This chapter was weirdly difficult to write, so I hope it's okay!
Chapter 25
In which Jimmy receives some important news and shares it with Thomas.
"Good morning, Mrs Hughes," Mr Carson greeted her as she came into the porter's lodge that morning. "I trust you had a pleasant holiday?"
Mrs Hughes set her handbag down on the side, shrugging off her coat and putting the kettle on. "I did, thank you! I think a week at the seaside was exactly what I needed. What about you, did you enjoy your time off?"
"Yes, I did," said Mr Carson, turning in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. "You know, Mrs Hughes, I was wondering… is there a Mr Hughes?"
"Not for thirty years, there hasn't been," she smiled sadly. "Is there a Mrs Carson?"
Mr Carson looked shocked, as if it hadn't occurred to him that Mrs Hughes might ask the similar question. "No, no, there's… there's no Mrs Carson."
He took the offered mug of tea from Mrs Hughes, humming in approval as he sipped it.
"I was wondering, Mrs Hughes, if maybe at the weekend you would like to join me for dinner?"
Mrs Hughes sat in the chair other chair, smiling warmly as she sipped her own tea. "On one condition. You start calling me Elsie."
Mr Carson smiled, a twinkle in his eyes. "As long as you call me Charlie."
It was a strange feeling for Mary, unpacking her suitcase in her room in college for the final time. Every term she told herself she'd pack lighter than she did for the previous one, and every term she failed in that. But where had the time gone? She glanced around the little room in the college that had been her home for the last three years, a heavy feeling of sadness settling in her chest. In two months it would all be over; she'd be graduating, leaving for good, having to work out what to do with her time, with her life. She'd been telling her parents for years now that she was an adult, and now, suddenly, it was about to become reality.
As she gazed out over the quad, she couldn't help but think back over her time at the college. There was the lawn that their summer picnics and garden parties were held on, the storage cupboard that she and Thomas had pretended to make out in, the bush she'd thrown up over on her first night. Twenty-one suddenly seemed too old, and she felt too young, for this to be over in a flash.
She was pulled out of her reminiscences by a sharp knock at the door.
"It's open, come on in."
The door creaked open and Matthew slipped in, his whole posture visibly relaxing as soon as he saw Mary.
"Hello, Mary," he smiled as they kissed, not letting go of each other's hands even as they pulled apart. "I'm… I'm so glad you're back. I missed you so much."
"You saw me every weekend," Mary said, her tone chiding but the twinkle in her eyes telling him that she was joking. "But I missed you too."
He hummed his approval as they kissed once again, this time lingering for a few seconds before parting.
"Be honest with me, though," said Mary, smiling mischievously. "Are you really glad to see me? Or are you just happy to finally spend time with someone who isn't Jimmy?"
Matthew laughed, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her closer. "You've got me there! As great as Jimmy is, it has been quite tiring living with him for the last few weeks. He's been pining," he added at Mary's inquisitive look.
"I suppose I don't really have to ask what – or who – he's been pining for."
"It doesn't exactly take a genius to work that out, though. How is Thomas, by the way? After, you know…"
"Better," said Mary. "I think it was good that we had the holidays straight away; gave him time to go home, have some space, sort everything out in his head. I think the only person surprised at how quickly he seems to be moving on is him; he cared for Edward, of course, but not enough to send him into the spiral that I think he'd expected."
"That's something, I suppose. But enough about them; I think it's time they sort themselves out. I don't know about you, but I feel like we've put more than our fair share into their relationship."
"So, if Jimmy and Thomas never got together, and there was something you could do about it, you wouldn't?"
Matthew knew he'd been caught out. "Fine, I would. But only if it was the last resort!"
"Good. You know… I really did miss you."
"Really? The great and cold Mary Grantham missed me?"
"Of course I missed you, I love you," Mary laughed, her hand on his chest. She froze as soon as her words registered in her mind, her eyes wide in panic for a second as she stepped back before carefully recomposing herself. "What I meant to say was…"
Her eyes betrayed her, flitting from side to side as she desperately tried to think of something else to say, but Matthew gently took her face in his hands, kissing her forehead.
"I love you too," he whispered and kissed her softly, smiling against her lips. "So, so much."
The following morning, Jimmy blearily wondered around the tiny kitchen making breakfast.
"Matthew, do you want coffee?" he called, tugging at his t-shirt as he yawned.
"Yes, please," Matthew called back, still buttoning up his shirt as he came out of his room. "Have you got the post yet?"
"Nah, not yet," Jimmy said through a mouthful of toast.
Matthew sauntered into the hallway, picking up the post and bringing it through. "Bank statement… gas bill… oh, this one's for you."
He handed the last envelope to Jimmy who glanced at the envelope, doing a double-take when he saw the return address.
"Matthew," Jimmy breathed, his face white and hands shaking. "Matthew, this is – this is it, this is it!" He looked straight at Matthew, eyes wide in panic, the envelope still clutched in his hand. "I have to go, I – I have to go!"
He marched straight past Matthew, envelope in one hand and toast in the other and opened the door wide open, dashing through it.
"Jimmy?" Matthew called, darting after his friend. "Jimmy, where are you going?"
He ran down the stairs, worry rising in his chest, stepping outside only to see Jimmy running down the street, confused pedestrians moving aside and staring. Matthew couldn't work out for the life of him where Jimmy was going – until Jimmy turned, running down a side street which Matthew knew led straight to Downton College.
Smiling to himself, Matthew took out his phone, absent-mindedly dialling.
"Mary? It's Jimmy. He's gone rogue."
Thomas was dragged out of a deep sleep by a loud, incessant knocking – or rather, banging – in his room. He sat up instantly, looking around for the source of the noise, before realising that it was someone at his door.
"I'm coming," he called out blearily, struggling to tug on his dressing gown as he answered the door. "Jimmy? Are you – are you in your pyjamas? And your slippers? What time is it?"
"Thomas!" A frazzled Jimmy pushed Thomas back into his room, slamming the door behind him. "Thomas, it came, the letter came, and I don't know what to do, look at it! Look at it!"
He waved the envelope in Thomas', face, stepping back and running his fingers through his hair when Thomas took it, eagerly looking at the envelope before his face fell.
"You haven't opened it?" asked Thomas as Jimmy paced the room. "Why – why not?"
Jimmy stopped in his tracks, looking at Thomas as if he'd asked a ridiculous question. "Because I – I'm scared, Thomas! I – I really want this, really, I do, more than – more than anything, well, not quite anything, but – but you know what I mean!" The colour rushed to his face, and Thomas couldn't help but feel that he'd intruded on a private moment even though it was just the two of them there.
"Jimmy…" Thomas took a few tentative steps towards Jimmy, putting his hands on Jimmy's shoulders. "Jimmy, I don't know what's in this letter, any more than you do, but you'll never know if you don't open it. If it's the news you hoped for then that's brilliant, but if it's not… if it's not then we'll deal with it. It won't be the end of the world. But at least you'll know.
Jimmy stared at Thomas, slowly processing his words. "You're right," he said decisively. "I – I have to know."
Slowly, as if he was worried it might somehow hurt him, he took the envelope with trembling fingers out of Thomas' hand. He tore it open, hands shaking, clumsily tugging out the letter inside and unfolding it.
"What does it say?" Thomas asked, his breath caught in his throat.
Jimmy looked up from the letter, wide eyes meeting Thomas'. "I got in," he breathed.
"Wh-what?!" Thomas couldn't help but grin wider than he could ever remember grinning before. "You got in? You – you got the place?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Jimmy, jumping up with excitement. "I got a place, I'm in, I – I can't believe it! I'm – I'm going to London, I'm going to music college, I – this is bloody brilliant!"
He threw the letter at Thomas who read through it, grinning even harder as he saw the words printed on the paper.
"This – Jimmy, this is fantastic! You – you did it, you really did it!"
Jimmy laughed loudly with an infectious happiness, his hands pressed to his head in disbelief. "I – I can't believe this, this is, this is ridiculous, I'm going, I got in, this is really happening, is it? Is it really happening? Thomas, is it – is it really happening?"
Thomas nodded, the smile still plastered on his face. "Yes," he said, his voice filled with a calm relief. "Yes, Jimmy, it's really happening."
Jimmy froze, the picture of happiness, his wide eyes staring straight at Thomas. "And… and this is really happening?"
"Jimmy, what - " Thomas started, but he was cut off as Jimmy closed the few feet between them, taking Thomas' face in his hands and kissing him fiercely. He stood in shock for a few seconds, moving his lips on instinct against Jimmy's, before his brain kicked in and he wrapped his arms around Jimmy, pulling him close. It was brand new but it felt like coming home, feeling Jimmy's chest pressed against his, Jimmy's hands, one on his shoulder, the other buried in his hair.
"Wow," Thomas breathed as they parted, resting their foreheads together.
"I've wanted to do that for a very long time," Jimmy whispered, his nose against Thomas'.
"Tell me about it!" Thomas kissed Jimmy again, slow and gentle.
"Thomas," Jimmy said when they parted once more, looping his arms around Thomas' neck, "I… I just, I can't - "
"It's okay," said Thomas. "It's fine, I understand, really, if you – if that's how you feel then, then we can just forget that this happened, it's fine. Honestly."
"What?" Jimmy pulled back to he could look Thomas straight in the eye. "You think that – no, Thomas, that's not what I mean, really, I just – I can't think, of what to say, because the way I feel, Thomas, it's all so much and I've never felt this way before about anyone and I spent so long worrying about it, and denying it, but – but I… I love being your friend but I don't want to be just friends for any longer."
"Really?" Thomas breathed. "You – you mean it? Even after, even after knowing everything? Because you deserve someone better than me, Jimmy, really, you do, someone who isn't – isn't broken, someone who isn't so screwed up."
"But I want you! Only you! Thomas – this is the one thing that I want the most. More than anything else. More than music college! I – I still can't believe that that letter says what it says – but it wouldn't matter if it said something different. Not if… not if what you said stayed the same."
"What? What do I say?"
Jimmy took a nervous breath, smiling up at Thomas. "Do you… will you be my boyfriend?"
Thomas kissed him soundly, pulling Jimmy close with one arm around his waist and the other hand on his back.
"You're sure it's me that you want? Because there are so many other people out there that are better for you, I promise."
"No one is better for me than you," Jimmy smiled despairingly, kissing Thomas once more. "So… what's your answer?"
Thomas grinned, brushing Jimmy's hair out of his eyes and kissing his forehead. "Yes, Jimmy. If you'll be mine?"
Only the epilogue to go! It will be up by the end of tomorrow :)