Now and Then

by Crevette

Change is hard. Especially when it is change not of your own choosing. But sometimes second (or third or even fourth) chances come around. The question then is what do you do about them? Run, or grab hold with both hands with everything you've got. Canon until the end of series 4. AU after that (just as though Fire never happened...)

25. Chapter 25: Dancing Queens

I have to give a big shout out to Miss Marauder who managed the beta turnaround for this chapter in record time. Merci mon amie!

I also have to thank you all for sticking with me. I know this is one hell of a slow burn! It is incredible to me that this story is still collective new favourites and follows and I welcome everyone who is just finding it. I do get a kick, though, out of the fact that y'all review much more when I am tormenting our girls than when I let them be happy. Sadistic lot you are! For those of you who have reviewed as anons, and whom I cannot thank directly as a result, please know that I appreciate every one!

I hope you all enjoy this next instalment. Let me know either way, will you?

.

~o0o~

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Chapter 25 - Dancing Queens

Emily can't sleep. She doesn't even really want to try. She is too wrapped up in revisiting her evening with Naomi. It went better than she could have possibly hoped. Even the drunken prat pissing on the railway platform when they disembarked at Bank Station to change to their respective tube lines could not dampen their spirits. They got through the night and thoroughly enjoyed it and each other's company. It could have been so uncomfortable, but it wasn't. At least, it wasn't uncomfortable once Emily got over her embarrassment at losing all control over her feet and brain when she first saw Naomi standing there in all her blonde glory. Fucking hell that was overwhelming, but in such a good way.

The whole evening was like the best date ever, except they never called it that, and it didn't end with a kiss. Emily wishes it had, but she understands why it didn't. At least she knows there will be another chance for that when they meet again to watch Airplane, although it has to be Naomi's initiative. She is so pumped by the fact that they have already agreed to another movie night that she has hardly been able to sit still since she got home. There is no point in even trying to sleep until 4 or 5 a.m. anyway, because of her night shift sleep schedule. But the high she is on from the night's events would keep her awake regardless.

So, she spends the time reminiscing about the evening – everything from how Naomi's leg felt pressing against hers in the cinema and on the train, to her hilarious outraged comments about the film, to the sheen of her skin under the dimmed lights. But most of all she keeps day dreaming and imagining other possible "date" options. Her hopes and wishes keep her up for a quite a while until exhaustion finally claims her and she drifts into a deep sleep, visions of Naomi ever-present.

She dreams. In recent months all the dreams that she can remember have been nightmares, but this one isn't. She is not alone in the dream, it's true, but she is not afraid. She can see someone backlit by a beaming sun, its radiance almost too much to tolerate. She can't see the face because of the brightness, just glimpses of a halo of golden hair and a scent that means comfort and home. But she knows instinctively that she is safe.

There are fleeting touches, the feel of lips and skin against skin, a warmth and a softness and a gentleness in each caress that brings tears to her eyes and a hitch to her breath. Emily never wants to let this moment go; she wants to hold on to the dream and wrap herself up in the feeling forever. She wants to savour every nuance and hue, every glimpse and sensation. There is only this, only now, and she wants to stay immersed in it forever.

She is just reaching out her own hand to touch the shadowed companion of her reverie when she is startled out of her slumber. She groans her frustration at the abrupt shift from paradise to the cold reality of a ringing telephone way too early in her morning. She tries to block out the sound of her mobile and burrow deeper into her bed, futilely struggling to hold onto the dream and the woman in it. But all too quickly her brain catches up to what her ears are hearing and worry sets in. Everyone who would have her mobile number knows that she sleeps during the day. A ringing phone at this hour is, for her, just like the phone call in the middle of the night for other people – terrifying, a harbinger of bad tidings – and Emily immediately starts to worry that something is wrong, that someone is sick or hurt.

Groggily she reaches for the phone with clumsy hands. She bobbles and drops it, still caught up in the sensations and emotions that her dream has provoked, strangely mixed with the paralyzing trepidation that the phone call as prompted. She manages to pick it up, finally, just before it flips the call to voicemail, and she swipes across the screen to open it.

There are screams on the other end of the line, and her breath catches. But she realizes quickly that these are happy screams - heralding good news, and not bad, thank god.

"I got it! I got the job!"

Emily registers the words first, and then grasps who is calling. Naomi. A completely thrilled out of her mind Naomi is on the other end of the phone. The sound of the blonde's voice so close on the heels of the delicious dream almost causes Emily to moan out loud. She gets a hold of herself and focuses on Naomi's words.

"Can you believe it, Ems? I got the fucking job!"

"That's fantastic, Naomi! You must be over the moon."

"Well, as someone wise once pointed out, the old one wasn't really me."

Emily smiles. This is a big change from Naomi telling her it was none of her business anymore where she worked during that first, painful meeting between them. And, coupled with the afterglow of the sweet dream and the incredibly positive news, it has Emily dancing on air, her excitement rivalling Naomi's own.

They talk a bit more about the details – Naomi's new boss had called that morning offering her the position. The pay isn't great to start, as expected, and the hours are likely to be long, but Naomi doesn't care. She'll be able to help people who could not afford it otherwise, to really make a difference in their lives, and she cannot fucking wait.

Emily is the first person she has told, although Naomi does not let the twin in on that little tidbit. Within seconds of ending the call with her new boss, Naomi had called up Emily's name on her mobile screen. That was her first impulse, to share the news with Emily even before Cook or Gina or Effy. Naomi was stunned when she realized it. She was a little scared by it, too. So much so that she almost changed her mind and contacted someone else, anyone else. But in the end her logical brain over-rode her hesitation (at least, that is what Naomi told herself). Emily's name was already on the screen, and Naomi was going to end up telling Emily anyway, so it would be stupid not to call at that point, wouldn't it? And anyway, who would really care if Emily is the one Naomi calls first? So went Naomi's internal dialogue as she pressed the screen to connect the call. Of course, Naomi cares, whether she admits it or not. And Emily would too if she knew.

"We have to celebrate." Emily's request breaks through Naomi's musings and pulls her back to the present.

"I'd like that." And she would. She absolutely would like to celebrate with Emily.

"What are you doing right now?" Emily asks the question despite how exhausted she is. She knows that she should try to get more sleep, but this is too important a moment to pass up for that. There is a brief pause before Naomi responds, and the disappointment is evident in her voice when she does.

"Shit. I'd like to do something with you, but I can't. Not right now. I have to go in to the Centre and fill out a ream of personnel paperwork so I can start tomorrow. And you should go back to sleep anyway. You sound tired. I probably woke you, didn't I? Of course I did. Shit. I'm sorry for that."

"No, no. I'm glad you did. I'm so happy for you, Naomi."

Emily's sincerity is obvious to Naomi, which makes it all the harder for the barrister to say what comes next.

"The next few days will be crazy for me, too, what with trying to figure everything out and get my feet under me."

Naomi does not want to end the call without firming up some sort of plan, so she offers, "Maybe Friday night?"

Emily is disappointed that they won't see each other before then, but she understands.

"Sure. I have to work that night, but until my shift starts I am all yours. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there."

Naomi almost answers "anywhere", but realizes what she is doing and catches herself just in time. The ghosts of their past pop up in the oddest ways sometimes. It knocks Naomi a bit off stride, but she manages to recover, suggesting their most frequent meeting place as a solution.

"Why don't we meet at the bakery at 7 and we can figure it out from there?"

"Sounds good. I can't wait. Good luck tomorrow!"

"Thank you, Em. See you soon."

After the call ends, Naomi spends a moment wrapped in thought. It is a bit daunting how much she wanted to share this news with Emily, and how much she is looking forward to celebrating with her; daunting and oh so familiar. She shakes it off, knowing that she does not have the time to sort through that particular web of emotions at the moment. She has other calls to make and she needs to get changed to head to the Centre.

Her next call is to Gina, after which she texts Cook and Effy in turn. The answers are just what you would expect. Gina is ecstatic and cannot say enough about Naomi's choice to dedicate herself to helping those in real need and how proud she is of Naomi for following her heart and using her knowledge for such a worthy cause. She is so happy for her daughter, and for once in her life Naomi accepts it without reluctance or discomfort. She accepts the love her mother conveys and she takes great comfort in the fact that Gina is so pleased for her. They talk for half an hour, both burbling with excitement and optimism. The usual friction and distance between them is absent. There is an openness and affection between them that is new and different and, Naomi reflects, strangely welcome. When they hang up Naomi can't help but feel cared for and loved. It is a good feeling.

Cook, by contrast, simply texts back in his own inimitable style: "Fucking ace! Let's party!" That, too, leaves Naomi feeling loved and cared for, because she knows that in Cook-speak that is exactly what it means.

It is Effy, though, whose response hits most home. "Well done. Proud of you."

Naomi reads and re-reads that message quite a few times, the idea that Effy is proud of her resonating deeply. That means something coming from Effy. It means a lot, because Effy would not dream of saying it if she did not absolutely mean it.

More importantly, it prompts Naomi to acknowledge that she is proud of herself, too. It has taken a while, but she has come full circle back around to making choices that are right for her, instead of just convenient, and that connect with what she holds dear instead of what the material world fatuously deems important. She has a job, one that matters, where she can use her brains and her skills and her passion to make a real difference in real lives every day. How fucking cool is that?

Her first morning at the Centre is a bit of a blur: She is shown to her new office, glad that for privacy reasons it actually has walls; she finds the loo and the staff kitchen and gets her parking pass and ID tag; she meets her colleagues, most of whom she can actually imagine getting along with pretty well; and she is assigned her first 8 case files - all of this before 10 a.m. She is elbow deep in file reviews an hour later when her desk phone buzzes to signal an intercom contact. She picks up and hears the receptionist inform her that there is a delivery for her at the front desk.

Naomi manages to find the reception area with only one wrong turn along the way. She wracks her brain the whole way for what the delivery could possibly be since she has only just started and no one would know yet to ship anything to her there. When she reaches reception at last she is finds a huge bouquet waiting for her. When she gets close enough, she can see that it is actually made of fruit instead of flowers, some dipped in chocolate, others in yoghurt, still more left plain, their vibrant colours the most prevalent part of the presentation. What is most amazing is that they are arranged to mimic a floral display.

Naomi can hardly believe what she is seeing through the clear plastic wrapping. It is glorious, absolutely dripping with strawberries and grapes and melon and pineapple, kiwi and star fruit and a few bits and bobs that she can't actually identify. She can hardly bring herself to pick it up, so worried is she that she might disturb the arrangement. When she does, it is surprisingly heavy. The smell that seeps out from the under the cover instantly sets her mouth to watering. It is an act of extreme patience to resist diving in to grab a morsel to eat until she is back in her office. She makes two wrong turns on the return route, but in her defense she is quite distracted by the array in her arms, and her curiousity about who sent it.

She places it with loving care on the corner of her desk, and gently lifts the wrapping to expose the fruit below. She spots the card right away, and delicately lifts it up. There are no markings on the front, so she quickly opens the envelop and pulls out the card. She recognizes the looping, sprawling hand-writing right away and her heart thrums with excitement.

I know you think cut flowers are a "travesty against nature", so I went with this instead. I hope you enjoy. I am so happy for you! Good luck on your first day. E. xx

Emily.

She must have made the order in person so that she could fill out the card herself. Naomi is deeply touched by the sweet gesture and the thought and consideration that so obviously went into it. She eventually places the "bouquet" in the lunch room to share with her colleagues, but not before she first takes a picture and saves it to her mobile. She fills a plate with her favourite bits – all chocolate dipped - and heads back to her office with a skip in her step. The note is still on the corner of her desk, and she picks it up to read it again as she puts down her plate and takes her seat.

Naomi cannot get over what a kind thing it was for Emily to do. She runs her right index finger along the cursive script, taken in by the effect of seeing that handwriting again. Naomi leans forward to place the note against the foot of her monitor so she can see it as she works. She loves that Emily has reached out in this way. It is such a generous and caring gesture of support. Naomi wishes that she could see the twin that night to say thank you in person, but knows that she will be spending her evening reading case summaries and briefing notes as she tries to come up to speed quickly on her files. She settles for sending a text instead, attaching the picture of the arrangement with the caption, "YUM!"

Thank you so much, Emily! It is beautiful and it all tastes great. The whole office is jealous! You are very sweet to do this. N.

Naomi hems and haws and then reaffirms her decision to leap in and have faith. She adds xxx to the message and hits send, smiling at the thought of what Emily's reaction will be when she sees the pseudo kisses.

The rest of day and the week seem to take forever to pass. Naomi works long hours desperately trying to overcome the learning curve, which feels an awful lot like a brick wall at times. She is not used to being uncertain in her work, and it is quite unsettling for her to feel that way now. The job is very different from what she did before, and it is more than a little scary to be starting effectively from scratch. Still, she takes comfort from the little white card with the messy, flowing handwriting, and from the nonsense, silly texts that Emily has started to send her at various points in the day. The texts are anything and everything from a description of Emily's lunch (Tacos! Photo included), to a picture of a pretty bird Emily saw in the park (nicknamed Maggie the Magpie, of course), to Ellen's latest Classic Joke Wednesday pun (truly terrible). The texts silly nonsense for the most part, and yet they mean everything, They give Naomi a sense of connection and grounding when she most needs it. She will never understand how Emily knows just what to do to calm her down, but Naomi definitely appreciates it. Things are changing so fast, and in ways Naomi never dreamed of or hoped for. Everything in her life seems to be coming together for her and it is pretty fucking wonderful.

Naomi even likes her boss, which is awfully close to a miracle where Naomi is concerned. Leah Raven is a sassy, no nonsense, and brash woman with a heart of gold. If you think Regina Mills without the high-end wardrobe, the stare-worthy cleavage or the murderous back-story, you'll get the basic idea. Leah is smart and determined and impressive as hell. She knows her job and she is very, very good at it. She doesn't take crap from anyone, but from what Naomi has seen so far, she is fair and pretty reasonable as well. Naomi is as certain as she can be that she is going to love working with this woman.

The only real hiccough in the working arrangements is that Naomi does not have an assistant yet. That is making it hard for her to manage the logistical aspects of her job, let alone the clerical ones. The initial plan was apparently for her to share support with the senior immigration lawyer, but both he and the assistant in question vetoed that idea. There is simply too much work to be done for that to be manageable. During a meeting to discuss options, Leah asks Naomi if she knows anyone she might like to have in the job. If not, the Centre will advertise for the position.

Naomi immediately thinks of Sam, and how much happier her ex-assistant would be working here, where she can help people instead of corporations, and where the environment is casual enough that she can wear her tragus and cartilage piercings and stop covering up her various tats – in other words be herself instead of having to live up to the Jenkins Rawlins dress policy. Pay at the firm has always been pretty shit for the secretaries, so it might not even be a much of a money downgrade overall. Sam would be able to save the cost of the high-end clothes the firm expected their staff to wear, and the dry cleaning bills that came with them. She would also get free parking at the Centre, which would save her a small fortune each week if she comes. It might be doable, Naomi thinks, and it would be so great to have someone she knows, likes and trusts as her assistant. Sam fits the bill on all counts. Naomi decides that it can't hurt to ask, so she does.

Sam is surprised but happy to hear from Naomi, and intrigued enough about the Centre and the possibility of working with Naomi again to agree to a tour. She drops in on Friday during her lunch break. Naomi introduces her to Leah and some of the other co-workers and shows her around, explaining the kind of work Sam would be doing if she agreed to take the job. Sam is seriously tempted, but she has to go crunch numbers to be sure she can afford it before she gives an answer. Naomi can tell, though, that Sam is hooked. The Centre is closer to her home, a lot less stuffy and stuck up, and Sam would be treated as more than just a cog here. Naomi genuinely believes that Sam will be much more comfortable and happy working at the Centre. She really hopes that Sam thinks so, too. They say their good-byes and Sam promises to have an answer for Naomi early the following week.

At the end of the day, Naomi tidies the office with great satisfaction. It has been a tough, but good, first week, and she is already starting to feel a little bit less at sea. Plus, she is on her way to meet Emily at last, and she can hardly wait. They haven't seen each other since the movie night, although they have been texting a ridiculous amount. Some awkwardness has trickled back in between them, though, despite the virtual contact they have been keeping. It is obvious from their first hello when they meet just outside the bakery doors. It is a little stiff and a degree of uncomfortable that both thought they were past. They each feel their hearts plummet just a bit as a result. They have no real plan except to spend time together, and this time there is no movie to help distract them. The pressure of that strikes them both, but they put on brave fronts and make their way into the shop determined to find a way to enjoy each other's company and this evening that they have been looking forward to all week.

When they enter the shop, Naomi is delighted to see that Sue is there. The second owner is not usually around in the evenings, but she is dropping off a clean shirt for Casey, who had managed to drop a tray of dirty dishes a little while earlier, including a mug half-filled with leftover macchiato that splashed all over her when it careened off the display case on its way to the floor. Casey is in the back changing when they arrive, but pops out in time to hear the introductions.

Both older women tease Naomi about saving the world in her new job, calling her Wonder Girl, which makes her blush scarlet. Naomi is embarrassed but also pleased at the affection they show her. It still feels odd to receive such uncomplicated and unconditional friendship, but Naomi welcomes it with a returned fondness of her own. That fondness is tested, however, when Sue and Casey start digging overtly for dirt on what exactly the relationship between Naomi and Emily might be. They eventually show some mercy when it becomes clear just how uncomfortable Naomi is at putting a label on things. Emily notices, of course she does. But she is not surprised. She knows Naomi and her caution is not unexpected. While Emily certainly wishes that Naomi was ready to claim a relationship with her, she knows that it is still too soon for the blonde to make that leap. That doesn't mean it doesn't sting, though. Casey catches the dip in Emily's mood, and immediately shifts the subject and focusses on making her feel welcome; something the baker does with the ease of many years' experience.

Sue and Casey insist that the drinks are on them as a celebration of Naomi's new job, and they share big hugs all around – including Emily – before the two girls head to the tables to sit down. The time spent with the older women has thankfully broken the ice and the awkwardness between the younger two as well. Despite the minor blip about the status of their relationship, both are smiling as they take their seats, carefully balancing their bounty until they can place the mugs and teapots down on the table.

"They are lovely, Naomi. And they obviously adore you."

"I adore them, too, despite their apparent inability to go five minutes without giving me a hard time. They have been very good to me."

The conversation shifts to Naomi's work, which is an easy and natural subject to begin with, and Naomi begins to relax a bit more with each minute spent in Emily's presence. That helps Emily start to relax as well.

"It is amazing, Emily. I actually get to help people - real, honest to god people who need me. I don't even mind the fact that there are pretty much always a few kids running around. It's a bit chaotic, but it's weirdly nice, too."

Most kids who go to the Centre with their parents just play in the small room set aside for just that purpose under the watchful eye of the Centre's receptionist. But some are too shy or frightened to be away from their parents so they stay with them in Naomi's office. Naomi has found that she actually enjoys having them around. They are an extra reminder of what she is working for, and more often than not they are cute as a button to boot.

"These kids are real troopers, Em. They've already lived through a change of country, which would be enough to throw off almost anyone. But they've also often lived through truly horrific events and upheaval in the countries they were born in, more than anyone should face. But they are so resilient. And they are so bloody brave! They're not embarrassed to try to speak a new language even if they struggle a bit, or to ask questions if they don't understand. Often the older ones understand English better than their parents, so they end up translating for us. But they really just want to be kids again, you know?. And in some small way, I'm going to get to help them have that. It's… Jesus, it really is amazing to have a chance to do that, you know?"

Naomi already knows that helping those families and the children who are such an integral part of them will be her favourite part of this job. And the times when she can't help will be the worst. She talks, and talks and opens her heart and her mind to the women she most wants to share them with and tries to let her words overwhelm her concerns and insecurities. She is not sure she is good enough to do this work. And the price of messing up is so very high.

"I just really hope that I can be good enough. There is just so much need, you know? I have to be good at this so that I can help them."

"You can do it. I know you can. You can do anything, Naomi."

The parallel to their beginnings strikes them both. But this time it doesn't hurt. This time it feels good, and Naomi welcomes the faith that Emily has in her. It is unexpected given all that has transpired between them, but so familiar that the comfort it provides is instantaneous and absolute. Naomi can feel the unqualified affection that Emily is sending her way. She can feel how glad Emily is to share in this with her. And she embraces it, using it to help overcome her own uncertainties.

Emily, for her part, is enthralled, falling back under the spell of the passionate, committed Naomi before her. It sparks a little flame of excitement that she's been missing for a very long time. She isn't just falling for Naomi again. Oh no, she has already fallen - head over fucking heels. Her reaction to Naomi's excitement about the job is just further proof of that. She should be scared of that, Emily thinks, of being so emotionally invested so very soon, when Naomi has given no indication that she is on the same page. She has been so scared of that all along. But she's not scared now, not anymore. She cannot believe that the woman before her would ever choose to hurt her on purpose. This Naomi seems so much more aware of how her actions affect others, so much less navel-gazing than the Naomi Emily used to know. It is wonderful to see. But beyond that, Emily is starting to believe that Naomi may want whatever this thing between them is becoming just as much as Emily does. Their texts and chats, and the warmth she feels when Naomi looks at her, are all building a picture of Naomi wanting more. Emily just wishes that Naomi would actually say so.

"I'm sorry for babbling on... I just really like this job and I… well, I just really wanted to share it with you."

Emily feels her heart explode when she hears that. She grins shyly and ducks her head, hiding behind her fringe so Naomi won't see just how much her words have meant to Emily. She knows it is written all over her face. When she has managed to compose herself, Emily glances up at Naomi from under her lashes, and says, "Me too. I'm glad to have the chance to share this with you, too."

She decides as soon as she catches Naomi's eye that she should let the blonde see exactly how important it is to Emily to be part of something so significant in her life. The only reasons to hide it would be fear and the desire to protect her heart from the heartbreak Naomi could inflict. But this thing that is building between them will never work if Emily holds back. If she continues to worry that it will all fall apart instead of keeping the faith that they can work through their issues and build something solid together, well… if Emily can't find the strength to go "all in", Naomi sure as hell isn't likely to. So Emily lowers her shields and opens herself up to the woman she loves. She lets her elation shine through, holding nothing back. She smiles a smile that lights up the room and her eyes convey the happiness that she feels and the obvious affection that she has for the woman sitting across from her. She is absolutely captivating and Naomi's heart literally skips a beat, overjoyed to see that open, joyous look on Emily's face again - the shy but still certain look that says that Emily is just where she wants to be and with exactly whom she wants to be and she could not be happier in that precise moment. It is a look that was once directed Naomi's way on a regular basis, and Naomi did not know just how much she missed it until it was directed back at her again. Naomi breaks into her own beaming smile in return, brimming with contentment and a growing sense that this is right, and they may actually be able to get beyond their past and make this work.

Of course, Naomi being Naomi, she cannot just let her emotions take the lead unrestricted. Her brilliant little brain enters the fray and brings with it a degree of caution – pragmatism, Naomi would call it – suggesting that the two of them still have a lot to work through before they can give in to the ever strengthening pull between them. In moments like this, with the energy bubbling between them, it would be way too easy to dive too fast and too deep. They need to go slowly and keep talking through all that came before and what might come next if this is going to work. And so, while she does not want to break the mood now that they have made it past the initial awkwardness, Naomi knows that she needs to shift them out of the perfect little bubble that they have just fallen into, no matter how enticing that bubble might be. With more than a little reluctance, Naomi leans back in her chair, using the increase in the physical space between them to help create a little emotional space as well.

"Are you hungry?"

Emily is a bit disappointed in the change of direction, but she can understand it. She gets that it is not a dismissal. On the contrary, it's an invitation to spend more time, so she is quite happy to agree.

"Yeah. I am, actually."

Naomi grins and teases, "No great surprise there," before asking, "Wanna grab a bite?"

Emily just grins back, too used to her appetite being a subject of Naomi's entertainment to take any offence.

"Yeah. I'd love to."

They immediately grab their jackets, Naomi rushing to get ahead as though it is a race, and then looking back and gleefully yelling "beat ya!" as she scampers for the door. Emily just shakes her head at the antics, never altering her stride. Naomi waits for Emily to catch up, and they call out their good-byes to Casey, who is working in the back, before they push through the doorway onto the pavement. It is colder when they get outside. The wind is biting. But the skies are clear and the moon is bright and neither of them really minds the chill on such a beautiful night. Naomi hops up and down in place, with her hands pressed deep into the bottoms of her coat pockets.

"So. Where to?"

Emily is surprised at the question, having assumed that Naomi had a place in mind. It takes her a moment to respond, and before she does, Naomi interjects, practically bouncing with unexpended pent-up energy now that they are out in the night air.

"Come on then. I'm hungry!"

"Right. Yes. Let's…"

Emily is struck by an idea. It is odd – really odd for them - but it could be fun if Naomi will let herself let go a bit, and it has the added virtue that it will help blow off some of the blonde's manic steam.

"Well, if you're up for it, there's an Arcade around corner. They make surprisingly good pizza, and…"

As Emily watches Naomi's expression for her reaction, she is almost certain that Naomi will say no, but she really hopes she won't. It would be just too much fun to see the normally reserved barrister let loose. There must be something in the air, because Naomi actually agrees, and does so with a huge smile and an unexpected degree of enthusiasm.

"Why not? Pizza sounds good, and it's been a while since I hit an arcade."

Emily is delighted, but she is not finished with her suggestions. There is one game in particular that she would love to get the blonde to play. The visual image is already making her grin.

"They have a twin player set up for Dance Dance Revolution…"

"Whoa! No. Not doing that. No way! Anyway, it might be a bit much after pizza, right"

Emily snorts her response, intent on goading Naomi into agreeing. She knows the blonde well, and playing on her pride is definitely the way to go in this case.

"Alright then. If you're scared of losing…."

Emily begins to walk away, but as she does, she tosses a cluck back over her shoulder every second or two to where the blonde is trailing behind her. It gets an immediate reaction from Naomi, just as Emily had planned.

"Oy! I'm no chicken!"

Emily ducks the playful swat that Naomi's aims at her, and jumps just out of reach.

"Prove it!"

"Fine! I will. And because you dared to cluck at me, there'll be no holding back, I warn you. I am going to absolutely kick your ass!"

Emily can't help but giggle at Naomi's feigned anger. She adores this goofy side of her, and is thrilled at the lightness of their back and forth exchange. They continue to talk shit at each other as they make their way to the Arcade, and by the time they arrive, they are more invested than they should be in gaining bragging rights by winning the Dance Dance challenge.

They warmth of the arcade is welcome when they enter, and makes the din of the bangs and bells and raised voices easier to tolerate. They head directly to the snack bar area, dropping their coats on one of the free tables on their way to line up. They decide to split a Margherita pizza, which Emily swears is as good as any in the City. It does not take long before they are digging in, and Emily's faith in the food is vindicated when Naomi audibly moans at the first bite. While Emily is delighted that Naomi likes the food so much, the effect of that moan on her is more than a little distracting. Fucking hell, she is going to have to start investing in new pants on a regular basis now that is she spending so much time with Naomi again. She is also going to have to stock up on batteries given that she and Naomi are a long way from being intimate with each other again. More's the pity.

The crash from someone dropping a tray in the kitchen startles Emily out of her thoughts, and she grabs a slice of pizza for herself and digs in. It really is ridiculously good, especially for a place like this. She thinks it is the sauce that makes the difference, but really she doesn't care as long as she gets to eat it. When there are only crumbs left on the wax paper between them, and both women are holding their bellies in contentment, a wicked gleam comes into Naomi's eyes. She leans forward across the table, looking Emily dead in the face.

"Right. On with it, then. I am so going to own you at this!"

Emily laughs, offering a muttered, "I seriously doubt that," in return, and the two head to the games area, laughing and giggling and hip checking each other as they go, the trash talk in full swing between them. They have to wait when they find the game, as a couple of what look to be 10 or 11 year olds are tearing it up. Naomi and Emily find themselves cheering on the girls as they rack up impressive scores, their feet zipping between the blue and pink arrows in a blur. They are both delighted when the winning girl first hugs her friend and then takes a deep bow – arm flourish and all – to acknowledge the applause for her win. It is beyond cute.

Of course, neither Emily nor Naomi is anywhere near as good as the kids, but they give it a decent go once their turn arrives. Naomi takes a minimalist approach at first, keeping her movements contained and sharp to maximize her chances of hitting the right marks. Emily takes a different approach. She goes wild, arms flailing and legs flying and her laugh – that gorgeous, joyous Emily Fitch laugh – singing out across the crowded space. Her enthusiasm is infectious, and before long not only is Naomi taking the whole thing far less seriously, throwing her whole body into the dance moves just like Emily, and trying to make the smaller women break concentration and laugh, but a small crowd gathers to watch the fun. They are, after all, two very pretty women who are obviously having a ton of fun. Who wouldn't want to watch that?

They score high enough to work their way through all five songs before the game automatically buts them off. By the time the music stops they are both short of breath, sweating and utterly exhilarated. It is more pure fun than Naomi has had in ages, and she can't even be upset that Emily managed to beat her in the end. She half-heartedly asks for a rematch, not entirely sure that she has the stamina to go another round. Emily checks her mobile and reluctantly has to decline. It is getting late and she has a show tonight.

"Sorry, Naomi. I'm going to have to go. Anyway, I want to leave as the victor and keep the bragging rights!"

Naomi finds Emily's boasting endearing, but still fakes umbrage and sternly demands a rematch. She can't keep a straight face, though, cracking up at the concerned expression that falls across Emily's face.

"Bitch!" Emily swats Naomi for teasing her that way. Then she rests her hand gently on Naomi's forearm, and promises, "Any time. Any time at all."

They are both loathe to leave the arcade and the wonderful time they have had there. But the real world beckons, so they regretfully turn and head out door, pausing briefly on the sidewalk. It is a strange feeling to say good-bye this night. Neither one really knows how to go about it. It feels like they are so more than friends again, but yet they aren't really together either. As wonderful as the night has been, the lack of clarity about what is going on between them brings an unwelcome discomfort. Emily waits for a sign from Naomi as to what level of contact is okay. She is relieved when Naomi finally speaks.

"So, see you again soon, right? I mean, you do owe me that rematch…"

"Yeah, absolutely."

Naomi is feeling almost as awkward as Emily is. She, too, can feel that something has shifted between them, but she is not entirely sure what to do about it.

"Right. Good. That's good."

Emily hates the idea that their perfect night is going to end this way, with both of them feeling off balance and ill at ease. It is stressing her out, so she bites the bullet and asks the question that has been in the back of her mind all night.

"Naomi, what are we doing?"

Naomi is taken aback by the question. That much is obvious from the way she freezes where she stands, her movement hitching for a fraction of a second before she puts on a mask of calm. She had not expected to be faced with that question so soon, and certainly not as they are standing in the street.

"…Taking our time? And just… spending time together…"

Emily can't accept that answer. It tells her nothing new, and it does nothing to help her understand what Naomi wants from all of this.

"Yeah, but towards what? I mean, I like this, don't get me wrong. I like spending time with you. A lot, actually. And if us being friends is what you want that's fine, Naomi. But I need to know if that's all it will be. Before I get in too deep, you know? Like, I kind of need to know what you want from me, and from us. If you can tell me."

Naomi understands why Emily is asking. She knows that the tiny brunette is in a precarious position. Emily has made her feelings known and Naomi hasn't, at least not in the same way.

"I know."

Naomi takes a long, deep breath, breathing it back out again to settle her nerves before stepping closer to Emily. She takes Emily's hands in her own and looks at them where they are joined. Then she looks up to Emily's beautiful face.

"I know you need answers, Em. And I am going to be honest here. I don't think we can be just friends. I don't really think we should try."

Emily knows at some level that Naomi is unlikely to be breaking things off – not after the night they just had together and the tenderness of her touch. But in her gut… Jesus, in her gut Emily is just terrified that this is the end. She wants to tear her hands out of Naomi's, but when she instinctively tries, Naomi clutches harder, refusing to release her. Emily's eyes dart to Naomi's, flicking back and forth rapidly between them as she looks for some clue, some hint as to where Naomi is going with this.

Naomi takes another step closer, bringing their joined hands up between them until they rest just over her breastbone.

"I want to try for more, Emily. I want to see if maybe we can make something work."

Emily can't hold back the tears of relief that flow at hearing those words. Naomi sees them glistening in the street light, and disentangles her right hand so that she can gently wipe the tears away.

"I've missed you, Emily. I've missed us. But, I need us to go slowly. Very, very slowly. I need to take it one step at a time so that I can feel safe with it, and with you. Can you understand that? I need us to make sure that we are both okay with what we're doing at every step. I don't want either one of us to get hurt because of this. Does that make sense?"

Emily nods, wiping yet more tears from her face with her free hand before she whispers, "Yes. Yes that makes a lot of sense."

Naomi is pretty sure that she knows the answer to her next question, but she needs to hear the words out loud. She needs to hear Emily say it.

"Is that, um…" Naomi has to stop to clear her throat. "Is that what you want? To try for more?"

Emily places her hand on Naomi's bicep, and stares her directly in the eyes as she speaks. She knows that Naomi needs reassurance and she wants more than anything to give her that.

"Yes. Very much so. We can go as slowly as you need, Naomi. But I want as much of this as you are willing to give me. I want this. I want you. So much."

Naomi blushes and nods in return, a small, hopeful smile gracing her features as she dares, once again, to believe. "Okay then."

They stand together, hands entwined under the moon and the stars, neither one feeling the cold or hearing the passing traffic. They stand together and hold tight to the moment, and to the closeness between them. Finally, Emily speaks.

"So. This is good, right? I mean. This is really good…"

Her beaming smile is back, and as Naomi gazes down at her she cannot remember another moment since Emily kissed her in Freddie's shed that felt as perfect as this one. Unfortunately, as with all perfect moments, it cannot last. The chimes of Big Ben ringing the hour cause Emily to shift, pulling out her mobile to check the time even though she knows what the bells have to mean.

"Shit. Fuck. I'm sorry. I really have to go…"

"No, that's okay. I understand. It's not a problem, Ems."

"Okay. So I'll see soon?"

"Absolutely. Why don't you text me when you wake up tomorrow and we can sort out the details?"

"Sure. Yeah. I can do that."

Emily knows that she should go, but she doesn't know quite how to say good-bye. It feels as though the rules have just completely changed between them, but neither of them have the new rule book. Naomi feels it too, but has no doubt about what she wants to do next. She wants to hug Emily, to wrap her in her arms and hold her tight. They have hugged before, it's true. But this time it is different, it is somehow more.

Naomi takes the last half step towards Emily and pulls her in, wrapping her arms firmly around her shoulders and waist. The sound of Emily's soft gasp makes Naomi smile. It is good to know that Emily is so affected by the contact. They stay in the embrace, each relishing the feel of the other in their arms and the sense of peace that comes with it. Naomi eventually begins to pull back, after too long and not nearly long enough. Before she does, she shifts downward, just slightly, until her lips graze Emily's ear. Her voice is soft and gentle when she speaks, a whisper filled with promise and affection.

"Take care, Em. Have a good show."

Then Naomi drops the briefest of fleeting kisses on Emily's cold cheek, her hand gliding softly along to cup the twin's peaches and cream neck as she does, before she steps back and breaks the connection. It brings echoes of their last kiss in the cab, but this one is oh-so-different. Naomi is sober this time, for one thing. And this kiss is intentional. It is knowing and it is purposeful. It is entirely fucking deliberate and just loaded with meaning and possibilities.

It is breath-taking.

It literally steals Emily's breath away, leaving her standing stock still in both shock and awe.

It is perfection.

Emily has no time to respond before Naomi turns and walks away. She couldn't have pulled her head together enough to say something anyway.

This kind of moment is becoming a thing for them, she realizes. Each time they part ways there is something - a kind of deeply laden burst in time in which little is spoken but so much is conveyed; a gentle, caring connection just before they part for the night. Each time they seem to get just that little bit closer to where they need to be. Each time a future for them seems just that little bit more possible. And each time Emily wants it just that little bit more. Now she knows that Naomi wants it just that little bit more, too.

That makes it the kind of moment the Emily would be happy repeating every night for the rest of her life.

.

~o0o~

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I have a 10-year-old niece who LOVES Dance Dance Revolution. She also happens to be unbelievably good at it. I have never played it myself, but I have watched her play the home version countless times, and that sense of unrestrained joy that she exhibits when she plays was the exact dynamic I wanted to have for Naomi and Emily in this chapter. I just love the visual of them just busting loose and having fun. I hope you did too.

Crev