A/N: well…..fuck, you guys know I was late, 4 months late to be exact….it was a cross between procrastination, being gay, 4 new beta readers to attend to, playing battlefield and getting my 4700th kill with the MK3A1 (just 6000+ until my 10000th!) and, some major writers how-the-fuck-do-i-fix-my-plot block, even stooping low enough to have myself in the story, providing support…fuck! I swear I will make it up to you homies, but in the time I was procrastinating I made a short story bashing call of duty, read it if you want. Well, starting from where we left off a while back…..

Chapter 26: the final solution (yes, this is a Hitler reference)

As the portal dumped marcus in the middle of a field, his radio that could get messages through time rang…somehow.

He picked up the quantum 4th wall breaking Iphuc phone and listened as Blackburn gave his orders:

"you are about 1/3 to the beginning of this story. The elements of douchebaggery have been put in place, eliminate all but applecrack, and then you'll head back in time a bit more, to fix several other problems…"

Marcus looked at the weapon Blackburn had given him; it was a MP-412 Revolver Export, with a shiny chrome finish and its black finish on its handle was accented with the hitman logo from the silverballer.

He looked up and saw that he was in a field outside of cloudsdale, and in the skies above was the battle between Cloudjumper and rainbow dash…this was his convenient chance to stop it!

As he aimed up, something occurred to him:

They were up pretty high. How was a pistol going to reach up there?

He picked up his phone and called Blackburn, asking for advice; before Blackburn responded, a FIM-69 "anus avenger" SAM spawned in front of him as Blackburn hung up; apparently, Blackburn was this desperate to fix his story and this universe.

He picked up the launcher and began locking on to Cloudjumper from the ground;

(a fuckton of feet up)

Dash was speeding as fast as she could to ponyville; maybe someone could help her; this pony was just as fast as her, and twice as dangerous; she turned her weapons systems on as the air radar beeped as small caliber bullets whizzed past her body, it wasn't a time to run, but a time to fight.

She tightened her muscles as she did a 90-degree vertical, and swooped down on jumper, but before she could open fire, her suit's VI reported: "WARNING…ACTIVE AAA SCANING DETECTED."

She muttered "what the hell…" but before it made sense, she saw a SAM streak out of the clouds below, and slammed into Cloudjumper, turning her into a red mist.

She checked her radar and saw a single contact on the ground, human, dropping a launcher and heading off to the ponyville area. She did a steep dive to see who it was.

(back on the ground)

Marcus dropped the launcher and smiled; one down, six more to go.

He ran off into the forest to get to his next target, but before he could get to the treeline, a rainbow colored steel streak slammed into the ground in front of him; he had his pistol drawn, but it was pushed aside by a alarmed rainbow dash "marcus…what are you doing here!?"

He lowered his pistol and said "look..i can't tell you! It may ruin this set in time! Besides, I am on a mission!"

Dash shook her head and said "look…I don't know what your mission is, but unless it's a mission where you are traveling back in time to save everyone in the future so you have to knock me out to save us all, you better start talking!"

Marcus weighed his options, and without any thought, he knocked dash out and turned on her retrival beacon to have the cloudsdale airforce pick her up; he knew they would be here in 3 minute sor less, so he took off toward his next spot, Fluttershy's house.

(meanwhile, in the 5th dimension, in present time…)

Chuck norris ducked as the reaper fired yet another blast at his unstoppable abs he got using the total gym; as the reaper prepared to fire again, it shuddered as rainbow dash disappeared from it's core, and she materialized next to him holding a SAW, firing at the reaper.

Zane, who was watching the whole thing ran up to dash and said "how did you get here!?"

Dash looked at him like he was crazy and said "I was here the whole time! Marcus got me into the 5th dimension before the final assault on the HUB to help you guys! Stop stalking, and start shooting the reaper!"

They both shrugged and began firing at the reaper again.

(back on equestria…)

Marcus was in a ditch about 30 meters from Fluttershy's house, and watched as she attended to her garden; he pulled out his REX and waited; he saw flutterbitch heading up to Fluttershy's house now. He got up and began to jog over.

(at fluttershy's…)

Fluttershy walked up to her garden and said "oh, hello angel bunny, how are you today?" Fluttershy said as the small rabbit flicked her off. " you must be hungry!" she cooed; the bunny facepalmed as Fluttershy placed ANOTHER carrot in front of him, making that number 257 for today….

As Fluttershy walked to the house, she felt something hit her in the back of the head; she turned, expecting a angry angel bunny, but instead saw a grayish-yellow Pegasus was standing there, glaring at her.

Fluttershy in almost a whisper said "oh….uhh, hello my names—"

"SHUT UP BITCH!"

Fluttershy stammered; this pony was hyper-aggressive, so she started trying to get into her house; as she reached for the knob, she was tackled to the ground as the other pony started punching her; as she began to scream for help, a large black-clad blur tackled this evil version of her to the ground; she ran into her house and began to hide, peering out the window as the action began.

Marcus huffed and be kicked flutterbitch in the head, watching the blood trickle out of her nose; she got to her feet and yelled "TAKE THIS YOU BITCH!" and stabbed him in the shoulder with a garden tool lying on the ground

Marcus winced in pain as the hoe drove a hoe into his shoulder, splitting the meat from the bone.

He slammed her against a wall and scraped her face against the small rock fence, covering it in blood as he grated her face against it; he kicked her in the gut, watching her cough up blood.

She tried to cuss him out again, but he crushed all her ribs with his boot, then shot her in the head with his REX; as he opened the revolver to load in some new ammo, he stuck some bio-gel on his wound and ran off before Fluttershy or anyone else could ask him why he had done it.

His mission was going better than he first thought.

A/N: I need to thank the guy who gave me the idea to use A/N instead of saying authors note; anyway, in this chapter the parts where he saves the respective E.O.H, its when it happen from the first few chapters, so he's pulling some back to the future shit in this place. Also, for those who dare see flutterbitch mistreat Fluttershy (*cough* the guys who accosted me for killing her in the first story *cough*) I made her death and killing as reasonably graphic as I could when typing this a 3 in the morning. Damn, I need a beer right about now.

Well, I just want to tell you guys, I thank you for having patience with this messed up ol' writer; I have this story under control, and the next chapters are rolling off the presses, no interruptions at all. After I finish this story in a few weeks, I will have time to focus on my battlefield and fallout stories, as well as my mass effect parody. My call of duty one should be done in a week or so; no more than 5 chapters, I think.

Well, read and review then confess your love to me—shit, I was swapping tabs between adult friend finder, ignore that last one- read and review, then stay on your toes, my homies.

ITS ALL ABOUT THAT 2 CHAINZ!- no, seriously though, take care mate, do not look up that stupid rapper if you like brain cells.

-"lord" Michael blackburn