Chapter 25

Finnegus Found

"The boy has a way with words…"

General (ret.) Jigme Dorji Wengshuk

Harriet's world was stopped. Her brain was stopped. She wasn't even entirely sure she was breathing. Her heart seemed to have quit, too. She was standing in stasis.

The pair kept looking in each other's eyes. There was no wall in Finn's eyes. She felt him trying. He was aching to remember.

But he couldn't.

"This is Harriet," Dad said, standing behind Finn, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "She's my daughter."

"She's beautiful…" Finn mumbled.

Finn's eyes moved over the rest of Harriet, taking in her outfit.

"Beautiful…"

Harriet looked him over in turn. The last three months had wrought a considerable change on his body. Harriet would have expected him to look gaunt like Sirius had, but instead, he looked more akin to Charlie Weasley. His shoulders seemed even broader, and his arms were thicker and more powerful. Harriet also noticed his nose was a bit crooked.

Finn's eyes narrowed. Harriet felt panic and suspicion rising in her mind.

"This is another trick, isn't it?" Finn asked, his eyes moving from face to face.

"No, my boy, no trick," Mr Weasley said.

Mr Weasley's voice was kind, but out of the corners of her eyes, Harriet noticed him and Mr Flamel starting to act on edge, and their hands were drifting towards their wands.

"I'm still in hell, aren't I? Aren't I?!" Finn demanded, spinning in circles, putting up his fists.

"You're not in hell," Mrs Flamel said. "You're safe. This is called Avalon."

"Stay back!" Finn demanded.

"Just relax, son," Dad said, his wand at the ready.

"There's a fecking cat-monster!" Finn pointed at Sebastian. "A demon!"

"He's no demon," Mrs Flamel soothed. "You're safe… the Star has found you, we promise."

Finn's eyes found Harriet's again. Harriet still couldn't move. She couldn't think. The combination of her pain and Finn's fear was paralytic.

Finn deflated. Tears filled his blue but bloodshot, bag-wearing eyes and inexplicably, he sank to the floor. He leaned back against the door frame and broke down.

"I'm sorry," Finn said. "I don't know what I did while I was alive to deserve this but I'm sorry… God, please! Jesus! Mary!"

The room was quiet apart from Finn's despairing sobs. Harriet slowly knelt beside him.

"I can't take it," Finn whimpered. "I can't take more… Stop tempting me! Stop…"

"Finn…" Harriet said barely loud enough she could hear herself.

"I repent," Finn continued. "Sweet mother Mary forgive me… I'll stop thinking the Devil's thoughts…"

Harriet rested a hand on Finn's arm as delicately as she could. Finn looked up at her through wet eyes. Harriet looked back into them, wishing she could will calmness into him, quiet his tormented mind.

Instead, Harriet suddenly had the sensation she was looking in a mirror. She was looking back at her own face, except the bandanna she wore around her neck was instead being pulled tight between her teeth.

"NO!" Finn shouted tugging away and trying to scramble to his feet again. "I won't sin! Won't think those thoughts! Don't tempt me!"

Harriet was staring. What had just happened? Had she seen Finn's thoughts? Did it mean what she now thought it meant?

Sebastian was whispering to Mr Weasley. Harriet watched as Sebastian passed Mr Weasley a small vial. Harriet recognised it as a calming draught.

"Here, lad," Mr Weasley said gently. "Drink this. This'll make the nightmares stop."

"Trying to poison me!" Finn shouted, trying to swat away the vial Mr Weasley was offering.

"No trick," Dad said, kneeling beside him. "No trick… besides, if this were Hell and you were dead, we couldn't poison you. Can't kill you if you're already dead."

Finn digested that.

"We're trying to save you," Dad continued. "Something terrible happened to you, and we're trying to help you get better. There are people who love you and have been worried sick about you who're going to be so happy you're safe."

Dad gave Harriet a little smile before reaching over and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Just like her…"

"Like her?" Finn asked, now unable to meet Harriet's eyes.

"That's right," Dad confirmed. "You're very important to her… you've done amazing things for her in the past. You didn't sin in the past… you didn't do anything to deserve the hell you've been through these last few months… Terrible people did this to you, and we're going to help you, then get them for it."

Finn looked up at Dad. Harriet could feel him starting to calm. Mr Weasley held out the vial.

"Just a quick swig, my boy," Mr Weasley offered. "It'll calm your mind, help you relax. Maybe even get a little sleep. Sleep in a nice, real bed. That sounds nice, doesn't it?"

"Does…" Finn mumbled.

Slowly, Finn reached up a trembling hand for the vial.

"Easy, steady on," Mr Weasley cautioned kindly as Finn took it. "Don't spill."

"Won't," Finn grunted.

He put the vial to his lips and once more his eyes found Harriet's.

So beautiful… you made her look so… the hell is wrong with you…? You meant something to her… she knows you… knew you…

"Please, Finn," Harriet whispered.

Ever so gently, she reached out. Finn didn't pull away as she rested her hand on his cheek. His beard was a bit springy to the touch, but she didn't mind.

"I'll help you… just drink… drink and sleep. You're safe, and that makes me so happy…"

"Happy," Finn mumbled. He looked down at the vial, took a deep breath, and drained it in one gulp.

"There's a good lad," Mr Weasley said.

"Whoa, works fast…" Finn said, his head lolling a bit.

"That it does," Dad chuckled, putting his wand away.

"She's so beautiful," Finn said, still looking back at Harriet.

"Thank you…" Harriet replied; the only thing she could think to say.

"A star… an angel…"

Finn's eyes closed. His breathing slowed. Within seconds, he was asleep.

It was nearly midnight. Finn was still sound asleep, laying on a bed in one of the Flamel's guest bedrooms. Harriet was sitting by his side. She hadn't left since Dad, and Mr Flamel carried him in.

Beside her on the table was the Pensieve. Finn's memories were in her lap. For once, Harriet no longer thought of the memories as Finn. He was really here. He was right there, sleeping mere feet away.

Occasionally he would dream. Harriet couldn't make heads or tails of them. She'd catch images, and emotions. Once or twice her face popped up.

Harriet didn't entirely want to peer into his dreams, but she was having a hard time helping herself. She was exhausted, and it seemed the exhaustion combined with Finn's sleeping mind made it impossible for her not to get flashes of his thoughts and dreams.

"Nnnn… No…"

Finn tossed more. He grunted and whimpered. Harriet roused, fully awake, moving to his side.

"Finn…"

Harriet rested her hand on his forehead.

The room was dark. There was grunting and shouting. Harriet's stomach hurt.

"Fight, Tinker!"

A blow hit Harriet's face. She stumbled backwards into some lockers which clanged loudly.

"I don't wanna…"

It was one of Finn's new memories.

"You wanna eat, don't you?" the shadowy form over her said. "Then earn it."

"Lay off," another voice said. "He's new, mate."

"He's lazy, and a coward. He'll fight other bums but just fucks off in the ring."

Harriet jerked her hand off Finn's forehead, and the vision went away.

"Oh, Finn…" Harriet said.

What had he been through? Where had he been? Was this really Finn lying there on the bed before her? He seemed so different, not that Harriet hadn't expected that.

Click.

Harriet's chest froze. She knew that click. Castillon was right outside the door.

Knock.

The single rap was faint but unmistakable. Harriet rose and walked softly to the door. There indeed was little Castillon, leaning heavily on his fancy cane.

"Good evening, Miss Potter-Dusk," Castillon said, shakily bowing. "I thought I would find you still awake."

Harriet stared at the ancient elf. He did not look older than the last time Harriet had seen him, but he felt that way. He hadn't been quite so shaky, and he looked shorter, more stooped.

"Hello," Harriet replied.

"I thought we might have a little chat," Castillon said.

"I would like that," Harriet replied.

She closed the door behind her as quietly as she could and turned back to Castillon. She was more than a little amused to see he had already conjured himself a tiny recliner, just propping up his oversized feet on the footrest.

"I am dying, Miss Potter-Dusk," Castillon said abruptly.

Harriet's eyes widened.

"I've far overstayed my welcome in this world…" he continued, his already high-pitched voice even wheezier.

"But don't you still have a vial?"

Castillon shook his head. "I took the time to study you while you were here, Miss Potter-Dusk," he said shrewdly, studying her with one large but dim eye.

"Study me?"

"I knew you would be someone who would use the Elixir for a good purpose…" Castillon wheezed. "But also that you would be hesitant to use it…"

Castillon dabbed his wrinkled forehead with a kerchief. "I had no one to give the rest to… and no longer wish to use it on myself. The Flamel name is in good hands with Charles… he no longer needs me."

"No longer needs you?" Harriet asked. "He loves you… the Flamels all love you, they all need you."

Castillon gave her a pitying smile. "Life is meaningless without death, Miss Potter-Dusk… we are all dying; each and every living thing. It is the way of the world. It is a balance. The old makes way for the new…"

Castillon coughed. "The Flamels will be sad, of course, they will. That is unavoidable… Just as the pain I felt when I, at long last, lost Nicolas…"

Harriet could think of nothing to say to this.

"But you… Miss Potter-Dusk… may I call you Harriet?"

"You may."

"Harriet… you are someone special and selfless. I know you will use the Elixir to save another, rather than yourself. That is how Nicolas would have wanted his greatest discovery to be used…"

"Well of course," Harriet spluttered, but Castillon held up a hand.

"However… I knew you would be reluctant to use it while I still live… being the one in the most immediate danger of expiring," Castillon explained, some light finally twinkling in his eyes.

Harriet twisted her lips. He had a point.

"So… that vial you showed?"

"I banked on you thinking if I had more, you would feel more comfortable using the last of it," Castillon explained. "A childish trick, but one I deemed necessary…"

Harriet shook her head.

"So that vial is it? The very last of it?"

"The very last," Castillon said. "Please use it well."

Harriet looked back towards the door to Finn's room.

"I'm afraid not…"

"Pardon?"

Castillon gave Harriet a sad look. "I'm doubtful the elixir would do much to help him. Physically he is in excellent shape… his mind can only be fixed by compassion and care… that is something you, Harriet, certainly do not need the Elixir of Life to give."

Harriet bit her lip, pondering that.

"But I have little doubt, given the challenges you face, that at some point you will have to use the elixir," Castillon continued.

"That's not exactly comforting," Harriet muttered.

Castillon stifled a laugh. "It is not meant to be. It is a warning."

Harriet chewed her lip more.

"Do not worry about me, Harriet," Castillon said. "I implore you. There are people in this world who need you."

Harriet had nothing to say, but much to consider.

"I hate to add more to your burdens," Castillon said. "It is, assuredly, not my intention. Rather, I have seen your good heart. Your guilt over what happened to Nicolas and Perenelle… if you had the means to save someone but couldn't… I fear greatly for what it might do to you. So take the gift, please."

Harriet was still fishing for words. Castillon sighed.

"I'm over a thousand years old, Harriet," he wheezed. "I was already old for my kind when I befriended Nicolas… I know not if his heaven exists, but if it does, he is there… and my best hope is that perhaps I can buy my way in with a few good deeds before I go to be with him and Perenelle again…"

Harriet thought more before slowly nodding. "I… I understand. Thank you, Castillon."

"You are welcome, Harriet," the little elf said, finally lowering the footrest. "In the meantime, my old ears are still sharp enough to hear that your charge has awakened."

Harriet turned looking to the door.

"And if I don't miss my guess… he might be trying to escape over the balcony."

Harriet squeaked in panic and yanked open the door. They were on the top floor. A fall from this height would surely kill him.

The bed was empty, and the sliding glass door to the balcony was wide open. Harriet ran over and skidded to a halt on the polished floor. Finn had his leg half over the balcony railing but was clearly second-guessing himself as he looked down at the five-story drop.

"Finn…" Harriet said softly, trying to remain calm.

"Stay back," Finn said, holding up his hand to her. "Don't… tempt me more…"

"I'm not trying to tempt you," Harriet pleaded. "I'm trying to help you!"

Finn kept staring off the balcony.

"Finn it's five stories, you'll die… please…"

Slowly, shakily, Finn pulled his leg off the railing. Harriet's legs worked at once and rushed her towards Finn. Her arms wrapped around his chest holding him tight in relief.

"Whoa…" Finn grunted in surprise.

"I already lost you once! Don't scare me like that again!" Harriet demanded.

Finn was frozen. He felt as frozen as Harriet was when she first saw him again. Then, he slowly started trembling. His knees gave out, and he slumped to the floor. Harriet gave out a cheep of surprise as she fell with him.

"There's no escape…" Finn mumbled. "No escape… ever…"

"There's nothing to escape, Finn," Harriet said, grunting as she propped herself up on her elbows, looking down on him. "You're alive… this is all real…"

Finn was staring at her. He was frozen again. His eyes were boring into hers.

"You're real…?"

"Yes," Harriet insisted.

She took Finn's hand and gently cupped it to her cheek. "See? Real…"

Finn's face was beet red, even in the darkness.

"Real…"

"I'm a human, not an angel or a demon or anything," Harriet said. "We're all real. You're real, and you're alive."

Finn's hand was shaking a little. She could feel his fear, but it was changed. It was apprehension now; anxiety.

"It's just me," Harriet said. "Just Harriet…"

Harriet was kicking herself. Of course, that wouldn't mean anything to him. He couldn't remember her.

Finn couldn't look at her again. His anxiety was getting higher. Harriet slowly sat up on her knees, moving a little away from him. He propped himself up on his elbows, though he still couldn't look at her. She felt his anxiety lessening, however.

"Finn… are you afraid of me?"

"Not good at talkin' to girls," Finn mumbled. "Shouldn't talk to girls…"

"Shouldn't talk to girls? Who told you that?"

"I told me that," Finn said. "Think bad things about girls…"

"Like what?" Harriet asked, trying to sound gentle and caring.

Finn couldn't answer. He was hugging his chest now, leaning back against the railing, staring at his knees.

"So, Finn… that was my name?" Finn said, clearly changing the subject.

"Yes, it was," Harriet confirmed. "And is."

"Finn… okay… Finn…"

"Short for Finnbar," Harriet explained, moving over to lean back against the railing beside him, but not so close as to make him uncomfortable again.

"Finnbar…"

"Your last name's Negus. The first time we met, you said to call you Finnegus."

Finn snorted out a laugh. "Okay, so my sense of humour was rubbish…"

Harriet smiled gently. "I quite liked it."

Finn became very interested in his knees again.

"So… so I'm guessing we were… romantic?"

Harriet now found it easier to look at her shoes than him.

"Well… it… was going that way…" Harriet mumbled.

The pair fell into silence.

"Who was I…?" Finn finally asked.

Harriet sighed tilting her head back, looking up at the stars. "I don't know how to explain that to you… there's so much…"

"How old am I?"

"Seventeen," Harriet told him.

"Seventeen…" Finn said, looking at his hands. "They had me fighting thirty-year-olds…"

"You were fighting?"

"Briefly… really briefly," Finn grunted.

Harriet thought. "Well… how about this? Tell me what's been happening to you, and I can start filling in gaps?"

Finn furrowed his brow. He was thinking hard, trying to remember.

"Most the start of it is really hazy. I don't remember much until maybe two months ago…"

"What do you remember?"

"Meeting my friends," Finn said. "Got taken in by folk who called themselves Travellers… but most folks called them Tinkers and Gypoes…"

Harriet winced. "That wasn't very nice."

Finn shrugged. "They had plenty of words for them in return…" Finn sighed. "They taught me a lot though. They helped me learn how to talk right and read."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm. They were amazed at how fast I learned."

"I suppose that's because you already knew," Harriet said. "Before your memory was wiped."

"That's what they said," Finn sniffed. "They taught me how to live off the land… how to trap rabbits and squirrels and the like. What plants were okay to eat."

"How long were you with them?"

"About a month," Finn replied. "Three or four weeks… hard to keep track exactly when you're just wandering like that. Anyway… was rough-housing with some of the lads after putting on a bit of a drink and well… they learned I could take a punch."

"That you can," Harriet confirmed.

"They said I must have been a boxer or something before…"

Harriet shook her head. "No… you were a singer."

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Mmhmm, singer, guitar player, pianist…"

"Jaysus," Finn marvelled. "Everyone said I could sing alright, but… I like that better."

Harriet smiled. "I like you singing more than fighting, too."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm," Harriet nodded. "Your last gift to me was a cassette you recorded of yourself singing pretty songs for me…"

"I did?"

"You did," Harriet smiled finally looking at him. "Would you like me to show you?"

"O-okay," Finn said.

Harriet got to her feet, holding out a hand to Finn. Finn looked at it. Harriet felt his apprehension rising again in her mind.

"Finn I'm not going to bite… we've kissed before."

Finn's face first went very pale, then burning red.

"You and me? I… you thought I was good enough to kiss?"

Harriet bit her lip. "Still do…"

Finn got to his feet on his own, turning his back to her, leaning on the balcony.

"Not if you knew the truth about me…" Finn said.

Harriet walked up close behind him. "Would that truth… involve this bandanna I'm wearing?"

Finn slowly looked back at her, blinking in surprise and confusion. "How…?"

"And maybe…" Harriet mused, moving up to stand next to him leaning her elbows on the railing. "Involve me and… rope?"

Finn was staring. His mind was swirling.

"How…?" he asked. "Did… did old me… did I tell you?"

"Not really," Harriet admitted. "But I'm… magic."

"Magic…?" Finn grunted. "I-I mean…" he hung his head "I guess… thanks for… not hating me…"

"Of course I don't hate you, Finn," Harriet said. "I've been going insane worrying about you… I've kept your memories safe for you for months. It was your last wish that I keep them."

Finn blinked. "You have my memories?"

"That jar over there," Harriet said. "They were taken out of your head by magic. Your… father, for want of a better term… Professor Howe took them before your mind was wiped."

"Took my memories?" Finn stared. "How…?"

Harriet smiled brushing back her fringe. "Magic."

Finn kept staring, his eyes drifting up to her scar. "Oh… how'd you get that?"

"Again, magic," Harriet told him. "Watch."

Harriet drew her wand.

"Expecto Patronum."

The blazing light of her unicorn Patronus lit up the grounds down below and the whole room. Finn shouted in surprise leaping back from the railing. The glowing silver unicorn swirled and flew through the air on its way to the ground.

Finn slowly made his way back to the balcony, staring down with amazement and wonder. "Brilliant… Is that a unicorn?"

"It is," Harriet said. "It's called a Patronus. It's a projection of your happiness. It symbolises you. It drives away dark creatures called Dementors."

"Amazing…" Finn muttered. "A unicorn… creature of strength…"

Harriet kept smiling. "I can show you lots more. But first… let's show you some of your memories."

Finn kept watching the Patronus until it finally diminished.

"Okay…" Finn nodded. "Yeah, I wanna see more magic…"

Harriet gently curled her arm into his. "I'll show you… but Finn… you're going to learn a lot of things that are going to be upsetting…"

Finn took a deep breath. "I'm not in Hell… and I'm not dead… think I'd rather know who I am than keep living in this ignorance…"

"A lot of it is about your family…" Harriet said awkwardly.

"My family?"

Harriet nodded.

Finn stared back into her eyes. Harriet felt his resolve building both in her mind and in his arm as she held it.

"I have a family?"

"Yes," Harriet said. "Kind of… you have your brother."

"A brother?!" Finn shouted in surprise. "I have a brother? I forgot about having a brother? The fuck happened to me?!"

"Your memory was wiped," Harriet said. "Bad people got you… but we have you now. We'll help you remember and get you back to your brother. His name's Colm, and you two love each other very much… he's just as worried about you."

"Where is he?!"

"He's at school," Harriet said. "He's… it's a tough situation. The same people who hurt you are at the school…"

"He's in danger?!"

"No! No," Harriet partly lied. "He's fine, promise. You're the one in danger. It's why we can't take you to him right away… but we will."

Finn calmed, his fists unclenching.

"What about that… Professor Howe, you said? My 'father'?"

"He's not your real father. He took care of you and Finn… he took your memories before they were wiped. He saved your life."

"Why'd he take care of us? Where are our real parents?"

"There's… there's a lot of darkness there, Finn," Harriet said. "This isn't going to be easy. For either of us but especially for you."

Finn kept looking into Harriet's eyes. "For three months, I've not known who I am… I lived with travellers who taught me to fight then kicked me out when they found out I'm a freak… then got taken in by an arsehole boxing promoter… by that point, I was done with fighting… he had the shite kicked out of me and threw me out in the street…"

Finn sighed looking away. "Then I had nothing again… and then I heard this song… this song, it… it meant something. It was like it was written for me, or about me…"

"Star of the County Down…"

"That's the one… I was obsessed with it… from my time with the travellers I knew Down was a real county… and then I found Banbridge. Nothing else made sense to me but to stay there… so… I did."

"You sang that song to me the night we first met," Harriet said. "How did you get by after that?"

"Used what the travellers taught me," Finn replied. "Lived off the land… Fell in with other homeless folk… people who didn't ask questions, but appreciated having someone around who could catch food."

Finn looked back at her. "The point is… I've been through hell… not much else is going to hurt me now…"

Finn held up his hands, showing her the backs of them. Harriet looked at them properly now. Emotion washed over her. His knuckles were calloused and scarred. Her stomach churned, too. His right index finger was kinked ever so slightly between the first and second knuckles, as though once broken and improperly set.

Harriet studied the hands, then Finn's face. Beneath the beard, beneath the cuts and scars and bruises, he was Finn. Harriet slowly put her hands on Finn's.

"Finn… you're the same person you were then… taking your memories doesn't change that. Not to me… Though, I think I know the first memory you need to see…"

"How exactly am I going to be shown my memories?" Finn asked, sceptically.

Harriet grinned "Follow me."

She turned back into the room. Finn hesitated, but finally, he followed her. She led him to the Pensieve, sitting on the chair. Finn sat on the bed, watching as Harriet picked up the jar of memories.

"Pretty…" Finn said.

Harriet smiled. "Your memories."

"Those are my memories?"

"Mmhmm," Harriet smiled. "Copies of them, anyway. Magic."

"Magic…" Finn shook his head in amusement.

Harriet drew her wand again. She undid the lid and set it aside.

"What's that on top?" Finn asked, picking up the lid, studying the coin Kreacher had given her.

Harriet smiled a little. "A gift. From a good friend. I decided to put them together to keep them safe…"

"It's pretty," Finn said, studying the old coin.

Harriet kept smiling as she drew out the memory. She dropped it into the Pensieve, and it swirled and swooshed around.

"Whoa…"

Harriet wasn't sure how to do this part. She thought about the memory as she raised her wand. Apparently, that was enough. A little figure of Finn rose up, smoky but clearly recognisable. He was sitting on a chair, holding his guitar.

"That's… that's me…" Finn said, leaning closer.

"Mmmhmmm," Harriet smiled.

"Hey, Dove," the little Finn said. "Dunno, this just seemed like a thing to do after I got back to Rathlin. A lot of these are songs that meant a lot to me growing up. I mean, eh not all of them are that old or nothin', but I guess some make me think of you too, so that's a thing. Anyway, uh… this first one is by a band not many people know—uh—called American Music Club. This song's called Firefly."

Finn stared, leaning closer. "Bugger me…"

The little Finn sang. Real Finn was touching his own face, looking down at his own hands.

"I could sing like that…? I could play?"

"You could," Harriet smiled. "And you can again."

"Everyone's been tellin' me I can sing good, but… not like… that," Finn gawked.

"Finish the prayer that started as a kiss
The overwhelming dream of happiness
I'll give you all of my good luck
For the overwhelming dream that's killing us."

"I had good taste," Finn chuckled.

Harriet giggled a little. "I take that as a compliment."

Finn snorted a laugh. "Good one… so, you're Dove."

Harriet melted a little inside hearing Finn call her that in person again after so long.

"Yes… I'm Dove."

Finn smiled again. "I like that… Dove. A symbol of peace. Happiness. Safety."

Harriet suddenly found it easier to study her feet again as bashfulness took her over. "Yeah?"

"The travellers I took up with were Catholic… very Catholic. Taught me lots about it. Also why they kicked me out when they found out I was a deviant… not much tolerance there."

"You're not a deviant, Finn," Harriet said. "No more than me. In which case… that just means you're not alone that way anymore, either."

Finn stared at Harriet.

"I used to think of myself as a freak all the time," Harriet explained. "My aunt called me one after catching me being… well…"

The pair fell silent again. Harriet could sense Finn's interest, but he remained silent.

"Long story short, that thought you had of me today when we met… with this bandanna?"

"You saw that?!" Finn gasped.

"Magic," Harriet said tapping the side of her head. "But not everyone can do it. I'm… special, that way. Anyway, I've thought of you doing that to me, too… lots of times."

Finn was staring.

"Okay…" he said softly. "I need to see more of these memories… I have a Dove I need to get back…"

Harriet smiled gently. "Ready to have my Finnegus back, too."