A/N: Thank you all so much for the overwhelming feedback! you really make me want to update faster. Slight detour with this chapter but I think you'll get some answers that you want. I couldn't pass up this opportunity. I was going to save a lot of it but it seems to work well this way. Kinda fluffy, kinda sad at times but I like this chapter and i'm happy to share it with you earlier rather than later. Thanks to Tweedledeedum for bouncing ideas with me and approving this chapter.
Q&A:
Guest Asked: So I take it they'll be sneaking around Nicky then?
FQ: You got it!, but it can't all be fun and games. You'll see.
Danielle Asked: Where do they stand? They're not ignoring it, haven't talked it out yet but whatever it is, it's going on under the nose of Nate. Nothing ever changes does it?
FQ: They're under the impression this "phase" won't last forever.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS
By: Maurice Chevalier
From: Gigi
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
PRESENT
Blair woke in her bed to the sound of Dan's alarm going off. She kissed him gently then reached over him to grab the iphone. She noticed he had a message from Gillian. Instantly she felt terrible. She didn't know why she never thought of Gillian over this past week. "Dan," she said quietly, lulling him from sleep. "Gillian is texting you," she spoke softly.
"Just leave it," he stretched, his hand ran over her arm affectionately.
"No," she forced the phone into his hand. "I'm not the other woman. I'm not," she shook her head. "We can't just,..." she covered her eyes with her hands.
"You're not..." he sat up straight and took a deep breath.
"Dan, what are we doing?" her voice was pained and confused.
"I broke up with Gillian. I already broke up with her," he said quickly trying to soothe Blair's guilt.
"Then why is she texting you..." she pulled from him uncomfortably.
"We're just friends right now. I told her I need to be alone and she understands. She's just letting me know that she finished reading one of my old novels," he pressed his forehead against hers. "I'm not with her,"
Nina was shocked to hear what Dan and Blair had been up to the last two weeks.
"You were supposed to fix your relationship before you started having sex!" she scolded her friend. "This is totally ass-backwards!" she set her tea cup down on the coffee-shop table.
"I know! I know!" Blair covered her eyes and tried to stop smiling, "But he smells like Calvin Klein," she gushed, "and home," she thought for a minute. "He's so cute," she smirked.
"You sound like a tween,"
"I don't care. I had five orgasms this week that I didn't have to give myself," she brought her tea cup to her lips.
"But you haven't talked at all?"
"Of course we talk. Dan never stops talking..."
"About your relationship and what you're doing?"
"We said that we're going to figure things out,"
"And have you figured anything out?"
"So far we figured out that we enjoy having sex on the washing machine..." she smirked into her tea cup.
"Maybe you could figure out, if you want to try your relationship again for real? maybe you could figure out when is a good time to tell Nicky..."
"Oh no. No, she's not going to find out," she shook her head. "We are very careful around her," she sipped her tea. "We only do it when she's out for the night which fortunately, has been very frequent this week,"
"So you're going to just have sex for the next seven years and hope she goes away to college without ever finding out?"
"I think it's possible to keep an emotional relationship separate from a physical relationship..." she said simply.
Nina blinked at her in confusion. "That makes no sense. You're talking about having a physical and emotional relationship with the same person! it doesn't matter that you separate the times and places you're still fucking him and having your cake too,"
"That's not how it goes,... and I think the sex would be the cake..."
"Whatever," she sipped her tea. "Have your best-friend and eat him too?"
"Perfect!" Blair laughed.
"Speak of the devil," Nina commented as Dan walked into the coffee-shop. Blair leaned up for a kiss, Dan looked tense. "It's fine. I know..." Nina said, Dan then kissed Blair.
"Can we go back to talking about Nicky's birthday party?" Blair changed the topic quickly as she grabbed Dan's hand.
"Seriously? we're not going to talk about this,..." She pointed at both Dan and Blair.
"I think you should entertain the idea of letting me host it at my apartment," Dan said to Blair, completely ignoring Nina.
"Oh I don't think so,..."
"GUYS!" Nina tried to get their attention. "Are you actually giving this a real shot?"
"Blair, please. I'd hire all your people. Let me remind you, I did throw her a party once before..." Dan said.
"Don't dangle that fluke over my head! It was nearly ten years ago!"
"If you let me throw her birthday party this year, i'll give you all her teen years without even asking,"
"GUYS!" Nina yelled again.
"You'll hire Stacey, Angelo and Deacon?"
"Who else?"
XOXOXOXOXOX
"Mummy this one is beautiful!" Nicky expressed with delight as she touched the fabric of a dress. Blair moved closer and pulled the dress from the rack, examining it closely.
"That's my favourite one from our first fall shipment," the store clerk, Lana commented. Nicky beamed that her taste was being praised. Blair continued to stare at the dress.
"While it's very pretty, it's a knock-off of Stella McCartney's fall collection from last year," she placed the dress back on the rack and Nicky continued looking with her skilled eye.
"I heard you're turning ten soon!" Lana spoke to Nicky.
"Mhmm!" she nodded. "Double digits!"
"Ugh, It kills me that she's so grown up," Blair expressed with a frown, then wrapped her arm around her daughter.
"Makes me feel old," Lana huffed. "I remember your mom used to come in here with you in a stroller,"
"I think she was less than a week old the first time I brought her here," Blair reminisced.
"I remember all the ladies surrounding her. It feels like yesterday," Lana chuckled.
"Mummy can we have tea after?" Nicky asked as Blair opened a text message from Dan. She smirked and shook her head at his flirty message.
"Mummy?"
"Hmm? Yes, we'll have high-tea as soon as I decide on a dress," she shoved her phone back in her purse without replying.
"What do you need a dress for?"
"Your birthday party silly girl!"
As Blair held up both white dresses, trying to choose her favourite, a familiar voice distracted her. "Blair?" Gillian's voice rang out through the store. Blair looked up to see the woman she loathed, looking worse than ever. Her hair was messy and there was not a speck of makeup on her face except for the day-old mascara that had yet to be cleaned off.
"Hi," Blair said awkwardly.
"Can we talk for a minute?" Gillian's jaw clenched.
"Umm," Blair looked back to see Nicky talking to Lana and trying on the newest fall shoes they had to offer, "Yeah, what's wrong?" her eyes widened as she took a step closer.
"What do you think you're doing?" she snarled.
"Pardon me?" Blair blinked, her eyebrows raised with annoyance.
"I find it very very interesting that the week Dan tells me he needs some time alone I find pictures on Gossip Girl of the two of you holding hands at Veselka,"
"I didn't realize Dan and I were still so popular,..." Blair smirked looking back at the dress in her hands.
"Ex husbands and wives holding hands does scream scandal doesn't it?" Gillian crossed her arms. Blair tucked her hair behind her ear, looked over her shoulder to make sure her daughter was out of ear-shot. She smiled at Nicky gently before looking back at Gillian. "What do you want me to say to you?" she spoke under her breath.
"You are not right for him. You want different things out of life. You stifle his creativity..." she pleaded.
"I do? how many novels did he write about you?"
"He mentioned on several occasions that being married to you was like being in a prison," she grasped all the ammo she had.
"While I admit our marriage had it's ups and downs, I assure you we never once had a problem with our sex life." Blair had no idea if this was a soft spot for Gillian but she gave it a try knowing her sex life with Patrick was nothing short of awful.
Gillian inhaled sharply once she realized that Dan had been speaking very candidly to this woman. "I know you're only doing this because you don't like me. I know you want to distract him long enough to ruin our chance at a future. Don't lead him on and play with his head just to get your way,"
"Trust me, if I was playing a game,...you'd know,"
"We had plans. And you're ruining everything because selfishly you can't let anyone else have the only constant in your life. Did you know that we talked about having more children?" Blair didn't say anything. "Dan missed out on the pregnancy to birth experience with you,...I could give him that,"
"You'd have to get him to have sex with you again..." Blair rolled her eyes.
Why did you have to start this?" Gillian's eyes narrowed. "Why did you have to stir this all up again?"
"I didn't start anything...he came to me,"
"Because you've damaged him. Set him free, tell him it's over for good and to give up already,"
"Dan is not broken Gillian!," Blair said. "He doesn't spend time with me because i'm some kind of witch that casts spells or concocts potions. He loves me," she said honestly. "For better or worse, in marriage and out of it, he loves me,"
"Well you've given up on him so it's time to quit playing these games and carry on in your separate lives,"
"Our lives are never going to be separate, why can't you wrap your brain around that?"
"All you do is hurt him. You don't support him, he does everything for you and you know that in a few weeks you'll toss him to the side again. Don't do this to him,"
"You think you're really well informed about my relationship with Dan don't you?"
"I'm better for him," Gillian said simply. Blair laughed.
"It's not funny,..."
"It's hilarious," Blair nodded. "You know," she inhaled. "I used to have sympathy for you but now all I have is pity and second-hand embarrassment. He's mine. He'll always be mine. It's entertaining to me that you come here and ask me to leave him alone. He's not asking me to leave him alone, but he asked you to leave him alone,..." she shrugged with a sarcastic smile.
"I can't believe you didn't comprehend a single thing I just said to you," Gillian said through her clenched jaw.
"Gillian have you ever heard the saying, 'he loves me, he loves you not' ? you're confused about which side you fall under..." Blair turned away. "I'll take this one Lana!" she spoke out loud. "Hey Gillian?," Blair bit her lip. "I don't think this is your kind of store, it's kind of expensive..." she held her hand up as if to whisper. Gillian stormed out of the store and Blair rushed to get into a change room as her eyes filled with tears.
"Are you okay?" Lana asked.
"Mhmm!" she nodded biting back tears. "This dress is beautiful," she closed the door behind her.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
YOU'RE INVITED TO NICKY'S 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY
WEAR A COSTUME!
XOXOXOXOX
Since Blair's encounter with Gillian, she had been avoiding Dan. It wasn't too hard considering Nicky hadn't been spending as much time at her friend's houses that week. And whenever Dan suggested a movie night Blair would use the excuse that she had too much work piling up.
"You look nice," Dan commented when Blair walked in his apartment. "You know, I expected Audrey but you make a good Greek goddess," he checked her out.
"I'm Helen of Troy," she specified without looking at him.
"Of course you are," he moved to the side so she and Dorota could place her presents on the table with the rest of them. "The face that launched a thousand ships hey?" he tried to sneak a kiss as Dorota was busy at the table.
"Umm," she moved away from him and looked around. "I have something I need to tell you," Blair said grimly referring to her run-in with Gillian.
"What do you think?" he asked, ignoring her.
"Well, it doesn't look like a total disaster..." she seemed quite content with his decorations.
"I called your people. I told you I would," he smirked. "I even dressed up like you requested," he held his hands out so she could get a good look at him.
"Umm,...I give up. What are you supposed to be?" Just then Nate walked in dressed like a professional soccer player. His eyes became wide and excited when he saw Dan.
"YES!" he high-fived Dan who chuckled. "That's fuckin' sick,"
"Language!" Blair yelled looking around hoping no one had heard him. "I give up, who are you supposed to be?"
"Are you kidding me?" Nate looked at Blair like she was crazy. "He's Han Solo!"
"Boys and their Star Trek..."
"Star Wars!" Dan and Nate said in unison equally as appalled by Blair's ignorance. Nina walked in after. She was wearing a black and white wig, a tight, black dress, fur coat and stilettos. Dan was thrilled to bits that after all this time, she finally dressed up as Cruella.
"You make a fabulous Cruella!" Blair gave her side kisses.
"Thank-you!" she smiled. "Did you bring your quellazaire from your Audrey costume?. I need a smoke and want to be authentic,"
"In my bag," Blair said.
"Hi mommy!," Nicky bounced over in her fairy costume that Jenny had customized for her.
"Hi angel!," he eyes lit up, she leaned over and kissed her. "Look at this beautiful fabric," she felt the material then started discussing it with Jenny. "It's gorgeous,...I knew it was going to be gorgeous but this is beyond my expectations,..."
"Obviously,...you were doubting me before," Jenny said playfully.
"I was doubting that you could finish it in time after she changed her mind for the third time,"
"I told you that going from angel to fairy wouldn't be that hard," Jenny smiled.
"I didn't wrap my present,...I'm assuming that won't be a problem,..." Rufus flashed a smile as he tossed it on the table in front of Dan and Nate.
"Is that...?" Nate's eyebrows raised and he shared a knowing smile with Dan. "Are those nerf guns?"
Dan rushed over and ripped open the box. "We do not do guns!" Blair's voice raised. "DAN!" she yelled as he handed one over to Nate. "Rufus!," she starred at him completely appalled.
"Yeeeaahhh," Nate held his up in the air as Dan told Nicky to go to the other side of the house. Dan counted to three as Blair screamed in anger and demanded them to stop. Everyone completely ignored Blair, and once Dan got to three they began firing at one another until all their spongey bullets were scattered around on the floor. Nicky was laughing uncontrollably and explaining how hilarious it was when Nate jumped over the couch to avoid being hit.
"Okay let's pick these up before anyone gets here," Dan, Nicky and Nate collected all the bullets and Blair starred at them.
"It's not funny," she put her hands on her hips.
"I'm sorry Blair," Rufus said seriously. "Dan used to play with them all the time when he was young and I thought,..."
"I forgot how much fun these were!" Nate set his gun down.
"Dan, can I talk to you in the kitchen?" she asked. "Immediately,"
Dan followed behind her with a shrug. "C'mon, Nate and I haven't played with those in forever! it was nostalgic,"
"I don't care about what you and Nate do!,...you and Nate can shoot at one another all day long if you really want to. What part of 'no guns' do you not understand?"
"They're nerf guns Blair," Dan rolled his eyes. "It's not a big deal and i'm not going to let you make my dad feel bad for buying them. So leave it,"
"Dan!..."
"What?" he turned back to her.
"You ask her thirty questions about how she feels after watching 'Beauty and the Beast' you implemented that rule and I follow it,"
"That's different,..."
"How?"
",..." he inhaled. "Okay no guns," he said simply. Blair immediately remembered her run-in with Gillian and felt bad for being so abrasive.
"Come here," she put her hands on his face and pulled him in for a kiss. "I kind of like the Han Solo look,..."
"Really?" he smiled.
"Makes me think of you in high-school with all your vests,"
"Ugh, I got them all from thrift shops..."
"Eww,"
"So umm,..." she inhaled. "I wanted to tell you earlier, umm..."
"Hello, Hello," Nate greeted Dan's mom who walked in carrying several gift bags and boxes.
"Hold that thought, my mom's here,..."
"Where are we putting these?" Allison asked.
"Whoa, buy the whole store mom?" Dan laughed and helped her place them all on the table once he exited the kitchen. She ignored him, adjusted her cat ears and scanned the room for her grand-daughter.
"Hi my sunshine," she went straight for Nicky pulling her into a big hug.
"I can't believe she's ten,..." she hugged Dan then Blair as Nicky was pulled into hugs by other people entering the apartment.
The party consisted of mostly family and a few of Nicky's close school friends and their mothers.
After food and party games that Nate had Jenny had come up with together, Nicky was opening her presents, which was quite the ordeal, Blair kneeled down beside her and wrote in the cards so they could send personalized thank-you cards.
"Thank you so much!" Nicky looked up and thanked one of her friends.
"Who's this one from?" Nicky asked Blair as she pushed it in front of her.
"This is from daddy," she held out the card to show her his personal letter hand-written inside. "We'll keep the card okay?" she ran her index finger affectionately over his words.
Nicky began gently tearing at the wrapping paper of the big box and found another box inside. Blair looked up with a laugh to see Dan chatting with some of their relatives not really paying much attention to Nicky and her presents. "Oh my goodness, there's another one!" Izzie commented. Nicky was laughing but began laughing even harder when she found old books lined around the outside of one of the smaller boxes; obviously being used as weights.
"What on earth..." Blair giggled. "Leave it to your dad to line the box with 'fifty shades of grey'..."
"Did I actually?" he looked shocked. "Those are not part of the gift..." he pointed.
"He was just trying to trick me!" she rushed to open the next box.
"Yeah these can go home with you," Blair held the books up to Dan and a light chuckle came from everyone.
"They can go in the garbage,..." Dan commented.
"I love that you guys get along so well still," one of the moms said to Blair.
Nicky threw her head back in laughter as she found another small box and then another.
"There better be a gift in here Dan!," Blair called out and everyone that was paying attention laughed.
A sharp inhale came when Nicky reached the last box that was wrapped in bright pink paper. It was small and rectangular, she looked up at her mom and showed her the box. Blair bit her lip trying not to smirk as Nicky's jaw dropped. Blair then laughed seeing Nicky in such a state that she couldn't even bring herself to rip the paper.
"What is it?" one of the amused moms asked Blair. Blair just smiled and looked back at Nicky.
"Open it baby," Blair said softly seeing Nicky's eyes sparkle, overcome with emotion.
"Where is he?" she jumped off her chair. "WHERE IS HE?" she rushed through the crowds of people and found her dad standing and talking to a few people. He set his drink down and accepted her into his arms as she jumped up and wrapped herself around his neck.
"Do you like it?" he smirked. She showed him the box still covered with paper. "Open it!" he laughed.
"I can't," she buried her head in his shoulder.
"How do you know what it is if you don't open it?" he whispered in her ear.
"I know what it is," she sniffed then rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Why are you crying you silly goose?" he kissed her cheek.
"I'm so happy," she mumbled. Dan set Nicky down and ripped the paper until she could see the one thing she had been asking for all year: An iPhone.
"Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!"
Nicky got back in her seat and opened the remaining presents."Keep it safe," Nicky asked her mom as she handed it over.
"I have it right here, I won't let it out of my sight,"
Nicky continued opening presents. Some very creative and original pieces of jewelry that Allison had made, and her usual present from Grandma Eleanor, a fashion Barbie to add to her ever growing collection. The last presents Nicky opened was from Blair. There were boxes upon boxes, gift bags upon gift bags. Clear mascaras, muted eye liners, a few glossy lipsticks with minimal pigment, translucent powder, a pale pink blush, a few Dior nail polishes in bright colours to make up for the lack of colour in the makeup. The newest Vera Wang fragrance and several designer dresses and pairs of shoes. "Only at home okay? you're not wearing makeup to school,"
"Okay!," she nodded excitedly. Blair then presented Nicky with her very first pair of diamond earrings with a matching necklace.
"Promise me you're going to take good care of these," Blair put the earrings on her.
"I will, I will!" her doe eyes promised as she smiled brightly. As Blair put the necklace on her she noticed Nicky was still wearing Dan's wedding band on a chain.
Nicky was always spoiled but Dan really thought Blair overdid it this year. "Seven," Dan snuck up to Blair and spoke into her ear as remaining family members were finally leaving.
"I beg your pardon," she spun towards her ex.
"I counted seven gifts from you,"
"You don't get to tell me how many gifts i'm allowed to give my one and only baby," She continued to look away from him. "And besides, you're going to lecture me? an iPhone? really?" she side eyed him.
"You can't tell me what i'm allowed to buy my one and only baby," he repeated with a coy smirk.
Blair chuckled and turned not realizing how close Dan really was, she swallowed hard then apologized for slamming her body into his.
"S'okay," Dan backed up.
"Though arguably cliche, I think the way you weighed the box down with books was really cute," she smiled.
"I didn't want her to know what it was right away,..." he shrugged.
"Well as soon as she got down to it, she knew,"
"She's very smart,"
"We know how to make them," Blair smiled.
"I'm going to say goodbye some people,"
"I'm going to find Nicky," they went in separate directions.
Nina and Nate were rushing out of the apartment when Dan stopped them to say goodbye. "It's uh getting late so we have to go," Nate said to his friend.
"Wow, it's almost ten and we have quite the cab drive...umm he does," Nina pointed at Nate.
"You guys can stay here,"
"No, no, no...we have to get home before midnight or..." Nina jabbed Nate in the side with her long fingernail. "Just gotta go, see you later!" they rushed into the elevator.
"Hey, guys can you wait and let my mom go down with you?" Dan asked but it was too late the doors had already closed.
"Lovely party," Allison walked up to Dan. "I can't believe she's ten...time flies,"
"That it does," he nodded.
"I just tucked her in with Blair, she's exhausted,"
"Understandably,"
"Maybe it's none of my business but," she looked away sheepishly. "What happened between you two?"
"Mom,..."
"I'm not trying to pry, i'm just confused. Your father doesn't even know,"
"Why are you and dad divorced?"
"Dan,...we were right for each-other you know that,"
"Well Blair and I aren't right for each-other so you won okay? you were right,"
"I never wanted that. I never wanted this to happen to you, I didn't want your life to turn out this way,"
"My life is fine,"
"It's been a year and you're still single,"
"Yeah, a year,..." he looked confused. "it's only been a year,"
"You're too good of a catch to not get out there and date,"
"I did date. I'm not ready to date,"
"Don't let her have the satisfaction,...she left you, now you go and find someone that's worthy of you,"
"Can you please save it? like you just said, you have no idea what happened to us, so you have no right to tell me what I should be doing,"
She inhaled realizing she was being rude. "You're right. I apologize," she nodded. "I'll talk to you later, Goodnight, I love you," she hugged him again. Dan stood in the foyer and said goodbye to the remaining guests until Blair was the only person left.
"Well, she's sleeping," Blair said with a smile as she joined him in the foyer.
"Good, she had a long day," he nodded. Blair noticed he had some of the confetti glitter on his cheek so she gently brushed it away with her thumb.
"You had some...," she showed him the gold flakes on her thumb.
"You also have some..." he brushed her nose. They were quiet for a moment when Blair spoke up as she watched Dan begin to take down some of the decorations.
"Halloween isn't for awhile,..."
"Yeah but this is a little much. I don't think I can live in it," he continued to toss out streamers and swipe glitter off the table. Blair sat herself down on the couch to relax and rest her feet for a moment.
"You know,..." she swallowed. "Every year after all the fun and she's in bed,...I feel a little sad," she confessed, her eyes resting on a pillow.
"Why because she's getting older?" he questioned.
"No, because I think about how if everything happened the way it was supposed to,...we wouldn't have her," she looked around the room and rubbed her arms trying to comfort herself.
"What do you mean?" he put down the garbage bag and sat with her.
"I'm plagued with guilt because i'm so happy how things turned out and like I said before I wouldn't change anything,...but how is that fair to him? How is it fair that I don't wish we had him? How is it fair that I would choose her over him and I do in dreams all the time," she caught a sob in her throat and forced herself to suck it up.
"Oh Blair," he rested his hands on her knees. "Don't torture yourself for being happy. You know I firmly believe that if we did have him,..." he took her hand in his. "If he was still here today," he smiled, "she would be here too," he nodded gently. " She would find a way," Blair nodded with a smile. "We would decide to have another one, or you know,...things happen,...they can happen," his eyes widened. "It happened to us before, it could certainly happen again. She was fate Blair,..."
"You need to stop making me want to kiss you," she smirked.
"Well people can kiss," he leaned in.
"Not with Nicky here,..." she turned from him and his lip brushed her cheek.
"Okay," he pressed his lips together and dropped his hand. Blair stared at him for a moment.
"I know this isn't going to last," suddenly he looked sad. "I know that there's an expiry date to the days where we can just,...pretend nothing happened to us,"
Blair's lips parted, she was at a loss for words. Dan expected many things to come out of Blair's mouth but he didn't expect the words she uttered next.
"...Let's try," her eyes flickered as she starred at him.
"Try?"
"Let's just...figure things out,"
"and then what?" he looked skeptical as she pulled his hands into hers.
"I don't know," she said quietly with a shrug. "Just date me," she pressed her lips together and shrugged.
"...Yeah?"
"Yes," she leaned in for a kiss. Dan deepened it and she sighed into his mouth loudly. "No,..no," she pulled away when he began to kiss her neck. "Nicky,..." she reminded him. "We still have to be extremely careful,"
"Okay," he pressed his lips together. "Do you want anything?" he rubbed her shoulder gently. Blair eyed him up and down, then glanced in the direction of Nicky's bedroom.
",...If you promise to be really quiet,..."
"Me?" he asked.
"Shh!" she went in for the kill.
My head told me to stay away but my heart craved him. Any pain that he had caused seemed to be insignificant, I loved him more than I hated him. I desired to be with him but I still wanted to be strong. I always assumed I was a stronger woman with Dan but I was proving that was not true as I had stayed by his side while he hurt me over and over. At this point I didn't care, I wanted to be open and honest- I needed to tell him how I felt and maybe figure everything out with him instead of by myself. -Blair
XOXOXOXOXOX
Profound and momentous was her existence, a pure symbol of perseverance and hope.
Somewhere between standing in front of a sea of paint chips and then again in front of a massive wall of formula cans he realized this would be his life from now on. Dan's life was dedicated to the woman he married and the little girl he made with her and he couldn't have been happier. He ran into Blair's floor at Cosmo with a smile on his face. He placed a large tray of pink cupcakes on Blair's desk and went to his usual task at the whiteboard where he grabbed a marker and wrote, NICOLE BRIANNA "NICKY" HUMPHREY! arrived on OCTOBER 16TH AT 8:50 pm, SHE'S SIX POUNDS, HAPPY, HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL!
He fully expected to come home to a diligent brunette making another list of impossible demands and tasks, an impossible set of instructions and a sharp tongue, but when he walked in the door there was silence. He rested his keys and bags on the kitchen counter as stealthy as possible and walked around the brick pillar. Dan could see Blair covered in her blanket curled up into the corner of her chair. Dan smiled when he saw she had her forehead pressed up against the sleeping baby, taking in her new baby smell so she'd never forget it. A slight click in the floor had her look up to Dan.
"Hi," she said to Dan. Not a strange way to greet him, not an unheard of tone but the circumstance was everything. She was whispering because she was holding their sleeping baby. "I got everything on your list," he whispered, "This close enough?" he pulled the paint chip out of his pocket. "uah, Tiffany blue..." she smiled blissfully with his perfect match, her eyes only glanced for a second then went back to her baby.
"I went to three stores for that," he was proud of himself Blair could really care less with what Dan was saying as her baby's nose twitched.
"I don't want her to ever grow up. I want her to stay just like this," she stared at her tiny lips.
"no you don't,"
"sure I do" she nuzzled her gently.
"I don't believe you," he sat down next to her.
"Dan, she's our masterpiece," she smiled.
"you're filling the room with cheese,"
"I can't help it. I don't think i'll ever have to visit the MET again. I might turn in my membership,...she's all the artwork I ever need to see," she smiled. "I came to my decision for her party,"
"We just brought her home today can we..." he rubbed his eyebrow.
"I know," she cut him off. "But I want to have her 'Welcome to the World' birthday party in two weeks"
"uuhh-ok..." he rubbed his eyes. "What will the theme be?" he plastered on a goofy smile as if he was throughly excited.
"What little girls are made of,"
"Ok," he nodded.
"I'll take care of the sugar and spice, you do the rest, " She stood and walked into the nursery leaving Dan by himself.
"oh well that should be,...," he inhaled. "Easy..."
After an hour Dan walked into their bedroom and got up on the bed with Blair. He opened his notepad and read aloud a list he just created.
"Diamonds, Macrons, Ducks, French tights, Lemonade, Chocolate, Tiffanys, Peonies, and Daisies,"
"All things nice," Blair sighed contently with a soft smile.
XOXOXOX
She hasn't uttered a single word to Dan or Blair upon arriving. She's not sure if anyone of importance knows she's there but she doesn't care. She's been there for less than five minutes but finds herself completely content and thrilled that she decided to show up.
Allison often avoided anything that took place at Blair's mother's penthouse. Anytime she was invited to the two-story, lavishly decorated museum-like home, she she would think of a way to get out of attending and if she couldn't think of anything on the spot, she could always find an excuse to leave early. Never, did she think her son would marry someone of such pedigree, and she could never believe her son would find himself so comfortable in this world. Today, he was celebrating comfortably, just as if he'd grown up in this penthouse his entire life, same as Blair. He walked around with ease, knew where everything was kept in the kitchen cabinets and drawers. Allison watched him proudly as he helped the caterers with the same poise and politeness she always instilled in him. There was a harpist and Allison couldn't imagine anything quite as pretentious. She wasn't exactly fond of Blair's lifestyle, her upbringing or her beliefs. She'd be lying if she didn't occasionally wish her son had selected a different woman to make his wife. She was not comfortable around the people that Blair brought into her life, she was not like them, she did not feel the need to associate with them. Normally she would be uncomfortable and bothered that her attempt to dress as prim and proper as her daughter in law had failed, she would find paint splatters on her wrists and thumb and think of nothing else until she excused herself and headed back to Hudson. Allison avoided that place like the plague but somehow still, today she stands in the middle of the bourgeoisie penthouse completely content. She's not worried about how she's under-dressed or fearing someone will judge her. For the last ten minutes she's been standing, her eyes closed, her only grand-baby held close to her heart, she rocks on her feet, back and fourth and kisses her sleeping face repeatedly. Wild horses couldn't drag her out of Eleanor's penthouse today.
"You want to sit down mom?" Dan asked quietly as he snuck up to her, his thumb gliding gently over the sleeping baby's face.
"She's absolutely lovely," she smiled in a whisper, seeing him for the first time that day. "She's gorgeous honey," the look of bliss on her face was something Dan had never seen before.
"Thank-you for coming," he pressed a kiss to her cheek and then watches as his mom lowers the baby, holding her small head in her palm to get another good look at her.
"I cannot believe..." she chuckled softly starring down at Nicky's sleeping face.
"Crazy right?" he smiled gazing down at her. Allison lifted the baby back up to her chest and lets her sleep more comfortably."Do you want to take a break?" Dan asked.
"I'm fine," she closes her eyes again and goes back to softly rocking her.
Dan bit his bottom lip and rubbed his hands together. "Uhh,...Blair kind of..." he pointed at the baby sheepishly not really wanting to take her away.
"Oh,..." she shook her head wondering how long she had been hogging the baby for. "of course. I'll bring her," she swung away from him and headed towards the living-room where Blair waited for Dan.
"You could have just taken her," she smiled sweetly at Blair who looked susprised to see Allison.
"I didn't want..." she tilted her head to the side. "I didn't want to disturb you," she felt like a villain for sending Dan.
"I'll come and get her again later," she smiled at Blair who accepted the baby into her arms.
"We're going to have a family dinner once it clears out. You're welcome to stay,"
"Oh that's okay," Allison cleared her throat and starred adoringly at the baby. She took a hold of her tiny foot for a moment.
"I'll bring her back to you Allison," Blair smiled sweetly. "I'm just having a little separation anxiety," she scrunched her nose wondering if she was being awful for taking the guest of honor away. Dan rounded up Jenny who was sipping pink champagne and talking to Blair's colleagues and coworkers, knowing his mom would sit by herself in a corner or even leave if she didn't find someone she could talk to.
"Did you see her!" Jenny asked brightly as she grabbed her mom and pulled her into a hug.
"I did. She's so beautiful,"
"She's an angel!" Jenny expressed with excitement.
"Daniel!" Eleanor gestured for him to join her, he excused himself from his mom and Jenny and walked over to his Mother-in-law.
While Jenny went on and on talking to her mother about the little dresses that the baby had inspired her to make. Allison couldn't help glancing over at Dan who was laughing heartily with Eleanor and some other well dressed people. A few times she noticed Eleanor look around and ask where her baby was.
"Where is the guest of honour anyway?" she looked around. "Where's that precious creature?" her eyes darted around looking over people's heads.
"I think Blair stole her," Dan said. After a few minutes Allison looked up hearing her son's voice call across the room.
"Hey mom!" he called. "Mom?" Allison looked over to see Dan trying to get Eleanor's attention which made her feel sick.
"Perfect place for them. That's lovely sweetheart," Eleanor commented on his decision of where to place the flowers that were just sent in.
"Don't leave before you see my granddaughter, she's breathtaking," Eleanor commented before excusing herself from the group of people. Allison looked away as Eleanor approached her. "How are you?" she smiled brightly at Dan's mother. "Have you seen her yet?" she beamed with pride.
"I,...I have," she nodded, clearing her throat.
"I don't know how you managed to stay in Hudson for the last two weeks. I practically lived at Dan and Blair's apartment since the baby was born,"
"I was actually in Los Angeles for Alex's father's funeral,"
"Alex is...?" Eleanor asked.
"My boyfriend," she felt childish for saying that. They had been together over six years and it felt wrong to call him her boyfriend.
"Oh my condolences to him and his family,"
"Thank-you," she inhaled. "I had every intention of being at that hospital when she was born,"
"I'm sure you did dear,"
"She was a few weeks early so I didn't think,...If I had known I wouldn't have left," she defended herself.
"Of course. I'm sure you were very busy for the last thirteen days..." Eleanor had caught her in a lie and it made her angry. "Excuse me," Eleanor made her way towards a few more guests that had just arrived.
"I was busy Jenny. Every-time I called to go over, Eleanor was there and..."
"You need to stop caring what Eleanor thinks of you," Jenny said with flippancy as she went to say hello to Nate's mother who was asking where Blair had run off to.
Now every face was foreign to Allison except the one who was standing contently, watching from afar as Eleanor showed off some expensive gifts she had purchased for the baby.
"is this going to go on her entire life? How do I compete with that?" Allison asked Rufus with a sigh.
"You don't,..." he chuckled to himself. "I can't compete with a man who lives in a French villa and could easily buy her a castle...so i've decided i'm not going to compete,"
"She's going to be so spoiled..." Allison pursed her lips together.
"Yes she is," Rufus nodded affirming her worst fear with nonchalance. "Al," he said seriously. "There's nothing you can do about that. It's inevitable but you have to trust that Dan knows what he's doing. Just because one Grandma might buy her expensive gifts doesn't mean she will love you less." he thought for a moment. "Blair was given everything her heart ever desired. She was showered with expensive gifts her whole life. And you know what? she fell in love with someone who couldn't give her anything," Rufus smiled. "I know you have these ideas of who Blair is but only one thing should matter to you. She loves your son,"
"Well i'm not so sure," she crossed her arms lightly.
"And the truth comes out!" he turned to face her. "What gives you that impression? you are just so stubborn you can't see what's right in front of you. I was weary of him melting into this lifestyle as well, but there's nothing to worry about. He's the same kid Al," he nodded. "that girl loves him,"
Allison began to cross her arms. "We have a granddaughter Al..." he reminded her as he walked away.
"Rufus are you staying for family dinner?" Eleanor asked with a big smile.
"Yes I think I will," he winked at Allison showing how well he could adapt to this change.
XOXOXOX
"There you are," Dan found Blair sitting on her childhood bed. "People are asking where the guest of honour is," he climbed up on to the bed.
"I wanted some alone time..." Blair still wondered if she was being awful for keeping the baby to herself.
"Oh I guess i'll just leave then..." he pressed his hands into the duvet.
"Get over here," she grabbed his hand.
"Still sleeping..." he leaned over.
"she was up early,"
Allison climbed the stairs trying to find Dan to say goodbye, she stopped outside Blair's old bedroom when she heard Blair's voice.
"Hi,...hello," she talked to her baby. "Are you awake now? do you want to meet everyone?" she leaned in and kissed her on the head. "You didn't even get to meet your grandma because you were snoozing the whole time," even though Blair was the one talking, the baby's eyes were glued to Dan. Blair lifted her closer to her face. "Hey you..." she spoke to her hoping to get her attention but still her little face and eyes were stuck on Dan in a daze, transfixed like she was hypnotized.
"Your mum is talking to you young lady," Dan said then smiled when she looked even more fascinated by his voice. Her lips parted slightly as she starred in awe.
"Little bit obsessed with daddy..." Blair chuckled. "That's okay, me too," she smiled then bowed her head and kissed the baby. "If you want to go back downstairs and be with our guests i'll join you shortly. I'm just going to change her,"
"They don't even notice i'm gone," he shrugged.
"Please be a good host," she pouted and squeezed his arm.
"Okay, okay," he got up and began to walk out of the room.
"Try again Humphrey..." he turned back and kissed her on the lips.
"Thank you for throwing this party," she said genuinely.
"I don't think it's as good as one of your parties but I think I did an okay job,..."
"It's perfect," she leaned in and kissed him again. "I love you so much,"
"I love you too Daisy," he said before he headed to the door. "Oh hey," Dan ran into his mom the moment he walked out. "Blair's just changing her, you can have her back as soon as she comes down,"
"That's okay. I'm going to head out," she pulled him into a hug. "I'm so happy for you and Blair," she kissed him on the cheek. "It was a long road,"
"Mhmm," he nodded.
"From what I see you're going to be a great father and Blair seems like a lovely mother,...and wife," she smirked.
"That means a lot considering I know how you used to feel about her,"
"I never disliked her. No matter what you say, I didn't. I was just unsure if she was right for you. I know she is," she nodded.
"You should trust my judgement,"
"Well, you're the one that dated Serena..."
"...low blow," he laughed then pulled her in for another hug.
A couple hours later everyone had left but the few remaining family members including Dorota, Vanya and their little six year-old Ana. Dan had finished pulling down the decorations and helped Dorota and some of the caterers bring trays and extra food back into the kitchen. They all had dinner together, sitting at the huge dining-room table with the new member of the family. The baby was passed around the table as she slept, they ate and enjoyed each-others company. When they were done with dessert, Blair snuck away and sat in the corner of the sofa. Her legs crossed in lacy, patterned tights. Her toes bouncing up and down lightly as she fed her newborn baby a bottle away from the noisy kitchen. She could hear Dan and Harold talking, Eleanor and Roman laughing about something but she was content just sitting here with newest person in her life.
"Wher'd you get her from?" Ana curled up on the couch beside Blair as she fed Nicky her bottle. Her eyes were closed and she knew she had more interest in sleep then food.
"Where all babies come from" Blair answered, trying to wake Nicky up so she would eat by stroking her cheek gingerly.
"But she wasn't in your belly" Ana knew where babies grew and she had seen Blair enough to know there was not baby inside her.
"No," she looked up from the baby and smiled at Ana's little face. "But i'm still her mommy,"
"How?" he asked genuinely curious.
"Well, you have baby dolls right?" she nodded.
"Yes,"
"Well, this is my baby doll," Blair lifted Nicky and placed her over her shoulder and rubbed her back in a circular motion. A tiny bubble emerged and Blair smiled at her adoringly.
"You buyed her from a store?" Ana asked.
"Umm,..something like that," Blair giggled bringing the baby back into her arms.
"She's a cute one," Ana commented looking at the baby with a sweet smile.
Blair smiled brightly at the six year-old's compliment, "Thank-you,...You want to hold her?" she asked.
"Can I?"
"Of course, just sit right here" Blair stood up. Dan entered the living-room and gave Blair an awry smile wondering how Ana talked her into this. Eleanor smiled brightly and asked Dorota to fetch her camera. After a few photos, Blair rubbed the back of Dan's shoulder with a gulp.
"Get her..." she said under her breath.
"What?" he didn't quite hear her.
"Pick her up right now," she spoke through clenched teeth that formed a fake smile. "I can't do it, you have to,"
"Why? she's got her,..." he crossed his arms loosely still amused at how sweet the two of them looked in the corner of the couch while everyone around started talking Blair's eyes were still attached to her baby watching her little head start to roll to the side of Ana's chubby little five year-old arm. A sharp cry came from the baby and Dan dropped to his knees in front of the couch.
"Okay!" he scooped the baby out of Ana's arms. She looked alarmed by the loud baby cries.
"Thank-you for holding her," Dan smiled at Ana who beamed with pride and slipped off the couch.
"I think we should head home," Blair said to Dan who nodded as he rocked back and fourth on his heels and calmed the baby.
"I was thinking you might want to stay," Eleanor overheard them.
"Stay here?"
"Everyone's here why don't we just spend the night as a family and in the morning we'll have breakfast. You know there's clothes upstairs,...Nicky can sleep in the pram, she practically did that all day today anyway,"
"Mom, it's not even a holiday,"
"Please. It's storming out there," Blair looked to Dan and he shrugged.
"Okay we'll stay over. If you're sure you're okay with midnight feedings,... they are bound to wake you up. She has a set of lungs on her when she's hungry," she warned.
"I want you to stay,"
"Harold, Roman, bring the pram up to Blair's room," Eleanor ordered.
After a night cap, Dan looked down to see the baby sound asleep.
"I'm going to go put her down," Dan let Eleanor give her one last kiss before he headed up the stairs.
"Goodnight darling," she pressed a tender kiss on her head then kissed Dan on the cheek telling him goodnight.
"Okay,..I'll be there in a sec," Blair smiled at Dan as he trotted up the familiar steps of the penthouse with a receiving blanket over his shoulder. Blair watched him climb the stairs with the eyes of a hawk slowly realizing she was worrying about nothing, he wasn't going to drop her.
"You look really happy" Eleanor smiled as Blair collected all the baby items from the living-room.
"I'm so happy,.." tears filled her eyes. "You have no idea mom,"
"Yes I do," she smiled and kissed her daughter's head. "Don't cry,...Don't,...everything is wonderful," she cupped her cheeks. Blair considered this to be an unusual display of affection from Eleanor.
"Yeah," Blair nodded, wiping her eyes.
"Goodnight, i'll see you in the morning,"
Blair headed up stairs to find Dan laying on her old bed with the baby on his chest. "So much for putting her down," Blair got up on the bed and snuggled close to Dan.
"I don't want to put her down," he ran his hand gently along her curved back.
"I love that she still looks like a little turtle" Blair referred to their daughter's fetal position as she slept on Dan's chest.
"Old habits die hard," he touched one of her little white socks.
"How did you know? that is my favourite movie" he teased pretending it was a new fact.
"That cinematic masterpiece? I thought it was everyone's favourite film," she laughed lightly before laying her head down on Dan's chest so her lips were touching Nicky's head.
"I love her so much" she whispered so she didn't wake her.
"I love her more,"
"That's impossible," she lifted herself up to kiss him gently on the lips.
"You know the last time we slept in here,..."
"We weren't even married!" Blair's eyes widened. "What would your Nana say?"
Dan chuckled softly, "Look what I found," he gestured to the book on the nightstand.
"My scrapbook," she laughed.
"How much do you think has changed?"
"Um probably everything" she laughed, "except the ring," she studied it for a moment.
"I really broke the bank for that,"
"I know," she says almost sadly.
"I had to get Nate to pay my share of the rent for awhile," he scratched his eyebrows thinking he must have been crazy.
"You didn't have to,"
"Yes I did. You deserve that ring," he kissed her gently. "I paid Nate back, all good,"
"How much was it actually?" she asked still starring at it's sparkle.
"Hah! as if i'd ever reveal that,"
"Give me a price range,"
"Okay,...it was more expensive than her..." his eyes fell to the sleeping baby on his chest.
"Really?" she looked impressed.
"Mhmm,"
"But not nearly as valuable,"
"Not nearly," he agreed bowing his head and pressing his lips to her soft peach fuzz hair. "I'm going to change,"
Moments later she watches her husband exit the washroom all muscle and sinew in nothing but a pair of Cyrus' old, silk pajama pants. Eleanor gave them to him for his birthday that year. He refused to wear for them being much too long and wouldn't even consider getting them hemmed for they were pajamas. Blair doesn't hate Cyrus for this because she loves the way they hang off Dan's hips and expose his pelvic bones slightly. "Stylish right?" He asks doing a spin. Blair blows air through her teeth with a tired laugh as she lays back and glances up at him a smile playing ever so gently on her lips. His daily jogs in the park and his frequent trips to the gym have done everything to maintain Blair's unquenchable lust for him.
He walks over to the pram and stares down into it as he contemplates. Before she can ask what's wrong the baby starts making tiny fussing noises. "Mmfh...mmf," her tiny face contorts. Dan picks her up with ease, her head resting between his thumb and index finger. She's silent. Blair continues to watch him hold her against his chest. Her little socked feet move a little and Blair smiles adoringly. "You just want to be held hmm?" Dan lowers his head so he can see her face and notices she's sleeping comfortably. "Put her down," Blair says like its an order, as if she knows what he's considering. He looks up at her and cocks an eyebrow.
"No," she shook her head. "She's not sleeping with us," Blair has an unreasonable fear that they would fall asleep and crush her if they ever let her on the bed with them at this time of night. She's even had nightmares about it and woken up in the middle of the night in a panic until she realizes Nicky is sleeping safely in her basinet.
Dan eventually gives up and gently puts her back down. He hovers above her and makes sure she's asleep. "Dan.." He ignores her as his hand disappears into the pram so he can fix her blankets. "Do you think this thing is on an angle?" He looks at the wheels then rests his hand on the bedding.
"It's fine," Blair said.
"I don't know if they're supposed to be slept in,"
"It's a stroller Dan," he continues to look down at the baby contemplating."I wish we brought her bassinet. How old is this thing?" he's still fixing the blankets. He then gently touches her arm. "She's a little warm,"
"Dan.." When he looks up she smiles sweetly. "She's fine sweetie," she pats the other side of the bed encouraging him to join her.
Baby wakes her parents first with soft whimpering,they both spring to their feet at the same time. When her crying is louder and more shrill her grandparents wake up as-well.
"Ok ok ok" Blair gently taps on her bottom as she paces back in fourth. Dan has already made his way downstairs to heat up a bottle. It's times like this that Blair is more than aware that she didn't give birth to her. When she can't comfort her baby and feed her by simply pulling down her shirt, when they have to wait and heat a bottle. She could cry at times like these but she never does because before long the baby has her bottle and Dan is pressing kisses to Blair's shoulder.
XOXOXOX
A/N: Did I clear up anything? I will bring back the Serena stuff in the next chapter. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post this near "Nicky's Birthday" I was going to wait until the actual 16th but I won't be around to post it on the 16th and i'd rather be early then belated. Like i've said before I really try to put these chapters out in the right order. I hope you aren't too upset I didn't get right to the Serena stuff but we'll get there! Serena is NOT pregnant in the flashback of last chapter. It'll all be explained in the next chapter. And I feel like any question you have will be answered before it's over. I hope you liked it :)