Although Remus was exhausted, he found that sleep didn't come easily. He lay awake for several hours replaying last night's dangerous encounter in his mind. A werewolf loose in Hogwarts? How could he have been so stupid as to think of the Room of Requirement as a solution? What if he hadn't made it into the room at all? He should have gone to the Forbidden Forest; the chance of encountering Hagrid was probably quite small, and the half-giant knew how to take care of himself. Remus decided that he needed to further refine his risk assessment skills. Clearly, his logic could have failed him this time, and with terrible consequences.

But what he couldn't wrap his mind around was the way his desire for Lily had somehow gotten tangled up in his werewolf self's desire to destroy her. The two cravings had bled into one, even before he fully transformed; and this realization terrified him. If Lily hadn't pushed him away, if he hadn't gotten into the room … Well, she might have had a moment to run while the change occurred. Perhaps she could have escaped. He clung to this possibility even while he berated himself for naively believing it.

But Lily knew now. She knew what he was. And she didn't hate him for it. Something in him took comfort in the thought, and he felt decidedly less lonely. He spent several minutes pondering whether it made sense for them to be together since, after all, the worst part was over. There was nothing more to shock her, to repulse her. She'd seen him at his most grotesque and accepted him in spite of it. With a sigh, he tried to sweep the hope into a corner, even if he couldn't push it entirely from his mind.

Besides, there was James. Reliable James. Perfectly non-werewolfy James. James, who was, just maybe, perhaps, growing up a bit; but his timing couldn't have been worse, the sodding bastard. Why had she allowed James to touch her tonight?

Remus frowned and rolled over onto his stomach, hugging his pillow. The moon created a bloody glow through the thick maroon fabric surrounding his bed. He stared unblinking at the bed curtains until his eyes were as dry as parchment. With a force of will, he closed his eyes and tried to think of a tranquil lake, a moonless night.

Thirty minutes later, when it became evident that he wasn't about to get any sleep, Remus's eyes flew open. Quietly, he made his way down to the Common Room, opened a window, removed his pajama top, and leaned out to inhale the brisk night air for several minutes. He stared down at his sinewy forearms. Squinting his eyes, he could almost visualize what his arms and hands would look like with none of the old scars. He looked out into the night sky and watched the owls and bats chasing down their evening meals. Were their lives simpler?

A small sound made Remus turn. A lithe figure in a white nightgown was making its way toward him from the girls' stairwell.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Lily commented as she neared the window. Her hair was tousled and stuck up in several places. Remus was pained to observe that she had never looked more beautiful.

"No," he admitted. "Can't sleep. Wonder why."

Lily stared out the window and sighed, and as she turned her head he saw the bruised wound on her neck. A wellspring of remorse gurgled inside him. Remus felt a strong need to leave the room, leave Lily, before he did anything dumb or heartsick or dangerous. Something like kissing that mark on her neck.

Feeling vulnerable, he put on his pajama top – although it struck him as an oddly shy thing to do, as Lily had seen him naked only this morning. But before he could button it, her arms were around him, her cheek pressed against his heart. As she clutched him, he felt a strange energy in her body, something powerful and incomprehensible brewing there. He had no choice but to wrap his arms around her and, as he did so, a hollow sob wracked her. He held onto her tightly, as if he were the only thing keeping her from slipping over an awful precipice. In his arms, however, her outburst dissipated quickly, as though his embrace had simultaneously caused and removed the tears at once; and she became still in his arms. They stood in silence, feeling the cold air on their arms and faces. He reached out with one arm and pulled the window closed, then embraced her again. The room was utterly silent except for the crackle of the fire in the hearth.

"Our secret meetings are far too full of tears," Remus muttered into the top of her head, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

"Yes," Lily agreed. Her stillness became rigid and she was silent for several seconds, as if she were steeling herself for something. "Maybe they're full of tears because they're secret."

There was no denying her intention this time. Remus's heart began to palpitate. One small hand squeezed his shoulder blade, almost unconsciously, it seemed. He gently pulled away from her, his hands still on her waist; he tried to see her eyes, but the moon was over her shoulder. The light played against the silvery down of her pale cheek, and he wanted to kiss it and never stop.

Remus pried the words from his lips. "We can't do this."

There was the briefest of pauses. "Why not?" she countered.

"Think about it," he whispered, dropping his hands.

"No."

"Come on, Lily."

"Say it, then," she demanded. Her hands went to her hips and she stared at him.

"It's too dangerous," Remus began.

"Bollocks. Not if we plan for it."

"It'll end badly."

"How do you know?"

"I'll hurt you. I already have."

"Stop it," she spat, looking away.

"And James is my best mate – "

"Yes, but –"

" – and he loves you."

The words tripped her, but only for a moment. "We could explain to him. Or just not tell him."

"He loves you." And Remus, thinking of James's tenderness with Lily tonight, registered that it was true. It was true; but Remus felt strangely unmoved by the realization. But you have to do the right thing, he demanded silently. The right thing …

"He doesn't own me," Lily glowered.

"He loves you, Lily." If I keep saying it, maybe she'll … But Remus didn't know exactly what he wanted her to do. He certainly didn't want her to believe him. "He's loved you for years." He felt like a broken record.

"So have you."

He almost heard a scratch on the record player inside his head.

Lily faced him squarely and waited. She wrapped her fingers through his and waited some more. He felt his hand begin to sweat. "Haven't you?"

Remus was motionless. So it all comes to this, he thought. At two o'clock in the morning, standing awkward and bleary-eyed in the moonlight at school, at last, at long last, a boy and a girl reach the inevitable stalemate – it seemed at once surreal and ridiculously ordinary. He had the power to determine the course of events, right now. One syllable, and a future with Lily could open before his weary eyes, but he could lose his only friends. Another syllable, he'd keep his friends, but lose his heart's most secret and unmerited desire. How easy would it be simply to tell his brain to deliver the correct word to his lips?

He took a breath.

"No," his mouth said.

The silence in the room was palpable.

Lily's gaze bored into his for a searing, furious moment. She turned on her heel to leave.

But his hand wouldn't let go of hers, and she stopped.

He watched her profile in the moonlight. How vulnerable it seemed. Quickly, all her anger melted away, all pretense of confidence slid from her face for one second as her breath shuddered from her nostrils. Her eyelashes fluttered closed, open. Her brow furrowed.

She turned toward Remus, and her eyes, glittering in the darkness, searched his. She inhaled slowly, thoughtfully, the sound of air whispering through her teeth. "You are a terrible liar," she murmured.

Lily was here. Choosing him. And he would have been a fool to let her go. "I know it," he said simply.

He stepped into her, feeling her warmth radiating into him even though they were centimeters apart. Moving slowly, as if in a dream, his left hand traced her jaw, and she grazed her lips across his fingers, allowing her cheek to find its resting place in his cupped palm. His free arm snaked its way around Lily's waist; he pulled her gently but snugly against him, and she inhaled sharply. His fingers slipped from her cheek toward the warm hair at the nape of her neck. Her head tilted back and she watched him through half-lidded eyes, a tentative smile playing at the corners of her lips.

Those lips were a breath away from his. But his conscience had to make a last-ditch effort. "This would kill James if he knew," he managed, breathing raggedly.

"I can keep a secret if you can." Her voice was low and serious, a simple challenge, an earnest request.

Last chance. "Lily, I'm a werewolf."

Her gaze softened, and her cool fingers found the scars on his face. "So I gathered."

"Do you have an answer for everything?" he whispered into her mouth.

Her lips darted away and she tickled his ear with her hot breath. "Only when I understand the question."

He spoke very quietly, his lips nearly touching her smooth cheek. "What was the question?"

"You've already asked it. And I've said yes. Or did you not notice?"

"Lily …" Brushing his lips across her cheek, he inhaled her scent, and delicious delirium overtook him. "Of course I noticed. I never stopped noticing."

She turned her head to meet his waiting lips and, somehow, subtly, everything shifted. Moonlight splashed though windows and splattered onto the stones at their feet, bright enough to singe closed eyelids, white as sunlight. Darkness embraced their bodies, as warm and velvety as a winter pelt. Blood coursed in new directions, toward each other, recognizing spaces that had yet to be filled. Remus barely moved, relishing the feel of Lily's pliant mouth against his, yielding and insistent all at once.

He opened his eyes and gently pulled his lips away. Her mouth followed his for a moment, as if it were reluctant to be without the warmth of his. Then Lily, too, opened her eyes. What he saw there was undeniable: This is what I want. How he knew it, he had no idea. He just knew. He felt a tiny smile reaching toward his cheeks, and his heart raced faster.

Remus lowered his head to hers again. He closed his eyes just as their lips met, and he felt himself falling, falling, in the most wonderful ways possible. His toes gripped the floor to keep himself from swaying on his feet. Slowly, he probed deeper, testing her resistance; and, finding none, he allowed himself to explore more fully. Each kiss was met with matching zeal. Each depth he plumbed revealed new sensations in his lips, his tongue, the palms of his hands, his body. Kissing had never felt like this before, and he couldn't help but wonder what other things might feel like with Lily. He let his fingers wander over her soft curves and was startled when he realized that her hands were beginning to range tentatively over his physique, as well. Inside his pajama top, her fingers traced his chest, his ribs, his abdomen. His skin felt electrified, and he nearly whimpered from the sensation.

He needed to feel the length of her body, and immediately. Grasping her tightly against him, he backed her toward the brown velvet couch in front of the fireplace. Placing one knee on the sofa, he lowered Lily down onto it, hovering over her for a moment, gazing at her pale, fine features, into her dark green eyes. Her hands were on his jaw and she regarded him with longing. A smoldering image burned into his mind – himself and Lily in bed together, her naked legs wrapped around him – and it was almost more than he could bear. He closed his eyes and the vision disappeared. He covered her mouth with his, his tongue winding wildly with hers, bodies pressed together. He felt a moan leave his lips and enter her mouth, muffled by her kisses. After a few minutes, she writhed underneath him, bucking him into motion. Gradually, their movements undulated like waves, and the waves felt unstoppable.

But he had to stop them. With a grand effort, Remus forced himself to sit up, knees in front of him. Panting, he backed against the arm of the couch and wiped his raw mouth on the back of his hand. Lily sat up facing him, breathing hard, her hands on the tops of his bare feet. A grin began to spread across his face. "I think we should take a break before our clothes come off and Mother Nature insists on my having my way with you right here in the Common Room."

Did I just say that? he thought in a rush of embarrassment. But Lily was unfazed; she wrinkled her eyes and let out a frustrated squeak, which made Remus want to fling her back on the couch and snog her senseless. She smiled, her cheeks flushed and rosy. He took her face in his hands and kissed her once, twice, again and again and again. She raked her fingers through his hair and pressed her body towards his, forcing his legs apart until their chests were together, and they kissed with renewed passion, hearts pounding fiercely. He slid down on the couch and wrapped a leg around hers, pulling her body closer with it. Her position of dominance whetted in him an overwhelming urge that he felt rather powerless to resist. His hands found her hips and he guided her movements until he thought he would go mad with desire. Finding the strength from somewhere, he gently pushed her away again and sat up once more.

When he gathered himself he spoke gently. "Let me be clear that I in no way want this to stop. However, I would like for us to have – " He paused and smiled, blinking thoughtfully as he realized what he was about to say.

"Something to look forward to?" Lily finished for him, her eyes watching him coyly.

The thought had entered his mind so fluidly, so naturally. Perhaps this thing – he and Lily – was possible. Remus took her hand, tangling his fingers into hers, and began to kiss each fingertip. "Yes," he whispered. Lily smiled.

"So be it." She paused and raised an eyebrow suggestively. "Spoilsport."

Suddenly they were snickering, and the supreme effort to keep quiet made them laugh all the more. Soon, however, kisses interspersed the stifled laughter, and before long all was silent in the Common Room once more, except for the popping of the fire and the occasional groan or sigh. Never had the passage of time felt so heady and sweet, each moment bringing a new discovery, a fantastic thrill to be savored. Now Remus began to take great delight in deducing which kisses pleased Lily best, which caresses (and where) elicited the deepest sighs, the most surprised gasps and unabashed moans. His own pleasure spiraled upward with every tiny vocalization and squirm she offered.

Remus felt utterly drunk. If Lily ran her hands over his hips or sucked on his lip once more, he was likely to lose control. He forced himself up onto both elbows and found that their nightclothes were drenched in sweat. Lily's lips were parted slightly as she tried to slow her breathing. Her cheeks wore a fevered flush, and her eyes flashed brilliantly. The lusty, unguarded gaze with which she fixed him tonight was one he had never seen before, and Remus decided then and there that he had to see that gaze as many times as she would allow. For now, though, he sat back to cool off and Lily sat facing him, knees drawn close, her toes covering his. Every nerve ending in his body screamed to touch her, and it was rather an exhilarating sensation to deny himself that pleasure. His entire being vibrated with an unrelenting, primitive curiosity about Lily that he sincerely hoped he could satisfy. But not tonight.

"We … should … go to bed," he said reluctantly. Lily's eyes widened playfully. "Sleep! Go to sleep, I meant to say."

She smiled, resting her chin on her knees. Her gaze became serious. "Stay," she whispered.

He cocked his head, tried to put on a chastising voice. "Lily …" But he felt himself crumbling already.

"No harm in it, right? Stay." She wrapped her arms around her knees and tilted her head, waiting.

He looked askance at her and smiled cheekily. "But we have classes in the morning – " Not to mention the fact that we might be discovered out here …

"Stay. Just stay." Lily placed a hand on his cheek, and he felt its soothing warmth as he buried his lips in it. "Let's sleep out here, Remus."

The fire was warm. The couch was comfortable. At this point, Remus probably would have done anything she asked. He pulled a blanket from the back of the sofa.

"For you, Lily …"

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: At last! I'm betting some of you have been waiting for this scene to finally happen. Please let me know what you think! All reviewers will receive a Common Room make-out session with the Remus of their choice. Up for grabs is Angst-Ridden Remus, Poetry-Quoting Remus, Sweetly Self-Effacing Remus, Remus-Who-Has-No-Earthly-Idea-How-Shaggable-He-Is, and any others you can dream up …