Chapter 25AE
'What Do We Do About Kris?
'Jedi Idols for Sale in Aisle Three'
'Kiddie Pity Party'
'Remember In the Dark Times When People Had Manners?'
'Fear of the Red Hat'
Anakin pretends not to see the shopping bags. He leans across the sofa and greets his mother-in-law with a kiss on the cheek.
"Good evening, Mother. Good to see you, Nakai."
"Hey, Anakin. Good to see you." The two men shake hands.
Anakin turns to Leia.
"How did you get here?"
"Nakai and Ouisanne gave me a lift. I'm fine, Daddy. How are you?"
"Where's that ne'er-do-well spouse of yours?"
"He's here."
Anakin watches as Han emerges from the kitchen eating a glazed duck wing.
"Hey, what's going on?"
Anakin sneers.
"I see you can't wait for dinner. You can smell food a parsec away but you can't pick up your expectant wife?"
"I was on my way but she called and said she caught a ride."
"Convenient for you."
"Are we going to start this tonight?"
Anakin glances over at his wife. Isabel is waiting for him to make a bad decision. Anakin rethinks his actions. He then turns to Han and smiles.
"I promised to be on my best behavior."
"Okay. Fair enough. You ought to try these wings, they're delicious!" Han licks his fingers. Anakin wrinkles his nose in disgust.
"If there are any left." He turns his attention to Kris and his guests. "So, Kris, are you going to introduce us to your dinner guests?"
Boone whispers across the room to Threepio.
"Psst…Jeeves…where's my rucksack?"
Kris nods to his father.
"Oh, Sure. Mom, Dad, I would like to introduce you to Sig and Boonie. Guys, this is Nana and Nakai, and that's my old sister and brother-in-law."
Leia forces a smile.
"Hello." When no one is looking, Leia makes a hand gesture to her kid brother. She runs her finger across her throat. She does not appreciate the "old" remark.
Han wipes his hand on a cocktail napkin. He fist-bumps Boone.
"Put it there, kid."
Sieglinde watches the male bonding moment.
"What? You don't fist-bump girls?"
Han is caught off-guard for a moment. Her boldness reminds him of Leia on their first meeting many years ago.
"Whoa! What a big personality in such a small package. You've got spunk. I like that. Hit me."
Sieglinde is glad to oblige.
Isabel smiles.
"It's a pleasure to meet you both. Kris has told us so much about you."
Anakin stares at Isabel in disbelief. He knows nothing about the two youngsters. Boone pulls something out of his rucksack and hands a package to Isabel.
"Yes, ma'm. Oh, we each brought you a gift."
"Oh, thank you."
Isabel accepts the square box and removes the wrapping. Boone gestures anxiously at the gift.
"It's from the Jedi Temple Gift shop…just open it at the green seal."
"I see. Such lovely paper." Isabel lifts something out of the box. It resembles a crystal snow globe with a red jewel-like object floating inside. "Oh…The Heart of …"
Boone interjects.
"…The Galaxy…It's a replica."
Kris rolls his eyes.
"Duh! If that were the real thing, you'd be in jail for grand theft."
Ana-Lena quips.
"Yeah, jail. You're going to know a lot about jail real soon."
Isabel shows off the gifts to her parents, Leia, and Han.
"Replicas are good too. Thank you." She gives Ana-Lena and her brother a stern glance for their rude remarks, she then turns to Anakin. "Isn't this nice, Honey?"
"Real nice, Babe."
Han reaches for it but Anakin intercepts it.
"Don't put your greasy fingers on our gift."
"My hands are clean."
Sieglinde offers her gift. It is also from the Jedi Temple gift shop. Isabel opens it.
Suddenly, a familiar voice speaks but only Anakin and his children can hear it.
'Oh great! A set of Mace Windu purple lightsaber bookends encased in crystal! I see everyone passed up on the Qui-Gon JinnBronzium sculptures. How could they miss them? They're on the first display pedestal as you walk through the door. It's a staple in every Jedi family home.'
Another voice responds.
'That's my blonde-headed little air-surfer gal. You go girl.'
Leia whispers to herself.
"Someone's going to be floating around in a bad mood tonight."
The specters of Jedi Masters Mace Windu and Qui-Gon Jinn hover near the fireplace. Anakin ignores the pouting Force Ghost Qui-Gon.
Just then, Arnold presents the Skywalker's with a gift wrapped in linen.
"Oh, I almost forgot; I brought something too."
Isabel smiles. She was not expecting anything from Arnold. The last thing she wanted from any of the children was for them to spend their hard-earned money.
"Arnold, you shouldn't have. You are such a sweet boy. Thank you."
Anakin can tell what it is by its shape.
"Gee…I wonder what it could be? No way! Isabel! It's a statue of Saint Qui-Gon Jinn. It's like the one on display at the Jedi Temple Gift Shop. Don't we have three of these?"
Isabel steps on Anakin's toe.
"Oww!"
"Thank you Arnold. We should put it in the dining room over the doorway. Right, Anakin?"
Anakin agrees in order to avoid further injury.
"Great idea, Honey. It's lovely!"
Leia folds her hands across her belly.
"Thank God! That should make certain "parties" happy. So, who else is coming to this shindig?"
Isabel responds.
"I believe we're it. Luke can't make it. He's still traveling. Li-An says he was busy putting something together and Alex said his band is stuck on Tatooine in a sandstorm."
There is commotion at the front door.
"Threepio, I go it…oh, man!"
"I am so sorry, Master Li-An. I will help you with that."
"No. I've got it. No worries."
Li-An tries to slip by the living room with a bundle slung across his shoulder.
"Hey, folks! I'm here for the kiddie party."
"Is that what I think it is, Li-An?"
"Uhm…It's not that much, Mum."
"What's wrong with the washers at the Jedi Temple?"
"I was gonna do it there but then I would be stuck in the laundry room all afternoon. So I thought, 'Wouldn't it be better to be here for Sunday dinner with my family?'"
"Fine. Put it in the laundry room."
"Oh, I brought a little gift for you, Mom."
Li-An opens the laundry bag. He hands her something that he tied up in the bundle of laundry.
"Oh, a bottle of wine. Thank you, sweetie."
Kris and Boone smile and wring their hands greedily.
"Wow…cool!"
"Your family is so cool, Kris. We never get to drink wine in my house…except for the grownups."
Li-An presents another bottle.
"Oh, that's not for kids. This is for kids. Rodian Lime Youngling Beverage. It's non-alcoholic."
Boone laughs.
"Rodian lame beverage. You can't catch a break, eh, Kris? I guess you 'are' being punished."
Li-An hands his mother another gift.
"Oh, this is for the house."
"Oh, a Saint Ayala Secura house blessing candlestick. It's beautiful, Li-An."
Anakin examines the bottle of wine and then looks at his son.
"This is good stuff."
"I know. I was thinking only the best for my parents. You're the greatest cook in the galaxy, Mum. A superior wine is required."
Anakin tucks the bottle under his arm.
"I thought you were taking a vow of poverty for the priesthood. Where did you get the money?"
"Ahem… I charged it to the Skywalker account."
"Gee, let me thank myself for this generous gift."
"You're welcome, Dad." He gives his father a hearty slap on the back.
"So, what's going on with you and the priesthood?"
"I'm going to think about it some more…I met this girl while I was doing missionary work on Dantooine and she said I was throwing my life away and maybe being a doctor is cooler."
Isabel and Anakin speak at once.
"What?"
Li-An realizes he may have said too much.
"Uhm…"
Han has a wide grin on his face.
"So, is this chick your life coach now?"
Anakin is not amused.
"Does this girl have a name?"
"Yes….oh! Her name is Kyla Shan."
Han is surprised.
"Really? The singer? Isn't she on Dantooine doing community service for slapping an Imperial guard? She's hot…in person...so I've been told."
Leia gives Han a dirty look.
Anakin is not done with Li-An.
"Are you seeing this girl?"
"Uhm…Not really...sort of…I've got to put this laundry away, Dad…we'll talk later…okay?"
Li-An, I'm not done with you!"
Han cannot resist making a joke about this.
"Missionary work, eh? I bet you taught her a lesson or two!"
Leia is annoyed with Han.
"You can't resist making a stupid remark, can you?"
"I was just making conversation. I haven't seen the kid for a week. It was a joke. Right, Li-An?"
"Yeah, sure, Han."
Li-An makes his way to the laundry room. There is more commotion at the front door. The voice of the family's pompous protocol droid is chastising someone.
"Oh, now you show up. I hope you had a good time gallivanting all over the galaxy while the young Skywalker children are getting into all sorts of mischief. You rusty old trash can."
The astromech droid rolls pass Threepio ignoring his rant. Someone follows Artoo inside the door. Threepio greets them.
"Well, Master Luke! What a lovely surprise. We didn't expect you."
"It's good to be home, Threepio."
"Yes, it is, sir. Oh, good evening Mistress Mara."
Hey, Threep."
"Threep?"
"Yeah, that's my new name for you. Is dinner ready? They didn't start without us, did they?"
Mara sets an insulated tote bag on the table in the foyer. Threepio stares at it for a moment.
"Oh, they would never start without you."
"Good; this family eats like a group of nexu."
"I am sure you will put them to shame. Threepio walks away"
"You got that right….Hey!"
Alex arrives. He brings company. Threepio and Hobson are overwhelmed with the additional dinner guests.
Hobson the butler appears in the living room.
"Dinner is served." He notices the extra guests.
"Shall I arrange for extra chairs, Madame?"
Isabel looks at the frail old man.
"No, Hobson. I'll have the boys take care of that. Thank you."
"Quite a crowd you've got here, tonight, Madame. Where did they all come from?"
"They're supporting their little brother."
"Even the young lady in the tiny jacket?"
"I think we're about to find out."
Alex catches up with his parents on the way into the dining room. He hands his mother a gift. She is happy to see him.
"Mum? Dad?"
"Hello, Alex."
"Hope you don't mind me bringing a guest. This is Liana Aldrete. She just joined my band as one of my back-up singers."
The petite girl is wearing a short jacket that barely covers her waist and neither do the leather pants.
She enthusiastically hugs Isabel and Anakin. Anakin hates being hugged, especially by people he does not know. Her wispy brown hair smells like Endor mountain flowers. Anakin stands frozen in place. This is an awkward situation for him. The girl looks into his eyes.
"Alex says he has the best parents in the world. I can see why. You are so awesome."
Anakin nervously clears his throat. He unhinges her arms from his neck letting her drop to her feet. He then steps away.
"I hope so; we're the only parents he has… Shall we?" Anakin escorts her to the dining table.
Alex whispers to her as he pulls out a chair for her.
"Hold onto your seat; this is where the fun begins…I'm setting the timer on my watch."
"Why?"
"Fireworks."
Liana has an excited look on her face.
"Where? Outside?"
"No…right here in the dining room."
'Haroun Helper'
The youngest Skywalker files into the dining room with his guests. Anakin stands at the head of the table and gestures for Kris to sit near him to his right.
"Kris, since you are the special host for the evening, you may sit here at the head of the table with me. Apparently we have not spent enough time together."
"Oh, okay, Dad."
Anakin hears the beginnings of squabbles at the table.
He gives a warning.
"If anyone moves their place card, I'll strangle you."
Suddenly several place cards are returned to the original place settings at the table. Anakin takes his seat. Li-An is about to say grace but notices something is amiss.
"Something is wrong. Who's missing?"
Leia waves her hand.
"No one. Let's eat."
Just then, the butler Hobson escorts old man Palpatine into the dining room.
"It's okay, Sir, take your time…one step at a time…steady..."
Leia, Mara, Han, and Ana-Lena have the best view of the two old men entering the dining room. Hobson is shuffling slowly. Palpatine is putting up a fuss.
"I can walk! Get away from me you old fossil!"
Palpatine makes his way to the far side of the table facing Kris and Sieglinde. The girl immediately begins to feel anxious. She whispers to Kris. Anakin looks up at Palpatine.
"Sit on the other side of the table."
"But, Anakin, I'm already here."
"Other side, please?"
Palpatine obliges and takes a seat at the other end of the table to the left of Isabel.
Li-An begins the blessing. Palpatine rolls his eyes and pretends to bow his head in prayer.
"Bless this meal we are about to receive. We share this meal with family and friends.
May it nourish us and give us strength. May others across the galaxy be blessed with the bounty we enjoy here tonight. Amen."
Anakin raises his eyebrows then tips his hand from side-to-side. Li-An sighs in frustration. Luke gives his brother a "thumbs up".
"Amen! Good job, Li."
Everyone responds in kind. Quisanne applauds her grandson.
"That was beautiful, Li-An."
"Thanks, Nana."
Anakin drinks his wine. Ouisanne looks across the table at Sieglinde. The girl is still wearing her faux fur tauntaun hat with the ears. Quisanne smiles.
"Sweetheart, remove your hat. You have such a lovely face. Why cover that beautiful head of hair?"
"Yes, Ma'm."
Sieglinde reaches for the hat and slowly pulls it off her head. Hobson tries to take it but she stuffs it in her lap. Her two flaxen braids hang over her shoulders. Ouisanne smiles with approval.
"Ah…there you go."
Palpatine tries to crane his neck to get a look at her at the other end of the table. He whispers to Isabel.
"I tried to get her to remove that hat earlier. She totally ignored me. Children were quite different when Anakin was their age."
Leia chimes in.
"This isn't the dark ages. You probably frightened the poor girl. Creepy old man." She rolls her eyes.
Mara pushes her palms upward over her head in a "raise the roof" motion.
"Woo-woo! I second that." She serves herself from the crawlfish platter.
Anakin puts down his wine glass. He looks toward the end of the table at Palpatine.
"What happened to you, old man? You were holding everyone up."
"I must have dosed off in the dayroom. No one ever came in to get me."
Han, Leia, and Mara mock the old sith.
"Boo-hoo….hehehehee."
Anakin changes the subject. He speaks to Sieglinde.
"So, Miss Lundegaard, tell us about yourself."
Sieglinde stops chewing her food.
"I go to school in the city. I like air surfer boarding. This crawlfish is pretty good."
"Uhm…I'm glad you like it. So, how did you meet Mister Kris over here?"
"Oh, I met him on a ski day on Mt. Ison."
"Kris, when were you on Hoth?"
"Dad, remember last year Luke gave me a ski trip for my birthday?"
"Oh. Was that the trip I said you couldn't go on because you disobeyed Master Kyle?
"You said it would be a cold day on Mustafar before you paid for it."
"I see my message got across." He rolls his eyes then continues his conversation with Sieglinde.
"So, Missy, You're not from Coruscant?"
"No, Sir. I'm from Hoth. My family relocated when my dad's company transferred him."
"What does your father do?"
"He's a cartographer. He maps out the new star systems across the galaxy."
"He can do that remotely. What company made that dumb, bonehead decision?"
"The Imperial Armed Forces Headquarters."
"Oh…" Anakin turns to Han. "Hey, Han, check into that tomorrow morning when you get into the office. I want a report on my desk by noon."
"Uh…okay…sure. I usually don't get into the office until noon…but uh…" Anakin gives Han the 'stare of doom.' Han immediately changes his answer. "…But I guess I can come in a little early."
"Better answer. A perfect response would have been: 'I will have it for you first thing in the morning, sir.'"
"But I thought you said noon…What difference does it make if I come it a little later? As long as you get it by noon…"
"Are you mocking me?'
"No, but you should say what you mean…Listen, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help. You asked me to help and I'm helping. Happy?"
Anakin is becoming agitated. Everyone listens as his fingers tap impatiently on the table. Mara and Luke try not to giggle. Luke covers his mouth with a napkin. Mara cannot hold it in and leaves the table.
"Excuse me."
Leia follows Mara into the kitchen.
"I need some water."
Ouisanne sees the water pitcher and all the filled water glasses around the table.
"There's plenty of water right here. Someone hand Leia some water."
Li-An grabs a glass and hurries into the kitchen. Alex discreetly leaves the table.
"We're out of haroun dinner rolls."
Liana follows him.
Ana-Lena tries to leave.
"I'll help."
Anakin speaks.
"You're in enough trouble as it is. Sit down!"
Anakin's father-in-law looks around the table. Nakai goes into a coughing fit. He wipes his mouth with his napkin.
"Anakin, I will go and bring them back to the table."
Luke joins him.
"I'll help you."
'Nerfherder Takes a Lickin' but He Keeps on Tickin''
Nakai and Luke stand in the doorway of the kitchen. Nakai is ready to scold them. He has a stern look on his face.
"I have never, in all my years with this family, witnessed such immature behavior from all of you! Absolutely shameful! You should be setting an example for your younger siblings and their guests…but …I have to say…that was the funniest thing I have ever seen!"
Nakai doubles over the counter in tears of laughter. Luke stands in quiet contemplation looking at the floor. His tone is serious.
"Alex, did you time it?"
Alex holds up his left arm showing his watch.
"Eleven minutes and 22 seconds."
Leia screams. Everyone gets quiet. She quickly covers her mouth. She squeals in a soft whisper.
"I won! I won! I beat you, Luke. Finally! Hah!"
Ouisanne knocks on the kitchen door.
"Is everything alright in there? Is Leia okay?"
Nakai yells back. He locks the door.
"Everything is fine…we're fine…I'm gathering the group. Go back in the dining room."
Liana jumps up and down but then she is confused.
"Yaah, Leia! What did she win?"
Alex turns to her. A crooked smile creeps across his face.
"Every family dinner, we post bets on how long it will take for my dad to lose his temper at the table. The last time it was 20 minutes. Today, he set a new record. To make things interesting we have to guess who will be his first target."
"What did she win?"
"Nothing…it's just a game."
"When can I play?"
"It's over."
"Oh…How about we do it again at dessert?"
Mara and Leia are losing patience with Liana. Her bubbly personality irritates them. Mara decides to respond.
"If we play, you can be the subject."
"Oh, goody!"
Alex grabs Liana by the arm.
"Let's get back to the dinner table." He looks back at Mara and Leia as if to scold them.
Mara giggles. She is packing food into the insulated tote that she brought with her.
"That was fun. Geez, Leia, you almost gave us a heart attack. We thought you were going into labor with all that screaming."
Leia helps herself to a pyollian cream cake. Mara stores several in her tote.
"Nakai, I thought you were going to faint when you walked in here."
"You kids are crazy."
Luke points to his wife and siblings.
"I just want to say that each one of you should be ashamed of yourselves."
The jeers start.
"Boo…Boo!" They all hurl napkins and tea towels at him. Li-An does not participate. Luke shields himself from the onslaught and tries to speak.
"What did I do? You're all guilty except for Li-An." Luke tosses the napkins and tea towels on the counter. "Real mature, guys. Leia, why don't you go check up on your husband and make sure he's still alive?"
"Daddy's over that. He's not going to do anything to Han. Han says something dumb every time they meet. Where's the challenge?" Leia thinks for a moment. "Okay, I'll go and check on him. Where did Alex find that girl? God, she's a ditz!"
"She must be some good singer or she's talented in the sack."
Mara agrees.
"Sack!"
Luke shakes his head.
"You two are horrible."
"Sue me."
Everyone returns to the dinner table. Anakin has been chatting with the young dinner guests. He learns that Boone Antilles is from Alderaan and he has three siblings, all sisters. Boone is a descendant of a long line of folk artists. Boone attends middle school in Coruscant City with Sieglinde. They have remained close friends ever since they arrived as outsiders.
Kris is the first Jedi they have ever met who is the same age as they are.
After dinner, Kris invites Arnold to join him and his friends to play holo-games in the family room. The four children get along splendidly.
Ana-Lena does not want to look at old Palps across the dinner table. She cannot believe that her mother is helping to cut the old man's food. She stares at the old sith with disgust. She cannot wait until dinner is over and she can go back to her horrible boarding school. She will hitch a ride with Han and Leia, providing Han is not too humiliated by her father.
'Bikini Laundry'
As the family gathers in the living room, Isabel summons Li-An.
"Li-An, may I see you for a moment, please?"
"Sure, Mum!"
Isabel takes Li-An by the arm and gently leads him to the laundry room.
"Li-An, I am going to do something for you that will influence the rest of your life."
"What's that, Mum?"
She hands him his bag of unwashed laundry. Grabs his hand and forces his index finger against a blue button on the washer. The display panel lights up with the word 'Wash.' She smiles as she waits for him to empty contents of the laundry bag into the washer.
"I want to commend you on your generosity in washing your girlfriend's candy-striped bikini. Is she a hospital volunteer or just play one on the holovids?"
Li-An turns red with embarrassment as his mother leaves him alone with his laundry.
'Puttin' On My Top Hat, Riding with the Sith'
Palpatine seems to be obsessed with Kris' friends, especially Sieglinde. Isabel plans to have a few words with her husband after everyone leaves. She is disappointed by Anakin's behavior at the dinner table in the presence of minors.
Isabel's parents take Arnold, Sieglinde, and Boone home. Boone says this was the best time he has ever had. He finds the Dark Lord thoroughly entertaining.
Anakin prepares to take Ana-Lena and Old Palps home. No one else volunteers to do it and Anakin was afraid of what the others would do to the old man if they are forced to drive him back to Shady Acres. Anakin calls Ana-Lena.
"Ana-Li? Where are you? Hurry up now; I have to drop off your grandfather."
Palpatine tries to fasten the buttons on his coat.
"Oh, bother! I don't know why I am having so much trouble with this coat. Anakin, son…do you mind?"
Anakin looks at the pathetic old soul.
"Come here. You're a mess. Have you gotten your check-up at the Shady Acres Senior Clinic?"
"I'm perfectly fine. I have no use for those quack doctors."
"Nevertheless, you should go to the geriatric clinic and have a check-up. It is included in your housing plan after all. You're an old man…you aren't going to go on forever, you know."
"Thank you for brightening my day, Anakin."
"You know what I mean. You're at that age where you forget things and your body isn't functioning the way it used to."
"Must you go on?"
"I'm just being real about it."
"Okay…stop…stop…." Palpatine slaps Anakin's hands away. Anakin laughs and them playfully spars with the old sith.
"What's that? You're trying to hit me, you old geezer? Put 'em up…put 'em up…"
Palpatine is not playing along.
"Anakin, please! Don't mock me." The old man appears disconsolate.
"Okay, I apologize." He removes something from a bag. "Here, wear this."
"What's this?"
"It's a hat. Isabel's mother made it. You don't have any hats…"
"How do you know?"
"I've never seen you wear a hat."
"She made a hat for me?" He looks at Anakin but Anakin does not answer. The hat was intended as a gift for Anakin from his Mother-in-law, but there is no way on Mustafar that he is going to wear it. Anakin is a born regifter.
"Yeah…it's for you." He is lying.
"I didn't think she cared for me…It's just that…I'm not a hat person, Anakin. I don't want hat hair."
"How are you going to get hat hair with that perm thing going on, on top of your head? Just try it"
Anakin places the red knit bantha wool hat on the old sith.
"Ohhh…" Palpatine whines. Anakin purses his lips to keep from laughing. He pushes Palpatine in front of the foyer mirror. The old man looks as if he is about to cry. "I look like an old queen!"
"Which one?" Anakin grins.
"It's not funny."
"But at least you'll be warm. Keep it on. So, did you enjoy yourself tonight?"
"Dinner was lovely…Isabel was very nice to me tonight." The old man pauses for a moment. He quickly changes the topic. "Anakin, you should talk to Kris. He is in need of parental guidance. I could do it…but I would never want to interfere with your parenting…"
"Don't worry about Kris. I'm his father. I know what he needs. We had a talk. I've already explained what's in store for him this summer."
"I just regret not spending time with Kris and his little friends."
"What? He didn't even spend time with us! What adolescent wants to hang out with his parents and grandparents when he has a bunch of friends at the house?"
"They spent time with Nakai."
"He was showing them how he carves miniature canoes. It's a cool skill that kids like. The man's got talent. What do you have?"
"I used to have a lot! I used to be somebody. Now I'm just a tolerated old man. Kris' friends were not as I expected. I'm disappointed in how they turned out."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Sigrid…she used to be so sweet and considerate; and the boy! What a potty mouth on him!"
"Have you lost your mind? The girl's name is Sieglinde. No wonder she was annoyed with you. You kept calling her Sigrid. You scare children…do you realize that? I think you're getting feeble."
"The older kids ignore me and disrespect me. I used to be relevant, Anakin. I am not feeble!"
"Well, this is your life. You played a bad hand and this is what you get. Don't start this nonsense tonight. I've got a lot of other important 'sith' going on." He pats Palpatine on the face. "Cheer up, old man. Things could be worse." He calls out for Ana-Lena. "Ana-Li! Get down here now! I've got to get your grandfather to the old folks home!"
Ana-Lena comes downstairs.
"Dad…"
"Oh, there you are. Let's roll."
"I'm not going."
"What? Of course you're going. You're due back at the school tonight."
"Han and Leia are driving me back to school."
Anakin will not accept this change of plans.
"No, you're coming with me."
"No, I'm going with Han and Leia."
"I'll kill that meddling nerfherder."
"I asked them to take me because you don't respect me as a woman."
"Because you're 14 years old! Do not piss me off tonight. I've got enough going on with your grandfather and Kris."
"I'm not going. You'll have to drag me to the speeder." Ana-Lena sits in a chair in the foyer and sulks."
Anakin feels as if he is losing control over his family. Looks around the room.
"Where's your mother? Isabel! Isabel!"
Isabel walks into the living room.
"Why are you screaming?"
"Where have you been?"
"I was giving some words of advice to your "number two" son. What's your problem?"
The Dark Lord points to his rebellious daughter.
"Talk to her. She won't get in the speeder."
Ana-Lena is defiant.
"I'm not getting in the speeder with Daddy after the way he treated me today. Han and Leia said they would take me back to prison."
Palpatine looks at Anakin sounding genuinely shocked at these revelations.
"Oh, dear! I thought she was in convent school."
Ana-Lena sighs.
"Convent school, prison…same thing." Ana-Lena stares at the old sith. "What the hell is that on your head?"
"It's a hat. Your grandmother made it for me."
"Looks like the crown in the 'Biscuit Baron Better Butter' commercial. Ah-ha!"
Palpatine squints at Ana-Lena. He turns to Anakin.
"Anakin, I'm ready to go home, please."
Leia appears in the foyer and puts on her coat.
"Ready, Kiddo?"
"Yes." Ana-Lena grabs her things then puts on her coat.
Leia sees the expression on her father's face. It is a cross between betrayal and hurt.
"Dad, don't worry. She is at that rebellious stage. She'll talk you again."
"Make sure she gets inside the building before you drive off."
"Dad, we've got it under control. I will personally walk her inside to Mother Superior. I don't think that woman ever sleeps. She scares the crap out of me."
"Yes, she is a Force to deal with." Anakin smiles.
"True."
"Han still mad at me?"
"He'll be alright. He's sitting in the speeder sulking. Dad, seriously, you've got to stop choking him."
"Hey, he choked me first! I didn't see that coming. I thought he was looking forward to me Force-choking him. It's become a Sunday dinner tradition. Hehehheh."
Leia wraps the cashmere neck scarf around her father's neck, and then tucks it inside the collar of his suede speeder coat.
"It's not funny anymore, Dad. The two of you have to grow up. You set a bad example for Kris, Arnold and the other kids. Anyway, thanks for dinner. See you next weekend." She kisses her father then glances at old man Palpatine. "Interesting hat."
Palpatine turns up his nose and walks pass her.
"Thank you." He follows Anakin out the door.
'Vulnerable State'
Luke stands in the doorway of Kris's bedroom.
"Kris, you're making too big a deal about this. Going to Tantooine is a rite of passage. I've done it, Leia's done it…You're not being punished."
Kris whines.
"But it's a whole summer with Uncle Owen!"
"Okay, you're being punished." Luke smiles.
"Am I a problem child, Luke?"
"No. You're not a problem child. You just screwed up a lot this year."
"Can you get me out of this mess I'm in, Luke? Please?"
"Sorry, kid. I can't get involved. Dad will kill me. He's in a vulnerable state right now."
"What about Kyle? Do you think he will help me?"
"Kyle Katarn can't help you. Dad is already blaming him for part of the mess you're in."
"Everybody says I'm going to starve. Luke, there are no activities."
"Well, you won't starve. Aunt Beru will feed you and you'll have plenty of activities…so…"
"I know, I know, 'idle hands are the Sith's playground'. You don't need to remind me."
"No, idle hands don't exist as long as Uncle Owen's running the farm. Hah hah hah! See? I made you laugh. Just wait until you return home. You're going to be spoiled senseless."
"I suppose… Maybe Dad will have a new appreciation for me…but what's going to happen between me and Sig? What if she meets another guy and falls in love?"
"You're joking, right? Relax, you're twelve."
"But…"
"Trust me, she'll be around. Girls will always be around."
"Thanks, Luke. I'm really glad we had this talk."
"You lucked out; Mara's still raiding the kitchen for leftovers."
"Is everyone still mad at her for packing the cupcakes before dessert was served?"
"I thought Leia was going to kill her but there was more dessert."
"Yeah, she almost caused a riot. Maybe you should send her to Tatooine. She needs an attitude adjustment more than I do."
"Nooo…Uncle Owen would kill her. Chin up, kiddo."
Luke tousles Kris' blonde hair.
"Thanks, Luke."
"May the Force be with you."
"You too, Luke."
"Get a haircut!" Luke laughs and then leaves his brother.
The specters of three Force Ghosts appear on the terrace.
'Do you think Ani would mind if we kept an eye on Kris this summer?'
Ayala Secura scolds Qui-Gon.
'Qui-Gon, we promised not to interfere.'
'What do you think, Master Windu?'
'I agree with Ayala. We do not interfere.'
Ki-Adi-Mundi appears.
'Am I late?'
Qui-Gon responds.
'We don't agree on how Ani's raising Kris. I vote on an intervention.'
'Did Mace and Ayala vote 'no'?'
'They did.'
'Will Ani be angry if we interfere?'
'Definitely.'
'Then let's do it.'
'I knew I could count on you. You are a reasonable Jedi.'
Master Windu and Ayala glance at one another.
'Does he realize we use reverse psychology every time we vote on something?'
'Apparently not.'