A/N: Hi! glad u liked the lemon? ^^
I'm getting some thigns about short chapters an to be honest - yeah, they're short.

So, I hope this is more of your 'length-taste' in chapters!
Enjoy!

Only heard in the room was our fast, erratic breathing, my fast beating heart and a few chaste kisses we shared. We lay there for a while, just breathing, holding onto each other for dear life, during the last minutes had together before he'd leave.
At some point he murmured something about being too cold and heavy. Apparently I'd started shivering like crazy. Edward pulled out of me and I cringed at the stung from inside. When he rolled off of me, I saw his hand clench the headboard behind him in a vice grip as his breathing fastened once again, but not from arousal.
And that's when I noticed the warm liquid between my legs.
I was bleeding quite much.
I quickly squeezed my legs together, trying to find a way to free him from the scent. It was helpless of course, but I had to do something. We obviously never smelled it after he made me lose my virginity.
"Edward, I'm…" I began, feeling guilty because he was pained. His pain was my pain now. it was one of the aspects of mating – the connection that'd reach as far as needed.
"No, Melody, don't. I was expecting it." he whispered, his voice hoarse, probably me from the screaming he just did. I blushed a bright red for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

I nodded vaguely as realization dawned down on me. We just had sex. Amazing, painful but intoxicating sex. I was no virgin anymore, no little girl any longer. He'd made a woman of me.

And after tonight, after we'd shared ourselves in the most beautiful and intimate way possible, it was over. We were over before it had even started. My head began to burn as the tears wanted to break free for another round.
I didn't want to leave, I never wanted to. But I had too. I glanced sideways, to the man beside me, still naked, glorious and troubled. His eyes were closed but the tension was very obvious in his face.
It was Edward who pulled me towards Forks in the first place, it was Edward who made my days worth living again after all the horrible words I'd heard from the woman that once gave birth to me. It was Edward that lightened a fire, a fire inside me that would make me do everything to keep him with me, safe. But he had just as quickly extinguished it.
It was time to face reality, the outside world and to think of what was happening outside of the bedroom where we gave ourselves to one another. But not wholly – He wasn't giving me everything and what I wanted was his cold, stoned heart to love me back.
And he didn't even know. Edward didn't know I was his in every way.

Unwilling and still raw from the impassioned moments before, I sat up and left the huge bed, that now was covered I blood and partially broken at the sides. I stifled a gasp at the sight of pieces that were clawed out of the wooden sides. Without looking at him, even though I felt his eyes on me, I started to gather my wet clothes. I blushed crimson when I realized I was standing there, naked in front of him. when I'd gotten my clothes back in my arms, I helplessly stood there, not really knowing what do or to find.
Just when I wanted to face him, I heard his voice from next to me. I was startled by his sudden appearance at my side, covering my breasts and hips with the bunch of material in my hands. A sigh of relief left me, as I saw he'd already hoisted himself into clothes.
"you…you can use my bathroom…if you like to uh…clean yourself up." he stumbled over the words, something I'd do. I nodded, the redness in my cheeks never leaving. He pointed me in the right direction and let me take my time.
I dried my hair with one of the fluffy towels, and tried to dab at the sore space between my legs. The amount of blood that had left my body was kind of terrifying to see. I slowly dressed, not wanting to seeing that I knew what was going to happen next. I wanted to make this a precious moment, to cherish it. but there was no time left.
I left the bathroom, looking down at my soaked shoes, and followed Edward's feet as we silently left the house. On his way down, Edward turned off all the lights.
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

Outside, it was still raining, as we descended the porch steps into the darkness. Edward turned towards me, closing the distance between us for the one last time. enclosing his hand around my face, he looked me deeply in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, pain evident in his tone. I whimpered.
He lips touched mine as I closed my eyes, wanting to remember the feel of rose petals when they'd leave me.
A rush of air, made my eyes flutter as his lips were absent.
Like a ghost, he was gone. Gone into the darkness. Without me.

'With a kiss of desire on the lips'

I expected the tears, the panic attack and everything that one would do when the reason of one's existing left. But it never came. The tears were not there, like I'd cried enough. But I felt like I could cry more than ever before. I didn't panic, or scream. I didn't even made any move to follow him – I knew I could catch up with him, I was fast enough. but it didn't.
All I felt was the agonizing numbness spreading throughout my body. The same body that had been set on fire moments earlier. Only the tingles from numbness that settled underneath my skin, were left of him.
I just stood there, unmoving and getting soaked through the bone. I listened to my heart that was beating, but there was no sign of the fast erratic and panicking rhythm. it beat peacefully, like there was nothing wrong at all.
Every single damn thing went wrong. All of it.

I was lonely, cold and the words he'd last spoken to me cut through me like a large, razor sharp knife full of flesh hooks. 'I'm sorry' was the only thing he'd said.

I was done here. I could stay there, wait or do nothing, but it wouldn't solve any problems or heartache.
Like automatically, I turned and ran, without blinking my eyes back to Charlie. Not home – Edward was my home. With every step in the dirt laying on the forest grounds, I felt the scorching pain rushing through my veins. The pain was almost unbearable. Strange since I didn't seem to realize anything of it. It hurt with every move to feel the distance, the separation and the thought of being away from him. Especially after we'd made love, like that.
It was everything to me. even the pain was perfect. Like it was a sign that we were going to face this – separation.
I felt my body taking on a slower pace, a human pace. My eyes saw the familiar street where I lived. My ears heard the loud voices from the people that were surrounding the house, in search for Bella.
I came closer, starting to realize what was happening as I felt a single tears brush over my left cheek.
He was gone.
At that moment I felt my mind connecting with my limp body again. my breathing, increased just as my heartbeat. Soft sobs of desperation left my throat. My lungs constricted, making it difficult to breath. My legs and arms started to get wobbly as my head felt light. Like I was flying somewhere above it.

I stood in front of the house, stopping myself. There's a whole commotion ranging in the front yard. A lot of men, busy with radio receiving, phoning, talking and thinking strategies. Bella was still missing. I didn't know how much time passed since Charlie spoke with me.
'Oh god! Melody!'
Jacob saw me, and ran up to me as my sight blurred from the tears. I didn't want him to hold me! he didn't have a right too! Edward needed to hold me, to take away the pain! I wanted to tell him, to run away. But the only thing I remembered, was a loud, heart wrenching horrific scream and some whimpering, Jacob running up to catch me and Charlie's thoughts. 'She just found out.'before everything around me faded into darkness, taking me with it.
It was the one thing he didn't want, where he left me for, but what he did after all, without knowing it.

Edward Cullen killed me. Killed me by taking my shattered heart with him.

November light shone dimly through the lacy curtains at my window. The snowflakes that fell from high sky, stayed on the ground, creating a huge white blanket that covered the city. I couldn't make out what time it was, not that I wanted too. I could easily be early morning, afternoon or even twilight. I'd been lying there for a while, just staring at the white ceiling from my bedroom. I tried to remember, to forget and to relive everything that took place the night before.
I found myself wanting it to be a dream – even the times of pure pleasure I'd been through with Edward. it was earth shattering but never worth his leaving.
He should've given me the chance to explain, to tell him everything I'd kept away from him as a secret. Maybe I could've kept him with me, at my side.
I made a move to crawl out of my bed, since there was no true reason at staying in it. And I needed a good shower. As I moved I cringed at feeling my muscles hurt. Even though my numb, depressive state, I felt myself blush. The muscle ache everywhere was probably something normal after your first time of having sex.
My head burned with dizziness as I gathered some fresh clothes and a towel to get a shower. The house remarkably quiet and I wondered what time it was. I glanced at the clock in my bedroom and gasped when I saw the time. Half past five in the evening. No wonder it was getting darker outside. I must've slept for almost twenty hours!
The panic was starting to contract in my chest again. this wasn't normal – it should've been the other way around. Scarlett told me that after mating the change would only become faster and more obvious. I should've slept less than two hours or so. Instead I slept the double of one human.
I tried to control my breathing and to make sure I wouldn't have another panic attack. Entering the bathroom, I laid my garments beside the wash table before turning on the water. I got out of my dirty clothes, constantly wincing when some sort of pain would struck me at a place on my body. When I tugged off my shirt, bra and the rest of my clothes, I gasped when I saw a couple of bruises playing around my hips, through the large mirror. Combining with the scars that would be seated there for lots of lifetimes, the skin of my belly looked like it had been cruelly violated.
No wonder my lower body hurt so much.

It had been too fast, too rough and he had been too strong. I could've expected this, but the marks only reminded me of him and what we'd done the night before.
I stepped away from the bathroom mirror in disgust. Not of Edward and the bruises he'd caused, but because of me and how I looked. My hair was wild, tangled and it seemed like it hadn't been washed for days. My eyes were blotchy from crying as my lips were swollen and plump from the fierce kisses Edward and I had shared. A small cut sat beneath my eye on my cheekbone, while a bruise covered some space at my collarbones and the scars on my shoulder didn't do anything to lighten up my mood either. My breasts were unharmed but a tad lower, on my ribcage were bruises spread out as well. My arms and legs were quite harmless too, apart from small scrapes. The space between my legs however, was the place where it physically hurt the most. There were still some blood stains high on my thighs.
It occurred me, he never said a thing about my tattoos or scars. He'd also been so very careful to avoid contact with my partly wounded shoulder.
Words weren't truly needed at that moment, but I wished there had been. Maybe if we'd spoken about it, this all wouldn't have happened, then didn't Edward need any reason to leave.

It was actually my fault.

As tears threatened to spill over again, I got in the shower stall and stepped under the hot spray, feeling the water burn my cold skin and hitting the fresh scrapes. I tightly hugged my ribcage, feeling so vulnerable and fragile standing there like that.
I quietly washed myself, being careful at touching the battered places, and cleaning the chafing and open cuts. Unfortunately, not even the smell of my banana-coconut shampoo didn't seem to calm my senses or make me feel better.
I didn't know how long I stood there, unmoving and just staring ahead of me, letting water pour down on me. but I needed it – I needed the water to remind me of the rain. I actually needed the bruises cuts and ache between my legs to know we had sex last night. I was determined to endure the heartache to be able to remember he'd been in my life.

When I noticed the skin of my fingers started to wrinkle, I turned off the water, that had started to run cold, and stepped out. Carefully, I dried off and even so gentle I put on my way to large sweatpants and a dark blue long-sleeved shirt. On my feet, I put a pair of thick, fluffy feeling socks and I left my still drying hair down.
I hugged my chest again when I went downstairs, a little apprehensive on what I might face. Turning the corner into the kitchen, I was surprised to see Charlie already there. I hadn't heard him enter the house. My mind was completely elsewhere.
"Hey Dad." I croaked, my mouth awfully dry as I squeezed out the words. Charlie's head shot up at hearing me. his thoughts were completely in disarray as he tried to decide how to handle me. As if I was some kind of psycho. I saw how he handled everything, how he handled with searching for Bella. A frown started to form on my forehead and I hissed out of nothing.
"Melody…everything is going to – "

"No it's NOT! How can you say that!? Everything is ruined! EVERYTHING!" I yelled through the kitchen, startling my father who dropped the spoon he used to mix dinner in the pan. The tears were falling all over again and I snapped my jaw together in an attempt to calm myself. It wasn't fair. How it always seemed to end up in a disaster when I felt at the right place.
Charlie sighed heavily," just like I told Bella, and I know it's hard, but you have to accept their choice Melody. They're gone and won't be coming back for what sure will be a long time. but Carlisle had a great offer for a job and it's normal and healthy that they choose their family in the first place." he calmly said, sitting down on a chair.

"No…no…please don't say that…" I whimpered, taking hold of the doorpost next to me and feeling a sudden rush of nausea trigger my senses. I clamped my hand down on my mouth, feeling the need to gag.
"Melody? Honey, are you okay?" Charlie stood up from his chair and went over to me, but I had already pushed myself away from the doorway, running up the stairs a little faster than humanly possible. At the top I wrenched open the bathroom door which I exited through no mere minutes before, stumbling in the direction of the toilet. I fell on my knees and threw up harshly , sobbing through it from the dry pain in my throat.
When nothing left my stomach anymore, the nausea was gone. I was still gasping for breath when Charlie's warm hand soothed my back.

No words were spoken as he picked me up from the cold tile floor and carried me to my room, placing me gently beneath the soft duvet, tucking me in. he felt my forehead for any signs of fever and left to go downstairs. later he came back with a glass of water, a warm washcloth and a bucket. He placed it all in the right place, before sitting down in the edge of my bed. he looked at me, sighing and started to stroke my hair in a caring manner.
"You need rest, little girl. Everything that is happening is taking a great effort from you, and you're not able to handle all of this if you keep wanting to make everything right. And I know it hurts you that your best friends left, but you need to learn to get up and live further. Years from now, you'll look exactly the same, and also then you'll need to handle such things. And I also know you've been through a lot already, but someday you'll be the one to laugh last. Because you never gave up strength." Charlie murmured, the emotion obvious in his voice.
"You should realize that I'm not going let you slip through my fingers. You're very precious to me, daughter, just like your siblings and cousins. Rest, dear. I'll bring up some light soup later." He patted me softly on the head and stood up, walking to the door.
"Just yell when you need me, alright kiddo?"

I nodded slowly, my eyes still prinking from the salty tears and the sudden feeling of tiredness. Charlie closed the door, and went downstairs to finish dinner for Bella and himself. I still had no clue about how and where Bella was, but she probably was alight. If she wasn't Charlie would've told me.
I grabbed the washcloth and started dabbing my face, wiping the sweat away and hydrating the skin. Then I settled back into my large pillow, closing my tired eyes.
I didn't know why, but I really needed sleep again..