Chapter 25 : Sweet Caroline
"Uh… hi Kurt. Mercedes," Mike hesitantly greeted. Had he made a wrong turn or something? Mercedes and Kurt leaned on either side of the doorframe, watching him like possessed gargoyles. After an awkward silence, they looked at each other before stepping out onto the landing, closer to Mike. As they moved to pass him, Mercedes stopped.
"I think you know what I want to say to you, Twinkle Toes," she said in a low, threatening voice.
"Have her back by midnight or her parents might castrate you," Kurt added quietly.
Mike glanced from one to the other, feeling like he really was between a rock and a hard place. What have I gotten myself into? Lucky for him, Mercedes and Kurt were quick to move on, heading towards Kurt's SUV parked nearby. Mike breathed a sigh of relief when they had gone, then finally looked back towards the house, where Tina looked absolutely horrified.
"I'm soooo sorry about that, Mike," she squeaked, trying not to bury her face in her hands. Mercedes would come back and kill her if she messed up her makeup so soon. But there she was, shrinking from embarrassment in the doorway.
He smiled, taking a good look at her. If he was perfectly honest, he would have to admit Kurt and Mercedes did some good work. "Don't worry about it, Tina. You look really nice, by the way," he offered her a hand as she looked up in surprise.
Tina gingerly took the offering, closing the door behind her. She tried to shake the instinctive shyness that had overwhelmed her as soon as the door had opened. Allowing herself to really look at Mike, she smiled slightly, "You don't look so bad, yourself." It was a little bit strange. She knew that he was a cool guy and all, but he looked as though she had dressed him herself. Shaking the feeling, she followed Mike to his car.
Awkward silence filled the small vehicle as they made the short drive to the restaurant that Mike had managed to find on such short notice. It was a little fondue place, fairly fancy by high school standards. And apparently fate would not smile on them this day. Their server came to seat them, and it was a tall, lanky man who instantly gave them a knowing smile as he approached.
"Ooh such a lovely couple! Come with me, let's put you in one of our more… private booths," he beckoned, leading them through the maze-like restaurant to a little three-walled booth. Mike and Tina looked at each other for a fleeting moment before sliding in on opposite sides. "Now when you are ready to order, just open the curtain, I will be with you as soon as I can, hmm?"
Curtain? Tina looked around, feeling a little panic. Then the creepy waiter was gone, and a hanging curtain was pulled to separate their table from the rest of the restaurant.
"Ummm… okaaaay," Mike mused, eyeing the curtain suspiciously. He looked over at the terrified Tina and felt a little bit guilty. "I guess we look too good to get a normal table," he joked, getting a little smile out of his companion.
Another uncomfortable silence fell on them for a few moments. They distracted themselves with the menu for a while, idly chatting about mundane topics. And then they realized that they had to summon the waiter. "I really don't want to do this," Tina admitted, looking pleadingly at Mike. "That guy creeps me out." They shared a short laugh at this, and Mike nodded after a second of consideration.
"If you really want, pretend to be mute or something. I'll take care of him," he assured, tentatively pulling open the curtain. "I would just keep his open, but I have a feeling our waiter would pester us every five minutes," he muttered, looking out into the hallway.
She sighed, propping her head up with her hand, "You're probably right," she agreed. "And I don't think I would survive that."
Before they knew it, the lanky server was back and fawning over them, "Well if it isn't the handsome couple? So what can I get for you?" His flamboyance and enthusiasm was sickening, and it took Mike a lot of self control to order with a straight face. He finally managed to get everything right, and the waiter praised his choices as if they were winning lottery numbers. "Sounds fantastic, I'll get your first course out as soon as possible, and just open the curtain when you're ready for the next one!" he excitedly instructed, using a strange sing-song voice as if he was insinuating something.
To Tina's great relief, the waiter disappeared to fetch their food. She finally let out the breath she'd been holding, and looked over at Mike with gratitude in her eyes. He simply laughed lightly at her, shaking his head.
"You know, at first glance, the guy reminds me a little of Kurt," Mike mused, desperate for conversation.
Tina snorted, "You obviously don't know Kurt very well."
Mike simply shook his head. "Nah, I don't. Even when we did the mash-ups, he mostly just wished he could be on the girl's team."
"Well you can't blame him," Tina said with a shrug, "The guys team had four football players, Artie, and Kurt. At least the girl's team was balanced. Three Cheerios, Rachel, Mercedes, and Me. Plus, Cheerios might be bitches, but the jocks are just cruel. I mean really, dumpsters, pee balloons, and nailing furniture to the roof?"
Mike winced as she listed all the unjust things the football team did to the lower social classes. He thought for a minute, and nodded slightly, "I guess you're right. Though by now I hope we don't count as jocks to Kurt and Artie anymore, especially Finn."
Tina tilted her head slightly, "You didn't hear what Finn did to Kurt when he chose football over glee?"
Mike's brow furrowed, "No, I didn't hear about that," he was intrigued now. He thought he would hear about something like this. But then again, he didn't know Kurt at all.
"The team made Finn slushie Kurt," she started. Mike looked like he was going to interrupt, so Tina held up a finger, "but he hesitated. So Kurt did it himself. Taking one for the team, I guess."
Mike looked at her in astonishment for a while. Maybe he should get to know Kurt, "Wow…" he whispered.
"Oh another thing you might not know about Kurt- he messed up the Defying Gravity audition on purpose," she added, waving one of her unoccupied fondue forks at Mike.
His face returned to the confused state, "Really? Why?"
"Apparently his dad got a call the day before saying his son is a Fag. His dad knows he's gay, or course, but having someone else call like that, it was like a threat. And Kurt didn't want to put his dad in an uncomfortable situation. Plus, it's not hard for Kurt to forget everything the jocks have done to him. I'm sure taking a dumpster every morning would warrant quite the grudge."
An opportunity. Mike took it. "What about Artie? I think I know him better than Kurt, but I would argue that the jocks have done worse things to him, yet he doesn't seem to hold any sort of grudge."
Tina took a hard look at Mike. It seemed like a loaded question, the way he had asked it. But the subject was a soft spot for her, so she relaxed, playing with the rim of her water glass. She seemed saved by the bell- or in this case- the creepy waiter.
The lanky server ceremoniously presented them with their melted cheese fondue with as much fanfare and awkward conversation as possible. Tina went silent again, giving the burden to Mike, who handled it quite well. She was impressed. Or maybe she just had a very low tolerance for awkward, creepy waiters. After another compliment to their couple-ness, he closed the curtain.
"Looks delicious," she diverted.
Mike smirked slightly, "Oh no you don't. You still need to answer the question."
Tina groaned quietly, suddenly interested in her water glass again. She refused to look up at Mike while she spoke so she didn't give anything away. With a deep breath, she began, "Artie… he doesn't really hold grudges for stuff like that. The jocks attack him because he's an easy target. It's not really personal. If it were personal, he might get more upset."
"Like the stutter thing?" Mike couldn't help it, he was curious. He could tell he hit a sour note though, because her eyes shot up to glare at him like poisonous arrows.
"Yes, like the stutter thing," she admitted through gritted teeth. But then she felt guilty, and looked down again, "What the jocks do to him… it kills me every time. Locking him in the port-o-potty, tying him to the flagpole, leaving him abandoned without his chair… it's the kind of thing that would drive a normal person insane. But Artie somehow manages to see past it all, to know that it was something that came with the chair, and there's no point getting into a big fit about it. And he knows that they do it for social status, so he doesn't hold it against them," the fondness in her voice started to shine through the more she spoke.
Mike was enjoying watching her face. She had one of those looks. The telltale signs of a lovesick puppy. He had to keep her going, "But didn't Artie booby-trap Karovski's locker to get back at him for stealing his chair and glasses?" He couldn't really say why he had such an interest in Tina and Artie's relationship. Maybe it was to prove that abnormal relationships can work, too. Yet for whatever reason, Mike was invested. Both literally and figuratively (his money was on the choir room).
A small smile stole Tina's face as she gently shook her head. "No…" she started quietly. "He didn't get back at Karovski for the flagpole thing. He did all that because Karovski tried to get me hurt. For Artie, it is personal when you attack one of his friends," she concluded before gingerly eating a piece of cheese-dipped bread.
Mike smiled at her, "He's a pretty cool guy," he mused, looking to spear a piece of apple for the fondue.
She nodded once before a listless expression came to her face. She sighed heavily, "Yeah…" she simply agreed, looking off at nothing for a moment before noticing Mike's knowing smirk. Jumping slightly, she snapped out of it, changing the subject, "So what about Matt? The only interaction I've had with him is when he practically tackled me to get me away from Karovski's cronies. I've given you my Kurt and Artie notes, it's your turn."
Mike gave a nod, and they finally delved into interesting conversation. They swapped notes on all of the glee clubbers. The awkwardness was gone as they laughed freely at anecdotes and misconceptions. They managed to get through most of their meal without too much trouble from the waiter, though when he presented the dessert menu, he was very very suggestive about it.
So- in their newfound comfort with each other- Mike got the brilliant idea to mess with the guy. He slid to the far wall of the booth and beckoned to Tina, "Hey Tina, come over here. We're going to freak out the server."
She grinned and slid next to him, whispering, "What's the plan?" as if they were secret operatives on a mission.
"Just follow my lead," he whispered back before pulling the curtain open a little to summon the server. He looked her in the eye with a little smirk, "Oh and don't freak out."
She suddenly got a little nervous, having a very slight idea of what he was planning to do. Scooting closer until her legs were flush with hers, Tina anticipated the loud, obnoxious voice to return. It was Mike who spotted the lanky man approaching. He quickly took a hand and pulled Tina's legs across his knees so she was halfway on his lap and held her with one arm around her waist. She looked like she was going to exclaim something in surprise, so Mike shut her up in the only way he knew how. As the waiter went to pull the curtain open completely, Mike leaned in and placed a kiss right on Tina's lips.
"Oh my! My apologies!" The waiter cried, flailing his arms a bit. He fretted and stumbled over his words for a moment before Mike broke away from Tina and very calmly asked for the check.
Once the curtain was closed again, he let Tina go, who looked like she had just seen a ghost. Then, she very quickly transitioned to looking like a boiled lobster. She opened her mouth to say something, then just let it close, looking at Mike. Seeing his goofy grin as he tried to hold back fits of laughter, she began to giggle slightly. "Wow… you sure got him," she said.
"Him? Looks like I scared you more than him!" Mike laughed, wiping his eyes. "But yes, we did get him pretty good," he conceded when Tina's gaze turned into a glare. "Okay, okay, let's get out of here," he put his hands up in surrender when the glare didn't fade. They got out of the booth to head to the front of the restaurant. On the way they passed their server, to whom Mike entrusted some cash to pay for dinner.
As they hopped back in the car, Tina glanced at the dashboard clock. It was still pretty early, so she looked over at him to ask, "So where to now?" He gave her a coy little smile as he put the car in gear.
"You'll find out when we get there."
She sighed and rolled her eyes, but she still couldn't help but smile.
Her smile faded a little when they pulled into a little parking lot. "The park?" she asked, wondering if it really was their destination. The place already had enough emotional baggage.
"Yup. You can't go on a date with Mike Chang without going dancing," he pointed out like it was common knowledge. "The places I normally go are twenty-one plus tonight since it's Saturday. So I just brought some music and figured we could have a little privacy." He realized that sounded a little shady, so added, "No creepy waiters."
With a soft chuckle, she nodded. "If you say so." But when she stepped out of the car, the cold air hit her like a slap in the face. Before she could complain, Mike was handing her his jacket. "You're good," she said with a smile, slipping it on.
He laughed a bit while he fished the boom box out of the back of his car. "Can't let a lady freeze, now can I?"
Of course, where's the lady? Artie's voice rang in Tina's head when she heard that comment. She forced a smile while she tried to push the memory down. Not now.
Mike took Tina's hand to lead her to one of the open grassy areas in the park. Tina wasn't as familiar with this side of the park, usually walking there, not driving. Mike set up the boom box and started some upbeat music for them to dance to. Tina was enjoying it, they danced together for a few songs, and then she insisted she see some of Mike's famous moves. In payment, she agreed to do part of the Single Ladies dance. When she was too embarrassed to continue, they were both in fits of laughter, the cold completely forgotten.
"This is the last song," Mike said softly, his laughter fading into a soft smile. The melody started to play, and it was a slow number. With a smile Tina stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder just as he placed one on her waist. Their other hands joined as they began to slowly dance. It was then that Tina realized what Artie had been so scared of. He couldn't do this- any of this. She wasn't even sure if Artie could take her to that restaurant, the halls were so narrow.
With this in mind, she didn't resist when Mike pulled her closer to him. When the song slowly ended, Mike dipped Tina in a cheesy but classic romantic gesture. As they came up, Tina found her lips occupied by his yet again. And this time she kissed back.
There was something they hadn't noticed. Across the park, there sat an empty wheelchair.