A/N: Day twenty-five. One of my better days, let's hope I can have better days for the rest of the month.
Here, she realises as she sips on tea with international criminals she's been actively seeking to destroy, is that the absurdity is strong here. It's so, so very strong and if it wasn't for her high tolerance for the absurdity then she'd be passed out on the floor by now.
"I am God." Pein intones, with a rather intense blank look in his ringed eyes of periwinkle. It feels both familiar and unfamiliar. "I will set the world right."
Konan, the only female of the Akatsuki as far as Sakura knows, slaps the back of the apparent Akatsuki leader like scolding a child. "That is not how you introduce yourself, Pein." the admittedly attractive woman reprimands, her voice soft but no less firm.
Jiraiya, who's being rather lackadaisical as he lounges on the other end of the couch they're occupying, bellows out a laugh. "So this is what happened to my deformed little Ame babies, oh, it's precious!" then he snorts into his tea and Sakura attempts to conceal her smile behind her own tea cup.
Konan bows her head and draws attention to the paper flower in her lapis-shaded hair. It's quite nice, actually. "I apologise. Pein is not good with strangers and he does not have many friends. Please do not mind him."
Pein simply turns to direct an empty stare at his teammate, or partner. She's not sure. "They must acknowledge my greatness, Konan. I must tell the world."
"They're everywhere…" Neji whispers to himself, his head in his hands from mild distress at the realisation that the Akatsuki are sort of dorks. Although, she's yet to meet all of them so their opinions might change.
Sai pats his brother on the back in consolation. "How it must hurt your naturally normalised nature, otouto." he remarks, with a tone that sounds so very insincere but also amused.
"You are making a terrible impression of yourself, Pein." Konan replies, turning away. "They must think you an idiot."
She can almost imagine a dramatic and highly offended gasp from Pein, but there's nothing. Clearly, Konan can see through the sheer nothingness as a slight smirk appears on her lips. How nice, that Pein has someone able to get past the intensity of his blank face and see his inner emotions.
"So, hey my adorably fucked orphans." Jiraiya puts his feet up on the coffee table, clearly rather comfortable with this situation. It's rather impressive, really. "Why are we here and what's it got to do with my crackhead babe that's stuck in this pink bundle of wonder?"
Sakura has the sudden realisation that he and Father would get along great. She has another realisation that it would also work with Shion there. Then she has another one, where Shisui joins in and she can see their day ending with a whole village decimated. Probably Konoha.
Konan's slight smirk disappears as she turns her gaze over to her former master. Teacher? "It is something we are not able to talk about, I apologise. You will simply have to put faith in us, to not put any of you in danger. Although…" her eyes slide to Sakura, in contemplation. "I am not sure about you. We will see."
Her brothers tense up at that, but she hums and leans back as she continues to drink her tea. It's quite nice, probably because it might actually be one of Father's brands.
"Can you tell us what Akatsuki's end goal is?" she tries, not exactly expecting much. She did hear the whole, 'I will make the world right' but that's rather vague as everyone's opinion of right is different.
Konan and Pein share a glance… or rather, they start a staring contest before Pein looks away in a manner she would interpret to be defeated. Konan's amber eyes settle on her, leaning forward the slightest.
"It is peace that we seek." the Akatsuki woman answers, setting down her tea cup. "There is always conflict, always suffering… We wish to stop that."
How idealistic, Sakura thinks with a good sense of cynicism running through her veins. She even hears Shion snort, but nothing more as her mental resident appears to be going through one of those 'I will tell my secrets when I want' phases. Sometimes, that means that Sakura is left in the dark for the most part.
Jiraiya audibly yawns as he props an elbow up on the arm rest of the couch. "Peace is all fun and dandy, kiddies, but it's not something that you can force onto people."
Konan's eyes darken. "It will be." is her ominous promise, before she turns to the new occupants of the rather large and surprisingly stylish lounge room. "Kisame. Welcome back. Where is Itachi?"
Sakura turns around, blinking when her eyes land on the giant blue man that resembles a shark. She remembers him from the Bingo Books and reports, but it's much different seeing him in reality. He's much taller than she thought he'd be.
Kisame shrugs his rather broad shoulders. "Off doing his own thing again, good riddance. Who are these fishes?" he meets her eyes, giving her a feral grin she supposes is meant to be intimidating.
She smiles back, prompting him to pause and blink at her. Then he squints, although it's a little strange since his eyes are so small. "Wait, I know you. You're one of the chicks in those creepy photos that Itachi has pinned to his walls."
Sai continues sipping on his tea as Neji whirls around to look at her like she's an aberration. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he demands, in such a way that would be more insulting if she didn't understand what he meant by the question. Thankfully for him, she does.
"I house a psychotic, eternal soul that forcefully makes friends with monsters… with some of them being horribly obsessive." she replies, in a tone much lighter than she's expecting.
The giant blue man whistles. "Your life must be fucked, angelfish." he remarks, and she gives him a certain look. He actually comes over and pats her shoulder in consolation. "It's okay, I understand. Itachi's a fucking nightmare to deal with, I would know since I'm his partner."
She squints at him, before patting his large hand. "How unfortunate." she murmurs, and surprisingly she does pity him.
"Stop making friends with strange people!" Neji hisses from her side. "Just stop!"
"You can't stop the absurdity, otouto." Sai replies with a smile. Shion cackles in her usual deranged manner.
She's somewhat surprised that her stay at the main Akatsuki base has been so pleasant, in a sense. It's a little jarring, considering that they're the enemy. Or they were enemy. She's not exactly sure at the moment, since the whole topic of loyalty is a little hard for her to wrap her head around. Team Yamaneko's never failed a mission, but is it because of loyalty to the village or because they didn't want to die via Shisui's wrath?
The latter, clearly.
Still, though. After about a week of playing a variation of games with Kisame, Pein, Konan, Jiraiya and her brothers, she has to ask when something is actually going to happen.
It's a question she asks Jiraiya, first and foremost since he's still technically their captain. He's lounging on the couch again, although she understands since it's actually quite a nice and comfortable couch. Sai's on another one, drawing in his sketchbook as Konan does origami next to him.
Neji seems to be the one who's having the hardest time adjusting, as usual. He's always been the most normal of them all, even if normality is mostly perception. At least he's trying, since even though they're in this situation he still plays card games with them all. He probably just doesn't want to be left out when everyone's playing, left to sulk in a corner.
"I guess until Shion gets her shit done." Jiraiya replies to be previous query, cracking his neck after yawning. She, in turn, yawns as well. "It's always best to just go with her flow even if it might be a little treasonous. She's always had ways to make the experience far less pleasant, if not."
Then he grins up at the ceiling, probably thinking of fond memories. "Although I've always thought it was strange that you resembled her so much, I never thought the reason why would be because she's in there with you." he turns back to her, his expression becoming a little more thoughtful. "I guess it was your personality that threw me off. I'd have thought that she would have made you have a similar personality as hers."
Sakura blinks, tilting her head in contemplation. "I don't think that'd be fun for her." she replies, honestly. "She's influenced me a lot, but she's also allowed me to grow in my own way. I think it's more interesting for her that way, especially since I'm more human than she is. She always enjoys sleeping a lot, so there's that as well."
Jiraiya grins. "I've got to say I'm impressed. Both with you and the fact that she's still plotting even long after her death. Orochimaru would throw a party if he knew she was still around." he soon cringes, looking to the side. "But he'd probably try to bring her back with some unfortunate means."
She hums. "I don't think the act of bringing back the dead comes without sacrifice." she murmurs, before taking heed of her own words and feeling something ominous lay in her gut.
"Yeah, you're right…" the toad Sannin looks down, uncharacteristically solemn. In the next moment he pipes up with, "Konan! Is there porn here, because I'm getting depressed and going through withdrawals!"
She frowns, before stepping away because it's obvious that the conversation is done. She heads off towards the kitchen, in search of the cereal that Kisame had been so kind to buy for her. Since they're still basically the Akatsuki's prisoners.
Then she makes an abrupt turn away just as she's about to enter the kitchen, because she doesn't want to deal with the thing inside there. It's too late, as he's blocked her path and giving her some kind of wolfish and leering grin. Would anyone be angry if she tries to behead him, she wonders?
"Hey, there bubblegum." the one whom she knows to be Hidan greets her. "I'm a pretty shit chakra sensor, but I have an amazing knack for sensing the fucking agonised and tortured soul inside of you!"
Sakura blinks in mild confusion. "I'm not sure how to respond to that, so I hope that you can just… go away to save me the trouble." she replies, unsure of whether she should smile or not. The smiling might make it seem like she's being sassy and she's not sure if he's into that or not.
Hidan's eyes are the shade of eggplant, she notes as they widen to a worrying degree. She's not sure if she should be disappointed or relieved to know that it simply doesn't compare to how Shion's eyes usually are. Or Shisui's, for that matter.
"Jashin-sama says there's something really fucked up about you, sweetcheeks." he leans forward, so she leans back without fully taking a step back. It never really works out, anyway. "He can't figure it out, but he and I both know that you'd be the best goddamn fucking sacrifice. So how about it? Want to fight and have a wonderful experience of pain and suffering together?"
She quickly steps aside as Hidan's kicked into the farthest wall and his masked partner reveals himself in the archway.
"Would you stop being an annoyance?" Kakuzu sneers with his deep and particularly rumbly voice. Then he turns to her, his peculiar eyes flickering to the higanbana on her head then to the seal on her forehead. She feels like this has happened before, as she notes that he's unusually tall. "You…"
"Me." she replies, with her frown deepening. She just wants cereal, is that so difficult to get?
Hidan curses as he attempts to dislodge himself from the wall, which actually appears to be rather sturdy. Since it's only cracked and has a Hidan crater rather than having crumbled into rubble.
Kakuzu squints at her. "No. You're not her." he says, though mostly to himself as he then walks away. Because apparently he had no other reason to be there than to kick Hidan in the back.
Sakura ignores Hidan as she gets her cereal and dumps far more sugar than usual in the bowl, as a bad attempt to help her deal with this. At least she hasn't fainted.
She's walking down one of the many halls of the Akatsuki base when someone wearing an orange mask turns the corner, and she realises that she doesn't recognise that person from any of the reports or Bingo Books. The man turns towards her, then startles her when he legitimately shrieks and jumps back quite a ways away in fright.
Too surprised to really do much, she stares at him as he literally cowers in a corner. When nothing really changes for a good thirty seconds, she takes a tentative step forward and he flinches. Then he starts to mutter to himself, almost inaudible until she's close enough to hear.
"Tobi Tobi's sorry, Tobi Tobi's sorry, Tobi Tobi's going to make it right, please!" he chants, over and over again in a strangely high and childish voice. "Tobi Tobi's nearly ready, Tobi Tobi shouldn't have hallucinations anymore, Tobi Tobi's relapsing no!"
"Leave him." Shion snarls, in such a way that Sakura flinches back and immediately obeys.
She glances back at the cowering man, who remains as such when she turns the corner and leaves his field of view. There are so many questions, but she doubts that any of them will be answered so she doesn't ask.
Konan is teaching Sai how to make origami when she finds them in the lounge, and by the looks of it he's doing rather well. Sakura thinks it must be nice to be with a fellow artist, even if said artist is a terrorist intent of forcing peace onto the entire world.
Neji's meditating in a corner, but appears to be struggling as Jiraiya's purposefully perched by him as he reads some kind of porn book. It must be the disturbingly high-pitched giggling that's getting to him.
"Are you sure that Tsunade wouldn't be worrying about us by now?" she queries, approaching her brother and current captain then crouching down. Neji finally gives up, his shoulders slumping and his eyes opening to look at her. She smiles, before running her fingers through his hair.
He frowns, but he's secretly pleased.
"I've already sent a message saying we'll be a while," Jiraiya casually replies, turning the page of his book, "she'll be pissed but she should understand that some missions just don't go as planned."
Neji scoffs and mutters something she can't decipher under his breath. He must still be stressed, since he brought his spare brush and it just doesn't have the same feeling when she uses it to brush his hair every night. She tries not to smile, because he's rather perceptive of her types of smiles.
"I suppose that's fine, then." she responds to Jiraiya, deciding not to ask about the man with the orange mask. Even though Shion generally lets Sakura seek the answers herself without interfering, something about this feels wrong and touchy to ask about.
There's also some thought that Jiraiya doesn't even know himself, since they may have been friends but Shion's rather secretive about many things.
It's in the middle of the night when she jumps awake, sensing a familiar signature walking together with another familiar but less likeable signature. There's also two unfamiliar signatures and one that's only vaguely familiar.
Sai and Neji both sit up, having noticed her abrupt movement. They glance to one another, before moving to get dressed and see what's going on.
They make their way towards the large area that Pein calls his meeting area, with her realising that everyone including Jiraiya seems to be converging there. Her eyes immediately settle on Kakashi, whose shoulders are slumped and he looks so very tired and resigned.
He turns to her, visually perking up a bit when he sees her before deflating once more.
"What the fuck is he doing here, yeah?" Shion growls, and Sakura realises with a mild panic that this isn't part of Shion's plan. "What the actual fucking fuck, that fucking little shit!"
Standing beside Kakashi is Orochimaru, and two other men whom she doesn't recognise. One of them looks like he's been put under a genjutsu. Itachi is there, smiling that terrible smile like he's about to receive something absolutely wonderful and fantastic. The man with the orange mask mutters in the corner, incomprehensible before he makes the sudden movement of standing
"Tobi Tobi's glad you could make it, Kakashi Bakashi!" Tobi Tobi, apparently, greets with so much bounce in his demeanour as he spins around. "Things will be fixed and then Tobi Tobi doesn't have to feel guilty anymore! Everything will be fine! Tobi Tobi will fix this, then Tobi Tobi will fix the world!"
Kakashi turns to Tobi Tobi. "You better do it right… Tobi…" he answers, his voice hoarse.
"What. Fucking what. That shit turd of a silver bun came here willingly?!" Shion screeches and Sakura feels panic starting to drown her a little faster now.
"Why are you here, Kakashi?" she questions him, watching as her turns to face her. His eyes are back to their melancholic, hurt puppy look and she doesn't really know what's going on. She has theories but she doesn't want them to be real. It's a shame that it's highly likely to be real.
He walks towards her, then embraces her. When she wraps her arms around him in return, she realises that this hug feels a lot like the first hug she gave him when they first met. There's a stabbing sensation in her heart, and it hurts.
"I'm here to get her back… I'm sorry, Sakura…" he murmurs with a concealed smile, before releasing her and walking back as they begin to prepare some kind of ritual. Or a seal. She doesn't recognise it.
Sai and Neji shift at her sides. "I do not think this will end well…" Sai whispers to her, and she nods but she doesn't know what to do. Even though Kakashi's here and that seems to be against Shion's interests, the rest has to be a part of her plans.
The woman herself mutters and hisses, until she heaves a deep sigh in an attempt to calm herself. "Fuck it, yeah. I'll just add it onto my little fucking list… Fucking killing one of my favourite pets, the dicknozzles. Fucking told the cunt not to touch him, yeah. I'll teach him he's not as untouchable as he thinks he is…"
"Shouldn't we do something?" Neji mutters to her, obviously as discomforted with the implication of the situation as she is.
She frowns, but shakes her head once. "It was his choice." she replies, even though she feels that peculiar feeling of devastation settling in her chest. She doesn't like it very much, she thinks.
In fact, she doesn't think she likes it at all.
Chapter Word Count: 3,239
Total Word Count: 80,977
Targeted Word Count: 0
A/N: Do you see where it's heading? I hope so, because it's pretty obvious. At least, in my opinion. My vague plans are coming to fruition, but you may feel a little conflicted about them. Like how Shion might make you feel, maybe. I'm pretty excited that we're finally here, though. It's been stressful, but I'm pretty proud of myself for getting this far. Once again, thank you all for being here.
Reviews are love. Reviews are life. It's never ogre.