Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. The inspiration for TLB is credited to Lavender Mornings by Jude Deveraux. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thank you Ann and Jess, (my amazing betas at project team beta dot com) for walking me through this process.
AN: Lots of new readers and reviewers this week, welcome : ) And thank you to my friend who continue to support and recommend this story. Chapter 25 has been a long time coming, so without further ado...
Serenity
"Stephen, my God, what have you done?"
"I did what I thought was right, Janelle."
Dr. Varner stood and moved toward his wife.
"Stephen, you told me she was dead. You told Charlotte and Peter the mother was dead!"
"I had no idea, Janelle. There wasn't a chance; it was inevitable. The child would have been alone, in a foreign country, in the midst of war, with no one to look out for her."
"So you did what? You took her?" the woman shrieked.
"They told me she was dead," Bella whispered. "They told me she was stillborn." Bella took the photograph from the woman's hands. She stroked Serena's plump cheek lightly with her fingertip as tears rolled down her cheeks. "But I heard her. I heard her cry when she was born. I knew she was alive. I didn't care what the nurses said. My baby was alive."
Dr. Varner sat down and put his face in his hands. His wife walked forward and crouched down before him.
"Stephen, we have to give her back. Charlotte wouldn't want this."
Bella's head lifted from the photograph. She looked like she was going to say something, but I caught her eyes. I spun her carefully so she was facing me. My fingers wove into her hair, and I pulled her forehead forward. Quietly, I whispered against her skin.
"We need to find her, Bella. We need to see her before we decide anything else."
Dr. Varner's voice snapped my attention back to his slumped form. His head was still cradled in his hands.
"What about Peter, Janelle? This will kill him."
"This isn't our decision to make, Stephen. If you don't take them to her, I will."
After another moment passed Mrs. Varner stood, leaving her husband on the couch, and walked past us into the foyer. She opened a closet door and pulled a winter coat from its hanger. Her heels clicked loudly against the wooden floor as she walked toward the back of the house. At the sound of her clinking keys, I grabbed Bella under the arm and took her to meet Mrs. Varner in the foyer. When she reached us, she turned toward her husband.
"We're going, Stephen, with or without you, but I think you owe it to Peter to tell him to his face."
He looked up at his wife and met her eyes with a hollow, bloodshot look of his own. He sat there frozen for nearly a minute before he finally nodded and hefted himself up off the davenport.
The trip to Serena's home was a short one. It wasn't nearly as refined as the Varner's, but it was certainly comfortable and well kept. Bella trembled in my arms as we walked up the steps to the front door. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Janelle Varner knocked on the door.
Seconds later the door was opened by a blond haired man who looked to be a few years younger than the Varners. He smiled widely when he saw them.
"Janelle, Stephen, I'm so glad you could come." He paused, apparently taking in the forlorn expressions of his friends. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Let's go inside, Peter. We've brought a couple with us that you need to meet."
Peter nodded and stepped aside allowing Dr. and Mrs. Varner to enter his home. His eyes widened when he caught sight of me helping Bella take a shaky step up into the entryway.
"Please, come in. Can I take your coats?"
I lifted Bella's coat from her shoulders and handed it to the man. He looked at me, then Bella, then at his friends. Before he could utter a word, a gurgled shriek of laughter came from his living room.
My head and Bella's both snapped in the direction of the garbled coo.
Serena.
"That's Serena," he offered, lifting his shoulder to point in the direction of the room behind us. He was unable to motion with his hands which were currently occupied with our coats. "She's playing a bit before her bedtime. She tends to get a little loud when she's talking to herself."
If my heart could break, it would have done so at the exact moment I heard my daughter's laugh. I watched Peter turn and lay the coats over a desk in his office before coming back into the entry.
"Peter," Janelle called softly. "These are the Masens, Isabella and Edward Masen." She paused to swallow hard. "They're Serena's parents."
Before the man could answer his friend, before the look of shock had even registered on his face, another hysterical shriek of laughter came from the living room. Bella turned away from Peter, entranced by the noise. She walked steadily forward ignoring the Varners, Peter and even me. I followed Bella's staggered steps as she moved in the direction of the noise. The call of Sleeping Beauty's spinning wheel echoed in my mind as we made our way down a lengthy hallway, beckoned by the warm glow of a lit fireplace at the opposite end. I had one hand under Bella's elbow grounding her to me and guiding her forward, lest either of us changed our minds. I caught a row of framed portraits along the wall from the corner of my eye. In the first one, a beautiful woman stood next to Peter grinning from ear to ear. The next was of the same woman in a wedding dress, the one following that was of them both sitting on a porch swing, and the last was of a more haggard but happy looking face as it nuzzled our child in her arms. Bella's words on the train echoed in my mind.
For myself, I'm strong. For Serena, I'm her mother. What I am only matters if she's safe. We're not safe, Edward. Not now. Edward, I don't want this either, but what I want doesn't matter.
There could hardly be a worse fate than finding her only to turn around and walk away. My grip tightened under Bella's arm. Another loud and playful screech propelled us further down the hallway. With my final steps, I was graced with a sight that nearly brought me to my knees. An illuminated glow surrounded a tiny baby playing on a cheerful red and green patterned quilt. She was grabbing for her footed feet and grasping them just long enough to manage one toward her drooling, slobbery mouth. As soon as it reached her intended destination, she would shriek out a peal of laughter nearly startling herself with her own boisterous sounds. Her feet would go flying and kicking in delight before the process would begin all over again.
My heart took flight. Our baby.
I could see instantly how Mrs. Varner had recognized the similarities in me. Just like her photograph, Serena had my features in her face and along her jaw. Yet, what a photograph could never capture was the depth of her mother's brown eyes. They sparkled with delight as she turned her little head toward our approach. Another peal of laughter was abruptly halted as she stuffed a slobbering fist into her mouth. I laughed in spite of myself, wondering if that trick would work as well when she became a mouthy teenager. With that one errant thought as a guide, a wave of fierce determination settled over me.
We would not be leaving here alone.
Bella's hand reached forward to touch Serena from afar. We were still about three yards from our babbling little beauty. Bella quickly pulled back her hand as if she had been burned and covered her mouth. A quiet cry escaped between her fingers, and her shoulders shook as she rasped for air. Her legs suddenly buckled beneath her, and I caught her round the waist just before she collapsed. I half dragged, half carried Bella the remaining few feet forward until we reached the edge of Serena's quilt. Together we sank to the ground before our child. Bella collapsed to her hands and knees and crawled forward to our baby girl. She stopped just inches from Serena, to lie on her stomach, and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.
"Hello, little miracle," she whispered.
Bella reached out her hand and with the slightest touch of a single finger, she stroked the soft curve of Serena's cheek. An awed look of delight crossed Serena's face before she kicked her feet and squealed again in laughter. Her smile was instantly the most amazing thing I'd ever witnessed. More tears streamed down Bella's cheeks. I reached forward to lift her hair behind her shoulder so that I could take in the beauty of my wife looking upon her child for the first time.
I crawled forward and sat gingerly next to my wife. One hand was braced behind me, the other propped up on my bent knee. My hand covered my mouth as I shook my head in awed disbelief. I couldn't keep the smile off my face. Every image I'd ever dreamed up for Serena was now a possibility, kissing her goodnight, taking her to school, teaching her to dance and even walking her down the aisle someday. All of those images flashed before me as a bright and brilliant future ahead of us. I would protect it. I would give anything, do anything, to defend it. My head turned slightly back toward the foyer as I heard the edge of a whispered argument.
"…wasn't supposed to survive."
"…just turned up today."
"Can't imagine what you're feeling…"
"…thank God, Charlotte…"
I ignored the voices and focused my attention back on my wife and daughter. I lifted the hand that was resting on my knee and reached out my hand in Serena's direction. Her suckling against her fist stopped for just a moment as she reached forward and grasped one of my fingers. I was amazed by her ability to reach for me. Our connection entranced me as I marveled over her tight hold on my finger.
Blood of my blood, bone of my bone.
Serena turned her head toward me as she pulled my finger into her mouth. Her tiny jaw gummed veraciously against my skin. I was taken aback by how surreal this was. She was so warm, so soft and so beautiful.
"Hello, sweet princess," I whispered.
I lifted my free hand to run it lightly over her soft head and feathery copper curls. Her eyes flickered toward Bella, and she released my finger with another squeal of delight. I followed Serena's gaze to see the brilliant smile covering my wife's face. She had shifted onto her left hip and reached into her pocket to produce a tiny, long eared pink bunny. I smiled, silently thanking God once again for Carlisle and Esme. Without them, Bella wouldn't be here right now.
Bella proffered the toy to Serena who grasped onto one ear with her tiny hand and abruptly shoved it into her mouth. A joyous gurgle was muffled by her now cloth filled mouth. I smiled at Bella and nudged her playfully with my shoulder.
"I think she likes her new toy." I leaned close to her ear and kissed her temple. "But no toy could be as wonderful as seeing her mama. You're so beautiful, Bella; I can't even begin to describe it."
She turned and kissed my lips slowly and softly. Her hand reached up and cradled my cheek. I shifted to my side and pulled Bella into a seated position and flush against me. Her back was to my front. I leaned forward and placed my chin on her shoulder.
"You should hold her and rock her to sleep."
She turned to me, and I could see the longing in her eyes, coupled with hesitation. My only guess was that she was wondering how much harder it would be to leave Serena if she granted herself this gift. Little did Bella know that I had no intention of separating my wife from our child ever again. My fingers curved under Serena's tiny body. I held her firmly as she squiggled in her pink footed pajamas. My head bowed forward, and I placed a feather light kiss against her forehead.
"I love you, baby girl."
I laid Serena gently in Bella's arms. The motion seemed familiar to our little girl. The bunny's ear was quickly replaced by her thumb while her free hand continued to open and close over the bunny's terry cloth ear. I pressed my back against the davenport and pulled Bella back against my chest. My arms surrounded both my girls, and I watched over Bella's shoulder as Serena's eyes grew heavy with sleep. Together, the three of us rocked slowly. The surprisingly familiar rhythm brought us a quiet cadence of peace.
Time passed. It could have been minutes or hours, I didn't know. The house echoed around us with a garble of conversations and movement from within other rooms. The one sound that woke me from the quiet reverie of my family was the resounding click that heralded the closing of the front door. My head snapped up in the direction of the hallway. What followed was the sound of a man's footsteps slowly echoing in the confined space. My arms tightened around my wife and daughter as the blond man named Peter approached.
He slowed his steps and lifted his hands in supplication toward us. He was easing his way into the room, inching along the wall until his thigh hit the edge of a leather wing chair. He eased himself slowly into it and clasped his hands together.
"Stephen just left."
I puzzled over why he would use this to start conversation. Was Stephen going to get the police? Surely they would be on our side in this situation. It might take some time, but we would prove it; we would prove she was ours.
"He couldn't bear to watch."
My mouth snapped shut. My teeth ground together, and my arms again tightened around my family. Peter sighed, running his hands over his eyes and ending them in a prayerful pose over his lips.
"Charlotte and I were high school sweethearts," he began. "We married shortly after graduation and just before I started college. Charlotte kept house, and we began plans to start a family. Money was tight, with me being in school. I wasn't frustrated at all that it was taking time for her to conceive. I actually preferred to finish school and start my optometry practice before we had children. Years passed, and still, no child came. It was about that time that I noticed Charlotte started feeling poorly. She would brush it off, but she was often too exhausted to go to the market or do the washing and mending. She had to take long naps in between activities. I thought maybe she was pregnant. Stephen had told me that women are often tired and ill in the first few months, and I was actually hopeful that it had finally happened for us. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The doctors up in Indianapolis found some tumors. She had a number of operations to remove them, but they seemed to keep coming back. At one point they even tried a medication that was a byproduct of mustard gas." He seemed to shudder at the memory. "I refused to take her back for more. I couldn't watch the effects it had on her. Then, about four months ago, Steven brought us back a gift that made her feel better than any medication or surgery ever had, Serena." He paused to smile softly at our sleeping infant. "Charlotte didn't have that much time with her, but I assure you that in that time, she was loved. You're little one brought my wife some of the happiest days she's had in the last decade of her life. It was a gift, one I could never give her on my own, but one I am so grateful she had."
Peter took a deep breath before continuing. "I know you think I should be furious with Stephen. Hell, I know you are as is Janelle, but honestly, I'm still grateful for the simple joy this child brought to my wife before she died."
My forehead furrowed, and I suddenly pitied the man before me. Had it not been for Carlisle and Esme, I would have suffered the same agony.
"How long?" Bella asked, speaking for the first time
"She died on the twelfth of October."
A shiver ran down my spine. Five weeks? His wife was barely cold in the ground and here we were, on his doorstep, and in his home to reclaim our daughter.
I heard the approach of a woman's high heels against the wooden floor of the hallway. My eyes lifted to find Janelle standing with a large bag in her right hand and a smaller one in her left. She searched around the room until her eyes fell upon Peter's. She looked at him intently and received his nod in confirmation.
"Janelle has packed Serena's clothes and toys for you. We'll ship her crib and the other large items if you'll give us your new address."
Stunned shock erupted through me. The confused expression must have been evident on both Bella's and my face.
"I will always cherish that little girl for what she gave to my wife, but I know Charlotte would not want me to keep her from you." Tears were now evident in his eyes, and he looked down to hide his grief. "Having you come is almost a relief…almost. I would have raised her as best I could. Janelle and Stephen would have helped me too. But that little angel needs more than I can give her; she deserves to have two parents who can love her and give her their whole hearts." He swallowed a sob. "Mine just won't ever be the same."
Bella cried softly and held Serena closer to her chest. My hands rubbed gently up and down her arms as my mind tried to process the inconceivable dichotomy between my overwhelming joy and crushing guilt.
"Thank you," Bella whispered. "Thank you for taking care of her for us." She looked up in earnest to the man who was giving her back the same gift that Serena had given to his wife. "Thank you for being so selfless, for giving her the chance to know us." Bella turned toward me, and a small flash life appeared in her eyes. "We won't squander this chance."
I nodded solemnly at my beautiful wife. Together we would; whatever it took to keep her safe.
oo!OO!oo
Janelle drove us back to our room at the bed and breakfast. A surreal sense of contentment filled me as we crawled into bed. A pillow lay to Serena's left to keep her from rolling off the bed in the night. Bella crawled in next and curved her body around Serena's. Her hand lay propped under her chin. Her knees tucked up to the point where they were nearly touching Serena's tiny feet. Her body rounded to protect Serena as it had when she was still in her womb. I crawled in behind Bella, mirroring her body's curve with my own. I admired how their bodies folded into one another and an image of Bella, pregnant, flittered through my mind. I toyed with Bella's hair and stroked her arm and back as she gazed upon our child. Every few seconds Bella would lean forward and place a kiss on Serena's cheek or her head or her hand. Every kiss, every stroke, every gentle touch needed to make up for the last four months of separation.
"She's perfect," I whispered.
Bella smiled. "I know. It's hard to believe she's here." She turned back toward me and looked up into my eyes. "Thank you."
"For what? You did the hard work." I smiled and nudged her playfully.
"You know what I mean," she argued. "You fought to find her when I wanted to give up. You wouldn't let me walk away. I'm so happy to have her; it's so hard to describe what I'm feeling."
I wanted to know everything, share everything with her.
"Try?"
"Well, it's like finding a missing piece that you can't feel whole without. When I press her tiny body against my chest, it's like the click of a lock, the flip of a switch, the connection to the strongest magnet. Now that I felt her there, I never want to let her go. It's so hard to explain. it feels like an ache in my chest that heals because a piece of myself has come back to me. I've never wanted to hold and love and care and protect anything more in my life."
I wrapped my arm around her tightly and stroked the fine hairs on Serena's head with the other. The feeling was similar to the relief I felt after Bella recovered from the infection. Another anchor around my heart had released and the air at the surface of the water was finally setting us both free.
"Edward," Bella called as she leaned into my shoulder. "I'm still afraid. For her and for all of us."
"I know. It will be okay," I answered as I pressed my lips to her neck and down her shoulder. "I won't let anything happen to you, to either of you."
I meant every word.
"We have to be really careful," Bella continued. "It won't be easy traveling with an infant."
"Where do you want to go?" I asked.
"I think we should go see Alice. She's living on her own now out in the country not far from my father's house. I used my grandparents' address when Isabella Dwyer signed up for the OSS so no one should be able to track my connection to her."
I nodded but furrowed my brow.
"What is it?" she asked.
"My parents; they'll want to know what happened. They'll want to know if we found Serena. They'll want to see her."
"Edward…"
"I know, I know. It's too risky."
"Let's just see what information we get from command. What they think the security risks are. Perhaps there's a way we can let them know we're safe. Maybe we could meet them somewhere that's not connected to them for Christmas?"
I brightened at the idea of letting my mother hold our infant daughter. She would be beyond overjoyed. She needed some joy in her life. Both of my parents did.
"One thing at a time, right? First, we go to Easton and get you settled. We'll get some aliases so that you can see a doctor there. We'll find out the situation with the mole and figure out the risks before we do anything else."
I nudged Bella's shoulder playfully. My teeth lightly nipped along her shoulder.
"For now, I think we'd better get some sleep. Who knows how long it will be before this little angel is up looking for her next bottle? I think our days of sleeping in are over, Mrs. Masen."
Bella smiled in return. "I guess it's good that operatives don't need much sleep then, huh?"
I laughed a bit before kissing her shoulder once more. Bella reached down and clasped my hand in hers. She brought them up close to her lips and kissed our joined fingers before placing them firmly against her heart. I squeezed her to me while Bella lay her head down on her free arm. Her fingers curved so that she could brush them along Serena's curly hair.
"I love you, little miracle," she whispered goodnight.
I watched them both with a full heart until my own eyes became too heavy to keep open.
The Last Breath Historical Research and Reference Guide:
Chapter: 25
Title: Serenity
Story reference: Peter describes Charlotte's treatment for 'growths'.
Historical Significance: Cancer was the second leading cause of death between 1940 and 1944. Heart disease was the leading cause. A mustard gas agent was first used to treat cancer tumors.
Source: http:/www(dot)cancer(dot)gov/aboutnci/100-years-advances/page3
http:/en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/History_of_cancer_chemotherapy
Story reference:Edward describes Serena's clothing as he sees her for the first time
Historical Significance: A picture of infant pajamas in the 1940's. They're not too dissimilar from what infants wear today.
Source: http:/www(dot)gettyimages(dot)com/detail/3228295/Hulton-Archive
Story reference: Edward's words to Serena as he holds her for the first time.
Historical Significance: Blood of my blood, bone of my bone is actually a Scottish wedding vow recorded in Gaelic.
Source: http:/www(dot)proz(dot)com/kudoz/english_to_gaelic/poetry_literature/844651-blood_of_my_blood(dot)html
A/N: Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope the chapter lived up to expectations. I'd like to know if you still have the same feelings toward Dr. Varner now as you did before reading this chapter? I find it to be a tough call. So, now that Bella and Edward have her, how do they keep her safe?
Thanks for reading and let me know what you think,
-First Blush
PS. I'll be out on Twitter around 8 eastern tonight if you have TLB questions. My twitter account is FirstBlushMom, or just send me a PM. : )