Anna
The bath definitely helped me relax but feelings of guilt and dread have replaced the anxiety. Sid is waiting for me in my living room and he's going to want answers. What am I going to tell him? We are doing so well and have been so happy the past few weeks and now Meagan is turning it all to shit. I thought everything was behind us and we could only focus on the future. I thought that nothing was going to come between us ever again. Yet, here we are.
Sitting on my bed, wrapped in a fluffy robe, isn't going to give me any answers. I need to go out there and figure out how to avoid telling Sid about Meagan. If he digs there then who knows where else he'll go next.
After a couple of deep breaths, I leave the bedroom and find Sid sitting on the sofa watching a hockey game, of course. When he sees me, Sid turns off the TV and stares at me. I feel like I'm being dissected as I sit next to him. While he continues to stare, I take a sip from the glass of wine he's poured for me.
"Better" he says. "But not ok."
He picks up his wine and sits back against the cushions. I take another sip of mine and lean back against the cushions curling my legs under my body.
"I'm really sorry that I cried all over you and behaved that way Sid. God, I really have never cried so much in my entire life. It was a really, really bad day" I tell him and take another sip of wine.
"I told you, no need to apologize Anna. There is a need to explain though. What's going on?" he asks.
"Sid, there's nothing going on per se? We'll there's lots going on which is the problem but not one singular thing" I tell him.
"Anna" he begins.
I cut him off "Sid, really, I just need to shake off the day. That wonderful dinner, soak in the tub and hopefully you again, and I'll be good as new."
I give him what I hope is a sexy smile.
"Fuck!"
Sid yells, slams his wine glass on the table and stalks across the room. I'm stunned by his outburst. Unless he's on the ice, Sid is incredibly even tempered and rarely swears.
"Sid" I start but he cuts me off.
"Shut up Anna, just, for the love of God, shut up right now. The more you say, the more you lie to me and I won't put up with it anymore."
If I thought I was stunned before, now I'm simply dumbfounded and can only watch him pace the room. He rubs his hand through his hair and then his other hand joins it. He's mumbling but I can't make out what he's saying. I decide the best course of action for me is to stay silent.
He finally stops, hands on hips, and turns to me. Sid looks hot as hell when he's pissed but it's the 'pissed' part that has me on edge.
"I am beyond tired with this Anna. You say you trust me and you say that you love me. How can you have love without trust because regardless of what you say, it's clear that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth? I told myself that we don't have to tell each other everything little thing that passes through our brain. I mean, I don't tell you everything that I think or everything that happens in my day; but, this is clearly more than just keeping little things to yourself. You are obviously lying to me Anna. You're right that you don't have that much extreme emotion. I haven't known you long but I know that. And nothing, absolutely nothing would get you so off-kilter that you'd attack me for sex. You blush just talking about sex. This is bull shit. I can't handle this kind of bull shit now. This season is way too important to lose focus on what's essential. I'm done with it Anna. Done!"
It's happening. I mistakenly convinced myself that I could keep him but he was never really meant to be mine. Something was always going to make him leave me and I was a fool to believe otherwise. Wasn't this why I tried to stay away from him in the beginning?
I put my wine glass onto the table and stand up. I tighten my robe and take a few deep breaths.
"I understand" I tell him softly. "I really am sorry Sid. I promise that I won't make it awkward at work."
He frowns at me and then shakes his head.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" he demands.
"Well, we work together so I'll do my best to make sure that we don't have to interact a lot. Since I work most closely with Geno, it shouldn't be too hard to make happen" I tell him.
"What do you think is going on here?"
"We're breaking up" I tell him.
"Why?"
"Because you said that you're done" I tell him confused.
"I'm done with the secrets and the lying. We're in love Anna. You don't give up when you're in love; instead, you work things out. Just because I'm pissed off doesn't mean I want to break up with you. I'd love to throttle you right now, metaphorically of course, but we're not breaking up. Now I'm also pissed that you'd throw this away so easily. Did you mean it when you said you love me?"
Did I mean it? Of course I mean it.
"Yes" I tell him simply.
"If you love me then how can you not fight for me?"
"But you said that you're done."
"And you just accept that? No questions, no fight, not even a declaration of love? You don't really love me. That isn't love."
I'm confused.
"I love you Sidney. I have never, ever said that to another human being. My heart is in pieces at the thought of you walking out of my life. I'm dying inside."
"But" he prompts me.
"But" I begin. "Regardless of how I feel, or what I do or don't do, this was always going to end Sid. It was inevitable that this was going to end."
"What do you mean that it was inevitable that this would end?"
"You were always going to break up with me at some point" I say. I wrap my arms around my body, hugging myself as I walk to windows. The night sky has twinkling stars. "You were always going to find out the truth and then this would be over. How could you ever want me?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asks.
His words break through my fog. I was talking to myself more than him and actually forgot that he's still here. I turn to face him.
"Sid, I'm not the kind of woman you should be with, marry, and have a family. Look around at all of the player's wives. It's clear that I'm not in their league and I never will be. You've said it yourself tonight, I'm too much drama for you. I have baggage, trunks and trunks full of baggage. You need a girl who can give you everything you need. Clearly that's not me."
"That's another thing that's getting really old Anna. This constantly putting yourself down, not really seeing who you are, how special you are, is coming between us. I know that you can't just snap your fingers and everything you've ever been through goes away; but, it's causing this distance between us. It's building walls miles wide and deep between us. And it's causing you to keep the truth from me. That's what I'm done with and I'm done with it now Anna. You need to start talking and tell me what has you all tied up in knots tonight and terrified of telling me. It can't make things worse than this" he gestures to the distance between us.
If he only knew.
"Ok" I say and gesture to the sofa.
Sid nods and walks back to the sofa at the same time I do. He refills both of our glasses of wine, I'm going to need it, and then sits back against the cushions. He's at one end of the L shaped sofa and I'm at the other facing him. He's spread out, arms and legs, waiting for me to speak. I'm tied up like a pretzel with my knees bent and pulled up to my chest.
"It all started the first week of the internship" I begin.
I proceed to tell him about Meagan's snide comments and how I would hear from other's what she's said about me. When I get to the elevator ride the other day and tell him what she said about me 'fucking' either Geno or Mario, Sid's face becomes tight and he's still as stone. Only his chest going up and down with each breath gives any indication that he's alive.
I have to gulp down the rest of my wine so that I can tell him about my 'conversation' with Meagan today. I decide to leave nothing out. He listens without interrupting and gives no indication that he's even listening except that his eyes remain on mine.
"Sid, she said that she could leak it to a tabloid that the Governor's daughter is 'fucking the hockey star.' That would destroy my father's family values campaign and it would damage your reputation including your endorsements. Not to mention the chaos during your run for the Cup and my father's run for the Presidential nomination."
"Don't say that" he says, almost growling it.
"Say what?" I ask.
"That you and I are fucking. Don't say it that way."
Of all the things for Sid to be pissed off in my long story, that is what he focuses on?
"Sid, did you hear what I said?"
"Yes, and don't say it again. I don't give a shit what anyone else says about us but do not reduce what we have to 'fucking,' ever."
"Ok" I reply softly.
He's staring at the wine glass he's holding in both hands. I don't know exactly how much time goes by but it's a lot and it makes me very nervous. I do feel some of the pressure lift off of my shoulders now that I've told him. I do love him and hate lying. Yet I do.
"Ok" he says and looks at his watch. "Go get dressed."
"Huh?"
"Get dressed, jeans will do. I'm calling Mario and we're going to see him."
"Huh?"
"For the love of God Anna, put on some fucking jeans and a tee shirt so that we can go to see Mario!"
"Ok" is all I can say and quickly go to my bedroom.
As I dress, I hear Sid on the phone. A couple of times I hear the words 'bitch' and 'no fucking way' but otherwise I can't hear what he's saying. Once dressed, I put my hair in a ponytail and my regular jewellery.
As I walk into the living room again, I hear Sid say "thanks dad."
He's talked to his dad too? Oh my God. What the hell is going on?
"Good, you're dressed, let's go" he tells me.
At the front door, he helps me into my coat and then puts on his own. It doesn't take us long to get to his car and we still haven't said a word to each other. I'm honestly scared to say a word in case he blows up again. I'm not stupid. If he was going to break up with me then we wouldn't be going to Mario's. Oh God, Mario. He warned us about this and now we're running to him for help. Oh God, Sid's dad knows too. This is a disaster.
Sid sighs then reaches out to take my cold hand in his warm one.
"We'll figure this out, ok?" he says softly.
"Ok" I agree.
It's already 10:30pm and the evening is really just beginning.
It takes us about thirty minutes to get to Mario's home in Sewickley. Sid punches in the gate code and we drive up to the front door. It's telling how comfortable Sid is in the Lemieux home because he walks right in the door without knocking or ringing the bell. No sooner are we in the door when Mario comes down the hall to meet us.
"So, I guess we have a situation to deal with, eh?" Mario asks.
"Yeah" Sid answers.
Oh God.
Sidney
I thought that I couldn't be any more pissed off when Anna was lying to me, again, and then she tells me about that bitch Meagan. Interns usually drink too much on the road or are perpetually late if there are issues. There has never been one like this one and I knew that meant we needed Mario's help.
It's so fucking embarrassing. We're sitting in Mario's office with Nathalie and my parents on the speaker phone. I called dad and he woke up mom so now I get to talk about my sex life with my parents and adopted parents.
Beside me Anna is holding the cup of tea Nathalie gave her so hard that I think the china might actually break. I feel badly that she's having to go through this and that we had to dealing with it now after such a difficult day; but, we can't let it go any further in case this bitch decides to do something. That means we need Mario's help.
"Anna, I'm sorry to make you do this, but can you go through all of the details? Sid's given us a summary but I need to know what she's said, done, everything" Mario says and gives her a reassuring smile.
Anna takes a deep breath and I know that she does that when she's steeling herself for something she doesn't want to do. Looking down at her cup the entire time, Anna recounts every interaction she's had with Meagan. Her voice falters slightly when she tells them what Meagan said about Anna and Mario having sex. She finishes with leaving the office today.
"That's everything?" Mario asks.
Anna looks up at him and nods.
"What are your thoughts Mario?" my dad says from the phone.
"I know what I want to do" Mario replies with vengeance in his voice. "What I will do is call Sam, our lawyer, and ask his advice."
Mario steps out of the room and I stare at Anna. I feel like I'm being torn apart. Part of me wants to protect her from that bitch and everything that's happening right now. Another part of me is still so pissed off at her for lying, again, for assuming that I was going to leave when I found out and for making me feel guilty that I'm so pissed.
"Sidney?" I hear my mom through the phone.
"Yeah, I'm here mom."
"Do you want us to come down? We can be on a plane in the morning sweetie."
Just the offer gives me comfort. It's such a mom thing to do and so like her to offer to drop everything and come help me.
"Thanks mom. Let's wait and see what our next steps are before you go to that trouble."
"Sweetie, it's no trouble."
"Sorry mom, I didn't mean it that way. Let's just wait and see what happens with the lawyer."
Our conversation is cut off because Mario comes back into the room.
"Ok, Sam is going to review the contracts that the interns sign and he'll be here at 7am tomorrow. He'll want to talk to both of you Sid. What time do the interns usually arrive in the morning Anna?"
Anna doesn't reply. She's staring down at her cup again, completely unengaged in the conversation around her. I gently put my hand on her arm.
"Anna?" I say.
"We have to tell my father" she whispers but loud enough that Mario hears her.
I look quickly at him and I can see that he understands the implications of Anna's father knowing and the effect on him politically. Mario walks over and crouches down in front of Anna. He slips the cup from her hand and places it on the side table. Then he takes her hands in his and waits until she looks up at him.
"I understand Anna, truly I understand what this could mean. Here's what I suggest we do first. In the morning, we'll meet with Sam and tell him everything. Then he can advise us of our best course of action considering ever variable including your family. Once we know his recommendation then we can discuss next steps and involve others if needed. Ok? Let's take this one step at a time."
Anna is staring at Mario like he's her saviour and maybe, in a way, he is for both of us. There wouldn't be that much PR impact to me. It's not me that I'm worried about. We need to make sure that the Pens and Anna are protected.
"Ok Anna?" Mario gentle presses.
"Ok" she whispers back.
He pats her cheek softly like I've seen him do with his kids and then he stands and glances at Nathalie. His silent communication is received and Nathalie stands.
"Sidney" she begins. "Since you have to be here to talk to the lawyer so early, why don't you and Anna stay here rather than driving home and then back?"
I look at Anna but she doesn't react at all.
"That sounds great Nathalie, thank you."
"You're old room is made up with fresh linens and towels. Why don't you and Anna go up? You must be exhausted" she tells me.
I guess there's no secret that Anna and I are sleeping together so there's no need for separate rooms. It's funny because, when I lived here, one of the only rules was no girls staying over.
"Mom, dad?" I say.
"Yes sweetie" mom says.
"Thanks so much. I'll talk to you first thing in the morning, ok?"
"Ok kid" dad says.
"We love you sweetie" mom tells me.
It makes me smile. In all of this craziness mom still manages some normality.
"Me too mom."
I stand and pull Anna will me. She holds my hand tightly and lets me lead her out of the room. At the door threshold, she stops and turns back to Mario and Nathalie.
"I'm so very sorry for this disruption and the problems it is causing you. Thank you so much for helping and for the hospitality this evening" she tells them.
She turns back to me and we continue out of the room. Even devastated, Anna remembers her southern manners. It makes me wonder what else might be ingrained in her indelibly.
When we get into the west wing of the house, I lead her into what used to be my room and sit her on the bed. I rummage through some of the drawers and find an old Pens tee shirt. This should be ok for Anna to sleep in.
Back at the bed, I hand it to her and ask "is this ok to sleep in?"
She looks at the shirt and then back at me and nods.
"The bathroom is over there" I point.
Anna nods, walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. I collapse on the bed. This can't be happening. How did everything go from a high, the team is winning and I have a girl that I love, to shit that involves lawyers and telling my family about my sex life.
My phone buzzes and it's my parents.
"Hi" I answer.
"Hey kid, you ok?" dad asks.
"I'm exhausted and pissed off. Other than that I'm fine."
"That sounds about right. Are you sure you don't want us to come down?"
"Let's wait until we talk to the lawyer, ok? This could be something easily taken care of and goes away quickly or I'll need you to come down and help deal with the shit I've made."
"Sid, you didn't do this. You fell for a girl. It shouldn't be more complicated than that but when have our lives been simple, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Is she worth it?" he asks.
"Yeah dad, she's worth it."
"Good, than you do everything that you can to protect that girl which includes letting us help, ok?"
"Ok dad. I will." I hear the door open and see Anna come out of the bathroom. "I'll call in the morning."
"Sure thing" dad says and we disconnect.
Anna places her folded clothes on the dresser and stands there, in the tee shirt and panties, with her fingers knotted together. She looks so lost that I walk over to her and take her hands in mine. They're freezing and I see that she has goosebumps on her skin.
"Come on" I tell her and walk her to the bed.
I pull down the comforter and sheet and help her into the bed. She's shivering when I cover her up. Quickly, I go to the other side of the bed, strip down to my shorts, put the alarm on my phone to 6am, like we'll get any sleep anyway, and then climb into bed beside her. I vacillate back and forth between leaving Anna alone and wanting to comfort her. I remember what my father said and roll over to where Anna lays and pull her close so that we spoon. Thankfully, she doesn't resist me. I don't know if I could take it if she did.
"We'll fix everything Anna. Don't worry, we'll fix everything baby" I whisper and kiss under her ear.
"I'm sorry" she whispers back. "I'm so sorry that I lied to you Sidney. I'm so sorry."
"Let's put that aside right now, ok baby? Let's just focus on what's in front of us and getting through this together then we'll work through everything else together. Ok."
"Ok" she says and sighs. "Sid?"
"Yes baby."
She doesn't say anything more. I hug her closer.
"Do you still love me?" she whispers and I hear her voice catch.
At least this question is easy to answer.
"Yes baby, I love you. Now and always."
She shivers and pulls my arms tighter around me. I kiss the back of her neck softly,
"And you?" I ask.
Anna turns so quickly that her elbow clips my chin.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" Anna says as cups my face.
I test my jaw and chuckle.
"Yeah, I'm fine" I reply.
"Good" she strokes my cheek and then kisses my chin. "Of course I love you Sid. Now and always."
Her smile slips and her eyes soften. She kisses me softly, slowly. Her lips are so soft and feel innocent in their exploration of mine. This is love. I can feel love flow from Anna to me through this kiss. I pull back.
"Anna, let's get some sleep."
"No, I need you" she tells me and kisses me again.
I can feel my body responding to hers but I try again. I don't want her to think she has to do this to make something up to me.
"Anna, a lot has happened tonight and tomorrow isn't going to be any easier. Let's get some sleep."
Anna pulls back so that I can see her from the soft light of the moon coming through the window. She looks so beautiful.
"I need you" she says.
I feel the same. I need her tonight in a way I've never needed anyone.
This time our lips meet together, mutually, and begin their soft exploration. Anna's hands slide from my cheeks up into my hair and she pushes up against me. I find the bare skin of her thigh and pull her leg over mine. We move slowly, savouring each other, tasting and exploring. I pull back one more time, breathing hard and knowing that I've almost lost complete control.
"Anna, be sure baby."
Instead of answering me, Anna leans in and takes my bottom lip between her teeth. She bites lightly, runs her tongue along it and then sucks. I guess that's my answer.
Anna releases my lip and slips her tongue between mine. Our tongues play and explore. Her hands tug at my hair and I pull her leg further so that it wraps around my thigh. I slide my hand up her thigh and cup her ass. Anna moans into my mouth and I slip my hand lower, between her legs, under her panties. I can just reach between her folds and feel how wet she is. It's frustrating because I can't slip inside or touch her clit. Anna grinds against me and I know that she's just as frustrated.
I push Anna back so that she lies against the pillow and I slide between her legs. My lips leave hers and travel down her neck. She tastes so good but I want more. I slide my body lower and push the tee shirt up to reveal her breasts. They are full and her nipples tighten under my gaze. I take one between my finger and thumb and gently roll it with greater and greater pressure. It grows long and even hardens further. I switch to the other one and watch as it responds the same.
"Oh Sid, please" she begs and grinds against me. "Please."
I can't resist any further so I take one into my mouth sucking. She moans again and I shift so that my hand can reach between us. I move to her other nipple and slide my hand into her panties. Anna grinds against my hand and I slip my fingers between her folds until I find her clit. She cries out as I rub slowly around and around. I kiss down her body until I'm between her legs and can pull off her panties. I settle so that her legs are over my hands and I can pull her legs apart.
I blow on the newly exposed, wet skin.
"Ahhhh" she cries out.
I do it again and again. She writhes beneath me and her hips begin to tilt up rhythmically. I take a long lick and she pushes into my face.
"Ahhh, Sid!"
I latch onto her clit and suck. Her hips tilt again and again up into my face. I press down with the flat of my tongue and rub. Her hips begin to thrust now and I push two fingers inside of her while I flick her clit over and over. She moans and cries out over and over. I can feel her orgasm build in her body. I circle my fingers stretching around and around where she's sensitive and then I begin to thrust them in and out in the same rhythm as my tongue flicks.
I keep up the pressure and speed until her body stiffens and she cries out loud. She drenches my face as she cums. I use the sheet to wipe my face while she rides her orgasm. I climb up to lie beside her and stroke her hair back from her face. When she comes down from her high, she turns her head, looks at me and smiles.
"Hi" I say.
"Hi" she replies.
Anna takes me by surprise when she pushes me back and straddles me.
"Now I need you" she says and pulls my dick out of my shorts.
I grab her wrist and pull it back.
"We can't Anna." She looks hurt so I quickly explain. "I don't have any condoms."
"Oh" she says and looks disappointed. "Well, let me" she doesn't finish her thought but instead wraps her hand around me.
"Anna, you don't have to" I tell her but am cut off when she leans down and takes my dick in her mouth.
"Oh fuck" I say and lean back.
Her lips are inexperienced but fuck does it feel good. Her innocence is so fucking hot and when I hit the back of her throat, I almost cum immediately. In and out, Anna bobs up and down, and sucks me off. I'm about to cum, embarrassingly quickly.
"Anna, I'm going to cum. Stop if you don't want me to cum in your mouth."
Instead of stopping, she goes faster and faster as she sucks me dry as I cum. As I try to catch my breath, Anna climbs up my body and pulls up the covers. I pull her to my side and she lays her head on my chest and leaves a few kisses there before settling back.
"I love you Sid."
"I love you Anna. Go to sleep."
She yawns and does just that, falls asleep. Surprisingly, I do too.