"You couldn't have said it better My Lord!" Udores laughed rummaging in the ashes. The men agreed unanimously, having a good time over Menelaus' frustration and anger.
"Aphareus looked like he was chased by the Specters! Like the very Spirits of the Underworld were after him!" Alevian giggled gurgling on his water.
"His wife probably scared him more than the news!"
"I would be scared too if I woke up next to her! Every morning!"
"Someone should find the man a woman that doesn't look like the daughter of Medusa!"
"The truth is that she does petrify the living breathe out of you!" Arctinus laughed falling back on the grass.
"I don't know what it is about her that kills you faster, her barking or her cooking!" Alevian looked serious for a moment.
"I think Medusa must've visited Cerberus when Hades was out and produced her!"
"Oh, that's just sickening Arctinus!" Achilles laughed shaking his blond hair.
The Myrmidons cheered. Aphareus was the lucky owner of the noisiest, most annoying wife they've met in their journeys. And he knew it. And probably so did the entire kingdom. That made him the butt of jokes of the army!
Achilles watched them smiling. It was one of those mornings where he woke up light hearted and at ease. He took a deep breath watching the men get ready.
"I want you all to go see your families when we get home. Have some time to yourselves! You've been with me for too long!"
Udores turned around worried.
"My Lord, we can wait! Menelaus is not to be trusted!"
"Relax old friend! He has never been that brave!"
"Maybe, but he has always been a proud fool!" Achilles smiled.
"I am sick of you around me all day long! Leave me alone for a few days." The Myrmidons turned around to watch him. He winked and waved them away mockingly. The young ones, who had not yet spent enough time with him to get to know him, had actually taken his words to heart. Udores laughed looking at their mistrusting faces.
"Come on lads! Put some effort into it! We're moving out!" Achilles got up and entered the inn. He went up the stairs and with each step he took he felt more drawn and anxious to see her. He had left her side at sun rise; he couldn't sleep. Too many questions piled up in his head; yet when he had looked at her, so defenseless in her sleep, his mind had gone blank and he only wanted to kiss her. He should kiss her more.
She heard the door to the bedroom open slowly. Aalexia sighed but she felt it impossible to open her eyes. It felt like the eyelids got stuck; or maybe she just didn't have the force to open them. She started to wake up but she was confused; her thoughts were mixed and her memories of the past two days, blurry. She moved and her entire body hurt. She managed to pull on the covers and free the upper part of her body; she shivered with the cold. But she could only do one thing at the time; she had such little strength left in her, even after a few hours of sleep. She gripped on the covers and pushed herself up, crippled and moaning. Her ribs hurt the most. Or maybe it was her back. Her hair had dried up in a messy cavalcade of dark chestnut hay stack. She tried to flinch her had and make it fall back but it was useless.
Achilles watched her silently; his fingers clenched harder on the dress in his hand. Aalexia managed to see him with her right eye, still battling the hair stack on her left eye. He came in slowly and left the dress on the bed.
"I asked them to wash and sew it. I can't find another dress for you here. I'll get you one from the market in Lyrnessus." She blinked a few times. Achilles leaned forward and removed gently the hair from her face. He rested his hand on her shoulder following the flow of the chestnut river down to her collar bone and lower around her breast. Aalexia didn't move a muscle. His fingers deepened in her flesh as he cupped her rib cage from the side pushing her down on the bed covers. She breathed in short controlling the pain, but didn't reject his touch and lay back down.
He came in bed next to her, looking down on her naked body, playing with the strands of hair. He spread them around on the pillow, like sun rays with her face shinning serene in the middle. Aalexia waited patiently not knowing what to expect. He stopped and looked her in the eye for a moment; then caressed her cheek before placing his lips on hers briefly. Then the brief moment turned into an endless moment; she squeezed on his arms letting him know she was out of breath. Achilles ignored her and kept her mouth prisoner for a few more seconds. He'd never been this gentle. His lips parted wanting to say something but changed his mind quickly.
He got off the bed and looked for her sandals. And when he found them, he returned to the bed and threw away the covers exposing her to the sun light. His heart picked up the pace; how could he turn into such a pansy, incoherent and drawling idiot just by glimpsing at her naked body? Not even as a boy did he behave this irrational around women! But her body, so slender, so soft stirred insanity in his mind. His jaws clang together shut. He went down and helped her up, then took the dress and fitted it down her shoulders. It took him a little while to close the pins and adjust the strap at the back. He was used to taking things off not putting them on. He smiled nodding the strap; he felt ridiculous and it was even more ridiculous that he enjoyed it. Pansy! He kneeled and put her sandals on; tinny little feet! He looked up at her and understood why Hector took her for a wife. She embodied love, kindness and … and resilience! Her eyes; her eyes were a kaleidoscope of feelings, so expressive that he expected them to change color every time a new emotion rippled through the chestnut rays, enlarging the black iris.
He got up pulling her along.
"They set the table. Have something to eat and then we can go."
"I am not that hungry!" Achilles grimaced. He took her by the hand and led her outside the room and into the small hall of the inn, forcing her to sit at the table. He pushed the tray in front of her then sat across the table.
"Eat!" She watched him silently then picked a piece of chicken and chewed on it slowly. Udores rushed in.
"The men are ready My Lord!" Achilles didn't turn around to look at him. He just waved him away silently. Udores bowed and disappeared outside the door. Aalexia watched him, going for the second piece of chicken. She had forgotten the taste of food. Achilles watched her calmly. She swallowed looking in his eyes. Then sipped on a little wine and closed her eyes. The sweet liquor rushed through her body and into her head like fire and she felt dizzy. Achilles smiled.
"Eat first! I don't want you falling off the horse again!" Aalexia smiled stubbornly.
"What now?" She mumbled between the chunks.
"Now we go home!" She was referring to something else, but he didn't know the answer. And maybe she wasn't ready for an answer either. Aalexia lowered her eyes and went on eating.
"Have you ever thought of leading your life differently? To not be a warrior?"
"There is no such thing! It's what I am."
"It's what you choose to be. No one asks you to go to war!"
"I just want what everyone wants! I just want it more!"
"Immortality?" Achilles looked away. "Your children would bare your name with just as much pride and it will last for ever!"
"Not for ever; only until the last one of my children's children dies and the wind will have blown the dust of their bones to the four winds!"
"That should be long enough. No man is meant to last for ever. It's the beauty of being mortal." Achilles grabbed on her cup of wine sipping from it, giving himself an excuse not to look at her. "You go to war and your name lasts for millenniums; yet the few years of your existence mean nothing. Will immortality save your soul when're gone? Will it forgive you?" Achilles stared in her eyes, guilty.
"Everything comes at a price." He let go of the cup and crossed his fingers together in front of her plate. Aalexia stretched forward and placed her hand on his and forced him to open his left palm. She slowly caressed it leaving grease traces across it. She seemed lost watching the way her fingers walked up and down his.
"I think you'd be a good father." Achilles retracted his hand suddenly. The idea of having children had never occurred to him.
"Did the lines of fortune in my palm tell you that?" he smiled.
"No. You have strong hands. The strong hands of a father. My father had strong hands; he used to take me to the fare when I was little! He'd hold me up in his arms and spin me around! His palm covered half of my back holding me like in a nut shell!" and Aalexia smiled but her eyes became melancholic with memories.
"Your father dedicated his life to his country and to his family. I have dedicated mine to greatness!"
"My father was great!" And for a moment they locked eyes and Achilles felt caught between sadness and anger. She was provoking him again.
"The kind of greatness I am looking for asks everything of me! I cannot afford to be slowed down."
"You mean loved."
"Love is an illusion that fades away in time. Love is what the Gods place on us to keep us blinded from their games of power. To make us feel contempt with what we have; with the little they give us. To keep us busy with dramas, quests for answers and useless sorrow. Love is nothing else but submission, a tool for them to keep us under their control; to never want more than what they give."
"Love is something we create. Like what you have for your men. You care for them do you not?"
"It's called loyalty and trust. It's an honorable feeling." Aalexia smiled. How can she explain love to man who was so reluctant into admitting it even existed.
"Has none of your women taught you what love feels like?" And she stopped eating looking straight at him. His eyes speared through her very soul. He smiled a bitter-angry smile. He was still deciding whether to enjoy where this conversation was going or not.
"That is called lust. You should try it sometimes. It's… relieving." And the way he looked at her made her shiver.
"Is that why you don't make love? Because making love is not relieving?"
"What would you know about that?"
"I've made love and it is not about possession, vengeance or punishment. It's about caring, offering and sharing. It's about taking responsibility and commitment."
"Then they must've pretended and lied better than I can; the men you've been with." Aalexia shifted position in the chair, challenged. It was her turn to become angry and it woke her up completely. She put the food down and crossed her fingers just like him, staring in his blue eyes. Achilles leaned forward excited; she knew how to get his attention and always made up for a worthy opponent, with or without a sword in her hand. She spoke and she made sure she underlined each and every single word.
"I've never met anyone more straight forward and honest than Hector in my entire life! And he was the only man I knew before you."
He didn't expect that confession and his guard crumbled when looking in her eyes. That was impossible! The muscle in his jaw flickered burning to know more. But he managed to control his voice enough to keep himself under control as well. Somehow, talking about the other man in her life bothered him.
"Did Hector wed you out of love?" and the irony bit through his words. Aalexia's chin went up defying him, building up the wall to keep that irony out of her heart.
"Yes he did." His tongue swished on top of his lower lip as he lay back in the chair, still keeping eye contact.
"You want to tell me that the Prince of Troy, who had everything and could have anyone, chose to marry out of love?" and he laughed. "What did he get for you? Men? Gold?" his hands went up in the air as his mind seemed to search for something else. "Land?" Aalexia's lips narrowed painfully.
"He got nothing but a load of problems." And her eyes shined remembering how Hector cared for her home and for her people.
"Then he must've been a fool! I thought royalty married only royalty or close keen! Your father was a general; he probably used you to add more men power to his armies!" Achilles sipped from the wine happy with his own answer.
"My father was dead long before I met him." He stopped half way through drinking and found it hard to swallow. "And Hector was not the kind of man to seek profit out of any situation he ran into!"
"Have you any siblings?" He watched her from above the cup trying to temper her down.
"No."
"Then who cared for you?"
"I did." Achilles put the cup down.
"No woman makes it alone in a world of men."
Aalexia stood up abruptly and her eyes sparked with tears.
"I was no one's whore, if that's what you are saying!" Achilles bounced. He didn't mean for his words to sound that way. "I lied to everyone for four long years that my father was sick, but alive and with the help of the people in the household we managed to survive. I didn't have time for men and their games when I had thirty people to look after and a mansion to keep from falling apart!" The confession drained her and she fell back in the chair exhausted. Achilles watched her in silence reflecting on what she told him. She sobbed and grabbed a piece of clothing to blow her nose in it. She wiped the tears away and then looked at him again. He enjoyed her fearless attitude with him. If she had only known how many had died just for looking him in the eye! But she was allowed to stare, to look, to yell, to cry, to kick him, to fight him; just because it was her. He reached for a chunk of meat and started eating sustaining her look.
"Hector loved me for who I am and never asked anything in return. And I only brought him trouble." That makes two of us and Achilles struggled to keep his smile hidden from her.
"For how long have you been married before the war started?"
"A little over three months." Achilles stopped eating staring at her. She was so devastated by Hector's death that he believed they'd been together for years. "I had very little time with him." Soon she will have spent more time with him than she had with Hector. Somehow, that made him feel like the man in her life. He tried to keep that through in leash, as well as the joy he felt because of it.
"Yet you still mourn his death."
"I loved him."
"Love is for the weak!" Aalexia confronted him.
"I thought he was the best you ever fought!" and her voice touched a higher note when saying it.
"Yet now he is dead!" Achilles lowered his eyes focusing on his food. "You become weak when you think of what you're leaving behind! You become weak when you don't focus on your enemy! And he wasn't focusing on his enemy! He was thinking of you!" Aalexia broke into crying.
"I don't need love. I have everything I need. A home to my liking, a hand full of good men to do my biding with and the women I want to serve me at night!"
"So women are just meant to please and serve you!"
"I serve their needs and cravings as much as they serve mine. And I make sure I leave no half-breeds behind me!" Aalexia watched him hurt and spiteful.
"A half-breed like you?" Achilles Achilles got up abruptly sending the chair to the ground, springing around the table to pin her against the wall, with his hand clenched deep in her throat.
"A half-breed like me!" Aalexia's mouth opened gasping for air. His lips narrowed and she heard him swear, right before letting her go. She almost fell to the ground but he didn't come to help her. The door shut closed behind him. Aalexia made it to the chair, still catching her breath. She cupped her face in her hands and squeezed hard on her cheeks. Ahhhh… An eye for an eye. But she felt sad with the way the morning went. She laid her forehead on the table trying to calm herself down.
Achilles rushed outside the inn and Udores looked at him puzzled.
"Get a horse ready for her! She's riding alone today!" And he went to grab his horse pulling the animal out of the yard. Udores took a deep breath. He was used to the sudden changes of mood of his master. He made one of the soldiers bring another horse and started putting the saddle on. Aalexia came outside slowly, fearing the light. She covered her eyes as she stepped gently in the yard. Udores came close bringing her horse, trying to keep it steady.
"My Lady! Your horse!" Aalexia looked at him thankfully. He helped her up in the saddle and once seated she looked around for him.
"He's gone already. We need to catch up."
They rode slowly and Aalexia kept her eyes on his back as he stood tall in the saddle of his black stallion. She was not mad at him; as usual he created a storm of feelings in her head and she couldn't decide which one to pick and act upon. She reined the horse near Udores and travelled beside him for a while.
"How do you do it?" and she had to say it a bit louder to cover the noise of the hooves hitting the pebbles on the road. Udores watched her silently. "How could you stand him for so long?" And she looked so genuine that it made Achilles' most faithful man smile.
"Like I told you My Lady! Deep inside, he is a good man. It just takes a while to see it." Aalexia shook her head and pulled on the reigns to slow the horse down.
"I can't understand. What he wants from me."
"Things will be clearer in time. He needs to put an end to the war inside, and then he will see things better." Udores refrained from telling her that probably Achilles didn't know either what he wanted of her.
"His war with the Gods."
"He'd seen them you know! He knows them better than any priest or king. And he's left with a bitter taste after their encounter."
"He is the son of Zeus. He owes his father the strength he so boasts about! There are other men who battle just as fierce with only one tenth of his power, yet he does not seem to notice nor appreciate his gift!"
"Zeus may have given him the power but he also left him with the shame!" The shame of being rejected; Aalexia looked at Udores in wonder. So Achilles wasn't Zeus' only bastard child in the world, but he was the child who decided to face his lecherous father and use his own gift against him and gain what he was denied.
"Does he not have anyone to care, to tell him when to stop? To show him that there are more precious things than this?" and she gestured to all of him, riding up front like the true warrior he was.
"His mother gave up on that long ago. And no one else has the patience or the mind strength to bear with him for too long."
"Maybe he doesn't want to change." Aalexia kept looking at Achilles' back admiring his posture.
"Change comes without asking. It happens with everyone; it will happen to him too. Change is what makes us want to wake up tomorrow and see what tomorrow brings."
"Udores!" Achilles voice resounded through the hot air. Udores took a quick look at her.
"Just be patient with him My Lady! He has never let any of us down! We shouldn't let him down either!" and he kicked in the horse to catch up with his master.
Aalexia watched him as he went away. Her eyes set on her hands holding tight the reigns. She had never really thought of what it feels like to be him. To have so much power and to be obliged to choose what to do with it. Use it for good. Use it for bad. He wasn't making the wars; he was using them to get the only thing that mattered to him. The immortality his father had forbid him the day he denied his existence. Wars were fought with or without him. It made sense; his loneliness; the stubbornness in seeing things differently. He was caught in between worlds. Neither God nor human, but belonging to both. Do you use the power and fight? Or do you let your destiny be driven by the Gods, the same Gods who rejected you? We all have different goals in life; we all have our nightmares to deal with. Who was she to blame him and judge his choices and expectations? Some are born for greatness. Some are born for a quiet little life.
Aalexia looked again and she saw he had stopped in the middle of the road waiting for her. She reached him shortly and they looked at each other for a short while. He handed her a bottle of water and she took it gently, keeping her fingers curled with his for a moment. Achilles' face relaxed then went back to his inexpressive cold look. He may be able to make his own destiny. But for now, Achilles was her destiny and her life lay in his hands.