Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine...however, Freya and Owen and all their other original friends are. :)
Short chapter alert! :)
This chapter is very short. I'm sorry about that...but I kind of had to end it here. I hope you'll see why when you've finished it:) Thanks again for all the reviews on my previous chapter! The whole vampire/werewolf hybrid situation I ended up creating in Freya will be interesting- I wasn't really expecting it until it happened. But I think that it could be really cool, if I work it out right...
Thanks again you guys! You're amazing:)
Chapter Twenty-Five
After my little mental breakdown, I decided that it was best to take all my memories of my mother and lock them away, somewhere in the back of my mind where I didn't have to deal with them. I believe in health class they call this repression, or something. Whatever it was called, it made my life a whole lot easier. Not thinking about my mom gave me time to think about other things.
Such as my newfound vampire powers.
Once I got over the fact that I had become even more of a freak than I already was- I mean, I was already a character out of some horror story. What did it matter that I could turn myself invisible and see some kind of weird, bright light surrounding literally everybody I looked at? Anyway, once I got over my own freakishness…I began experimenting.
The secret to my invisibility was easy- all I had to do was think about blending in with my surroundings, and I did. Like the way a chameleon changes colors, except when I wanted to blend in with the sheets on the bed I'd been occupying for the past week and a half, I turned invisible, not blue.
The light I was seeing…that was a bit more confusing. At first, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to how bright or dark the light was. I'd look out the window, and see people walking by…their lights varied from bright shades of white and cream, to dark grey. I couldn't figure out what the brightness meant…until Edward made an observation.
He had come with Bella to visit me. She'd felt awful about the Victoria incident- apparently it was "all her fault" that our friend was a sadistic monster who went a little too far to get revenge. We were talking about the boring aspects of our daily lives- apparently Officer Swan had tried to cook the night before, which had turned out to be absolutely disastrous- and as she was describing the look on the firemen's faces as she explained the situation, I was thinking about how bright the light around Bella was.
"Freya…what were you just thinking?" Edward asked with a frown.
"I was thinking about how dinosaurs became extinct," I lied, trying to keep a nice clean poker face. (Pa-pa-pa-poker face pa-pa-poker face…Alice loves this song. I've had it stuck in my head all day…which really sucks, because Little GaGa or whatever she's called kind of scares the crap out of me.)
"Very funny," Edward chuckled. "But seriously. What were you just thinking about?"
Coming off my Lady GaGa tirade, I tried to think back to what I had been thinking about a moment ago.
"Bella's light," I said at last, looking at her again. "It's really bright- almost as bright as Carlisle's."
"Are you sure?" Edward asked with a frown.
"Of course I'm sure!" I barked. (Ha ha ha….do you get it? I'm a werewolf- I barked. I'm just full of bad humor today!) "I think I know what I'm thinking a little better than you do, Edward."
"No…no, it's just that what I heard…" he shook his head, as if in disbelief. "You were thinking about Bella's…light. But it's almost as if you subconscious was thinking about how trustworthy she is. How likely it is that she would do something to harm you…"
"So…do you think that's what it is?" I asked. "The brightness shows the trustworthiness of a person?"
"Does that feel right to you?" he asked.
I thought about it for a moment. To my surprise, it did- it felt totally natural to be looking at Edward, be looking at his light, and judge how dangerous he was to me. So…I guess that's what it meant. So it's like I have my own radar system now…which could be pretty cool. I'll just have to find out.
After I figured out my superpowers, life became a lot more interesting- especially when Paul came to visit.
We all know that Paul has a bit of a temper. He's tried to kill someone in the pack on multiple occasions- usually it's me or Jake. It's not hard to get him worked up, and I knew that he could be pretty dangerous when he's really ticked off.
So naturally, whenever Paul entered my room, I decided to tick him off, just a little. I didn't want to make him angry enough to lose control and phase- I planned on angering him just enough to find out if Edward's theory was correct or not.
It was simple. All I had to do was use his nickname from when we were kids. "Hey, Paulie," I greeted him when he entered my room. It was the day after Edward had made his discovery, and I was itching to test his theory. "I've missed you. Where have you been?"
"Don't call me that," he snapped. "Seriously. It annoys the shit out of me."
I grinned in delight as I saw his light get just a shade darker- which pretty much confirmed my suspicions about the whole light business.
"I'm sorry, Paul," I apologized with a grin.
"Whatever," he mumbled. "Are you feeling better, kid?" he asked, bringing a plate full of delicious foods over to me.
"I'm fine," I chuckled. "The only reason I haven't ditched and gone home already is I think Emily's still kind of mad at me for sneaking out like I did. Could you tell her to stop sending me food, though?" I laughed. "I mean, I don't need to eat every hour."
"Yeah, sure," he shrugged. "Are you sure you're alright? You were pretty messed up when Sam brought you home."
"I know," I nodded with a shudder. "Victoria did a real good job on me, huh?"
"Well…you aren't dead," he pointed out. "Which means that she kind of screwed up."
"I guess," I shrugged.
We sat there in silence for a while- this whole conversation was just beginning to get a little awkward. Paul and I had never been the best of friends. I thought of every member of the pack as my brother- or, in Leah's case, sister. But Paul was like the brother that was about fifteen years older than you and out of college by the time you started high school. We weren't really close. Not nearly as close as I'd like us to be, anyway, since he pretty much just thought I was a huge pain.
"I'm glad she screwed up, Clip," Paul mumbled under his breath. "You're the most annoying little kid I've ever had to put up with, but…I don't know what we'd have done without you."
"Paul…I don't think I've ever heard you say something nice before," I gasped, tears stinging my eyes.
"Yeah…well, don't get used to it, kid," he chuckled. Paul put the plate on my lap, and wrapped his arms around me gently. "Eat the stupid food, ok? If you don't, Emily will get upset. And then she'll just cook more."
"I know," I sighed. "Thanks, Paul."
"Yeah…feel better," he ordered before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.
I still hadn't quite gotten over the shock of having Paul actually say something devoid of sarcasm or animosity- let alone nice- so when Jake entered my sickroom and sat down at the foot of my bed, I barely even gave him a nod of acknowledgment.
"You ok?" he asked, looking more than a little worried. Normally, every time he came to see me, my face would totally light up in the most pathetic, puppy-dog kind of way…I mean, it was really embarrassing. And apparently he'd noticed.
"I'm…kind of in shock," I admitted.
"What happened?"
"Paul said something nice to me," I said in awe, still hardly able to believe the phenomenon myself. "He said something genuinely nice. I never thought I'd see the day when Paul would say something good about me."
"Did you get documentation?" Jake gasped, shocked as I was. "Do we have an official record of the incident? Because you know he's just going to deny it."
"I know…but…wow." I shook my head in disbelief, and then turned to Jacob with a grin on my face. "Hi," I greeted him. "How have you been?"
He chuckled. "I've been better. I miss you on patrol, Clip," he sighed. "I never thought I'd actually miss your singing voice."
"I told you I wasn't that bad!" I exclaimed, punching the air with my fists in excitement. "Do you know when Carlisle's going to let me go home?"
"I don't know," Jake sighed. "Soon, I hope. You look like your feeling better."
"Oh, I am," I grinned. "Really."
"You know…when we found you…" he hung his head low, as if ashamed of himself. "I thought we were too late."
"You weren't," I reminded him. I hated seeing him upset- and he was so obviously upset right now. It was tearing me apart inside. Jake was my rock; he was what I clung to when things got all out of whack. The thought of him dying was what kept me going in that fight with Victoria, even when I knew I'd end up losing. When I'd first turned werewolf…he was the one that kept me from flinging myself off a cliff. The same goes for when my mother left. Jake had kept me sane…and kept me safe. Whenever I screwed up, Jake was always there to help clean up the mess. I hated feeling like there was nothing I could do to help him in return.
"I should have known," he groaned. "I should have known that you were going to run off, that you would go looking for Victoria. I should have known, and I should have stopped you. But I didn't."
"No," I agreed. "You didn't. And now I've got all these awesome vampire powers. I bet everyone in the pack is secretly jealous now, huh?"
"Don't joke about it," Jake sighed. "Frey…I just…I'm trying to apologize. What happened to you…it's my fault. And I'm sorry."
"Jake…" I shook my head, then took his hands in mine. "Look at me, Jake," I ordered him. Slowly, he lifted his head up to look me in the eyes. "I know what you did for me, Jake. I know that you killed Victoria- ripped her right off me. I know that you allied yourself with Owen- that you let him help you save me. I know how hard that was for you to do." I squeezed his hand. I wasn't sure what Owen had done to Jake to make him hate my vampire friend so much, but he'd put aside his differences in order to help me.
"Stop it," he ordered, his eyebrows knit tightly together. "Stop making me sound like some kind of hero, Freya, ok? Because I'm not. I'm the furthest thing from a hero. Heroes keep things like this from happening."
"You are a hero," I assured him. "You're my hero, Jake."
Suddenly, I couldn't take this anymore. All the secrecy…all the lies. Pretending to feel something I wasn't feeling. Acting like all I wanted with Jake was friendship. I was sick of it. Ever since Bella showed up in Forks again, I'd taken a back seat and let her steal my best friend.
Well, that wasn't going to happen anymore. Jake was my best friend. I loved him- and he deserved to know the truth.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and brought my lips crashing against his, hoping that everything- every lie I'd told him, everything I was feeling right then- would finally be made clear.
It only lasted a second, that kiss. For me, it was the most wonderful, amazing second of my entire life. In that second, it was just me, and Jake- the two of us, together. Nobody else but us…and I loved every second of it.
Too bad he didn't feel the same way. Jake shook his head, pushing me away with a roughness that surprised me before walking out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.
"Jake!" I called after him. I knew that he heard me- how could he not have? But he ignored me, and kept on walking.
I couldn't believe it. I'd been sure- so sure- that he'd at least liked me a little. I mean, I hadn't expected him to declare his undying love for me or anything, but I thought maybe he'd at least enjoyed kissing me. Instead, he'd acted like I'd tried to shove a lethal dose of arsenic down his throat or something.
I'll admit- I felt hurt. I felt rejected, lonely, and hurt. I'd been so sure…so sure. But I'd been horribly, hideously wrong. My cheeks began to burn as the adrenaline wore off, and I swore I felt my heart rip in half.
He'd run away from me.
Again.
For a moment, I didn't know what to do. Did I stay in bed like a good little girl, and cry my heart out? Did I call Bella for another movie night? That's what I'd done the last time Jake had broken my heart. But…the mess we'd made was awful. Besides, I wasn't generally the kind of girl that sat around feeling sorry for herself when things didn't go her way.
No…that just wouldn't do.
I remembered those last few moments, right when I'd thought I was going to die. I remembered what I'd been feeling…how desperate I'd been to tell Jake how much I loved him. It had been my dying wish. That he'd known. He still didn't know.
I clenched my fists, gathering up all my anger, all my courage. It would take all of it to get the words out now. I got up out of bed, and hurried down the hallway after Jacob. There was no way I was going to let him get away from me again. It was time he knew. And there was not one person on this Earth that could keep me from telling him now.
Not even me- not even him.
Well then! That's it for chapter 25! I hope you guys liked it...and don't worry, I've already got part of chapter 26 figured out, and it's going to explain Jake's weirdness:) So don't hate him yet:D
Penny for your thoughts?;)