A/N: Sorry this took so long guys. Between work and my sudden love for Quicksilver, it was slow goings. But I'm back!
A/N2: Special thanks to my lovely beta and real life bestie for taking a look!
It was a snowy and frigid morning when Darcy walked out into the courtyard. Light snow began in the early hours of the morning. Not much had accumulated but in the past few minutes, the flakes became fatter. Darcy worried that they wouldn't make it out of Asgard but she had been assured that they would trudge on as much as they could. Hopefully, if they made good time, they'd be able to beat the oncoming storm.
Only a handful lined up to say goodbye to the advisors and Darcy was relieved for this. For her it was symbolic. Not many friendly faces were left anymore and she didn't want to look at the all that were left, pleased at her downfall. Perhaps it was for the best in the end. Loki was destined to unite nations and Darcy was meant to live out her life in Midgard. Bitterness soured her mouth at the thought, making her nose scrunch in disgust. Thankfully, her eyes no longer filled with tears. She'd shed all the tears she could last night. Bitter, heaving sobs into the morning light until her body was spent and there was absolutely nothing left, eyes dried out and red.
Loki did not visit her and she was glad. He was now the only thing keeping her in Asgard but even that was no longer tempting. To be completely honest, Darcy was tired of crying, of feeling helpless and used. So she promised herself that she would no longer do so. It would be easier, now that she was leaving with no intention of coming back. Darcy would not stand around as Loki married another woman. To let her heart break again and again until it was only dust. One could only break so often until the pieces refused to piece together again. She had to heal and so did Loki.
Although Darcy told herself this over and over, a whisper still taunted her. Her actions were nothing more than a coward but Darcy wondered if her circumstances allowed her to be anything other than that? Perhaps when the spring finally came, she would take up Heidrek's offer and visit him. Thoughts on her father's health still brought on a slight headache but Darcy must consider the worst. If she and her sisters were left orphans there wouldn't be much to hold them to Midgard. As overwhelming as her sisters would be to Heidrek, she knew that he would welcome them with a tight smile and amusement in his eyes.
And surely, Jane would understand. Though she would certain to have fits once she read Darcy's letter. Yet what could Darcy do? She had to take care of her sisters. It was time to pull her head out of the clouds, out of fancy tea parties and ridiculous hairstyles. All of it had been fun while it lasted but Darcy was not a court woman. She missed having the grass under her toes and the sun shining down on her simple dresses. It was actually a rather exciting prospect to not have to dress in a tall corset every day. A painful clench to her chest reminded Darcy that she wanted to share all of that with Loki.
Nothing short of a miracle would change that.
Swallowing her thoughts, Darcy said goodbye to Sif and the Warriors Three. Fandral and Hogun offered stoic farewells but Sif and Volstagg both engulfed her in tight hugs with demands of constant letters once she reached home. Volstagg even suggested Darcy bring her sisters on her return to Asgard, claiming they would all have fun and always had a place to stay with his family, as humble as his dwelling may be. No longer caring about propriety, Darcy let herself be swept away in the warmth. Even the Baroness Hariasa set propriety aside and pulled Darcy into a hug.
Frigga and Odin offered warm goodbyes of their own. Frigga took Darcy's hand into both of hers and offered a prayer that her father would recover. Sadness shimmered in her eyes, filled with empathy and regret. If Darcy had any tears left, a few would have fallen.
Loki was not present, a fact that both killed and eased Darcy. So she descended to the final carriage that would carry her and two other advisors. Just as she prepared to climb the stairs, Darcy looked back to take in one final image of the castle. Beautiful and imposing all at one. A beacon for the rich and threat to enemies. Home for a moment. Just as Darcy turned back to the carriage, a commotion disrupted the peace.
The small group gathered began to part with grumbles as Loki broke though. His breath came out in large white puffs and Darcy's heart soared, watching him dash through the crowd. Grumbles gave way to shocked silence as Loki stopped in front of her and bowed deeply, taking Darcy's hand in his and placing a kiss on her knuckles. Heart pounding wildly in her chest, Darcy clutched onto the small bundle that he pushed into her palm.
Gulping a lungful of cold air, Darcy looked down at Loki. No words were spoken between them but Loki did glance up at her. His eyes were rueful but the lines in his face appeared determined. The move was bold. To some, it would appear to be a rather vocal declaration but none of that mattered to Darcy. Tears prickled her eyes. She held them back. A small shuddering gasp left her throat but that was all she let herself offer. Tightening the grasp on the bundle in her hand in order to feel out what was hidden, Darcy realised it was a ring inside fabric. After watching her eyes widen, Loki stood up.
Darcy assumed he would step backwards but Loki surprised her again. Keeping her hand in his, Loki used the other to reach towards her arms. He found the handkerchief she often had stored in her sleeve and slowly pulled it out. It was a rather recent one of Darcy's, lined with colorful embroidery of her favorite flowers. Not entirely complete, she had planned on using it as a way to pass time on the ride. Still, she knew what Loki was suggesting. If she wanted to finish it, she had to come back and get it. Realization that she had no real intention of coming back finally hit her and Darcy's eyes welled with another wave of tears. Grasping onto all of her strength, she held them back again.
Loki let go of her hand, swallowing back emotions of his own. Clutching the handkerchief, he placed both hands behind his back. Although he did not want her to leave, he would do nothing to stop her but a bold statement had been made. All around them, hushed whispered filled the air but Darcy couldn't look away from the man in front of her.
Taking one final large breath of Asgardian air, Darcy nodded to Loki and climbed into the carriage. She did not look back to see the final waves or shocked expressions of the court or even the King and Queen. The occupants in the carriage were intrigued but too well mannered to ask questions. From their side-eyed glances, it was likely they assumed this was an elaborate farewell to a mistress. Such assumptions would normally annoy her but she wouldn't return. Technically, it didn't matter anymore. A small niggling part of Darcy wished it did.
With a thud, the door shut and after a jolt, the journey back to Midgard began. Even as the curiosity ate at her, Darcy kept the bundle helded in her hand, refusing to look down as it heated with sweat and anticipation. Only when they stopped to move some fallen trees and the advisors stretched their legs did Darcy dare reveal the token.
The fabric was one of Loki's well-loved handkerchiefs. Along the edges was an intricate drawn thread scallop. Each corner held a different detail: the initials LO, a ram which was a symbol of the Asgard royal family, encircling snakes and a bee. Bees were Frigga's choice of creature to embroider and Darcy instinctively knew this exquisite piece was created by the Queen. If having one of Loki's cherished gifts from his mother wasn't enough to bring a pang to her heart, the ring held in the middle pushed her over.
It was only a simple gold ring with not much embellishment but along the inside was engraved: Our time will come.
Try as she might, Darcy couldn't stop a few tears from slipping down her face. Using the handkerchief to wipe them away, she caught a scent of Loki from the fabric and a few more tears escaped before she stifled the urge completely. Slipping the ring onto her fourth finger of her left hand, Darcy felt a shiver run down her spine at the realization that it fit perfectly. She stuffed the handkerchief into her sleeve. With a prayer that there would be no more delays, she lay her head against the carriage wall. In her heart, she knew Loki was asking her to wait. For what, she wasn't entirely sure. There was no conceivable way for the stars to align perfectly, at least in Darcy's eyes. Despite that, she had hope that Loki would find a way. He always did. Even if Darcy knew it was all hopeless, she allowed a seed to be planted in her heart. She just prayed she had the strength when the time came for it to blossom.
Five days after Darcy left, Princess Kadem and her large accompaniment arrived. Heavy snowfall delayed the envoy but they had persisted and still made good time. Odin was pleased that his future daughter-in-law arrived without much damage, so much so that no questions were asked over Loki's display at Darcy's leaving. Loki assumed this was because Darcy no longer posed a threat to Odin. While being right under his nose would have annoyed him, quite frankly, she was now gone. Although there were rumours around court over the exact nature of Loki's relationship, there had always been a few unsavory ones floating around so that wasn't of much consequence.
Though with the arrival of another royal, the court was abuzz once again. Now their intrigued was caught by the exotic Princess. Loki could already hear the poisonous whispers, likely started by Sigyn. Kadem was too dark, she was too quiet or she didn't show enough interest in the ways Asgard court was run. All were delightfully scandalized by her choice of clothing because she preferred the Muspelhiem fashions over Asgard. This included wearing flowing trousers underneath her dresses which ended well above her ankles. Despite all this, she didn't care a wit over what they whispered and that piqued Loki's curiosity.
Obviously, he did not intend to marry her but she was intriguing. There was a certain air about her that had not been captured in her portrait. Loki recognised it easily. She was an intelligent woman who lived in a world where her qualities weren't necessarily appreciated. Although she feigned inability to speak a common language with Asgardians, Loki could tell she knew exactly what everyone was saying. Particularly the snickers of Sigyn and her followers. It was in the way she rolled her eyes ever so slightly or would share knowing smirks with her own ladies-in-waiting. This was a woman who knew how to play the court games but had grown bored of it. She would only attack when she felt it was absolutely necessary. Until then, she was lying in wait, accumulating ammunition along the way.
As fascinating as the nuances of court life had become, it still did not shadow the fact that Loki was caught in the midst of it. He wanted to follow Darcy but the snow made it nearly impossible now. Until the snow let up, there wasn't much chance of a lone horseman surviving who wished to be discrete and it hadn't stop snowing since Darcy left. The ring he gave her stated that their time would eventually come but the longer Darcy was away, the dimmer Loki's hope burned. The grand plan he created wasn't much more than following her to elope. With an envoy full of Midgard advisors, what chance did Loki really have in finding Darcy alone? Would she even consider eloping when her father's health was her priority? All of his plans were sound and fury that amounted to nothing.
Rather bitterly, Loki recalled all this on yet another dinner celebrating his impending marriage with Kadem. At this point, he was convinced Odin was simply rubbing it in. As always, Loki was seated next to Kadem. Their conversation was rather stunted with topics limited to basic interests. Kadem appeared as bored as Loki and he couldn't blame her. The only difference tonight was that Sigyn had somehow weaseled her way into the castle and was only a few seats across from Kadem. As she dominated the conversation in that area, she laughed and giggled, sending glances toward Loki who pretended to not notice her at all. He could tell it bothered her.
"Princess Kadem, do you not agree?" Sigyn suddenly asked, pulling Loki out of his sour thoughts. Her tone worried him. She was out to humiliate. Yet instead of fear and confusion, Kadem matched Sigyn's eyes with confidence.
"No, I find your lack of compassion...what word is it? Oh, tedious," stated Kadem with minimal accent, setting down her fork with a clatter. With mouth agape like a fish, Sigyn floundered as the blood drained from her face. "It is boring that you can only make yourself look good by tearing others down. Honestly, I am tired of hearing your voice echoed throughout the court. If you have nothing of worth to say, I suggest you stop talking."
"I...how dare-"
"I am a Princess from a country that I have heard you call backwards. The fact that Odin still lets you into the court shows that he pities you and his allegiance to your husband is only that of friendship. So when you decide to laugh over my ugly dark skin or claim that I am a 'barbarian', I hope you think well and hard over it because I do not tolerate such impertinence. If there is a snake in one's ranks, it is best to cut off its head. Do not give me any more reason to do that with you," Kadem announced, voice resonant and clear.
All around them, conversation died off. Everyone was riveted over the interaction. Many were rather gleeful and Loki couldn't help but note quite of few of them were supposedly Sigyn's closest friends. As Sigyn continued to search for a witty comeback, Kadem stood up. Her ever present personal guard was at her side at once, pulling out her chair and accompanying Kadem as she stalked off. It was a rather loud proclamation and one that Sigyn's reputation may not recover from. The Vazir thought the Princess was a perfect specimen of royalty and would obviously push for Odin to take her side for the better of their alignment.
Loki held back a laugh, rather impressed that such a slip of a thing was the one to finally give Sigyn her comeuppance. Around them, scattered whispers broke out until the normal volume of conversation resumed. In silence, Sigyn's lip trembled until a tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away angrily, tossing down her fork hard enough that it bounced across the table and landed in some potatoes. Holding back a scream, she pushed back her chair and ran off, heels clacking angrily against the marble floors.
Deciding that if he did indeed have to be married off in a political alliance, at least it was with a woman who could stand her own ground, Loki stood up and followed Kadem. He wasn't entirely sure what he would discuss with her but he sure that she was probably a much better conversationalist than she originally wanted him to believe. Perhaps he should simply make the best of a terrible situation. It was very possible that Kadem's disinterest with Loki was because she did not want to marry him either. In that way, they were well matched.
Heading down a hall, Loki strained to hear any sign of Kadem. A rant in Muspelheim tongue caught his attention along with the soft clinking of chainmail and he followed it. Rounding a corner, Loki slowed as he saw Kadem's back, fleeing from her guard and muttering all the way. Her guard attempted to soothe her but it didn't calm the rage. The bearded guard always wore black with a tunic of silver chainmail and a large, wide belt around his middle holding a number of weapons. Today, he had decided to not wear a helmet, choosing instead to wrap his hair in a red strip of cloth with gold trim. For some reason, Loki had not noticed until now that it matched Kadem's red dress which was richly embroidered in gold.
Now waving an arm, Kadem said something that even Loki found amusing. Although he was a little rusty in their language, he was sure Kadem said the women of court could make clucking hens look intelligent. Her guard also found it funny and with a chuckle he reached out, grabbing her waist and pulling her close. Without reluctance, Kadem allowed her guard to gather her into his arms as he whispered something sweet into her ear, making her melt.
The familiar embrace was obviously one of many. Kadem spun in his arms, tugging him down for a kiss but she caught sight of Loki and gasped. As her entire body froze, her guard turned and stepped forward, shielding her from view. Standing tall, he let his arms sit at his sides and bowed his head respectfully towards Loki. Not only was he protecting Kadem physically but he was willing to take on all punishment for their actions. All three of them stood in silence but Kadem was the first to break it when she moved to stand next to her guard.
"Her name is Darcy, is it not?" Kadem asked and it was the last thing Loki expected her to say. His expression obviously suggested as much. "The castle has been buzzing about you and her. You exchanged tokens."
"Yes, her name is Darcy. Darcy Lewis," Loki nodded. Kadem relaxed, taking her guard's hand his hers and lacing their fingers.
"His name is Izzet Yilmaz," said Kadem proudly, introducing her guard and from the way she looked at him, the love of her life.
The welcome that greeted Darcy was warm and loud. Before she could get both feet through the door, her sisters all pounced on her, engulfing her into a pile of hugs and shrieks. It was a relief after weeks of travel with a large party of men, all obviously wanting to break proprietary and ask her the details of her illicit relationship with Loki. Sometimes, Darcy wondered if men were worse than women when it came to gossip.
She was soon ushered upstairs to her father's room, where he was found sitting in his bed, reading a book. Other than pale skin and his right arm bound and tied in a sling, he appeared in good health. As carefully as she could, Darcy crawled into bed next to him and hugged him. Her sisters followed, lounging at the corners of the bed as Darcy gave them details of her trip in return for learning the circumstances around her father's accident.
On a cool day, Mr. Lewis set off on one of the newer and more skittish horses, Brandywine, in hopes of easing the animal's nature. While in town, a group of young boys hit a ball that landed in front of Brandywine with a child following closely behind it. Obviously, Brandywine did not like this. In an attempt to avoid stomping on the child, Mr. Lewis did his best to calm down the silly beast only to fall backwards when it reared. The fall did Mr. Lewis badly, breaking his arm and bruising the rest of his body. No one else had been hurt though, and that's what mattered to their father.
Despite this, everything in the Lewis household scattered into panic. Caroline, who had been in town and heard the uproar, screamed when she saw her father lying in the dirt, groaning in pain. Truthfully, Mr. Lewis did not remember much of the following week and was constantly in and out of consciousness. Thankfully, a woman well known for her ability to set bones was in town visiting a niece but it didn't change the fact the girls did not know much about running the farm the way their father did. Letters had been sent to Darcy pleading to come back but the girls appeared to have been able to stand their own once the dust settled and they realised there were jobs that needed to get done.
Darcy was proud of her sisters and the good health her father was in. His bone should be fully healed within the next week and all he had to do now was work back the strength he had lost. In the next few days though, it became apparent to Darcy that the Lewis household had done so well in her absence that she didn't appear to be needed at all. Tensions ran high between Darcy and her sisters, not helped by the fact that Darcy stayed tight lipped about all the excitement in Asgard. With it only being halfway through the winter, Darcy found herself hiding from her sisters as best as she could when they were stuck in the house. Two weeks into her return, Darcy missed Asgard- Loki and Jane in particular. She didn't belong in Asgard but it also seemed she no longer belonged at home.
On a rather frigid day, Darcy's trunks finally made their way back to her. She watched as her sisters gleefully tore through the trunks, marvelling at the smooth silks, delicate embroidery and beautiful jewels.
"Oh this is simply unfair. I want to live in court," pouted Felicity, twirling around with the infamous green floral dress pressed to her chest. "If I had been asked to be a lady-in-waiting, I would have certainly lived life to the fullest. Unlike Darcy."
"Felicity, watch your manners," Caroline hissed but Felicity only shrugged. Pain shot through Darcy's chest followed quickly by anger.
"You would have made an utter fool of yourself," countered Darcy, earning her a glare from her youngest sister. Standing tall, Felicity bunched the dress between her hands before throwing it to the ground and stepping on it. Taking a deep breath and standing up, Darcy placed her embroidery aside although she wanted to toss it at her sister's head.
"No, I would have behaved properly. I would be the jewel at court and not come back running with my tail between my legs, moaning about how difficult it was to live in luxury," Felicity shouted, stamping her foot. "It's not fair. You never asked us to join you. Not once!"
"I did it to protect you. I didn't want you to became the latest scandal of the court and tossed away like last year's fashions."
"That isn't your choice to make. You take the fun out of everything! Why don't you just join a nunnery. You'd have more fun there and finally get out of our hairs for good!"
Both sisters stepped closer until they were shouting right in each other's faces. Tears stung their eyes as Caroline and Esther pleaded for them to stop. It only fueled the anger. Felicity was the first to attack by pushing Darcy. After that, they tumbled onto the ground, pulling hair and scratching. Try as they might, Caroline and Esther couldn't tear the fighting sisters apart.
"What is going on?" commanded Mr. Lewis. His voice cut through the shouts, causing Darcy and Felicity to freeze. Silence filled the room as they slowly pulled away, doing their best to straighten their attire and check for any visible damage.
"The two of you will cease this nonsense immediately. Darcy, follow me," Mr. Lewis ordered solemnly, turning and walking out of the drawing room. With a huff, Darcy followed him into his study, closing the door on her way in. She waited impatiently in the middle of the room, with her arms behind her back as he settled down into his chair. He waited a long moment before speaking, wanting her to stew in her own mind. It made her feel like a child again. Years ago, he'd often take the girls to his study for reprimanding if they misbehaved. Though this time, there was no anger in his face, just sympathy.
"Darcy, since you have been back, you roam around listlessly, looking like a lost lamb. Now this fight with Felicity. What is the matter?"
"She started it," insisted Darcy but shrunk when her father rose an unimpressed brow her way.
"You are not yourself. We all see it. Something changed you for worse. You refuse to talk to your sisters and me about your time in Asgard. I am regretting now more than ever letting you go. Are you truly ashamed you never found a husband? My love for you will never be shadowed by your inability to find a match."
Waves of shame coursed through Darcy, nausea overcoming her as her hands tightened into fists. Before, she had told her sisters everything and heard all in return. Darcy wished her mother was there to offer words of advice, to tell her how to reconnect with her family but also what to do about Loki. But then Darcy realised that her father was there and so were her sisters. It used to be all the love and encouragement she needed to get through life.
Darcy walked to her father, fell to her knees and lay her head on his knee. When his hand patted her head in encouragement, she finally found the courage to talk. In moments, everything fell out. Her relationship with Loki, Heidrek and Meili, the horrible whispers of court, Dagr's attempts at the balls and even her sorrow over leaving Jane behind. The more Darcy admitted, the lighter the weight on her shoulders felt until there was nothing left but the tears streaming down her face.
"I feel as if I have failed," Darcy sobbed.
"Nonsense," Mr. Lewis assured her, running his fingers through her hair.
"But I have," insisted Darcy. Around her neck on a long chain, she wore Loki's ring and she pulled it out from under her dress to stroke at it with her thumb. "I could have easily found a husband, helped the family but instead I fell in love with a man I can never be with. I wasted money on silly frivolous things to live in a court that would never accept me. I should have been here with you."
Just as Mr. Lewis sought more reassurances, the door to the study burst open and all three sisters ran in. In a flurry of skirts and a mass of limbs, they all fell to wrap themselves around Darcy. It almost knocked her over but even then, they lifted her back up and wiped away her tears. The weight around her made Darcy feel as if her mother was the one holding her.
"Oh Darcy, please forgive me!" Felicity begged. "That Sigyn is a most terrible woman. How could she say those things about you?"
"You will find your prince one day! Do not be discouraged!" Esther added as Mr. Lewis chuckled at the group of girls at his feet.
"See Darcy, you have nothing to fear," he assured her.
"You should have brought us to Asgard with you," Caroline smiled. "We could have unleashed Felicity on Sigyn."
"If you ask me, Loki does not deserve you!" Esther claimed, examining the ring around Darcy's neck. "He should have just ran off with you when he had the chance."
"Now girls, I will not have you suggest that elopement is the best solution," Mr. Lewis frowned.
"But you and mama eloped!" pouted Felicity.
"Yes and it took her death before our families forgave us," Mr. Lewis reminded them. "I will not have the same thing happen to you girls."
"Yes papa," all the girls intoned, hoping to prevent the sermon they knew would follow if they did not agree. Placated for the moment, Mr. Lewis smiled upon them. Felicity was the first to stand up, pulling Darcy with her.
"Oh Darcy, just wait until you go back! We will all travel with you and then what will those horrid women do? I am certain they were only jealous of you. All those men falling in love with you! It is because those Asgardian women do not know how to have fun like us ladies in Midgard," Felicity insisted, making Darcy laugh at the audacity. She sometimes wished life were as simple as Felicity claimed it to be. Just as Darcy began to protest, Felicity insisted they hear more stories of Asgard and Jane. This time, Darcy found herself happily obliging as they dragged her back into the drawing room with demands to know the detail of every piece sitting in the trunks.