*I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT....I OWN 'CONSUMED WITH FIRE AND WATER'
SENDING HUGE LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL MY READERS XOXOXOX
*~~Consumed With Fire and Water~~*
*~~Alice~~*
I hadn't slept a wink....I was so much more aware of an unborn baby growing inside of me...I didn't know what to do and I certainly had no comprehension over what I was thinking.
Oh dear god...This was going to be a struggle.
Jasper was sound asleep his breathing – the most beautiful sound in the world now no longer seemed so beautiful with a weight on my heart. Would he leave me?
Will all my hopes of ever living with him for the rest of my life come to light...My worst fears realised and happening all in a matter of minutes. Destroying my world and bringing everything to a hypothetical crumble around my feet.
I just felt sick...Physically and emotionally nauseous...Is this what happens for normal people or do these kind of bodily malfunctions only happen to me?
Being as quiet as possible...I climbed from the bed and tiptoed out of the door – thanking myself for leaving the door open last night.
Jasper and I did not have our romantic last night together as planned...How could I be intimate with him again knowing that he has no knowledge of our current situation whether it may turn into a nightmare or a perfect outcome?
My boyfriend had been tired last night from his long day of performance and because he probably would have forced himself awake to have my needs met – depriving him of sleep was not something that I was going to do...Now I have an idea how it feels to be sleep-deprived.
Once I successfully made it down to the kitchen without making any noise I took the juice carton out of the fridge and poured myself a glass before putting the carton away....Taking a sip of juice I leant on the counter top looking down at my stomach.
How could I be pregnant? I didn't even look that big!
Taking my free hand...I placed my palm on my stomach circling my hand around slowly and gently on all the areas of my tummy.
This was all so very strange!
"Alice?"
At the sound of my name...I gasped and dropped the glass I was holding hearing the crash on the floor and the splatter of glass shards tingle all over it....Jasper had frightened me and to distract myself from the fact that he had just seen me stroking my stomach – I bent down and began to pick up the glass.
"Whoa...Hold on, let me do that baby" Jasper said crouching down next to me.
"No...It's fine, I can do it...It's no big deal...No use crying over spilt glass is there?"
Great I was babbling!! What better way to make it seem like nothing is wrong when you have no control over the words coming out of your mouth!
"Alice my love...I am so sorry – I didn't mean to frighten you"
"It's fine...I should have been paying more attention...My fault entirely" Ignoring the shakiness of my voice I brushed past Jasper quickly and fetched the broom from the cupboard underneath the stairs...I hurriedly paced back towards the kitchen door when Jasper stopped me in the doorway.
"Alice...What's the matter, sweetheart?" He must have seen how quick I was and how much I seemed to be on edge. Why now when I needed to have the trait must I suck at being an actress!!
"Nothing...I just need to clean this up"
Jasper took the broom from my hold "I'll do it...Go and sit down...Wait for me"
"No, please...I dropped it"
"Alice?" The plea in my beautiful boyfriend's voice stopped my mind protesting and in defeat, I nodded and turned on my heel to sit on the sofa.
To make myself a little more comfortable..I hitched my legs up and wrapped my arms around them resting my head on my knees...Inside my heart was pounding like a drum and my body had started to shake out of nerves.
Of course, Jazz would have heard me because he has always been so intuitive with me...No matter how silent I may have been he would have always heard me...The bed was no longer as warm tonight and my dreams could not comfort me in case the nightmares occurred and came back again.
I closed my eyes keeping my breathing silent...Enjoying the silence for a few more minutes before it would surely be interrupted again by my boyfriend's concern....I don't know whether I could lie to Jasper...My conscious forced me not to but the truth was not as rosy, either.
I was stuck....Trapped in my own mind and the two words I needed to say were being kept away from my mouth by my heart the protesting of my heart's desires making all of this unbearable to live with.
"Alice?"
Jasper rubbed both my arms with his hands...I sniffed, not realising that I was crying until I lifted my head my eyes locking with his.
"My Alice...Why are you crying?"
Think of something, Alice....God damn it...ANYTHING!
"I'm sorry.....I dropped....The glass" I muttered desperately trying to keep my voice steady.
"It's only a glass...Come here"
Jasper lifted me from the sofa underneath my shoulders and replaced my spot and lifted me onto his lap..I snuggled into him hiding my stomach with my arms placed out in front of me on my legs.
"Have you slept at all?"
I shook my head...Well at least THAT was the truth....Jasper used one of his hands to stroke my hair and the other was viced around one of my arms.
"Is this about the deal?"
"No....Everyone has their days where they can't sleep, right?"
"Sure they do...But sweetheart, you're trembling....Does your stomach hurt?"
"What?"
"When I came into the kitchen you were rubbing your stomach...Shall I get you some painkillers?"
"Oh, no...I'm alright now, really"
"I am sorry that I have to leave today...I want so much to stay with you"
No you wouldn't!
"Well it's your chance to fulfil a dream...No girlfriend can stand in the way of her boyfriends goals...It takes two to make a relationship work and you know I am not going anywhere"
"I appreciate that, baby...More than you know. But god, I will miss you"
"I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't miss you...I am afraid honesty will change everything and make you stay when it is your fate to go"
"So...What has got you all upset?"
Shit....Quick answer....Quick answer.....Quicker!!
"I just know that you will be gone in a few hours and...It hurts a little"
"Oh baby...I am hurting, too but if there was any way that I could stay then believe me...I would take it without a second moment's thought"
I lifted my head up to him..My face side view onto his as he smiled at me his stunning eyes dancing as the corners of his mouth lifted. "I love you, Jazz...I want you to know that nothing is ever going to change that...My opinion of you is never going to change"
"Come here" Jazz put his index finger under my chin and brought my head towards his connecting our mouths and parting them on the first touch to connect our tongues...Once feeling his tongue on mine – I inched closer to him letting him lead our kiss.
How can i sit here and lie to my boyfriend who is just my world and everything that I am...How can I have the courage to create the first lie in our relationship?
The truth in my mind was that Jasper would probably never kiss me like this again and that thought was too much for me to think about...I inched closer and closer to Jasper as he brilliantly caressed every area of my wanting mouth creating my heart to beat even faster and the tingles to reappear underneath my cold skin.
As my hands came off of my stomach...I pulled my lips off of Jasper's but he did not seem to notice as he had already moved to kiss the areas of my face. In his arms – I felt like a baby myself...He was my protector from the world, with the ability to make me worship him every word he spoke and every touch he made.
I tilted my head back as he moved to the side of my neck...My self-control deteriorating fast every kiss he made to my skin...All I did was close my eyes keeping my hands on my stomach placing them both together so as not to feel the temptation of having to touch him back in return.
"I adore you, my sparrow" he whispered into my ear his breath making my skin cold from the goose bumps.
"Jasper...You're making me sleepy" I replied my voice husky from his touch on me.
"That's the whole point, my love...You need to have at least some sleep before the morning comes"
"What time is it?"
"Just gone three...Not dawn yet"
"Hmm"
I fell limb on Jasper...The sleep taking me under quickly and into the depths of my self-conscious...My amazing boyfriend always knew the right things to do and the right things to say...I was the luckiest girl in the world.
I can't stop that feeling of luck...Not now, I can't.
Things were getting better for us both slowly.
I can't ruin that....
I just can't.
*~~Jasper~~*
*(Four hours later)*
My poor little sparrow....
She had been awake for most of the night and I, having got up early had already managed to shower and pack the majority of my things for my week with the band – Alice was still asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake her. Alex was planning to be round here at about nine so there was still time to say goodbye to Alice...But no matter how much I wanted her to wake up – she needed the sleep more than I did.
Leaving my suitcase upstairs...I made my way into the kitchen suddenly stopping when there was a soft tap at the front door....Pacing over to the door...I unlocked it with the keys and opened to find my sister smiling.
"I'm sorry...I know it's a little early but I wanted to see you off" she whispered causing me to smile.
"Come in, Bell" I said opening the door for her...She stepped in and as quietly as humanely possible..I shut the front door again after her.
"So...Are you nervous?"
I took her hand and led her into the kitchen...She sat down and gazed up at me.
"I'm terrified" I admitted taking out the juice from the fridge and grabbing two glasses from the cabinet.
"There's no need to be...Alice will be well looked after"
"No, I know that Bell....I just...I really don't want to leave her"
"Don't let her catch you saying that...Have you not yet noticed how insisting she can be?"
"I know" I sat down opposite my sister.
"Anyway...It's only for a week"
"A week is a long time...I mean, look at you and I in the hospital for a week – I mean that seemed like years!"
"This isn't the hospital and besides all of you are going to be so busy the time will fly before you have even registered that you all have to come home again"
"I hope you're right"
"I'm always right!" Bella sang as she sipped the juice from her glass.
"Where's Paul?"
"He's still at the hotel – poor baby was up all night with jetlag so...I let him sleep"
"Alice didn't sleep, either"
"Oh, really?"
"No...She said it was because she was going to miss me...But I can't help but think that she was keeping something from me"
"Jazz...If there was something she wanted to say to you – she would have said it by now"
"I thought that, too"
"The best thing that you can do for you and for Alice is to go away and work as hard as you can...Because; we both want this for you so much. Now is not the time to hold back"
"Thanks, Bell"
"No problem...So when is Alex going to be showing his cute little face?"
"Around nine"
"Is Alice still asleep?"
"Yes"
"Is your stuff packed?"
"Most of it...I just need to get my wash bag from the bathroom – I didn't get it on principle in case I woke Alice up"
"Right...You stay here, I will go and get your things and bring them down"
"No – you don't have to do that"
"Calming times for you, mister!"
Bella got up off the chair slowly and walked out of the room kicking off her shoes before climbing the stairs.
My sister's support has meant so much to me over the years but right now...There was never a moment where I had loved my elder sister more.
A true Hale at heart was Bella....A fighter and nothing was ever going to change that.
*~~Alice~~*
"Alice?"
I mumbled at the whispering of my name opening my eyes to find Bella staring back at me...Panic took me over then before I could even register I was even awake.
"Where's Jasper...Is he alright?"
"Calm down, honey...He is downstairs....Why haven't you told him yet?"
Immediately ignoring Bella's question I shot up from the bed and walked around it "I guess I better have a shower then, to see him off" I managed to successfully pass Bella before she had a chance to stop me.
"This isn't going to go away, Alice" I shut the bathroom door and stripped out of my pyjamas – needing to have the warm water on my skin to take away the coldness....The usual sign of when I had not slept very well was my deteriorating temperature.
I turned on the water and stepped in wetting my hair and taking my shampoo and conditioner out.
The time in the shower gave me the rightful decision of waiting until Jasper came back from his week away...That means that he can live out the dream for a while and then telling him that he should carry on and that I am carrying his child will take the edge away from things. He was bound to be nervous right now – something that we have always wanted to do always seems daunting at first but there are ways that we can get into it. The greatest way that Jazz can do the best that he can do is to know that I was okay and that I was going to be looked after by Bella and Paul.
He did not need disappointment...Not now, especially not now!
*~~Jasper~~*
"Thanks, Bell" I said to my sister appreciatively as she came down the stairs with the rest of my things...I had moved to the sofa lounging on it properly and controlling the building nausea in my stomach as the minutes went by.
"Alice is in the shower..She will be down, soon"
"Great!"
Bella ran to get the front door when there was another couple of quiet knocks on the glass...I had a feeling that I wouldn't be allowed to do anything for the rest of the morning...After a little reconciliation outside on the path Bella led Paul into the house...Paul shooting a glance in my direction along with a smile.
"I have a feeling that I should have to ask you for an autograph soon enough, buddy" he said as he took off his shoes and pulled Bell into his lap on the armchair.
"I won't hold you to anything" I replied returning the smile "did you have a good flight?"
"I did, thanks...Sucks that Oz is so far away but hey...Can't complain if I am in the company of great people"
"And by great...He means, me" Bella remarked making me shake my head...Always the optimist and teaser, Bella.
"Of course" Paul said kissing her cheek as she squirmed underneath him. "How's Alice doing?"
"She's in the shower but...She had a rough night last night"
"I am not surprised"
"Yeah it was bound to happen...The missing part – you never realise how much you will miss someone until the actual day you go away"
"It's only for a week, though buddy chances are that she will be here even more enthusiastic to see you"
"I can't wait for that" I replied to Paul honestly.
Apart from the conversation with my sister and future brother-in-law it was a quiet morning...The calm before my storm of a week ahead.
I only hope that Alice will be alright with my sister for a week...As much as I love her, even Bella can have her annoying moments.
I had faith in my sparrow to get through the week after all....Without her – I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place....Which I loved her even more for.
If that was even possible!
*~~Alice~~*
*(An hour later)*
Touching up the last of mascara to my eyelashes...I found myself sighing.
A week with this burden thankfully the pain being taken away only slightly by having two people in my company who know what has happened....I was going to be in for a lot of persuasion this week and all of it in the hands of my soon to hopefully be sister-in-law. However, even if Jazz and I never make that large step in our relationship...Bella will never stop being my sister – after showing me such kindness and friendship my first days in this house it was hard for me to ever not love her like a sister.
I put my small makeup bag in my bedside drawer and continued to sit on the bed...I heard Paul come into the house about an hour ago and from up here with the door closed there was still the odd muffling of voices from downstairs in the living room.
The silence of the bedroom was a nice haven for my overflowing mind and heightened emotion...Jasper's face when he sat me on his lap in the early hours of this morning will become forever branded in my memory...There were occasional looks during the time we have been together where I have been inclined to believe that he loved me in return as much as I loved him in my way but that face...All of last night made those beliefs concrete.
Sometimes it takes a situation when a couple are together in the early hours of the morning to realise your boyfriend/girlfriend's feelings for you.
"Alice?"
I lifted my head instantly at the sound of my name in the always so amazing voice of my boyfriend's....Looking at him I cannot only call his voice amazing – everything about him was so stunning and beautiful...No mean streak existed inside of him and he had such strong morals and beliefs that he lives his life by. How had I gone my life before all of this without getting to know another family remotely like the Hale's...Of course, that would be stupid because the Hales are the Hales and so as a result they are all one of a kind. The type of family that any person would be blessed to be in contact with.
I had been welcomed so easily sometimes I felt as if I had known them all my life.
"Are you going?"
"Alex just rang me...He will be here in about ten minutes" Jasper informed me as he sat next to me taking one of my hands firmly in his.
"Right...Well this is goodbye, then"
"I know you are upset, baby"
"I have to be strong...Anyway, I am more proud of you than I am upset that you're going"
"Can I kiss you?"
"When have you ever needed to ask?"
"I feel like you might want to talk in this time before I have to go"
"No...Talking's the last thing on my mind...Please kiss me"
"With pleasure" Jasper said with a smile before touching his lips with my own...He was gentle but I was not prepared to be gentle..I leant my body closer to his and he immediately being so in-tune with me pulled me onto his lap and caressed my mouth with his tongue..I could only lean my head away to try and deepen the kiss at a different angle. What was I going to do without his kisses?
What was I going to do without him?
"Jazz?"
"Hmm" He responded moving to my neck.
"If you don't go now...You never will"
"Oh baby...I want you so much right now"
"I know...We have all the time in the world after next week...Just wait for it"
"Okay"
Jasper lifted up his head and kissed me on the nose "come downstairs with me?"
"Okay" I said kissing his nose and letting him take me out of the room and down the stairs, my security washing over me from the feel of his hand wrapped around my own.
Alex was already in the living room when Jasper and I came down the stairs.
"You ready then, buddy?"
As Alex asked Jasper that question he shot a smile and a nod in my direction...I returned my own smile back to him before glancing at Bella and Paul on the sofa.
My stomach churned as Bella gave me a persuading look...I shook my head once and looked down at the floor.
"Yes...Well, bye everyone" I saw Bella and Paul get up from the corner of my eye and I immediately leant over to kiss Jasper on the cheek and take my hand away from his and walk back up the stairs.
I couldn't face saying goodbye to him...Not when I would probably have to endure the goodbye when he hears the news in a weeks time.
This was all so hard!!
*~~Jasper~~*
"Have a good one, Jazz" Paul said shaking my hand....I thanked him and turned to my sister.
"Look after her for me?" I asked pulling her into a one-arm hug.
"Of course I will" she replied her and Paul following me out of the door and towards the van.
"Here let me take that" Alex said taking my suitcase - my guitar was strapped firmly to my back..I was about to open the door to the van when the calling of my name stopped me.
"Jazz!"
I walked back around the van and saw Bella running towards me.
"What is it, Bella?" I asked
"I have something I need to tell you"
"You coming, Jazz?" I heard Alex call from the driver's seat.
"One minute" I replied "make it quick, Bella"
"God there is no easy way to beat around the bush about this-"
"Bell...Just tell me"
"Alice is pregnant"
Thanks for Reading!
.S.
xoxoxoxoxox