BONUS: TURBO'S POV

Stop that! Stop that, all of you guys! Yeah, YOU, I'm talking to you, the person on the other side of this computer monitor.

I do NOT have a..."crush"...on Blondie. What kind of stupid word is that anyway, you don't literally crush the person, otherwise they would be nothing but a squishy flat dead thing. So just shut up. Shut up now.

Okay I think she's cute but that's IT. She doesn't seem to think she is sometimes but...

ANYWAY...

Since I'm stuck here in the apartment AGAIN by myself (Blondie's at work), I'm going to force you guys to stay here with me. Hehe. She's not doing anything important you guys want to read about anyway.

So I decided to do extra homework out of boredom. Okay not really, since I'm not gonna write it down to where Blondie can read it. I'm gonna wait 'til she assigns it so that way I'll already know how the movie goes so I won't have to watch it later! Get it?

I'm so smart, I amaze myself sometimes.

Anywho, so this is called...Lady and the Tramp. Don't think it's appropriate to have the word "tramp" in a kids movie but I guess its better than watching a kid grow high from mushrooms and talk to a smoking caterpillar. So far nothing's happening except this woman gets a little puppy for Christmas from her husband and names her Lady.

Aww, what a cute puppy...

Ahem.

So Lady is already showing signs of being spoiled rotten as she doesn't want to be alone at night and shut up in the kitchen, whining to come upstairs where her owners are at. Ha, I know the feeling kid. At least it's not thunderstorming or you really WOULD be wanting to go upstairs and share a bed. I hope Blondie didn't mind those two times I snuck in the bed; she hasn't exactly thrown me out yet...not that I like getting in the bed or anything.

So anyway Lady wins the battle for the bed and she grows up into a spoiled rotten adult. She spends her days like any other dog by fetching the paper, digging things up, and chasing rats. She kinda screws this stuff up sometimes but she thinks she's being helpful. At least she has an upbeat personality, she seems pretty spunky. So on this particular day she gets her very first collar and license tag, which in this world is kind of like the mark of royalty. If a dog has one of these, its like getting the stamp of approval from the other dogs in the neighborhood and you are welcome to be part of the snooty snob club.

I think this is supposed to represent the higher members of society in the human world, like...what are they called? Those really rich famous people that go to prestigious events and stuff and are only famous for being rich and junk? Like that stupid Gossip Girl show that I watched ONE EPISODE of because it was so stupid and those kids are total rich brats.

I'm glad I didn't end up at some rich snooty person's house when I first came to the Real World. I mean, yeah, I'd rather live in a big house of course but it's not bad living here with Blondie. She treats me pretty decent even though I think I drive her nuts sometimes. Anyone else probably would've already strangled me.

You know I feel bad that time I tried to choke her to death but I was in a really dark part of my mind that day. She freakin' threw me to the wolves! And she said she hated me. That hurt my feelings. I don't normally care if people hate me, since I'm a villain and all that, but that really did hurt my feelings. But then she apologized and rescued me and stuff so I guess we're cool now.

Oh right, the movie.

So anyway, she shows off her collar and tags to these two older male dogs named Jock and Trusty. The latter doesn't have a sense of smell anymore, which is sad because he used to be a police dog and track criminals down but now he can't even do that anymore. I don't know what I'd do if I suddenly lost the ability to drive. That would be miserable. I love my car. And that was pretty nice of Blondie to stick up for me that time that Dodge dealership guy was talking smack about me. I didn't think she cared THAT much, since she tends to gripe at me a good bit but not all the time.

Sorry I keep getting sidetracked.

Now we're finally meeting the Tramp character, who is a pretty upbeat guy himself who lives as a stray. He has complete freedom and goes wherever he wants and does whatever he wants. Pretty cool way to live. Aww look more puppies!

Ahem...

So the Tramp is running around being his tramp-tastic self (haha) and he meets up with two of his buddies who were caught by the dogcatcher and rescues them. Apparently, the Tramp is a notorious stray who always evades getting caught and always gives the dogcatchers the slip. Pretty slick, dog. He ends up in Lady's neighborhood (haha "Snob Hill") and makes commentary on how everyone is on a leash and in a fenced yard, never being free like he is.

He has a point but how "free" are you really when you are constantly evading the law and having to watch your back all the time? At least with an owner, you're properly cared for and don't have to worry about stuff. At the same time, society CAN be a little restricting with its rules and social graces and that kinda junk.

I like that I have a little leg room around here, sure Blondie can keep a tight leash but at least I'm not running around trying to fend for myself in a world I'm not familiar with. And she lets me do stuff I want to do sometimes. Like bungee jumping (that was hilarious) and helping me get a place to drive around as fast as I want.

Anyway, so in the meantime Lady has been having some problems at home. Her owners are acting weird and they aren't giving her as much attention and the woman owner even spanked her. She's never been spanked before and this is all confusing for her. I understand how that feels...not getting spanked of course...I meant like having your world suddenly change. Not that I remember much about my own limited backstory, but I remember not appreciating being rejected by players when the played RoadBlasters and then again when my royal reign at Sugar Rush was threatened. Life is freakin' confusing sometimes.

The deal here happens to be that the owners are going to have a baby and they are just being cautious about the soon-to-be mom not stressing herself out and doing strenuous things. Lady, being a younger dog, has no idea what a baby is and asks her two older friends about it. That's when the Tramp finally comes back into the picture and he overhears her question.

I guess his name is "Tramp" for a reason and true to his name he happens to think Lady is really cute. So he swaggers up and takes control of the scene, saying that babies are nothing but trouble and starts telling her about how much different her life is going to be...in a negative way. Err...I don't think women like to hear stuff like that. Blondie sure doesn't. Anyway, he's kinda freaking her out saying that she's not going to get her fancy dinners or get to do anything fun anymore and eventually get thrown out in the doghouse. Yeah, that's a real smooth way to get a chick, pal.

Not that I would know how to get one. Obviously.

Like it would even work anyway. I'm a cartoon character, for Walt's sake. And she's weird about that guy stuff anyway. I don't know what her deal is but I think the idea of even having a boyfriend freaks her out. Even though at the same time she worries about what guys think of her. Girls are so weird! Especially HER.

Um...

Anyway back to the movie...Jock and Trusty are mad that the Tramp made Lady all scared about her potential future and they don't seem to like him anyway because he's a homeless mutt. It's kind of like how high society people don't like poor people I guess. Like they don't have the proper "breeding", per se. Kinda rude. It's like us villains getting cast out for "rehab" just because we were written to be bad. It's not OUR fault we were written that way. Give us a break. Blondie seems to like villains anyway, thank Walt...not that I care.

So the months fly by and the baby is here. Lady is still curious as to what a baby is exactly since no one ever gave her a straight answer earlier. She still thinks it's this horrible thing that will make her life miserable (thanks to the Tramp) even though all the humans seem happy about it. Well, she finally gets her answer and turns out everything is going to be just fine. The owners let her see the baby and she falls in love with it and becomes determined to keep it safe from danger. I guess that's supposed to symbolize her "growing up" and becoming more like an adult, as I'm pretty sure she's going to be a mom herself one day if the back of this dvd cover has anything to say about it.

And then the perfect world comes to a halt when this old bitty named Aunt Sarah shows up with her two cats to babysit for a few days while the owners go out of town. Dang, this woman is crazy. She is very talkative and doesn't let the owners get a word in edgewise, practically kicking them out the door. Even Lady is shut out of the house and when she tries to see the baby again, Aunt Sarah throws her out and blames her for making the baby cry when it was HER loud mouth that did it!

So now Lady knows how it feels to be rejected and it hurts her feelings that she can't see the baby. The two cats pop out and tear the house apart, getting into trouble, eat the bird, try to eat the fish, and then pretend to be injured to blame Lady for everything. She didn't even do anything! She was being her responsible self and gets blamed for the delinquents making a mess. I'm glad Kitty doesn't do that stuff, she's very well behaved. In fact, she's sleeping in my lap right now.

I wonder if that's how Blondie felt when she got thrown to the ground that time I was speeding, since it WAS my fault and she's the one that got in trouble. It was kinda funny at the time but she was sure mad about it. She doesn't like cops for some reason, I don't know why. I asked her one time and she got all weird on me and changed the subject. She doesn't like people nagging her about stuff so I just don't bother.

Anyway, so Aunt Sarah apparently just hates dogs and immediately blames Lady for being a terror. She takes her to a pet shop where she tries to put a MUZZLE on her. That is rude, she didn't bite anyone and she didn't do anything wrong! I hate judgmental people. And Aunt Sarah has no right to do that anyway, that isn't her dog and she has no business doing that to her.

Lady naturally freaks out at this because she has never been muzzled before and she bolts out of the store with the leash and muzzle still attached to her. She nearly gets run over a few times and she gets her first taste of culture-shock. She's never been away from her high society neighborhood so being on the streets is rather frightening. Not to mention, she's getting chased by these giant bully dogs that want to beat her up for...I guess trespassing on their turf?

Oh look, there's the Tramp! Oooh fight scene! (*happy face*)

Finally, I watch a Disney movie with some action in it! Dang, he's a good fighter. I've never been in a fight before, I wonder how I would hold up? Not that I want to get in a fight or anything, I'm just curious. Maybe I should go to the gym or something? You guys think I should? And no I'm NOT fat, don't even comment on that. I know I eat a lot of chocolate but I'm NOT fat. Blondie would have me on a diet if that were the case. She cooks pretty okay I guess. Not like her mom, her mom cooks GREAT, but she tries her best.

Back to the movie...okay so the Tramp saved Lady and he feels sorry for her wearing a muzzle and decides to help her get it off. What a gentleman. See, "lower members of society" are good people! I guess Lady knows now how it feels to be on the opposite end of the spectrum, being outcast and being on her own like a stray does. Ha, she's so funny, thinking they have to do everything legal and stuff when the Tramp's just like "screw it". Reminds me of me and Blondie.

They end up at the zoo where they meet this beaver with a hearing problem, and the Tramp smooth-talks him into biting the muzzle off of Lady's face by telling him that it is a device to help build dams with. Ha, what a moron. But hey, it winds up working like a charm.

So instead of taking her home right away, the two of them go for a stroll around town and he tells her how it is to be a stray. Since he doesn't have a home or a family, he can do whatever he wants and he goes to visit different families every day to get fed. Again, it's nice to have freedom but what's the point if you have to beg for scraps? He thinks it's better than being stuck in a yard or a house though but Lady seems to think having a family around to love is better. I think I agree with both of them, if that makes sense.

Speaking of families, that was nice for Blondie to say that I could think of hers as mine. I don't have one at all. I don't know anything about the two other racers in my game because...well they have literally no story to tell so there's nothing there for me to remember. I wonder how they would have acted? Would I have gotten along with them or would we have hated each other? Did they die when TurboTime got unplugged? I'd feel bad if they did even if I didn't know them. I don't like to think that I killed someone.

Anyway, in the movie the Tramp finds this Italian restaurant that he visits alot and introduces the two Italian guys that run the place to Lady. So he's taking her on a date huh? Geez, that means that a no-name prince with a dead girlfriend and a DOG have more experience than me in this type stuff...I mean...pfft, what do I care, it's not like I want to date anyone. Especially Blondie because I DON'T like her like that. At all. Not that there's anything wrong with her, but...

MOVING ON.

They mention something about him bringing a lot of girls there or something like that, and Lady doesn't understand them because of their accents but the Tramp looks pretty nervous about them opening their big mouths around her haha. Dude, it doesn't help your case to keep your past a secret. Look what happened to ME. I tried covering my past up and it got me eaten by a bug, melted in a volcano, and also thrown in prison because of freakin' MICKEY MOUSE claiming that I lied about everything to Blondie when I DIDN'T!

Sorry, that really made me upset. I still can't believe she thought I was lying about everything but then again she DID apologize. I would've been happy to see her except all I had been thinking about for two days in that prison cell was that she supposedly didn't really care about me. I mean, I guess she had to have cared to go through the trouble of coming to rescue me. Probably shouldn't have slapped her while we were there but she was being ridiculous.

Anyway, back to the movie...aww they kissed! Wait, I mean...eww... Well, how should I know what a kiss feels like, I've never had one. I don't know if it's nice or gross. I mean, I guess they're nice since people do them all the time. Not that I want one or anything...

The only thing I've ever had is a hug. You know, Blondie's the first person to ever give me a hug. I didn't really know what the heck she was doing at the time so it was kind of embarrassing for her to suddenly do that but...yeah, hugs are fine. I don't mind them...not that I want one of those either...

So our two new lovebirds (haha they're victims of PUPPY love!) go meandering about town all night and fall in love with each other...

You know I wonder if I would even know what that would feel like if it ever happened to me. I'm not exactly programmed to "like" people. It's difficult to even make friends sometimes. Good thing I got someone like Blondie around that can be stubborn and put up with me. I wonder if she's ever loved anyone. I'm not about to ask because she'll just freak out on me. Like this morning when she said something about me having a "crush" thing on her, that kinda hurt my feelings a little bit. Would it really be that bad?

I mean, if I WERE to have one on her that is. Because I don't. Just sayin' would it really be that bad if I DID?

And like she'd even like me anyway, she likes guys that look like...I dunno, like superheroes. Like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark or someone. I'm on the short side with a gray complexion and glow-in-the-dark yellow eyes. I personally don't think I look bad, but to other people I'm...well, odd. Yeah, sure people sometimes come up and ask for autographs and pictures because they're fans of mine, and I eat that up like there's no tomorrow. But you don't see me getting chicks' phone numbers and asked out or whatever. Not that I'd want to go with someone that just "likes" me because I'm somewhat famous, but still it would be kind of nice I guess.

ANYWAY...

So the new couple wakes up and the Tramp asks Lady to travel the world with him and be free of her high society life. She seems interested except that she will miss her family and that she has to do her job and watch over the baby. He's rather disappointed in this but offers to take her home anyway. Gah, that sucks. I mean, the guy probably spent his whole life just wandering around flirting with anything that moved and he finally finds this ONE chick that he really likes and she doesn't want to be with him right now. Ouch.

That's kind of scary, letting your feelings be known and proposing this idea to run off together only get to shot down. That would suck if it happened to me...not that I'd be doing that anyway.

Unfortunately, they end up taking a detour when they pass a chicken coop and the Tramp wants Lady to break out of her shell and have some random illegal fun by chasing the chickens. Ha, this sooo reminds me of...never mind.

The two of them are now on the run from the law and Lady gets captured by the dogcatcher but the Tramp doesn't notice this and keeps on running. By the time he figures it out, he has no clue where she got off to. In his defense, he does go to try and look for her but it's too late. She ends up in the pound which is like...prison. Oh dear Walt, we're going through this now? She ends up in puppy prison and, holy geez they killed a dog! Yeah, they just killed one of the dogs because no one came to claim him and no one adopted him.

Man, I'm glad Disney Prison doesn't operate that way. What if I'd never gotten out? Would I have rotted to death or been executed? Dying isn't fun, people. Getting eaten alive or burnt to a crisp SUCKS.

So the pound is where the lowest of the lower society goes when they are caught. They're considered the scum of the universe and Lady feels rather fish-out-of-water here. Thankfully she has a collar with tags so they can call her house to get her owners to get her. Or rather Aunt Sarah (who started this whole mess) to get her. While at the pound, Lady learns about all of her new boyfriend's previous girlfriends and she thinks that he was just using her for a one-night stand type thing.

Gee, talk about trust issues. She hears a bunch of people talk smack about some guy that's been nothing but nice to her and she immediately believes THEM. Huh, doesn't THAT sound familiar? I swear, Blondie has the worst problem with trusting people, I have no idea where that came from, it's not like I know her backstory all that well since she's clammed up but geez...

So Aunt Sarah comes to get Lady and she gets chained up outside. She gets proposed to by her older dog friends for whatever reason and the Tramp shows up with a gift to help mend things. Of course, Jock and Trusty think he's a jerk for getting her in the pound and he starts apologizing about it, saying that he didn't even know until much later, which is the truth. Lady doesn't believe him and tells him to get lost and never come back because she believes whatever everyone else said...

This is eerily mirroring my life...not even joking.

So he leaves broken-hearted and that's when the rat shows up. Yeah, an evil dirty rat (I'll call him Mickey) shows up and a thunderstorm happens and the rat sneaks into the baby's room. Lady freaks out and starts barking to wake Aunt Sarah up so she will check on the baby but the stupid woman thinks she's just being a dumb barking dog and slams her window shut. Luckily, the Tramp hadn't gone too far and he hears Lady freaking out and comes back, where she tells him where the baby's room is so he can take care of Mickey the Rat.

Now I gotta say, even though this guy thinks he has no use for humans and doesn't even acts like he cares for them, here he is willingly going into a house to save a baby. And that's AFTER he just got told off by his new girlfriend about being a selfish cad. Ha, see there, us bottom-feeders are the best out there! He kills Mickey and Lady finally busts free of her chain and the two of them have this little reunion scene, right before Aunt Sarah FINALLY shows up and blames it all on them...yeah, she doesn't even see Mickey the rat, ignores Lady trying to show it to her, locks them up in separate rooms and calls the dogcatcher to come get the Tramp.

Gah, what the heck, this woman is really getting on my nerves. Talk about short-sighted. I mean, yeah, the baby-bed fell over and the baby cried and stuff but dang it's better than him getting bit by a RAT. But no, she jumps to conclusions and blames the dogs AGAIN. The dogcatcher takes the Tramp away who is obviously limping because he got bit and Lady's snob friends say he deserved it but at the same time can't believe that he would hurt a child. I hope one day people say that about me, that they wouldn't believe I'd hurt someone but I doubt it.

The owners FINALLY come home and get worried about all of this ruckus. They let Lady out and act like normal people and listen to her and they find the dead Mickey and everyone figures out what happened. This all would've been settled if they had just listened to her in the first place. But people don't know how to listen. Like me. I don't know how to listen sometimes. Hehe.

Jock and Trusty feel like jerks for accusing the Tramp for being so dastardly and they decide to track down the dogcatcher wagon. Trusty miraculously regains his sense of smell and they manage to get the wagon to stop, unfortunately it falls over in the process. Lady and her people show up and she reunites with her boyfriend only the happiness doesn't last long because Trusty got really bad hurt from the wagon.

I wonder if anyone would feel bad if I got hurt? Well, Blondie cared when I got sick that one time...ahem.

WELL, now some time has passed and Lady and the Tramp are living together with their family of puppies. He even has a collar with tags, having been deemed worthy enough to join the ranks of high society for his heroic act in saving the baby. So I guess he figured out that love and family is more important than being on his own and fending for himself on the streets, being truly happy now. I hope something like that happens to me one day...not that it's like a dream of mine or nothing, I mean it would be NICE I guess...

Gee, that was a sweet movie. I rather liked that one. I don't think I disliked any of it except for that stupid aunt being so rude.

Okay I'm gonna say bye for now, guys. Thanks for watching that movie with me. Oh and we're going to Disney World again soon (yuck) because of my stupid "probation". Not sure what I have to do as far as that goes, but at least Blondie's going with me so it won't be too bad...I mean, not that she makes the trip any better or anything, I just don't want to go alone...that doesn't mean I'm a wuss either. I wonder if she likes all the other Disney characters as much as me. I'm kinda curious who her favorite was before I showed up.

Ha, yeah I'm her favorite. She's told me plenty times. It's always nice to hear that. Not because it's HER saying it but...

You know what, this entire conversation we just had never happened. Hear me? NEVER HAPPENED. I find out you told Blondie anything I just said, I will "go Turbo" on YOU. Yeah, I will ruin you. RUIN you.

And why are you even bothering me anyway? Go bother Blondie, leave me alone.

I'm going to go smother myself in my fluffy pillows now.