And so the festival day arrived. All was going well, Shizuo had a chance of scaring people away while he and Kadota could watch Izaya in his best maid mode ever, complete with plenty of 'master' and 'certainly', not to mention those radiant smiles that would make a diabetic order a sugar soaked parfait and drop a generous tip on his way to the hospital. Izaya's idea of combining a café with a haunted house proved as chaotic as was to be expected and many a client left screaming, tea cups flying, as soon as Shizuo popped out of a curtain. Which he did a lot because then Izaya had to bend over in that short pink skirt of his to pick up the pieces. To make matters worse Erika and Walker ran around like the bouncy children they were, one dressed as Pikachu and the other as Doraemon. Kururi made a silent appearance and was taken as the ghost of some dead child by the clients while Mairu snatched a few bites here and there and thus made a certified debut as a junior vampire.
Izaya finished his shift and waltzed to the corridor where Kasuka was waiting. In an angel outfit, tinfoil halo and all. Izaya immediately picked him up and carried above his head.
"Kasuka-chan is an angel! Whee!"
Izaya was busy doing this when he spotted his dear Yagiri Namie. At which point he put down Kasuka, angelic as he was, and waved shyly.
"Yagiri-san, I didn't think you could make it. This way, if you would be so kind as to follow me."
Namie prized polite reference to her person. Still, she looked up and down Izaya.
"Why are you dressed like that?"
"Oh, it's because it's a maid café. And haunted, too."
Izaya was highly nervous as he led Namie to the best table. He took her orders, glad that at least her brother was not around, and skipped away to get her the best strawberry milkshake he could possibly get. Kadota studied the girl and wondered what to do about it. Meanwhile both Heiwajima siblings had some ideas as to that. Shizuo beat Kasuka to the spot by putting on the scariest act possible. Namie blinked and merely said,
"While you're at it, bring me a glass of water."
Izaya gasped as soon as he spotted Shizuo's antics.
"Shizu-chan, what are you doing to Yagiri-san?"
"Friend of yours? Doesn't look too bright, Orihara."
Shizuo jabbed a finger at her.
"Ha! So you're still on family name basis! Let me tell you something, Yagiro whatever-"
"That would be 'Yagiri'."
"-Izaya-kun here is hot as hell in bed but you'll never find out any of that because he's gayer than gay!"
Izaya's chin dropped to the floor as did the milkshake and tray. Shinra literally face palmed. Kadota was both glad, the more Shizuo botched up the better, and anxious, because clearly Shizuo had done something with Izaya at least. Namie merely blinked once more.
"I am not gay! What are you doing?"
"Sure you are. It's okay! How many children do you want, I was thinking one of which."
Izaya nearly tripped on his heels.
"Yagiri-san, pay no attention to him. He's the resident idiot, all classes have one. I am not gay."
Namie raised an eyebrow.
"You're not?"
This time Izaya did trip.
"You thought that I was gay?"
"Why yes. The jacket, the rings and the fact that you are very cute. I cannot imagine you being straight. If I knew that you were not gay I would never have gone to the movies with you. It would be unseemly. Well then, I'll be on my way now."
And with this Namie left. Shizuo beamed happily.
"And don't come back!"
His happiness was short lived because Izaya kicked him right between the legs.
"You're horrible, horrible! Mairu, bite him!"
For once she actually obeyed. Kasuka took the opportunity for kicking his brother in the ankles. Repeatedly. Izaya then spun on his heels, tears fluttering on his wake as he turned around and fled the scene. Leaving Shinra to comment,
"This is something straight from a silly manga, it really is."
And just like one he found Izaya crying on the rooftop.
"Yo, Izaya-kun. Why so down?"
Izaya turned tear smeared eyes to him. He had not bothered to change and sitting as he did next to the fence the skirt rode up quite a lot and hints of lacy underwear could be glimpsed.
Shinra sighed. He did not know how Kadota had become involved in the diatribe but it was about time someone explained things to Izaya. Shinra sat by his side.
"I think you got the wrong idea here. They don't hate you. They actually like you."
Blank stare.
"I liked them too until they became just horrible to me."
"I don't mean just 'like'. They 'like like' you."
Izaya blinked.
"Are you stammering too?"
"Let me put it this way, they 'like' you in the same way you 'like' Yagiri-san."
Izaya jumped to his feet.
"No way!"
"Yes, way."
"How do you know this?"
"More like how did you manage to miss it…"
"But- but- that doesn't make any sense!"
Shinra nodded.
"I concede to that. But love works in mysterious ways! Who can tell where it blows and what- hey, I'm not done talking yet."
Izaya was already at the door.
"I'm not going to forgive them just like that but if you say they like me in that way…"
Izaya's smile grew sly.
"…then I think I may some fun yet. Neh, Kasuka-chan?"
Kasuka stepped into rooftop.
"Yes. I help Izaya-nii. Get rid of Onii-chan, then the other guy."
Izaya and Kasuka did some sort of bizarre happy dance. This was how Shinra realized that all of his friends and their relatives were, indeed, absolutely insane.

The End