Chapter twenty three: Blushing

NPOV

May 19, Friday

I was at the Cullens today, preparing some assignments for my class which started in two weeks. Jasper was helping me out, by searching the internet. All questions that he found an answer for on the net, were replaced by other questions. No cheating in my class. He finished most of his assignments so didn't need my help. Alice, Carlisle and Esme were there too. The others were at the garage. My productivity would probably increase if I wasn't distracted all the time by the thoughts that I randomly picked up, but being alone is not my thing, so I chose to work slow instead.

I haven't heard from the Denali coven in a while. We should invite them over, to thank them for their hospitality towards Tina, Emmett and Rose.

Carlisle immediately discussed this idea with Esme, who was instantly enthusiastic.

"You're not paying attention."

"Sorry, it's hard. With the super hearing. And the mind reading adds to that. I begin to understand Edward, there should be an off button."

"I agree. Because right now, I'm doing all the work here." If you had an off button, I didn't have to guard my thoughts all the time, I would work faster too.

"Aren't you distracted by your gift?"

"Not anymore. Now it comes naturally to me. Imagine a color blind person, suddenly seeing everything, asking you how you can handle all the colors in a landscape, or in a crowd. You're simply used to it." He shrugged.

"I guess so."

Some thoughts however I wouldn't get used to. Private thoughts that I'm not supposed to hear.

"Now look at this. These are the answers I found to question number seven. They're not complete, so if you add some sub questions, they shouldn't be able to find it."

"Thanks Jazz. Can we leave it at that for today? I'm not in the mood anyway."

"Sure." He saved our file and closed the laptop. She's tired of me. I should probably go.

"Let's just talk some," I said.

He smiled at me. Alright, I won't go.

"I met William yesterday."

"That would have been interesting. So how was it?"

"Surprisingly good. He was nice, nothing more."

"Of course he was. He's always nice." to you "But how were his thoughts?"

"His thoughts were nice as well, nothing to worry about. He was a little scared though. I think I showed off a bit." I grinned.

"I bet you did." I can just imagine you throwing that puppy around.

I cracked up at this image and he laughed along.

Wish I could make him laugh like that.

My smile vanished and I looked at Alice, suddenly feeling guilty. Alice had no idea I heard, and she continued reading in her fashion magazine. Jasper looked at me questioningly.

I continued as if there hadn't been an interruption. "I was surprised a bit that William didn't seem to have a problem with losing his alpha status."

"That's odd."

"Yeah. I think he was relieved that he wasn't in charge anymore."

"I thought he loved the power. You reckon he was pretending for you?"

"No. He doesn't know I'm a mind reader. These are not things he said, but that I picked up."

"He doesn't know? That's interesting. You could question him."

"I'm not sure how much I'm ready to find out."

"Not on his plans with you," I'm sure that little pup would just love to… "On his plans with Jacob I mean."

"Oh... You know, I really don't get why strong men as yourself and Jake feel threatened by an eighteen year old," I said, teasingly.

"Well, wolves are possessive and jealous." He's not exactly crazy about me either, is he?

"Really? He doesn't show." I meant that about both his statements.

"Good." I feel it anyway.

He doesn't need to be jealous. He should know I'm all his. I show him enough.

"In any case, William is not jealous. I even had the impression he loosened up on his hostility towards Jake."

"Must be Jake's dominating alpha genes."

I blushed at his choice of the word dominating and he noticed.

So he's dominant, huh?

I was saved from answering or trying to ignore that, when Emmett busted in. Followed by Tina.

"Ness! Guess what! He took me for a ride in the Bugatti, what a rush!"

"Tina, we can run faster than that car," I chuckled.

"I know, but still, there's something so sexy about a machine that is so powerful."

"And that has such expensive leather seating," Edward added, stepping in with an angry look on his face.

"Relax bro, if you took a second longer to look into our minds, you would see that all the action was outside the car."

"I choose not to look at all, thank you very much."

We so would have shredded it to pieces if we did that inside the car.

Edward cringed at Emmett's addition and I laughed. Sometimes the mind reading is kind of fun.

Not all the time however.

That night was movie night, and Edward and Bella were taking a beach walk. This is the perfect opportunity for Emmett to taunt me. He can't get enough of the blushing vampire act, and he tries his hardest to make me shy whenever. Purposefully using thoughts that I don't care to repeat if anyone asks me why I'm blushing.

I was in the couch between Jake and Jasper, and Emmett chose a different couch, from where he could check his success rate.

I tried to focus on the movie, but every now and then, some thoughts were leaking through anyway.

Hey Nessie, do you want to know why Tina enjoyed the ride so much? That girl just loves to give head while driving. She's a wild thing! There you go. One point for Emmett.

Damn, focus on the movie again.

Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale. And the faster I drove that car, the harder she sucked, I love that bugatti.

I gave him an angry look, but he just smirked at me. Jasper turned his head towards me and raised his eyebrow.

Great, blushing cheeks and an audience.

You should try it too sometimes Nessie, I bet Jake would appreciate that very much.

Yuck Emmett, you're my brother, you shouldn't think things like that.

Or take a ride with both of us. I know Tina would love to repeat that make out session you two once had and who am I to deny her?

"Emmett, do you have to? I'm trying to watch the movie here." My empath hero to the rescue. I sent him some thankfulness.

Anything for you babe. More than you know.

Now I blushed again and this time Emmett raised his eyebrow. Wonderful.

Sorry. Jasper added.

I tried to relax and focus on the movie again. But now I wished Emmett would distract me from the realization that hit me.

I realized that Jasper was getting to me.

I know I said that if he could live with it, I would too. But I'm not used to being adored so much.

Of course Jake adores me, but I'm allowed to fall for him, right? I'm not allowed to fall for Jasper. Not again.

But he was getting to me anyway. He didn't do it on purpose. Every time he thought something sweet about me, it was all spontaneous, but that made it all the more real.

I looked at his hand in his lap. The skin that was marked with scars, just like the rest of his body. And I found myself wanting to take that hand in mine. I wanted to give something back to him. Even though it wasn't enough. Even though he had Alice and was happy. And these thoughts were dangerous.

Ever since me and Jake were together, I never looked at anybody that way again. And I have no need to. We are perfect together and he gives me everything I want.

But Jasper…

I don't know what it was about him. It confused me.

And he could feel it, because he wasn't paying attention to the movie either.

What is she feeling? She's all over the place. Is it something I said? Usually when I feel something this strong, it's directed at me. Are these feelings good or bad? Who is she listening to?

He clearly didn't know what I just realized.

Now she's relieved. That's good I guess.

I need to get it out of my head. If we're going to teach this summer class together, I can't have this. I know where it led me in the past.

Suddenly a different voice was sipping in.

Of course he had to sit next to her. They're together the entire day and now he needs to be close as well. And in fact none of them is watching the movie. I wish I never knew what happened between them five years ago.

I looked up at him, and he looked busted.

Sorry honey. You know it's hard on me sometimes, with the affair and all, I'll try harder to be nice.

He was perceptive.

I hated to hide from him. He was my wolf, he knew all of my secrets when I was growing up, and even after the years we spent apart, I still confided everything in him. I really really hated this.

Maybe I should just be honest. About everything. And tell him I would try harder too.

AN: Do you think she should tell him?