24. Revenge

A/N – Hi everyone – don't faint, but it's another update! I hoped you liked the last chapter – I hadn't realised that Into Darkness came out in the UK before many other places, so apologies if you had to had to use some self-control and not read it (and kudos to you). This unfortunately isn't the most action packed of chapters (I also hate filler chapters, but they're necessary for the storyline and character development) – however the action is back from the next one. Joanna is about to deal with the aftermath and a whole lot of awkwardness! Thanks for reading.

And all this talk of

Having you around

Has knocked me right off course

And at the edge of the map

So take a minute to

Gather this thought alone

I love your lightning

Bolts

Lightning Bolts - Iko

"Tickle us, do we not laugh? Prick us, do we not bleed? Wrong us, shall we not revenge?" – General Chang, Star Trek VI

Joanna was swimming, clawing her way to the surface. Darkness was dragging her back down but she fought it with all she had. Occasionally she heard murmured words around her, but they were garbled and detached as she was sucked back into nothing to fight the battle again.

"Jim." She eventually managed to gasp his name. She felt hot hands on her face and knew it was him. He was safe. She could fight no more, and let the darkness take her.

Awareness seeped back slowly. She was warm. She basked in it for a while, not ready to awaken. However, it was just a matter of time. Memories seeped back into her consciousness, hot balls of hurt that she didn't have the strength to push away. A girl... A red light... The cold... She tried to move her arms and realised she couldn't, that she was in pain, and then she panicked.

"Easy, Sassy. It's okay." Jim's voice penetrated her mind.

She struggled to open her eyes, gasping for breath. It was dark in the room and she was completely disorientated. Were it not for Jim's presence next to her she would have fallen into full-out terror.

"It's alright. You're safe. Go back to sleep." His voice was soothing, and his body was warm next to her. She couldn't think straight. There was something... something important...

She felt him stroke her hair. His face was next to hers but she couldn't make it out in the darkness. "Jim?"

"That's me."

"Where...? What...?"

"Later. Hy'Lar gave me orders to make sure you sleep."

"He's safe?"

"Yes."

The fear in her chest was easing as she tried to remember. Her mind was thick, like treacle, and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. The girl. The girl with that tattoo down her neck.

"Adigeon..."

"What?"

"I need... to go back to Adigeon."

She felt Jim frown. "We'll talk about that later."

"No." Time was running out. She had no choice. "Please Jim. Please..." The darkness reached out to take her. She was so tired of fighting.

She felt him stroke her face. "Alright. Go back to sleep Joanna." And then there was nothing.

When she next awoke her mind was clearer, more like herself again. Everything came back instantly. Somehow she was alive. Jim had found her in time. She opened her eyes into darkness, poking her memories like a sore tooth. She knew she should feel glad. All she felt was the sickness in the pit of her stomach, the memory of another close call and a lonely death. It hadn't happened. There was no use obsessing over it – especially when there were many other things that were more pressing. But there was the face of that girl – the girl she couldn't save.

She catalogued her injuries. Her arms and legs ached so deeply that she wasn't sure she was going to be able move any time soon – she'd exhausted all her reserves. That was unfortunate. She knew she needed rest, and rest was the last thing she'd be able to get at the moment. Maybe if there weren't a few hundred people out to kill her and the most important meeting of her life in three days... Maybe not.

"You know, you did tell me you weren't going to be jumping off anything else this trip." Jim's voice arose from somewhere to her left. She managed to turn her head and saw him seated in a chair, legs propped up on her bed. "Then again I should have known you wouldn't be able to resist."

She attempted a smile. "I think I said I wouldn't be jumping off anything with you." Her voice was hoarse, and she immediately started to cough. Damn, it felt like she'd swallowed knives.

"Here." He passed her a glass of water. She moved to take it, but her hand shook so badly that she'd spilt half the contents without managing to secure the cup. Damn it. She had no time for weakness – especially in front of Jim.

Jim made no comment, something that she was immeasurably grateful for, and instead sat on the bed next to her and helped her to sip it.

"What happened?" She asked when he'd carefully sat her back.

He stretched out on the bed next to her, hands behind his head. "Hy'Lar got intercepted by a clean-up crew. They saw he was on the way to get someone, so he had no choice but to let them pick me up. We overpowered them and came to get you. That's about the run of it."

She remembered the icy cold. The girl. "I thought I was dead."

"You had no pulse when we pulled you out. If it hadn't been for the cold you might have been." He sounded unusually serious, strained.

The irony of owing her life to the cold didn't escape her. "Well, thank you – for saving me." It seemed grossly inadequate.

"No problem."

They sat in silence for a moment in the darkness, a strange tension between them. He'd kissed her, she suddenly realised. And it had been a good kiss. A really, really good kiss – but then of course Jim was a good kisser. It wasn't as if he hadn't had enough practice. After all, Jim had kissed... more than kissed... more women than she'd probably seen in her life. It didn't mean anything. Jim kissing a woman couldn't mean anything when it was as common place as him getting dressed in the morning. That derailed her thoughts suddenly.

"I'm naked under here, aren't I?"

"Yep." He sounded awkward, which just made her awkward. She was expecting some blasé comment. Unless...

"Did you...?" Please say it hadn't been him that had undressed her.

"Yes."

She fought off a groan. He'd seen her naked. She suddenly felt very self-conscious. Given its current condition, her body was the last thing she wanted him to see – not that she'd ever live up to every other woman he'd ever... Hell, no, she wasn't going there. She prayed he'd been too distracted to see her tattoo. She didn't regret it, but he might wrongly interpret it... or rightly interpret it. She wasn't sure which was worse. Besides, it was hardly like Jim thought of her like that. One kiss with the only woman he'd been around in days did not mean anything – and it had been part of their cover, at least in the beginning. She had been without Human contact for far too long, adding unnecessary significance to everything. Not that she liked the idea of him undressing her. Alright, that was untrue – but in her girlish fantasies when he'd undressed her she'd been awake at the very least.

"Well this is embarrassing." She finally muttered.

"I didn't look." He pointed out. Really? Because that was not the Jim she knew. She fixed him with a sceptical look in the darkness and he laughed uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright, I looked. Only for a second. Then I remembered you were..." He trailed off.

"I was what?"

"You." He finished, and her heart sunk even lower. This was what happened when she allowed herself to let a kiss side-track her. The problem was that when a memory became the one thing that caused you to fight to live, you couldn't help but add a significance to it, however inappropriate. Don't be an idiot, she told herself.

She cleared her throat, forced herself to remedy the situation. "Well... I suppose I can't really get my knickers in a twist when I'm not wearing any."

Jim burst into laughter, and the tension was immediately gone. "And I would add that the circumstances were extenuating."

"Really? Because I do recall, Kirk, you telling me that the only time you'd undress me was if I was on fire."

Jim grinned. "So I did. A clear oversight on my part. I honestly couldn't think of another decent reason to undress you at the time. Clearly I underestimated you." His tone became more serious. "I've always been far too short-sighted when it came to you, Sassy. I never seem to see what's coming until it hits me."

She felt his eyes on her in the darkness, but had no idea of the expression they read. "Well welcome to my world. We can't all be geniuses, a step ahead of the game."

He smiled at her. "I don't know, you seem to be doing alright."

"No, I'm not." She had, after all, been forced to jump into an icy ocean, rather than be captured. That was not the sort of forethought she usually applied to a situation. She liked to plan. "I would have died if you hadn't found me." And that scared her. She had to rely on herself, had to save herself. Depending on people got you killed. And yet he saved her again. "How did you find me?"

Jim shrugged. "We scanned the surface."

She frowned at him, mind quickly considering this. "There's no way you found me on scanners. Hy'Lar couldn't lock on to us to transport because of the interference." She turned and studied his face in the dim light of the streaming stars. He was looking at the ceiling. He was avoiding telling her something. She knew Jim's body language better than her own. "How did you find me Jim?"

"I got lucky."

That's what he'd said before, when he'd found her on Jaros. And he'd told her he'd used his tricorder... only he wasn't carrying a tricorder. She knew that – if he'd had one he'd have used it on Omicron. She was an idiot. How could she have missed something so important? This was what happened when she allowed him to distract her. Antonia would have never missed something so obvious. She would have never allowed herself to be distracted by emotions. She had been right to be suspicious. Jim had conveniently found her, first on Adigeon, then Jaros, and now Omicron. Had he lied about not being involved? She was sure he hadn't, but he was Starfleet and had his own code of conduct. She felt a sudden need to flee, to put some distance between them, but her immobility meant she couldn't. Instead she spoke the conclusion she'd inevitably come to.

"You bugged me." She sounded hurt. She was hurt, and she was still too vulnerable to disguise it.

He turned on his side to face her. "It wasn't like that, Sassy."

"Then what the hell was it like?"

He reached out, under the covers, and before she'd even attempted to defend herself he'd taken her necklace in his hand. The necklace. She remembered what she'd seen. Of course. She was an idiot.

"You can track me using it?" Her voice was small.

"Yes." Hell, how long had he been using it for? Since she was a child? He hadn't told her what it really was – just elicited a promise from her that she wear it, and she hadn't asked, sure that she could find its secrets herself. But now a great many situations from her past made sense. And made her feel... cared for.

She took it from his hand and studied it in the darkness as she recalled every detail of it in her mind. "It glowed red."

"It does, when you hit it with the right wavelength of radiation." He'd told her that before, hadn't he?

"No before... There was a girl... an Omicron girl..." The girl she could not forget, despite the pain it caused to her chest. She could never forget. Her memory was her curse.

"When?"

"On the surface. She was a survivor." She swallowed. "She couldn't swim and when the storm got bad I couldn't..." She forced the words out. "It was too cold. She slid out of my arms and I couldn't get to her."

"I'm sorry." His voice was sincere and she felt the tears come to her eyes. Glad of the darkness she choked them back. Jim didn't like tears.

She shut her eyes and continued. "She whistled and it glowed."

"Whistled?"

"Yes. I'd show you but I don't think I can whistle at the moment." She glanced up at him. His eyes were unwaveringly on her face. "Where did you get it from?"

"You know where Joanna." She did – she remembered that time. She remembered every detail. His pain. The dead woman. Her own fears. That seemed like a long time ago. She'd been so young. So naive.

"I do. But where did you get it from? I always assumed that you'd picked it up on your travels and given it to her."

Jim shook his head. "You were the only person I gave it to." His voice was soft. "She... well it's complicated but she meant for me to have it. I'd seen something similar before and when I saw her wearing it I wanted to know what it was. She didn't have many answers for me. The stones are rare, even on her planet. When she died... she made it clear to her people that I was to have it."

There was pain in his eyes, even now. She reached out with a shaking hand and took his. "But why did you give it to me?" There were plenty of easier ways to bug her.

She felt him take a slow breath. "Well... there was someone that I needed to make sure would never have it. By giving it to you I thought I'd protect it from them. But it made no difference in the end." He watched her, his eyes full of something complex in the darkness that made her blood sing and her heart beat.

"That's a very cryptic answer." She gave him a soft smile.

"I've been learning from the best." He grinned but even in the darkness she could see his eyes didn't reflect it. "Frustrating, isn't it?"

"Yes." She didn't push for answers. She could see he'd give her none. Some things Jim wasn't willing to talk about – whilst sober at any rate. She had been wrong to doubt him. But she was so scared of what he would do if he found out what she knew. "I will tell you everything Jim." She promised him, surprising herself.

"But not now?"

"No. I have to do something first."
"Hence our trip to Adigeon again?"

"Yes."

"Well I can wait until then." He smiled slightly. "I'm glad that you've decided I've got no evil intentions again."

"I'm sorry." She shut her eyes. "But I don't know who to trust anymore. There's so much riding on this, Jim."

"And there are so many people trying to kill you."

"That too." And she was scared. Really scared that she would fail.

He reached over and wrapped an arm across her chest, hugging her close. "I can't make you believe it, Sassy, but you can trust me."

"I know I can." There was that electricity that was always there when she was close to him, like lightning. But despite, or perhaps because, of its presence she felt comfortable in his arms. She trusted this man with her life. Perhaps not with many other things, including her heart, but certainly with her life. They were silent for a while, content. "You know, you really are very warm."

He held her closer for a moment and she smiled into his chest. "I have to say that's usually not the response I get when I'm holding a woman."

"Well I'm trying to focus on your redeeming qualities."

She felt him chuckle and it filled her with warmth. "I have numerous, I assure you. However I don't think you're physically fit for them."

She laughed. Jim's fake flirting was always a reality-check. "Thank goodness."

"Certainly not a typical response either. I'm going to have to teach you, before you let down the entirety of femininity. You know, most women would love to be undressed by me."

"Most women are conscious when you undress them."

"Touché." He finally released her and sat up again. "Now you should probably drink something. All this talking will be hurting you. Salt water does nasty things to your throat."

She wasn't sure she wanted to know how he'd found that one out, but allowed him to help her sip water. When she'd had her fill he laid her back down and gave her an expectant look. "I do have one question for you, Joanna, that's driving me insane."

"Really? Just one?"

"Well, plenty fit that bill, but the one that's annoying me the most at any rate. Can I ask it?"

"I can't stop you."

"You could, you know. With just a word." His voice had taken on that familiar sound.

She smiled. "Quit trying to be charming and just ask."

"How did you get your Vulcan headteacher to owe you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's your burning question?"

"Spock's one of my best friends and he's never owed me anything. He can talk his way out of most things. In fact, come to think of it, I usually owe him. What the hell did you do?"

"I saved his life."

Jim studied her face. "Saved his life? Is that all? I've saved Spock a few times and never had that response. Not that he wouldn't do the same for me."

"Well, all people are different."

"Not if they're obey the laws of logic. The Vulcans pride themselves on uniformity."

She would have pointed out that Spock was only half-Vulcan, but knew she was fighting a losing battle. "Well, the circumstances were somewhat... awkward. I was the only one around who could really help him – and I didn't have to."

The look of dawning comprehension on Jim's face was amusing. "Wait a minute... Are you saying-."

"He was going through his Pon Farr."

Jim let out a sharp breath, knowing instantly what that meant. "You are joking. Seriously, please tell me you're joking. With your headteacher? I mean... I know it was to save him, but... He's... well he's over a hundred years old." There was such a look of shock on Jim's face that she laughed again.

"I've never had a problem with age..."

He turned to study her, face very serious. "Really, did you do that?"

The expression in his eyes made her instantly stop teasing. "No. I didn't sleep with him." They had come close, at one point, as she struggled for control, but that would have been too far, even for her eighteen year old self. "I melded with him. I had some experience in controlling my own emotions, and knew how to guide him through it." She'd done something similar before – but hadn't quite appreciated that as a Vulcan aged their emotions only grew stronger. It had been one of the most difficult things she'd ever done. But despite the danger posed to them both she couldn't abandon him, couldn't watch him lose the dignity that she'd always respected. It had almost torn her mind apart. And that was why he owed her.

"Well..." Jim's eyes still studied her. "I suppose Spock's never going to owe me that favour."

"I don't know... an away mission at just the wrong time..."
"That's not even funny."

"It is a bit."

"You have a sick sense of humour."

"Then why are you smiling?"

And he was, those blue eyes, almost black in the starlight, warm. "Because you always seem to manage to make me, kid."

"Don't call me kid."

"Alright, Sassy." He reached out and traced her face and she felt her heart beat stutter as the electricity sparked. She was suddenly very, very aware that she was naked under a sheet and he was close. She had no idea how he did that, making her weak with just a touch, or a smile or a look. Good grief, you would think she'd be used to it – she'd known him for long enough. He leaned in closer and just when she thought he was going to kiss her, and she wasn't sure whether she wanted it again or not, but couldn't do much about it in her current state irrelevant, he pulled away. And she felt... disappointed.

"I should let you rest, Joanna. I need to take over from Hy'Lar."

"Alright." She said softly. This was insane. She was insane. She needed to get used to having him around. She couldn't let him wreck her emotions, her control, the way she was. The problem was he was... Jim.

He stood, stretched and turned from her to the door. But he paused in the doorway, back to her. "Just so we're clear, Joanna, you are going to tell me what you're planning to do on Adigeon – before you do it." It was his captain's voice – a voice that was hard to disobey.

She felt her heart sink – because her plan was still a bit sketchy at present but she was fairly sure he wasn't going to like it. "Alright." She agreed slowly. She'd have to convince him somehow. Because she was going to do this. The girl – all the people on that planet that had been killed – she would make sure they weren't forgotten. And to do that, she needed information.

She slept again for a while. When she awoke she forced herself to plan. It was frustrating without a PADD and her notes but she didn't dare try and get up yet – not if she was going to pull this off. She pulled her mind inwards, forcing into well-known forms. Once she was calm and remote and processed all she had last seen. There was a great deal. Then she considered what she might do. She would have to play with what she had – which admittedly wasn't a great deal. She assessed her body. Her arms felt stronger – she could lift a hand to her face now. In a few hours she might be able to walk – though if it came to a fight she'd be up the creek without a paddle as grandma would say, and considering what she was planning there was invariably going to be a fight on her part. She would have to be smart. Play to her strengths. And she had leverage – it would be enough to see her through this.

A nag to her senses told her she was being watched and she looked up into Hy'Lar's waiting eyes.

"Forgive me. You were meditating."

"It's alright." She smiled at her friend. He was carrying a steaming bowl of what appeared to be soup. "Actually you were just the person I wanted to see. Did you manage to retrieve my bag?"

"Yes. It is in the holding bay."

Good. That was good. Her lenses were gone in the water, but she'd still have the PADDs. She'd need to copy them when she next had a moment. And she'd need to report something to her handler as to why she'd lost the lenses and been out of contact. That was going to take some careful engineering. He was smarter than her, and could spot a lie from another quadrant. It was why she didn't make a habit of lying to him. Then she realised belatedly that she was speaking to her friend in entirely the wrong order.

"I'm glad you're alright, Hy'Lar. I was worried when I saw the sign."

"I was also concerned. You were very close to death when the captain brought you out of the ocean. We were both concerned you might not pull through."

"Luckily for me I had you."

"Perhaps." He approached closer and took the chair next to her bed. "Was it worth it?"

"Yes. I think so."

He nodded his understanding. One of the things she liked about him was he never judged her. Questioned her regularly, gave his opinions, but never judged her. "Your body has been severely stressed. You will not recover immediately."

"I know. But I don't have much time to rest. I need to get to Adigeon before my target escapes."

Hy'Lar nodded and began to feed her soup in that subtle way of his that meant she hadn't realised she was eating it until she was.

"We took hostages."

"Is that so?" She gave him the courtesy of not judging him back – Hy'Lar had promised he would never torture again and she believed him. Considering he was an empath he had plenty of other ways of removing information from people. She focused on trying to swallow the soup. It was Starfleet rations. She hated rations. "What did you find?"

"Very little. Many of the workers had been hired via Trasta – the sort of people that few would notice when they disappeared. They were told they were working on something to bring down the Federation – and I think most saw the ships and inferred it was going to be some sort of war. The ships themselves interested them – I believe they require little crew and have an impressive arsenal. Certainly they seem to be more advanced than any ship I'm familiar with in Starfleet – but the captain could tell you more."

The captain... "When did you work out who he was?" She asked.

"Moments after our meeting. Most people in my profession have come across Captain Krik and his ship at some point."

"Your past profession." She softly corrected him. She attempted to defend Jim from the conclusions that she knew the man would invariably take. "He's different from most Starfleet captains, you know."

"So I have gathered."

She studied him thoughtfully. Considering what he'd said in the past, that was almost praise. "Well, that is an improvement."

"I have resigned myself to his presence. He did save your life."

He had. Multiple times. She moved back to the more important subject. "The ships – did they look like Starfleet vessels to you?" They had to her, and yet... not quite. She hadn't realised until she'd gone back and looked at the memory. She'd been too shocked at the time. But now she could clearly see the differences. Starfleet vessels were not built for war – to defend themselves, yes, but not for war. The Enterprise was slim and elegant. It was built for exploration - speed and sustainability on deep space missions. These had been... well chunky.

"In general form, yes. But in most other ways, no. There would be no mistaking them for Starfleet vessels." He agreed. They'd built something similar but distinct. That was disturbing.

"Did they know their destination?"

"No. They think they're grouping at the same place but they had no coordinates."

"I suppose I would have been suspicious if they had known."

"Indeed. The investors of these ships have gone to great lengths to cover their tracks." He frowned. "Your impending meeting is becoming increasingly dangerous Joanna. Perhaps you should-."

"No." Her voice was firm, and she hastened to gentle it. "No. This is my only way in."

"Given what you've seen do you think they will trust you?"

"No. But I think I can make them want me."

The Mazarite sighed and placed the empty bowl next to the bed. "I'm not even convinced you know who they are."

"Nor am I." She said honestly. Because this was more than the Syndicate. This was something... else. It was as her instincts had been telling her. So she would trace it to the top, as Breakwater had. Only what he'd found was so bad, so terrible that he'd done the unthinkable. "Did you manage to find who had taken out the contract on me?"

Hy'Lar shook his head. "I have a lead – but he will only speak face to face."

Damn. She hadn't planned for that. "When can you do it?"

"As soon as possible."

"Alright." She would have to modify things a bit.

"We have dropped out of warp." Hy'Lar pointed out after a moments silence.

She felt her heart beat in panic. She thought she had more time. Well there was nothing for it.

"We're here." Jim came and stood in the doorway. He looked tired but he gave her a smile that made her heart beat painfully. She was too stressed to return it. Adigeon Prime was not a place she'd ever wanted to return to. There were an army of people there just waiting for the chance to kill her. And it would still be raining. But today she was out of choices. And that was damn stupid.

"How long until someone starts noticing a Vulcan ship in orbit?" Adigeon was not the place to bring a Vulcan ship. It was like waving latinum in front of a Ferengi.

"Thirty minutes, tops. What's the plan?"

Well there was nothing for it. "I need to get information from Dram Sarkat." She also needed to teach him what happened when he didn't take care of his belongings.

"Right." Jim had his captain face on still. "Do I know who that is?"

"The Cardassian you met at the bar."

"Ah, him." Something flickered across his face, but it was gone again.

"Why him?" Hy'Lar asked softly. "I believe you previously thought he was not highly ranked in the Syndicate."

She shook her head. "He isn't – not in the Syndicate. But he's involved with the ships. I met..." She couldn't talk about the girl again. Not if she wanted to keep this tight hold on herself. "I saw his mark."

Jim looked sceptical. "And you think that he's just going to tell you everything?"

"Don't be ridiculous. He won't tell me anything. He's a Cardassian. They carry everything they can't memorise on their person."

"Within their armour." Mazarite pointed out.

"Yes."

"And how, exactly are you planning to get into his armour?" Jim looked serious.

She shrugged. "I'm going to seduce him."

There was silence. Jim had gone still and Hy'Lar looked genuinely concerned.

"Joanna – you are currently in a weakened state." The Mazarite began. "You understand..."

"Yes. I understand exactly what seducing a Cardassian involves." She kept the bitterness from her voice. She had no choice. She needed the information he would have – she hoped he had because she sure as hell didn't know where to go next if he didn't. She would get revenge for the people who'd killed an entire species. And the only thing she had on the man, the only thing that he might want, was Antonia. "I can do this. I want you to take the ship – it's attracting too much attention here. Find your informant, then meet me in twenty-four hours."

"Very well." He clearly wasn't happy with her plan, but at least he agreed. He knew how important this name would be to her.

Jim still hadn't said anything. She wondered how the hell was going to convince him to go with Hy'Lar. "Jim, I need you to-."

"No." His voice was soft, but his eyes were hard. Damn. "There is no way you can seduce the Cardassian."

She bristled. He thought she couldn't do it? Well perhaps Joanna couldn't, but Antonia could. "Yes I damn well can. He's hardly the first man I've seduced." A look passed across his face, but it was instantly gone again.

"Perhaps, but you can barely stand."

"I'll manage. I am doing this Jim."

"Right. You'll just proposition him into bed. You forget he's on Adigeon. There are plenty of hookers."

She felt like he'd slapped her. Naturally he believed no man would ever select her above other beautiful women. She was just a little girl to him. Reassuring anger filled her veins but she kept control carefully. "The only reason he's interested in Antonia is because she keeps work and play separate. She's a challenge to him – something he wants to possess. You'd know all about that."

A touch of darkness flickered across his face, but his expression remained blank. "So you'll sleep with him to get to the information he has?"

"If I have to, yes. Damn it Jim, don't judge me. I use what I have. It's hardly like you've never done it before."

His face was stony. "True." He watched her with an unreadable expression for a moment. "Well, then I'm coming."

This was exactly what she didn't want to happen. "Don't be an idiot. He's knows your face, Jim. It's not safe for you."

"Because it's going to be a walk in the park for you." He muttered. "The reason I'm coming is because he's seen my face. He'll recognise me from the bar – and instantly identify me as the enemy. Jealousy is a powerful tool, Joanna."

"So what? Assuming that he doesn't shoot you immediately you're going to try and seduce me?" That was not what she had expected. It was a bad, bad idea.

He smiled slightly. It didn't reach his eyes. "I won't try. We both know I'm good at it. But obviously, the aim is for the Cardassian to win."

"Well that won't be hard." Jim. Seducing her – the Antonia her. There was everything wrong with the images that evoked. She didn't want Jim anywhere near Antonia. "And what if they recognise you as a Federation captain?"

"Well, that's a chance I'm willing to take – assuming you leave me with a phaser this time."

No. No, she didn't want this. She was not one of those women that was seduce by Jim. "I can do this without you."

"Maybe you could. But less than a day ago your heart stopped – so you're going to need all the help you can get. You hardly look the part." He glanced down her body and she looked down at herself in the bright light and saw the bruising on her arms. She felt another flicker of hurt despite the truthfulness. But she forced herself to look rationally, past the anger. Like it or not, it would increase her chances – assuming they let Jim live long enough. But there were implications of being seen with Jim. What if they realised he was Starfleet? What if they thought their second meeting wasn't coincidental? But damn – she needed that information. And she needed the Cardassian undressed for it. Even that thought made her internally shudder. How the hell was she going to do this?

"Fine." She added the new variable into her plan. "There's a locker near where you met me – in a bar opposite the meat market. The code is Delta four nine five six. I need you to beam the contents to me. Sarkat is at the Borealis Hotel, in the Judicial district. There's a party this evening that I'm sure he'll be attending. It's hosted by some of the key political players on the planet, and Sarkat has to make nice so they turn a blind eye to his business. It's our only chance – the only time we can be sure where he'll be, so we can't screw this up. We'll obviously arrive separately. When I've left with Sarkat there's an unused room I have at the Jariot hotel – under the name Marlena Moreau. I'll meet you there when I'm done."

"I'm supposed to just wait for you?" He didn't look amused.

"Yes. That's exactly what you're meant to do."

"And if you get into trouble?"

"I'll deal with it. I mean it Jim – you will put me in far more danger if you interfere."

He sighed. "Are you sure we couldn't just kidnap him and use Hy'Lar's... skills?"

"I need my cover intact. So no." The thought had, fleetingly, occurred to her of course.

He nodded. His face was captain-like again. "Alright then. I'd better get going before we get boarded." He gave her a fleeting smile that made her heart... hurt. "I put your knives by your bed."

She glanced at the table and found he had indeed – stacked in a rather impressive pile. She felt... wrong. She wanted the Jim back from earlier, the Jim who'd held her for hours to keep her warm and teased her. He was disappointed in her, and she hated it – but she hated the hypocrite in him more. And now she needed that anger.

"Thank you."

"I'll see you down there." She nodded and he disappeared through the door.

She realised that Hy'Lar was watching her carefully. She wondered what she was broadcasting.

"Will he be a problem?"

"I don't know." She didn't like admitting that.

"It will not be easy for you – this."

"I've done it before."

"Perhaps – but you have strong feelings for both men you will be involved with."

She sighed. "I'm very obvious to you, aren't I?"

"Very rarely."

She put her head in her hands, feeling almost hopeless. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can do most things, Joanna. But consider how you will deal with it."

"I will try to find another way." But it wasn't looking likely.

"Do so." The Mazarite stood, taking her bowl. "This will affect him, you know." She tried to understand what that meant.

"Perhaps he'll suddenly realise I'm not a child anymore." If only.

"I believe he realised that some time ago." Hy'Lar looked serious and she couldn't tell if he was teasing or not.

She forced herself onto her feet by some miracle, making herself stretched through her routine, learning her current limits. Lotoc had taught her always to know what she had before going into any fights. Unfortunately it wasn't much. She was wobbly, her legs and arms a fraction of their usual strength. She needed more time and she didn't have it. She practiced with her phaser, but her motions were not smooth and she would probably have been safer throwing knives. Hell, what if she couldn't do this? She stood in the shower for a few minutes in tears allowing all the fears out, all the hurt from her time on Omicron. Then she closed it off and became Antonia. Hy'Lar brought through her bags, and she armed herself carefully then dressed. She'd been keeping a case for emergencies and this was one.

Hy'Lar watched her silently as she examined herself in the mirror with distaste. "You look beautiful." He finally said. The words flared disgust through her.

"For a Human." She tried to make light.

"For any species." She didn't want to be beautiful. There was no safety in beauty. It was just a face, a cover she put on, just like everything else.

"Stay safe. I'll see you in a day."

"You too." He gave her a probing look and she felt the tendrils gentle in her mind. "Don't forget which one of them you're supposed to be seducing."

A/N – The song for the next chapter is Strange and beautiful by Aqualung. Thanks for reading and please review!