AN: Hey guys, so it's been a while because I wanted to write longer chapters and give you a bigger chunck of the story so that it would make more sense :) so here you have, 3 long chapters all in one go :D

Also, I've realised I forgot to put the time frames for the flashback, which I have started to do now, so I updated the last 2 chapters as well, if you feel like checking those out again ;)

Otherwise, thank you for all your reviews and faves and follows and looking forward to see what you think about these new chapters xxx

Rey felt the jolt of the ship, which meant Poe had managed to struck the core and now they had only hours left before the ship would collapse. And she could only wait.

Rey almost jumped when she felt the surge of the Force. It wasn't just inside her, but everywhere around her, his signature, his call. He needed her help, she could tell from the erratic vibrations of the power inside her. She got to her feet and knocked on the door, three times, each knock longer than the other. The doors opened and the stormtroopers stood on either side of it. Rey took a tentative step outside the cell, neither of the stormtroopers moved or showed any signs of protest; so she took another step, and then another, until she was running down the intricate corridors towards Ben. The Force was showing her the way and she couldn't help but marvel at their connection. How could they be so connected now, when she could so clearly remember a time they hadn't been?

Flashback

(The months after Leia's death)

Rey had been desperate to see Ben again after the funeral. He had just vanished from the procession, the warmth of his hand gone, leaving her own feeling exposed and vulnerable. She had held out her hand for a while, before she realised he wasn't coming back.

And then, after it had all finished, the big ceremony, the farewells, the painful goodbyes, Rey had waited in her room for him to show up, to talk. She wanted to tell him he wasn't alone in his pain and grief, he had her, they had both lost Leia. She could share in the burden, if only he'd let her. But he didn't come, that night or the following night or the night after that. He didn't come to her for weeks; he didn't come to her at all.

Rey figured it would only be a matter of weeks, after all, he couldn't control the bond, could he? The Force would connect them regardless; just like it had the first time. So she patiently waited for that. In the beginning, she had been hyper-aware of any changes in the flow of the Force around her, stopping at odd moments in her day just to wait for him; nothing ever happened. But she had hoped and had searched for him, tried to reach him herself, but it was as if he had erased his signature all together, or as if he was hiding from her.

It was after 6 months of not seeing him at all, that Rey finally admitted to herself that she might never will again, that somehow, their bond had broken; or that somehow, Ben had destroyed it. She remembered so vividly how it had felt, being trapped into the vacuum of his absence, feeling betrayed and empty; but mostly, feeling alone. She remembered feeling more than she'd ever felt on Jakku, more abandoned, more hurt. He had offered her a piece, the tiniest piece of himself, that showed that he was hurting, and then he had ran away. He was a coward; and a lot of the times, she would be angry at him; and yet, most days, she would feel broken, like she was lacking a part of herself. And it frightened her, it frightened her how his absence had affected her in those first months.

But, eventually, she had learned to live with his absence, just as she'd learned to live with the absence of her family; and the next six months after that became bearable. She wasn't looking for him in every corner, wasn't expecting him to just materialise out of thin air anywhere around her. No, by now, she had learned that he wouldn't; and she was ok with that. Besides, there were so many things she had to do since she had taken over Leia's role alongside Poe. Poe, sweet, kind and generous Poe; Poe who wanted to take care of her if only she'd let him. But how could she, when she was waiting on a ghost?

Now, as Ben stood before her, 18 months after she had seen him last, she felt a lump rise in her throat, felt her insides churning. He stood there, taller than before, it seemed, and larger, his presence so very demanding. Rey felt tears gather in the corners of her eyes and she looked away from him and at the papers in her hands.

"Rey," he said her name softly, gingerly even, when she tried to ignore him.

Rey plastered the papers on the desk next to her and looked at him, her nostrils flaring. "How did you stop? Hm? And how did you start it again? How do you control it?" She realised she had been steadily rising her voice and leaning in. She pulled back, tried to calm herself.

"We control the Force, not it us," he answered in the most nonchalant way.

Rey scoffed. Then huffed. Then decided she didn't really want to do this with him right now, that if he could walk out on her, then so could she. She moved angrily past him and towards the door, but Ben grabbed her wrist with his hand and stopped her dead in her tracks.

Rey could feel her eyes well up, could feel the tremble of her voice, originating deep inside her throat, even before she spoke. "I can't feel you," she whispered, looking down at their hands and then back up at him.

Ben's eyes widened with shock, then saddened with understanding. "It's because of the time we spent apart," he said, his voice quiet. He offered her a small, sad smile before he removed his hand. She hadn't felt that either, but she was looking at his hands and saw him pull away. Ben let out a deep sigh as he took a few steps about the room.

"I want answers," Rey said, desperately trying to make her voice steady.

"Ok," Ben spoke from directly behind her and she flinched; she hadn't felt him come up so closely behind her. "Ask me," he encouraged her.

"After you came to the funeral," she started, "what happened?"

"I trashed my room and Force-chocked most of the people that were in my way that day," he replied, his voice still holding a hint of the rawness and pain he must have felt that day.

Rey swallowed hard. She hadn't expected him to be so honest so quickly. "Is it then when you stopped our bond?"she asked accusingly.

"No."

"Then when did you?"she asked when he didn't offer any more details.

"I didn't."

"Don't lie to me!" She turned around abruptly so that she could face him; but he had been a lot closer than she'd expected, their faces were only inches apart. Rey took a moment to look at his face, the scar on his cheek had healed even more, gaining a white colour and a rougher texture; his hair had grown, falling over his eye and obscuring his face, she wished she could pin it away. And his eyes, his eyes had changed, there was a glimmer in them that hadn't been there before, a shine in the warm brown of his pupils. It was strange, he was so close, and yet she couldn't sense him, not really. Their bond had never felt so thin and fragile.

"I'm not lying, Rey," he said, searching her eyes. "I didn't stop the bond, I just wished it away," he confessed.

Rey couldn't believe her own desperation, but she couldn't help but ask: "Why?"

Ben lifted his hand as if to touch her face but stopped himself when he realised she probably won't feel a thing. Holding out his hand in mid air, he closed it into a fist and let it drop by his side. "Because it was easier," he heard himself confess.

Rey looked away. She tried to look at anything but him, and she failed miserably: for when she looked at her own hands, she couldn't help but glance at his, and when she stared at her feet, she couldn't help but notice his that were so close. She realised she needed space, space away from him, so she pulled away.

Ben itched to get closer to her as soon as she pulled away but knew that that wouldn't rebuild their connection; but that honesty would, so he was honest. "Rey," he started, "after my mother died, I knew I never wanted to be Ben ever again. There was nobody that would have remembered me by that name, nobody who would see me like Ben. Nobody, except you. Which meant you had to go away." He looked at her, his eyes apologetic. "So I just learned to use the Force and break our bond before it would completely form, before it could connect us. But I only did that for a while; eventually, you just disappeared." Ben let out a low chuckle. "But you were never really gone. As I tried to asses my power in the galaxy, as I killed and conquered, you were always there, at the back of my mind, just as she had been. I couldn't shake you off! And then one day, I remembered what my mother had said about my grandfather, that he had given his life for Luke, and I went in search of answers. And I've found out things, things about my family, about my blood, about who I really am. After that, I tried to reach you again, but I couldn't. Not until today."

Rey only nodded. There was a lot she had to take in, a lot she had to process. And even though she had missed him like she would have missed a part of herself, and even though it felt like she had felt so alone for the past year and a half, she told him: "You should leave now. I'd like to be alone, Ben."

End of flashback.

Rey ran until her feet were shaking, until she reached the throne room. Then, the doors opened and all hell broke loose.