A/N: I'm uploading another chapter today, because hey I finished another so why not. And I got a renewed inspiration today for this story. Again, there's some self harm in here, and this will probably be that last chapter that says anything on it too deeply for anyone who would rather avoid that topic. Enjoy the double posting!

"You said you keep seeing someone when you meditate?"

"Yeah. A little girl."

"You don't know who she is?"

"I have no idea. She looks a lot like my coworker actually… But I just met her a few weeks ago, there's no way it could be her."

Zoro had mentioned to Robin about an image he sees while deep in meditation. He has progressed very quickly in meditation; Robin is very surprised at how fast he picked it up. But this girl really seems to be troubling him. He always gets a look of apprehension when he speaks about her.

"Does she ever say anything to you?" From what she had gathered about Zoro's subconscious so far, she would not be all too surprised if he had a figure in his mind that spoke to him. He has very troubling thoughts, and if he doesn't want to believe that these thoughts are his own, then maybe he fabricated something and envisions the thoughts originating from that source.

"No. It's like she's just looking at me." Zoro's face is pinched in deep concentration like he is trying to recall the image without summoning a deep meditative state. "It's almost like…" He lets out a deep sigh and runs a hand through his green hair. "Why do I feel like I know who she is?"

"Maybe you do."

"I didn't know anyone when I was little, though. I had no friends. It makes no sense for me to know a little girl." He slumps down in the chair across from her and closes his eye in frustration.

Zoro has been getting increasingly frustrated as their sessions progress. She can tell speaking about himself at this personal of a level is really straining on him, but it must be done. Robin has gotten Zoro to explain what he is currently feeling, why he felt the need to seek her help in the first place. And while she was aware that the man has a subconscious violent streak, Sanji had told her about the night he tried to kill him after all, she was not quite aware how strongly this feeling had been affecting him. The constant need to control himself from lashing out at strangers, the bloodlust, the dreams he's had about hurting others and especially his cook. He doesn't feel like anyone is safe around him, that's a large part of why he disappeared for a week; he was terrified that he might do something regrettable if he stayed.

And now he is suddenly seeing a vision of a little girl that he can't place. The poor man is at the end of his rope. He thinks he is positively committable, and he very well may be, but Robin would really like to keep that from happening.

Robin stands from her chair to make some tea for her green haired friend. He needs something to calm down with. She decides to give him a break and speaks of other topics while she prepares a cup for him. She has found that speaking of Sanji is usually the best way to ease his mind.

She can see that Zoro is not up for continuing today and sends him home. Once he gets into a certain headspace there is no coming back for a while.

After he leaves, she settles down on her plush couch with a cup of coffee and reflects on what he has told her. Her friend really is an interesting person, she is very glad he finally decided to come to her. And as much as she would just like to pick his brain for personal interest, she really does need to focus on helping the man. She has been on a search for what could have provoked these thoughts in Zoro. Where did they come from? He feels that they originated from the organization. He only ever felt any sense of bloodlust after joining them. But Robin knows it must have come from something else. His brain was altered in some way, and simply joining a group would not have been a strong enough catalyst to do that. Killing countless people will turn a man emotionless and elicit strong feelings of regret and self-loathing, but there is so much more to Zoro's troubles than just those.

She has found out a great deal about the man. He refused to ever speak of his past before; there wasn't a single one of them who could say they knew where Zoro had come from. But now Robin knows almost everything about him. She uses this information to try and piece together the puzzle that has become Zoro.

The only thing she doesn't seem to know about him is what he doesn't know about himself. He has no idea who his family was. She gets curious and pulls out her laptop. None of them had ever thought about looking up their friend. He likes his privacy, and the thought had never really crossed their minds and he doesn't seem too interested about looking himself up. She navigates to a database of newspaper articles and types in 'Roronoa' in the search bar. Perhaps something will appear.

Nothing catches her eye at first. The last name isn't all that common, but there is nothing that screams Zoro's family to her. She narrows her search down to the city that Zoro said he came from. He may or may not have been born there, but it doesn't hurt to look.

Her heart stops in her chest when she comes across the article she's looking for.

She is now tasked with the decision of whether or not she tells him.

-:-

Sanji is so glad Zoro decided to finally speak with Robin. Like he is over the moon that the man has taken it upon himself to seek help. He's finally realized that he can't do this alone anymore.

But that does not mean Sanji likes to be around Zoro after he comes back from Robin's. Whatever she says to him or does to him makes him one moody ball of moss. He's started contemplating not stopping by on those days, but that will definitely mean the moss won't be eating dinner so he drags himself to the small apartment and prepares himself for what he'll find.

Most days he finds the stupid green monster meditating on the floor. He's been losing track of time when he does this and gets frustrated every time he realizes Sanji made it inside the apartment without him knowing. Sanji has stopped poking fun at him for it; he knows it helps and making fun of him for that is just mean.

Today is just like most days. He enters Zoro's meager apartment and finds him seated with his eyes closed. He doesn't even bother trying to speak to him. He's holding one of his swords across his lap today. That's new. He did say this practice was mainly for swordsmanship so Sanji supposes it's not too surprising. He disregards the man and heads over to the kitchen to start prepping for dinner. The moss head starts stirring not too far into slicing the first few ingredients.

"Hey, how was Robin's?" All Sanji receives in response is a grunt. Yep, he's in the post-Robin funk. He seems to eye Sanji warily before grabbing his sword and heading to his bedroom. He can hear the man putting his sword away then heading to the bathroom for a bit. Sanji sighs. Maybe he should just make the moss an extra meal the day before he goes to Robin's so he doesn't have to bother him in this state. He doesn't seem to be appreciating Sanji's presence right now.

Zoro reappears just as dinner is finished. Sanji notices he's not using his right hand for anything. He grabs the plate and utensils with his left then placing them on the table before grabbing a drink, again with his left hand. Usually he'll grab all of that at once. He brushes off the occurrence; maybe he's just being absent minded.

It isn't until he notices that his hand is wrapped up in some sort of bandage that he realizes he's been only using his left hand on purpose.

"What happened to your hand?"

Zoro quickly hides his hand. "Nothing. Hurt it at work."

"How'd do you do that?" Sanji is trying to make some kind of conversation with the man. He knows he probably won't get more than curt responses tonight and Zoro does not disappoint.

"Cut it."

Sanji sighs. "Is it deep?" Zoro just shrugs in response. "Can I see it?" If the cut really is deep he may need stitches, and Sanji knows Zoro will not receive them on his own.

"It's fine cook. Leave it."

Sanji decides it probably is better to just leave it and returns his attention to his plate.

-:-

He knew the cook was coming over tonight. He always does, but he was just so curious. He really should have waited until he had more time alone.

He should have known Sanji would ask about his hand. It's kind of obvious since he has a poorly wrapped bandage around his palm. He just needed to see, though.

Before he began his meditation and after coming home from Robin's, Zoro sat on the floor with one of his swords; his favorite one, the white one. He unsheathed it and placed it across his lap and just stared at it.

If he is going to try this, he might as well use one of his swords and not the kitchen knives. He grabbed the grip with his left hand and held his right out palm up. He slowly lowered the blade to his skin and dragged the sharp edge across his palm. He watched the blood ooze out of his hand then dropped his head back in bliss.

It stung, and it hurt, but it felt so good. He quickly pulled himself together.

He wanted to see if that would do anything, but now that he knows how that feels, he almost regrets trying. It seems all his mind wants to see is blood. It doesn't matter where it comes from. He's not sure if this is a good revelation or not.

He decided to sort that out later. His subconscious seemed satiated for the moment, and since he didn't actually hurt someone he didn't feel the need to drown out the sensation. He instead closed his eye and dropped himself down into that state of mind that he's come to really enjoy. He always waits for the girl to show up and does all he can to hold onto her and keep her within reach; he wants to figure out who she is. Why hadn't he ever had anything to do with her before he met Tashigi?

But every time he gets close, she's always just out of reach, his concentration breaks and he's back in his living room.

The cook is there as usual when he comes out of it, and he needs to clean up his hand before he sees him. He's not so sure the cook will be enthused about finding another outlet for his problems. He makes some kind of response to the cook's question; he didn't really hear it and quickly goes to put away the sword so he can clean up his hand. The cut doesn't seem too deep, but he's trying to finish this up quickly so he doesn't raise any questions and he doesn't look too closely. He washes it off and hisses at the stinging sensation the water causes when it runs over the slice. He finds some left over bandages from when he had to cover his eye and wraps his hand up hastily.

The cook ends up asking questions about his hand, and Zoro keeps thinking about how this was probably not the best time do try this out. He lies and says he hurt it while at work. It's plausible at least. The combination of his new revelation and seeing Robin today has made him a little grumpy. He tries to not be quite so cold with the cook, but he's having a hard time. He eventually just gives in and decides it's time for him to go to sleep. He's had a long day. He does make sure to give the blonde an apologetic kiss for being so hard to deal with today before heading off to bed.

-:-

Robin is having a tough time with what she wants to do about Zoro. On one hand, this is the man's life, it's his family and he has a right to know about them. But on the other hand, this could bring back terrible memories that he clearly did some work to bury a long time ago. He may not want to know. And it may make him worse if he knows.

But Robin is pretty sure this is why he is the way he is. She's read over the article countless times, she knows it by heart, she's looked into other sources and they all give the same devastating information. She is going to have to ask him if he wants to know. She's not sure if she should tell him, but if he wants to know then he should know. He could easily find the information himself, it didn't take her long to find it. It isn't like he had no means of finding out. He may not want to know and it would be disrespectful of her to reveal the information if he feels that way. But he also needs to know because knowing and dealing with it is what could possibly help him.

He had said he wanted to speak with her about something as well. When they see each other next, they will definitely have a lot to talk about.

-:-

Zoro is dreading his next session with Robin. He had called her and told her he needed to talk to her about something. He knows hurting himself is only going to add another problem to his list of shit and he does not really want to keep that up. He needs her to help him with that.

But he does not want to talk about it.

He is sitting in her living room again, where he finds himself once a week, waiting for her to get her usual coffee prepared. She sits down again and focuses on him. She has a different expression today, something he isn't used to seeing on her. He doesn't think he's ever seen it on her.

"There was something you wanted to talk to me about?"

Well, it's now or never. If he doesn't just say it he never will. "Yeah. I, uh… thought maybe this would help." He shows his palm to her. It has a nasty looking wound still. It's healing, but it's a lot deeper than he had originally thought so it's taking its time.

Her eyes widen at the sight. "What is that from?"

"One of my swords." He can't look her in the eye. He's ashamed that he did that. It felt so good at the time, but he doesn't want people to know about it. And he doesn't want to keep that up. He doesn't know how far he might accidentally take it. Getting carried away with meticulously sharpened steel isn't smart.

"You did this yourself?" Robin reaches out and gingerly touches the wound. Zoro nods.

"I thought maybe if I did it to myself it would keep me from doing it to anyone else."

"And what was the result?"

"It felt really good." He pulls his hand back to his lap and rubs at it with his other hand. "I don't want to keep doing that though. I was just curious. I don't want to take it too far on accident. I wanted you to tell me something that would make me not want to do that again, or something." He trails off the end of his sentence, not really sure what he wanted Robin to do about it.

"You don't want to keep doing that? Well, that's already something to keep you from continuing. And now that you've told me, I will definitely do what I can to make sure you don't continue. I am rather intrigued to find that harming yourself gives you the same pleasure as harming others, though. There seems to be a lot to this."

Zoro could have told her that. She continues asking him questions regarding how he felt after cutting his hand and relating it to how he feels after a kill, or inflicting some kind of injury on another person. She adds a lot of hm's and nods of her head as he speaks. He really wants to know what that is supposed to mean. It's like she's been gathering information up every time they speak and she's waiting for the perfect time to unleash her findings all at once on him. As much as he doesn't want to know what is wrong with him, now that he's actually talking about all of this he's a little curious himself.

Robin finishes her line of questions regarding that topic and becomes very quiet. She stands up and walks to another room and comes back with a piece of paper in her hand then takes her seat again. She looks over the paper then back at Zoro all without saying a word.

"What is that?"

She hands the paper over to Zoro. "Do you recognize any of these people, Zoro?"

He takes the paper. It has a black and white image of four people like a family portrait on it. He doesn't recognize anyone, but when his eyes reach the little girl in the picture his jaw drops.

"That's her."

"Who?"

"This girl, that's the girl I've been seeing? Who is this?"

"You recognize her?"

"Who is she? Tell me who she is!" Zoro can't believe this; Robin found a picture of that little girl. Who the hell is she? He's using every ounce of control he has to keep from demanding Robin to tell him who this is. He needs to know, it's been torturing him for weeks now.

Robin pulls the paper from his hands and looks down at it again. She takes a deep breath and still refuses to tell him who this girl is. She seems to change the topic instead. "After you left last time you were here, I thought I might do some digging. I was curious about your past and what you were unable to remember. I ended up finding something you may or may not want me to tell you about."

"What do you mean?" Why can't she just tell him? What did she find out about him that he didn't already know? And who the fuck is this girl? Why won't she tell him?

"Do you want me to tell you, Zoro? I'm not sure how this is going affect you. I want to warn you before you answer that this could have negative affects." She looks to him with a serious gaze. How much more negative can his mind be at this point?

"Tell me."

"You're sure?"

"Robin…"

"Alright." She once again looks down at the image, studies it briefly then looks back to Zoro. "This picture, this family… You see the little boy here?" Zoro nods, of course he does. "That's you."

"What?" There's no way that could be him. "Let me see that."

She hands him the paper again and he holds on it with slightly trembling hands and looks over it disbelievingly. It's black and white so he can't tell by hair color; hardly any one has green hair that would have been a dead giveaway. He doesn't really know what he looked like when he was younger. He didn't grow up with mirrors and pictures of himself after all. So he can't exactly compare what he remembers.

"How is this me?" He looks up to Robin, begging her to explain herself.

"Zoro, this is your family. That little girl, that's your sister."

He sits in stunned silence as he stares back at the image; his heart is beating so quickly he can feel it hammering in his chest, his breathing is getting rough. His sister? He has a family? Why doesn't he remember them? Where'd they go?