TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety attack
WARNING: Swearing, black humour
DISCLAIMER: The musical belongs to Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Also, there's a bit of lams in here. Just a kiss, but still, warning for my poor romantic side trying to do its best.

Oh, and for Alexander being a jerk to Eliza.

And Thomas saying what he should not to Alex as well.

Beware the cringe.

Oh, and Aaron loses it. Yep, the day has arrived.

I don't know if I like how this last part turned out... I didn't want to write long-ass flashbacks but sometimes I feel they're lacking something. But then again, they're just little scenes of exact moments, not a whole story on their own. I don't know, I'm having mixed feelings. Libra's things. Today my scales are tipped to the 'I hate everything I've written, 'cause I could do a lot better' xD

THE FISHING TRIP (P4)/THE REYNOLDS CASE

Vois sur ton chemin [See upon your path]
Gamins oubliés égarés [children lost and forgotten]
Donne leur la main [take them by the hand]
Pour les mener vers d'autres lendemains [to lead them on towards another day].

Bonheurs enfantins [Joys of childhood,]
Trop vite oubliés effaces [too quickly forgotten, erased;]
Une lumière dorée [a golden light shines]
Brille sans fin tout au bout du chemin [at the other end of the path].

Sens au cœur de la nuit [Feel, in the heart of the night,]
L'onde d'espoir [a wave of hope,]
Ardeur de la vie [ardour of live;]
Sentier de la gloire [a path of glory].

—Vois sur ton chemin (See upon your path) from the film Les Choristes.

Lucy Flucker was born within a wealthy family. Comfort and luxury were old friends of her, though not the best and not her favourite companions. Since a very young age she longed for more, she felt she had something important to do out there, someone was waiting for her. Since very little, Lucy felt she was different. While the girls back in her school dreamt about themselves as princesses waiting for their princes to come rescue them, she imagined herself as the valiant knight, on a white horse, sword in hand, defeating the vile dragon.

His father arched an eyebrow each time he saw her playing the 'wrong role', but her mother simply dismissed it by saying they were 'children's things'. Until she reached puberty, then she called it 'rebel phase'. 'It would end eventually', her mother would promise her father. Lucy knew she didn't believe it, but remained silent. She wasn't rebelling to call for attention, she was being herself.

Years passed and still she still believed she was the knight in shining armour, prepared to save the day. She went to various lectures until she finally found what she thought appealed to her the most. Laws. She could change the world. Or America. Or just New York. But she would be contributing, she'd be doing something else than being sat, seeing the world passing by.

Her father didn't understand, neither her mother. But she made her husband cede. Lucy would always thank her unconditional help and support.

She was the top of her class, she would spend nights without sleeping when finals came and she'd sacrificed going to some parties in order to pass her exams and write her essays as good as she could. Perfectly perfect.

She was glad her friends convinced her to take a break that night and helped her get an outfit for the winter's ball that was happening that night. She'd have missed knowing the love of her life if she hadn't attended it.

Henry and she clicked so fast it seemed almost impossible. Ironically, it was like all those romances in fairytales Lucy didn't pay attention to while growing up, thinking they were too unreal for her likings. Who saw her and who was seeing her now, giggling and blushing and kissing at every chance they got.

Her father went ballistic when he knew. Her mother kept silent while father and daughter argue. Lucy was disowned. She couldn't care less. She still kept in touch with her mother, who had started to stand up more for herself after seeing her inner strength. That was enough for her, that made her happy.

But reality knocks on the door when you less want it.

After the honey-moon phase, Lucy's temper and Henry's stubbornness sometimes weren't a good match. Especially when they differed on something. But when they refused to let their prides being bigger than the love and affection they still felt after each quarrel, they felt themselves growing stronger. Henry taught her when it was wise to use her temperament; Lucy taught him what things deserved his stubbornness.

Like, for example, their wedding. Some called them crazy for marrying at the age of 21. But they felt it right. And that was all that matter. Lucy's father didn't come, made up some excuse. Her mother went alone but happy. Lucy was satisfied.

There she was now, seventeen years of marriage later, as happy as a clam and feeling as safe as she always dreamt; she still practised Law (well, she practically perfected it), correcting the injustices she'd seen in the world. Her husband owned a modest yet successful bookshop (he'd always been a bookworm, and Lucy still found that trait very cute, especially when she threw glares at him during his afternoon readings and saw his face lighting up as one of a little child's), and they were doing just fine.

Lucy didn't think her life could get any better.

Of course, Henry hadn't changed his habit of surprising her.

Alexander Hamilton. The kid's name was Alexander Hamilton.

Looking at him broke her soul, but years of practising had taught her to keep a poker face when needed. Besides, the kid didn't seem to like pity or compassion thrown towards him.

It was still very difficult not to frown in concern whenever Alexander flinch when some of them got too close or how he swallowed moans when he moved too fast.

He was difficult to get information from for the first couple of days, but Lucy always had a sharp eye.

"If you don't tell us where you live, we can't send you back" she commented, casually, one day. He was staying in their guest room, and barely left it. Just for using the washroom, and less more.

The kid shrugged, sat at the feet of the bed and with his glare low. "Who says I wanna be back?" he asked, defiant.

That was all Lucy needed to get to action. The physical marks and Alexander's attitude spoke volumes on her favour.

After a total of five days, Lucy finally discovered where the kid studied. There weren't that much of high schools near the area Henry's bookshop was, and Lucy would've discovered it sooner, but she was waiting for the police to get reported about a missing child. They told her, day after day, that they hadn't received anything of the sorts.

The teachers at the high school helped her without that much of a fight. Lucy didn't know if feeling grateful or angry. If they didn't ask too many questions, it was because they knew something odd was going on, but hadn't acted until now, leaving the hard work to another person. She decided to focus on writing all the information down. Alexander was the most important thing.

Just when she was about to leave the secretary's office*, a child that was about the age of Alexander stopped her. She was a bit impressed at first for his husky complexion, in juxtaposition of the gentleness of his features…

"Excuse me, are you a familiar of Alexander Hamilton?"

"No" It left her mouth rapid, but not loud enough for the secretary to hear. She wasn't very good at lying, less to young people. "But we're close" Or so I want to think, she thought, saddened. "Do you know him?" she asked now.

"He's my classmate" explained the kid, frowning slightly. "He's not come to class for days and it's very rare for him, so I was wondering if he was alright?"

Lucy smiled at his genuine concern. Good to know not everybody he knows is bad. "He's a bit sick, honey" she replied, as honestly as she could.

"Um… Are you going to see him today?"

"Yes"

The teenager passed him some papers inside a plastic bag. "It's for a project. Tell him he doesn't need to read or do anything if he's feeling bad, but I know Hamilton likes to work, but health goes first"

"I totally agree"

There was a bit of relief as he said: "Good…"

Lucy smiled at him. "What's your name, honey?"

"Hercules Mulligan"

"Well, Hercules, I'm glad Alexander counts with such a good friend as you" she said, sincerely.

The kid blushed. "Well, we're not exactly friends, but…" He scratched the back of his head. "Could you tell him on my part I hope he gets well soon?" he asked, again with vision clouded by worry.

Lucy smiled brightly at him and put a hand on his shoulder. "I will, honey. And I assure you he will get better"

It was time to put on the armour.

Alexander had spent almost a week at the Knox's. He had imprisoned himself in the guest room. He didn't want to get out. He still hadn't paid the breakfast Mr Knox had 'invited' him to yet, and he trembled just by thinking about what they might want in exchange.

He was fed by a bit of food they brought him. A toast, some cookies, a sandwich… Alexander just ate two bites of each thing, not knowing what his limit in that house was and not being interested in knowing. He could cope with that, hunger was his best friend by then.

Mrs Knox had stopped interrogating him (because Alexander wasn't stupid. Though the questions weren't direct, he still could sense the woman wanted information) and Mr Knox had stopped trying to interact with him. Lucy gave him the part of the project Hercules had gotten done and so he had a way to entertain his mind. He hadn't heard from the Fulton in all that time. Things were going relatively well.

Until today.

"Alexander, can I come in?" asked Lucy, knocking on the door and sticking her head out.

He only shrugged. "Your house" he replied.

She opened the door completely, and Alexander then saw she was accompanied by the husband. Alexander felt a feeling of déjà vu filling him. He was in a room with two adults he was in debt with. Adults that had put a roof over his head for a whole week and fed him with whatever they surely first laid eyes on. He swallowed afraid, feeling his heartrate increasing and a lump appearing in his throat.

"Working on the project?" chatted Lucy, with a gently smile.

"Yes" It's a trap.

"Could you stop, so we can have a talk with you or do you prefer to finish it first?" she asked politely.

It's a fucking trap. "I can resume this later" If they don't beat you too harshly.

"Alright. Can I take a seat?" she pointed at the feet of the bed, the only spot with no a single sheet on.

"I-It's your house, ma'am" he answered, now feeling his breath caught in his throat.

"Are you alright, boy?" asked Mr Knox. "You look pale. I can give you some water or…"

"I'm alright" interrupted Alexander, rather sharply.

He cursed himself when he saw the shocked expression on the man's face. You're a fucking idiot, Alexander…

Did I give you permission to talk?

He's going to beat you, the voice of reason warned inside his head. Fuck, Alexander, you've learnt nothing after one year?

"Bring him some, Henry" said Lucy, gently. "I think it'd be better if it's only the two of us"

Mr Knox nodded and excused himself out of the room, closing the door quietly.

They're going to do it in turns, thought Alexander, anxious.

"Alexander?" talked Lucy, with an even tone. "Honey, it's alright, I just want to talk"

She's lying.

"Honey, do you know the Fulton?"

Alexander felt his vision blurring after hearing that cursed surname. She knows them. They know each other. They're going to beat you, to pass you as a rag doll from house to house to vent their frustrations.

"Alexander, honey, breathe" soothed Lucy, getting up slowly and kneeling in front of him. "Can I touch you?"

It's a trap, don't answer. Just let her touch you or it'll be worse.

"I'm just going to grab your hand, alright?" she asked, quietly, putting her hand gently on his own, trembling uncontrollably. "Listen to me, honey, everything will be fine, Alexander" she promised, solemnly.

Everything will be fine, everything will be fine… he mocked, inside his head. The same fucking sentence his brother told him after their mother died, and then he abandoned him. The same fucking sentence Mr Stevens told him before the freaking hurricane killed almost everybody in that island. The same sentence everyone said over and over and over again. The same promise everyone had made to him but no one fulfilled.

"Everything will be fine, honey" kept talking Lucy, frowning in concern at his shaking fit. She squeezed his hand, reassuringly. "Everything will be fine"

"Stop" he managed to choke out.

"What?" she asked, thrilled to hear his voice.

"You can't promise that. Everyone promises me that and they never fulfil it" he admitted, hating how little he sounded, how much his voice was shaking. "I hate that lie"

Lucy was silent, shocked, blinking at him. Alexander didn't dare to raise his glare to look at her, surely, enraged expression. You've fucked up, you've fucked up as you fuck everything up. Now, she's mad at you. Madder at you. Good job, you good-for…

"In that case" she talked, serious, and made him look straight into her eyes. It was a gentle movement, but it still made him flinch, anxiously. "I promise you that I will do all within my power to make it better for you, as better as I can"

It was Alexander's time to be shocked, then. He couldn't comprehend the words that left the woman's mouth. He was starting to feel numb.

"Alexander" she called, her expression and tone turning more serious, but not threating in the slightest. "I'll do my best and a bit more of that to make it better for you" she promised.

Before he could react, she enveloped him in a hug.

"We can talk about it later, honey" she said, comprehensively.

"I…" Alexander shook his head, as if waking up for a dream. Was this all a dream? He didn't want to wake up, then. "It's okay" he said, pushing the woman a bit until the hug was over.

"You sure?" asked Lucy, not very convinced.

No. "Yes" He straightened himself. "I know the Fulton…" he admitted. He saw how Lucy tilted her head to the side. She'd forgotten about her own question. Alexander kept going on, nonetheless. "They're my… My foster parents"

"I know" nodded the woman, finally following the conversation. "We know what they did to you"

Alexander tried to evade her glare, but Lucy again made him keep eye contact. She smiled with superiority, but it was not because of him. No, there was something else inside the woman's head. Alexander felt a bit curious.

"And we'll let them know what we know"

Alex raised one eyebrow, a mix of fear and what he thought it was hope (he hadn't felt that in such a long time that he didn't remember what it felt like) spreading across his chest and transforming themselves into anxiety. Lucy changed her resolute expression for one of excitement, then.

"Oh, I forgot! You've got visit!" she informed, getting up from the floor but not letting go of his hand.

"A visit?" he repeated, growing more nervous.

Lucy nodded. "Don't worry, it's a good one, I'm sure of it"

She led him out the room and down the hallway, until they entered the living room, where Henry was waiting for their conversation to be over. The man smiled at his wife when he saw the teenager holding her hand. Alexander lost the admiration in Henry's eyes as he was too focus on the person sitting across from the man. His heart skipped a beat and felt a bit warm when the person smiled at him.

Alex looked up at Lucy with the phantom of a smile on his lips. Against all odds, the visit was good. Better than he was expecting it to be.

"What if he doesn't come back?" Mrs Fulton asked, her eyes fixated on her husband, who had his head down, supporting his forehead by clasped hands. She curved her lips and straightened herself, walking away from the doorframe she was supporting her weight. "It's been a week" she reminded, with a harsh tone. "We cannot keep saying he's sick for another one. And remember the care system must send a worker to see how the child is doing. One thing is a quiet child and another different thing is a missing child. Not ever your friendship with that Jackson guy could save us if…"

The man interrupted the ramble of his wife by a punch on the table, that made all the objects lying there to tremble. Fulton looked up, enraged, and the woman took a step back, fearing the reaction the man might have. It's been a while since they lost their thing to vent their frustrations on.

"I know it's been a fucking week and I know what could happen if that brat doesn't come back soon!" he screamed, overwhelmed.

They stood there, in silence, until the man lost control over his ire and threw all the things he had on his desk to the floor. The woman let out a surprised shriek.

"That fucking and ungrateful bastard!" damned the man, desperate. "Knew he was trouble since I saw him! If I can lay my hands on him again…!"

His enraged swear was interrupted by the doorbell. The woman paled as she looked at her husband. He nodded and, unwillingly, she walked to the front door.

Fulton let himself fall on the chair again, face buried in his hands as he tried to think of a solution. That kid was going to pay for this, he had gone too far now. How dare he? Who did that orphan, bastard, son of a whore, a kid who was kicked out for his own hometown, think he was? Fulton could feel his whole body trembling with impotence and anger. He was going to teach that unthankful and spoiled kid a lesson he would never for…

"Alexander!" he heard his wife exclaiming.

And the name made him to immediately raise to his feet and stride to where the entrance of the house was. He clenched his fists as he made his way down the hall.

"Where have you been?!" asked the woman, who blocked the vision of the teenager. "You…"

Fulton interrupted his wife by pushing her to the side, wanting to see the kid. And sure enough, there he was, with a cold and unreadable expression, wearing the same clothes he last had seen him with the exception of a green jacket that covered his upper body. The man gritted his teeth in rage when he saw the undaunted face of the teenager.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" he repeated his wife's question, in a raised and most violent tone. The kid didn't move one inch. That made him angrier. "Answer, you idiot! Now, you don't have a voice or what?!" Still, no answer. The man wrinkled his nose in disgust. "You fucking…"

Fulton raised his hand, glad to see the teenager flinched, though he tried to conceal it. He still had some power over him. Good. Maybe now, with the enough amount of lessons and punishments, the kid would finally behave.

He never got the chance to slap the orphan, as a person made their way behind the kid. She put a hand on Alexander's shoulder – the kid was startled at first, maybe forgetting she was there at all – and looked at Fulton dead in the eyes.

"I wouldn't dare if I were you, Mr Fulton" warned Vera, with that polite tone she always used during their visits to the care system. "I think you've done it more than enough times already"

Fulton threw a hateful glare to the girl. "What the fuck are you doing with him?" he inquired, striding to the also expressionless girl. "Did he go back to the care system? To you, hoe?"

"Honey…" said the wife, a bit fearful. "The neighbours…"

"Shut up!" he hollered, his face redder as a tomato and not bothering in looking back. "You filthy whore, you're made for each other"

Alexander's lowered glare and slight trembling wasn't enough for him, as the silence of the girl was making his blood boiling. His rage clouded his vision and, before he could stop himself, he broke the cold façade he had improved throughout the years by grabbing the neck of Vera's shirt, making her stand of her tips.

"Were you hiding him!?" he questioned, throwing the control of his voice out of the window. He shook her, still not receiving anything, not even a slight shine of fear in her eyes, from the girl. "Answer me! Were you hiding him?! Do you know who you're messing with?! I'll make sure you get fired and to never work in this fucking city! Who do you think Jackson is gonna believe and support?!"

"Stop!" shouted Alexander, shocked at the scene he was witnessing.

"Get inside, you queer, you'll have your share later" hissed the man, not breaking eye contact with the girl.

"I don't think so" said Vera, finally talking.

"What did you say?"

"Having Mr Jackson's favour for being close friends doesn't mean having the police's, sir" she explained, smirking despite the situation.

Fulton clicked his tongue. "Do you think so? I wasn't the one who hid somebody else's child. If you want, call the police to prove your theory" he challenged. "Making some foster parents your boss trusts worry unnecessarily…"

Vera's smirk fell, and Fulton thought he had won the fight, until the girl spoke again.

"Did you look for Alexander in the past week?" she asked, deadly serious.

"Excuse me?"

"Did you look for him?" she repeated, looking him right in the eyes. "According to you, I've been hiding Alexander for a week. Did you look for him? Did you report his disappearance to the police? I don't think so. They would've come to the care system just in case to make questions"

She enjoyed how the realization hit Fulton like a brick.

"Worry unnecessarily?" she repeated, with a hint of anger in her voice. "You two only worry for yourselves. I'm sure you're this angry because you couldn't think of a proper excuse for the next time one of my workmates came here to check the kid was alright, or if the school started to get too suspicious"

"Don't think just because you work with children you know how it is to be a parent" the man retorted, with a scolding tone.

Vera narrowed her eyes at that. "You are no parents. A person who dares to raise their hand to their child, blood related or not, is not parent at all. Shouldn't be called anything similar to it" she talked back, raising her voice considerably as the speech went on.

Alexander and Mrs Fulton stood there, in relative silence, exchanging their shocked expression from the man to the girl, still with her shirt under the tight grip of Fulton, whose free fist shook. Alexander was the first one who noticed. Vera was the second.

"Do it" she challenged.

The three witnesses got rigid at her words. Fulton was shaking terribly. Alexander was surprised to see him in such a state. It was more terrifying than the last time they'd fought.

"Vera…" he tried to warn her.

"Do it" repeated the girl, totally serious. "I'm an adult woman, I can defend for myself. Is that why you're not doing it? Or is it because you like privacy better? Mr Fulton, you disgust me"

The last sentence was all Fulton needed to reach his limit and raise the fist. However, the punch never came as Alexander got in between the two adults, pushing Vera away from Fulton's grip, and making the man's fist to hit the air. The teenager stood in front of Vera, arms at both sides, in a useless way to shield the girl.

Fulton blinked perplexed at the kid in front of him. Vera was also surprised, but recovered from the shock fast enough.

"Honey" Mrs Fulton talked, with tiny voice, full of fear.

"Mr Fulton?" another female voice asked, louder and confident.

The man in question looked behind the girl. A woman and a man were standing there, seeing their whole interaction. Since when, he didn't know, but it made the rational part of his brain to fear for the worst. Especially when his nerves allowed him to see the two police officers and even Jackson himself standing a few steps behind the marriage.

Vera put two hands on Alexander's shoulders, and the kid jumped.

"I hope you don't mind I decided to come with a few friends" commented the girl, jocosely.

"You fucking brat" insulted the man, under his breath.

"Mr and Mrs Fulton, you're coming with us" one of the officers informed, as his colleague approached them with handcuffs.

"You've got nothing against me" argued the man, stubbornly. He pointed at Vera. "This girl kidnapped my son, you should be arresting her!"

"I'm not your son" said Alexander, with a frown, but barely raising the voice. Vera tightened her grip on his shoulder, and he was thankful as the action was grounding him.

"Mr Fulton, please, don't make it worse" advised Lucy when she saw the irritated glare he threw to the child.

Fulton didn't get to respond her as the officer had already handcuffed his wife and was now doing the same to him, maybe more brusquely than necessary. The Fulton marriage was led to the patrol car. The man was midway sat on the backseat, where his wife and Jackson (not handcuffed as them, but with pure dread on his face) when Lucy talked to him again.

"Oh, and Mr Fulton?" she began, casually. She smiled down at him, her eyes showing him the disgust she was feeling by just talking to him, though. "Everyone has their limit; thank you for reaching yours today. It made my job so much easier"

Alexander flinched when he saw his ex-foster father throwing daggers at the woman. The officer closed the door in his noses with a thump, both bid farewell to them and thanked them for their contribution. Lucy discussed a few things with the one who was sitting in the pilot seat as Henry made his way to where Vera and Alexander were standing.

The teenager looked over his shoulder. He felt the house wanting to swallow him, and trembled in his spot, his friend the lump in his throat making another appearance that morning. Henry patting him on the back with affection took him away from his absurd fears. Alexander looked up, seeing the man smiling down at him.

"Let's go home, Alex" he told him, taking his left hand while Vera took the right one.

Alexander let them guide him to the Knox's car, parked a few houses down. He threw a few glares to his ex-neighbours' windows. Most of them were adorned by curious figures, glaring at the patrol car, driving away when Lucy was done talking to the officers. He felt a pang of sudden rage going throughout his body. When were those curious and snoopy people when he was beaten or when he left his house limping or when they heard the thumps and furniture breaking, or his first week there, when he hadn't learnt to not scream yet?

People. Always so selfish.

Alex felt Lucy putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, and saw her smiling, glittery eyes looking down back at him. She was not sad, that smile was one of pure and genuine happiness. He then looked at both sides. Vera had her chin raised and clenched, she was squeezing his hand, as if fearing of him to evaporate if she let go of him. Henry had a clear relief in his face, only admitting he had to let go of his hand to open the car and get in there to drive them back.

Alexander softened his features and he felt a sudden sense of calm filled him. Maybe not all people were.

That night, Lucy wanted to celebrate. She put her apron on and spent the rest of the day in the kitchen, cooking all things imaginable. When dinnertime rolled by, her husband made her way into the kitchen. When Henry saw the table full of different types of food, he let out a whistle.

"Woman, you don't measure!" he commented, eyes wide.

"It's a special occasion!" Lucy defended herself. "Besides, that kid needs to eat" she commented, a bit less cheerful.

"You're going to fatter him with all this!"

"We'll keep the leftovers inside a tupper…"

"Jesus Christ and the Saint Virgen, where did we even keep all this food?"

Their conversation could be heard, though muffled, through Alexander's closed door. Vera, who spent the rest of the day with him, and he attributed it to the room being right next to the kitchen. The girl laughed.

"Those two are something, aren't they?" she asked, between giggles.

"Hm…" he nodded, absent-mindedly. "Vera"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?"

Alexander clenched his fists, wrinkling the sheets on his borrowed mattress. He had heard the adults' conversation after they had come back. Lucy had thought he would take longer in the bathroom, but nobody knew he had learnt to do it all fast just in case something could happen for entertaining or taking more time than necessary. Alexander had heard the three persons commenting the situation. They seemed to be happy and relieved, a thing that Alexander didn't understand much, but what truly left him speechless was when he heard Henry asking, in a worried tone, where would Vera go from now on.

"Why did you give up your job for me?" he asked, straight to the point.

The girl blinked, surprised. "Alexander…"

"Jackson fired you when you threatened to tell Mrs Knox everything" he said, as if she didn't know already, as if she hadn't done it herself. "And I don't think the care system would get any further after what happened today"

"You heard all that?" asked Vera, under her breath and avoiding his glare.

"Why?" he asked, confused. "Why did you do it?"

Vera raised her glare, resolute. "Because it was the right thing to do"

Alexander pressed his lips, his chest constricting. "But I…"

"You're worth what we did today and so much more, Alexander" she interrupted him, gently.

Alexander didn't believe her much. Alexander didn't think he was worth so much sacrifice, or any sacrifice at all. He had thrown away his shot of becoming someone, he had given up on life, he hadn't saved the Stevens from the hurricane, he hadn't saved his family for their debt, he hadn't saved his mother…

He felt the lump going up his throat again. "No, I'm not… I… I was sent here to make something out of myself, and I… I…"

"You did nothing wrong, sweetheart" promised Vera, feeling bad for the kid.

"Yes, I did. My mother… My mother gave up her life for me, a lot of people made sacrifices for me, and I let them all down" he confessed, without knowing why. "I gave up"

"Giving up is not wrong, sweetheart" explained Vera, gently, as she raised his chin so they could lock eyes. Her green ones shone with an affection Alexander didn't understand, or thought to deserve. "What's wrong is to not get back up to your feet. Please, never do that, Alexander"

Before he could promise her anything, the doorbell rang. Vera wiped the tears that were about to fall from her eyes and got up.

"Wonder who could it be?" she wondered, out loud, faking out a laugh to pretend she wasn't about to cry.

"I'll goooooo!" they heard Henry singing from the other side, along with his rapid footsteps.

"Don't run! I waxed the floor this mor…!"

Lucy's reprimand was silenced by a loudly thump, accompanied by a hiss of pain from Henry. Alexander found himself smiling when he saw Vera trying to contain her laughter. She opened the door, both finding the man spread on the floor.

"I'll get it" said the girl, walking down the hallway.

"Thank you…"

Alexander watched him getting up. The man looked in his direction when he was finally on his feet.

"Hehehe, Lu's habit of waxing the floor and that step at the entrance are gonna be the death of me" he laughed.

Alexander smiled politely, but sincerely.

"Alex, look who's here!" Vera's voice announced, as she made her way back to his room.

Alexander eyes widened a bit. "Mulligan"

Hercules smiled sheepishly back at him. "Mrs Knox invited me over" he responded his unspoken question. "How are you?" he asked, now concerned.

"Fine" Alex said automatically. "I… I haven't had time to finish my part yet, I…"

Hercules eyed him with surprise. "Hamilton, calm down! We'll talk about it when you're able to go back, it's not that important"

Alexander felt nervous at his words. A part of him wanted to believe him, another part knew the project was one of the two most important ones they would have that trimester. Guilt grew up inside his chest when he thought about how much inconvenience he was causing the poor guy.

"I'm sorry, Mulligan" he muttered.

"Hercules"

"Pardon?"

His classmate smiled at him. "I think only friends have dinner over the other's house" he elaborated. "So, call me Hercules. Or Herc, whatever works"

Alexander was taken aback at first. "Alright… Alexander or Alex it'll be for you, then"

"Okay"

"Dinner's ready!" Lucy called them from the kitchen.

"Foooooood" celebrated Henry, attempting to run and falling on his butt again.

"This man will never learn" Lucy commented, exhausted, in the distance.

Vera and Hercules laughed openly after hearing the reprimand. Alexander got up from bed slowly. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't still hungry, as well as he'd said he couldn't put up with it for a couple more of days. He'd been taking little bites of the food the Knox had given to him in the past week.

"All for you, Alex, eat all you want!" Lucy told him as soon as he made his way into the kitchen.

Alexander nodded automatically. His stomach growled when his nostrils smelt all the scents the kitchen was sunken into. Looking down, he saw all the streaming food on the table and he became shocked, unable to move. Vera took a seat at the corner of the table. Hercules was in front of Mr Knox, and Lucy was sitting across the empty chair Alex was behind at.

"Take a seat, dear" said Lucy, smiling. "Tell me, what do you like the most? We've got baked potatoes, soup, vegetables over there, freshly baked bread here, roast beef and… Dear, are you okay?" Lucy stopped when she raised her glare and looked the state he was in.

Those were no leftovers. Those were not a sad cold toast about to expire. Those were not a plate with a bit of rice. Those were plates full of all the things Lucy had been reciting and more. All hot, warm, waiting to be eaten. To be eaten by him. Sat on the same table the rest was eating at.

Alexander couldn't stop the tears before they had already fallen. He'd never had a meal like that, just made for him, since his mother was alive, since he was a child. Maybe they didn't have enough money for so many things, but it was made with the same dedication and love and thought. For a moment, Alexander thought he felt his mother again with him, he felt her warm enveloping him in a hug. He felt warmer when Vera got up and did the action herself.

Alexander clung to her, wetting her shirt with tears and breaking the silence he had sunken the kitchen into with his broken sobs.

"Sssh, it's alright, sweetheart" Vera soothed him, as she caressed his hair, just like Rachel used to do.

That just made him broke even more. He cried all that he hadn't cried since he was twelve. He felt a bit embarrassed when he remembered he was being watched, but he couldn't stop.

"Now you're safe, Alexander. Everything will be fine"

And, for the first time in his life, Alexander believed in that lie.

Washington had overslept that day. Which was both a good and a bad sign. Good because he had taken his missing hours of rest back, and bad because he hated the fact of getting up around lunchtime. Alexander could see the annoyance in his face when he saw him doing the dishes.

"I kept your share, sir" explained Alexander, with an understanding smile.

He went to prepare the man's part of lunch, hearing his voice muttering a soft 'thank you' as he sat down. He served George the food and continuing washing the dishes in comfortable silence.

"Where are my mother and Jefferson?" asked George, when he was about to finish.

"Your mother locked herself up in the library and Jefferson went back to sleep. I think he has a migraine" explained Alexander.

George frowned at that. "Did he take anything for it?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't think so. Not that he'd talk to me much about it"

"True" conceded George, getting up with his plate.

"Allow me, sir" said the youngest, taking the dish from his hands.

"No, you already had to cover my turn for cooking today"

"It's alright. Besides, I think it's a good chance to go fishing, with the sun and the lack of annoyance"

"Behave" reprimanded Washington. Though, after taking a glare at the clear and quietness of the outside world, he had to agree with his employee. "Guess I'll leverage the last day" he commented, out loud. "Do you want to join me?"

"Sure. Just let me finish this first"

Washington nodded and walked upstairs, to go fetch the necessary. Just when Alexander was about to collect all his papers from the desk the living room had in one corner (his insomnia didn't know what vacation was, excuse him), Alex received a phone call. He answered immediately when he read his wife's name on the screen.

"Betsey, what happened?" he asked, worryingly. "Are you okay? What did you do?"

"… I love you too, hun" she replied.

"Don't 'hun' me. What the hell happened?" inquired Alexander, more urgently.

"Nothing!" Eliza replied, almost offended.

"Then, why did you call?"

"Because I was missing my husband. Can I miss my husband, your Honour?"

Alexander considered her words, and then nodded, still suspicious. "Alright"

"So?"

"So, what?"

"I just told you I miss you"

"Thank you. I'd miss myself too"

"You're incorrigible"

"It's one of the many reasons people love me"

"Yes, would love to see you strangled"

"You woke up a bit dark today"

"Me? I was the one saying I love you, I miss you…"

"And I agreed"

"… You know what? I was going to make you happy, because I didn't want to ruin your vacation…"

"You already did by confiscating my laptop"

"… But now, I'd simply tell you that the car broke"

"Ah, hahaha!" Alexander laughed with superiority. "I knew it! I knew—Wait, WHAT?!"

"Yep"

"What did you do?!"

"Nothing!"

"Cars don't break like that!"

"I know. There's… There's a little light in here, flickering" she explained.

"A light where?"

"… Far away in the sky, ET might be missing the Elliot… Where do you think?! In the dash!"

"Wait, can you see what is it? Is it a figure?"

"Eh… … Yes, yes, I think so"

"Is it beside the speedometer?"

"Yes"

Alexander's face turned red in a matter of seconds. "It's all your fucking sister's fault!" he accused, raising his voice.

"What did Angel do now?"

"No, Peggy!"

"Ah, true… What did Peggy do now?!"

"Using the car without refilling it with gas!"

"Yep, that might be it. See how it wasn't my fault?" she threw in his face, clearly smirking.

"Tell her to fix this! Don't do it yourself, we know each other, Betsey, and you're a softie"

"I can't. I'm in the middle of the street" she explained.

"You're WHAT?!"

A loud horn was heard all of a sudden.

"Keep going, keep going, my sister's an irresponsible!" Eliza said to the enraged driver.

"Get out of the way! You had to be a woman!"

"And you had to be a sexist pig!"

"BETSEY, DON'T INSULT PEOPLE, YOU CAN'T KNOW WHO'S INSANE AND WHO ISN'T THESE DAYS!"

"Someone insults your wife, and you scold her for defending herself. Nice" she complained.

"I'm trying to protect you from a stab or an aggression!" Alexander explained, anxiously. "For fuck's sake, don't you watch the news?!"

"No, they depress me"

"Well, you've gotta watch them!"

"Look, Alex… Call the tow truck or something"

"Why didn't you call it?!"

"'Cause I have no money, and only you know the number of the credit card"

"You haven't learned it yet?!"

"No, I…"

"And why don't you have money with you?!"

"Because I wasn't going to the supermarket or anything like that. I've got my life, you know?" retorted Eliza, starting to get angry. "I was trying to get away"

"Get away from what?"

"From the house, the kids, my sister… What? Only you can have vacation?"

"I never wanted to come to this vacation!"

Another upset horn sounded.

"Keep going, my sister's an idiot and my husband, annoying" explained Eliza, once again.

"Yeah, and what else?!" shouted Alex, offended. He passed a hand through his hair. "I can't relax for one minute in a row"

"Man, you only need to call the tow truck and explain…"

"Why don't you let your sister do it?! She's the one who started this!"

"Because she doesn't know the credit card number" explained Eliza, boringly.

"She can read it! I'm sure she's back at home, sleeping! That's the only thing she does. Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping…!"

"Alex, for god's sake, calm down!"

"I'm sick of nobody being responsible for their actions! Call her and…"

"I can't. You told me to hide the credit card because you didn't want her to find it"

"True. Damn you all to hell and back! All these problems because I can't trust her with anything!"

"Alex…"

"I'm going to take that off her salary!" swore Alexander.

"I'm not gonna get in between that" said Eliza, unsurely. "I… That's your and her thing. I just want to get out of here. There is a group of old men sat on a bench, looking directly at me"

"Jesus Christ, roll up the windows and locked the doors!"

"I think I'm wearing a too long V" commented Eliza, a bit nervous.

"That's not excuse!"

"Oh, one's waving at me. Hi, good afternoon!" she greeted, cheerfully.

"Don't talk to them! Why do you always want to start conversations with everyone?!"

"If they see I'm polite, maybe they'd leave me alone"

"No! Ignore them! And wait there, I'm calling the tow truck, where the fuck are you?!"

"At the park"

"WHAT PARK?!"

"The one we take the children to… And don't scream" She sighed, tiredly.

"Alright, stay there, I'm calling" he promised, hurriedly.

"Huh, I couldn't move if I wanted to" muttered Eliza, jocosely.

"Betsey, it's not funny!"

"Oh"

"What?"

"One of the old men is walking towards the car"

"What?! Don't roll down the window! Eliza, don't you dare to roll down the window!" he warned.

"But what if he's hurt?"

"Nobody's hurt at three in the afternoon! Less retired geezers, that's their naptime! Look, open the glove box and take out my gun"

"You've got a gun inside the glove box?!" exclaimed Eliza, perplexed. "Alexander, our kids get inside this car every day! Why would you have that?!"

"Because the world is dangerous, Eliza!"

"Yes, with people like you, of course it is!"

"Take out the gun and showed it to him, so he knows who he's messing with"

"He who?"

"… The old man you told me that was walking towards the car"

"Ah, yes. In the end, he just walked to the other side of the street. His light turned green"

"… I don't care. Take the gun out"

He heard muffling sounds from the other side. He waited patiently, until he heard only silence.

"Betsey?" he asked, worried. "Hello? Betsey?"

A gunshot startled him, almost making him drop the phone.

"What was that?! Betsey, are you alright?!"

"… Alex?"

"Betsey!" relief invaded him at the sound of her voice. "What happened?"

"… … Alex, em… There's a little hole in the roof of the car…" she explained.

"… … … …"

"Alex?"

"I'll call the tow truck. Be patient"

"Alright, honey, love you"

"Bye…"

"Took you long enough. Next time, I'd call you when I'm there" she complained, under her breath.

"… … …"

Alexander shook in his spot.

"FUCK IT!" he shouted, enraged, throwing the phone against the floor. It broke into little pieces. Alexander breathed a few times and, then, horror spread across his face. "Oh, shit, my phone, I bought it the other day!" he lamented. In a millisecond, he changed his mood for one of pure rage again. "Fucking Peggy, you're gonna pay for this!"

A clear of throat made him turn on his heels. George stood in the staircase, things prepared and dressed for the occasion.

"Did something happen, son?" he asked, a bit concerned.

"Yes, that my sister-in-law is reckless and now we all pay the consequences!" he vented, trotting to the staircase.

George nodded. "Yeah. Angelica's good, but when she wakes up on the wrong foot, she can be…"

"I was talking about Peggy!" clarified Alexander, from upstairs.

"Ah, yes, Peggy, of course" George corrected himself, feeling a bit bad.

"Sir, can I borrow your phone for a moment?"

"Yes, it's alright… But try not to break it, please"

"Don't worry"

"Hope I could not worry…" muttered George.

A bang was heard from upstairs, then.

"What the hell is wrong now?! You fucked up my whole nap today as well!" Mary complained.

"Run, run away, George" he told himself, running to the front door without looking back.

The park was peaceful, Aaron'd give it that. If only the inside of his car could feel the same as the green paradise they were seeing out of the car. Theodosia had been doing most of the talking (as usual) with the children, and yet, Aaron never stopped feeling the intense glare of Augustine in the back of his neck.

Neither the teenager stopped when they parked, or when they collected their things, or when they made their way to under a tree, quite separated from the rest.

"As you like it, dear" said Theodosia, trotting to the isolated tree.

"Yes… Thank you…" he said, with a nervous laugh.

Theodosia frowned at him. "Are you okay, Aaron? You look a bit tensed"

"No, no, it's alright" he lied.

She smiled and nudged him on the side. "C'mon! We're far away from people, with our intimacy!"

"Yep, no one would hear us scream" added Augustine, with an unsettling smile.

Theodosia laughed. "Hahaha! That works for me!"

Theo pulled her father's sleeve when mother and son were chatting lively as they trotted to the tree.

"Daddy, I'm liking the invader a lot less" she confessed, eyebrows frowned.

"Me too, dear" admitted Aaron, a bit scared. "Let's not get separated from your mother, alright?"

"That works for me" she nodded, imitating her mother.

Aaron laughed a bit at that, feeling his nerves dying down at the cuteness of the little girl. The joy left as quickly as it came.

"Hey, Aaron, I forgot the jackets, and under the shadow it's a bit cold" informed Theodosia, running in their opposite direction.

"But I thought we took everything with us?" asked Aaron, having a bad feeling about it.

"Yes, but I guess I got distracted while talking – you know how I am – and might forgot them" she excused, giggling with a little blush.

"Oh, well, I can go and…" tried to propose Aaron.

"No, no! My mistake, dear, you and Theo go with Augustine and help him get the things ready, alright?"

"Alright"

Aaron saw his wife making her way down the road, to where they'd parked the car, with sad eyes. Theo looked in the same direction, impassive.

"I'll remind you again that my puppy eyes are very effective, Daddy" said the little one.

Aaron curved his lips and held her hand. "Stop with that. Let's have a peaceful afternoon for your mother's sake"

"Whatever…" Theo shrugged.

They arrived to the place, seeing Augustine had already put the tablecloth on the grass and was taking the plastic plates out the basket.

"Go help him" Aaron whispered in the girl's ear.

Theo made a face. "No"

"Theo"

"No"

"Theo, you won't go see Philip in all summer"

"… That's unfair!" she complained, pouting.

"Welcome to life. Go" he instructed, totally serious.

Theo groaned as she went, crest-fallen, to where her stepbrother was.

"Accept my unwilling help, I've got friends I wanna see" she said, taking the tupper out, without looking directly at the teenager.

Aaron passed a hand through his flushed face. "That girl is reading too many books" he complained, under his breath.

Aaron took a seat on one corner, seeing his children doing their task in relative silence. The adult thought a million ways to keep the afternoon like that. He would be quiet and just talk when talked to. Easy peasy. His uncle had trained him for moments like these.

"Hey, Aaron" Augustine suddenly called, making him flinch in his seat. Looking up, he saw the teenager offering him a tupper that contained a tortilla. Theo was looking the whole scene with the corner of her eye. "Here, I made this for you" explained the teenager, smiling.

"You did?" asked Aaron, swallowing a bit uneasy.

Augustine nodded. "Yeah. I asked Mum how you liked it. We even went to buy the potatoes you like the most, and it has parsley, a bit extra of onion…"

"Rat poison" joked Theo.

"Rat poison…" repeated Augustine, unconsciously. He looked over his shoulder, upset. "Shut up"

"Your brain has betrayed you" gasped Theo. "Don't eat it, Dad, you still have a good few years left to live!"

Aaron felt a tic in his right eye. "I'm 32, Theo"

The little girl gave him an up-down look. "You've lived them so badly, then…"

"Girl, you're reaching the limit of my patience" warned Aaron, in a low tone.

Augustine almost tossed the tortilla in his direction. "Here, take a bite to cheer you up"

"No, Dad, you've got plenty of years to badly take!"

Aaron took the tupper and the fork, then. "It's alright, Theo. And your mother and I will have a chat about your behaviour" he informed, cutting one little piece.

"My behaviour? He's the one who's trying to murder you!" complained Theo, pointing accusatory at her step-brother.

"Girl, there are lots of beautiful boarding schools for six-years-old…" commented Augustine, casually.

"Stop it you two" reprimanded Aaron, taking a bite of the tortilla. "You've only known each other for three days and you've done nothing but…"

"Dad?" asked Theo, worried.

"… Augustine…" talked Aaron, with a hoarse voice.

"Yes?" asked the kid, blinking innocently.

"What's this red thing on the tortilla?" asked Aaron, his voice growing raspier and drops of sweat falling down his neck.

"Ketchup" answered the teenager.

"We…" Aaron cleared his throat. "We don't have that at home"

"Yes, the little black bottle"

"That's chilli sauce!" exclaimed Theo, feeling her throat burning without the need to taste it.

Aaron put the tupper down and launched to the basket. "Water, where's…" Cough. "Where's the water?!"

"Oh, I knew I was forgetting something back at the truck" talked Augustine, with a fake tone.

Aaron jumped to his feet and ran down the path. He passed a startled Theodosia by.

"Aaron, where the hell are you going?!" she heard in the distance.

He ignored her and kept running until he reached the place he had seen through the window as he parked. The lake. Where a few children and old women were feeding the ducks. He pushed a couple aside, throwing the woman to the floor, and then threw himself into the lake. The children laughed and exclaimed, while the women commented what happened, as the ducks swam away, without looking back.

Theodosia ran to the place, embarrassment clear on her face.

"Aaron?!" she called, when the man didn't swim back up. "Aaron!" She turned around when she heard a flash. She frowned enraged at the kids taking photos and recording with their phones. "Go pester your parents, kids, they had you for a reason!" she hollered, making them run away, terrified.

A loud splash and gasp was heard, and Theodosia turned around, arms crossed, seeing her husband taking deep breaths.

"Aaron, what the hell!"

"I…"

"When I told you I wanted surprises in this marriage, I wasn't talking about this craziness!"

"But…"

"Now, you made us look like fools in front of all the park!" she accused, turning on her heels and hoofing back to where the two children were watching the scene.

When Aaron saw, even in the distance, the clear smile of satisfaction on Augustine's face, he let himself go down again. "Damned family…" he cursed, making a few bubbles.

Alexander made sure Eliza had received the help she needed and that she had a way to go back home before calling Peggy and talk her ear right off for her attitude and letting Eliza live something like that. His anger become worse when the girl complained about being woken up from her nap. After that, even Eliza went to another room to do anything else that wasn't getting in between that quarrel.

"No! You listen to me, young lady! One thing is to take the car without permission, and another thing is to not put it gas! You end it, you refill it!"

"I didn't know the car was about to run out…!"

"A DICK* YOU DIDN'T KNOW!" exploded Alexander for the zillionth time during that conversation. "If you got your driver's license as the rest of the world, you'd know that fucking light means the car needs gas! Don't try to make me pass for a fool because…!"

Alexander cut his ramble midway when, with his peripheral, he saw the desk of the living room completely empty. He walked to it and looked at it for a moment too long. He moved the tongue inside his mouth in annoyance and inspired through his nostrils. He didn't even pay attention to whatever excuse Peggy was telling him on the other side of the phone.

"Where are they?" asked Alex, loud enough to be heard, but not shouting. Yet.

He interrupted his sister-in-law and made Mary, watching her son with binoculars through the window, and Thomas, who was sat on the couch, reading some book, to look at him.

"Where is what, Grouchy Smurf?" asked Mary.

"Where's the paperwork I left here a couple of hours ago!" he explained, now raising his voice considerably.

"Ah, that, yes. It was me" admitted Thomas. "I was cleaning and…"

"You WHAT?!"

Thomas' jaw clicked shut at the sudden rage that took over Alexander's features. Peggy was heard from the other side of the line, cackling cruelly.

"Oh, hohohoho, you're gonna get it!" she declared. "Betsey, come here!"

"I don't wanna…!" Eliza began to make an excuse.

"Hullaballoo, hullaballoo!"

They heard Eliza running to where her sister was. "I knew it was taking them too long!"

Alexander didn't seem to mind the sisters, his phone still on his left hand, and both hands on his hips, as he tapped his foot furiously against the wooden floor. Mary made her way slowly into the kitchen, exchanging glares between the two men. Just when she made her way beyond the doorframe, Alexander exploded again.

"Talk, you fucking idiot. What the hell did you do?!"

"…" Thomas sighed and closed the book he'd been reading, not remembering to mark the page. "Hamilton, first of all, calm down"

"I won't calm down until you fucking explain where the papers I worked so hard on are!" screamed Alexander.

Eliza gasped through the phone. "He touched his things?" she asked, in a whisper.

"Yes, yes"

"That man won't get out of there alive"

"I know, I know" replied Peggy, with a sadistically happy tone.

Thomas got up from the couch, tiredly. "Calm down" he instructed, again. "I was cleaning before"

"Alright" nodded Alexander.

"Because the cabin was starting to be a mess again"

"Okay. Fair"

"There were a few dishes…"

"I cleaned them all before answering my phone" Alexander interrupted him.

"… No, because when I woke up, there were a couple in the sink"

"I…"

"Maybe Mrs. Washington ate something. I don't know, Hamilton, I'm telling you what I saw" Thomas interrupted him, sharply.

"Okay, well. Go on" instructed the immigrant.

"And then I came in"

"Aha"

"And saw a lot of papers on that desk"

"My papers" spat Alexander, bitterly.

"Whoever's" Thomas spat back. "And the desk was full of dust, so I took the papers, put them aside…"

"Why?"

"… Because I was going to clean the desk, and they were in the middle"

"In the middle of what? The desk that was created to have them on?"

"In the middle of my cleaning"

"And where are they?"

"I put them inside the second drawer"

Alexander opened said drawer, seeing a huge stack of papers.

"Did you read them?" asked Hamilton, with a cutting tone, as he took the stack out and started to leaf through pages.

Thomas frowned. "No, I don't read things that are not mine" he responded, taking easy offense.

"There were more papers on here besides mine"

It wasn't a question, but Thomas answered, nonetheless.

"Yes, there were. I took them all…"

"And put them inside there, making a mess" accused Alexander, frowning as he undid the stack, trying to find the ones that belonged to him.

"Not a mess" contradicted Thomas. "They're there, they're organised in the stack…"

"THE STACK FULL OF PAPERS OF DIFFERENT THINGS PUT TOGETHER. THAT'S NOT ORGANISATION!" complained Alexander, raising his voice.

"There we go, there we go" celebrated Peggy, being hushed by a nervous Eliza.

"… I told you to calm down" said Thomas, trying to keep it cool. "Listen, I can help you get yours organised…"

"No" interrupted Alex, rapidly. "You've helped enough already"

"Look, the desk was a dirty mess" Thomas defended himself. "I just cleaned…"

"You didn't have to touch my things to…"

"Yes, I had to!" exploded Thomas, frustrated. "I had to, because the desk was full of dust and…"

"So what? If you're bored, go read a book as you were doing! Don't touch other people's…!"

"Hamilton, if you don't give a damn about your health, that's your thing. But I won't live in a place full of…"

"Then, leave, man! Go spend the weekend elsewhere, nobody wanted you here in the first place!"

And that felt like a bullet directed to Thomas' self-esteem, as much as he hated to admit it. "I was invited here as well! And you can't complain about my presence being a bother to you…"

"I can complain about whatever the fuck I want" hissed Alexander, at the same time, being unheard by his workmate.

"…when you've been ignoring me"

"But didn't you want me to disappear from your life?" he asked, trying to read two papers at the same time.

"That doesn't mean we can't act civil while…"

"Look, Jefferson" he interrupted, looking over his shoulder, slightly.

"What" spat the secretary, fed up with so many interruptions.

"There's a Spanish song that goes 'Don't reproach me I'm unable to give you love, or say you don't understand how I can be this way, for if I'm hurting you, I've learnt it all from you'" explained Alexander, making sure he was vocalising each word the clearest way possible.

"Don't act so…"

"You can't ask me for things you haven't given me. Life does not work that way" concluded Alex, turning his backs on him again.

"You're a resentful bipolar. When you were bored you came to me for entertainment" Thomas threw in his face.

Hamilton ignored his words and groaned in frustration, feeling overwhelmed at the papers in front of him. "Gosh, now I'd have to do all this again, I can't keep working with these. How many fucking times will I have to tell you all to not touch my things!" he screamed, kicking the floor.

"For Christ's sake, they were four shitty papers…"

"Four? Didn't you say the whole desk was full of them?"

"And didn't you say you can't find yours because there are lots of them that are not yours?"

"You don't even know what to do anymore to fuck my whole work up!" complained Alex, through clenched teeth. "Gosh, I can't keep going on like this! It's impossible"

"When are those due, anyways?" asked Thomas, rolling his eyes. "For next year?"

"For whenever the fuck I want them to be!" was the childish response Alexander gave.

"You're overreacting" stated Thomas.

"Because it's not the first time!" said Alexander, finally turning to face him, a couple of sheets in each hand. "This is every time I try to do anything! Why do you have that obsession over…?"

"Hamilton, I cleaned because it was dirty. You're not the navel of the world, less of mine…"

"Doesn't seem like it! You're always trying to bring down every fucking thing I do! I work hard on every freaking thing I do, alright? Maybe you're not familiar with such thing, but I…"

Thomas clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Get off your self-made pedestal, Hamilton. You're the financier of a little law firm no one gives a shit about, not the Secretary of Treasury. Now, calm down already!"

"I won't calm down! And I'm not on any self-made pedestal, that's you! Walking around as if you owned the fucking place. You know you got to work there out of pure pity and the bosses' commodity, right?"

"Look… Y'all should be grateful, to varying degrees, because if you had any other man working there and standing your nonsense, maybe you'd have been fired a long time ago. You're mentally unstable. I doubt there's anyone else out there who's able to stand all I've been…"

"Oh, yes? Well, welcome to the club, because you also should be grateful. Not everybody gets to keep working with the curriculum you have on your backs*"

And both knew what he was talking about.

The issue made Thomas' blood boil, but what made him explode was the cocky smile Hamilton threw his way.

"Look, gremlin, go threaten your fucking mother, alright?!"

"I'm not threating, I'm kindly reminding you…"

"Kindly my ass! Who knows if you're only keeping it to yourself because you relate too much!"

"I already proved I don't do such things!" Hamilton exploded as well, red as scarlet. "I gave you all I've done since I was hired, and…"

"That thing has too many damned pages for any man to understand!"

"Any man with an IQ superior of 90 could understand it!"

"And any exceptional gifted monkey could write in a more specific way than you do!"

The screaming continued for a while.

Mary Washington got out from the kitchen at some point, dragging a chair to the entrance of the room, being that way in the middle of the two arguing men, with a bowl of recently made popcorn, watching the fight.

Something good had to came out from that hellish weekend standing those three.

"And you punched the bursar?"

"… Kind of"

"What kind of answer is that? Either you did it or not"

"It's a blur"

Alexander felt his cheeks burning as Hercules' laugh echoed throughout the first one's dorm. To be honest, his ex-classmate from high school (and first friend) was the only reason Alexander wasn't sulking for not having been able to get into Princeton. Having someone knowing him, for once, didn't feel wrong. In fact, Alexander would dare to say he was glad to know his friend was going to study there, though not the same career.

He checked his phone, as Hercules decided to improvise an act of the scene Alexander didn't want to retell with too much detail. He found himself smiling at the texts.

Lu:

Have a good first day of class!
Wanna know all about it once you finished!
Try to summarize it as much as you can lol
(is this the correct use of lol?)

Henry:

Hope the best for you today!
And don't forget to tell Lu about it, you know how she is
Oh, and I wanted to ask you… Could you please write a glossary of text slang for Lu?

Alexander laughed a bit at that last one and then proceeded to answer. He knew they hadn't agreed with him on not allowing them to pay for his studies, but respected him until the end in his decision, nonetheless. Alex had also declined the chance to be adopted by them. It was unnecessary when he was only a few years apart from being a legal adult. And, besides, he didn't like the idea of being that bounded to someone.

Some nights, he would remember all the good times he'd spent in that house, all the moments that seemed to have been taken out from a dream. The funny breakfasts; the outings to any museum or cinema to share an afternoon the three together; that time Henry had brought the Corgi from an animal shelter he heard some clients talking about in his bookshop; the dinners full of chats where everybody could speak their minds in any way they wanted; Alexander's down moments when Dawn would accompany him, helping him to avoid to ask for more help to the Knox; the nights of insomnia when Alexander would sneak into Lu's workroom; that time the woman had caught him and, contrary to what Alex was expecting from her, she decided to teach him all she knew and welcomed him the afternoons she had to bring work home.

It was about that time when he knew what he wanted to do with his life. When he saw Lucy smiling at each won case, when she came back home jumping from happiness because justice had been made and she had helped to make it that way, when her eyes shone with delight at each opportunity life threw in her way to make a difference, it was when Alexander felt again that call Neddy sometimes talked to him about.

Lu immediately let him borrow all the books he wanted, let him read all her old books from when she was a student, taught him all she knew, let him sit by her side to see how the work was done. None of them talked about how difficult the job could be sometimes. Both knew Alexander had gone through enough to know life was not a path full of beautiful roses, but they also knew they had the power to change it for the better, even if just a bit.

Alexander had brought a few of Lu's Laws books with him. He had read and re-read them countless times. He didn't want to sound very obnoxious (and if he did, what? He was just telling the truth!) but he already felt who was going to be first in class. He came more than prepared, and couldn't wait until the teachers would tell them the essays they'd have to have done for the end of the semester, so he could start as soon as possible.

"Hey, do you know your roommate yet?" asked Hercules, after he was over his fit of laughter.

"Oh, are you finished laughing at me?" teased Alex, closing his phone and tossing it to the side.

"I wasn't laughing at you, just at the situation you were involved in"

"Clever"

"Thanks. So?"

"No, I haven't"

"That's odd"

"What about you?"

"Mine won't come until a few weeks later. He comes from aboard"

"Herc, you're a magnet for immigrants" joked Alexander.

"That's what I thought" laughed Hercules. "Well, if he's like you, I won't mind at all"

"Don't count on it. I'm unique and unequalled"

"And humble, don't forget the humble part"

Knock, knock.

"The sooner we name him, the sooner he comes" commented Hercules.

"It could be whoever" said Alex, walking to the door.

"Yes, the same day classes start, of course…"

Alexander rolled his eyes and opened the door. His polite 'yes?' drowned in his throat when he saw the boy in front of him, frowning at a piece of paper. He gripped the door tightly in order to not fall down and swallowed the lump in his throat. Alexander wasn't the cloying type, not even the romantic type, but he wasn't exaggerating when he thought his heart had just gone 'boom'.

"Excuse me, are you Alexander Hamilton?"

"I…" He cleared his throat, feeling his face burning. "Y-Yes?"

The freckled teenager sighed. "Thank fuck, I've been going in circles since six" he explained his frustration as he tried to enter. "Hm… Can I get in?"

Alex blinked and stepped aside. "Yes, sorry"

The teenager made his way to the room, dragging a huge suitcase at his backs, along with the already fully packed backpack on his backs. Hercules jumped from the still not owned bed and nodded as a greeting. The kid imitated the gesture, dropping all his belongings on the nude mattress. Alexander stood there, watching the newcomer complaining about how the college was a labyrinth, he hadn't even closed the door yet. His eyes finally moved away from the freckled boy when he heard a muffled giggle. He frowned at his friend when he saw Hercules also red in the face, but from a contained fit of laughter.

"What now?" he hissed.

"I've never thought I would see the day when you'd fall over the heels" responded his friend, in a low tone of voice, thank goodness.

"I'm not…" he tried to excuse, feeling his face warmer than before.

The boy interrupted him, walking to Alexander, stretching his hand out. "Ah, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. John Laurens"

"Alexander Hamilton" replied the child, shaking hands.

"I know, I said your name before" reminded Laurens, with a faint laugh at the end.

And if Alexander's face wasn't red enough before, now it was a literal tomato.

"Are you okay?" asked Laurens a bit concerned. "Your face…"

"He's easy to flush" responded Hercules. "Especially when he debates. Or, well, fights"

"Thank you, Herc" muttered Alexander, upset.

Hercules stretched out his hand to Laurens, who was seeing the exchange of words between the two guys.

"Hercules Mulligan, best friend" he introduced himself, receiving a handshake. "So, if you want any embarrassing moments, just tell me"

"I hate you" muttered Alex, again.

"Just doing my job" replied Hercules, with a teasing smile.

"I hope to find people like you in my class, honestly" commented Laurens, with a sincere laugh.

"What are you majoring in?" asked Hercules, curious.

"Ah, true! I'm studying human resources management"

"Informatics" responded Hercules, after a nod, more ambiguously.

"Laws" said Alexander, trying to recompose himself.

"One that has his goal very clear" commented Laurens. Was he looking Alex up and down or was that his brain playing tricks on him? "Well, I've gotta leave. My class starts sooner than the rest for a speech" he excused himself, turning around to rummage inside his backpack.

"Sure, we'll see later?" asked Alexander, feeling a bit empty at the thought of the boy leaving.

"I guess so, we're roommates" joked Laurens, trotting to the door.

Alexander slapped himself inside his head again. What the hell is wrong with me today?

"Bye!" he heard Laurens say, as he hurried out of the room.

"B-bye!" Alex stuttered, wanting to hit himself physically now. God, you're sounding like an idiot.

Hercules elbowed him in the side, with a knowing grin. "So?"

"So?" he repeated, defiant. And it felt nice to go back to his usual self.

"The wedding, when?" cackled Hercules.

"For when you learn how to be funny" spat Alexander, rolling his eyes and going to fetch his own things.

"In that case, you're late to ask him out" replied his friend.

"I'm not…" muttered Alexander, avoiding his friend's glare.

"Hey" Hercules called his attention, and when Alexander looked up he saw all the mocking demeanour was gone. "Seriously now, Alex, I'm glad to see you like this. I think you need it"

"Need what?" he inquired, arching one eyebrow.

"A reminder that you're not a robot"

"I don't like Laurens!" he found himself saying, indignantly. "I barely know him"

"Yes, that's why people call it love at first sight" retorted Hercules.

"'Love' was not on the table here"

Not that anyone on their right mind would ever love you back, a tiny voice in his head taunted him.

"Whatever you say" conceded Hercules, shrugging. "But, really, sometimes it's good to just go with the flow" he advised.

"You're only one year older than me, stop acting like a wise grandpa" groaned Alexander, heading to the door.

"Your fault for skipping a year!" his friend teased.

"Huh, more like my intelligent brain's fault" replied Alexander, finally leaving the dorm and sighing with relief.

He would go to class, ignore the turmoil his heart was still in and how it was harder to breathe when he thought back on his roommate. Alexander was just nervous because the kid was a stranger, that was it. It didn't matter if this wasn't the same anxious sensation he was accustomed to, maybe his body was trying some new anxiety on him to drive him madder.

"I'm gonna text Lu and Henry the good news!" he heard Hercules shouting.

Alexander was starting to doubt if having Hercules around was such a good idea as it first seemed.

"You're a reckless fool"

"I'm fine"

"It's bruising"

"No, it's not…"

"Your eye is blacker than when I dragged your mindless arse here"

"That's because the illumination of this room is crap! Ouch!"

Alexander saw Laurens grabbing the ice bag he had thrown to the stubborn man's direction, putting it carefully on his swollen left eye.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled,

"No, you're not…" retorted Laurens, hissing from pain.

Alex left himself fell on the bed across from his roommate's. "Why did you do such an imbecility?"

Laurens snorted, not meeting his glare. "Said the guy who lectured an older guy who went to give a speech in his class the other day"

Alexander frowned at him. "That was justifiable. That Jay guy didn't even know what he was talking about…"

"The teacher had to ask you to take a walk on several occasions"

"Just a couple of times…"

"Seven, in total, until he finally threatened to lower your mark" recalled Laurens, finally looking back at him with eyes half-closed.

"What would you know? You weren't there!" retorted Alexander, folding his arms upon his chest, childishly.

"Laf told me"

"Noisy baguette" complained Alex, under his breath.

"You made a guy on his thirties cry, Alexander"

"…He sniffed, there were no tears for what I saw…"

"Alexander"

"I never broke his nose, though!"

Laurens punched the mattress and got up from it with a jump. "Oh, for fuck's sake! Yes, yes, I gave Monroe a nosebleed, and I'd do it again!"

"You could be expelled, John!" Alexander reminded him, ignoring how much his heart ache at that thought. "You didn't have a reason to…!"

"After he somehow discovered your family history and spread it throughout the whole fucking college to spoil your year…!"

"Shit, John, Monroe's not the first one who tries to mess my whole life up!" exploded Alexander, raising his arms in the air, frustrated.

"He calls you 'whoreson'. Almost the whole fucking college is starting to…!"

"And are you going to fight the whole college then?!"

"Try me"

Alexander was shocked for a few seconds. "John, really…"

"It makes my fucking blood boil so much" confessed Laurens, with the same venom but in a lower tone. "You don't deserve all that crap Monroe and company throw in your way. You worked hard to get what you have"

"I didn't come here to make friends" Alexander told him, in a cold tone. "If the whole college doesn't like me, I don't care; and if someone wants to drag my name through the mud, let me handle it. I'm more than used to it"

"So, you're asking me to hear people talking shit about my friend and do nothing about it?" asked John, defiant.

"I'm not a maiden in need of defending, I am a young adult!" he complained.

"Alex, you're the closest friend I've got" Laurens gave as an excuse.

He only shook his head. "John, don't get offended because of me. Really, you wouldn't have a break" he advised.

"But…"

"You're going to get in trouble" continued Alexander, now with a faint worry in his cold tone. "John, your father went ballistic after you broke up with that Martha girl, I don't want you to get into more trouble because of me"

Alexander flinched at the feeling of déjà vu he felt every time he remembered the heated conversation he'd eavesdropped between Laurens and his father. He'd love to say he couldn't imagine a single man get that angry, but he knew he'd be lying. Alexander tried to convince himself that having a short and strong temper wasn't the same as being violent or an abusive parent, but he couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend. Alexander would never forgive himself if John get in a dangerous situation because of him.

"He didn't get mad because I broke up with her" confessed Laurens, fidgeting in his spot.

"He did not?" asked Alexander, his worry and anger turning into curiosity.

"No, he…" Laurens sighed, passing a hand through his dishevelled tied up hair. "I just told him I like somebody else, and he didn't approve or like it one bit" he admitted.

Alexander pressed his lips. Selfishly, he'd felt happy when Laurens came back to the dorm that day and told him he had broken up with his girlfriend for real. It didn't lift Alexander's hopes, but at least his heart wouldn't have to stand another stab by all the times he'd have to find his friend sharing an intimate kiss or walking, hand in hand, through the hallways with the girl.

This is what happens when you lose your time hoping instead of working, the malicious voice tortured him again.

"Ah" replied Alex, tightening the grip on his sheets, his knuckles turning white. "I… I hope she treats you well"

Better than you'd have ever treated him.

Laurens kept avoiding his glare, cheeks turning red. "It's not a 'her'" he whispered, as if embarrassed, which was so un-Laurens, that Alexander, at first, thought he had heard wrong.

He opened the mouth to ask him to repeat the sentence, or to explain himself a bit further, but his lips were covered by his friend's in a sudden kiss. Alexander was shocked at first, not reciprocating the action. He couldn't bring himself to believe it. He thought he heard a faint echo of the voice, trying to spoil the moment, but Alex, for once, was faster than it and grabbed John's turtleneck and deepened the kiss.

"Only you two could go from screaming enraged at each other, to kiss passionately" a voice took them out from their stupor.

Laurens got separated from him in an instant, and Alexander turned his flushed face, ignoring how much the embarrassing action hurt. He frowned at his whole group of friends there. Hercules with a smug smile on his face; Lafayette with a sly one, exchanging his glare from one boy to the other; Angelica was behind them, a bag of food in one hand and dedicating a sideways glare to her sister, Eliza, who was watching them with an unreadable expression of her face while she embraced herself.

"Were we interrupting something?" asked Angelica, after clearing her throat.

"No" hurried to say Laurens.

"Yes" deadpanned Alexander.

"Alex!"

"We wanted to bring you some food" explained Eliza, her voice a bit subdued, and Alexander arched an eyebrow in concern for his friend. "We… With all the commotion, you couldn't eat" she continued, playing with her long hair and lowering her glare in the end.

"Thank you" said Laurens, striding to Angelica and taking the bag from her hands.

"Yes, thank you, you're very kind, yadda, yadda. Now, could you leave?" spat Alexander, tapping his finger on the mattress.

"Alexander, please" begged Laurens, becoming redder.

"Yeah, we're being very inconsiderate" agreed Hercules, nodding at the group at his backs. "The guy's been pining on the lad since the year started and here we are, pestering"

"Hercules, damn you to hell!" shouted Alexander, punching the mattress with fury.

Lafayette raised a curious eyebrow. "You know? For this being the country of the free, you all are a bit, how do you say it? Prims"

Alexander rolled his eyes. "Stop doing that, faker. You got the highest mark at the last essay"

Lafayette shrugged, with an innocent smile. Angelica whispered something to a down Eliza, who only shook her head and curved her lips in a weak smile. Alexander tried to ask her what was wrong, but the sister talked first.

"Well, the show is over. Let's go to our dorms" she instructed, grabbing Lafayette and Hercules from the back of the neck of their shirts and pushing them backwards, between whines of complain. "Come ooon" she hurried.

"See you later, Alex" said Eliza, throwing him what Alex thought was the most forced smile he'd ever seen. And he knew a lot about those.

"Betsey, are you…?" he tried to ask.

"And congratulation to the both of you" she interrupted, rapidly, before grabbing the knob and closing the door quietly.

"Damn, I owe Peggy ten dollars…" complained Angelica, from the other side.

Alexander frowned at the door while Laurens let himself fall on the bed, face buried in his hands. He groaned loudly.

"Shit…"

"Don't worry, they're noisy but not gossip" consoled Alexander.

"No, I touched my eye and it hurts…" said Laurens, hissing and looking for the ice bag.

"Here" said Alex, finding it first on the desk below the window and passing it to his friend. "So, what now?" he asked.

"Wait until it heals"

"No, what about what happened before" clarified Alexander.

Laurens let out a tired sigh. "My father doesn't know you, Alex, he doesn't even know your name" he explained. "I wouldn't want to get you into trouble for me"

"Where have I heard that before?" teased Alex.

"Shut up, asshole, I'm trying to be profound!" complained Laurens, throwing him the bag of food.

Alexander avoided it quite easily. "Sorry, keep going"

"I just wanted to say that I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position" said Laurens, glaring down. "Right now, it's difficult with my family and I wouldn't want to…"

"Hercules didn't lie or was just teasing, you know?" Alex interrupted him.

"Excuse me?"

It was Alex's time to go red. "I've been waiting for something like this to happen since I first laid eyes on you" he admitted. He raised both hands when he saw Laurens' eyes growing wide. "I know it sounds cheesy, unreal, not even I believed it could happen that way, but…"

"Well, at least you have a nicer way to tell people" commented Laurens, conversationally, and both boys relaxed under the lack of tension their chat had. "I fell for you that time I saw you shouting like a madman to those who were bugging Laf because of his accent"

Alexander laughed. "Yes, my moment was prettier" He looked at his friend with a frown. "Jackie, what I'm trying to say is that I won't mind waiting for you or keeping it a secret"

"I can't ask you to do that" said Laurens, feeling bad.

"You're not, I'm offering"

Laurens rolled his eyes with affection. "Always with a comeback"

"It's part of my charm"

"Sure…"

"And if someone gets to know" continued Alexander, getting up to sit beside Laurens and hugged him by the shoulders. "You'll fight them and I'll talk their ear off"

Laurens laughed at that. "We're the perfect team"

Alexander laughed along with him. And allowed himself to be positive and think that maybe, this could work out.

Washington was a responsible man. And as such, he deserved his time of relaxation, of peace, of quietness, of solitude. If Alexander and Jefferson didn't know what that is, that was their problem. And if his mother preferred to lose time trying to make his weekend miserable, that was her business. Washington didn't mind, he'd get in his personal bubble and ignore the whole world if necessary. He needed and deserved a break, and he was going to have it, honest-to-God*.

That was why he decided to ignore the first screams he could hear the whole way from the cabin to the lake; that was why he kept fishing and enjoying the sunny day; that was why he took out his phone to listen to some music that'd help him muffle the annoying shouting (how hadn't he come used to it by then, he didn't know). But when not even music would evade him, and he took the earbuds out, and he could understand clearly what his employees were saying to each other as if they were arguing right beside him…

Well, Washington was responsible even when he tried to be on vacation.

He rowed all the way back, jumped from the boat and ran to the cabin, leaving his things behind. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what had happened, but he had to act. He wasn't in the mood to defend his employees from some nearby neighbour, a normal person who knew how to live life. A pang of envy hit his chest. I only had eleven years left to retire, he thought, bitterly.

George arrived to the cabin in record time, taking into account his age and how little he had exercising himself lately. Panting and nervous, he swung the door open, finding a too familiar scene. Alexander was in one corner of the room, red in the face, gesticulating exaggeratedly, his voice making the wood surrounding them to tremble, and sheets flying around him, as some kind of ironical metaphor of the hurricane Hamilton was when angry, or excited, or upset, or any other human emotion really. In front of him, Jefferson responded to all the immigrant threw his way (which was kind of impressive, though it also ignited the inner fire of Hamilton's anger to levels Washington didn't want to witness) in a more collecting manner, just losing the control of his voice in a few occasions.

Both knew what buttons to push in order to make the other lose control of their tempers.

Washington closed the door with a thump, worry growing when he saw the two men still didn't acknowledge his presence.

"What's the meaning of this?!" he asked, trying to be heard over the quarrel. He walked to where his mother was, sat on a chair in the middle of the storm, eating popcorn. He scowled at her. "Mum, what happened?" he asked.

Mary barely looked at him, but answered, thankfully. "Lemongrab cleaned the desk, taking and keeping the gremlin's paperwork in one of the drawers. And that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back, because the gremlin started to lose it and throwing past shit. And shut up, or I'll lose track"

Washington blinked dumbfounded. Not because his mother already knew the nicknames of his employees (whom she talked about all those things with, anyways?) or because she was able to follow the fight as if it were something she was accustomed to, but because…

"Paperwork?" asked George, feeling numb. "All this because Jefferson cleaned and put Hamilton's paperwork aside?"

Mary hushed him, and he found himself also following the fight, not knowing how to act or get in between such a violent hurl of past things without getting hurt in the process.

Slowly, George started to follow the heated conversation. Things he had already pushed to the back of his mind coming back to him at each thing Alexander said. He couldn't understand how he could remember all those things so perfectly well, when some happened three years ago, but George was starting to understand why the man was in such a bad mood half of the time. He'd make sure to talk it out with Alex when all this ended. Please, just let this end soon, he prayed, having a bad sensation about the whole thing.

"Hamilton, look at the whole mess you're making just because I cleaned a damned desk!" complained Thomas, interrupting the rant thrown at him. "You have your paperwork already, go back to your room, finish it, re-do it, eat it, I don't fucking care, but let it go already!"

"No!" Alexander shook his head stubbornly. "It's not just because of this, this comes from a bunch of shit I've been repressing since…"

"Repressing?" echoed Thomas, scepticism in his tone. "You spend the twenty-four hours of the day talking and complaining about every little thing…"

"And all the times I've been quiet" assured Alexander, crossing both arms and tapping one foot, indignantly.

"Well, be it a bit more" advised Thomas.

"I don't want to. I already…"

"With you, people don't have to be warned about if you're angry that day, they have to be warned about if you're in a good mood. Because it's such a strange occasion, you could give someone a stroke due to the surprise"

"Well, I'll pray for that someone to be you one day"

"You're already killing me with endless headaches, with so many tantrums and…"

"You were already having two migraines per week before you knew me, excuse me"

"Yes, and now I've got five a day"

"And I don't throw tantrums, I…"

"And what do you call what you've been doing for almost an hour and a half?"

"That's me, sick of your behaviour…"

"What behaviour? Cleaning?"

"I don't need maids to do my shit for me" spat Alexander, offended.

Thomas was taken aback. "What maids?"

"If you're used to…"

"Look, boy, if you've got a trauma, go to a therapist and take care of it" interrupted Thomas, sharply. "But leave me out of it. I don't want to know about…"

"You don't want to know if it's not to your advantage"

"No, I don't care in general"

"You're a smart-ass, only getting close to people to get…"

"That might be you. Look who you're friends with"

"Who I'm friends with? With everybody that can't stand you, because I only get close to normal and decent…"

"No, everybody with a name"

Hamilton's cheeks grew redder. "If you're insinuating…"

"I'm not insinuating, I'm stating it!" exploded Thomas, enraged. "You get closer to people with a name and in a time of need, you flee, you forget about everyone"

There was a tense pause, the air getting thicker in the room. Alexander made a 'tsk' sound.

"I guess you're saying that because of how much I've made you pay me, or how much I took your personal disgraces to my gain"

"Because you stopped taking care of it for one mistake…"

"That was not a mistake" interrupted Alexander, starting to get seriously mad. "A mistake is when you let the light turned on or get two dates mixed up, not coldly calculating…"

"The one who's always calculating is you. You spend nights calculating how much you can take from that person, from the other one, from the new one…"

"No, I prepare myself and the ones close to me for whatever that may happen in the future"

"Jesus, hanging out with you might be marvellous, always bitter about something that could happen…"

"I'm not bitter, and I'm an awesome company, for your information…"

"…always with the same song on repeat, thinking the sky might fall any minute…"

"Because it could!" argued Alexander, exasperated. "Maybe you don't understand, but I've seen you must be prepared, you can't always count on everybody, especially when tight times come"

"Didn't you have more money that could spend?" asked Thomas, with bitter mockery.

"It's not about that! It's about stability! It's about not knowing what can happen tomorrow, it's… Fuck, if I had spent my life just 'living the moment', without planning things for the long run, I would've been dead by now"

"You're not gonna change my mind if you put it that way"

"Life is hard" spat Alexander, resentfully. "Not all of us had the luck to be born in a golden cradle*…"

Thomas heaved a sigh as he rolled his eyes. "Mother of Christ. Alright, yes, Mary Sue, w'all already know you came here to talk about your book*. You don't need to…"

"See how you're always disrespecting and bringing down every fucking word I say?" spat Alexander, offended.

"And see how you're always thinking everything is a personal…?"

"You invent things at my backs to destroy my reputation, and yet you're still so shameless that…?"

"Destroy what reputation? You're an immigrant who came here because people back at your island took pity of your sob story and that's it. As well as everybody else you ever crossed paths with…"

"I AM WHERE I AM BECAUSE I WORKED HARD!" shouted Alexander, beyond enraged. "I WROTE PAGE AFTER PAGE TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, I STOOD A LOT OF BULLSHIT FOR THOSE ASSHOLES AND THE ONES I KNEW HERE, ALRIGHT?! MAYBE YOU'RE STILL SULKING BECAUSE YOUR FATHER DIDN'T BUY YOU A PONY FOR CHRISTMAS, BUT I…"

"Don't scream at me!" demanded Thomas, feeling his head pounding.

"Yes, I will fucking scream!" retorted Alexander, trembling in spot already. "I fucking will because you're insinuating and talking shit you know nothing about!"

"Well, that'd make two of us"

"I…"

"What the hell do you know about my life to criticise…"

"I do not talk about your life! I don't fucking care what you did when you were 15 or 3! I care about what you're doing now, I care about what you're doing to me now! I care about all the lies…!"

"A shit you don't care. In every fucking fight we ever had, you always go back to…"

"The difference between you and I is that I say the truth, and that hurts more than any lie!"

"Your truth"

"My truth based on reasons, based on things I've seen and heard with my own eyes and ears"

"Your truth based on paranoias you create…"

"You're the one that's paranoid! You can't even take someone's helping hand without thinking they're holding a knife in the other" accused Hamilton, with a bit of rancour. "When was your birthday?" he asked, out of the blue.

"Why?" asked Thomas, puzzled. Then, he decided he didn't want to know and simply responded, to end sooner with whatever craziness had taken over his workmate. "In April"

Alexander half-closed his eyes. "Which of the thirty days?"

"On the 13th"

Alexander paused for a moment, muttering something.

"Good, I'll have time" he concluded, looking back at Jefferson. "I'm gonna make you a glossary, because I see your vocabulary is not that extent"

Jefferson moved the tongue inside his mouth, clearly annoyed by the taunting tone in Hamilton's voice.

"I'll make sure to add important words such as 'friendship', 'humanity', 'gratitude', 'humility'…"

"But could it be possible that you're the one saying that?" interrupted Thomas, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're the one making a fuss because 'you don't want maids to clean'…"

"That's a very different thing…"

"I don't understand how someone who is working as what he's working as thanks to charity can be so full of…"

"I'M NOT WHERE I AM BECAUSE OF CHARITY! I'M HERE BECAUSE I ACHIEVED IT ON MY OWN, SINCE I WAS VERY YOUNG, WORKING VERY HARD…!"

And Thomas simply exploded, his head hurting too much to handle another screamed rant.

"YES! I LEFT MY 'PERFECT' LIFE AS WELL TO LIVE ON MY OWN, WORKING HARD FOR ASSHOLES TOO, AND YET, YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE GOES BETTER THAN MINE!"

There was a pregnant pause, in which Hamilton's enraged expression fell and was replaced by an illegible one; Washington shook his head to look at both men, a frown of concern in his features; even Mary froze in spot. Thomas felt as if cold water showered him while he waited for his workmate to react. That was why he didn't listen to James' advices about talking the problem that happened between Hamilton and him out*.

Thomas waited patiently, his anger dissipated and replaced by dread for the unpredictable, for his workmate to start shouting, insulting and throwing the first object his eyes laid on.

But Hamilton did something worse. So much worse than what Washington and Thomas were expecting.

Alexander stood there for a few seconds, as if processing the words his workmate had just said, and then, he simply turned around and went upstairs, in complete silence. Forgetting about his paperwork, Thomas needed to add.

Mary broke the silence with a sardonic laugh. "Hohoho, you'll get it when you go back to work"

"Mum" admonished Washington immediately.

He sighed and looked at the secretary with a bit of anger. Thomas wasn't surprised he was going to take Alexander's side. He always did though he didn't say it with those exact words.

"I'm going to shop what I need for tonight's dinner" he explained, with a severe tone that made Thomas flinch as if he were a little kid. "Let's see if by dinnertime you two can solve this out. Can I trust you to be mature while I'm gone?" he asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"Yes, sir" nodded Thomas, avoiding his glare.

"Good"

"Let me go with you" said Mary, getting up from her chair.

"It's not necessary, Mum" dismissed Washington, striding to the door.

"Yes, it is. The show ended in here"

Washington opened his mouth to retort, but Peggy's voice through the phone interrupted him and startled the three persons in the living room.

"A shitty show, if you ask me"

"Peggy!" reprehended Eliza.

"I wanted more shouting and past shit. Now, what will I do for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Peggy, hung up already!"

The sisters struggled for a bit before a series of 'beep, beep', sounded. Washington went to the desk to fetch his phone and sighed at the sight of the sheets on the floor.

"Please, Jefferson, clean this" he asked for.

"Yes, sir" said the younger man, obliging quickly.

Washington threw a glare upstairs and heaved another sigh. This is surely my top 2 worst ideas ever, he though bitterly, as he exited the cabin accompanied by his mother.

Aaron looked in front of him. Two parents playing frisbee with their children and dog. Their laughter filled the park, along with the lively chats of other people a few metres from them. There were a few couples still in their honeymoon phase, cuddling and feeding the other with wide smiles on their faces; a group of children playing superheroe by the lake; and a few persons simply walking their dogs or just exercising.

Then, he looked over his shoulder, seeing the deathly glare Theodosia was dedicating him. Then, he looked at his lap, a sad tupper full with nothing more than a salad his wife had dressed wrongly for the sake of vengeance. Aaron let his head fall, defeated, as he kept eating slowly and separated from his family, in order to dry under the sunlight.

The rest of the day didn't get better. Theodosia played with the children a small football match as he cleaned the things they left behind. Later, Theo played with the dolls while Theodosia and her son chatted (away from him, might add) and laughed at some in-joke. The little girl got closer to her lonely father at some point, handing him a Barbie doll.

"Daddy, do you wanna play with me?" she asked, innocently.

Aaron smiled at her. "Of course, honey. What're you playing at?"

"Tea party" she replied, taking a seat and putting the rest of dolls down.

"Ah, we're having tea and eating biscuits?" he asked, finding it cute.

"Yep" She showed him a brunette doll. "This is Esmeralda, and she's going in undercover to find out what Lotso is hiding from the government"

"… Alright?"

"And this is Tony, who's a drunkard" She picked up the male doll and tossed it aside. "Get out of the way, drunkard, you'll spoil the investigation!"

"Girl, where have you learned that vocabulary?" asked Aaron, looking at the whole scene in awe.

"TV and some books I found under Mum's bed"

Aaron felt sweat going down his neck. "What books…?"

"Like…" Theo's jaw clicked shut and she frowned at the nothingness.

"Are you okay, honey?" asked Aaron, putting a comforting hand on the girl's back.

"I need to go" she said, staring him straight to the eye.

"Oh" Aaron breathed out a sigh of relief. "Theodosia!" he called, receiving a sideways glare from his wife. "I'm gonna take Theo to the restroom"

"Alright. Be safe, honey" said the woman, smiling at the little girl.

Finding the public restroom was easy. Aaron waited outside the little building, anxiety growing in his chest until he saw the girl getting out, shaking her wet hands.

"Feeling better?" he asked, taking her hand.

The girl nodded. "Now, I can drink another huge soda" she said, smiling brightly.

"… Haven't you learned anything?" asked Aaron, sighing in defeat.

"I'm little, I don't have to learn that fast" replied Theo, waggling her eyebrows.

"Hm, I think you're too smart" commented her father, laughing a bit.

"Better for me" shrugged the girl.

"Absolutely"

They made their way to where Theodosia and Augustine were now taking something out of the basket. The woman smiled at the both of them.

"Just in time. We were about to eat the pie" she explained.

Theo let go of her father's hand in an instant. "Yay, pie!"

"Did you wash your hands?" asked the mother.

"Yep"

"Good, take your part then!" congratulated Theodosia, putting a cut piece on a plastic dish. "Aaron, which part do you like the most?" she asked.

Aaron was about to choose when he noted the fixated glare of Augustine. A bad feeling went down his spine.

"… Who… Who did this?" he asked, pointing at the pie.

"Me" replied Theodosia, with a cocked eyebrow. "You were there while I baked it"

Aaron sighed, relieved. "True, true. I'll have this one"

"On it"

They ate in comfortable silence, just enjoying the quietness of that hour of the day. Most families had returned to their homes, the old and young couple parted to keep going on with other plans they had for the day and the ones footing had left when afternoon rolled by.

Theo's whine returned Aaron back to his own family. He saw the little girl's dress stained in the part of the chest by a piece of pie that had fallen from the fork. The little girl frowned and contained a sob as Theodosia put her plate aside and commented about how she had to learn how to be more careful.

"No one's gonna take the food away from you!" scolded the woman. "Aaron, please, take something to clean this"

"Yes"

"Here" said Augustine, taking something out of the basket and passing it to the man.

"Thanks, honey" said Theodosia, with a smile. "Now, stay still…" she instructed, fighting for cleaning the dress properly. "What the hell is wrong with these napkins?!" she complained.

"Calm down, it's skill" advised Aaron, calmly.

Theodosia tossed the napkins in his direction. "Throw these away already"

"Here, there's more" said Augustine, with a frown of worry.

"This fucking stain is gonna get cleaned as my name is Theodosia" muttered the woman.

"Don't swear in front of…" tried to admonish Aaron.

"GO THROW THAT AWAY!" she screamed.

"Stop making a show out of a family day!" complained Aaron, getting up and striding to the nearest bin.

He muttered a few curses about Theodosia's impatience and raised his fist, more than willing to throw those napkins with a lot more of force than necessary. He stopped when he felt the touch of the napkins he was holding, less soft than one'd expect. With a bad sensation, he lowered his hand and uncrumpled one of the napkins… Or well, the sheet.

Aaron felt a tic in his right eye when he saw that was the paperwork he'd done last night. The paperwork he had to do twice because the first one flew out of the window. The window Augustine had left opened.

… … …

Aaron inhaled slowly. "Alright, it's okay" he whispered to himself. "I… I've got the e-mail Eliza sent me, I'll just have to do it again… Surely the third time would go faster. It-It's totally fine… There's no need for a confront…"

"AARON" Theodosia hollered from behind. "AREN'T YOU DONE YET?! COME THE FUCK BACK, YOU USELESS, AND DO SOMETHING TO HELP!"

… … … … … … … … …

"Fuck it"

Theo turned her glare away from the flustered face of her mother, and her eyes grew wide when she saw her father sprinting up towards them, a glance of pure wrath in their direction.

"Uh… Mum?" she tried to say.

"What" spat the woman, frustrated at the stain growing bigger.

Theo never had the chance to speak, her father appeared in front of them. And now that he was so close, the girl swallowed afraid at how enraged her father looked. She'd never seen him like that.

"About time" said Theodosia, too focus on her problem to direct a glare to her husband. "Come on, help me…"

"Augustine" said Aaron, not minding his wife at all. "Where did you get these?" he asked, showing the papers he was holding.

"Oh, that, I thought it was old" replied the teenager, shrugging. "As they were scattered all over your desk…"

"My desk in my workroom where you're not allowed to put a foot in" interrupted Aaron, sharply.

Theodosia frowned. "Aaron"

"DON'T" Aaron threw daggers in his wife's direction. The three witnesses stiffed in their spots when they saw Aaron shaking uncontrollably and with a beating vein in his neck. "THIS IS IT!" he declared, throwing the crumpled papers to the side. "I'M NOT GONNA TO FUCKING PUT UP WITH MORE BULLSHIT FROM YOU, AUGUSTIIIIINE!"

People around the park turned their heads to where the commotion was coming from. Theodosia looked at them, panic in her eyes, while her daughter hugged her arm, terrified.

"Em… Aaron…" she tried again, now calmer and gentler.

"SHUT UP!" commanded Aaron, starting to be red in the face. "HE'S BEEN ASKING FOR THIS SINCE BEFORE HE GOT OUT THAT FUCKING PLANE!"

He looked enraged at the teenager, who flinched, paling at the sight in front of him.

"COME HERE, AUGUSTINE, COME HERE!"

"Daddy…" begged Theo, with tiny voice.

Her father didn't even hear her. "COME HERE SO I CAN FUCKING SLAP THE HELL OUT OF YOU!"

"Aaron, please, that's not…" tried to argue Theodosia, unable to move from spot.

"NO! THAT'S WHAT'S BEEN GOING WRONG IN THIS RELATIONSHIP: THE LACK OF BEATING. IF I HAD DARED TO DO HALF OF THE HALF OF WHAT THIS ASSHOLE HAVE DONE TO ME, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY FOR A FUCKING MONTH!"

"But…"

"COME HERE, AUGUSTINE, I WON'T REPEAT MYSELF!"

Augustine began to sob. "N-No, please, I'm sorry" he assured.

"SORRY DOESN'T CHANGE IT! COME HERE!"

Augustine looked beggingly to his mother, who only could keep looking at Aaron, hugging her daughter, at the corner of the tablecloth. Augustine had his attention back on his stepfather when this grabbed him the wrist to pull him closer to him.

"Come here, you had it coming, you fucking trouble-maker!" ordered Aaron, struggling with the boy, who had his feet glued to the floor, refusing to be an inch closer.

"No, no!" he refused.

"I fucking let you come inside my house, I stand your bullshit, I try to be nice and the only fucking thing I receive are kicks in the butt!" reprimanded Aaron. "If you don't want to know me on good terms, you're gonna know me on…"

And just like that, something flashed in Aaron's eyes. He looked around, seeing his wife and daughter hugged to each other, a terrified expression on their faces, and Augustine, frowning in regret and a bit of fear. The three exchanged a glare when Aaron froze in spot.

"Aaron?" said Theodosia, with tiny voice.

Aaron's eyes became watery. He let a chocked sob escape his lips and let go off Augustine's wrist, turning on his heels and running back to the car, sobbing uncontrollably. The people he came across got out of his way, just in case. The rest of the family looked at him, perplexed. Theo shook her head, frowning.

"This family can't go anywhere…" she lamented.

Two months and a half.

They hadn't spent so much time without talking to one another since never in their relationship.

So, when Laurens saw the ID showing Alexander's name, he thought he was going to reach the moon from jumping from happiness.

They agreed on meeting at some café, quiet and relaxing. It didn't help Laurens to calm his nerves. His knee bounced anxiously as he waited for his ex-boyfriend (he had stopped hoping from the opposite after so many ignorance from Alexander's part) came through the door and took a seat across him.

They exchanged a few polite words, and it made Laurens want to cry from impotence. How could he have mess up so badly? Especially with his best friend. Maybe because of that people say you are not supposed to date them, it damaged the closeness and trust and everything you could've shared with that person. Laurens wasn't one to regret past actions, but right now, with a quiet and serious Alexander in front of him, he wished to be able to go back in time and not have started their relationship.

And what made his blood to boil more was when he remembered all those comments from past friends or family members (the few who still talked to him despite his sexual orientation, respecting him though not understanding it completely) was when he had to stand comments about how Alexander didn't deserve him for being 'heartless', 'cold' and too 'superficial'. If only they knew how much Alex had sacrificed his happiness for him, concealing their relationship during college; ignoring taunts about if 'he was learning how to behave like a normal and decent man' for his lack of interest on other people's approaches; standing Martha's hateful glares and the rumours she would help Monroe spread across campus; standing up for Laurens when his father tried to confront him about being 'unnatural' and a 'sinner'; all the emotional support Alex was for him when his father refused to talk to him and disinherited him.

And how did Laurens thank his boyfriend from all that? By cheating on him. Good one, John. God, he'd never forgive me…

"Are you alright?" asked Alexander, all of a sudden.

"Huh?"

"You barely touched your food" he pointed out.

Laurens looked down, seeing his salad the same way the waitress had brought it. He shrugged. Alexander sighed and put his fork down.

"Jackie"

The nickname made something inside Laurens to turn. Alexander hadn't called him that since he'd found him in bed with another man.

"Listen, I'm sorry" said Alexander.

Laurens blinked, dumbfounded. "Beg your pardon?"

"Not for my reaction or anything of the sorts" explained Alexander, serious. "But for not hearing you out in all this time. I… Betsey helped me to calm down and see reason"

"Betsey?" repeated Laurens, still not believing they were having this conversation.

Alex nodded. "I'm staying with her for a bit" he explained, a bit ashamed. Alexander hated to live off of others. "Since… Since Angelica left with her husband, they had that room vacant and when Betsey knew about what happened…"

"I should've been the one leaving" interrupted Laurens, biting his bottom lip anxiously.

Alex shrugged. "That's not important. What's important is that… Though I'd never be able to go back into a relationship with you, I would hate to lose your friendship"

"I would hate it too" he confessed. "These two last months have been hell"

"Sorry. You know how stubborn and hot-headed I can be"

"No, I'm the one who's sorry, what I did… I still say someone dropped something in my drink…" he muttered.

Alexander half-closed his eyes. "In which one of the 21 you drank?"

"Look, I…" Laurens sighed. "I have no excuse. In fact, I'm surprised you still want to be my friend"

Alexander looked at him for a moment before shrugging. "Maybe we weren't meant to be a couple. We're too hot-headed and similar. But we never failed as friends, why turn the back to something that has not been broken?"

Laurens looked back at his still friend. He clenched his fists and pressed his lips. The words should've comforted him, left him at peace. He hadn't lost Alexander, he should be happy, right? Laurens locked eyes with his ex-boyfriend and almost shivered at how cold his glare was, he almost flinched at how sharp Alexander's words had been. Laurens had been feeling something was wrong with Alex since he started practising… What the hell, since a few years before that, when he had to defend himself from any enemy that tried to bring him and his merits down. Laurens had sensed Alexander didn't only work as if he were a machine, but had started to act as one as well. Lacking of emotion or feelings when he talked or acted. More than once, Laurens had asked him how he was thinking he would be able to work as a lawyer with that attitude. The answer left him worse than his ignorance:

"They're clients. They need legal help and advice, an objective vision. If they want pampering, they're free to go to a therapist once I'm done with them"

Laurens thought maybe after their relationship was as opened as it could be, his partner would calm down and show his true nature, the one Laurens had fallen in love with, the one who fought for the rights of people because someone needed to do something, because there were people, human beings, suffering injustices and needed help.

All the contrary. The more Alexander practised, the more his heart turned into stone. It was worrisome, but Laurens comforted himself thinking maybe it was a façade Alexander's work required. He still made jokes and helped his friends when they needed it, and comforted them as well as he could.

But now… Now Alexander was there, discussing their break-up, telling him he still wanted to be friends as if he were in a reunion, discussing what things belonged to whom, or who deserved the custody of the children, or who was in the right and who in the wrong. He was cold, concise, objective and trying to reach a fair agreement as if their relationship was purely formal and professional.

It made John sick to the stomach. But a part of his brain, the rational part, told him Alexander's was just hurt, that he still needed time, that this was his way to cope with emotions…

He could only hope to be right.

"Jackie?" Alexander called, taking him out of his worried thoughts.

"Yes?"

"I asked you if you'd like to come with us?"

"Us? Where?" he asked, totally lost.

"Herc, Laf and the Schuyler sisters. We were going to watch a movie tonight at the Schuyler's. The parents are going out" Alex explained.

"Ah… Yes, of course, I'd love that" he nodded, with a tiny smile on his lips.

"Good"

And Laurens tried to ignore the business smile Alex threw in his way.

Eliza was a good girl, Laurens decided, if Alexander was going to trust his heart to somebody else, it better be Elizabeth Schuyler. The girl was an angel, always acting with good intention and with a strength not even she realised to have. Laurens let her know once they were left alone in the kitchen, preparing the popcorn and other snacks for the movie session.

"I'd give a speech about 'don't hurt Alex', but from me it'd be very hypocrite" began to say Laurens, as he watched the bag of popcorn going in circles inside the microwave.

"Excuse me?" asked the girl, looking over her shoulder.

"I see how he looks at you" said Laurens, in lieu of a proper answer.

Eliza's face grew red. "N-No, John, it-it's not what you…" she tried to excuse, turning completely to face him.

Laurens smiled at her. "It's alright, Betsey, I'm not saying you took the opportunity in your advantage, you don't have that malice within"

"I just… I… Alex and I are just friends!" replied the girl, playing nervously with her loose hair.

"Just like Alex and I before that kiss. That you very rudely interrupted, by the way" he joked.

"John…" tried to say Eliza, clear guilt in her face. "I… I wanted you two to be happy, I didn't…"

"Betsey, I know!" Laurens interrupted her. "Here, if it makes you feel better, I give you my blessing"

"But-But we're not…!" she denied, her cheeks red.

"Just one thing?" interrupted Laurens, not trying to persuade her any longer. "Just… When Alex and I talked earlier today…" He sighed, not finding the right words.

"Jackie?" said Eliza, concerned. She walked to him and put a gentle hand on his arm. "Jackie, what's wrong? I thought you were fine again"

"We are. Jesus, we're better than I ever thought we'd ever be again!" he commented, the happiness and relief clear in his voice.

"Then, what's the matter?"

John looked her right in the eyes. So much gentleness, so much positivism, light and will to live, so much love for life… Laurens sighed once again. He could only hope Eliza could give Alex back some of that, showed him those traits made you stronger and not weaker as the world had taught him. He could only hope this wouldn't end the other way around. Eliza didn't deserve that. Alex didn't deserve that.

"Just take care of him, alright?" he whispered.

"John, what's going on?" Eliza demanded to know, tightening the grip on his arm. "Did something happen to Alexander?"

"Not yet" he replied, uncomfortably. "And if we don't give up on him, maybe nothing bad would ever happen to him"

"I'll never let him fall" promised Eliza, solemnly, all the previous nervousness gone.

The microwave startled the two friends with its loud 'beep'. Eliza let go of his arm and went to take the popcorn out and serve it into a bowl.

"You're a good friend, Jackie" Eliza complimented, as he prepared to make his way out of the kitchen. She turned around to smile at him. "I'm glad you come to amends. Maybe Alex is not good at showing his emotions, but have no doubt that he'd be left heartbroken if he lost you"

Laurens smiled softly at her. "Thanks, Betsey. There's no one as trusting or as kind as you"

"Alexander…"

"I have to leave"

"Alexander!"

"Woman, can't you see all the work I've got to do?"

Eliza couldn't take it anymore. She didn't even remember their two children, who were only three and one. She could feel the tears burning in the corner of her eyes, her eyes hurt for so many contained tears. Tears of impotence, of helplessness. She… She just couldn't take it anymore.

She slammed the table with all her might, the table where those stupid documents, files and essays lay. She hated their existence so much. She locked eyes with her husband, who was fast to straighten himself and face her and all her ire.

"Look around you!" she shouted, exhaustedly. "Why is it never enough?! What will be enough for you?!"

She was sick of this. She was sick of raising the children all by her own, she was sick of going back to a cold and half empty bed. She was sick of so many sleepless nights waiting for her husband to come back home and sleep beside her. Just one hour. Half an hour. Was that a lot to ask for? To your husband? The father of your children?

Eliza shook in her spot. She didn't know what to do. This was not the Alexander she had fallen in love with, this was not the Alexander who would act to help people for the sake of it, because it was the right thing to do. They're clients, they're source of money, they can't be anything more. Was it all true? Did he really think that? Eliza had talked it out with Laurens too many times to count. One of the times, the man had hugged her, sharing her pain, and that conversation back at her parents' kitchen came back in a flash.

Eliza promised to never let Alexander fall. But she hadn't counted on him letting her fall, letting her crash. Did he even care for her? For their children? All those family moments delayed, all those romantic dinners fallen into oblivion, all those promises of him thinking about taking a break, of him dedicating her a bit of his time, of sharing with her a fraction of his mind… Maybe she was being selfish, maybe she was asking for too much… Maybe they weren't meant for each other.

Maybe she didn't know who she had married.

She had started sobbing without noticing. It was too much, everything was starting to be too much. She had dedicated her whole life to him, to his career, to his obsession to be someone in the future… She had forgotten about her life, about her own story just to help another man tell his. And that man, her husband, wasn't thanking her, was forgetting her as the rest of the world would, as Alexander feared it'd happen to him but didn't care if another person had to suffer.

"I…" she heard Alexander say, with foreign unsureness.

She looked up at him, her vision blurred from tears. "Alexander…" she whispered. "Please, just…" She breathed in a sob and wiped the rivers of angst from her face. "Alexander, I won't pretend to know all the challenges you've faced… That you're still facing, but… Please, just talk to me, let me inside your heart. Let me be part of your life, I'm your wife"

"Betsey"

"And I thought I was your friend as well" she muttered, saddened, as she lowered the glare again.

There was a pregnant silence, only broke by Eliza's uncontrollable sobs. This was not an act, she was not pretending to emotional blackmail Alexander. She was just tired and lost, she didn't know what to do anymore. She needed help. She needed to know what to do to make this better, to repair this marriage, this couple, this family, this friendship.

"I've got so much work to do" she heard Alexander say, coldly.

And then, his footsteps. And then, the door slamming shut. Eliza buried her face in her hands, letting all her frustrations out. God, what can I do? she wondered, she prayed. I thought that I could be enough, she thought, brokenly. Maybe she would never be enough. Maybe Alexander needed someone else by his side that didn't slow him down, that didn't make him choose between his legacy and family. Someone less selfish, someone that wouldn't start crying to get his attention. But she couldn't stop the tears, it just hurt too much…

"Mama?" a childish voice asked. She felt someone tapping her thigh. Eliza looked down, seeing a worried Philip looking up at her. "Why do you cry, mama, are you sad?"

"Mama's alright, honey" she replied, the shake of her voice giving away her lie. "It was just a misunderstanding between Daddy and Mummy, nothing's wrong"

Philip raised his arms, and Eliza understood him immediately, taking him into her arms. Son and mother hugged each other.

"It's alright, mama, have a hug"

Eliza laughed, feeling a bit better.

She had to fight. She had to keep trying, she had to keep her courage up. She refused to let everything go down the drain. This could get better.

Maybe she was overreacting, maybe nothing was wrong with Alexander, maybe he was just that way, maybe he hadn't learnt how not to be cold because of his troubled childhood.

Eliza was resolute to be there. Whatever fights Alexander would have to face, she'd face them with him.

It couldn't get that bad, right?

Nobody talked in the way back home. Aaron went directly to his workroom and locked up there, re-doing his job for the third time. Funny enough, it wasn't as hard or annoying as one'd think. Theo knocked on his door to inform him dinner was ready and he nodded numbly, unable to look his daughter in the eye.

He made his way to the kitchen, where he found his wife and daughter already sat, chatting as if nothing had happened. Aaron frowned at the empty chair.

"Where's Augustine?"

Theodosia became serious all of a sudden. "We talked, he admitted all he did to you and I grounded him"

"But…"

"Aaron, why didn't you tell me?" she asked, looking directly at him.

"He didn't want to hurt you" responded Theo, in her father's behalf.

Theodosia frowned. "That's not excuse! Aaron, this is a family, we need to talk things, I told you!"

Aaron nodded, though not speaking. What could he say when he almost made the worst mistake in his life? He was about to take a seat when his wife's words stuck a chord in him, a bitter taste filling his mouth. Without thinking, he went to fetch another dish that he filled with a ration of food and exited the room.

"Where are you going?" asked Theodosia, blinking disconcerted.

"I'm gonna have a chat with your son"

"Aaron…"

"You're right" admitted Aaron, making her to remain sat. "Let me handle this, please"

Theodosia considered it for a moment. "Alright, but if something happens, tell me"

"Will do" he promised.

Aaron went to Augustine's room, knocking on the door. There was a bit of silence, and for a moment he thought if the best option was to tell the teenager it was him the one who wanted to get in his room, after the scene at the park. He was about to talk when the door opened timidly. Stepson and father looked at each other. Aaron showed the teenager the dish.

"I brought you dinner" he said, not knowing what else could be the best first thing to say.

Augustine shook his head. "Mum told me…"

"I know" interrupted Aaron. "I… I talked it out with her. Can I come in?"

Augustine thought for a moment, and then made way for him.

"Thank you" said Aaron, smiling.

He frowned slightly when he saw the room was barely changed. Augustine's suitcase kept being at the feet of the bed, totally full of clothes and personal belongings. Aaron decided to let the dish on the kid's desk.

"Haven't made up your mind about decorations?" he commented.

"Didn't think I'd stay for long" admitted Augustine.

Aaron heaved a sigh. "Look, Augustine…"

"I'm sorry for what happened" interrupted the teenager, looking genuinely sorry. "You're still not my favourite person to be around, but… I admit that what I did was wrong"

"You're angry" Aaron stated it more than he asked it, but received a nod, nonetheless. He threw another sigh to the air. "Can I sit down?" he asked, pointing at the bed.

"Your house" shrugged Augustine.

"Your room" countered Aaron.

The teenager threw him a glare, then sat down and made a vague gesture with the hand so the adult imitated him. Aaron dropped beside his stepson.

"I'm sorry as well" admitted Aaron, after thinking and re-thinking what he wanted to say.

"Don't need to be"

"Yes, I…" he sighed again. Really, it seemed to be the only thing he knew to do right then. "My uncle wasn't the best guardian" he admitted, deciding to be sincere. "Neither of his ways of educating and rising a child are good examples to follow, and I'm sorry I almost made the mistake to do so"

"Well, I surely was asking for it" Augustine laughed half-heartedly.

"No, there's never a good reason to raise your hand to a child. Don't forget that" he advised.

"Alright…"

"Look, I know you hate me" Aaron blurted out, before he changed his mind and the words would go down his throat to never be spoken. "I know you don't want to be here with me, I know because I felt the same way when I had to go live with my uncle" he admitted. "And you despise that your mother now is married to me, but, for her, we have to try and be civil" he explained, carefully. "I won't ask you for calling me 'Dad' or to even respect me as such. Your mother's Theodosia and your father's Jacques. I don't have to be anyone to you if you don't want to, and I'll respect it"

Augustine's eyes widened at the speech, not believing what he was hearing. He lowered his head. If he wasn't feeling guilty before, now he surely felt like the worst.

"I don't hate you" he admitted, in a whisper, barely throwing the adult a glare.

Aaron was taken aback by that. "Oh… Well, now you made me look bad, because I really hated my uncle"

And both laughed at that remark. Aaron smiled, feeling a weight being lifted from his chest.

"I'll leave you to eat in peace" he said, getting up from the bed.

"Aaron" called Augustine, when he was about to open the door.

"Yes?"

"Thank you" said the boy, with an honest smile.

"Whatever you need"

He exited the room and closed the door quietly at his backs. His wife, waiting at the other side, enveloped him in a hug and kissed him repeatedly.

"Were you listening to a personal conversation?" he asked, faking annoyance.

"Until he's 21, I can" declared Theodosia.

The door opened suddenly, startling the hugging couple. Augustine stuck his head out.

"Om… Aaron?"

"Yes?"

"Em… Uh… Don't use your toothbrush" he advised, before closing the door quickly.

"… Wait, since when I'm not supposed to use it?" he asked his wife, terrified.

"Darned if I know"

George made sure he bought all groceries in record time. He didn't trust Alexander or Thomas to be under the same roof for more than one hour alone after what happened. He hurried through the aisles, barely paying any attention to his mother who, for once, was letting him live.

Or so it seemed until he announced they were leaving.

"Mum, come on, we need to… What are you doing?"

Mary stopped mid-action, a bag of chips halfway to the interior of her purse.

"I refuse to pay almost ten bucks for two sad bags of chips" she said, pushing the bag down and zipping her purse.

"Ten? Did you take two bags?"

"Of course, if you're going to steal, steal properly" she lectured.

"Mum, you can't…" tried to reprehend Washington, feeling his heartrate increasing.

"Ma'am" a man called, arms crossed, dressed formally and with a name tag in his white shirt.

Shit, cursed Washington inside his brain.

"What're you doing?" asked the man, frowning.

"That's what I say. What're you doing bothering us when we haven't called you" spat Mary, with confidence.

The manager narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Ma'am, we saw you" he simply stated, making Washington dizzy.

"Saw what?" challenged Mary.

"Saw you taking two bags of chips and seven chocolate bars"

"Seven bars as well, Mum?" whispered Washington, feeling about to throw up.

"No, no, I have not" denied the old lady, shaking her head.

"Ma'am, we recorded it" said the man, pointing at the camera that was in one corner, watching their interaction.

"For Christ's sake" complained Washington, under his breath. "We're sorry, sir, we'll pay now when we…" he tried to fix the problem peacefully.

"No! I haven't done it!" argued the lady.

"Mum, stop it!" begged Washington.

"Ma'am, and how do you explain this?" asked the man, pointing at the empty box of chocolate bars.

"That's what I say. Why do you have that empty there? Don't you have personnel to keep things correctly?"

"Ma'am, don't try to make pass for a fool, alright?" warned the man.

"No, no, we…" began to apologise George.

"I'm not a thief!" exclaimed Mary. "How dare you?!"

One of the girls working there came closer to the scene. "Ma'am, you've been stealing from us the whole week!" she complained, irritated. "We're sick of this game!"

"No, that's not true!"

"Ma'am, we've got it all recorded" the man reminded her again.

"Just pay the items and we'll let you go" added the girl, conciliatory.

"I don't have nothing to pay. I've not taken anything" she assured, stubbornly.

The manager gritted his teeth. "Ma'am, will I have to call the police?"

"No, no…" said George, panicking.

"Yeah, call them, call them" encouraged Mary, with a mocking smile. "Call them if you're so brave"

"I'm gonna call" said the manager, as shocked as the girl at his backs.

"Do it, do it" nodded Mary, laughing cruelly at the end. "Come on, you've got nothing"

"… Jess, call the police"

"Alright"

"No, but wait!" said George, paling.

"What?!" interrupted Mary, enraged. "Are you really going to call the police for… What? Ten bucks?"

"Weren't you complaining about not wanting to pay ten bucks before…?" growled George, indignant.

"Ma'am, ten plus ten plus ten from all the other days you came here to take things for free!" complained the girl, at the counter, waiting on the phone.

"Jesus, Mum, in what were you thinking?!" admonished George, infuriated.

"They're lying!" said Mary, pointing accusatory at the two workers, who frowned in her direction. "They hate me and I don't know why!"

"Well, I've got a few theories" said George, rolling his eyes.

Mary turned to face the manager then, with teary eyes. "My own son doesn't love me. See how sad my life is?"

"In which side you're on, ma'am?!" questioned the manager, in shock.

"The Police are coming" informed the girl, Jess, as she made her way to them.

George saw the people around them whispering and throwing glares. He sighed and passed a hand through his face. Yes, this surely was my worst idea ever. Not even me founding that law firm was as bad…

The Police ended up coming in a matter of five minutes. George had to bury his face in his hands when he heard Jess explaining how she had witnessed the lady stealing several items from the store since she arrived last week to spend time on the cabin. A few clients stayed close by, though they already had their carts full. The line was frozen as everybody decided that watching the scene was more entertaining than living their own lives.

"Ma'am, could you please open your purse?" the officer asked, politely.

"The zip is broken" lied Mary, easily.

"Ma'am, we saw you opening a few minutes ago!" complained Jess, face red.

"There, calm down" instructed the officer, maintaining his cool. "Ma'am, please, don't make this more difficult. Pay whatever you've taken and…"

"I haven't taken anything" assured Mary one more time.

"Ma'am, I saw the videos" said the officer, boringly, pointing at the laptop on one of the counters.

"That's not me"

"Ma'am…"

"No"

"Ma'am"

"No, no, it can't be me"

"Look" said Jess, passing the officer by and tossing the screen in the lady direction.

Mary looked at the video with boredom. "Ah, but I was just reading the expiry date"

A few people laughed and George felt his face burning from embarrassment. The officer stood there, in shock and speechless. He turned to the manager, seeing the whole thing with arms crossed and a serious expression.

"Do you want to file a report, sir?" he asked.

The manager looked surprised for a moment. "No, no. I just want her to apologise"

… … … …

Mary broke the shocked silence, kicking the floor with rage.

"I WILL NEVER APOLOGISE FOR SOMETHING I HAVE NOT DONE!" she declared, fist raised.

"Ma'am, we've got evidence against you!" threatened Jess, matching the oldest's ire.

"If this pushover doesn't have balls to sue me, then I'll sue y'all!"

"MUM!" said George, fear clear in his eyes.

"That's enough, ma'am, I'm the one who's gonna report you for shameless!" declared the officer, losing the patience.

"No, sir, please…" said George, swallowing with terror.

"Excuse me?!" Mary turned to the manager, looking the fight, unmoved. "You! Let me borrow your phone for a moment!"

"Eing?" said the manager, lost.

The officer exploded again. "But, ma'am, don't have such a nerve! Apart from stealing from him you're gonna take his phone as well?!"

Mary rolled her eyes and looked at the girl. "Then, you, let me borrow your phone!"

Jess took a few steps backwards. "Yeah, for not seeing it ever again" she said, a bit afraid at the thought.

"Then, you!" she pointed at her son, having the worst time of his life. "Take your phone and call your employees!"

"Why?" asked George, perplexed.

"Because I need a lawyer, can't you see?!"

"Mum, don't get my employees into your problems!"

"They're invading my cabin…!"

"My cabin!"

"They must give something in exchange!"

"Alexander doesn't practise and Jefferson isn't even a lawyer!"

"You just had to come here with useless pieces of shit!"

The officer interrupted their quarrel, raising his voice a lot more. "Enough with these herding cats! Give these people what you've taken from them and…!"

"I haven't taken anything from them!" lied Mary.

"A shit you have not!" screamed Jess.

"Alright, alright" said the manager, conciliatory. "Let's talk…"

"No! I've got the right to have a lawyer and a call!"

"YOU WATCH WAY TOO MANY TV, MA'AM!" exploded Jess.

"Ma'am, give me your ID card" ordered the officer, stretching one hand out and frowning in her direction.

"No, I'm gonna get out for a bit. I don't feel well" said Mary, putting a hand on the forehead to emphasize her point.

"Ma'am, you can't leave"

"You can't stop me, less for ten bucks" argued Mary.

"I can if you refuse to identify yourself" explained the officer, trying to stay calm.

"I need to leave"

"Ma'am…"

"My husband's dead"

"… Ma'am, don't mix things up! What does that have to do with this?!" asked the officer, not believing what he was living.

"If he's seeing me up from Hell, he'd be saddened!" explained Mary.

"Mum, Dad's been dead for forty years, don't bring him into this!" complained George, offended.

"Did she just say 'Hell'…?" commented Jess, starting to feel afraid.

Mary nodded in her direction. "Yes, for cheater"

"Like you can blame him" muttered George.

The officer shook his head, as if waking up from a trance. "Ma'am, I'm sorry for your loss, but you can't leave"

"No one can hold me!" shouted Mary.

"Ma'am, I'm the authority"

"A jackass is what you are"

… … … … … … … … …

"WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH! ARE YOU TRYING TO LAUGH AT ME?! BOTH OF YOU GET IN THE PATROL CAR!" exploded the officer, red in the face.

"Both?!" repeated George. "But I did nothing!"

The officer didn't have time to retort as Mary began to hit him with the purse.

"Mum, don't make it worse!" said George, hurrying to hold her back.

"Listen! Listen to the bags she had inside the purse!" condemned Jess, triumphally.

George heard people around laughing, unable to contain themselves anymore. With his peripheral, he saw some where pointing at them with their phones.

Well, now we've got viral vids as an evidence… he complained, inside his brain.

Maria Reynolds came into the Hamilton's life as a hurricane, unexpected and at full force.

Eliza had seen her at the park on a few occasions, for what she'd told him, and one day she'd decided she wasn't going to ignore her bruises and evasive demeanour any longer.

"I'd rather be overreacting than turn my back on someone that might need help" his wife had said to him.

So, after a lot of convincing and persuasion, Maria came to the conclusion that she didn't have to live like that, that her daughter could have a better future. She went to the law firm he worked at and required the help of two lawyers. Alexander sighed when he saw Burr was going to be accompanying him. The guy was not of Alexander's likings. Too quiet, too secretive, too resistant to take sides, to act and speak his mind. That didn't make him a bad lawyer, for what Alexander knew (and lived on an everyday basis, with that habit the man was starting to have about declaring a court-war to him; not that he wasn't going to win it). So, he could cope until the case was over. Which would happen very quickly.

Mrs. Reynolds was married to a scumbag. He could win the award of worst husband, father and man without changing anything from his daily actions. And he'd also win a Guinness with that intake of alcohol. And the fact that Maria had a bit of slyness helped a lot. She had hidden a camera behind the mirror of her shared bedroom the last few weeks. Angelica and the afternoon she spent explaining how she should do it were to blame for that important detail.

The videos helped the police to arrest Mr Reynolds, who, for a change, came home drunk. The officers had proof enough to take him out of the house in handcuffs. Maria called Aaron that night, for what he was told, a crying mess, trembling with nervousness for what was going to happen from now on. Aaron allowed her to speak with Susan, who was staying with him for that day. A thing both Aaron and Alexander agreed on was that the girl didn't need to see more of that horrific situation her parents were involved into.

"So, that's it, right?" asked Eliza, at the doorframe of his workroom, while he re-read the case for the zillionth time that night.

"That's it what?" he asked, not raising his glare.

"Maria's case" she clarified, frowning slightly. "Her husband… That guy is in prison already, right? Happy ending?"

Alexander shook his head. "She has to go to court, declare, explain, answer some questions…"

"But the videos…"

"Justice is not that easy, Eliza"

Eliza flinched and embraced herself at the tone of Alexander's voice. She was starting to get sick of that condescendence her husband had started to talk to her with as well. She was fed up with Alexander talking to her as if she were stupid. As if the whole world was stupid in comparison to him.

"Are you going to see her tomorrow?" she asked, sharpening a bit her tone too.

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking about going with you"

This time, Alexander did raise his glare. "Why?"

Eliza narrowed her eyes. "I was thinking she might need support"

"She has two attorneys, what more support could she possibly need?"

"Human support" replied Eliza right away. "Emotional support. You know what that is?"

Alexander sighed and returned his glare to his papers. "That's not something…"

"I know" interrupted Eliza, straightened herself in her spot. "You are a lawyer, so is Burr; you only give her legal support and help. If she wants another kind of help, she can look for a therapist" she mocked a bit his tone of voice, and for the daggers that were thrown her way, Eliza knew she succeeded in doing so. "Well, in case you've forgotten, I am a therapist. So, let me do my vocation"

"Never said you could not" muttered Alexander, shrugging.

"Good"

Eliza scrutinized her husband. Something was not right. And she wasn't only talking about all the bad signs she'd been seeing for some time. Alexander's coldness and apathy were, to her regret, old friends of her husband by now. But there was something wrong in Alexander's distracted behaviour, in his lack of speeches about the case she'd hear him speak in the solitude of his workroom, in his avoiding glares, in his tense shoulders, in his shallow breathing while he read the case, in his obsession (more than usual) about reading and re-reading the same pages for days, in the stoic expression he had wore the day he and Aaron had to watch the videos Maria had as an evidence before taking them to the police station.

Her serious expression softened. "Alexander, are you alright?"

He didn't respond. For a moment, Eliza thought he hadn't heard her, so, she tried again.

"Alex…"

"Please, close the door on your way out" he interrupted, not meeting her glare. "I still have so much work to do"

Eliza went rigid at the dismissive attitude towards her, at the same words thrown at her which she despised with all her soul.

'He'd never be satisfied', John had told her on numerous occasions; 'Be careful with that one, love; he will do what it takes to survive' Angelica had warned her while she was getting ready for their first date.

Eliza pressed and curved her lips. Grabbing the knob, she wished him goodnight and closed the door quietly.

Alexander didn't want to acknowledge what was happening to him. He tried to keep going on with his life and, especially, work. A bit of exhaustion, an aching body, a heavy chest would never be enough to make him stop. He'd had it rougher and he'd never stopped. Why doing it now?

The Reynolds case was easy. They were going to win. Today's trial would be a piece of cake. Eliza was able to calm a worried Maria; Aaron explained their idea calmly. Alexander, strangely, stood to the side, hearing without listening and seeing without looking. His head was spinning, and the living room the four of them were in was starting to warp. He lowered his glare, his eyes landing on the paperwork he had re-written countless times already. He took the paper, relieved to feel something physical under the fingertips. Work always helped him, kept him in guard, kept him fighting. Work would always be there for him.

He blinked a couple of times, the words blurred and difficult to distinguish. Pull was the first word that came into clear view. In the shown videos, we clearly see Mrs Reynolds being pulled by the hair by her husband, Mr James Reynolds—

What did I just say?!.

Alexander shook his head, furrowed his brows. He cleared his throat and swallowed the sudden lump that blocked his larynx. What was wrong with him lately?

Keep working, he told himself, and resumed his reading. 'Mrs Reynolds is slapped—

Don't interrupt your mother, scum!

Alexander took in a shaky breath. Keep going, his brain commanded, refusing to take a break. Mrs Reynolds fell, then to the floor, receiving a couple of kicks from—

We gave you a home and this is how you thank us?!

Was the room becoming smaller or was that just him? Alexander got the neck of his shirt separated from his skin, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. He cursed at the words moving uncontrollably. He denied to admit he was the one making them move by shaking so much.

You've fooled everyone in here into thinking you're worth something

This kid is impossible to live with!

I hope they can teach you manners this time

If it weren't for us, you'd be dying in the streets. Be more grateful

Have you heard? Hamilton was abandoned by his father. His mother was… Well, a bit loose

He takes after her. Have you seen? Women always around him.

And men as well! I knew there was a reason why he's gone this far though being this young!

"Alexander?" a gentle voice called his name.

He finally came back to the present time, the voices in his head still intertwining with each other. Through a blurry vision, he could see the frown of worry of his wife.

"Alexander?" Eliza said again, more urgently.

"Are you feeling alright, Alexander?" asked Maria, also concerned.

"Hamilton?" joined Aaron, cocking an eyebrow before the unusual lack of response.

"I…" he said, with tiny voice.

He's nothing without Mrs Knox behind him

Alex cleared his throat.

You're a bastard and a whoreson. You can't escape it

"The bathroom, please?" he asked, politely.

Maria blinked, a bit shocked. "Yes… Um… Down this hall" she explained, pointing at some direction.

He got up on wobbly legs. "Thank you, miss"

Have you read this? He wrote it all himself

That's not possible, he surely copied from somewhere else!

"Do you want me to go with you?" proposed Eliza, starting to feel nervous.

Alexander dismissed it with a hand and walked out the spinning living room, facing now the tight hallway. He made his way to the end of it, his head going in circles and having to support his weight by the two walls by his sides.

Who does he think he is? If he doesn't like it in here, he's free to leave!

No one will miss him, anyways

He made his way into the tiny bathroom, closing the door behind his backs. He walked to the sink and turned the tap on. The sound of the water didn't help to stop his messy thoughts. On the contrary, it seemed to make them worse.

The water flooded the first floor.

Neddy woke him up in a rush.

The screams, the cries for help.

The destruction.

It's good to know the people are going back to normal after such an event…
I wish the same happens to you soon, Alex…

He splashed some water against his heated and red face and then turned the tap off. Now, his strangled breathing was clearer to his ears. Alexander couldn't decide whether he preferred the water running or his pathetic whimpers.

"Put it together" he whispered, between shaky breaths.

A sob escaped his mouth, and he pressed a clammy hand against his pale lips.

What? Are you gonna cry?

Alexander squeezed his eyes shut, lowering his head as he tried to take in a deep breath, with no avail. His legs shook beneath him and he was too scared to look at his reflection.

Look at you. You're a mess.
We're trying to make something worthy out of you, and this is the way you thank us?

"Shut up" he complained, under his breath. "Come on" he encouraged himself. "Un, deux, trois… Un, deux, trois…" he counted, growing more nervous instead of calmer. "Come on, god damnit, what's wrong with me?" he cursed, tightening the grip he had on the sink.

His brother left him here?

Just like his mother, he can't keep anyone around him

It's not surprising, he's so obnoxious

"Un, deux, trois… Un, deu…"

Alexander stumbled on spot, almost falling to the ground. His head began to pound, and he raised a hand to bury in his now messy hair, soaked in sweat.

The sensation made a flash to cross his mind. The last thing he wanted to see or feel ever again.

Chéri, je suis désolée…

"Not this fucking thing…" complained Alex, his voice shaking uncontrollably.

Je t'aime… Je vous aime tant

Alexander then put his other hand on the other side of the head, as well, this time gripping his hair brusquely.

"Stop" he commanded, but his brain was already running free.

To his disgrace.

That kid's non-stop, I think he doesn't even sleep!

He just works, he doesn't even try to interact with the rest

He thinks to be above everyone else

Alexander tried to count inside his head, but he couldn't manage to think clearly, the voices, the taunts, the hatred was going in circles, disorderly , inside his head. It was chaos, it was destroying his mind slowly but resolutely.

You work, you write, you talk, you fight as if you were running out of time, as if it were going out of style, as if you needed it to survive…

"I need to" he muttered, the grip on his hair growing stronger. "I have to, I…"

Life is passing you by

"No, I'm…

I'm making full use of it"

I'm making full use of it

His youngest voice responded at the same time.

Alexander was starting to feel sick to his stomach.

Look around you!
Why is it never enough?!
What will be enough for you?!

Well, sorry for forgetting how you saved the family with the fortune you made
Ah, no, it's true, you did not

I'll never be good enough, thought Alexander, panicky. I'll never do enough.

You're never satisfied!

You're not worth it. You'll never be worth it

Will you ever be satisfied? What will it take?!

Are you writing again? What for? They're all messy, useless things

Alexander, please, take a break.
Please, just come home.
Come back to sleep…

"I… I can't, I…" he excused himself to no one in particular, just his reflection was there, judging him, judging all his mistakes.

Elle nous a quittés, Alex… [She's gone, Alex…]

She died because of me, he thought, hating the warm feeling of tears running down his cheeks. She died, she gave up because of me, because I wasn't strong enough. It should've been me.

The doctors said he has a chance to survive

It should've been me, kept repeating Alex, inside his head, as he went to grab the sink again, his legs unable to put up with his weight. With all the weight he felt on his shoulders. I couldn't help them, he thought, shaking like a leaf and unable to control his tears or how fast he was beginning to breathe. I couldn't help anybody, I can't help anybody, I'm not doing enough, I'll never do enough.

There are people who'll hate you.
Those will try to break you.

And what happens when that person trying to break you is yourself? Alexander should've asked, he should've asked so many things, told her too many things…

I can't anymore, it was all my fault.

A day will come in which you'll see all the destruction your inner hurricane is making. You'll see how many broken things live inside you

I can't do it, thought Alexander, and, to his horror, that wasn't part of his tortuous thoughts. That had been him, it'd been his voice. He knew, was realising, he couldn't do it.

You're not feeling it now, you're choosing not to feel or see it, but there will be day when you will

Alexander, please, just talk to me, let me inside your heart.
Let me be part of your life

The room was spinning, looming over him. Alexander didn't dare to look up, he didn't dare to keep his head up. I can't do this, I can't do this, I'm going to ruin this, I'm going to ruin everybody's lives…

And that day, you will see just how much destruction you've been bearing within

He had made his father leave; had let his mother die; had made his brother to abandon him as well; had failed at saving the Stevens; had messed up every single foster home he was sent to; he'd taken all the Knox gave him for granted; had neglected his friends; had hurt Eliza… He had…

He had abandoned his children.

Alexander had become his father.

There's nothing broken inside me

Alexander wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but his lack of oxygen and shaking fit just allowed him to let a simple and pathetic whimper escape his mouth. He couldn't do anything right.

He grabbed his hair, pulling it in desperation, and making himself fell to the floor. He sunk into himself, becoming a little trembling ball on the floor of a client's bathroom. I'm pathetic, he insulted himself, as he sobbed and yanked his hair, punishing himself for his ineptitude.

"I can't do this…" he muttered, sounding broken and defeated. "I can't do this, I can't do this…"

He repeated the discouraging sentence over and over. The world around him disappearing. It was only he and his mind. A meeting Alexander had do the impossible in order to never have to live.

Alexander didn't know how much time he'd spent like that until he felt himself being pulled into a hug. The warm body enveloping him returning him back to the present world slowly. His eyes adjusted to his surroundings, and Alexander could see the bathroom door was wide opened; his ears caught a distant conversation along with hurried steps becoming closer and clearer.

Eliza stepped on the door, genuine terror crossing her sweet features as she saw the state he was in. Alexander didn't even want to imagine it, he felt small enough. His wife made her way into the room, kneeling in front of him. Just in that moment, the person that'd been hugging him got separated. Alexander was slightly surprised to see it'd been Burr. He avoided his glare. He knew what his workmate was thinking.

Alex looked down, seeing Eliza had taken his hand, but he wasn't feeling it. He wasn't feeling anything exterior, but in the inside, everything was too real and too intense for his likings. Eliza's lips moved, but he didn't hear any words coming out, the noise of his beating heart and blood running through his veins deafening his hearing.

Eliza frowned in concern, and put a gentle hand on his tear-steaked cheek. With her thumb wiped away the new that were still falling, against his better wishes. How lower was he going to fall that day?

Maria appeared then, a glass of water in hand. She walked in and passed it to Eliza, who put it in his lips and helped him drink until he almost choke.

"Sorry" he heard her apologising, faintly. "Alex, honey, can you hear me?" she asked, slowly, as if talking to a little child.

And, as a little child, Alexander felt his eyes burning with more tears that wanted to break free. Eliza sensed it as well, and embraced him without a doubt.

"Ssh, everything will be fine, Alex. I'm here" she soothed, her hot breath hitting his ear and grounding him somehow.

Alexander didn't have enough strengths left to stiff at the well-known lie.

"He should go home" advised Burr, sounding strangely distressed. You've done this to him, Alexander told himself inside his head.

"Yes" Maria agreed, with tiny voice. "We can… We can let the trial to another day, when he feels better"

Eliza nodded in their direction, grateful. Alexander ignored the glares he got for being silent while people around him commented about what he should do.

"Let's go home, honey" cooed Eliza, passing an arm around her shoulders and getting up slowly. "That's it. It's okay, honey, I've got you" she promised, smiling softly in his direction.

Eliza grew more worried when she saw her husband wasn't putting to much of a fight for being dragged to the front door. Burr didn't say anything about how Hamilton avoided his glare at all costs. Maria looked serious at the pale man, embracing herself, knowing pretty well what had happened thought not knowing the reasons behind such a horrible breakdown.

The Hamilton marriage (more like Eliza) bid farewell to Burr and Maria, who did their best to show a reassuringly and polite smile in their direction. Eliza helped Alexander sit on the co-pilot seat and she drove them home. The silence felt too heavy, especially after having been married to a motormouth for five years.

"Alex?" she asked, as soon she had to stop at the first red light on their way back. The man didn't respond, just looking through the windshield with a lost expression. She placed a hand on his husband's cold one. "Alexander, honey, don't worry. You just need some rest" she encouraged. "Everything will be fine afterwards"

"No, nothing ever is" he talked back, withdrawing his hand and looking in the opposite direction.

Eliza did all within her power for not crying as well.

"He's been in bed for more than a week. Maria and Burr are delaying the day of the trial, but there'll come a moment when they'd have to… To do it. With or without Alexander"

Eliza poured the hot tea in three cups. She passed one to her older sister, who'd come to know how her brother-in-law was doing. Angelica looked at the steaming liquid, as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Eliza put the other two on a tray, along with four half sandwiches.

"He hasn't left the room in all this time?" asked Angelica, not meeting her sister's glare.

Eliza shook her head, numbly. "He… He just leaves to go to the bathroom, but nothing else. The kids are starting…"

Eliza's voice broke at the mention of the kids. They'd been asking for their father. One thing was to know Alexander was at work, but another one was to know he was locked up inside his bedroom, barely talking or doing anything. Eliza never thought she'd say this, but she missed the furious tapping and scratching of her husband's writings, or his loud voice, commenting every single detail life thrown his way.

Angelica got up from her seat, embracing her little sister with all her might. Eliza wet her shirt with a few tears she couldn't keep from falling. Angelica caressed her loose and dishevelled hair. Alexander wasn't the only one who'd lost interest in looking presentable.

"I don't know what to do" admitted Eliza, between sobs. "I…He… He won't talk to me. I don't know…"

"It's alright, Betsey, we'll do everything within our power to help you two get out of this" promised Angelica, her strength clear in each word. Eliza envied her personality so much sometimes…

"I could've prevented this" said Eliza, suddenly. "I was seeing something was going wrong, but…"

"Betsey, you've married an Icarus" Angelica told her, tightening the hug. "He's flown too close to the sun"

That didn't help her to feel better, or the situation to get better. But the sooner Eliza knew the truth and learnt how to cope with it, the sooner she'd be able to act as the situation needed it.

"Alexander?" Eliza's tiny voice called from the other side of the door, after two polite knocks. "Can I come in, honey?"

"Yes" he responded, not very interested.

The door cracked open, slowly, and the figure of a tired Eliza stood at the other side. He had done that to her. He was destroying his family as his father had done, as Alexander had sworn to never do when he had his own. You mess everything up…

Eliza sat beside him, her eyes scrutinizing every inch of his being. Alexander turned his head, not wanting to see her disappointment. His wife sighed and passed a distressed hand through her hair.

"I don't know what to do" she admitted, totally serious. "I don't know how to approach you or fix this" She took his hand and squeezed it. "I need your help, Alexander. Please, tell me what I've got to do, and I'll do it"

There was a pause before Alex replied: "I don't know either"

He locked eyes with his wife, who was staring straight at him. There was no disappointment, just sadness. And exhaustion.

"How is Maria?"

Out of all the things he'd thought about asking, this wasn't one of the top 20. Eliza seemed as surprised, but answered, nonetheless.

"They're delaying the trial"

"They can't keep doing that" Alex frowned.

Eliza shrugged. "Angel said the same"

"Is she here again?"

"She comes every time she can, and when she can't, she calls" explained Eliza, almost upset at the scepticism of her husband. "She loves you a lot"

Alexander turned his head away again. Eliza's frown grew deeper.

"The kids ask why you're like this"

"What have you told them?"

"That you're sick, but they still want to see you"

He huffed. "Thought they'd grown used to not having me around"

"Alexander!" exclaimed Eliza, in a scolding manner.

"That was what happened to me" he defended himself, with a vague shrug. "My father was never there for the first ten years of my life; when he left us, it was as if nothing changed"

"Alex…"

"Well, except for his debt. That little bitch grew better than my brother or I did"

"Alexander"

"Do you know what I promised to myself after my father left?"

Eliza didn't dare to ask. Alexander interpreted her silence as an invitation to confess.

"I promised and swore to never be like my father"

A cruel, cold laugh escape his lips. Eliza felt shivers going down her spine at the sound.

"You're not your father, Alexander" she conceded.

"You said it yourself, the kids are always asking where their father is"

"Yes, and I can give them a concise answer" Eliza took the liberty to lie down next to him. "You know how I know you're not like him?" she asked, in a whisper.

"How?" asked Alexander, failing at sounding uninterested, needed of something that, for once, convinced that he was in the wrong.

"I'm sure he never sat in a bed for weeks feeling bad about his mistakes as a parent" She passed an arm behind his back and began to caress his hair. "We'll get over this, Alex. I'm here, Angel is here. Peggy, John, Herc, Laf. Even your children, though they don't understand very well what's happening. Everyone is here for you, and we're going nowhere"

"I don't know why" he confessed, before he could stop himself.

Eliza threw an upset glare in his direction. "Because we care about you"

"I haven't earned that. I've been…"

Alexander sighed deeply, tiredly, and buried his face against his hands. Eliza moved beside him and knelt on the mattress, so she could be able to look directly at him and take the hands away from his eyes. She had a resolute glare, a serious expression. A strength and power she didn't know she possessed, that he hadn't realised she had. Gosh, how did that even happen?

"I don't care what you did or what you said" assured Eliza, deadly serious. "I just care about the fact that you need help, and I'm gonna give it you. We all are going to give it to you. And before you ask…" she added, more playfully, when she saw him opening his mouth to retort. "We'll do it because you're worth it"

Alexander flinched at that sentence, a flashback again coming back to the front of his mind. This one, though, more pleasant than the rest that hadn't stopped visiting him. All Vera had sacrificed for making him live a good life; all the Knox had done for him… He might not be worth all that, but those three people, along with the others that Alexander had known and still remained by his side, still thinking he was worth fighting for, didn't deserve that him threw away his shot.

He leaned forwards, pressing a forceful kiss against Eliza's lips, who moaned in surprise. Without giving her time to react, he also hugged her.

"You're the best of wives and best of women, Betsey" he whispered, against her hair.

She blushed and giggled, embarrassed. "Shut up, flatterer"

She almost fell against her noses when Alexander made his way out of the mattress. She looked over her shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna call Maria, I want to meet with her to tell her she had to keep going" answered Alexander, opening his wardrobe to choose what clothes he'd be waring.

Eliza frowned in worry. "Alex, hun, I don't think you're…"

"I will not take part into it" he admitted, in a low tone.

"What?" she asked, in the same volume.

Alex turned around, a bitter yet resolute expression on his face. "I want her to win, she deserves to win. If I have to step to the side, then…"

This time, Eliza surprised him by jumping from the mattress and hugged him tightly. He reciprocated the action almost immediately. Eliza smiled, satisfied. This is the man I married.

"I… I don't know what I'd do from now on, Betsey" he admitted, hating how weak he sounded. "But… But I…"

"It's alright" she assured, caressing his back. "I'll be here for you. Whatever you decide" she got separated from him, placing a comforting hand on his cheek. Alexander grabbed it and pressed it further in his skin, the gentle touch making him feel a bit better. "I'll support you" she promised.

"Thanks, Betsey"

Knock, knock.

"Wouldn't want to interrupt the soup opera, but…" began to say Angelica, smiling at the marriage.

"Angelica, were you eavesdropping?" scolded Eliza, folding her arms upon her chest.

"Eliza, do you really ask things like that after so many years?" asked Angelica, imitating her tone and posture. She smiled warmly when she saw Alex trying to contain his laughter. "I think you won't have to worry about what to do with your life, Alex"

He cocked one eyebrow. "Oh, and why is that?"

Angelica threw one of her smiles that clearly said 'I know something you don't and wouldn't guess in a million years'.

"I'll just have to make one call. He's heard so much about you, from several sources, including myself, so, you're welcome" she let the words hanging in the air, as she waggled her eyebrows. Alex rolled his eyes with affection. "And you already know him, so, I know for sure that you'd love working together"

"I know him?" echoed Alexander, tilting his head to the side.

"What are you scheming, sis?" asked Eliza, with a smile.

Angelica winked and took her phone out, triumphally. "Leave it to me"

The only sound the three men heard was the quiet motor of the car, which, thank goodness, was fixed that same morning. After all the bad luck they (especially he) had lived the last three days, this little thing was a miracle.

George looked through the rear-mirror, seeing Thomas sat at the backseats, looking through the window uncomfortably, and then to his right side, seeing Alexander doing just the same, but with a more bothered expression. He swallowed.

"Thank you for taking me and my mother out of the cell" he talked, finally breaking the heavy silence the ride had been sunken into.

"It's okay, sir" replied Alexander, looking back at him for a brief minute.

No one talked for the rest of the ride.

Not until they reached the houses the two men lived in, side by side. George bid them goodbye, he was reciprocated by the same farewell and a 'thank you' (that didn't sound very honest, but this time George couldn't blame them) and both parted ways, without dedicating each other a last glare.

Washington stayed there for a couple of minutes. He let out a sigh. God have mercy of us now back at the law firm. Surely his worst damned idea ever…

Alexander entered the huge building Washington wanted to meet with him in order to have more help against his boss. He was told all the things that King guy used to do, not in detail, but it was enough to understand why anyone would want to face the man and demand for something in exchange or simply leave without repercussions.

He'd want to say he couldn't believe those people existed in real life, but he'd be lying. Sadly.

He looked around himself, seeing a lot of movement from each person that appeared in sight. Plenty of conversations filled his ears and, for a moment, Alexander's nostalgia transformed into a knot of anxiety inside his stomach. He decided to shake his head and get to the task at hand.

"Excuse me?" he asked to the receptionist, who had been watching him the entire time and had already a smile prepared. "I'm here to see Mr Washington?"

The blonde girl nodded. "Yes. His office is in the second floor. The… Um…" she struggled for a moment. "Em… The third? Or fourth?" she looked back at him, a blush on her cheeks. "Em… It's one of the first doors of the second floor, sorry, I can't…"

Alexander smiled gently at her. "It's alright. Thank you for your help" he nodded, walking to the elevator.

The girl looked at him, a bit surprised for his attitude. Alexander tried to ignore the guilt in his guts when he thought about how a few months ago, he'd have snapped at her for such ineptitude.

He pushed the elevator button and waited until it reached that floor. Just when the doors dinged, he heard a little collide at his backs, accompanied by grumpy growl and cursed words dedicated to someone. Alexander looked over his shoulders, seeing a man a few years older than him knelt on the floor, gathering the papers the collision made him drop in a nervous manner. Alex looked to his left then, seeing a man in a suit, still throwing curses against the uselessness of some people in here. He frowned in his direction and turned on his heels, forgetting about the elevator, opened in front of him.

"Are you alright, sir?" he asked, kneeling by his side and helping him picking up the papers. "Here, let me help you"

"I-It's not necessary, you…"

"It's okay" he assured, passing him the documents he had already on his hands. "Here"

The man hesitated for a moment before taking the papers. "Thank you" he said, sounding surprised.

Both got up and Alexander frowned slightly when he saw the man was quite tall in comparison. He saw the girl back at the counter, seeing the scene with wide eyes. Alexander felt a bit bad for them and started to understand why Washington and Angelica were so mad any time they talked about this place. If such a thing as helping someone shocked that much, he'd have to get down to work immediately. The thought of it put a smile on his face.

"Well, have a good rest of your day" said Alexander, waving at the receptionist in the distance, who waved back, quite unsurely.

"Same" said the man, arching one eyebrow.

Alexander stopped when he saw the elevator doors closed. He made a tsk sound with the tongue as a complaint. The man behind him heard him, and stayed there, with a frown.

"Sorry, it was…" he began to say.

Alex waved one hand to dismiss it. "I'll go upstairs, not a problem" he said, heading towards the staircase.

The man and the girl watched him go. The receptionist walked to where her workmate was.

"You okay, Tommy?" she asked, concerned.

He nodded. "Yes, nothing new, Marisa"

"I wouldn't say so" she said, glaring at the staircase. "A part of me wants him to work in here and another one hope he doesn't get the chance. This place would ruin his personality" commented the girl, totally serious.

Thomas sighed. "Just when I'm sent abroad, decent people start working in here"

Marisa smiled sympathetically at him and nodded, with understanding.

"I wish we've asked for his name" she commented, all of a sudden.

Thomas shrugged. "If he's going to work in here, you'd learn eventually"

"Yeah, but I'll be here to do so"

"Well, I doubt I would ever have anything to do with that man"

"True…"

"How is everything going with Augustine?"

Aaron stopped at the sudden question. He'd found Alexander in the break room taking his first mug of coffee of the several that were about to come, and both had greeted respectfully. Aaron noted the upset aura around Alexander once he and Thomas came back to work, and decided to leave the mind alone until he felt the vibes changed. Almost a month later, nothing did. Alexander ignored the secretary as if he had evaporated from the staff, and the world in general. Thomas didn't seem to do much to fix it, but was as uncomfortable as the rest of the team.

All in all, it'd been a hard month, more than that summer when the two men met. And that was saying something. And, also, it'd been quite the surprise to hear Alexander caring and asking about his personal life. He smiled a bit at the thoughtfulness of his workmate.

"Better than I thought" he answered, as both made their way down the hallway to where the immigrant's office was.

Alexander dedicated him a surprised glare. "Really?"

"Yes, we… talked a bit, and things are slowly going well" he explained, ambiguously.

Alexander nodded. "Yes, that's what usually happens when you talk things with people" he teased.

"Another moment ruined by you" fake-complained Aaron.

They were startled by John Adams, running in their opposite direction.

"Nobody's eaten your last donut, Adams" screamed Alexander.

He received a cursed word no one understood, but knew it had to be that for the enraged tone the lawyer's voice possessed. Aaron stopped in his tracks again when he saw Jefferson, enraged, knelt on the floor, picking up some sheets spread across the floor.

"He bumped into you?" asked Aaron.

"More like push me without second thought" answered Thomas, relaxing a bit at the conversationally tone Aaron held.

Aaron nodded and knelt on the floor. "Let me help you"

"Thank you"

They both stopped their task when they felt Alexander simply passing them by, dedicating the scene a simple and quick glare, and going directly to his office, a few steps away.

Both flinched at the sound of Alexander's door slamming shut.

Aaron didn't comment anything, just passing the sheets he had gathered to the secretary. Jefferson nodded as a 'thank you' and got up, throwing a glare over his shoulder. He sighed, resigned, and passed Aaron a few papers.

"Could you please give Hamilton these? He's not…"

"Alright, it's alright" assured Aaron, wanting to avoid an awkward situation for the two.

"Thank you"

Aaron looked at him leave, feeling a bit bad for him. But decided to stand to the side. He didn't know what had happened to make Alexander that mad or Thomas so willing to put up with the CFO's childish way of dealing with the problem. Not even Madison knew what happened, for what he always shrugged whenever someone asked him and frowned at each one of these kinds of scenes they all had to witness. Washington didn't know what to do this time, and Angelica was as lost as him, though she knew. Eliza and Peggy were the only ones who knew what happened, as they heard it through the phone, but refused to say anything to anyone that wasn't his sister, and surprisingly, neither of the three ever betrayed Alexander's trust.

The lawyer exhaled, tiredly, and knocked on Alexander's door, while praying they would find a solution to this soon.

NOTES:

*Secretary's office: I hope I translated that right. Back in my first school, we called it that. It's when you go to ask for permission to enter if you were too late or to ask for some information.

*A dick you didn't know (Y una polla que no [lo sabías]": A vulgar expression we use as a "You didn't know, my arse", or similar. We can also simply say "Sí, y una polla (Yeah, and a dick!)".

*Honest-to-God* (Como Dios manda - As God commands). That's how we say "To do something properly".

*Actual lyrics: "No me reproches que no sepa darte amor. No digas que no entiendes cómo puedo ser así; si te estoy haciendo daño, lo aprendí de ti". The song is "Aprendiz", written by Alejandro Sanz, talking about a period in his marriage in which he and his wife started to be torn apart by time and past things. The most famous cover is by Malú. Though this song is about a marriage, I always associated it with any kind of relationship that goes to hell through time because one part stood a lot of bullshit and, when they reach the breaking point, the person who's been hurting them questions why they are so cold or mean to them.

*To be born in a golden cradle (Nacer en una cuna de oro): Our version of "born with a silver spoon in your mouth"

*"With the curriculum you have on your backs": Alexander is talking about the money Thomas took from when he worked for George King.

*"That was why he didn't listen to James' advices about talking the problem that happened between Hamilton and him out": Thomas is envious that Alexander's life goes so well while his, doing the same thing as he did (leaving the life he knew and starting anew) is going horrible. He didn't want to admit that was the reason he didn't want Alexander to help him.

*Alexander leaving in complete silence and his cold treatment is a personal vent for past experiences with people that wasted their times envying the things I've got or achieved, instead of doing something with their lives.

*The whole scene of Mary Washington messing up in the store is based on a true event that happened someplace in my country. I've changed the circumstances (and the final, no one was hit with a purse XD), but the root was a real story.

*A not very funny thing about myself: I based Hamilton's reaction on how I can or want to react when someone touches my things. Even if it's just for cleaning. Just tell me to move it, and I'll do it, and I'll even clean that spot myself. But never touch my things xD

*A funnier thing about me: I was like Theo when I played with my dolls. I once made Snow White a badass secret agent XD.

NOTES (MORE LIKE RAMBLING XD):

BTW, I feel like the last flashback wasn't well explained. Alexander was hardening his heart because he knew his job was difficult and didn't want to get too involved into anyone's case or life; it backfired, as he started to be insensitive even with close people and he bottled up everything that happened to him, as he never went to get the help he needed to get over his past experiences (traumas and PTSD).

Rachel's first husband sent her to jail to "teach her how to be a proper wife", as she was very "it's my life and I'm gonna live it". Here, she only passed for something similar Alexander had to live with the Fulton. Maria reminded Alexander of the abuse he and Rachel endured, and everything he'd been pushing to the back of his mind just popped up and hence his breakdown.

On a more bright note: as I know this had a bittersweet ending, and the next chapter is gonna be a bit angsty again, I'm writing another 'filler-chapter', 'special', 'I-don't-know-what-anymore' chapter about Alexander taking care of another meeting and another phone call. So, I'll upload those before the real chapter, so we can light the mood a bit.

ANSWERS:

j'cris ton nom: I think my misinterpretation might be Lumiere's fault, from Beauty and the Beast, I kind of remember him calling that to Belle on several ocassions XD. Thanks for the explanation!
When it comes to show the worst part of intolerance (not a simple 'I don't get it, and so I'm afraid of it and I act like an asshole'), but this kind of high level of malice, I'm always afraid of doing it too sugar-coat or going to far. Then, I turn on the TV and see some news... That let me thinking 'In what century I'm living?'.
Yes, it said in the movie, but I didn't know that detail. Now, I'll not be able not to giggle while watching it again XD.
That kind of personality fits Alexander for some reason. And here you've got Lucy, with her own little presentation and all. Hope you liked her.
I'm not very into football (a really great deed taking into account there hasn't been anything else on TV since the World Cup started). But thank you! =D

HISTORY LESSON:

*"Yes, Mary Sue, I know you've come here to talk about your book":

It was March of the year 1993, a Spanish program called "Queremos saber" (We want to know) had a writer as a guest, Francisco "Paco" Umbral. That same week, the president Felipe González promised to step down if the acussations of his party being corrupt were true (which were). Felipe was jeered by the students of the Autonomous University of Madrid, who called him corrupt (and, to make matters worse, he did not step down as he promised). The program previously mentioned had as public a bunch of young people who were commenting the whole thing for around two hours. The hostess kept passing images of what happened back at the University, asking for the public's opinion; meanwhile, some of the guests, as Umbral or Emilio Romero (another writer and journalist) barely said a thing.

The program only had 5 minutes left before it finished, and Umbral exploded.

According to him, the hostess called him because they wanted him to talk about his book "La Década Roja" (The red decade), that talked about the last ten years of our politic, if I recall correctly, and that'd have to do with the subject they'd be discussing that day. Umbral went a bit cuckoo, throwing in the hostess' face how she had lied to him, that they'd laughed at him, that he'd come for nothing, that he didn't understand what he was doing there, and saying little pearls such as "You lied, as the rest of the TV, which is putrefied, does to each of us. I didn't come here to talk about the people's opinions, which I don't care about at all. I don't come to the TV as a pariah, not being paid, just for your little programs can have our names and then ignore us".

The hostess (who, later in her career would lose the people's love for being obnoxious and doing trash TV) was a bit shocked, saying she was about to let him talk about the book (with five minutes left for the program to finish. Yeah, right xD). And Umbral kept complaining, telling her "We've just seen absurd images about things we all know about, about a thing we all have already seen... Then, advertisings; then, more images... And time goes by, goes by, and we don't talk about my book! We either talk about my book, or I'll leave! I came here to talk about my book!"

And the famous quote was born. It became legendary. Even to this day, 25 years later, people would still use the "I came here to talk about my book" to refer to people who are obsessed about discussing or talking about one single issue, and not seem to look beyond that. I even saw some calling them Umbral, after the man that started it all.

Here, I was waiting for the best moment to use it. And something tells me I'd use it again at some point, because I'm that kind of a genius who repeats jokes XD.

What Jefferson is saying is that Alexander seems only focused on "his sob story", about how he went beyond expectatives, etc. etc. And can't talk about anything else, or always tries to come back to the same, in case people forgets how "above he is in comparison to everybody else".

Now, apart from those news of two light-mooded chapters coming ahead, let's lighten the mood a bit more. I came with this comeback when I finally watched the video, and it was at night, and at night my mind goes crazier than it's already is XD. And I imagined the room where it happens going like this: Jefferson and Madison giving Hamilton the runaround, and Hamilton saying all the things Umbral said at some point. Now imagine him as "I came here to talk about my debt plan. We either talk about my debt plan or I'll leave". I think it fits him as a glove XD

Also, a funny fact about the whole mess: back in the nineties, everybody called Umbral obnoxious with airs, but nowadays everybody saw he was in the right, after so many things coming out about lies that have been on the TV and how the programs had gone so down to the point barely anyone watch TV. And interesting fact, if you ask me.

Sursum corda!

*Reads all the shit she's written* ... ... ... Sometimes, I feel like I should start a blog about random thoughts and experiences that flop up inside my head, later I watch YouTube videos about creepy people that live out there and the idea goes away quickly. But really these lenghty notes are not normal, wtf.