Chapter Warning: Character death and intensive fighting ahead.
Lotus in the Snow (Snow Queen AU)
Chapter Twenty-Four
Things That Burn
The room was silent, and no one moved. No one spoke, and the air felt empty.
Kanda couldn't even hear himself breathe. Was he breathing? He didn't know – his throat felt dry, and his lungs didn't seem to be working properly. Kanda's whole body felt as though it had been paralyzed, as though he had accidentally looked into the eyes of some kind of gorgon that he had not at all been prepared to face. Except those eyes belonged to…
'No,' Kanda told himself. He wanted to shake his head, but he couldn't even do that. 'It's not him. That's not Alma.'
Kanda had seen this bullshit before. He remembered the witch's cabin, where that girl – Road – had somehow taken Alma's form. Immediately, Kanda felt anger overtake him. Was that what was happening now? Was this some kind of sick joke, or a twisted game that she could have been behind? God, but Kanda thought he had beaten her….or had Road survived? She must have, and she must have been toying with Kanda again. Hell, this was probably some messed up payback she was trying to get on Kanda.
Kanda was gripping Mugen so tightly that his knuckles were white. 'That….that damn witch...I swear if she's fucking with me again-'
"Do I know you?"
The words cut through the silence, though they were soft and cool; they reminded Kanda of freshly fallen snow late at night, cold and alluring, yet without a trace of warmth.
His own voice faltering, Kanda could only stare at the akuma ('It's not Alma,' He kept whispering to himself), his gaze lingering on the uncanny similarities. The hair, the nose – everything looked so close to Alma, yet the akuma appeared entirely different. Nothing at all like the Alma Kanda knew – the kind who was always smiling, and cheery, and so foolishly optimistic…
The akuma – Alma – frowned, expression cold as he stepped forward. "You said my name just now," He repeated steadily. "So do I know you or don't I?"
The second time he asked, he sounded somewhat frustrated. Kanda stiffened even more, not that he knew how that was possible. But...if this was Road, why was she toying with him this way? Why have a fake "Alma" who couldn't even remember Kanda? Was it a way to torture him even more?
Kanda glared at the akuma. "If it's you, Road, you might as well give up the act now. I don't have time for this crap."
A perplexed look crossed (the fake) Alma's features. "Road? Sorry, no idea who that is," He spoke, brushing off the accusation. Lifting his hand, Alma opened his palm as several electric currents sparked out, an orb of dark energy collecting in his hand. "But if you're not going to tell me anything then I really don't see the point of you hanging around. I've had enough of people keeping things from me…"
Kanda stood up also, and quickly grabbed Alma by the wrist. "Alma-"
Alma turned swiftly, expression pained and frustrated. "What?" Alma asked. "What is it? Because I'm really over hearing about how you have to leave for whatever reason when you can't even tell me why!"
Kanda's jaw tightened and he could feel Mugen's energy burn in his grasp as he recalled the memory. Those words…they were like a knife twisting into him, as he recalled one of the last nights he had been with Alma. Alma had been angry and hurt because Kanda wasn't telling him why he was leaving, and because Kanda had been keeping things from Alma. Guilt weighed down onto Kanda, as he thought about how cruel his actions had been toward Alma, and about how cruel it would have been to have just left Alma. Always wondering, never knowing…
Just like Kanda was now.
Unless, this really was-
Kanda activated Mugen. He stared at Alma – whatever the akuma wanted to call himself – coldly. "If you're going to fight me, then just do it. I'm not here to talk and just because you look like Alma doesn't mean I'm going to fall for that crap."
Alma's expression darkened. "You have a lot of fucking nerve, you know that?" He hissed. "Acting like you know me? You don't know anything about me!" He shouted, before firing an attack on Kanda.
Kanda jumped, quickly focusing on Mugen's energy. "Second illusion!" He spoke. Running his fingers down the blade, Kanda focused all he could before harnessing the energy of his innocence, creating a second sword of pure energy. Placing the blades together, he just barely managed to block a second attack from Alma, reflecting the dark energy that had been directed at him.
Alma had to swiftly move out of the way to avoid his own attack that had been reflected. The blast instead hit the icy wall. Alma didn't bother to focus on the damage, and instead and to jump back again to avoid a sudden attack from Kanda.
Kanda quickly tried to slash at Alma; he forced himself to do so, with each attack breaking him from the inside out. 'It's not Alma, don't fall for it, Alma isn't an akuma…!'
A few of the blows hit Alma, and one in particular got the side of his torso. Alma winced, and Kanda caught sight of the expression, faltering.
Tyki placed a hand on his hip nonchalantly, with a small smirk on his lips. "Technically, I didn't really do anything," He answered simply, before his smirk widened. "Your little friend was well on his way to becoming an akuma already. So why don't you let me take him off your hands for you, eh?"
The color drained from Kanda's face, and his heart dropped. 'No,' He thought. No….there….there was no way. No way that…
Kanda's shoulders shook. "Bullshit," Kanda growled, his voice low yet seething.
An amused gleam danced in Tyki's eyes, with pleasure lingering in his smile. "Oh?" He pressed, not at all wary of taunting the exorcist further. "It's true. The shard that pierced him contained dark matter – specially the essence from a previous akuma," He explained with a grin. "It's already almost to his heart, so you might as well let me take him unless you just want to do away with him yourself."
That night, that strange man – Tyki – had told Kanda Alma had had something done to him, and was becoming an akuma. At the time, Kanda hadn't believed it; it made no sense, and it wasn't like such a thing had happened before. Ultimately, Kanda had written it off as that he was being screwed with. But…now he wasn't sure, and the chilling reality that perhaps Tyki could have been right burned in the back of Kanda's mind.
Kanda felt shaky, and his heart was cold. What…what if this was Alma?
The moment of hesitation proved to be a downfall, as Alma composed himself more quickly than Kanda. Palm upward, an eye appeared in each one as electricity sparked outward. Unlike the dark matter blast he had used previously, this attack instead sparked out in longer electric currents.
Before Kanda could properly react, he was thrown back onto the ground, momentarily paralyzed from the electricity. Kanda attempted to stand, but the current seemed to weigh down on him, pinning him to the ground as his body burned from the electricity. He grimaced, as he looked at Alma. "Al…Alma…" He spoke through gritted teeth.
Taking a second to heal the side of his torso, Alma approached Kanda. "There you go again, using my name," Alma remarked. He crouched down over Kanda, looking at him contemplatively. "But I have no idea who you are. Ugh, and looking at you just really pisses me off for some reason…"
Slowly, Alma traced his hand over Kanda's throat, and pressed down. It wasn't enough to suffocate Kanda, but the intent was there. Alma looked down at Kanda coldly. "Maybe I' should just choke you to death. You humans are such terrible creatures. All you do is lie to and hurt each other – it's despicable."
Kanda gritted his teeth. Fuck, this was twisted – was this Alma or wasn't it? He couldn't tell, and he had no idea anymore. If it was…Kanda just couldn't understand where this was coming from, and how this could possibly the same Alma he had known back in the village. "Alma….if it's fucking you in there…."
Alma's eyes narrowed. "What are you going on about?" He asked, impatience running through his words. "You're not making any sense, and it's so annoying-"
Alma's words abruptly stopped, breath hitching in his throat. For a few seconds, he himself appeared paralyzed, body completely still and stiff. His eyes were slightly wide too, and no longer focused on Kanda – they were focused on something off to the side.
Confused, Kanda's eyes flickered over to see just what it was that had caught Alma's attention.
There, on the ground, was the lotus pin.
Kanda realized it must have fallen out from the impact of him being thrown back. Turning, Kanda faced Alma once again; he could see that Alma was still looking at it, with a far off look in his eyes. "That…pin…" He murmured, her voice suddenly close to inaudible.
Suddenly, Alma's eye color shifted from silver to sky blue. The sky blue that Kanda remembered Alma having.
Alma's eyes widened even more, and something else flickered in them: fear, hurt, recognition. There was an unanticipated vulnerability in those eyes that Kanda couldn't ignore, and it made the reality come crashing down onto him – those were Alma's eyes.
Alma pulled back, as though he had been seared by being too close to Kanda. Because of his distraction, the paralysis from the electrical attack dissolved, allowing Kanda to move.
Kanda quickly tried to get up. "Alma-"
Alma kept his distance, his stance defensive. For a few seconds longer, his eyes remained blue, but then soon shifted back to silver. Once more, they were sharp and filled with venom; they reminded Kanda of the eyes of a wild animal that had just been attacked, and backed into a corner.
They were nothing like Alma's eyes, and yet somehow in his gut, Kanda now knew it was Alma.
Kanda was still after he had gotten his footing, and his mind rushed to figure out what to do next. He could feel himself reeling from the shock though, and still struggled to fathom that this akuma was Alma. It was such a messed up turn of events; all this time Kanda had been searching for Alma, praying he wasn't dead, and this whole time Alma had been becoming this? How the hell was Kanda supposed to even handle this shit?
Kanda kept cursing to himself. Think, think, think. "Why are you acting this way?" Kanda asked, his voice laced with frustration despite his intent not to do so. He didn't even know if his words would do anything. "Tell me, Alma!"
Alma's fist clenched, and he looked at Kanda scathingly. "Just shut up!" He snapped, before once again attacking. Kanda dodged, using his sword to block on of Alma's hits; now, Alma was in close proximity, fighting in a more hand-to-hand combat manner.
Kanda kept blocking. It was weak – he knew he was being weak. In any other situation he would have unleashed an illusion, or hit his target directly. But this was Alma, and all Kanda could too was grit his teeth as he kept delaying an attack. "Damn it, don't make me fucking fight you!"
Mugen sparked in Kanda's grasp as he blocked another hit, and Kanda forced himself not to react to it. It took him by surprise though – hadn't Komui repaired Mugen so that it would be less temperamental? 'Don't turn on me now, Mugen.'
Unless, the innocence wasn't turning on Kanda. What was it Komui had warned Kanda about? About the will of the innocence needing to align with the will of the accommodator? If that was the case…
Kanda glanced at Alma. Alma was an akuma, and the point of innocence was to eliminate akuma. And Kanda didn't want to hurt Alma.
Fuck, this was going to be a real problem.
Alma noticed hesitation, and kept throwing attacks. "Why don't you fight back!? Either fight back or let me get rid of you already!"
Kanda glared, though behind the mask of bitterness was pain. Alma wasn't giving Kanda a choice; Kanda didn't know how far gone Alma was in that moment, and just because Kanda had seen Alma beneath that akuma skin didn't mean that…
'…That Alma can be saved…' Kanda realized.
Alma might have been beyond saving – beyond saving and beyond being kept alive. Kanda realized this; he realized he might not have been able to bring Alma home like he vowed to, and that all of this time and energy might have been spent for nothing.
Kanda hadn't felt this low since the night Alma disappeared.
So, what would Kanda do? Would he just give in, and let Alma kill him? Or would he have…would he have to kill…
Inside, something snapped. Kanda didn't know what it was, but he was suddenly so pissed the hell off that he didn't know if he could take it. It was like his blood had just started boiling over, acidic and scorching. Sharply, Kanda blocked another attack of Alma's before shoving him back, and swinging Mugen, and before Kanda knew it he was the one throwing blows and Alma was the one on the defensive.
Kanda hated this. He hated everything about this. He hated that Alma was now like this (if it really was Alma), and Kanda hated even more that he was the one who had to fight Alma – because he couldn't let Alma stay this way. He couldn't let Alma live like this, with his soul trapped and rotting away in a mesh of dark matter. Kanda just couldn't do it.
So if the only way to save Alma was to kill him, Kanda would do it. He had to.
Tyki crossed his arms, remaining at the edge of the woods. He had seen the fight when it started, and was now currently watching the altercation continue. A neutral look remained on his face, as his golden eyes evaluated the scene: one akuma against three exorcists. Well, against two exorcists now – the one with the dark ponytail had ended up vanishing in all the chaos, though Tyki suspected the clumsy human fell or something.
Bringing a finger to his chin, Tyki caught sight of the akuma. Burly, and strong – from a distance, Tyki found it to be more masculine looking, but something seemed off. He'd seen that akuma before, but where?
'Unless…it's the same one that was with her,' Tyki realized, as he recalled that akuma who had gone rogue – the woman who had basically made it her bloody mission to collect all of the Millennium Earl's mirror shards. When she had first started to do so, she hadn't been alone; Tyki recalled when he first saw her years ago, and a second akuma that had been with her.
Which looked an awful lot like this one.
The side of Tyki's mouth upturned. So, this was where they'd been hiding. Tyki wondered if Cross was possibly tied into this after all. It certainly would have made his job easier. And if not…well, then at least the trip hadn't been worthless.
Tyki's attention returned to the fight. He noticed that it looked like it could go either way, with the akuma or the exorcists possibly being victorious.
That wouldn't do – if both parties were eliminated, then that would be preferable.
Taking out several playing cards, Tyki threw them onto the ground. As soon as they touched the snow, they sizzled, smoking into darkness as they swelled and shifted into larger forms. Within seconds, several newly formed akuma had been created, with the tortured souls having been imprisoned in the cards until they could be released by the command of a Noah.
Tyki glanced at them, then nudged his head over toward where the fight was currently taking place. "Make sure to take them all out. I don't feel like dealing with them right now."
The akuma didn't need to be commanded a second time, and quickly departed onto the battlefield.
"Fire seal!" Lavi shouted, as a flame-like serpent emerged from his hammer. It melted the icy blast the akuma had just sent in his direction, though she quickly attempted to send another.
Lavi jumped back, landing close to Allen. "Man, Kanda really picked a bad time to fall into a hole!"
"I don't think he meant to!" Allen shouted back. Readying an attack, he moved his gaze to the akuma, spotting her through the flurry of powdery snow. As he zoned in his gaze, Allen's eye suddenly activated once more, causing him to hinder his attack.
Lavi noticed this. "What? What is it?"
Allen furrowed his brow. "There's…there's something off about this akuma. Normally I can see the soul of who's wearing the skin, but it's almost like it's the original soul to begin with…"
Lavi frowned. "What do you mean-"
Eyes widening, Allen seemed to notice something else. "Lavi, there's more akuma!"
Turning, Lavi saw Allen was right. Somehow, several more akuma had appeared. Lavi sighed. "Great, now it's a party," He remarked sarcastically before the akuma began to attack.
As more chaos erupted, Allen noticed the akuma that they had initially been fighting. To his surprise, he saw that the akuma looked…alarmed. Which was unusual – weren't akuma programmed to fight along side each other, at least in the midst of innocence? Why would this akuma not want others around?
Allen was momentarily distracted, as an akuma fired at attack. It barely scraped his left arm, which sizzled with several pentacles. Fortunately, they disappeared, as his parasitic innocence allowed him to be immune to the toxicity of the akuma virus.
Allen looked up, just in time to see the other akuma quickly fleeing, evading the other akuma. He only caught a glimpse of her disappearing into the same crevice Kanda had fallen into before she was entirely out of sight.
Quickly, Allen shifted his focus, seeking where Lavi was. When he spotted the other exorcist a few yards away, he called to him. "Lavi, the other akuma left!"
Lavi blocked an attack, and turned to Allen with a questioning look. "What do you mean the other akuma left!?"
"I think they went underground where Kanda ended up – we need to get down there!"
Lavi nodded in understanding, but saw an akuma was about to throw another blast his way. Swiftly, he cast a look in Allen's direction before motioning to the crevice. "You make a break for it since you're closer – I'll follow!"
Knowing he only had a few seconds at best, Allen made a run for it. It didn't take long for the other akuma to notice his movements though, which caused them to fire in his direction. Allen barely had made it to the crevice before he clutched to the side of it with his innocence, extending the arm so he could try to let himself down-
Blast.
Smoke, snow, and icy debris seemed to fly everywhere as an attacked brutally impacted the opening of the crevice. Allen's eyes widened as the piece of ice he had been clinging to broke off, along with several other chunks. He fell, catching himself as he smashed his innocence-infused arm into the side of the wall, sharply breaking his fall. Clinging to the side, Allen held still, waiting for the rocky ice to cease falling.
A few seconds passed, and it stopped.
Allen exhaled, then looked up from where he was hanging.
The opening to the crevice had been blocked off, completely shut away with ice and snow.
"Great…" Allen muttered, remembering that Lavi was still stuck above. And Tim.
Allen exhaled, slightly frustrated before he started to extend his innocence again until he reached the ground. Once he was there, he retracted his arm, but he kept his innocence activated. He needed to get out, but had to find a new way – and there was no telling what was hanging around in the cavern.
Allen looked around. He didn't see any signs of the first akuma they had seen, or Kanda. But they both were around somewhere.
Somewhere in the distance, there was the sound of a blast. At first, Allen thought that perhaps it was an attack from above – but as he listened he realized it was coming from deep in the cavern.
Quickly, Allen started running.
It didn't take long for Tyki to navigate through the cavern. It was illuminated well enough that he could see with ease, and if anything, the sound of fighting was also enough of a giveaway to give Tyki an idea of where to go. He was of course wary as not to draw too much attention to himself; he was more the type to assess the situation prior to actually getting involved immediately.
He had located the sound of the confrontation though: that exorcist, Kanda, fighting with an akuma that Tyki recognized as that one guy who had been pierced by a mirror shard.
Well, this was certainly unanticipated.
Tyki was intrigued, and silently watched for a few seconds. He admittedly was quite captured by the spar, and wondered just who would get killed first; it was hard to say, as they were both putting up quite a fight. The entertainment could have possibly gone on for hours.
Watching their movements carefully, Tyki's eyes then flickered to the far end of the room, and saw the mirror. His eyes widened slightly.
So, this really was where it had been all this time.
Suddenly, it didn't matter if Tyki found Cross or not. Regardless of where the man was, Tyki now had something else to take into account, and knew that this discovery would be quite valuable. However, given that the mirror was here, it was for certain confirmation that the rogue akuma – Anita – was somewhere close by as well.
Tyki had to act fast; it wouldn't be good to let her escape.
Without being noticed, Tyki left, leaving Kanda and Alma to their fight.
Anita knew something was wrong. She could feel it. The presence of humans. Of akuma. Anita could feel everything.
Just barely she managed to sit up, though she could feel where part of her body was now frozen over. It was hard to maneuver, and the flesh that was still soft and connected pulled and scorched with frost painfully.
Her face grimaced. Not now. Not now when she was so close…
How many years had she been this way now? How long had it been? Anita at times felt pieces of her memory slipping, just as every pierced soul inevitably experienced. She was not immune to the hatred that coiled within her either – a result of the dark matter's influence, burning and twisting.
That hatred was for the Millennium Earl, and what he had done. Recovering the mirror shards before he could, and ensuring no one else would ever be touched by it again…that was what Anita had sworn she would do.
She knew she was infected; it had spread too far, and Anita couldn't be saved. Her insides withered, and she felt as though she were dying. Dark emotions, and venomous sensations Anita had never thought existed within her flourished, ripping her apart from the inside out. She bit back a scream, as her consciousness threatened to diminish.
Mahoja held her, as though her embrace might have somehow kept Anita safe. She gritted her teeth, and looked back, glaring at the man behind her. "You have to do something!"
Cross's expression was grim, and his eyes dark. For once, his unreadable mask he tended to wear appeared cracked, and faulty. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to exhale lowly. "I can't."
"What do you mean you can't? You saw where the shard went it – take it out of her!"
Cross looked at Mahoja, eyes flashing while the rest of his expression remained hard. "You really think I'd let her suffer like this if I could?" He asked, words cold. "I can't see where it's moved. And my innocence will only kill her if I try to remove it from the wrong place."
Mahoja looked as though she could have punched him. "You worthless son of a-"
"Ma..Mahoja…"
Anita's words were frail, broken from the darkening anguish she felt within herself. Each word hurt to say, and it felt as though she were choking – but she forced herself to speak. "Take…take me somewhere away from his innocence…I'll….fight it…"
Mahoja stopped upon hearing this, and looked as though she were tempted to argue. However, she nodded, not wanting to disrespect the wishes of her master.
Mahoja stood, holding Anita, and turned to Cross, eyes threatening.
Cross seemed to know what Mahoja was thinking before she said anything, and spoke first. "The Order won't know. I won't return until this is resolved," He assured. "Make sure she's hidden."
Mahoja turned her back to him. "I will."
Anita needed to move. She couldn't stay like this, and needed to find out what was happening. But, as she attempted to stand, she found her legs were barely moving properly – one was now covered in ice as well.
The door to her room opened, and Anita looked up. She expected to see Mahoja, but her body went rigid when she saw someone else.
Tyki looked at Anita, and smiled. "I'd say you look good after all this time, but that'd be a bit of a stretch," He commented casually, while approaching her.
Anita looked at Tyki with a frosty gaze. Tyki just grinned. "Not a warm welcome, huh? Guess it'd have been unrealistic to expect such," He added, as he was now standing in front of her. Since she was seated on the bed, he crouched down. "I actually came here to look for Cross. I didn't expect to find you here."
Anita's lips went into a thin line. "I'm not about to tell you his whereabouts, if that's what you want."
Tyki laughed. "Not at all, though eventually I'll need to find him," He said. Tyki's eyes remained on Anita, as he scrutinized her. "But here you are, and looking quite defenseless it seems. You can't even move properly."
To this, Anita didn't respond, and she tried to keep her expression unreadable. Something in between trepidation and disgust flickered within her eyes.
Tyki sighed. "I supposed I should go ahead and get this over with," He spoke, as he placed a hand on Anita's shoulder, tracing it down to her heart. "You're pretty much useless now, even with that mirror shard in you. But I'll send your regards to Cross."
Tyki didn't wait a second longer before placing his hand into Anita, ripping the shard out.
Slash. Dodge. Hit. Slash.
Alma kept jumping, and dodging Kanda's swings. He was inhumanly quick in his movements, and each time Kanda thought he had him Alma just evaded him. It was hell, and Kanda felt like he was losing his mind fighting this way.
"You were acting like you wanted to fight, so why are you still running!?" Kanda snapped, as he once again missed Alma – this time by not even an inch.
The accusation seemed to incense Alma, who's silvery eyes glowered in Kanda's direction. "I'm not running from anything!" He snarled, before suddenly throwing an attack of dark energy in Kanda's direction.
Kanda blocked it with Mugen, the energy sparking against the blade. "Second illusion!" He called, once again creating a second version of his innocence made of pure energy. Upon creating the second blade, Kanda immediately went back on the offensive, attacking Alma as Alma continued to block.
Kanda could feel his frustration increasing. One minute, Alma was completely offensive in his movements, but the next minute he would suddenly go defensive. But Kanda had seen stronger attacks from Alma earlier on – he was sure Alma was capable of more.
It didn't make sense to Kanda. If Alma was an akuma – one that couldn't even remember Kanda – then why hold back?
'He's messing with me!' Kanda tried – tried – to tell himself. That it was all a ploy to keep Kanda hesitating, to keep Kanda from doing his job as an exorcist. If this was Alma, and he was an akuma, then hell, that didn't even mean it was still Alma's soul in there…even if Kanda thought he had seen it…
Alma was quickly evading Kanda still, and in a split second act of impulse Kanda enacted another element of Mugen's power. "Ascending flower: triple illusion!"
A surge of power flooded Kanda, and for a few seconds he was able to increase his speed, catching up to Alma. From there he used both swords to pin the akuma back against one of the walls, holding him down.
'Do it. Get it over with.'
Alma didn't move, body tense. On each side of him was a blade, both of which could have ended him easily.
Alma knew this. Kanda knew this.
Kanda didn't move either.
'D-Damn it…' Kanda thought, teeth grinding down onto each other. He needed to end this somehow – he had to. An akuma was right in front of him, and Kanda had the upper hand in that moment. But, the akuma was Alma, and he was staring back at Kanda, eyes slightly white and expression ridden with agitation and, god forbid, fear. For a brief second Kanda found himself thinking back to when they had first met, and Alma had caught him off guard in the church and caused Kanda to draw his sword on him.
Kanda could feel his resolve buckle in the instant.
"Why…" Kanda started, not even sure what it was he was trying to articulate. He was looking down, so close to Alma, yet feeling so horribly cut off and far away.
"Why…why the hell are you so pissed off?" Kanda finally asked, still unable to look Alma directly in the eye. "Is it because you're an akuma now?"
The question seemed to throw Alma off guard, who didn't respond. So, Kanda continued.
"Is that why you fucking hate me so much now?" He asked, words quiet, and shoved out. "Or did.."
"Alma, I…" He started, trailing off when he noticed how close their faces were.
Alma didn't say anything though, and like Kanda he found himself unable to pull away, with the draw between them feeling more magnetic than anything Alma had ever experienced. Pulling in, Alma leaned his forehead against Kanda's, his eyes looking downward for a second before he closed his eyes, and very gently brushed his lips against Kanda's.
Another falter, and Kanda forced himself to look up abruptly. "Did none of what happened that night mean shit to you!?"
Alma froze as he heard the rawness of Kanda's words. Despite the difference in eye color and akuma markings beneath his eyes, his expression shifted into one that was entirely caught off guard. But Alma just couldn't understand – he couldn't understand what Kanda was even talking about…
Kanda exhaled shakily, then pushed himself back away from Alma, releasing the energy copy of Mugen. He just…Kanda just couldn't do it…
"Well, that's anti-climactic."
Kanda turned, hearing the voice – the voice that he immediately recognized. Tyki was there, looking the exact same as he had the last time Kanda had seen him: same dark hair, same golden eyes – and the same obnoxious smirk that Kanda would eagerly slice off of Tyki's face once close enough.
Despite Kanda's glowering, Tyki went on. "I was almost hoping for some more entertainment with you two, but maybe it's for the best. I've already got one of those last two shard pieces, but I still need the other one-"
Tyki was cut off as Kanda charged at him, swinging Mugen. Tyki maneuvered out of the way, swift and gracefully as he avoided Kanda's attacks. He created several shields of energy to block, before he spoke to Kanda in between hits.
"You know, my fight doesn't have to be with you," He pointed out. "Just let me get that last shard and I'll be on my way!"
"Fuck you!" Kanda snarled, now realizing what Tyki meant to do. He was talking about Alma – about whatever shard had pierced him.
Kanda would be damned if he let this bastard touch Alma, akuma or not.
Tyki rolled his eyes. "Whatever then," He spoke, before his expression turned serious as he started to fight back. At one point, Kanda had tried to harness Mugen's energy to direct it in his next hit at Tyki; but, Tyki used his shield to rebound the energy, causing Kanda to fly back into the wall.
While Kanda was briefly down, Tyki disappeared, then reappeared in front of Alma. "Long time, no see," He greeted.
Alma tensed, before recognition flashed in his eyes. "I've seen you before…!"
"Aw, glad you remember me – now are you going to make this easy, or difficult?"
Eyes narrowing, Alma extended his tail, using it as a whip against Tyki. "Back off!"
"Huh. Guess not," Tyki confirmed before throwing an attack.
Kanda grimaced as he tried to get up; the side of his face had hit the wall, and he could feel the warm, coppery taste of blood in his mouth. His side hurt too – and it felt like ice had cut into it. 'Ugh…'
Someone ran into the chamber, nearly slipping as they skidded to a halt. Kanda turned, and saw it was Allen.
Spotting Kanda, Allen's eyes widened slightly. "Kanda!" He shouted running over to him. Kneeling beside him, Allen's eyes moved to his side briefly. "You're bleeding-"
"I'm fine," Kanda argued, as he forced himself up more. "Where's Lavi?"
"He's still up above – the entrance got blocked off when more akuma appeared-"
Allen stopped talking as a crash was heard: an attack being thrown from Alma, at Tyki. Allen could feel his eye activate, especially as he focused on Alma. However, when he looked at Tyki he couldn't see anything to indicate he was any kind of akuma.
Allen frowned. "That man fighting the akuma-"
"He's not a man," Kanda interrupted. "So…don't be trying to help his ass. He's part of the problem."
Not waiting for Allen to respond, Kanda stood, ignoring the pain in his side. He felt a wave of energy from over his left heart through – where the seal was Komui had placed – and a small, soothing sensation pooled over where the wound on his side was. It wasn't gone completely, but moving definitely felt easier.
Allen stood as well. "Kanda, you just got hurt," Allen pointed out, "Let me take them on – I can at least try to handle the akuma-"
Kanda whipped his head in Allen's direction, glaring. "Don't fucking go near him!" He snapped, completely taking Allen by surprise.
Realizing how insane he probably sounded, Kanda averted his gaze, fist clenching onto Mugen. "I'll…I'll handle him…."
Allen's surprise melted, and a small frown appeared on his face. He could tell something was off given how Kanda had reacted, but Allen couldn't quite figure out just what was going on.
Meanwhile, Alma was currently fending off Tyki. He could feel himself beginning to panic; the man might not have been an akuma like Alma, but he was strong and he was fast.
Tyki could see Alma's nerves kicking in. "You know, even as an akuma you only can fight so much before even you start to reach a limit. Especially against a Noah."
Alma glared, and impulsively threw an attack of dark energy at Tyki. Tyki reflected it through, and the attack backfired on Alma, causing him to fall back.
Tyki approached Alma. "Now if you be a nice little akuma and hold still-"
Kanda cut in, blocking off Alma. He immediately called a first illusion attack, sending a swarm of ghostly insects in Tyki's direction. As they momentarily distracted Tyki, Kanda quickly slashed at the Noah, not once holding back.
Preparing his innocence for an attack, Allen hesitated when his eye again activated. He looked back over in Alma's direction, frowning. 'That one is different…but why?' He wondered, not sure what it was his eye was trying to show him. Usually, it was just the souls of whoever was occupying the akuma body – but when Allen saw this soul he saw it was…
'It's the same person who was in the body originally?' He realized, never having seen such before. Allen focused, looking more closely. He could see something off…
Tyki was flung back across the room. Kanda had just landed another attack, practically seething. He looked as though he was about to invoke another attack of sorts, when Allen quickly caught up to him.
"Kanda, wait!" Allen started, as he tried to keep Kanda from going after Tyki.
Kanda growled, and try to push Allen out of the way. "Let me finish him, Beansprout!"
"Kanda!" Allen snapped, as he refused to let Kanda go after Tyki. "Kanda, that akuma back there – you know him?"
Kanda froze, momentarily stunned by the question.
Allen continued. "You know him, don't you? That's why you don't want anyone else attacking him," Allen pointed out. "Kanda, whatever made him into an akuma, it's right to the left of his heart – I don't know what it is, but it's whatever's affecting him-"
Kanda was just barely able to take in Allen's words. Why…why was hell telling Kanda this? The beansprout had been able to detect akuma with his eye, so did that mean he could see into akuma? If so, then that meant that whatever Allen had seen was the shard that pierced Alma…
'Right to the left of his heart…' Kanda silently repeated. Not completely in it. To the left of it.
Allen's arm glowed, the energy of his own innocence pulsating. "You said you'd handle him," Allen spoke, eyes flickering in Alma's direction. "I'll handle the other one."
A beat of a second passed, and Kanda ran back to where Alma was.
As soon as Kanda took off, Allen turned to where Tyki was. His eyes narrowed when he saw Tyki was no longer in the room though. 'Where did he go!?' Allen thought, before he glanced over to the chamber opening. Realizing Tyki likely was out there, Allen ran out of the room, attempting to track him down.
Not even noticing Allen's departure, Kanda found where Alma was. He was still on the ground, his flesh pale and cracked-looking in several places. Kanda immediately felt a pang of fear – shit, how much damage had Tyki done to him? "Alma!"
Kanda's presence seemed to alert Alma, whose eyes remained wide as though in a panic. Instinctively, he threw another attack at Kanda. "Stay away from me!"
The attack nearly got Kanda's shoulder, causing him to wince. "Alma, listen to me-" He tried to speak, but was cut off as Alma threw another attack. At some point, Alma had managed to get up, but he was clearly weakened from the earlier fighting.
"No! I don't want anyone near me!" Alma shouted, though this time his voice sounded more pained than anything else.
Kanda bit the inside of his cheek, once more tasting the warmth of his own blood. Seeing Alma this way….he couldn't stand it.
Kanda raised Mugen to block an attack, and his mind raced. Alma didn't seem to be giving in, and was only go to push himself too much if he kept fighting – and Kanda couldn't fight forever either. Something had to give, and as time was running out Kanda knew that the inevitable was coming. 'Alma…'
They were within close enough proximity, and Kanda knew this was it. If he didn't make himself do it now, he knew he would never see it through. The knowledge of what he was going to have to do tortured him, and he wanted so badly for anything but this to happen. But, Kanda didn't have any other choice, and the only thing he could do at this point was…
Heart twisting to pieces, Kanda looked at Alma.
Then before he could change his mind he took Mugen and forced it into the left of Alma's chest – just to the side of his heart.
Alma's eyes widened, and they flickered from silver to blue. Staggering, Alma nearly collapsed as Kanda caught him, pulling out Mugen so he could take Alma.
Kanda hated himself in that moment. Truly, and utterly hated himself. He could feel Alma, weak and now going limp, in his hold, and Kanda felt the icy horror of just what he had done poison his insides. "Alma," Kanda spoke, as he felt himself sounding more panicked. "Alma, just stay with me a bit-"
He slunk down to the ground, still holding Alma. The ragged breaths were enough a signal that Alma was still alive, but Kanda had no idea how much longer for – and truthfully, Kanda didn't think Alma would survive. Kanda had just…he had just stabbed Alma…
Fuck, what had he done?
"Alma, I'm sorry," Kanda choked, not even realizing their were tears forming in his eyes until he could feel them pool at the corners. "I'm sorry…"
Alma felt fragile, and although he still had a few breaths in him he wasn't saying anything. He didn't appear conscious, and he felt cold.
Kanda pulled Alma close, holding him tight. There was no response. No physical movement. Alma's body was most likely dying, and it was all Kanda's fault. 'It's all my fault. I killed him…I couldn't even save him…'
Kanda could feel his chest trembling, and suddenly he choked out a sob. "I'm sorry, Alma. I'm so sorry…"
All these days. Weeks. Months. All this time Kanda had spent searching for Alma, swearing that he would save him. Swearing that he would bring him home. Take him back to the village, and hell, maybe if they could have started something together. Because that's what it all came back to, right? Kanda cared about Alma. He had started to care for Alma so much, which was why it had been so hard at the end to leave. Which was probably why Kanda's synchronization had gone down. He didn't want the life he had initially chosen – he wanted to be with Alma.
Because he loved Alma.
Kanda loved Alma, and now he had destroyed him.
Kanda exhaled, trying so hard to hold back another sob. He pressed his face into Alma's hair – soft, and messy. The sob broke out. "I'm so sorry…"
Of course, there was no response.
Tyki had needed to get away – not that he had really thought Kanda could have done permanent damage. But the exorcist was damn near insane with how vicious he had been, and Tyki would have rather let Kanda get burnt out before having to deal with that madness. "Seesh, the guy really has some anger issues…"
Footsteps interrupted Tyki's thoughts, and he turned. There, he saw the other akuma from earlier – the one who worked with Anita.
Mahoja stared at Tyki, eyes dark. Her whole body was tense, and she looked as though she were ready to rip someone to pieces. In this case, it seemed like the person was Tyki.
Tyki kept his own face neutral. "I was wondering where you went off to."
Mahoja's eyes narrowed. "Don't even start, you bastard," She growled, before extending an icy blade from the palm of her hand.
"My, that's some foul language. What did I do to incur such wrath?" Tyki asked, before he felt the tip of the blade extend to his neck.
Mahoja had approached him, gaze murderous. "My master did nothing to you," Mahoja snarled, voice low and ominous. "Yet you killed her-"
Tyki's eyes narrowed. "Is that what this is about? You knew her time was limited. I merely took her out of her misery – ah!"
Tyki clasped his hand over his neck, which had been sliced my Mahoja's blade. He jumped back as the wound healed, glaring. "Oh, you want to fight too then? Fine. Might as well get rid of both of you," He started before attacking Mahoja.
Just as the two began fighting, Allen rounded the corner, spying them both. He recognized Mahoja from earlier, but his primary focus remained on Tyki. Quickly, Allen shifted his innocence, forming his left arm into a canon. While Tyki was distracted with the other akuma, Allen fired a blast.
The blast came out of nowhere, nearly catching Tyki. He hissed, annoyed by the interference and quickly threw an attack back, forcefully causing Allen to hit back against one of the walls.
Allen's head jerked back, hitting a chunk of ice. The room spun, and he felt his vision blur. "C-Crap…" He muttered, as he could feel himself losing consciousness.
He just caught sight of Tyki fighting Mahoja, before he blacked out entirely.
It was quiet, and cold. That was the first thing Kanda noticed.
He didn't know how or when, but at some point Kanda had just…blacked out. Fallen asleep or something. He wasn't sure what caused it – maybe the physical and emotional exhaustion. His head was throbbing, and his insides hurt; Kanda just felt tired and…broken.
As he came to, he remembered what had happened. The attack. The fight. Alma. Alma's body in his arms…
The emotions came crashing down onto Kanda once more, his heart shattering. He felt nauseous, and angry, and just so messed up. Breathing felt hard, and he didn't even care about how pathetic and weak he must have looked in that moment – a total wreck of a human who couldn't do a single thing right. He didn't care that Lavi probably had no idea where he was, or that Tyki was off somewhere, probably far away by now.
Kanda just…didn't care. He didn't care anymore. He felt sick, and he felt empty.
And guilty. God, the guilt was just…
He inhaled, chest trembling as he leaned his head back against the wall. He was still holding Alma, and didn't think he could bring himself to look at his body. He didn't think he could bring himself to look at what he'd done…
Kanda would never forgive himself for this.
Closing his eyes, Kanda tried to steady his breathing. He tried, but he wasn't being very successful. 'Alma…'
Quiet. Kanda was trying to be quiet. To not accidentally release anymore choked sobs, because he didn't have it in him anymore. But he kept hearing…
Breathing. Soft breathing, that Kanda realized wasn't his own.
Eyes opening, Kanda shifted, looking down.
In his arms, was Alma. Breathing.
Not just breathing though – when Kanda looked at him, he could see that physically, Alma was different than he had been prior to Kanda losing consciousness. His skin was no longer the strange, ashen color it had been, and the majority of his akuma markings were gone. A few remained, mainly on the sides of his abdomen and a few on his arms, but they had shifted to a dark brown in color, and most of the protruding, akuma appendages and joints and disappeared.
The tail remained, but that was it.
Kanda felt his heart skip, the weight upon his heart momentarily lifting. He didn't even have the rationale to avoid hoping, as he gently moved Alma's shoulder, trying to speak. "Alma…Alma, can you hear me?"
Alma stirred, and after a few seconds blinked his eyes open. They were hazy, but Kanda saw they were bright blue – the color they were supposed to be.
Still, Alma appeared slightly disoriented, as though he was having trouble registering where he was. His eyes met Kanda's though, and at first Kanda felt himself stiffen in fear – would Alma remember him?
"Y..Yuu?" Alma started, voice quiet and uncertain. He tried to sit up, and shivered slightly as he looked around, still appearing somewhat lost. "What happened…?"
Kanda tried to secure Alma, not sure how okay he would be moving yet. He also realized that after reverting to a more human-like appearance, Alma didn't have anything clothing to cover him. "Alma, don't move," Kanda softly instructed, taking his coat and using it to cover Alma.
Slowly, Alma began to recall just what had happened. As he glanced around the room, images of fighting returned to his mind, and he gradually remembered just what had transpired.
Realization filled Alma's face, and his expression crumbled into shock and guilt. He looked at Kanda, genuinely distraught. "Did…did I hurt you?" Alma asked, voice cracking as he began to break down.
"Oh god, Yuu, I'm sorry-!" He started, as his expression crumbled into tears. "I swear – I don't know what I was thinking…!"
Alma broke down, attempting to apologize repeatedly in between sobs. Kanda pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Alma as he ran a hand through his hair. "It's okay," Kanda whispered, as he attempted to soothe Alma. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault, Alma. None of this was…"
But Alma just cried, as he continued to apologize. Kanda still held him.
"Sh," Kanda whispered. "It's okay, Alma. I've got you. I'm not letting go. You're safe now…"
Alma nodded, face pressed into Kanda's shoulder as Kanda kept his arms around him.
Alma was alive. Breathing. Living. Alive.
'Thank god,' Kanda thought. 'Thank god…'
Kanda held Alma in his arms, even after Alma had stopped crying.
A/N: Oh my god. This chapter. I don't think anyone knows how difficult this was to write. Not only is the majority action (which as I've stated before, I really struggle with), but it was just emotionally draining as hell to write. v.v
But the ending was worth the suffering? HOPEFULLY? Of course this isn't the end - I still have one (maybe two) more full chapters left plus an epilogue. But this was definitely where everything hit the blasted fan. I had to keep rewriting and re-organizing things too, because there were a million ways this chapter could have gone but believe me when I say this was the easiest (even though I...am sure that's hard to believe).
I will say, Tyki did play a larger role in this whole showdown than I planned, but I guess it worked? Same with Allen - he ended up being a component in Kanda being able to help save Alma, which, I'm sure people are wondering "how the hell did THAT happen."
So, some clarification on these shards, and the way Anita and Alma were impacted (especially given what happened to Anita - which, trust me, wasn't something I looked forward to doing; I had her death planned from the start, but it still was horrible to write).
In Anita's case, the shard was ripped out from her, and by this point it was in her heart (it's also important to note that Tyki was exactly worried about keeping Anita alive). She couldn't function anymore without it, and this isn't even including the damage done by her gradually freezing her body in an attempt to stay sane, and hold onto her her human self.
With Alma, the shard wasn't actually removed from his body - it's still there, although you could say effect of hitting it with innocence neutralized it. This is why Alma didn't entirely revert to his old human self, and retained some akuma markings (although, now discolored) and a tail. Obviously, this will cause things to be a bit complicated later on (mmm, possible sequel, anyone?), but for now let's just be happy I was able to keep him alive, and get him back to his sane self. I think we all missed the poor cinnamon roll, and Kanda really went through hell in this chapter over what happened with Alma (and yes, I freakin' cried when Kanda stabbed him, and it hurt like hell to write).
Also, yes. When Alma turned back he wasn't wearing any clothes. Remember last chapter the clothes Kanda saw discarded? Mmhmm. They were Alma's, and if you look at Alma's akuma form (which in this AU is basically what he turns into in canon) clothes probably wouldn't fit comfortably on him, or be necessary.
Okay, enough jumbled notes. XD It's almost midnight, but I wanted this posted and up before I crashed and went to work tomorrow.
Since we're close to the end, and these notes aren't the best, definitely feel free to hit up my ask box on tumblr or private message me with any questions I might now have covered here! We're in this home stretch with this fic! 3