Let The Ricks Fall Where They May

Written by Kat_Aclysm
Rated: - T for language

Disclaimers + Copyrights: Rick and Morty is an Adult Swim cartoon by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. Please see earlier chapters for more legal waffle.

NOTE: Sorry this chapter was/is a little late. Wanted to make sure it was 100% before putting it out there. It's also pretty full-on and involved. Keep them reviews coming, I love all your opinions and comments!

Just when you think you're in control
Just when you think you've got a hold
Just when you get on a roll
Here it goes, here it goes,

Here it goes again

- Here It Goes Again - OK Go

Chapter 25 – A Rickful of Bad Ideas

December 2nd, 9:52am , Local Ship Time, 2001
Unnamed Nebula, Space
'Verdant Harbinger', Dimension Q-316

"So you were working for the goddamn dictator of your dimension the whole time," as Rick looked up at the doctor, his expression became highly suspicious. "That seems like a pretty fucking major detail to gloss over, don't you think?"

"I-I didn't know!" Ricktus sputtered back, still emotionally charged from the discovery. "Look at my career choices, Rick... I prefer not to kill things if I can help it. Do you honestly think I would have stayed here had I known differently? It doesn't even matter now because, well, take a look around you... not a good time to believe in crystal healing. They're all very, very dead."

"Yeah," Rick dropped the papers he was holding and glared daggers at the other Rick. "So is most sentient life within the local galaxy system in your dimension. You're lucky your own planet didn't bite the big one too!" He turned on his dimensional double and aggressively shoved him in the chest with both hands. "Working for the tyrant makes you as bad as the Gromflomites themselves!"

"Don't compare my dimensional problems to yours, B-526!" Ricktus made a loud frustrated snarl as he momentarily lost his balance, then moved right back in to shove Rick in return. "Why do you even care? I didn't have anything to do with this and if I knew what was going down, then I probably would have bailed on it! I just told you that!"

Rick struggled not to screw his face up; the sudden trauma caused near-blinding pain to explode in his ribcage and his vision swam in and out of focus as he stumbled backwards to recover. "J-just seems awfully convenient, y'know...?" He panted through a blatantly accusatory tone. "How... h-how could you be so blind? Even if you didn't know what you were walking into, there must have been signs..."

"Do you think I was paying attention?!" Ricktus barked out the words so loud that they echoed off the inside of his helmet. "I was a fucking lowly medic and far more preoccupied with doing anything I could to get my grandson back! I-is that what you want to hear!?"

Rick just glowered at him as he stiffened in a pained posture, hugging himself around the middle.

"Holy shit," the doctor seemed to realize what he'd done and his arms dropped to his sides. "Did I actually hurt you? I didn't even hit you that hard." Although he regretted his actions, he was more interested in getting further details. "Can you describe what you're feeling? Are you nauseous? Where exactly does it hurt the most?"

"D-don't dodge the issue..." Rick hissed back at him through gritted teeth. "Even by providing medical attention to the assholes on this ship, you were still helping them..."

"Goddamn it, stop saying it, I fucking get it!" Ricktus attempted to pinch his brow, but his hand only met glass. He turned his head away instead and exhaled a loud sigh, which served to calm him slightly. "I don't really know what to think, but I'm not surprised. I've been to more than enough realities to know that things are fucked up no matter where you go. I knew my dimension had problems so I guess it's only predictable that these idiots were the cause of them."

"You sound surprisingly OK with this..."

"I'm not, but... there's nothing I can do about it." Ricktus quietly admitted as he turned around again and began to roll up the pile of battle plans on the table. "All I can do now is take this stuff to the Council. At the very least, maybe there's something they can learn from it."

Rick just stood there and clutched at his midsection with both hands, unwilling to move for the time being; he felt as bad as he did during the time the bird woman had hugged him and worse, the pain wasn't subsiding. "This is just one room... w-who knows what other shit you're gonna find out there..."

"I'll deal with it," Ricktus replied curtly. "I still don't know why you care so much, it's not even your problem. If it surprises you, then you need to keep dimension hopping until it doesn't." He paused in thought. "Are you annoyed that I didn't take a proactive stance against this like you did in your reality? Because look how well that worked out for you."

"F-fuck you!" Rick sharply retorted.

"Believe it or not, Rick, not all of us can be like you," the doctor finished up what he was doing and tucked the rolled up battle plans under both of his arms. "We can't all parade around the universe sticking it to the man and liberating the helpless masses. Some of us exist for different purposes."

Rick snorted in disgust. "I-is that how you're gonna pitch it? Blame the shittiness of your reality on your mediocrity and incompetence...?"

"I'm not incompetent," Ricktus's voice dipped low in warning. "All of this happened independently of me. I mean, I barely had anything to do with it. There's no point trying trying to explain it either, sometimes shit just happens." He gave a small shrug of his shoulders; although the state of the ship's central command station posed more questions than it answered, he'd already accepted it. "This changes nothing. I'm still going to work here and finish what I started. This is still my ship, my hive," he shifted the roll of papers onto one arm and pointed to one of the crystallized corpses slumped over at its battle station, "and now my dead aliens, I guess."

"Yeah, your pile of garbage, maybe." Rick growled back at him. "You know, the Council was right about one thing... you're pathetic, a-and you're always going to be while you resign yourself to this place. There's gotta be a better way to get what you want. You still think you're safe here? What happens if the toxic atmosphere leaks into the rest of the ship? Then there's looters and shit that would shoot at you just for fun. Who knows what's lurking out there in the local sector of space."

"Hypotheticals," Ricktus brushed it off with a wave of his hand. "Yawn."

"You know the Council can keep you on the hook forever by never giving you enough money for what you want, right? Your lackey already kinda suggested you get paid a pittance for this shit." He knew he'd launched into a rambling tirade by now, but didn't care. "And you're not even good at it. I mean, you needed me to pull your ass out of danger. I-I bet I could do your job with both arms tied behind my back."

Ricktus made a loud noise of disapproval. "No you couldn't."

"Wanna bet?" Rick challenged in reply, his tone suddenly cocky and condescending.

"Rick, in your current state, you couldn't do shit." Ricktus rolled his eyes; he'd clearly had enough of him by now. "You really need to sort out your priorities. You're more concerned with my state of affairs and a bunch of aliens you've never met over yourself?" He reached into his coat to produce his portal gun. "The fact that you're still holding yourself like you're trying to keep your guts in place is probably because your internal organs are finally starting to liquefy from the plasma radiation exposure. Why don't you retire to your room? I have stuff to finish up here, but I'll come and examine you as soon as I'm done."

"Go to hell!" Rick loudly declared. "I-I still think you're wrong on that one."

"And you were wrong about being fine. You don't exactly look like a perfect picture of health right now." the doctor's tone became cold as he fired a portal at the space directly behind his charge, then stepped forward push him through it. "Bye." After the deed was done, he turned to face the insect that had been patiently waiting nearby the entire time and dropped the battle plans in front of her. "Well, now that you can talk back to me, look around for more of those and tell me what you find."

The worker bee promptly scuttled away to obey her master's command.

After abruptly landing on the floor just beyond the ship's portal hub, Rick needed time to lie there and deal with the agonizing pain coursing through his chest. When he decided that it was going to remain constant, he stubbornly forced himself to his feet and discarded his helmet and breathing equipment, swearing under his breath with each movement. Once properly standing, he staggered towards the terminal hub and silently fumed the entire way; despite having been warned that his feelings of well being were only going to be temporary, he'd been fine until Ricktus touched him.

By the time he'd made it to the doorway of the giant room, he was angrily cursing and barely able to hold himself from collapsing. He dragged his feet across the floor as he headed towards Surgeon Rick's table, then heavily sank down in one of the nearby chairs, still hugging himself around the middle.

Morty was the first one to notice and acknowledged his presence with a loud joyful squeal as he began to climb over the side of his crib. "R-r-riiii!"

Rick managed to give him a small grin through the pain. "Hey, buddy... d-don't do that, OK? We've been over this before..."

Morty ignored his advice as he hurled himself to the floor in his enthusiasm, then bounded over to hug his grandfather around the legs. If the fall had hurt him, he certainly didn't show it; he was just happy to see his favorite person again.

Surgeon Rick looked up from his batch of microscope slides. "Ah, great..." He was on his feet at once and stood over the other male, his brow set in a stern frown. "The fuck happened to you now?"

"I-I think I need to take you up on that drug offer..." Rick admitted as his expression hardened, trying to cover for how bad he felt.

Surgeon Rick didn't even hesitate as he swung around again and moved away to open the drawers under his table. "Sure, bro. Got anything specific in mind?" It was spoken more for the purpose of making conversation than an actual question; it gave him an opportunity to stall and to assess his patient while he sifted through the clutter.

"Anything..." Rick huddled forwards in his posture. "I just don't want this any more."

Surgeon Rick made a thoughtful hum, then pulled a rectangular bottle of ominous looking brown liquid from the bottom of the drawer. "This stuff will knock you dead if you let it. I use it for migraines when nothing else works. It's overkill, but it'll destroy pretty much anything." He set it down in front of the scientist and moved away to look for a medicine cup.

Rick snatched up the bottle, tore the cap off, and began liberally drinking the contents without even bothering to read the label. A harsh bitterness assaulted his tongue and throat the whole way down, but he didn't care; he was willing to do anything to mute the pain.

Surgeon Rick turned around once he'd found what he was looking for and made a soft irritated sigh at the sight opposite him. "Well, OK then, just don't overdo it. That shit's seriously easy to get addicted to."

"Uh-huh," Rick burped as he recapped the bottle and stuffed it into his lab coat pocket for safekeeping. "Don't care."

"Fuckin' moron." It was only a half-assed cuff. "So did you find what you were looking for? And are you gonna keep using me as a dumping ground for your Morty every time you wanna go somewhere?"

Rick chose not to answer the second question. "We discovered a bunch of dead shit out there. Looks like your boss has more skeletons in his closet than one of those dumb haunted house rides." His attention diverted towards the nearby terminals, suddenly interested in them as his mind went in a different direction entirely. "You might wanna consider abandoning ship as soon as possible. There's just too many hazards here and you're wide open to getting looted."

Surgeon took his place in the chair at his workstation again. "Yeah, right... we're in the middle of bumfuck nowhere."

"Doesn't matter," Rick shrugged as he finally sat up again; the active ingredient in the medicine was already doing its job and the pain in his chest was lessening by the second. "If there's free shit to be had, you can sure as hell bet that somebody's gonna take it. I-it's only a matter of time!"

"I'll take my chances." Surgeon Rick yawned with boredom, then resumed looking over his batch of slides; he figured that his charge's mood swing was a good sign and was no longer concerned. "How do you know the ship hasn't been looted already? If anything even came close to us then the proximity alarm would go off. Hasn't happened in the year I've been here, isn't likely to happen either. Besides," he pulled out his Council-issue portal gun, "I can just fuck off if the shit ever hits the fan."

Although Rick knew the surgeon deserved a much more detailed explanation of what had been discovered, his attention was fully on the terminals now; he hadn't forgotten the earlier conversation with Ricktus about being able to do his job better than him, and now he had all the tools at his disposal to find any Rick in the multiverse, including the Council's most wanted.

He could prove just how much better he could do the job, and he was already convincing himself that he could bring back another one alive.

Surgeon Rick momentarily glanced up at his charge, taking his silence and attentiveness as another indicator that he was feeling better. "You gonna hang around here and add to your reports for the Council?"

"Something like that." Rick's reply was a distracted mumble as he picked Morty up and took him to the computer he had been working at previously. Once seated, he set the young boy in his lap and got stuck into the database to look for highly desired Ricks. He was immediately rewarded with twenty urgent case files along with information detailing how dangerous they were likely to be, as well as potential risk factors.

After listing them in order of priority, he waited impatiently while the screen compiled a list of the top five: B-589, C-116, C-137, C-139, and C-153.

He leaned back in the chair to make himself comfortable; the pain in his chest had almost subsided and he silently thanked himself for having the sense to hold onto the bottle of medicine he'd been given. Even as he began to read, he knew he had to be quick about the Rick he selected for retrieval; Ricktus was likely to return from the central command station at any given moment and he didn't want to be around if that happened.

He picked one in haste and spent all but five minutes reading, figuring he could make up the rest up as he went along.

"I-I gotta go," Rick said suddenly as he closed the file and turned to face his dimensional counterpart again. "Can you take care of Morty for me real quick?"

Surgeon Rick let out a frustrated groan as he put down an eyedropper he had been using to work with. By the time he looked up, the scientist was already standing beside his chair. "What is it this time?"

"You remember how you said that if I ever needed anything done you'd cover for me, no questions asked? Well, I wanna use that now." Rick quickly explained. "I need you to watch Morty until I get back, a-and I don't want you asking about it. Got it?"

"Un-fuckin'-believable... it's like you don't know how to learn." Surgeon Rick stared at him in disbelief. "Why are you doing this again? Do you like torturing yourself?"

Rick ignored his protests and dropped Morty into his lap. "I'll be back in an hour, maybe two at most." He hesitated, then added to his statement in the attempt to reassure the other. "I'm not gonna be running around doing anything stupid."

"You better fuckin' not!" Surgeon Rick chastised him. "You think I wanna pull your dumb ass to safety again? You need to stay here. You're goddamn crazy if you go anywhere in that state!"

Rick actually agreed with him; it was sound logic and he knew that he should be staying put on the ship. However, he was being driven by a different motive now – his own ego. "You still sound surprised about that."

"Don't be a smartass." Surgeon Rick gritted his teeth. "Not even ten minutes ago you were barely functional and you're gonna be like that again once that good shit wears off. You're seriously gonna do this to yourself again?"

"Yeah," Rick grunted, "I told you not to ask questions. Just do the stupid bro-code thing and shut up about it. I'll be back before you know it."

As Surgeon Rick sat there, he knew full well that he should keep pushing the issue. After a few moments of silent deliberation, he turned away and reluctantly conceded defeat; Rick had stayed true to his word and never mentioned his more unsavory habits to his boss. He stood to lose a great deal of privileges and possibly even his job if he didn't reciprocate the same courtesy of remaining silent. "Fine, but... no more favors."

Rick nodded in agreement and briskly walked across the room to steal the brainwave detector from Ricktus's table. Once it was secured in his lab coat, he exited the room again, still completely confident that he could bring back his elected candidate alive. All the logic and reasoning in the universe wouldn't be able to stop him this time and despite being the smartest thing alive, he still had one major factor going against him - he was a stubborn asshole with something to prove.

December 2nd, 8:20pm, Local Time, 2001
The Deep Hole Tavern, Muskegon, MI
Earth, Dimension C-139

The unpleasant chill of a winter's night was more than apparent as Rick stepped out the other side of the portal and straight onto the street outside of a dreary run-down bar. A light dusting of snow covered the pavement and he needed a moment to stand there and take in his surroundings; it had been so long since he'd seen planet Earth that it was jarring to the senses. People ignorantly moved through the area around him and everything looked as it should have, completely average and untouched as if nothing had ever happened there.

Rick reminded himself that nothing ever had as he pushed the front door open.

Inside, he encountered more of the same. The establishment's wood paneled walls were heavily yellowed with years of cigarette tar abuse, while the decor was very reminiscent of the 70s and definitely the kind of seedy bar he might have visited in his days as a younger man. While the stench of ashtray and stale beer hung heavily in the air, it wasn't actually a bad thing; it only added to the mundane ambiance of the place.

The scientist promptly discovered that he didn't even need to use the brainwave detector as he perched on a barstool at the main counter; his intended target was already visible from a booth in the far corner, his spiky blue unkempt hair making him so obvious that he couldn't have been anyone else.

Acting casual, Rick leaned forward to rest both arms on the bar and stared off into nothingness as he mentally visualized the steps ahead. According to the case file, this Rick wasn't flagged as potentially dangerous, so he was unlikely to put up a fight or shoot him; it was only a matter of working through how to approach him. While he couldn't deny the effectiveness of the doctor's abduction strategy, he was still bitter over it and wanted to prove him wrong. Giving their last target information right off the bat had been well received before, so he was entirely willing to try it again.

When the bartender distracted him from his thoughts by asking for an order, he waved him off; as much as he wanted to drink, he'd come here with only one purpose in mind. It must have caught the other Rick's attention, because he barely had time to turn around when he heard the sound of his own gravelly slurred voice behind him.

"Y-you... you got a lotta nerve showing up here uninvited."

Before Rick could say or do anything else, the other Rick set his mug of beer on the counter and drunkenly sank onto the barstool beside him, adopting a similar posture. The scientist's first observation was his choice of attire – they were wearing the exact same articles of clothing, which might have been strange to the people around them. His next observation was the heavy weariness this Rick seemed to carry, almost like he was worn down by his life's decisions, or perhaps he had given up on life itself.

Maybe it was both.

"What's wrong? Not enough shitty bars in your own dimension?" The Rick tilted his head in inquisition and looked at him with unfocused bloodshot eyes. "I dunno why you're here, but I don't want it. Go away..."

"You're actually in a lot of trouble right now," Rick launched into the explanation in a hushed voice, wanting to disclose as much as he could from the case file straight away. "Look, I don't know how much you know about yourself on alternate timelines, but there's a collective bunch of assholes who gather information on Ricks like me and you. I only have limited intel, but you need to leave as soon as possible. Someone here wants you dead, and they want it bad... you wanna let that happen?"

The Rick was silent as he processed the information and his expression shifted from surprised to deep suspicion, not sure what to make of it. "H-how... do you know?" He picked up his mug again and took a tentative sip of beer. "Who?"

"Don't have a clue," Rick muttered in reply. "All I know is that you're marked for death unless you get the fuck outta here. We got a lot of enemies out there, you and I. Although there's places you can go to get away from it, I'm not one of them and I'm not here to recruit you. I mean, you could just as feasibly keep yourself safe if you don't stay in one place too long. You got family you can gather up and take off with?"

The other Rick slowly nodded his head in acceptance as the words were spoken. At the mention of family, he made a soft sarcastic sound and tilted his head back to down the rest of his beer. "H-haven't seen 'em in-UURRPP years. F-fuck them..." He angrily slammed the empty mug back down on the counter.

"Whatever." Rick shrugged as he subtly turned his head to watch the other bar patrons for even the slightest sign of hostility; he looked just like his target and now he didn't trust them either. "I don't know which one of these fuckers is planning to end you, but it doesn't matter. All you gotta know is that you can't stay here."

The other Rick half-closed his eyes, far too drunk to care much about the situation. Instead, he made a soft groan and ran a hand through his hair. "Probably that fuckin' gambling debt again... shit."

"Screw it," Rick hissed, figuring his proposal could go either way. "Once you leave this place, i-it's wiped forever. You think they can get you if you're in another dimension?" A sly smirk slowly made its way across his face; he wasn't being met with any resistance whatsoever and his chances of getting this Rick on-side were looking better and better. "I can portal you outta here, but where you go after that is your own choice. What do you say?"

The other Rick looked around as if considering his options, though he had trouble focusing his eyes on anything in particular. "Don't really care," he finally admitted. "A-anything's gotta be better than staying in this dive." He had considerable difficulty standing, but somehow managed the feat anyway. "I-I got crap hiding in the alleyway that somebody should probably take care of... hang back a while. I'm gonna go take a shit."

Rick felt accomplished as he watched him drunkenly stagger off towards the bathroom, though a bigger part of him was overwhelmingly smug; it had been so ridiculously easy and couldn't have gone any better if he tried. His mind became so occupied with all manner of witty comebacks and insults he could throw in the doctor's face that it didn't even occur to him that the whole thing might have been too easy.

He occupied himself by removing the casing from the brainwave detector with a screwdriver while he waited for the other Rick's return. He didn't know it yet, but everything was about to go horribly wrong.

Now that Ricktus had gotten used to his biomechanical upgrades, he actually liked them. However, he couldn't invest much thought into them as he made his way back into the terminal hub; he had two rather pressing concerns on his mind. He took care of the first by dumping the entire armful of paper rolls he had been carrying straight on top of his assistant's microscope work and ignored the disgruntled sound he was given as he locked his gaze on the second, who was warily staring back at him from the crib nearby.

"I want to study these for myself, so I need you to make local copies before I send them off to HQ," his tone was stern and irritated. "You don't even have to stand up for it. How's your ankle?"

Surgeon Rick narrowed his eyes in contempt at the mess that had just been spilled across his table; he'd been on the verge of a breakthrough and close to isolating the active ingredient in the healing balm he'd been given back on Bird World, but an order was an order. "It's fine." He grunted back.

"Good," Ricktus gave him a curt nod. "You can start with that lot. There's easily a hundred more where they came from but those appear to be the most recent."

"The fuck even are they?" Surgeon Rick picked one at random and unrolled it to answer his question, but was only met with intricate faded lines and alien glyphs that he couldn't decipher.

The doctor's voice turned cold as ice. "You don't need to know."

"Great," Surgeon Rick scowled up at him as he set it aside. "You're in a good mood."

"I had help today." Ricktus matched his expression as he launched straight into his next concern. "I was wondering if you could fill me in on something. What are you still doing with B-526's Morty? He should have come back for him after I sent him away from our expedition. I went looking for him just now, but he wasn't in any of his typical places and his datapad's signal doesn't even appear to be on the ship."

Surgeon Rick glanced off to the side and attempted to stall for time while he thought about what to say; he hated being put on the spot.

"Where did he go, C-711?" The doctor pressed harder and set both arms down on the table, practically looming over his assistant now. "It stands to reason that he would have come here before leaving and your silence only confirms it. He must have had good reason to leave his Morty behind. You obviously know something, so spit it out already!"

Surgeon Rick gently pushed him away. "Look bro, cut it out. I don't actually know. He specifically told me not to ask questions so I didn't-"

"Why not?" Ricktus sharply interrupted. "Under normal circumstances I wouldn't care what he does or where he goes, but these are hardly normal circumstances any more. He was in a bad way when I sent him off to rest, so you must have seen him when he came in here. What happened before I arrived?"

While it was a question that the surgeon could answer, he didn't want to and gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "Dunno." The lie was obvious and he knew it.

The doctor gave him a silent glare for several seconds, torn between continuing to press for details or losing his temper. Instead, he gave a sharp frustrated hiss and turned to walk away. "You goddamned moron, I-I don't even know what to say to you! How could you be so negligent? Surely you would have seen the state he was in and stopped him. You're not THAT stupid, are you?"

Of course the surgeon knew better, but he still wasn't willing to speak about it and distracted himself by digging through the rolls of paper on his table to recover the slides he had been working on before.

"Fine. If you won't tell me, then I'll just find him myself... though I'm very disappointed with your attitude lately." Ricktus angrily muttered as he retrieved the pair of interdimensional goggles from his workstation and plugged them into one of the terminals waiting nearby. "How do you know B-526 didn't go off to kill himself?"

Surgeon Rick let out a fed up sigh. "He said he'd be back-"

"And you believed him?" Ricktus cut in. "He left you with a list of instructions on what to do with that Morty, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but I don't think-"

"You certainly didn't on this occasion! This could be the turning point in our diagnostic process and you just let him go? Why?!" Ricktus lost what little composure he had left. "Now I have to catch him again before he does something stupid, and it's going to be even harder this time... one more fuck up like this and maybe I WILL consider sending you back to HQ for a better assistant." He angrily stuffed the goggles on and began entering parameters into the computer. "What's gotten into you? It's not like you to withhold information unless you're hiding something."

Surgeon Rick did not look up, not wanting to make any indication that he was indeed correct. "Maybe I'm just becoming more like you," he grumbled, "sir." He added the last part with an edge of mockery to his voice.

The doctor did not react to the obvious disrespect as he was far more interested in what he was seeing through the screen of the visor. "What the hell is he doing there of all places? It... it doesn't make any sense." He ripped the device off his face and stormed out of the room.

After watching him leave, Surgeon Rick got up to look through the interdimensional goggles for himself, though he was just as confused as his boss had been; all he saw through his dimensional double's eyes was the inside of a trashy bar and he didn't understand. "Just what the hell ARE you playing at, bro...?"

Rick did not like waiting and was becoming restless; well over an hour had passed since his intended target had departed and he hadn't seen any sign of him since. As he rapped his fingers on the counter, his patience finally snapped and he gave up to go looking. When he didn't find anything in the bathroom, he switched on the brainwave detector in the attempt to find him that way.

There was nothing on the screen except the equivalence of one Rick in immediate proximity, which was obviously himself.

"Well shit," Rick thumped the side of the device with the palm of his hand, but the readout didn't change. "Did he fucking bail on me? He better not have..."

Grumpily, he looked through the other rooms of the bar but found nothing other than more of the usual evening clientele, pathetic and drowning in their misery. When he remembered the comment that the other Rick had hidden things in the alleyway, he went there next.

And then, just as he stepped outside and into the dim light, he found his intended target lying flat on his back next to a dumpster, looking still and completely lifeless.

"Ah, shit!" Rick strode over and fell to his knees beside the downed figure so he could push him onto his side. He was immediately met with the offensive sour stench of vomit as it spilled out of the other Rick's mouth and he had to turn his head away while he felt for a pulse in his neck, though he knew there was no point; he was cold to the touch and not breathing.

Nothing. He was gone.

He retracted his hand again and just silently stared down, not knowing what to do. There was little he could do anyway; the Rick had already been dead long enough that the blood was starting to settle and discolor the lower side of his body.

"Shit..." Rick sank back to sit on the ground and covered his face with a hand; he'd failed at the one thing he came for and now he had a corpse to deal with. Although he'd been around death many times before, seeing his own dead alternate self lying there in a crumpled defeated heap still had a surreal uneasy feeling to it. While it wasn't his fault and little more than a dumb accident, he knew he couldn't leave the body there for long; it was only a matter of time until somebody discovered it or the Council sent one of their own to collect it.

Whatever he did, it had to be quick.

Rummaging through the dead man's coat pockets rewarded him with a plasma pistol and a portal gun with no charge; at the very least he could prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. When he didn't find anything else of value, he rolled the corpse back into the position he'd found it in, stood up again, and pondered how to dispose of it.

In hindsight, that abduction strategy seemed like a pretty good idea now.

Rick reacted instinctively when he heard the sound of a portal opening nearby and dove for cover behind the dumpster. He trained his newfound pistol on the open space while he waited with bated breath, not daring to make a sound until he knew what was going to come out of it.

It was already too late to do anything.

At that moment, the last Rick in the multiverse he wanted to see stepped out into the alleyway and cautiously surveyed his surroundings with his own plasma gun at the ready. As much as Rick didn't want to see the doctor, he calmed slightly; maybe he could be reasoned with.

Ricktus took two steps forward after determining that the immediate area around him was safe, though his reaction was much the same as Rick's when he discovered the corpse. "Oh, FUCK!" He promptly pocketed his weapon and crouched down beside it to inspect it for signs of life. "Goddamnit, Rick, you fucking idiot!" He lowered his head and released a heavy sigh from his lungs, looking genuinely discouraged by his findings. "Shit... I got here too late. It finally got to be too much for you, huh?"

Rick remained in the shadows to observe, gritting his teeth hard at the fact that the other had mistaken the corpse for him. It was hardly surprising considering they all looked the same, but now it meant that any choice he made now wouldn't end well. In any other circumstance it would have provided him with the perfect opportunity to escape, but he couldn't; Morty was still on the ship. The little boy meant everything to him and he would do anything for him. He couldn't just abandon him, and certainly not now.

He couldn't run.

Ricktus hastily took out his datapad and dialed Surgeon Rick's number, practically bellowing into the receiver when it picked up. "Hey, C-711, guess what... you're an incompetent SACK OF SHIT! Thanks to you, our Rick is dead!" A pause. "No, I WISH I was bullshitting you!" He had to hold the device away from his ear and wait through the next response, which was mostly yelled at him. "I-I don't care what you do with that stupid request of his... I have this goddamn mess to clean up." Another pause. He gave a heavy sigh and calmed down. "We'll deal with it when the Council asks, though I don't imagine they're going to be thrilled with either of us."

Rick cursed liberally under his breath as he listened through one side of the conversation; now Surgeon Rick thought he was dead too. The situation was only going to deteriorate further the longer he let it go on, so he began to cautiously shuffle out from his hiding place.

Ricktus narrowed his eyes as he heard the noises nearby, suddenly suspicious. "...I'll call you back." In one swift movement he had hung up and was on his feet again. "OK, who's there?" His datapad was quickly exchanged for the plasma gun he'd been holding before and he pointed it in the direction of the dumpster. "Come on out, I'm not going to hurt you... much."

Rick's next set of movements were taken very slowly and deliberately. As he stood up and stepped into the light, he raised both hands in a surrendering gesture, his gaze closely fixed on the other. "H-hey. This looks bad, doesn't it?" It was an utterly stupid thing to say, but it was all he could think of in the moment.

Ricktus tilted his head slightly at the sight of the other Rick. "Well, well... what have we here? One of those Rickicidal types, huh? I know your kind. Riq IV's going to LOVE meeting you." He narrowed his eyes. "That's as far as you go." He fired a warning shot at the ground in front of the other's feet.

"Whoa, shit!" Rick came to a sharp halt. "Are you crazy?!"

"Aren't we all?" The doctor aimed the barrel of the gun at his head while his gaze drifted upwards and noticed his flopped over hair spikes. "Oh shit." His eyes widened in realization of who he was looking at and utter confusion grew over his face. "B-526? What are you doing here?"

Rick let out a tense breath he had been holding in. "Like I said," his gaze drifted downwards. "Looks bad, doesn't it?"

Ricktus's voice was momentarily sincere. "I'm glad you're alive," his brows set in a deep scowl. "But if you're here, then who is that?"

"Rick C-139," Rick answered at once. "I-it wasn't meant to go this way, trust me. I know this is gonna sound worse, but he was kinda like that when I found him."

"What are you doing in C-139?" Ricktus continued to stare at him, still utterly confused. "You literally have no business being here. Is there something you need to tell me?"

Rick hesitated before answering, but he was glad for the fact that the doctor had opted for trying to find answers over shooting at him again. "You're right, I don't have a reason to be here. I just wanted to bring him back alive and shove it in your face." He gently shrugged his shoulders. "I-I made a mistake."

Ricktus's voice dropped dangerously low. "You're damn right you did." He kept the gun trained on his target and took two steps backwards as his eyes drifted from Rick to the corpse on the ground, then back to Rick again, trying to make sense of it all. In another moment, his eyes widened again at the conclusion that came into his head. "...this was you, wasn't it?"

"N-no!" Rick protested immediately. "I told you, he was like that when I found him. Can you just... not be an idiot and put the gun down? I don't wanna do this any more. I'll even help you get rid of the guy and it'll be like nothing ever happened."

Ricktus stared blankly after the proposal, needing time to grasp that the situation was indeed real. A loud snort escaped him and then he broke into a fit of dark laughter. "Oh, shit... really? Fucking really?!"

Rick sighed; his arms were starting to get sore. He had been presented with another perfect opportunity to run, but he refused. "OK, so you are going to be an idiot..."

Ricktus turned on him, all traces of mirth suddenly gone. "No, you're the idiot, Rick. You honestly expect me to believe your ridiculous story? I should have predicted this, though I don't get it. You had the time but not a motive. Why would you do this?"

"I. Didn't. DO. SHIT." Each word was spoken with firm emphasis. "What reason do I even have to kill him? I already told you what happened, but you're the one who walked in at the worst possible time." Rick's expression turned dead serious. "I don't wanna fight you about this, I... I-I just wanna get out of here." As if to back up his words, he slowly lowered one arm and threw the plasma pistol he'd been carrying at the doctor's feet, disarming himself. Next came the brainwave detector, which he threw in the same direction.

"I've already learned that nothing you do makes sense. Did you do it to see if you could?" Ricktus raised an eyebrow quizzically. "How many others have you murdered? Back when I first captured you, are you sure you didn't leave your portal gun behind on purpose just to see if I'd come after you? Were you planning on killing me too?"

"NO! Now you're just letting your mind run away with itself!" Rick growled. "Think about this properly - if I really did kill the guy, then why the hell am I still standing here and willingly surrendering to you?"

"I don't actually know," the doctor spent a few seconds in silent thought, then began to softly snicker. "Oh... of course. C-711 still has your Morty, doesn't he?"

Rick's brow flattened as low as it would go.

"What a pity," Ricktus bent over to retrieve the plasma pistol from the ground and quickly decided it was better than the weapon he had been carrying. "You know, I was starting to like you, B-526. But I can't abide Rickicide and neither does the Council. It really is a shame you know... you showed such potential."

"So that's it then? You're gonna execute me for a crime when you only have circumstantial evidence? OK, so it looks pretty damning, but you're declaring me guilty without even reasoning through it." Rick hissed at him. "Why don't you check the body out for yourself? That moron choked to death on his own vomit, it's fucking obvious. He didn't even roll onto his side, i-it's like an example of Darwinism at work!" Against all better judgment, he tossed over his own portal gun, rendering himself completely vulnerable.

"That sounds more like a job for the coroners at the Citadel, which I have to do now. Thanks a lot." The doctor seemed irritated by the thought. "And don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. I'd rather let the Council sort it out." He stepped in front of the other two devices to block access to them with his legs and set the plasma pistol to stun. "You see, I was already planning to take you back. I can't tell you how glad I am that it's not you lying on the ground over there, but... if are you really the Rick that's been going around silently picking us off on our own timelines, then you're worth a LOT more to me than 2.1 million credits."

Rick shook his head in disgust. "You dumbass motherfucker... y-you... you're making a huge mistake! You gotta call your assistant back and stop him from taking my grandson to Birdperson, otherwise they're all gonna think I'm dead too. Can't we just drop the whole thing and leave? Let me get back to Morty, OK?"

"You'll be lucky if you ever get back to your Morty after the Council learns about this."

The comment provoked an explosive reaction out of the scientist and he flew into a wild rage. "Y-you goddamn SON OF A BITCH! I-I'll fucking KILL YOU if you take him away from me!" He rushed at him with both hands clenched into fists, not even caring that the gun was still aimed at him.

Ricktus lowered the pistol and fired a singular shot at near point-blank range into his target's chest. "That's all I needed to hear." His expression became completely impassive as he watched the scientist collapse in a heap at his feet.

If he didn't have a mild overdose of liquid painkillers in his system, Rick might have felt something as his body gave out from under him. "F... f-fuck you..."

"I didn't want to do this," Ricktus peered downwards, though he was satisfied that his captive wasn't going anywhere. "It sounds strange but before all this began, I was secretly hoping we could form some kind of alliance. I thought I could save you from your illness and that you'd actually be grateful for it. But that was never going to happen, was it?"

"I-I swear... i-if anything happens to Morty..."

"You've already decided to ally with C-711, but that's fine. I suspect he's been conspiring against me for a while, but your arrival gave him more of a reason to do so." He was definitely thinking aloud now. "Your tendency to lead the way inspired him, and I think it's part of why the Council wants you so badly. You see, I've been watching you for a long time. There's something about you and I've finally worked out what it is... I'd already written you off. I didn't think you were evil enough, but then you go ahead and murder a brother in cold blood."

"I-I didn't kill him, you moronic piece of shit!" Rick managed a pathetic twitch of his legs as he tried to move away. "Why... why would you shoot an unarmed man? You're a fucking psychopath..."

"Sure, buddy. Whatever." Ricktus placed a foot down on the scientist's shoulder to stop him. "The Council knows a lot more than they let on, so when they kept pushing that they wanted you, it made me wonder why. Time and time again, the shit you do makes no sense and yet, you're so much better at it than any of us. The Council needs a cold calculating Rick willing to do anything, so I suppose you having the capacity for murder isn't surprising. Either way, it leads me to only one one conclusion... you're the Rickest Rick, aren't you?"

Rick just glared back at him, the complete lack of understanding apparent on his face.

Ricktus stared blankly. "You've... never heard about this? Uh, the paragon of the central finite curve? The Rickest example of a Rick that ever was? No?"

"What the fuck are you talking about...?"

The doctor released a weary sigh from his lungs. "It would make sense that you don't know about it yet. Either way, they've been looking for you for a long time. I know we've been close, but," he glanced off to the side. "If it's true, then I can't afford to let you go."

"I-I suppose that's worth money too?" Rick asked bitterly.

"Yes, actually. But we have other matters to attend to first," Ricktus stood tall and stiffened in his posture, his expression becoming authoritative. "By my authority as a registered silver member of the Citadel of Ricks, I am officially arresting you on grounds of Rickicide. The ship has a brig I can hold you in until the Council can take you. Until then, I have your damned mess to clean up." He picked up Rick's portal gun and used it to fire a portal at the dumpster. "Thanks to you, now Quantum Rick gets to see this thing intact. You're not getting it back any time soon."

Rick closed his eyes and made a loud defeated sigh; the whole situation had officially spiraled out of control in the worst possible way.

"Fucking WHAT?!"

"What about the Council, man? Oh shit, what are we even gonna tell them!? We're so dead..."

Surgeon Rick tried to press for more details, but he'd already been hung up on. He launched the datapad across the terminal hub in his distress and buried his face in his hands, the crushing weight of defeat bearing down on him. He'd barely known Rick a week and reminded himself that he was supposed to remain detached and clinical, but it didn't work; the news of his death managed to affect him all the same. What made it worse was that he believed it was entirely his fault; if he'd only pushed harder then maybe his friend would still be alive.

his boss had been right - this was the exact reason why they weren't supposed to care about them.

He felt like a complete idiot.

From the portable crib, Morty closely watched the strangely-clothed spiky haired man, totally oblivious to what was going on. All he could sense was his heightened level of emotion and it made him uneasy. He made a tiny whimper as he leaned over the side and reached out for the older man with both hands, not understanding.

Surgeon Rick raised his head just enough to look over to him. "Ah, shit... you poor little fucker. You're not even old enough to get it, are you?" He moved to his feet and bundled up the little boy in his arms; there was only one thing he could do with him now. "Sorry that shit turned out the way it did... I'll come back every now and again and check up on you as you grow, OK? Your Rick would have wanted that."

The visit to Bird World in Dimension B-526 was a quick one. Although the surgeon's career meant that he'd had to notify the next of kin about a person's death many times before, it still didn't make the task any easier. He didn't even need to say anything when he arrived on the front door of Birdperson's tree house; his downcast expression and the fact that he was carrying Morty said it all.

Birdperson silently took the little boy into his arms and disappeared to the spare nest room, leaving Surgeon Rick behind to stand in the doorway.

Morty screamed his lungs out the entire way.

Back on the ship, Rick's only source of light was the faint green glowing floor strips outside his cell. He'd been thrown in the ship's brig straight after the altercation with the doctor had ended, and it had been done in such haste that he hadn't even been stripped of the items in his pockets. Although he knew he could escape if he only put them to use, it would reflect badly on him if he did. The threat Ricktus had made was literally the only thing keeping him there; he still didn't know Morty's whereabouts and certainly wasn't going to risk never seeing him again.

As he paced back and forth in the tiny space, he allowed his mind to wander.

If he'd only stayed behind like he was supposed to, then he'd still be with Morty and Rick C-139 might still be alive. He silently cursed his own ego and stubbornness, but soon realized there wasn't any point; he was stuck now. While the whole situation was stupid, the accusation of murder was laughable at best - if the doctor was going to take the corpse to the coroner like he'd claimed, then forensic evidence alone would back up Rick's side of the story.

He hadn't even touched the guy until after he'd died.

He hoped reason would prevail as he impatiently waited. In the first hour, the liquid painkillers started wearing off. Somewhere during the middle of the second hour, he huddled uncomfortably in the corner of his cell. By the end of the third, he was balled up on the floor.

He heard multiple sets of footsteps approaching; one was clunky, while the other rapidly scuttled across the tiles. He didn't bother moving.

"You've created a lot of work for me, B-526. If you still wanted to shove something in my face, then you have that. Good job." The sound of his own voice spoke to him, though Rick already knew who it was from the humorless tone. "The Council has been informed of your actions. They're going to send a troop of guards to collect you whenever they can be bothered, I-I don't fucking know their schedule. I've also relinquished all responsibility of you to Riq IV himself, so have fun dealing with him, you filthy murderer."

"Where's Morty...?"

Ricktus chose not to answer and continued. "I've also handed over copies of your clinical notes to the Citadel infirmary. Let's try and do something right in all of this mess, shall we? It's more than I can say for what you did to Rick C-139."

Rick raised his head towards his dimensional counterpart, giving him a look of absolute contempt. "Y-you... you think I give a shit about any of that? Tell me where my fucking grandson is!"

The response was cold and unfeeling. "I have a better question for you. What makes you think you deserve to know?"

Another set of rushed footsteps could be heard coming up the hallway. They were accompanied by panicked cursing, though most of it was unintelligible. Surgeon Rick suddenly rushed into the brig with a small box-like device clutched tightly in both hands, which was flashing red and making alarm calls. "Fuck, what are you doing all the way down here at a time like this?! The goddamn proximity alarms are going off!"

Ricktus breathed a heavy sigh and stepped over to him, planting both hands firmly on his shoulders. "Calm down, C-711. How do you know it isn't space dust like last time? Why didn't you just call me over the communication channel? I'm kind of in the middle of something crazy here." He turned to face his insect companion. "Fleur, why don't you go check that out for me? It's probably nothing."

"OK!" The insect's collar enthusiastically replied. "Why are you making me look at nothing?"

"Yeah, fantastic assumption there, boss. You think I wanted the fuckers to hear us? Why don't we just roll out the welcome mat while we're at it?" Surgeon Rick retorted. "All of the alarms are going off at once, like, friggin' ALL of them. I thought it was nothing too, so I checked out the external cameras." He dropped the box on the floor and whipped out his datapad to show off the footage he'd collected. "You gotta see this shit, bro. We got a planet-sized ship coming up on our ass. There was no warning until about ten minutes ago. I don't know how something so big managed to sneak up on us like that, but it's probably been following us for weeks. It evaded all our detection equipment."

"What?" The doctor's blood ran cold as he saw the screen. "How...?" He managed to choke out.

"To be fair, most of the shit is broken and your ship's a piece of crap, sir." Surgeon Rick would have made more light of the situation if it wasn't so dire. "Whatever you decide, do it now. Because in about 90 seconds they'll be all over us like a fat kid on a piece of cake."

Rick was sitting up and paying close attention now; the surgeon's voice was genuine enough for it not to be a prank. "See, I-I told you so... why don't you just portal outta here?"

"Can't," Ricktus bluntly stated. "There's too much valuable Council tech on board, not to mention the hundreds of computers we have on loan from them and the missing portal gun. Then there's all the technology from the collective group of species who used to run this place. Their teleportation stuff is paltry compared our portal guns, but the cloning tanks are-"

"What the HELL, man!?" Surgeon Rick shoved his boss aside and stood in front of Rick's jail cell to yell at him. "You-y-you goddamn SON OF A BITCH! You gave me a fuckin' heart attack! You were alive this whole time!?"

Rick gave him a soft sigh. "Yeah... f-for now, anyway."

"Fuck you, smartass!" It was hard to tell exactly what emotion Surgeon Rick was trying to convey; his tone could have easily been taken as anger or annoyance. "Do you have ANY idea what happened in the last couple of hours? You said you weren't gonna do anything stupid, right? So what the hell do you call this?!"

Rick cast an accusatory glare back in Ricktus's direction. "Not entirely my fault," he paused. "Where's Morty?"

"I left him with the bird dude, because, oh, I don't know... I thought you were dead!" Surgeon Rick wasted no time verbally laying into him again. "I hope you got a damn good explanation waiting, because your Morty's NOT fuckin' happy about where he is now!"

"Great." Rick finally moved to his feet, pushing through considerable discomfort. "Well at least one of you is useful... how about being more useful and getting me out of here? Wait, does a jail cell count as a cage? Long story, but I can't die in a cage. I-I don't wanna talk about it."

"Why are you even in there?" Surgeon Rick began scanning the bars with his eyes, searching for a way to unlock them. "I can't see a keypad anywhere."

"Not so fast, C-711." Ricktus grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and pulled him away. "Don't be so quick to help out your new buddy. Just after I called you, I caught him in the act of killing a Rick in a dimension he had no business with. Do you really want to become an accessory to murder?"

Surgeon Rick looked visibly shaken and he took a step backwards to get further out of the way. "Holy shit..." The look he gave Rick was one of utter disbelief. "Did you really do it?"

"NO!" Rick clutched at the bars of his cell and rattled them in frustration. "What reason do I have!? He-he didn't even see it happen, he just jumped to conclusions like a moron. This whole thing is a misunderstanding. I didn't do shit!"

"That's for the Council to decide," Ricktus folded his arms across his chest. "I expect they'll be here any time now."

"Oh for..." Rick was about to say more, but a deep rumble shook through the floor, vibrating the walls and the structure around them. "Sounds like your contact just made contact. Are you really just gonna keep me locked up in here? You might need an extra pair of hands to shoot stuff."

"Yeah, good plan. Should we let you out so you can shoot us too? In what reality did you think that would work?" The doctor's attention was glued to the ceiling and his posture became tense, like he was preparing to leave at any given moment. "Every murderer in the history of murdering people claims they didn't do it. You're not even trying now."

"Goddamnit, i-it's true!" Rick finally snapped. "Take your judgment and shove it up your ass!" He glared at Surgeon Rick. "Why don't you do something about this? You believe me, right? Come on, think through it for yourself. What do I even have to gain from killing another Rick?!"

"He'll say anything to get to you, C-711. Don't let him." Ricktus flinched ever so slightly as another distant rumble rippled through the ship. "Whose word are you going to take? Your long-term work colleague's, or some generic hack you only met several days ago?"

Surgeon Rick glanced at the doctor, then back to Rick, unsure how to handle either of them; they both sounded pretty convincing. "What if you're wrong, boss?"

"When am I ever wrong?"

Surgeon Rick coughed awkwardly. "Quite a lot, actually."

"Shut up, C-711! This is no time for your insubordination!" Ricktus barked. "Go make yourself useful and grab some weapons from the barracks. If our new neighbors try to board us, we're going to need them."

"So you're just gonna leave me here while you get invaded?!" Rick called out from his cell. "Stop taking that kind of shit from him and open the damn door already! If there was ever a good time to grow a pair, it's right now!"

A deafening ear-grating screech echoed through the hallways from a distant part of the ship, like the sound of metal scraping against metal. A second later, the floor groaned and trembled like an earthquake.

It was all Surgeon Rick needed to put the situation into perspective; he swiftly delivered a right hook to the doctor's jaw and knocked him clean off his feet. "Open the cell, bro."

Ricktus didn't see it coming and was already down by the time he had worked out what happened. "Have you lost your mind, C-711?!" As he nursed his jaw with the fingers of his left hand, his voice elevated just below a yell. "If you side with B-526 and get caught up in his mess, he'll take you down with him! Do you want to get fired?!"

"By the sounds of things, I'm probably not gonna have a job here much longer anyway. Plus my boss is an asshole," Surgeon Rick admitted as he stood over him. "Can you like, not be an irrational douchebag this one time? Because I'd say your 90 second warning is up."