Sorry it's been ages. Thanks btw too =)

Chapter 25

The sky was dark and as dawn approached the swollen clouds turned a bleak grey. The wind was wild and the rain hammered the windows of Harry's bedroom but the couple on the bed slept oblivious to the awful weather outside. The dark haired man's body was half wrapped around his love. His light snoozing mirrored his contentment, blissfully happy in his deep sleep. The blonde lady, his love, stirred completely unaware of her devoted protector; she was smothered by pain in darkness; she frowned and fidgeted…

And so, it happened again… and again… again, the unbearable pain, and again the agonizing cramping, and again, the paralysing violation… feel trapped, claustrophobic, want to move, afraid to move but can't…

Nikki finally willed her eyes open; she was in bed. She was in Harry's bed. She was safe yet she was afraid. Harry's loving arm was now a dead weight across her chest, his protective hold now made her feel confined. She wanted to move but she couldn't, or rather she knew she shouldn't; this was Harry whom she loved, he was not going to hurt her, nonetheless anxiety and panic slowly grew like a guilty conscience. She fought it back, breathed steadily and deeply. Her eyes were wide as she absorbed her loving surroundings. She listened to the wind and the rain attack the window, she listened to Harry breathing. And still the panic rose. Nikki turned her face to Harry's to examine his jaw line, his lips, his delicate eye lashes and she considered kissing him but the weight of his arm and his physical proximity stifled her; she wanted him away from her. Her skin was clammy and her pulse began to race through her veins as she tried to tell herself that it was Harry's body pressed against hers, Harry's arm over her. Nikki decided that she was a terrible person because after everything Harry had done she didn't want him near… even when she remembered the fact that he loved her regardless, still wanted to touch her in spite of everything, but she wanted him away from her. The more she thought about this, the more disgusting she felt; his embrace slowly became their callous hands. She couldn't bare Harry near her revolting body. She struggled from under him and headed for the shower.

Harry's body instantly missed the warmth and contact from Nikki. He yawned and stretched trying to find her in the empty space beside him. Uncomfortable, he eventually prised open an eye which was greeted by the harsh green illumination of his digital clock, 04:53. The familiar sound of the bathroom taps forced his half conscious brain to think, Nik's gone the loo, be back in a sec. Exhausted he promptly resumed his light snoring, his body outstretched on the bed.

The next time Harry managed to open his eyes the clock read 06:27; it was another hour until the alarm was due to go off and after the initial joy of that realisation, he became conscious of that fact that Nikki's side of the bed was still empty. He listened out for her morning ritual of making coffee and toast but instead all he heard was the constant drumming of the shower in the bathroom. He thought it was a little early for her to be taking her shower, but he rolled over and drifted in and out of sleep for another 20 minutes until he finally pulled himself from the bed to ease his hunger pangs with cereal and toast.

Nikki stood under the scolding water and scrubbed the shampoo suds from her hair for the fourth time that morning. She pulled a sodden section of her hair to her nose; she could still smell their cigarette smoke and alcohol. She pressed her fingers into her scalp and rubbed as hard as she could, until the water ran soap free. She again grabbed the sponge and squeezed an excessive amount of shower gel on to it; she turned her neck to examine the healing bite on her shoulder and began her cleaning assault on the wound. It stung but she needed to make sure that there was no trace of them on her, no matter how microscopic. She attacked every inch of her body in this way until she was drained of energy; she stood arms folded underneath the steaming water, still able to feel them on her bare skin.

The firm knock on the bathroom door and Harry's concerned voice startled Nikki and made her drop the bottle of conditioner.

"Nikki? Have you drowned? You've been in there for nearly an hour."

"I'm just- I'll be out in a minute Harry."

Harry made another pot of coffee, drank another mug full and sat waiting anxiously in the kitchen listening for the drumming water from the shower to cease. It had been 20 minutes since he knocked on the bathroom door and something told him that this was not a good sign.

Nikki watched the water wash over her pale skin, she felt hot and a little dizzy but all she could think about was getting clean. She was erasing every sordid touch from her body, for herself, and for Harry, she had to be clean for Harry. She had tried to get out of the shower an hour ago but as soon as the water stopped running she felt grimy, filthy, she was sure that she could see and feel their DNA on every cell of her being. She refused to get out of the glass cubical until she felt uncontaminated. Once again Harry knocked on the door but this time he slowly opened it, sticking his head around, eyes to the floor.

"Nikki, you need to get out of the shower, you are going to be late for work, and I need to shower too."

"I'll only be a minute Harry."

"You said that nearly half an hour ago, Nik-" he attempted to hide his concern,

"So?"

"So you'll be washing away your skin- come on, there's coffee and toast waiting for you."

"Harry just give me a minute, I want to make sure I'm clean-"

"What? Nik come one, you'll wash off all of the 'good bacteria'-" He attempted humour,

"Leave me alone, I will get out when I am ready-"

"Nik, what's going on? What's wrong?"

"I can't get clean, I can taste, smell them on me; I can see their mess on me, Harry I-"

"No you can't Nik, that's impossible" he entered the bathroom and pulled a large towel from the rack.

"Harry!" she was angry,

"I'm not looking, besides I can't see you through the frosted glass."

"Harry! Get out, leave me alone."

"Nikki, get out of the shower, this is silly-"

"No, it's not silly, I can't get clean, I can't-" She was becoming hysterical,

Harry pulled back the glass screen to the cubicle, thrust his arm in and attempted to turn off the shower however this proved futile as Nikki pushed him and tried to shut the screen on his arm. Undefeated, Harry forced the small glass door open, stepped in and wrapped the towel around Nikki's slight frame. The water sprayed his eyes and his clothes quickly became sodden. Nikki cried, and pummelled him with her palms, and when Harry lifted her she kicked and screamed,

"I don't want to, please don't make me, get off me, please don't-"

Harry's heart shattered into a thousand pieces but he knew he had to get Nikki away from the water, he also knew she didn't want him to move her but it was the only way; he knew how stubborn she was. He carried her struggling form to the sofa, sat down and held her firmly to him as she still writhed and thrashed in his arms. Harry tried to console her, telling her that she was clean, it was only in her head, and she wasn't disgusting and never had been.

At long last Nikki became weary, and her body became limp; she clutched his T-shirt, crawled into his lap and cried. She cried whole heartedly, she cried for Harry never to leave her, she cried for what they had done to her. Tears of injustice, but above all tears for herself. When the anguish had subsided, and the sound from her sobs were replaced by Harry's light breathing, she looked up at Harry and he responded by gently kissing her forehead. Nervously, Nikki waited for Harry to speak; she was ashamed and horrified at herself, but these emotions were settle by Harry's wonderful smile,

"Well… it wasn't exactly how I imagined our first shower together, Nik." He too waited anxiously for a response.

"God I love you Harry Cunningham."

Hope it was okay. Will update quicker now =P