Hey everyone! So I don't really have a long AN for you today. My day was really uneventful, all I did was finish a book, go shopping play GTA watch walking dead and watch skins. So ya. Boring. Anyways…. Thanks so much for all these great reviews! Keep it up!

Song: letsss dooo "Make Me Wanna Die" By the Pretty Reckless.

Okay that's all for now!

Chapter 24: Think

Jace had been trying to get a hold of me. He was calling the hospital and showing up during visiting hours. I always refused to see or speak to him. I had told the twins, Sarah, Izzy, and even Dr. Welch what had happened and they all were very comforting.

I tried to forget about him, focus on getting out. But it was hard. I put on a good show, acting happy and getting my weight up so I could get out, but in reality I just wanted to die.

The week was the slowest week I had ever gone through. I was hurt and had to act like I wasn't. but it was Thursday and I was being released in the morning. Izzy visited me twice since Saturday and had taken all the things Jace had let me borrow. She tried getting my blanket back but he wouldn't budge. She was over right now, helping me pack for my release in the morning alongside Sarah.

"Jace really misses you, he just lays around, goes to school and comes straight home." Izzy said, folding a t-shirt and putting it in my bag.

I sighed, fighting the urge to cry over missing him. "I don't care."

"Are you sure you're ready to be released?" Sarah asked, putting some books back in the bag.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "You see I don't think so." I looked over to sarah, listening to her words. "I've seen this before. Your face can hide everything. But your eyes, they are an open book. You're hurt. You miss him and you're hurt and sad and slipping back under. But you can't. you just can't. Clary you still have a chance. I lost my chance a long time ago. I fucked up. Bad. Same with the twins. So do this for us. Live the life that we will never be able to. Please. When we get out we want to see you happy. And when you come back, we only want to see you here during visiting hours, not because you tried to kill yourself again. Got it?"

"She's right." Izzy agreed, I sighed.

"Okay." I nodded in response. They both smiled and I was instantly enveloped in their arms. It was a lie. I couldn't promise any of that. I would get out and my life would return to the crap it was.

I looked over at the clock. Visiting hours were almost over.

"I better go.." Izzy said, obviously thinking the same thing as me. I nodded and she hugged me. "I will be here in the morning to pick you up" and then she was gone.

I sighed and finished packing with Sarah before going off to dinner. I was still on EDP but not as strictly. When I was done I took my med's and got to sleep.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

When I woke up the next morning the twins and Sarah were standing over me and there was a needle in my arm.

"What the fuck.." I lazily said.

"Release day sweetheart." Olivia smiled using the needle to drain a small bit of blood from my body.

I nodded and Sarah helped me up. "When am I leaving?"

"I just have to put your vitals in your report, get your things and you're free to go." The nurse smiled.

"Okay." I nodded, half a smile on my face.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, say your goodbyes." Olivia said, pushing the cart out of the room.

Suddenly three pairs of arms were squeezing me tight.

"Promise to come visit us?" Shannon said, sadness in her voice.

I nodded. "And you visit me when you get out."

"If we ever get out." Sarah L sighed.

"You will." I assured, pulling away. "You guys are going to get better as fast as possible and you are going to come visit me. I can only keep my promise if you guys promise me this."

They all nodded, causing me to smile.

"We wrote all our phone numbers in your notebook." sarah P told me.

"So you can keep in touch when we get out." Shannon continued.

"And we can all hang out. If we get out before the end of the school year, I will be going to your school as a sophomore." Sarah L said

"And we will try to convince our moms to let us go there." The twins smiled.

Soon Olivia was back, handing me a small plastic bag. "You ready?"

I nodded, hugging my friends and grabbing my bag. I followed Olivia out the door and down the hall, waving goodbye to the people I passed. I pushed through the doors, giving Olivia a hug and turning into the arms of Izzy.

She put her arms around me and we walked to the elevator, riding it down and making our way to the front door.

"Listen Clary, before we go out there I should warn you-" she was cut off when the doors opened and someone was running to me.

Soon lips were soft on mine and I began to melt in. no. "NO" I shouted, pushing him away.

"Clary just listen to me." Jace whispered

"No!" I yelled. "You promised! You broke your fucking promise!"

"Clary listen to him." Izzy interrupted.

I sighed. "Fine."

"I had to." he told me. I rolled my eyes, failing to suppress my tears. "Sebastion, if I told him things would explode and when you came back, they would, everyone would, make your life hell. He brought the girl over and I tried to resist. But I couldn't. Clary, He hates you. Like he really wants you to die. If you came back and I had told him, trust me he would find a way to make sure you died, for 'corrupting me'. please Clary I had to do it. You would have fallen back under and there would be no way to bring you back. I know it sounds stupid, but if he found out everything then… I know what they are capable of. I used to be capable of it until you changed me. I can't lose you."

"Well what would have happened if we did get together Jace?" I said sternly. "Would you have kept it a secret?"

"No. not for long at least." he sighed. "People would find out the right way, at the right time."

I collapsed into his arms, crying.

"Shh. Shh it's okay." he comforted, kissing my head. "I love you."

"No." I pushed away, drying up my tears. "I- I need to think. I can't just forgive you and jump back to where we were. I need to think."

"Take all the time you need." he assured me.

I nodded then walked over to the car, getting into the passenger seat beside izzy, watching him stand there as we drove away."

And there it goes! I know its not long but I'm tired and it took forever to write. I hope you loved it though!

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~Karissaa