Remember Me Chapter 16

AN: 2 Chapters in one week...what is happening? A little fluff is needed in this story, don't you think? You know, before the angst starts up again? LOL. Enjoy!

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Tate House ( same day- Loren POV)

Bliss. I never thought much about it before, not really. But sitting here in the living room where I grew up, curled up in my favorite chair with Eddie's arm, albeit awkwardly thanks to his wheelchair, around my shoulder as we watched a rerun of The King Of Queens, I would say this is as close as most people come. Sure there were things working against us. People that wanted us apart. But things were finally out in the open again. For the first time since that horrible accident all those months ago, things felt relatively normal.

I know better than to take it for granted but I always no better than to not take advantage of it for the moment. There is no telling what tomorrow brings. It's impossible to know when I wake up in the morning if there will be yet another hurdle to jump over to reach this magnitude again but here I am, in the moment and happy as I can be. I smile to myself but I can see from the corner of myself that Eddie noticed. He turns to me with a smile of his own. "What?"

"You started smiling first."

I laughed, "So you did it to copy me? Mature Duran."

"No. I did it because I am too."

I could feel my eyebrows practically shoot to the top of my head. "What?"

He shifted himself so that his body was turned to much as much as it possibly could be. "I'm happy too, Loren."

Warmth that I had associated with Eddie Duran a long time away, spread through my body and settled into my hurt. It still amazed me that this guy, this amazing guy, could make me feel the way that he did. "How did you know that is what I was thinking?"

"You have this look on your face right now. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and it lights up every single one of your features. I think that's what a girl looks like when she is happy."

And there goes the rapid titter patter of my heart. If it was possible I would probably fall over in my own puddle of swoon right now. Holy Cow. "Yeah I am happy. "

He pulled my hand off my lap and pulled it to his mouth, pressing light kisses all over the top of it. "I am too. You know I spent so much time being angry about my situation and the accident, I didn't think that happiness would ever be possible again." He dropped my hand from his lips to rest on his thigh and covered it with his own giving it a squeeze. " I tried to go with the motions where Chloe was concerned but even though I didn't know why, it just never felt right. I tried. I kept thinking about all the memories I had of the two of us, Chloe and I, before I lost my memory, you know. I was happy then. I mean, I thought I was but it was all an illusion."

"None of that was your fault, though."

"I know. I mean, I know because she lied, about everything. But what does it say about me that I loved her that I thought about a life with her and I didn't know a single truth about her."

The fact that he was blaming himself for the disaster that went down with Chloe made me hurt for him. "Eddie, it says that you are a very trusting guy. It says that you believe in people and that you have the capacity to love someone that much."

He snorted, "It says that I'm a fool, Loren. You don't have to sugarcoat it. I was a fool. I believed everything that came out of Chloe's mouth because I'm a fool. I wanted so badly to have what my parents had, you know?" I nodded my head when he looked away from out joined hands and up at me. "My parent's had this incredible relationship, even after so many years together. My pop still looked at ma like she was the only woman on the face of the Earth. And when she looked at him, she had this look in her eyes, I don't know if I can even explain it but her eyes would shine and it was impossible for her to not smile around him. I just wanted that."

"We all want that, you know." Boy did we ever. The trouble is that it's mostly impossible for any of us to find.

"But not everyone is so blinded by the desire to have it." His voice was full of contempt and loathing. "She made me believe that I could have what they had. That it wasn't as hard to find as I always thought it would be...and then boom it was all gone. "He ran his free hand through his hair making the dark locks look messy. " Sometimes I'm really glad that I can't remember what it was like to find out the truth. I don't want to remember what it was like to feel that pain."

God, it makes me so sad that he has to go through all this. Whether he remembers or not, it's always going to be a part of him. "Eddie, I know it's horrible to say, but that pain, that hurt, it's part of who you are. Everything that we go through makes us who we are. How we handle it defines our strength and our worth." Now I was starting to sound like a shrink or something, but it was true. " I would never want to forget how I felt when my dad walked out. As much as it hurt it made me strong. It made me see and know the difference between the good guys and the bad. I don't give my trust easily. That's because of my dad. I'm scared of being hurt. I'm scared of believing in something, someone so much that they have the power to hurt me." He opened his mouth to interrupt me but I held up my hand to stop him, "But that's not a bad thing. Okay, well maybe to some people it is, but to me, it makes the people that I let in, the people that I am willing to trust that much more special."

"Even if they do end up hurting you I did."

I shook my head, "No you didn't. Not intentionally. You would never. The circumstances hurt me and I ran away. I'm not completely perfect, no one is. Sometimes I still have fears, worries. I guess it goes with the territory of putting yourself out there and opening up. Even if I could go back to the day of the accident, I'm not sure I would change anything." His frown spoke volumes. He didn't like that idea. Of course he wouldn't. That was probably one of the worst days of his life. "I mean, leading up to the accident, the stuff between us. We were good. You were finally starting to get used to us."

Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

"You and I had this connection but you fought it because of what happened with Chloe. You made me no promises and you made sure that I had no false illusions. You did the right thing. You weren't ready but you weren't able to not spend time with me and get to know me either. Your defenses were always up, but they were slowly coming down. You were letting me in more and more every day. I knew that Chloe and what she did to you was always in the back of your mind but you didn't let it take over. You didn't let it stop you from trying to move on. "

He smiled, "I have a feeling that you were more the reason for that than I was."

I smiled too. "Maybe, I am pretty stubborn. But what we had was good. Chloe and what she did to you didn't make it any less good. She can't take your nature instinct for happiness away, Eddie. You'll never let her."

He sighed, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Always knowing what I need to hear. I feel like a contradiction most of the time. I want my memory back but then I don't and now I do again, if only so I can remember the times we spent together."

"It will come back. I know it will." And if it didn't, we'd make new memories. One that he could never forget.

He smiled at me and gave me the most sincere smile I have seen out of him since he woke up. It made my heart speed up again. It took all I had inside me not to lean over and kiss him. I wanted it and I think that maybe he wanted it too. But luckily, or maybe unluckily, the front door swung open and mom and Max strolled in. I extracted my hand from Eddie and sprung up. "You're back! " I moved to hug my mom but her hands were full of takeout containers and at the moment my stomach growled. Very loudly. My mom's face broke out in a grin. "Sorry."

"I knew you would be starving. It's that time of the day." She announced as she moved further into the room and placed the boxes on the coffee table. As soon as the boxes were on the table she spun around and wrapped me in her arms. From the corner of my eye, I could see Max drop the luggage by the door and move closer to Eddie. "We missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Mom. Did you have fun?"

She pulled back and her eyes met Max's "We sure did. We'll tell you guys all about it over dinner."

"What did you bring?" I asked looking over at the white Styrofoam containers. It smelled like Itailian. I was so in the mood for that.

"Spaghetti and meatballs from Ricco's down the street." Max answered with a smirk. "With tons of garlic bread."

Oh how happy I was that this man was in my mother's life. He knew just what I wanted, always. " Max, you are a rock star."

"Well yeah." He answered with another smirk before moving over and pulling me into his arms. Who needed a biological dad when you had the best man in the world as your mom's boyfriend? Trent could never be half the man that Max Duran was. "So it's nice to see that the house is still intact. I have to tell ya, your mom was worrying the whole time about leaving you guys here together."

"Why?" Eddie asked. "We were on our best behavior. Well except Slugger over there." Pride filled his eyes again like it did when they first discussed the incident.

Max and mom both looked over at him with curiosity and then moved their eyes to me. " I may have slapped Ian across the face." Horror splashed across my mom's face. "Relax Mom. He totally deserved it. He slept with Chloe and got her pregnant." To describe the matching looks of disgust matched with curious wonder that echoed each of their faces would be completely impossible. " It's a long story but don't worry I apologized."

"Chloe is pregnant." Max stated. "With Ian's baby, what on Earth happened, we were gone for five minutes?"

"She tried to tell Loren the baby was mine so that Loren would walk away from me, but Loren told me about it. I assured her that it is impossible that I am the father. Ian stepped up and told us that he started seducing Chloe so that he could prove to me that she was still the same as ever, obviously."

Mom seemed completely sickened by the whole thing,couldn't say that I blamed her at all. It's the same as the way I felt. "Don't worry Mom. We have it handled. I promise."

"I just can't believe the lengths that this girl will go to. What is wrong with her?"

"That's the million dollar question, Nora. I wish I had the answer."

"The point is that it didn't work. We busted her." I said calmly as I walked over to retrieve the take out boxes. My hunger was revving up by the second. "Now...Mom and I will go dish this stuff out. How about you boys find us something entertaining to watch and move all the stuff off the coffee table so we can eat in here." Before anyone could argue I marched into the kitchen.

"Sweetie," Mom started the second she walked into the room. I was pulling plates out of the cabinet but I didn't need to turn around to see the look of concern on her face. "Are you ok?"

Setting four plates on the counter next to the food, I moved to the silverware drawer. "Of course. I told you, we handled it, or at least I hoped so.

"Yes, you did, but I can see through you Loren Elizabeth Tate. You are worried about Chloe."

Sometimes I really hated it that my mom knew me so well. Most teenagers would be able to keep stuff from their parental units. Not me though. I was never good at it. Secrets and lies were never part of the Tate household, most of the time I liked it that way. But now it was annoying. "I hate her, Mom. I mean, I really hate her."

"With good reason."

I shrugged. "I don't think I've ever really hated anyone before. I've disliked them. Adriana, Dad. But hate was never an emotion I really felt, until now. I don't like it."

Mom pulled out a chair and sat down. "That's understandable, Sweetie. Hate is a strong feeling. Sometimes it can even be all consuming."

"I don't ever want it to be that bad. I just. I just want Chloe out of my life. Out of Eddie's life." It was probably selfish, I realize, but that's the way I feel. She was like a toxic substance every time she was in the same air space as us and I hated it. So much.

"Hate is a powerful thing, Loren. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to stop it."

" I know but I won't let it consume me, Mom. That would be giving Chloe the control that she wants. I am not about to do that." Not for one second longer. Letting her have the control these last months since Eddie woke up had been a mistake. It was the fuel that she had needed to keep going after Eddie. That was over now. My mistakes had been spurned from fear, right or wrong, I can't let it continue. "If I had been stronger, Eddie wouldn't be sitting in there wishing that he doesn't ever regain his memory so that he never has to feel the pain of Chloe's betrayal again."

"He said that?"

I nodded and came to sit in the chair next to my moms. "Just before you and Max got here we were talking about it. He thinks that he was a fool. "

"That's ridiculous. He couldn't have known that she was lying about everything."

"I know. I told him that. But in the back of my mind, Mom, I knew that this was part my fault. I let Chloe victimize him again when I let her pretend to still be with him. I let her make him believe that they had worked through everything she had lied about."

"Loren...none of this is your fault."

"You and Max and everyone else told me that it was a bad idea to keep Eddie in the dark about his relationship with me. I just didn't want to cause him anymore pain or confusion than he was already dealing with, another example of my selfishness. Many people may not see it that way but how could they not. I choose to take the easy way out instead of giving Eddie a choice. I took the choice away from him, all because I was afraid. I ran away like a little coward."

"I hate what she has done to you, to you and Eddie both." Mom declared. "I have to admit that I hate her too. I don't even know her like the two of you do but the little I do know, I hate. And like you, I don't believe I have ever really hated anyone before." Her expression turned pensive as though she were trying to remember someone she has hated before. "But sweetie, Chloe and her actions can only hurt you or Eddie if you two allow them to."

She was right, as always. Sometimes I hated that too. "I know, Mom, logically, anyway. But there is still this part of me that wonders if maybe someday, someway, one of Chloe's schemes is going to work and Eddie will be with her again because he wants to be not because he feels he has to be." How irrational was that? But there it was. Insecurity, deep rooted and ever present. Thanks for that Trent. It makes me sick to my stomach yet here it was.

"And his feelings for you will what, sweetie? Disappear into thin air?" Mom asked gently. "It doesn't work that way, Loren. Feelings like that don't just go away. Believe me. I didn't just magically stop loving your father after he left. It took time, a whole lot of time, love doesn't just evaporate."

"Who said Eddie loves me though?" I hate, above all else, that after everything that was the crux of my insecurity. I knew he had loved Chloe but I never knew for sure how he felt about me. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I don't know if Eddie loved me before the accident and I know he certainly doesn't now. He doesn't know me well enough for that. Yet.

Mom sighed dramatically, like that was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. "I say. Max says. Anyone that knows Eddie says." Leave it to my mother to make opinions sound like statements of fact. "Maybe he never said the words to you, Sweetie, but it showed in his eyes every single time he looked at you. We all saw it. Not to mention the powerful connection he felt for you even after he woke up and couldn't remember you." She makes it all sound so simple and plausible, oh very good.

"He told me earlier that he was happy. He asked me to go out on a date with him." Hope sprung up inside of me as I said the words out loud. Despite my worries, I am still happy and excited. All I have ever wanted is to be with him. Even after everything I was still getting that chance. Geez am I a walking contradiction or what? One minute nothing but happy thought and feelings and the next I'm a big insecure mess. Now back to happy again. I wonder if there is a medication to help deal with the ups and downs of romantic entanglements. There should be.

Mom put her arm around me, "He is happy, Loren. Anyone can see that. Before you came back he was moody and depressed."

I smiled and stood up. "Thanks Mom. Talking to you always makes me feel better. "I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You are the best." I moved back to the counter and started spooning spaghetti onto the plates, my hunger once again taking over.

Thirty minutes later, the coffee table was littered with empty plates and glasses and the four of us sat chatting away instead of watching the movie that Max had loaded into the DVD player for us to watch.

It was nice. We were all comfortable around one another and a happy. Everyone was engaged in the conversation and contributing. We were mostly discussing the events of the day and yesterday that my mom and Max had missed out on but they weren't as horrified by what they were hearing as most parents probably would have been. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing though.

"So Veronica thinks she has something on Chloe?" Max asked after Eddie and I told them that she and Logan were headed to Fresno.

I nodded, "Logan said she has some kind of lead when he came by to pack a bad for her. He didn't say what it was though."

"It doesn't matter what it is, "Eddie chimed in. "As long as it's enough to make her back off, it's good."

Maybe, maybe not. No matter what Veronica digs up, I'm not entirely convinced that anything will make Chloe back off. However, I wasn't about to voice that out loud. It was time to bury those insecurities again, deep deep down. And keep them there. And way past time to change the subject. "Tell us about your trip. Where did you two run off to?"

Mom and Max shared a smile, "Vegas," Mom answered happily.

"Vegas?" Eddie and I asked in unison.

"Yeah. We got married. "Max announced holding him his hand and mom's hands. For the first time I noticed the gold band they both wore. Well dang. "And we have something else to tell you two. Something that is probably going to change things but we hope you'll be happy for us."

AN2: Well...that seems like a nice place to leave it this time. Ha ha. Seriously, I'm not evil...I just love cliffhangers. What is Max and Nora's news? I hinted at it slightly in the last chapter. I hope I did the fluff well...I'm not as good at that aspect of writing as I would like to be but I try. And I hope that you guys understand Loren's contradictory feelings. She goes from happy to worried in like 3.1 seconds. This is a messy situation and while she is happy with Eddie, Chloe isn't out of the picture yet and until she is...she's always going to be a problem. Chloe isn't going to be the only one to make Loren feel that way though. We have to remember that before Eddie, Loren didn't really have any romantic experiences. I'm playing on that because I think that should be a huge part of their relationship. It 's something that a part of every relationship ( past relationships and experiences). But that's not to say that Eddie won't have some worries of his own. While Loren isn't his first relationship she is the one that matters the most and as he goes through his recovery and regaining his memories and all the other stuff that I plan to throw on him, he'll have his own insecurities with Loren's male friendships coming into play and his trauma over the Chloe/Tyler situation. It's going to be a crazy ride for these too. LOL.