Hello everyone,
Since I am taking it easy until my consult tomorrow, I have had a lot more time to write than I usually do. Having pre-written and mostly complete chapters to work with has made things easier, too.
I would like to thank all who have left comments and well wishes these past few days: leelee202, Blue1258, leward1992, Cricklewood16, FriendlyNeighborhoodHufflepuff, durinsdaughter2469btw, Rogue's Queen, Auriene, Doria Nell, daughterofthechief, and Raider-K. Your kind words have brightened my sick-leave.
Also, thanks to all who have been reading this story. As a token of thanks, know that I will keep working very hard to keep these chapters coming—not that it's a chore. I so enjoy immersing myself in Middle-earth.
CHAPTER XXV
OF ELVES AND MEN
Annalyn was waiting.
She beheld him with a weary but expectant gaze, her eyebrows arched in a way that said she was not going anywhere. Not without some sort of answer.
Haldir expected nothing less, of course. In the short time he had known her, he had come to recognize the fiery determination beneath her otherwise gentle exterior. It was an admirable trait, one he had always liked in her, but seeing it now only heightened the tension he felt.
Truth be told, Haldir was not accustomed to this. Usually in command of his emotions, he felt oddly disjointed, his feelings scattered like leaves in the wind.
"You have barely spoken all day, barely even looked at me." Her words. He had not denied them. Haldir had kept his distance all throughout the day, thinking it was best. But now that he looked to her, really looked, all he saw was the hurt in her eyes.
I was never good at this, he thought, recalling another maid, in another time, and how he had hurt her, too.
Setting the sorrowful past aside, Haldir watched the woman sitting beside him, a mortal whom he had grown to care for. She was now facing him, one knee drawn, with her back resting against the tree. Their booted feet dangled high above the windswept grass below. Several paces from the oak tree, their small campfire guttered then righted itself.
"You are a daughter of Men, Annalyn." A poor explanation, he knew, but a start nonetheless.
"And you are an Elf," was her reply, delivered matter-of-factly as she waited for him to elaborate.
It was not so easy, however. To explain meant opening a door that he was trying very hard to keep shut. To be sure, Annalyn had roused something in him. Even now, he could feel his heart constricting in his chest, and secretly wished it wouldn't.
Hindsight being what it was, Haldir should have recognized his growing affection for her, and maintained an adequate distance. He hadn't though. That was the problem.
His thoughts carrying him back to a frigid night, not too long ago, he said, "You once told me that Elves were something of a myth to your people, that we have become mere characters in your stories."
The recollection earned him a smile, dim but genuine.
He continued, "Our two kindreds lead separate lives, it is true, with very few dealings in between. However, there is a reason why our people are sundered. A reason why you and I..." Though his sentence remained unfinished, Haldir hoped she would discern his regret, his desire to spare her.
For an Elf to love a mortal woman, it simply wasn't done.
True, there had been instances where Elf-maids had given their hearts to mortal men, but these were exceedingly rare. Furthermore, their stories were mostly tragic, with great purpose of doom behind their unions.
"While we are both Children of Ilúvatar," he went on to say, "our lives, our fates… They are vastly different and cannot be bridged."
"Bridged?"
For all that they had talked, and all he had shared of his people, the subject of his immortality had never surfaced. Haldir was not certain she knew, and she needed to know.
"If I have caused you pain this day, know that I neither intended nor wished it. In fact, I have wished you joy since we said our farewells that day, when you and your kin rode out of the Golden Wood."
Haldir had never forgotten the way she had smiled at him through the driving rain, how the warmth in her eyes had pierced through the miserable weather around them.
Her voice drew him back to the present. "I am not so easily wounded, Haldir." And yet there was sadness in her eyes.
Thinking he should get to the heart of the matter, Haldir dove in. "I am old, Annalyn. Very old."
Her face worked, trying to make sense of his words.
"I have seen nearly three thousand winters, three thousand summers."
Annalyn blinked at that.
"I will never sicken. I will never age." And unless he was slain, or somehow lost the will to live… "I will never die."
Met by stunned silence, Haldir gave her time to process the information. It was a moment before she could speak. "The stories… They said as much, only I never thought it to be true." Hazel eyes found blue. It was as if she was truly seeing him for the first time. "You're immortal."
A look of amazement was now etched upon her face. But then it began to fade, replaced by something else.
He nodded. Do you see now? he wanted to ask, but saw there was no need. Annalyn understood. Haldir perceived it in her eyes, in the dispirited comprehension that was slowly dawning on her features.
"Three thousand years…" A huff of laughter echoed before dying out. Her stunned features turning serious, she swallowed hard. "You're older than Rohan."
Time stretched on. She was taking it all in, he realised, her eyes lost to the disappearing band of light over the horizon. At length, Annalyn turned to him and spoke. "I have laid no expectation upon you. Nor would I. When I kissed you, I was weary and mournful and immensely thankful that you were there. That is all it needs to be." Her mouth curved a little, but there was no joy in it. "All it should be."
As she sat there, quietly regarding him, Haldir did not know how to feel. On the one hand, he was relieved by her words and the understanding they conveyed. And yet…
Ignoring the pang in his chest, he gave a single nod, looked to the emerging stars, and said no more.
