Staubbb21: Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy:)
Brittanaloverr: No this is not going to be like that movie;)
Njhousefan: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, you won't have to wait too long to get the answers of your questions:)
dafuq33: Thank you lovely:)
ichigo111981: You won't have to wait too much longer!
Xannaxmurderx: :)))
Glee4ever123: Hey glad you like it! Also don't worry because I'm not planning on breaking your heart again with the whole waking up thing, and you won't have to wait too long to see what happens! Thanks for the review:)
Sheashoeaddict: Next chapter you will get to find out what's happening with Britt's condition!:)
FrenchFan: Thank you so very much! I'm really glad you like it:)
KahlinGrey: Thank you:) I'm sure you won't nearly cry in this one…Hopefully haha
Santana eyed off every nurse she passed with warning eyes. The duffle bag slung over her shoulder added extra weight to her stride but she attempted to not let that show. She was almost there. None of these nurses were getting in her way today. She was on a mission.
She turned the last corner of the long corridor and smiled when Brittany's familiar room came to view. She could practically walk this path in her sleep now if she had to. Nearly every day for the past three weeks she had walked it. It was only when her mother and Quinn forced her into the car that she would ever go back to Lima for a few days of school. She only ever lasted three days at the maximum before she whined enough for her mom to take her back to New York to see Brittany.
When Santana reached Brittany's door she slung it open and walked straight in. Every time she did this there was always that little hope that she would be awake already, sitting up in her bed and eating some horrible hospital food while gazing out the window. Every time however, Santana was left disappointed.
Santana made sure to close the door behind her tightly and walk quickly to Brittany's bedside. She was always amazed that just the sight of her could still take her breath away. She had been told that Brittany's condition hadn't changed since the first time she had visited, it hadn't gotten better nor worse, all Santana took note of was that the small subtle smile on pink lips was still evident every time she visited, and that there was enough to still give her hope.
'Hi baby, I missed you.' She smiled and leant down to press a gentle kiss to Brittany's cheek. Her skin was still warm so that had to be a good sign.
'I brought you something!' Santana suddenly remembered as she adjusted the duffle bag on her shoulder. She set the bag carefully down on the visitors chair before looking back to the door to make sure no one was watching her. When there was not a soul in sight Santana smirked to herself and quickly unzipped the heavy bag.
A second later the familiar big blob of fur stepped lazily from the bag and looked around. Lord Tubbington eyed Santana suspiciously, probably because she had to be super stealth to get him into the bag in the first place. This consisted of Santana pouncing from the Pierce's hotel room bed, duffle bag in hand, and capturing Lord tubs before he could reach his sleeping pillow. She felt like she had just tamed a lion with her bare hands.
'Hhsss!' Lord Tubbington hissed at her. Santana rolled her eyes and picked him up before placing him gently back down on Brittany's bed. Santana held her breath as she watched the family cat interact with his owner.
She had been wracking her brains for weeks trying to find something that would trigger Brittany's mind enough to bring her back. She thought she had come pretty close a few times. Santana started off by singing Brittany just about every song she could ever remember singing to the blonde. When that didn't work she tried asking her very sweetly to wake up, that also failed. Sharon bought in a lot of her favourite foods to see if her nose could pick up the familiar scents, didn't work. Santana thought she really had it when she brought in a bunch of white daises, remembering them from her reoccurring dreams, but they also gave no luck. So when she thought up of bringing Brittany's most adored pet in to see her, Santana was basically shaking with excitement. This had to work if nothing else did. Brittany had loved this cat since they were little and played with it in her backyard after school. He slept next to Brittany all the nights that Santana couldn't. Their bond could even be greater than the one she shares with Brittany. So that had to be pretty fucking powerful.
The feline strode up to Brittany's face and dragged his fluffy tail over the bumps of her face. Santana kept thinking Brittany would suddenly wiggle her nose remembering how ticklish the girl was, but Brittany continued to lay still and peaceful, without a care in the world.
Santana huffed in disappointment and slumped into the chair next to the bed.
'I really thought we had her this time Tubbs.' She sighed. Lord Tubbington purred in agreement and pounced from the bed into Santana's awaiting lap. A year ago she would have kicked him off and not cared in the slightest where he would land, but now, she kind of liked the idea that she could cuddle something Brittany loved for so many years…even if it did way forty pounds.
'Well it was worth a shot Britt.' Santana said quietly and began slowly stroking the cat in her lap.
'So where did we leave off?' She asked, obviously not expecting an answer. 'Oh right well Coach Sue was telling us the other day at practice that there was a scout who was going to come to one of the games before graduation, apparently their representing Yale and are looking for some star quality for their cheerleading program. Coach pulled Quinn and I aside and said if we pulled our heads out of our asses for long enough that we might actually have a shot at a scholarship!' Santana rambled excitedly. 'Do you know what this means Brittany? if I can get a scholarship, I can go to college and I won't be stuck in Lima for the rest of my life! I can like get a good education and land a well paying job, and then that means you can go on as many dance auditions as you want until you make it big and you won't have to worry about money!'
Santana stopped herself when there wasn't an equally as enthusiastic voice replying to her news. That was something she had to get used to. It was easy to predict what Brittany's reaction would be like if she were awake and well, but it just wasn't the same when she couldn't see those pearly whites giving her the widest grin she could imagine.
'Anyway Quinn and I are really excited about it.' She continued quietly. 'Actually I should probably call Quinn soon. We had a game last night but I decided to skip it so I could come see you, god I missed you so much, I'm going to have to go to the next few ones though, the scout's probably going to be at the last couple games of the year. Quinn and I have been practicing routines during lunch, I like it, it kinda keeps my mind occupied for a bit.'
Santana took a hold of Brittany's limp hand and brought it down to her lap to stroke through Lord Tubbingtons fur. He purred in delight and Santana couldn't help but smile and shake her head.
'Ok what else is news?' She tilted her head back in thought before growling and rolling her eyes. 'Oh yeah, Dad's still trying to smooth things over. What a joke. He even took a month leave from work at the hospital, I mean what the fuck? He hasn't taken a break from work for my whole life! I mean I'm fairly certain Mama had to take a cab to the hospital when she was pregnant with me because dad was too busy working. He must really be trying. So he should though.'
Santana continued to lead Brittany's hand over her cat's head and through his fur.
'He's been super nice to me which is really starting to freak me out. Every day he's been asking me how school is, and how I am, and what Quinn is up to, and how he can help with my homework, and when my next game is. He's making it increasingly harder to slam my door in his face every time.' Santana sighed angrily. 'He's even starting to get Mama back on his side. He takes her out on dates and spoils her, and cooks her breakfast in the morning. He hasn't even set foot in his office since our first trip back home. I mean it's making me sick just thinking about how weird it is at home.'
'I wish you could come home with me.' Santana whispered. That had to be the worst part of visiting Brittany. Eventually she had to leave without her.
A moment later Santana felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She carefully placed Lord Tubbington back onto Brittany's bed before pulling out her phone. She smiled when Quinn's picture came across the screen.
'Q?' She answered happily.
'Hey Santana.' Quinn replied. Santana noted that she sounded a little tired. She must have had a big night.
'What's up? How was last night's game?'
'Um…good.' Quinn said slowly.
'Good?' Santana chuckled. 'Don't tell me Puckerman finally scored a touchdown?'
'No, no not that. We lost, but uh…'
Ok now Quinn was really starting to sound weird. Maybe she was sick or something. Just as Santana was replying Lord Tubbington jumped back into her lap and made himself comfortable.
'What?' She asked curiously and began scratching behind his ears. He purred at that. She was actually so distracted by the purring that the thing Quinn said next felt like it hit her from out of nowhere.
'The scout from Yale was there last night.' Quinn said quickly.
What? No…no, no, no!
'What?' She asked breathlessly.
'Yeah, even Coach said she wasn't expecting her to show up so soon. Anyway I didn't know until after the game of course.'
Santana took a moment to reply. Quinn was nervous, she could hear it in her usually strong and elegant voice, the voice which was now wavering slightly in fear. But what did she have to fear? Santana bowed her head because she already knew the answer to that question.
'So what happened?' She asked sadly. Quinn took a shaky breath before continuing.
'S-she offered me a full scholarship to Yale for next year, said she liked my leadership skills and how I took control of the team.' Quinn stated quickly. 'Plus those double handsprings we had been practicing definitely helped out.' She giggled nervously before realising Santana still hadn't said a word. 'Are you mad?'
No, Santana wasn't mad. She wasn't even sad, she was just…Lost. She had been working towards that scholarship and relying on it for months. All her plans for the future relied on her getting that scholarship and getting out of Lima.
Don't get her wrong she was over the moon that Quinn got it. Quinn was the one who kept her going, made her come to practice every day, and kept her motivated. Quinn deserved this more than her, plus Quinn actually really wanted to go to Yale, Santana couldn't care less where she went as long as she could get a good paying job from the education she got.
Suddenly Santana realised Quinn was still patiently waiting for a reply.
'What? No of course not!' She said like it was an outrageous thought that she could ever be mad at anyone. 'Um…Congratulations!'
Quinn saw right through her little stunt.
'Santana I'm so sorry, I didn't know she was going to be there I swear!'
'Quinn stop it, it's fine.' Santana said a little slower this time, and actually in her normal voice. 'I'm happy for you, you really do deserve this.'
And she did deserve it. All Quinn wanted was to go to Yale and get a good education, maybe so eventually she could have a steady job and buy a nice house so she could try and get Beth back. Quinn deserved it more than Santana who had absolutely no fucking idea what she was doing with her life.
'Thanks.' Quinn said sweetly.
Santana felt the conversation ending as an awkward silence filled the air. Either that or Quinn was about to start quizzing her about what her back up plan was for the future since her old one was now shot to hell, and she definitely was not prepared to answer those questions.
'Look I have to go before Tubbs pisses all over me.' She quickly said, remembering the large cat sprawled across her lap. She didn't even care about how lame of an excuse that was, she needed out of this conversation now!
'Um ok? Santana are you sure you're –'
'I'm fine, talk to you later Q.'
And then she hung up.
Santana sat in silence for minutes with only the gentle purring of Lord Tubbington to remind her that time wasn't standing still. She tried to ignore the building feeling that she was about to throw up everywhere. Santana wasn't really sure what was happening but she knew it was bad. What the hell was she gonna do now? She was lost.
Lost.
There was that word again, running around in her head at a million miles a minute. The word that meant wherever she was in the world at this moment, she wouldn't feel any less alone, or any less of a failure.
What was Brittany going to think of her when she woke up and found out that she had absolutely no direction in life. She had nothing going for her anymore. Would Brittany be ashamed of her? Would she still want to date her?
A part of Santana wished in this moment that if Brittany woke up, that she wouldn't remember her, that way she wouldn't be disappointed with how her girlfriend turned out.
'What am I gonna do Britt?' Santana quivered as tears began to coat her cheeks. 'When you wake up you won't want to be with a Lima l-loser like m-me.'
XXXXXXXXXXXX
To say Santana fell into a bit of a funk for the next couple of days would be an understatement. She was pissed at the world. She was pissed about all the things she had already been through only to be put through a shit load more. She didn't need it, and surely she didn't fucking deserve it!
'Santana are you almost ready?' Her mother called from outside the bathroom door. 'We don't want to miss our flight home.'
Santana rolled her eyes and continued to stuff her makeup into her overnight bag. She didn't want to go back to Lima, she didn't want to have to face Quinn and act all happy and normal.
'Why do we even have to go back? I could just stay here.' She growled in annoyance.
'Santana.' Maria whined. 'You have to go to school, you've already missed too many days.'
She didn't need school anymore. What use would it be? She wasn't getting into college anyway.
'Give me five minutes, I'll meet you guys down in the lobby.' Santana said sternly.
'Alright dear, I'll let your father know.'
'Whatever.' Santana sighed and zipped up her bag. A moment later she heard the hotel room door close and she breathed in relief.
Santana opened the bathroom door and walked over to the double bed she had been sleeping in for the last three days. She picked up her phone as she dragged her bag across the ground in boredom. As soon as she picked it up she nearly dropped it again in fright because it started to ring.
Santana squinted her eyes and turned her phone over, hoping to god it wasn't Quinn. Thankfully it wasn't, instead it appeared to be an unknown number.
Santana dropped her bag and lifted the phone to her ear.
'Hello?' She answered curiously.
'Hello, my name is Eliza Renalds from Ocean Dream Productions.' An excited voice answered. 'Am I speaking to Santana Lopez?'
Eliza Renalds? Who the hell was that? And what the hell was Ocean Dream Productions?
Santana was a little unsure whether she should answer or whether she should just hang up now and make a mental note to never answer an unknown number again. She didn't know what it was, maybe the mindset that things couldn't possibly get any worse, but for some reason she found herself answering.
'Yeah?'
'Oh Santana great, just the person i wanted to talk to, look i was just going through all our tapes from last year, you know chucking out the ones who had no hope and i came across your's, i remembered because the young girl who brought it in was so darn persistent that i listen to it.' Eliza chuckled dryly.
Santana creased her brow in confusion and looked back to the closed room door expecting to find someone laughing at her, like this was some form of lame joke or something.
'Um I'm sorry, I don't understand, what tape?' She asked. Maybe she should have just hung up when she had the chance.
'The tape of you singing…Now what was it?...Oh Arms! By Christina Perri. I must admit that the raw emotion was beautiful, exactly what we're looking for!'
Santana blinked. What was happening? A tape of her singing? She didn't even remember anyone filming her… I mean it couldn't have been Brittany because she was watching her for the whole performance.
Unless…ugh Hummel!
No, wait, the lady said she spoke with a girl…
'Um, you said you spoke with a girl? Do you remember what she looked like by any chance?' Santana questioned. She already had a pretty damn good idea about who it could be but she wanted to make sure.
'Oh sure, um, oh yes she had blonde hair aaaand…' Eliza drifted off as she tried to remember back.
'How were her eyes?' Santana asked quietly.
'Well I don't usually notice the colour of someone's eyes when I first meet them, but oh my god –'
'Brittany.' She breathed.
'Oh yes that's it!' Eliza yelled through the phone. 'Really nice girl, a little quirky, but very polite. She was the first person in a long time to come to me that I've actually felt bad about turning away.'
Santana was too in shock to laugh along with the woman. Brittany had given this lady a tape of her singing?
'Uh so why were you calling me?'
'Oh right! Anyway i had another listen to your tape and you know what, you are good, very good in fact and i think you should come up to have a meeting with me about a possible future for you with us, what do you say?' She could practically hear Eliza's smile travelling through the phone.
The only word that stood out for her during that ramble was the word 'future'. A possible future.
'F-future in what?' Santana stuttered nervously.
The woman on the other end chuckled in mockery. 'A future in singing and performing Santana. Ocean Dream Productions has ranked forth in this year's chart topping successes. You would be making a very wise decision to take this opportunity.' Eliza stated slowly, letting everything sink in to the stunned Latina on the other line. 'Oh and Santana, I'm a very busy woman so I'm afraid you're going to have to give me an answer now. Will you come to the studio so we can see you sing live?'
Santana could feel her heart just about beating outside of her chest. She hadn't felt such a rush in a very long time. This was a future, and not just any future, her dream future. This is what she had always wanted.
'Santana?'
'I'll be there Thursday!' Santana blurted before her mind could talk her out of it.
'Excellent. Be there no later than nine thirty AM, Amy at reception will direct you where to go when you arrive.' Eliza began listing off. She seemed to be back to business mode. Santana didn't have any paper to write this down so she was desperately trying to lock every word into her memory.
'Oh and Santana?'
'Yes?' She asked quietly.
'Come with a song prepared.'
XXXXXXXXXXX
Santana was quick to lock herself away in her room when she finally arrived home. She was uncharacteristically quiet on the flight back to Lima and the car ride home, noted by her mother. Maria thought perhaps she was just upset she was leaving Brittany again, so she chose not to bring the subject up.
It wasn't until she heard a knock on her door that Santana quickly closed her laptop, which she had been googling Ocean Dreams Productions on, and desperately tried to dry the unexpected tears which were falling freely from her eyes.
'Who is it?' She asked shakily.
'Uh, it's just me Santana.' Her father answered. 'Do you mind if I come in?'
'Do I have a choice?' she spat angrily, but it sounded much weaker than it should have. A moment later her bedroom door creaked open to expose her father's saddened face. She was quick to wrap herself back in her covers and turn the opposite way to him.
'You looked a little upset when you got home, I just wanted to see if you were ok?' He asked sweetly.
'I'm fine.' She stated.
Carlos sighed deeply. 'I wish you would talk to me.'
'Yeah well I wish you would stop talking to me.' She returned.
'Santana you may not believe that I love you but I do, and if something's bothering you I would like to help, in any way you seem fit.'
Santana sighed without turning to meet his gaze. She actually really did want to talk about what was bothering her but she was expecting it to be like Quinn or Sharon, but she couldn't see them until tomorrow, that meant a sleepless night.
'A lady called me today, asked me to come and sing for her at her record company in New York.' Santana started. 'Brittany apparently brought her a tape of me singing last year.'
She waited in silence for her father's answer.
'Congratulations Santana, you deserve all the success in the world.' Carlos said.
Santana scrunched her brow. 'What no insult about not going into Medicine?'
'If performing makes you happy, then performing is what you will do.' He said simply. Santana rolled her eyes. He was really starting to make her feel sick. 'But Santana, I don't really understand why you're upset? Are you nervous?'
'No.' she shook her head. 'I'm afraid.'
'Afraid of what?'
Santana closed her eyes tight. She couldn't believe she was confessing all this to her dad, and even more surprisingly, she couldn't believe it felt good. 'I'm afraid of living our dream without her.'
'Brittany?' He asked to clarify. Santana nodded slowly. 'Santana I think now is the time to give you something I've been holding onto for far too long.'
Santana turned onto her other side in curiosity so she could see what her father was doing. She watched as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and retrieved a small piece of carefully folded paper.
Santana eyed him suspiciously as he handed her the paper.
'Brittany told me to give this to you when the time was right. I think this is as good of time as ever.' Carlos stated quietly and handed his daughter the note Brittany had scribbled down all that time ago in his office. When Santana held it safe in her hands, he nodded knowingly before leaving her to read it alone.
Santana unfolded the note slowly. She wasn't sure whether she should be nervous or not, either way her heart picked up its pace.
When the last flap was open she smiled softly as she instantly recognised Brittany's handwriting.
I'll be waiting for you, take your time baby and don't fight your gift to the world.
Love forever,
Brittany.
Don't fight your gift to the world…
Santana smiled to herself again. How the hell did Brittany do that?
So two things:
Next chapter will have some very exciting things in it!
Unfortunately though the next two weeks are INSANE busy for me, so I'm going to try my best to write but I'm not even sure if I'm going to have my laptop with me:/ But I'll try!
Oh also I love you all:)