Right then lovelies, I suggest you get your Gerard heads on, as he's the only one you'll be hearing from over the next several chapters.

Enjoy, read, rejoice and all that jazz.

People have started saying I'm too independent, too alone all the time. I even met someone else, but I had to leave, had to hurt her because I was so afraid it would turn out like Gee. What have you done Gee? Even after all this time, what have you left me to become?

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When I took off running down the street, I had no thoughts in my head whatsoever except to get to Frank as fast as possible. I knew where he had lived once -we had driven past it while Frank was at home one day, and dad had pointed it out sadly, using it as an example of Frank's previous life. It was a set of council flats a few miles away; a few concrete towers marring the New Jersey skyline. It had chilled me at the time, the idea of Frank as a tiny child, growing up in those barren building, surrounded by abuse and pain, and no hope. I wondered how many more were trapped like that.

It was like suddenly all the hundreds of hints and clues he had left were flooding through my head, and I wondered how I could have possibly ever mistaken his intentions. There were so many occasions where I could have questioned him further but didn't. I should have made him tell me, I should have taken Ray's advice and told my parents everything!

"Three months until what Frankie...?" I asked him, cradling my arms around him as he slumped next to the sink, shivering, streaks of vomit still decorating his chest. He shuddered, and turned slowly to look me in the eye so there was no mistaking him. "Three months until I can die, Gerard. Three months until I can end this ridiculous farce of a life."

I could have forgiven myself if that was the only time. Anyone could forget a single conversation. But that wasn't all, there were other conversations, countless ones where I should have realised what he was telling me.

"Frank" I began slowly.

"There has to be a way here. This is chaos; this is just impossible to continue"

Frank didn't look at me, and didn't reply. I had seen the effect my anger had on him before, so I kept a tight hold of myself. "I just have to ask it Frankie. Do you want to die? Is this what it's about? Cause I've fucking been there, I know what its like!"

I could barely hear Frankie's shallow whisper "I don't want to die. Not yet."

Not yet. Not then maybe, but he did now. It was like H all over again, and I had failed all over again.

I literally stuffed the letter in my pocket without reading beyond the first line, and began to jog. If there was even the slightest chance that I could save Frank...he had been gone for over an hour, but maybe...? I couldn't even let myself finished the thought, I just had to believe there was still hope. I was barely a few paces down the street though, when I heard someone shouting behind me. I span around quickly, painfully aware that every second the light was dying, there wasn't long until sundown, and after dark my chances of reaching him became near enough impossible.

I wasn't in the mood for explanations, so when I saw Mikey standing in the street, tall and lanky as ever, looking at me through his glasses as though I had lost my mind, I simply shouted at him to "come!" without thinking twice of the consequences. I turned and began running again, not caring whether or not he followed. But soon I heard feet pounding behind me, and Mikey caught up, his longer stride matching mine easily. "What's going on?" He asked sharply, keeping up seemingly without effort. I was already out of breath and exhausted, my smokers lungs making an unwelcome appearance. I barely managed to gasp out "Frank! Going to kill himself! Got to get there..." Before I ran out of breath.

Mikey swore sharply, but I could barely hear it through the pounding of my heart. I didn't do exercise, smoked, and never ate healthily. Now I was paying the price as my body pointed out exactly how unfit I was. We had barely gone half a mile and I was on the verge of collapse. Beside me Mikey ran smoothly, his breathing even and his strides confident. Stupid bastard, with his health regime.

I staggered to a stop on the sidewalk, my leaden legs literally refusing to take me any further, my head hanging down. "Gerard!" Mikey said loudly, shaking me. I slumped over, my hands on my knees, gasping for air. "Please Mikey, we need to run!" I said, sucking breaths in through my teeth. I began to run again, but Mikey grabbed my arm. "Gerard!" He said. "Alicia can drive, I'll call her and tell her it's an emergency and she needs to come get us!" I nodded, but my mind was telling me it would be too late by then. Frank needed me.

That thought speared my mind, and I began to run again. Frank needed me. It didn't matter how much agony spiked through my lungs at the unexpected sensation, it didn't matter that I thought my head was going to burst, or my heart explode. Frank needed me, I had to get there. Mikey kept running beside me, gasping instructions down the phone to Alicia but I wasn't paying attention. I focused on the beat of my feet hitting the sidewalk, over and over again, barely looking up to check we were going in the right direction, until suddenly we rounded a corner, and there it was. The concrete flat blocks.

I stopped still, gazing up. The walls were stained and graffitied. From inside a ground level flat, I could hear a baby crying, and as I looked to the left, there was a lone man wandering up the street in thick baggy clothes.

I should have just run straight up there, but I couldn't. I didn't know which flat it was, and I felt like I was struck dumb by the force of the moment. The realisation of what this place was, and what had happened here. I was shaking, and nausea rose in my throat at the sudden unexpected influx of lactic acid in my body. Was this what it felt like to be Frank all the time?

"Well?" Mikey said urgently, bringing me back down to earth. "I don't know. I don't know which flat it is" I said wretchedly, feeling panicked, looking around as though expecting the answer to jump out at me. I hadn't thought of this. Did we have time to search them all? I was on the verge of running over to knock at the nearest door, when I heard Mikey's sharp intake of breath beside me, followed by a low oath. By this point, I was so highly strung that I almost jumped out of my skin, and I turned only to see, to my surprise, Mikey staring at the man I had noticed before. He had slowly made his way towards us while I deliberated, He was tall and probably in his forties, but stooping in that way that men habitually adopt when they have no desire to be noticed. His clothes, as I had said, hung, baggy on his frame as though he had already been wearing them before losing a great deal of weight, and there was a shadow on his chin. There was nothing remarkable about him, and I wondered what had caught Mikey's attention.

The man looked at us, as he came closer, and there was no recognition in his eyes. His eyes slid past me and landed on Mikey, and he paused, seemed confused at the intense way Mikey was regarding him, a frown creasing between his eyebrows. Mikey stepped forward suddenly, and held out an arm, effectively stopping the man from passing us. "What are you doing here?" Mikey asked sharply, his tone confrontational. The man turned towards him, looking bemused. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" He asked quietly, his gaze flickering to the flats high above us, away from Mikey.

Mikey looked angry, and I was just about as confused as this man. "No you don't know me, but I'm pretty damn sure you know my girlfriend" Mikey said coldly. "I'm dating Alicia. Have been for about three years in fact. I recognise your face from her pictures. Now answer me; what are you doing here?"

I looked closer at the man, trying to understand the relevance. He was gazing at Mikey, with an expression appropriate to being clubbed over the head. "You...you know my Alicia?" He asked hoarsely. "She still has pictures of me?"

Mikey nodded, not seeming impressed. "Unfortunately. But I don't understand. They told us you were long gone, and she gave up asking about you a long time ago."

The man nodded, as though what Mikey was saying made perfect sense to him. I was trying to fill in the gaps here, work out what I was missing, when suddenly several things fell into place. The strong, slightly arrogant curve of his eyes, and that exact shade of blue grey. The dark hair, the slim build. I was looking at Alicia's father for the first time, and I had no idea how or why.

I was painfully aware of the time constraints on us, and the sun which was beginning to go down. But Alicia's father hadn't finished talking. "I would have left this town when her mother told me to." He said softly. "But there was a boy I had to stay for. I made a promise to his father, and you never break promises made to a fellow soldier."

"And why are you here now?" Mikey said, asking the questions that were running through my head, as I stood frozen.

"I'm here...I'm here looking for that boy" Alicia's father said softly. "He disappeared a few weeks ago. It's his birthday today, I was hoping he might come back."

"Frank Iero!" I said, out loud. I didn't mean to, but the words burst from my lips like a prayer before I could stop them.

Alicia's father turned to me, as though recognising my presence for the first time. "Yes" he said, looking bewildered. "How do you..."

Before the older man could finish the sentence, I launched myself at him almost without realising what I was doing, as I grabbed handfuls of his winter coat, almost shaking him as I gasped out the story in stilted phrases, and Alicia's father stood dumbstruck. "...and we ran here, we ran here but we don't know where he lives and we have to hurry, you have to help us!" I exclaimed, the terror which had been briefly banished during the shock of our confrontation now returning full force. I knew there were a thousand questions I needed to ask this strange man, and there were so many things I didn't understand. But there was no time for questions right now, they would have to wait until later. Would there be a later?

Alicia's father didn't say a word, barely let me finish the story before he yanked himself free of me and spun around. I had a brief moment of horror, before realising he was turning to a set of metal stairs, and began taking them two at a time with incredible speed and agility for a man his age, belying his ragged looks. Mikey and I followed blindly, running behind him, slipping on the steps, until we almost ran right into him. Looking up from my feet, I saw nothing at first. Then I stepped around Alicia's father, and we all came to a stop, as we were faced with an open door, creaking ominously in the slight wind.

I wanted to go in first, I really did. But fear was absolutely gripping me at what I might find in that hole. I had heard it described, I had seen Frank's mutilated body, I knew what they had done to him in there. Could I really enter? Before I could make up my mind, Alicia's father and Mikey headed straight through, Alicia's father taking the lead, and they walked into the black. I couldn't be left behind, and I quickly followed, only to walk right into Mikey in the dark, as he turned back. Mikey grabbed my shoulders. "He's not here Gerard!" He said, his voice tortured. "There's no-one here. Where do we go now?"

Mikey was right. As our eyes adjusted to the gloom, we could see that the bare, empty little room contained nothing at all. No furniture, no clues, nothing. At the far end, I could just make out a tiny door which led to a cupboard of some form, and I shrugged off Mikey, and headed towards it, hoping to find some form of hint in there. As I reached it, Alicia's father emerged. I couldn't see his face in the shadows, but his voice was hoarse as he said "He's been here. He's been and gone."

"How do you know?" I demanded immediately, stepping into the little cupboard room. I stumbled over something unexpected in the doorway, and leaned down to see what my foot had dislodged. It was a tiny metal torch, the kind children use. Not really expecting it to work, I picked it up and clicked the button, surprised when a tiny beam of light illuminated the little room. I nearly lost what Alicia's father had said in the interim as I looked around, and I asked him to repeat himself as I scanned the little room. "I said, his guitar is gone. It was here yesterday, and now it's gone." The older man said wearily, pointing at a narrow space on the floor that was clear of dust, escaping the thick coating which lay over everything else.

I nodded distractedly, still gazing around in horror at the place we were in. The filth and decay, and the few crates pushed together to make a bed, with a few rags draped over the top. Nothing I had seen in my comparitively sheltered life, or even anything I had heard from Frank, could have prepared me for this. The stench, and my god the bloodstains. So many bloodstains, all over the floor, the sheets, even the walls. I was on the edge of breaking down, and was about to concede, and call the parents, when I heard Mikey call something from the next room. "Gerard! You need to see this."

I turned and left quickly, pushing past Alicia's father where he still stood in the doorway, almost running over towards the tall dark shape I assumed had to be Mikey. "Well? What is it? " I asked frantically.

"Better come out into the light" Mikey said, still squinting through his glasses at something he held in his hands. I ignored that, and flicked on the torch again. The brightness blinded us momentarily, and then we could make out the two photographs in Mikey's hands.

They were old, that was for sure. Nobody had touched those photograph in god knows how many years. But the sepia tint couldn't disguise the scene we were looking at, as we gazed at the one on top. It was a group of people, standing in an awkwardly artificial pose, against the sky -but laughing as thought the photographer had just told a particularly funny joke. They were all clustered around a child of about four years old, who was being held by a girl right at the front of the group. A child, who despite the age of the picture, was unmistakeably Frank Iero. No amount of time passing could change the delicate facial structure, or the perfect double curve his lips made. I would have staked my life that it was him.

The girl holding him looked to be in her late teens, maybe early twenties. I remembered Frank telling me his mother had been a teen pregnancy, and the strong resemblance between the two made me think I was looking at a parent and child. I barely had time to process this, before I looked at the two people just behind the girl. A man and a woman, they were much older than the first two, looking to be in their late forties. The lines on their faces were weary, but their eyes lit up as they looked at the girl and child in front of them. Towards the edge of the photograph you could just make out the hand the man had around the woman shoulders, half embracing half resting. I tried to get my mind aorund the fact that I was looking at Frank's family for the first time. And, if Frank was to be believed, these people were now all dead. The thought sent chills down my spine, and without saying a word to Mikey, I quickly reached for the second photograph.

This one was different. It was just two soldiers, their arms slung loosely around each others shoulders, as they looking laughingly into the camera. The military uniforms would have been intimidating, but the two looked so young and carefree, it made a wonderful picture. It took me a whole ten seconds of staring before I realised the man on the left was Alicia's father.

"So he kept them then" a voice said heavily from behind us, and Mikey and I almost jumped out of our skin. Alicia's father moved forwards, and took the pictures from us, gazing at them, his expression unreadable.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Mikey cried, looking like he was barely resisting shaking Alicia's father. Before he could answer, I grabbed the first picture back, scanning it more intently. While the first time I had only looked at the people in the pictures, this time I focused on the background. And gasped.

I turned to Alicia's father. "Mr...?"

"Simmons. Dr. Simmons" the man offered.

"Dr Simmons, what do you know about these pictures?" I said quickly.

Dr. Simmons looked sad for a moment. "I gave them to him many years ago." He said softly. "I needed to prove to him he could trust me, that I had known his family. That man in the second photo is his father."

I knew I would have time to ruminate on the small questions later, and I stored this away as another detail that needed to be cleared at a later date. But for now, I didn't have time. It was the first picture I needed to focus on. I wanted to know why I could see in the background of the first picture, somehow, unbelievably, the very landscape I had drawn into my own drawing of Frank at home -a landscape I had only seen in my dreams. I wanted to know why Frank, his mother and his grandparents were all standing somewhere behind the edge of a set of cliffs, my cliffs. And I wanted to know where it was.

Without any time to explain about the drawing, or the missing guitar, or the significance I was suddenly drawing from both, I frantically asked Dr. Simmons where the first picture had been taken.

Looking surprised at the question, Dr. Simmons answered me. "That picture, I believe, was taken at the Palisade cliffs. The family liked to go there some weekends."

And just like that, I knew where Frank was. I didn't have time to second guess, I didn't have time to remind myself how ridiculous it was that I was hanging all my hopes on a dream I had once had. I just had to believe he would be there, because this was the last chance we might have to save him.

Now, how were we going to get there?

Just as I was forming my thoughts into coherent words, and trying to explain to Dr. Simmons and Mikey why I knew Frank would be there, and why we had to hurry, the door which had drifted shut, opened with a bang. Light flooded the room, and we squinted at the sudden appearance of another person.

"Mikey! I got your messages, I drove here as fast I could. What happened?!"

A figure was suddenly illuminated in the doorway, looking like nothing more or less than an angel, appearing to save us all.

I could only grasp the briefest aspects of the situation for a moment: Alicia was here, and she had a car.

But I only had time for a brief thank god, before I realised who else was in attendance.

Namely, the father she hadn't seen in over eleven years.

Oh shit.

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Well, this is interesting. I wonder what will happen next.

Oh wait, I already know what will happen next. You don't? Oh, well isn't that just a pity.

Ahem, my apologies. Yeah this was originally written as one enormous long chapter, but it became so long that I gave up and split it in half. But so you forgive me for that amendment, the second half will be up TOMORROW. Because if I was you, I wouldn't be able to wait a week either.

"I don't want the world to see me...cause I don't think that they'd understand."

-Hana Belladonna xoxoxox

Oh p.s. For those of you who don't know, I'm one of those fag artist types, as so wonderfully scripted in TDK. I just got a DeviantArt account, so if you want to see more of the inane, ridiculous, potentially deeply traumatising nonsense that comes out of my head, check me out. There's even a picture of me there! (Covering eyes to prevent injury highly recommended)

hanabelladonna . deviantart (Remove spaces)