A/N: So this chapter is a full four weeks later than I told some of you that it would be. My muse and I are currently experiencing… well, let's call it creative differences. Yeah. Suffice to say that it has resulted in a four-week-long lack of inspiration. Very frustrating, but thankfully over now. (The lack of inspiration is over, I mean, not the creative differences – my muse is one stubborn witch!)
Anyway, here is the second-to-last chapter. I know many of you have been waiting for this one for a long time, so I hope it's everything you were expecting. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Only in my wildest dreamings.
With the Wizard gone, Morrible safely behind bars and deprived of her magical powers, and Dorothy sent home to Kansas, Elphaba was finally left free to focus on getting Fiyero and Boq back to normal. That night, after the rest of the palace was sleeping soundly, she and Glinda crept through the silent halls to Madam Morrible's old office. Once there, the blonde produced a key and quietly unlocked the door, allowing them to slip inside. She had exercised her authority as the ruler of Oz and ordered the room to be sealed off and everyone kept out. It was in everyone's best interests that she do so, she had explained to the questioning residents of the palace, as it was impossible to know what sort of unpleasant spells the former press secretary might have employed for protection.
Her real reason for taking such action, of course, had been to allow herself and her emerald-skinned friend to access the books and papers inside without it being discovered that they were doing so. As evil as Morrible was, she knew more about sorcery than even the green girl herself did, and Elphaba was certain that somewhere within her vast collection of materials she would find something that could be of use in restoring the Tin Man and the Scarecrow to their human forms. And thanks to the good witch's decree, she could take whatever she needed, because there was no danger of anyone noticing that the room had been disturbed.
In the office, Elphaba collected every book on sorcery and spells that she could lay her hands on, along with any others that she thought might be helpful. She ended up with a stack so high that she couldn't see over the top of it, and had to have Glinda take a few off her hands so she could find her way back out into the corridor. The shorter girl followed her out and then relocked the door behind them, and the two of them retraced their route back to their quarters, somehow managing between the two of them to carry all the volumes the green girl had selected in one trip.
Having rid herself of her pile of books and reclaimed those that the blonde held, Elphaba then prepared to undertake the most important study session of her life. She paused only long enough to request that she not be disturbed under any circumstances. If she needed something, she told Glinda, she would ask for it. The shorter girl did not appear to care much for this arrangement, but reluctantly promised that she would make certain her friend's demand for total solitude was obeyed. With this assurance, Elphaba shut her door and closed herself off from everyone and everything, vowing not to emerge until she had accomplished her goal.
This method of holing up alone in some quiet corner or other was how she had always written papers and prepared for exams at Shiz. She wouldn't sleep. She would eat only the barest amount needed to keep herself from collapsing. All her energy and focus would be poured into the pages of the books in front of her. And the technique had never failed her. Granted, once the paper was handed in or the exam was finished, she had usually returned to her room and collapsed into bed for the rest of the day, too exhausted to move, but the high marks she had consistently achieved had made the inevitable post-studying crash worthwhile. If there was ever an occasion that called for her old tried-and-true approach, this was it. She just hoped that her efforts would prove as fruitful this time as they had in the past.
Afraid that she would get too comfortable and fall asleep if she tried to lay on her bed and read, she decided to establish herself in an armchair that sat within easy reach of a large table where she could pile all the books. She then proceeded to do just that, arranging the volumes in the order of what she guessed their usefulness would be. After bringing over the lamp from her bedside table, she settled herself comfortably in the chair, picked up the topmost book from the first stack, and began to read.
In a strange way, she felt almost as though she was reliving her days as a student at university. Her world narrowed until it included only the words on the pages in front of her. She lost all sense of time; it was impossible to tell whether she had been there for several days or for only a few hours. Pushing everything else from her mind, she focused all her being on the task at hand. It vaguely registered in her mind at some point that she was hungry, and beginning to grow tired. But other than to summon Rhia and request a light meal, she ignored the feelings. Fiyero and Boq didn't have the capability to be hungry or tired in their altered states, so it seemed fitting that she experience both sensations in their stead until they were once again able to do so themselves.
Reading constantly, she soon made it through all the volumes she had pilfered from the press secretary's office. But to her frustration and dismay, she found nothing that seemed as though it would offer the help she sought. She discovered more than one reversal spell (it did not surprise her in the least to learn that Morrible had been lying about spells being irreversible), but quickly dismissed them all. If all she did was reverse the last spell that had been cast on him, Boq would become human again, but without a heart, leaving him in the same dire predicament that had first necessitated his being turned into tin. And Fiyero would also be restored to his normal state, but with whatever injuries he had sustained at the hands of the Wizard's guards, injuries whose extent she didn't know and about which she didn't care to learn firsthand. No, she needed something stronger than a reversal spell… a spell that would not only change them back, but that would also remedy the problems that had caused her to have to intervene in the first place. But though she read and reread, no such spell came to light. Finally, at her wit's end, she slammed the book in her hands closed, tossed it down onto the table, and slumped back in her armchair, brooding.
Then the answer came to her, and she jerked upright in the chair in surprise. It was so simple and so clear that she was amazed it hadn't occurred to her at once. She must be more tired than she thought, to have overlooked this obvious solution!
So the spell you need doesn't exist in any of these books? asked the voice in her head reasonably. That's fine. Forget the books and create it yourself.
Creating her own spell to turn Boq and Fiyero back to normal was really a much better idea than trusting a spell that she found already made in a book, she realized as soon as the thought entered her head. She had never done something like this herself, but theoretically it could be done. After all, every existing spell had to have been invented at some point. Doing things this way meant that she would be able to tailor the incantation to suit the needs of both individuals on whom it was to be cast, making it much more likely to be effective. And the vocabulary for the spell would be easy to come by. The books piled on the table were full of thousands of words in the language of sorcery; all she needed to do was find the bits and pieces she wanted and weave them together properly.
It was that last part that made her uneasy. She didn't know the first thing about creating a spell; how could she know that she was, in fact, fitting the various words and phrases together the right way? She couldn't be sure that her spell would work without testing it on something. And she didn't have anything on which to test it, other than the two upon whom the hypothetical spell would be cast. She would simply have to do her best and hope like hell that her best was good enough. As much as she hated leaving things to chance, especially something as critical as this, there was really no other option. So she went to fetch paper, pen, and ink from the desk across the room, and then set to work.
Now that she actually had something definite to do in pursuit of her goal, the time seemed to pass much more quickly. Elphaba grew so absorbed in her work that the haze of exhaustion hovering at the edges of her mind was forgotten. Flipping through book after book, she made careful notes of all the words she would need, turning them over and over in her mind and on her tongue until she was sure she knew how to pronounce them properly. Before long, she had completed the list of the necessary vocabulary. Now all that remained was to arrange the words into an actual spell.
She kept the general framework of the incantation the same for both Fiyero's and Boq's versions of the spell, since her overall intent was the same in both cases. From there, the rest of her task lay on a more individualized level. She included a regeneration charm in Boq's version, carefully inserting the word for 'heart' so that there would be no doubt about what part of him was to be regrown. For Fiyero's, since whatever wounds he had suffered were bound to be of a somewhat more superficial nature, she replaced the regeneration charm with a healing spell that would mend any imaginable injury, from bruises to broken bones and even worse.
To her pleasant surprise, once she got going, creating the two slightly different adaptations of her spell proved to be more straightforward and less taxing than she had anticipated. Almost before she knew it, she was copying the last word from her pages of hastily-scribbled notes onto a fresh sheet of paper. Then she dispatched Rhia with a message to the others that the spells were ready to be put to use.
Of course, as much as Elphaba hated the thought of Fiyero and Boq having to spend even one clock tick longer than absolutely necessary in their spell-induced states, she could hardly try out her spells on the spot as she wanted desperately to do. People would get very suspicious if two of Oz's greatest heroes just up and disappeared without a trace. So, at her urging, Glinda announced to the Ozians that the Scarecrow and the Tin Man were departing to return to the lives they had led before Dorothy arrived, inviting everyone to turn out to bid them farewell. It was a necessary precaution, the green girl knew, but the proclamation took several days to organize and carry out, and she grew frustrated at the delay.
Being left alone for extended periods of time with nothing but her own mind for company was never a good situation for Elphaba, and now was no exception. In addition to making her annoyed for Fiyero's and Boq's sakes, the extra time also gave her ample opportunity to imagine everything that could possibly go wrong. She had never had any difficulty finding the possible problems in any given scenario, and this particular situation had more potential for disaster than most. The more she thought about it, the more hesitant she became to cast a spell that had never been used or even tested before now. Had the circumstances been anything other than what they were, she would never have dared to take such a risk with even a complete stranger, let alone with people she knew and cared for (well, in one case out of two, anyhow).
How could she possibly expect them to put themselves entirely in her hands, under her power? She couldn't ask them to place that kind of faith in her, not after what she had already done to them. Had she been in their position, she certainly wouldn't have trusted herself. Hell, she barely trusted herself as it was. She had strung the spells together out of a jumble of words and phrases, which she had taken from multiple sources whose credibility was unverifiable. There was no possible way to guarantee that they would work, or even that it wouldn't do Boq or Fiyero any harm if they didn't. For all that she knew – and there was every reason to believe it – trying to magic spell them again would only make matters worse.
Plagued as she was with these worries, Elphaba spent several more sleepless days and nights as she waited for Fiyero and Boq to take their leave of the citizens of Oz and join her in hiding. In fact, she very nearly managed to talk herself out of the whole idea. I've already caused them enough misery, she told herself bitterly. They're both counting on me. I can't let them down now – they'd be so devastated if my spells didn't work. And the surest way not to let them down is not to try in the first place. At least if I don't try, I can't fail.
But if you don't try, you can't succeed, either, the annoyingly omnipresent voice in her head pointed out. You'd be letting them down worse by giving up before you even begin than you could ever do by trying the spells you created and having them not work. You know that.
But what if I made a mistake somewhere in one of the spells? What if something goes wrong and I end up hurting them? I lost Fiyero once, and it very nearly destroyed me. I don't think I could survive losing him again.
No one could blame you for feeling that way. But don't you think you're being just a little bit selfish?
What do you mean?
You're only thinking about yourself here. You're afraid you'll fail. You're afraid you'll lose Fiyero again. And this isn't about you at all. It's about Fiyero and Boq. You haven't bothered to consider what they want.
Elphaba was about to retort, but then realized that the mysterious voice had a point. She had been so focused on her own fears and insecurities that it hadn't occurred to her to wonder what Fiyero's and Boq's opinions might be. But their feelings on the matter deserved to be taken into account above anyone else's, including hers. After all, they would be the ones upon whom the spells would be cast.
She knew with utter certainty that they both longed to be their old selves again. They had never come right out and said so to her face, of course, but she was sure of it all the same. And if there was even the slightest possibility that her spells might be able to give them that, how could she possibly deny them the chance just because she was having doubts? The voice in her head had been correct yet again – her personal misgivings could not be allowed to stand in the way of something that might be able turn Boq and Fiyero back to normal, however unlikely she believed the attempt's chances of success to be.
When the Scarecrow and the Tin Man finally arrived, Elphaba was still more than a little unsure of herself, but she was also determined now to at least see her idea through to the end. However, she felt obliged to make sure that they both knew what they were getting themselves into, and to give them every possible chance to back out if they had doubts. She had no desire to be turned upon yet again for casting a spell on someone without his full understanding and consent.
"Are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this?" she asked, looking them both directly in the eye. "I'm not going to lie to you – it could be very dangerous. These spells have never been done before; they haven't even been tested to make sure they work. There's no telling what might happen."
"I'm sure," asserted Boq immediately. It seemed that, for the moment, anyhow, his desire to be human again had overridden his distrust of the green girl.
Fiyero nodded his agreement. He said nothing, but the expression that she found when she met his eyes spoke more eloquently than any words could have done. He trusted her implicitly, and that fact would not change, no matter what the outcome of the spells. Elphaba appreciated his confidence more than she could possibly put into words. She just hoped that his faith in her would not prove to be unwarranted.
Encouraged by their complete lack of hesitancy, she drew a deep breath and acknowledged their affirmative answers with a nod of her own, indicating that she would comply with their wishes. She then proceeded to explain how she intended to go about putting the spells she had created to use. The transformations would probably be quite painful, she warned apologetically. In fact, the metamorphoses from human beings into Scarecrow and Tin Man had likely been excruciating as well, but by the time the original spells had taken effect, Boq and Fiyero had both already been unconscious, and so had remained oblivious to the pain.
Taking their previous experiences into consideration, Elphaba had come up with a way to avoid any discomfort that her spells might cause as they worked. Before she cast the spells to change them back, she would simply render them both unconscious once again, this time with a sleeping charm she had found that was intended to aid people with insomnia. She would have preferred a simple sleeping draught over having to use magic, as its potency and the amount used would have been much easier to control. However, a potion would not have had any effect on the Scarecrow or the Tin Man, since they were not made of flesh and blood, so it was the sleeping charm or nothing. And Fiyero and Boq both assured her in no uncertain terms that, as far as they were concerned, the first of those two options was highly preferable to the second.
With their consent obtained, she had no more excuses behind which to hide. She was going to have to cast her spells and deal with the results, whatever they turned out to be. Knowing that her last chance to change her mind had now passed her by, if indeed such an opportunity had ever truly existed, Elphaba forced herself not to dwell on anything beyond the actual casting of the spells. As Braeyn had once told her, not even the most powerful sorceress in the world could cross a bridge before she came to it, so what was the use in trying? The present had more than enough worries of its own without her piling the concerns of the future on top of them. There would be plenty of time once the spells were cast to agonize over everything that could go wrong. And it wouldn't do anyone any good at this point for Elphaba to give in to her fears.
So, although she felt far more nervous than either Fiyero or Boq seemed to be, she managed to present a calm, confident front. It was best for everyone that she do so, she told herself. They certainly didn't need her adding her own anxiety to what they already had to be feeling. If she wanted them to believe in her, she had to at least give the impression that she believed in herself.
And the mask of self-assurance that she donned seemed to serve its purpose, or at least it convinced Glinda and Boq. However, knowing her as well as he did, Fiyero was not so easily fooled. Sensing the uneasiness that was running rampant beneath her thin façade of serenity, he slipped a reassuring arm around her shoulders. Elphaba leaned into him slightly, giving him a grateful look. It was a welcome change to have someone from whom she could draw strength, rather than being the one who was expected to lend it to others.
As complex as the spells were, Elphaba knew that a considerable amount of time would be required for them to take effect, so she suggested that they wait until late in the evening to begin. This would allow the magic to work overnight, and then Boq and Fiyero would, barring any unforeseen circumstances, awaken in the morning as they would normally do to find themselves restored to their proper human states. The others accepted this proposition easily enough, and the group settled in to pass the time as best they could until night arrived.
The minutes and hours seemed to tick by with unbearable slowness. But finally the sky outside the window grew dark, and Elphaba decided that now was as good a time as any to get to work. After having Glinda make sure that the hallway was clear, the green girl gestured to Boq to follow her into another guest room next to the one she had been occupying. She had him lie down on the bed, and then cast the sleeping charm. It worked perfectly, and within moments the Tin Man was deep in slumber, oblivious to everything around him.
Satisfied that he was now safe from any pain involved with the transformation, Elphaba pulled out the sheet of paper where she had copied her spells. She had spent so much time poring over the incantations that she was sure she knew them both by heart, but this was no time to be overconfident. Extending her free hand towards the prone figure on the bed, she read Boq's version of the spell aloud, pronouncing each word slowly and clearly. She felt the energy of her powers gather and then dissipate, and she knew that, for better or for worse, this portion of her task was complete.
Leaving Boq alone to let the spell do its work, the green girl returned to the room that had become hers, where Fiyero was awaiting his turn to become human again. Casting this spell, she knew, would take far more courage than the last. But despite all her misgivings, she refused to acknowledge this moment as any sort of farewell. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder for a moment, but that was the full extent to which she allowed herself to express her fear that something might go wrong. After that, she suppressed her emotions with an effort and refocused her mind on the task at hand.
Elphaba recited the sleeping charm again, with the same result she had obtained the first time. Then it was back to the paper that contained the spells she had created. This time she read the second of the two incantations, every word imbued with her desperate desire for the spell to work. Finally the last syllable escaped her lips, and she let out a long, weary breath. She had done everything within her power. Now the only thing left for her to do was wait. And she knew that the waiting was going to be the most difficult step of the entire process.
Once the spell was cast, she stood over Fiyero's unconscious form, swaying slightly on her feet, one hand to her forehead in a futile attempt to ease the headache that was rapidly forming. She had never been one to let physical weakness get the better of her, but several straight days without sleep, combined with the amount of energy it had taken to cast two complicated and very powerful spells in a row with no rest in between, had left her far beyond exhausted. Her body was screaming at her to just let herself collapse and sleep until she wasn't tired anymore. But her mind refused to allow her to shut her eyes. This wasn't over yet, and she knew she wouldn't be able to relax until it was.
So she began to pace. Back and forth, back and forth she went with slow, measured steps, lost in her thoughts, barely conscious enough of her surroundings to change her path every so often so she didn't wear a trail in the carpet. Several times she nearly gave in to her fatigue, but some last vestige of willpower always gave her the strength to put one foot in front of the other one more time, and then once more, and once more after that…
The night wore on, every hour just like the one that had come before it. There was nothing to mark the minutes or seconds, so time became distorted, vague, irrelevant. It was impossible to tell whether it was passing quickly or slowly, but she never stopped her pacing, letting her footfalls mark the moments as they elapsed.
She wasn't sure whether it felt like an eternity or the blink of an eye later, but eventually the blackness of the night outside the window began to fade to somber gray. The sky began to lighten as dawn approached, and Elphaba finally allowed herself to abandon her ceaseless movement. Every bone in her body aching with exhaustion, she settled down in the window seat to watch the sunrise. The pastel colors cascaded upward from the eastern horizon, staining the sky with their pale hues. There was something oddly soothing about the way they blended into one another, melting together so seamlessly that she couldn't tell where one color ended and the next began…
The next thing she knew, someone was shaking her gently by the shoulder, calling her name. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell them to go the hell away and let her sleep. But then she realized that she recognized that voice, and her heart began to race as all at once the memory of the previous evening's events came flooding back. Either I'm dreaming, she concluded, hardly daring to finish the thought, or the spell actually worked. Banishing her exhaustion as much as she could, she forced her eyes to open… and found herself looking up into a pair of very familiar sapphire blue eyes, set in a handsome face that she had never really expected to see again.
"Fiyero…"
She stared at him in disbelief for a clock-tick or two, hardly daring to hope that what she was seeing was real. Then the next moment she was on her feet and they were holding each other as though their very lives depended on it, his arms drawing her tight against him and her face buried in his shoulder, and she was laughing and crying all at once, and for the first time in a long time everything felt right. Fiyero was as human as he'd ever been, all of his handsome features just as she remembered them. She had memorized every detail of that face in moments, and yet she knew she would be more than happy to see it every day for the rest of her life.
She clung to him fiercely, drinking in the sensation of feeling his heart beating against hers. Relaxing her embrace after a moment to run her hands over his shoulders and then rest them with the palms flat against his chest, she marveled at the warmth and pliant firmness of the human flesh beneath the fabric of his shirt. Fiyero reached out and softly traced the path of a tear that was coursing down her face, letting his hand linger, caressing her cheek as though he could not get enough of the feel of her skin beneath his fingers.
"I'm dreaming," she whispered. "This is a dream. It has to be. It's far too good to be real."
"But it is real," he replied. "Or if it isn't, then we're apparently having the same dream."
"But if it's real, then that would mean that one of my spells actually worked like I meant it to."
"And that surprises you?"
"Immensely."
"Elphaba! Of course it worked. I never had any doubt it would."
"Well, that makes one of us, then," she quipped.
Fiyero laughed lightly and shook his head. "It worked," he reiterated firmly, "and this is real. It's not a dream. I promise."
Elphaba fell silent for a moment or two, considering his words with a slight frown. Then, with a thoughtful expression, she pulled him down and kissed him deeply. When they eased apart, she smiled against his mouth. "All right, you win. Maybe it's real after all."
He grinned at her acquiescence. "I knew you'd see it my way," he informed her, sounding proud of himself for convincing her, and proceeded to return her kiss in kind.
She pulled away after a few moments, stifling a yawn behind her hand. "Sorry," she apologized sheepishly.
"There's no need to be sorry," he assured her. "If you're tired, you should sleep."
"But I don't want to sleep. I just want to be with you."
"I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her again, softly this time. "Get some rest, love. You've earned it."
She would have protested farther, but she was simply too tired. So she merely nodded and requested, "Stay with me?"
"Always."
With this assurance, she let him lead her over to the bed and watched as he pulled back the covers and sat down, propping himself against the headboard. Taking a seat next to him, she curled up in his arms and settled herself comfortably against his chest, cuddling as near to him as she could get. He pulled the blankets up over them both, then pulled her close and held her, and she laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes to breathe in the familiar scent of him and to bask in his warmth and the feel of his arms around her.
"Promise you'll still be here when I wake up?" she murmured, already nearly asleep.
He pressed his lips briefly to the top of her head. "I promise, Elphaba."
She smiled slightly at his affirmation, and finally permitted herself to drift off into a deep, peaceful, and much-needed sleep.
The next chapter is THE END, so don't miss the final installment!
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