NS: Um, ohayo? xD; Hokai, hokai. I know that I was supposed to finish this fic before January 1st and its now March, but..eh. I ran out of inspiration. If it makes you feel any better, you aren't the only ones left out. My entire fanbase hates me right now because I am so very behind on updates.
Well, anyways, I wrote this chapter because I'm sitting here in ASP (saturday school ) and I have NOTHING to do. So I said, "Hey! Let's finish ABCs so maybe my fans might forgive me... maybe." -shifty eyes-
So please
don't hate me! -flinch- I love you all! OMG I DON'T OWN FRUITS
BASKET!! ...DUH. :)
Series: Fruits Basket
Pairings:
Yuki/Kyou
Rating: M for MATURE
Start Date: 3/1/08
Finish
Date: 3/1/08
Inspiration: Boredom. And... Utada Hikaru :DD
Chapter 25: Y is for
Yuki
"Is it because when I hug you, you don't transform?"
He had once asked me that. But I didn't really have an answer. Maybe that /was/ part of it. But I know there had to be more. A deeper, underlying answer.
Was it because he was never afraid to press his flesh flush to mine?
Was it because I never saw him once recoil when I reached out to touch him?
Was it because he would lean me back in his arms, my ear to his heartbeat, and whisper his life to me?
Or maybe it was the late nights when we sat up well part midnight and I listened over and over again to his murmured 'I love you's'.
He gave me the most refreshing feeling of warmth and security and... love.
I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it. To hold his hand or feel his arms around me, just for one last time.
And now I can just feel the tears welling up and could just die...
...but that would be too easy. I mourn him, but if I died, who would be left to mourn me?
There isn't much I can do. I could try to forget him... but then I know I could never forget. His voice, his smile, his tears... his warmth. They all seem to fresh in my mind, even though its been over a month now...
I could put a bullet through my teeth, but who would ever find the body? Not him... Not Yuki...
The only option I have it to change into my set of our matching pajamas before I go to bed, say the smallest prayer, and looking at his picture, say,
"I love you. I could never say it when you were alive, but its always been true."
And the salt from the tears would beginto sting my eyes and I would drop to my knees with my hands clasped tight together over my head.
"And I hate myself for it," I would say, "I hate myself more and more in every moment that passes. I'm so stupid! And so... sorry. Sorry that I was so stubborn and foolish. Sorry that I'm not worth all the love and care you gave me. And sorry I wasn't man enough to say howI feel. Yuki, I love you. Good night."
NS: AHHHH! IT LOOKED SO MUCH LONGER ON PAPER! :vein: Ah well. I just need to get this mess done, I suppose...
But still, only a little more and I'll have the fic done! Aren't you excited? And those of you who read (or at least hit) every chapter... the cyber food of your choice to the lot of you.
XOXO