It was mid-August, the weather was oppressive and Ray was lying down after a busy day at the gym. He was thinking about what he could get for dinner. He had phoned Jaycee earlier to pick up some groceries but she had been in a meeting. Now he was waiting for her to phone back and had the phone beside his bed.

Just then the it rang. He reached for it and pressed the answer button without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey mom, you heading home soon?"

"Ray, my man, it's not your mother."

He sat up in surprise.

"G …Greg, h-hi!"

"You sound good."

"Yeah, I'm feelin' pretty good," he responds with a little laugh. There was silence the other end so he continued, " Look thanks for all the texts and e-mails. Sorry I haven't been in touch… it's just …"

"You don't need to explain man… I'm sure things have been rough."

"They're getting better. I've got state of the art prostheses and am learning to walk again."

"Yes, I was talking to Katey Alvaro yesterday so she filled me in on where you're at. I figured if you were opening lines of communication, I'd risk giving you a call and so here we are."

"Thanks Greg."

There was silence on the line. Ray really did not know what to say. He was slightly embarrassed when he recalled the last time he and Greg had talked and he felt awkward about generating conversation. He was not sure that he cared to hear what was going on at county. He was not part of that world any more and it was something he was having difficulty coming to terms with. He was still terrified at the prospect of having to make career decisions. It was something he did not have to do and did not want to deal with just yet.

"So… we've missed you. The place has not been the same."

Ray smiled.

"How's everybody?"

"Everybody's good now."

"Have you a new chief yet?"

"Do we ever? Remember Moretti from ICU?"

"I did a placement up there during my intern year. He's a bit pre-historic. Surely he's not the new chief."

"None other."

"Am I glad to be out of there?"

"Yes. He can be quite difficult. But his bark is worse than his bite. I'm actually learning a lot under his guidance. He's really encouraging me to develop professionally."

"Good for you."

"Yeah, who knows, maybe if the post comes up again I might apply."

"That's a change for you. Only two years ago, you didn't apply for chief resident."

"Guess I saw the error of my ways. Hey, the job of chief is a few years down the line, at least. But I want to be ready when the time comes."

"You'd be good at the job."

"You mean it?"

"I wouldn't say it unless I meant it. You're a very fair person always and your colleagues respect you."

"Thanks Ray. Look Ray, I've something to tell you."

Ray felt his stomach tightening. What was coming now? He just knew it was some sort of bad news. Please let them not force him to make a decision about his future before he was ready.

"Wh… what is it?"

"Shortly after your accident, there was an incident."

"What sort of an incident?"

"An explosion at a rally. There was a stampede."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Katey thinks you don't know."

"Don't know what?"

"Neela got hurt."

"Neela. But she's ok, she's been sending me text messages."

"She's recovering but she's not back at work yet."

"H…how long has she been off?"

"Almost three months."

"Wh … what?" Ray said, sitting up in shock, "How badly was she injured?"

Greg proceeded to outline her injuries and Ray listened. He really was shocked. They had lost people in the ER with less severe injuries than that.

"She's ok now, right?"

"She's making a good recovery."

Suddenly, he was choked up. He couldn't talk any more.

"Greg… look I … I've got to go."

"Ray, are you OK man?"

But he did not answer, he simply hung up.

He lay there for some time in total shock. Then the tears came and he started to shake. He held himself tightly as deep racking sobs shuddered through him. While he had been cursing her very existence, Neela had been barely clinging to life. Jesus, God, Neela. That had been what Katey had been trying to tell him.

When Jaycee arrived home some two hours later, he was still lying there practically catatonic. Dinner had been forgotten.

"Ray? Are you OK?" she asked as she entered his room.

"I … I got some bad news earlier. I …I.."

"Ray, honey what is it? Talk to me."

"Neela nearly died." he looked up and she saw the tears trickle down his face. "She nearly died and I didn't know. That's why it took so long for her to contact me after I came home."

"It's OK," she said as she sat on the bed, reached for him and pulled him into her arms. "It's not OK! God mom, I nearly lost her and I didn't know. What's worse during that time I was cursing and railing at her for not keeping in touch."

He clung to her and cried as though his heart would break.

"Shush now. It's OK you didn't know." She held him as though he were a small child.

They were quiet for a long time then Jaycee asked. "Have you talked to her?"

He shook his head.

"No, Greg Pratt phoned."

"Ah yes, he phoned while you were in hospital."

"He didn't tell you about Neela?"

"No. We did not speak for very long."

"Are you going to phone her?"

He stared out the window and said,

"I can't talk to her," he said with a shake of his head, "not yet. I think I might write to her."

"Why don't you do that? I'll phone for take out tonight. What do you fancy? Chinese, Sushi, Mexican, Italian?"

"God mom, I'm sorry, I forgot about dinner."

"That's fine honey, you've had a shock. You need to take it easy for a while," she said tenderly, "now, what shall I order?"

"I don't really care."

"I fancy Chinese. I'll just order up some noodles, ribs and some Chinese vegetables. How does that sound?"

"That sounds fine." he said with a sad smile. "Mom, thanks."

"For what?"

"Just for being there."

She shrugged and walked away to phone in her order.

After that she made another phone-call.

"James, its Jaycee, can we talk?"

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Thanks to everybody who continues to read and review. Please excuse any typos and bad editing especially the the mix-up between Jayce and Jaycee. It's Jaycee! I just have to keep reminding myself as my spell check does not always pick it up. Hope it does not aggravate too much.