention of waking him. After all his brother had been through he deserved a well earned day off. Eventually the growling of Dean's stomach urged him from the warmth of his bed though and he scooped Castiel up as he slid from beneath the covers. He stepped out into the warm sunshine of a late morning and blinked in the bright light as he tried to gain his bearings. The town seemed strangely familiar and Dean wandered down to the end of the block as he looked for any signs that would reveal where he was. He tucked his coat protectively around Castiel's wings to shield them from prying eyes but he only spotted a handful of people as they moved along through their morning entirely uninterested in him. As he peered down into the next block his eyes fell on a sleek black vehicle sitting in the parking lot of a shabby motel up the street. He blinked a few times and shook his head. "No way," he muttered even as he started in that direction. Sure enough as he got closer he could make out the distinctive license plate that marked the car as his one and only baby. He frowned up at the motel and then looked back at the one he'd just come from.
There had been only two motels in all of Clearview Acres, Idaho. Gabriel had apparently deposited them in the other one. Dean snorted in amusement and risked venturing back to the room they had originally been staying in. The smell of beer wafted up from the concrete just outside the door and the ground was still littered with the remnants of shattered bottles. Dean was pleasantly surprised when his key still worked on the door and he figured check out time hadn't rolled around yet for them. It seemed odd that so little time had really passed since they'd been taken violently from the premises but he knew it had been less than 24 hours. As soon as the door opened there was a blast of cloying earthy scent that wafted out and Dean tensed at the ready but the smell dissipated quickly in the gentle breeze of the morning and the room remained quiet. A small stain of darkness on the carpet marked the spot where Dean had fallen and he tried not to think about just how many hotel rooms across the country had been marred with his blood in the past.
After a little searching about he finally located both the Colt and Sam's knife. Thankfully neither had been disturbed after they left and by the time Sam finally woke, Dean had returned with both weapons, the Impala, and a small bag of fast food breakfast. He had snagged a few packets of honey for Castiel and the trio spent a quiet morning just watching an old football game on the television while eating. Castiel sat curled up in Dean's lap for most of the day playing with the ladybug that Sam had found on their windowsill. The infant was instantly fascinated by the little bug and was happily watching it crawl across the back of his hand when Gabriel finally reappeared looking far better than when they'd last seen him. "Hello again," he chirped brightly, "Hope you three had a good night. Nice to see you didn't keel over while I was gone."
Dean frowned at him. "Yeah, about that. You wanna work your angel mojo now? Cause I'm glad you're feeling better but I've got so many freakin' bruises I look like a grape and Sam over here is so beat to hell it takes him fifteen minutes just to walk to the bathroom."
"Bite me, Dean," Sam piped up indignantly.
Gabe rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, his expression saying clearly that he didn't understand why Dean was bitching when at least he wasn't coughing up blood anymore, and in the next instant both Winchesters were back to the picture of health. For all his protesting a moment before, Sam did let out a sigh of relief as the pain wracking his body faded away to nothing. Angels might be a pain in the ass but being friends with one had its perks.
Dean looked down at where Castiel was still sitting in his lap and he found himself wanting desperately to stall for some reason. "So I gotta ask," he said, his mind reaching for any topic that might give him even a few more minutes of feeling needed, "what was up with the crowbar routine you pulled on Raph? I mean, you got this badass sword thing going on. Why grab a freakin' metal bar?"
Gabriel shrugged. "Remember that star I was tied to? Well Legion didn't pick that out of a hat. It was made out of a very special metal found only in Hell. You should recognize it; it was the same stuff 'the rack' is made out of." Dean shuddered almost visibly and tried not to think about how close to the star he'd actually been while cutting Gabriel down. "Strong emotions can mark things so obviously the metal they use for the torture chambers has been pretty well saturated with bad vibes. Contact with it can weaken an angel to some extent and I knew that my big bro wouldn't be expecting it. It wouldn't kill him but it sure as hell makes for a more productive 'wall to wall counseling session'." The angel smiled bitterly and Dean decided not to bother pressing for details on what happened to Raphael once they got him back to Heaven. Some things he was better off not knowing. "You'll be happy to know our friendly neighborhood pain in the ass Hezrial is going to make it as well. He was pretty messed up but fortunately Raph didn't kill him outright. Gonna be a while before he flies straight again though." Gabe wasn't one to show it easily if something got to him but as he watched a flicker of regret pass over the angel's face he got the impression Hezrial was a little worse off than were being allowed to believe. The archangel didn't give him the chance to press the issue further however. "And NOW," Gabriel stepped forward and smiled fondly at his little brother, "time to give Castiel the speed course through the joys of puberty."
Dean made a sour face. "Dude, that's messed up."
"Yeah," Gabriel said mischievously, "but it's going to be hilarious watching his voice crack in high speed."
It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes. "I swear to God, Gabe, if you don't just get this over with…"
"All right, all right," Gabe said peevishly, "spoilsport." He rubbed his hands together and poked his tongue between his teeth as he concentrated for a moment.
A thought suddenly occurred to Dean as he looked down one last time at young Castiel but he didn't have time to get out more than a single "Wait!" before Gabe snapped his fingers again and the hunter found himself pressed back against the headboard with a fully grown and obviously confused Castiel sitting in his lap. Mercifully the change had also restored the angel back into his signature trenchcoat and suit, something Dean was immeasurably grateful for, and he wheezed from behind Castiel's left shoulder. "Cas…get off me."
The angel glanced around quickly before finally realizing where he was and that there was a less than thrilled Winchester smooshed behind him. He snapped up off the bed quickly and straightened his coat as he took in the far too amused smirk of his brother. "Gabriel," he growled irritably, "I find your sense of humor disturbing."