Disclaimer: Not mine.
1 September 2004 – Home of Nicky & Leah Giovaissi, Brooklyn, New York
"You're having me escorted out of my parents' home?" Lil managed to sound indignant and disbelieving. Considering she was sitting on the floor of her parents' lounge, hands cuffed behind her back, the indignance was understandable, the disbelief was somewhat of a surprise to the four people looking down at her.
"What action, exactly, do you expect me to have taken against you, under the circumstances?" Helena enquired. "Think about your behaviour, Ms Giovaissi. You arrive late and, as Detective Eames observed, intoxicated for an extremely sensitive and important meeting. You give no reasonable explanation for your laxity. You then refuse to face the reality of the situation you have placed yourself and your family in. You choose to compound the situation by attacking, or attempting to attack, not one but two police officers. One of them being the father of your child. You should consider yourself lucky that, for the moment, you are not facing anything more serious than being removed and escorted home."
Lil pouted and in an almost childlike voice addressed Bobby. "Please, Bobby, take off these cuffs."
Bobby looked around at the others. Alex shrugged, she would let this be his call. Nick shook his head slightly. Helena, now stony-faced, responded to Lil's request.
"Ms Giovaissi, I don't believe it would be in the interests of Detective Eames' personal safety to allow Detective Goren to release you at this time."
"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Bobby. He knows I wouldn't really hurt her." Lil's voice was petulant, but there was no hint of sincerity or apology in her tone.
"At this moment, Lil, I'm not sure what you might do." Bobby glared at his ex-girlfriend. He reached down and gripped Lil's upper arms, dragging her to her feet and looking deep into her eyes. "What the hell is going on in that head of yours? You cannot expect me to uncuff you. You just tried to attack Alex. She's carrying my children. She's about to become my wife. You expect me to put your comfort above her safety?"
Lil tried to stepped closer to Bobby, who was holding her at arms' length.
"She … she stole you from me. She came between us … back when you moved to Major Case … this whole situation … this entire mess … it's all her fault. Can't you see that? If you'd never met her. If you'd been partnered with someone else … then we'd be a real family … you, me and Sammi. We can still be a family, Bobby. We can try again. I can forgive you for letting her do this to us. I … I can stop drinking, if that's what you need me to do. I can change … take more of an interest in your hobbies. I could go to meet your mother … I'll learn to put up with you spending so much time on her." Lil was rambling, seemingly unaware of the expressions of amazement on the faces of the people around her.
"Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick." Alex darted out of the lounge, heading for the bathroom. The emotional overload of the meeting, combined with her morning sickness, sending her stomach rolling.
With Alex out of the room, Bobby released his grip on Lil, wiping his hands down the sides of his jacket, unconsciously attempting to remove all traces of the woman from his skin.
"Enough, Lil." Nick decided to try and reason with his daughter, who was again taking a step towards Bobby. Her father's hand came out to grip her arm, stopping her in her tracks. "You can't go on like this. Bobby was never in love with you. He never made you any promises. You two barely even had a relationship. Alex has never done anything to you."
Lil rounded on her father, shaking off his hand. "You … you're happy about this whole thing aren't you? You see this as your chance to pay me back for being such a disappointment to you and Mama. You don't trust me to take care of Sammi and you're getting sick of taking care of her. Why can't you just leave us alone? Why can't you let me take care of her myself? I can do it. I can be a good mother. I can change … I can … I just need Bobby to help me." Her words were spoken in a low, angry hiss.
"This is your perfect solution isn't it, Papa?" She spat out the last word. "You take my baby away from me and you don't have to take care of her so much any more. You get to see her with a 'proper' family. Not like her being stuck with a disgrace of a single mother. You get to ruin my life."
Bobby's words cut across Lil's venomous tirade. "The only person ruining lives here is you, Lil. Looking back … I should have seen the signs … when we were together. Even then you couldn't get through an evening without taking a drink … usually several. My god, you're lucky Sammi wasn't born with problems because of your drinking. What's the problem, Lil? Can't face up to a little real life? Couldn't deal with the fact that after high school, when you got out into the big wide world, you suddenly weren't the prettiest girl in every room? You weren't automatically the centre of attention wherever you went? Welcome to reality, Lil. You don't get to be head cheerleader forever. You're so shallow all you can bring yourself to worry about is yourself. You've never given a damn about Sammi, have you? Except when you could put her on display, when she could make you seem more like a more interesting, better-rounded human being. Afterall, everyone loves a Mommy, don't they? Did anyone ever question why she spends so little time with you, or did you simply never admit that to the people you were showing her off to? How many nights do you think that little girl has spent lying in bed, wondering why her mother can't take the time to come to school and see her teachers? Why you're not there when she wakes with a nightmare or when she's ill? Why you can't at least be here for her when you've promised you will be? What do you think you're doing to her, Lil? Why would you think I would be in the least interested in leaving Alex, abandoning the children that she's carrying, for you?"
"Because I love you." There wasn't a trace of irony in Lil's response to Bobby.
"Love me … you don't have the faintest notion what it is to love someone. To go through the trauma of losing the most important person in your life and still worry more about what's happening to his family than how his loss will affect you? Could you even begin to start living again, risk loving again after something like that? Do you have it in you to carry a child that isn't your own? Knowing that when the pregnancy is over you'll be left with nothing but empty arms and the memory of what it feels like to have that child moving within you? You're not fit to step on Eames' shadow, you could certainly never take her place. She cares for those she loves – you expect to be cared for and give nothing in return. She'd die, or kill which for her would be worse, to protect any child – you can't even give up five minutes of your time to protect your own child. She gives – you do nothing but take. You say she stole me from you – what makes you think I was ever yours for her to steal. I never gave the slightest indication that we were anything but short-term. We had some fun – that's it. You never got to know me because I never let you in. I never wanted to let you in, you weren't important enough to me. I've been Alex's for the taking since I realised she was staying, that our partnership was going to work, for both of us. That didn't happen until after me and you were already over and done." Bobby circled Lil as he spoke, his contempt for her dripping from every word he spoke.
"You have no idea how much you have to sacrifice when you really love another human being. Would you have willingly given up most of your adult life to care for a parent who had been unable to care for you during most of your childhood? Have you any perception of what it takes to keep forgiving the people who should be there for you when they continually let you down, time and again? How many chances have your parents, your brothers, given you to clean up your act, Lil? How many times have they covered for you when Sammi arrived here on a Monday morning with a bruise or a graze or a cut that you couldn't remember how she got? How many times have they warned you that you needed to pay more attention to your child? I know for a fact Sam and Peter have offered, more than once, to help you make your apartment safer for Sammi. Why'd you never take them up on the offer? Didn't want to risk some new 'boyfriend' being put off a quick roll by there being evidence around that you had a kid? Couldn't have your image tainted by your 'home' being less than perfectly styled? Is how other people see you really so much more important to you than your daughter's well-being?"
Nick stood staring at Bobby as he circled Lil. He was suddenly all too aware of why Bobby was spoken of in such mixed terms by the members of the family who served on the police force. If this was the way Bobby could teardown a suspect's defences it was no wonder he'd made it to such a high profile unit as Major Case. This was not the usually easygoing, caring man he thought he knew. This Bobby was getting deep inside Lil's head, pointing out each of her flaws, every mistake she'd made and throwing them in her face without any seeming care for how she reacted. The certainty and resolve with which Bobby was picking apart his daughter was almost shocking to the older man.
Helena watched with interest, as each of Bobby's observations and questions hit Lil like a physical blow. The younger woman seemed incapable of responding, beyond attempting to lean forward and get closer to Bobby each time he completed a circle and was once again immediately in front of her, and an occasional gasped 'Bobby, please' which escaped Lil's lips in a stricken tone. Each time Lil leaned towards him Bobby stepped away a little more quickly, continuing to circle, never breaking off in his analysis of her actions. Helena had been surprised when Bobby hadn't reacted physically to Lil's attempt to assault Alex. Now she realised this was his favoured mode of defence, or assault depending on how you viewed the scene, not physical but psychological. He had waited until Alex was safe from any further physical threat, until Sammi was safely out of hearing range and distracted, and now he was moving in on his prey. Helena had known, from the file she had received, that the detective was a criminal profiler but she hadn't expected to see him use his skills to such devastating effect.
Lil stood in the 'eye of the storm', 'the storm' that was Bobby Goren pushed to his limit. She had made the mistake of threatening Alex, of posing a risk to his children, Sammi included. He wasn't worried about what Helena or Nick might think, all that concerned him, at this moment in time, was making damn sure that Lil got the message loud and clear – he wasn't playing games here – Alex, their future children and Sammi were all off limits to Lil, he had no interest in 'turning back the clock', Lil needed to realise that she meant nothing to him beyond the fact she had given birth to his child. With Sammi and Alex out of her physical reach for the moment he intended to get that message across.
Alex had finished cleaning herself up and returned to the lounge just as Bobby started to 'prod' Lil about how her family had covered for her throughout Sammi's life. She stood, leaning against the doorframe. She was familiar with this routine, if a little surprised that he was employing it at this moment. She had not expected him to react like this to Lil's behaviour, treating her as though he were interrogating a suspect, breaking down her defences with no compunction whatsoever. She felt a sudden rush of pride and gratitude; this was for her, for his children; he was never going to allow this woman to put any of them at risk again. She knew he would, without a second thought, gladly take a bullet to protect her but to see him stripping Lil bare, attempting to destroy her carefully constructed image of herself, when she knew his first instinct would normally have been to try and protect the other woman as much as possible, reinforced her conviction that she had made the right choice in taking their relationship beyond the bounds of friendship. She was unconscious of the fact that she was running one hand lightly over her stomach in an ages old protective gesture shared by all pregnant women.
Bobby came to a standstill immediately in front of Lil and looked her straight in the eyes.
"You have proven, in every choice you've made since the day you found out you were pregnant, that you are not fit to be a mother. All I have to be thankful for is that you didn't choose to terminate the pregnancy and that you're drinking didn't cause any harm to Sammi. Alex told you at Tina's party and I'm telling you now – you are certainly not fit to be a mother to my child. I want nothing, and I mean nothing, more to do with you other than to allow you the minimum visitation possible with Sammi. That'll probably turn out to be more time than you currently spend with her in any case. You're carelessness, your neglect, your complete indifference to her have caused that baby nothing but pain. Hopefully having a father and a stepmother who actually give a damn about her will help to erase some of that pain. I will not allow you to do any further damage to my daughter."
He ignored the tears sliding down a now silent Lil's cheeks and turned to Helena.
"When the guys from the precinct get here I want her taken to Manhattan SVU. They can start a child endangerment enquiry with regard to Sammi past welfare. I'll also be asking them to contact ADA Carver. I'm bringing charges regarding the breaking of the restraining order." Bobby turned slightly and looked at Alex. "If attempting to assault Alex doesn't count as harassment, I don't know what does."
Helena nodded, she could see why Bobby would want to bring charges against Lil. This wasn't about revenge, this was about protecting his family. That kind of motivation she could definitely understand.
Nick stepped towards Bobby. "You sure you have to do that? I mean, couldn't you …" he stopped talking when he saw the expression in Bobby's eyes.
"She's had too many excuses made for her, Nick. She's your daughter and you love her and I can understand that but I can't allow her to threaten Alex and the kids. I'm sorry it's come to this but I can't let this slide." The apology was for the pain that Lil's being charged would cause to her parents and Sammi, not for his actions. Bobby walked over to join Alex. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just morning sickness, again." She nodded, smiling softly and laying a hand gently on his arm. "You?"
"I will be. Look would you mind going through to Sammi's room for a few minutes, and letting Sammi come out and say goodbye to Lil. I don't want her to see her mother in cuffs. This doesn't mean I don't think you can't take care of yourself or our babies but I don't want to take any chances … I'd rather you weren't in the room when I take the cuffs off her." His eyes searched her face, hoping not to see anger there at his request.
Alex didn't disappoint him. "That I kind of overprotectiveness I can learn to live with. I'll go have a word with Leah and they'll be out in a minute. Okay?"
"Thanks." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze where it rested on his arm, before she turned to walk back down the hallway.