So, you're all probably going to want to kill me. I promised an update like 3 weeks ago and since I left the previous chapter in a bit of a cliffhanger, you were probably expecting a resolution to that…well…Here's an update, but it focuses mainly on Rachel and Jake. I'd written this part about 2-3 months ago and was trying to find a way to fit it in the story. I thought it made sense to fit it in here. Rachel and Jake are background players in this tale, but I still wanted to show the origin of their relationship, so it makes some sort of sense later on and won't leave everyone asking WTF?
Do not fret – the next chapter will be all about Luke and Brooke and their reactions to a possible pregnancy. It'll be fluffy and kind of funny before I plunge everyone back into dramaland. It's pretty much written, I just need to finish it up and tweak it.
Thanks to the lovely reviewers of the last chapter – thank yous are at the bottom. I hope you like and do not hesitate to tell me what you think! And for the silent readers, I hope you're enjoying this too!
Chapter 25 – I'm Still Searching
"I'm still searching for something. I'm still looking for someone. But I'm caught in the middle of a broken heart and a life on the run." – Glass Tiger
Shortly after Brooke took off, Rachel gathered up her things, paid the bill and left the café. She began her leisurely stroll back to the hotel. It was still damp out, but the clouds had parted, allowing some late afternoon sunlight to peek through. Rachel inhaled the fresh air and sighed contentedly. For the first time in a long time she felt at peace, like she belonged. She suspected that feeling had everything to do with the two Jagielskis.
Rachel smiled, thinking of Jenny and Jake. She really enjoyed spending time with them both. Over the past few days, she and Jenny had bonded. It was surprising and so unlikely…but there was something about the seven year-old girl that touched her in a place that had been long buried. She reminded Rachel what it was like to see the world through completely innocent eyes; something Rachel hadn't been able to do since she was a very small child. It was a nice feeling. And then, there was Jake. In the past, Rachel would have dismissed someone like Jake; he was too serious, too quiet…and worst of all, he would be able to see right through her. She avoided men who had the ability to see past her façade – less chance of getting hurt.
But she didn't mind letting Jake catch a glimpse of the real Rachel Gatina. Jake knew little about her past and even if he did know everything, she sensed that he wouldn't judge her too harshly. It was a welcome change. All her life, Rachel had been judged: not pretty enough, not smart enough, not nice enough, not good enough. She was used to it and she had surrounded herself with an impenetrable armor years ago; allowing her to survive in her soul-crushing occupation where one is judged solely on looks. She was sick of it. It was a superficial world and it had lost it's luster long ago. She always dreamed of going to college, finding a nice guy, settling down and retiring from modeling. It was her most cherished secret which she had never revealed to anyone, not even Brooke.
There had to be more to life than this…right?
One Week Ago – After Peyton's Wake
After finding Rachel standing outside Tric in the pouring rain, Jake and Jenny drove her back to the hotel. Once they arrived, Jake invited her to have dinner with him and Jenny. All Rachel wanted to do was grab a hot shower and head out for a night of dancing, drinking and maybe finding a mindless fuck to keep her mind off of the unpleasant memories that kept threatening to overtake her. But when she looked at Jenny's eager face, she caved. She needed to eat anyway and there'd be plenty of time to hit up a club or two later on.
What she hadn't bargained for was how much fun she was having with the Jagielskis. Time flew by as they ate, laughed and talked; especially Jenny. At the wake, Jenny seemed shy and not at all outgoing. At dinner, she opened up to Rachel, telling her all about her school, friends and activities. Then, she peppered Rachel with so many questions her head was spinning. Jenny wanted to know everything about Rachel – her life as a model, what New York was like, her travels, her interests. Rachel felt like she was being interviewed by all five ladies on The View at the same time.
After dessert, Jake put an end to the inquisition, claiming that it was time for Jenny to get ready for bed. They slowly walked across the lobby, Jenny having skipped ahead of them to the elevators.
"Thanks again for the ride, Jake. And for inviting me to dinner. I really appreciate it." Rachel hesitated for a moment. "I mean, you don't even know me and today hasn't been the easiest day – especially for you and Jenny."
Jake stiffened and looked down at his feet. "It's been hard," he admitted, simply. When he raised his head, Rachel could see his eyes were filled with sadness. "Thank you for keeping an eye on Jenny today. It was a big help to me and Jenny seemed to have fun."
Rachel smiled at him, and shrugged. "I had fun, too. She's an amazing kid."
A slow smile spread across Jake's face and Rachel's heart skipped a beat. "She's probably the only thing getting me through this."
"Daddy, Rachel, come on! The elevator's waiting!" Jenny's impatient holler rang out across the lobby.
"Looks like we're being summoned." Rachel observed with a smirk. Jake chuckled in response. His brown eyes twinkled in amusement; the sadness fading for the time being. They joined Jenny in the elevator.
"What floor are you on, Rachel?" Jenny asked.
"Five."
A delighted grin appeared on Jenny's face as she pressed the button for the fifth floor. "We're on the fifth floor, too. What room are you in? Maybe we're neighbours!"
"Uh, 507." Rachel replied, thinking the night couldn't get any weirder.
Jenny bounced up and down excitedly on her toes. "We're in 509. We're right next door to Rachel, Daddy!"
Rachel and Jake exchanged a startled glance. "Wow…that's a weird coincidence." Rachel replied, cursing herself as a faint flush coloured her cheeks. Damn it. Supermodels do not blush.
"Yeah, one heck of a coincidence," Jake mumbled, as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Rachel let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding as the elevator finally arrived at the fifth floor. The trio walked down the hallway towards their rooms. Rachel's eyes widened when she saw that they were indeed very close neighbours – the doors to their suites were literally right beside each other.
Rachel swallowed hard. This was getting freaky. Her eyes slid over to Jake, wondering if he was getting as freaked out as she was over the piled-up coincidences. What were the odds? It was like a bad chick flick come to life. Then, she saw the expression on Jake's face; sheer exhaustion, sadness and heartbreak. She remembered why he was here - it was so easy to forget since he couldn't grieve openly for Peyton as a lover. Rachel was disgusted with herself. The poor guy was devastated over the sudden death of his lost love and she was indulging in formulaic rom-com fantasies featuring him.
"Well, I guess this time it's goodnight for real, Jenny." Rachel smiled down at the little girl.
Jenny nodded reluctantly. "Good night, Rachel. I had fun with you today." To Rachel's surprise, Jenny wrapped her arms around her waist, giving her a fierce hug.
Rachel hesitated, before wrapping her own arms around Jenny and giving her a squeeze. "I liked hanging out with you too, kiddo." She replied in a soft voice.
"Will I see you again, Rachel?" Jenny asked, gazing up at Rachel with pleading blue eyes.
Rachel glanced over at Jake who was staring at them thoughtfully; a ghost of a smile gracing his features. Jake caught sight of her questioning look and nodded. Rachel turned her attention back to Jenny, who was awaiting Rachel's response. "Of course. After all, we're neighbours, right?"
"Jenny, it's almost time for bed. Go on in and get changed, okay sweetie?" Jake broke in, holding the door to their room open.
Jenny rolled her eyes and released Rachel from her hug. "Alright, Dad." She turned back towards Rachel. "Good night, Rachel."
"Good night, Jenny." Rachel waved at Jenny, as she disappeared into the hotel room.
Jake shut the door behind her and turned to Rachel. "I just wanted to thank you again for helping out with Jenny today."
"It was nothing, Jake. I really didn't mind." Rachel said, reassuringly. There was an awkward silence. "Listen, I wasn't close with Peyton and I know we never met before today…All I know of you is what other people have told me over the years – all good things – and you probably never heard my name before today. And if you did hear anything about me, it probably wasn't very flattering, but I'm not who I used to be back in high school. I'm totally rambling." Rachel heaved a sigh. "I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to talk to…I've been told I'm a pretty good listener. I mean, I know it seems weird, since we don't really know each other…I just thought I'd offer."
Jake was quiet for a moment. "She has really taken a shine to you. She doesn't usually let people in. But, with you…Jenny liked you right away. She's a good judge of character." Jake looked steadily into Rachel's eyes. "I might take you up on your offer sometime, Rachel." He added in a low voice.
Rachel bit her lip, desperately trying to ignore the tingly feeling in her fingertips at the sound of his voice. "Anytime, Jake. You know where to find me." She smiled.
Jake nodded and flashed her a shy smile. "Well…good night."
"Good night." Rachel opened the door to her room and quickly closed it behind her. She was no longer in the mood to head out to the bar. It just seemed so depressing and lonely. Spending time with Jake and Jenny made her realize how lonely she really was. All of her friends – not that she had very many – had relationships or were starting families. Look at Jake; no matter how sad he might be at the moment, he still had Jenny.
Rachel realized that she was tired of being alone.
Stepping into the hotel lobby, Rachel was literally jolted from her thoughts as Jenny came barreling towards her, wrapping her arms around her mid-section. "Rachel! I am so glad to see you. I had to spend the whole afternoon with Dad and Uncle Luke and all they wanted to do was play basketball! They didn't even play a real game because Uncle Luke has a broken arm. They just threw the ball at the basket. It was so boring!" Jenny's voice got softer as she gazed up at Rachel. "I missed you, Red."
"I missed you, too, Blondie." Rachel smiled at Jenny and leaned down, giving her a big hug. She looked up, finally noticing Jake standing a few feet away, smiling warmly at them. Rachel returned his smile and straightened up. "What do you say we grab dinner and you can tell me all about how your mean dad forced you to watch basketball all day long?"
Jake moved towards them, laughing. Rachel realized that this was the first time he had genuinely laughed since she met him. It was a wonderful sound. "Aw, Jenny. I'm sorry you had such a horrible time with me and Luke."
"It's okay, Daddy. Maybe next time, we could play Barbies instead." Jenny said, cheerfully. "It's a – what's that word, Rachel?"
"A compromise?" Rachel smirked, raising an eyebrow at Jake.
"Yeah, a compromise." Jenny nodded emphatically, taking Rachel's hand. "I watched boring old basketball; next time, you and Uncle Luke play Barbies with me."
Jake hesitated. "I don't know about that."
"Come on, Daddy. Fair's fair!" Jenny exclaimed.
Jake looked helplessly at Rachel, who just smirked at him. "Yeah, Daddy – fair's fair."
"I can see when I'm licked." Jake shook his head. "Okay, next time I'll play Barbies with you." Jenny cheered and took Jake's hand, so she was hanging on to both Rachel and Jake. "I don't know how to con Uncle Luke into that one." He mumbled.
Rachel leaned over. "I'll get Brooke to start working on him." She winked at him, flirtatiously.
Jake laughed once more and Rachel shivered as a tingle ran down her spine. She was glad to see him looking happy. "Come on, I'm starving."
The three of them began walking towards the hotel restaurant, the two adults linked by Jenny who skipped happily between them. Anyone who didn't know them would mistake them for a family. Rachel smiled, wistfully. Too bad it was an illusion.
Jake Jagielski was someone she could definitely fall for. Rachel sighed; she knew she had to be careful. She had been burned once before and Jake was in no shape to even be considering getting romantically involved with anyone – he was still hurting from the loss of Peyton. And as if he'd even be interested in her, anyway. For now, she was happy to have him and Jenny in her life and hope that this silly crush would go away.
Later that evening, Rachel was sitting on her bed, flipping through a copy of Vogue and sipping a glass of red wine. She'd just had a nice long bath and was finally feeling relaxed. She was still nervous about spending an entire week alone with Jenny. She was touched that Jake trusted her, but it was a huge responsibility and she really didn't want to fuck it up.
She tried calling Brooke to discuss introducing Jenny to Jamie and Lily, but ended up talking to Haley instead. Rachel smirked, remembering how Haley's shock at the news that Jake was leaving Jenny with her for a whole week. At least she hadn't laughed at Rachel, unlike a certain fashion designer. She told Rachel to stop by or call at any time during the week, which Rachel was grateful for. They also discussed Brooke and their worries that she was headed for a nervous breakdown. Haley explained that Lucas promised to stay and Tree Hill for the week and help Brooke instead of running off to Durham. Rachel was relieved that her text message did the trick. Lucas Scott needed a swift kick in the ass from time to time and Rachel was all too happy to deliver it. But, she knew there was something else going on with Lucas and Brooke…something Haley wasn't telling her. She could hear it in her voice. Rachel took a sip of her wine and pondered just what kind of drama Brucas was embroiled in now. Nothing ever went smoothly for Broody and Cheery…
A knock at the door startled Rachel from her thoughts. A quick glance at her alarm clock showed that it was already 11 pm. A little late for random visitors. She quickly slipped on her bathrobe, covering her skimpy sleeping attire.
"Who is it?" she asked, a little nervously. In this town, you never knew who might pop up out of the woodwork.
"It's me, Jake." Rachel sighed in relief at his familiar voice. She opened the door, ignoring the pleasant fluttering feeling in her stomach at the sight of him. "Come on in." She stepped aside, watching as he stepped into her room. He was wearing plaid pyjama pants and a grey wife beater, which clung tightly to his toned chest and abdomen. Rachel quickly looked away. "So, what brings you by?"
Jake sat down on Rachel's bed. "Luke just called a little while ago. He's not going to Durham after all."
"Yeah, Haley told me." Rachel nodded and poured Jake a glass of wine, which he accepted. "I'm glad, for Brooke's sake. She was pretty upset when she found out he was planning on taking off for a week without telling her."
Jake chuckled and then took a sip of wine. "Well, he can be kind of a dumbass sometimes." Jake hesitated, for a moment, his smile fading.
"I'll drink to that." Rachel grinned and tapped Jake's wineglass with her own to lighten the mood. "So, are you still going to Raleigh?"
"Yeah. I think I might have a buyer for the club already. The sooner I close up that chapter of my life, the better." Jake took another sip of wine and his eyes took on a faraway expression. "But I still wonder if I'm just replacing one set of bad memories with another. By coming back here, I mean. Where it all started."
She wasn't sure what to say, so Rachel reached over and patted him on the knee. To her surprise, Jake placed his hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm not looking forward to heading back to Raleigh. There's a lot that I'm not sure I'm ready to face." He turned to her. "I have something to ask you…it's a huge favour and it might be kind of a big imposition."
"Come on, Jakey, cut to the chase." Rachel smirked at him.
"Instead of looking after Jenny for the week, how about you come with me? Both of you. I've kind of gotten used to having you around the past week and I think you're the only one who understands what I'm going through. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who has a clue."
Rachel looked into Jake's light brown eyes and nodded. He was probably right. "Okay, but only if you book us into a fancy hotel with a nice spa. And a waterslide for Jenny…and maybe for me, too."
Jake laughed and shook his head. "You drive a hard bargain, Rachel. Sure, I'll get online and see what I can find." They remained in a companionable silence sipping their wine, each lost in their own thoughts. Rachel was aware that his hand remained on top of hers. She wondered if it was time to bring up a delicate subject with him.
"Jake…do you think you'll ever be ready to talk about Peyton?"
Jake visibly flinched and closed his eyes for a moment, remaining silent.
"It might help…you know to get it all out." Rachel frowned, wondering if she was pushing him too hard. She watched her new friend as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, his shoulders slumped forward. After a long silence that stretched from seconds into minutes, Jake finally raised his head. His eyes were filled with tears.
"It hurts too much to talk about it right now, Rachel." He said, thickly, his voice nearly breaking. "I know I can't keep it in forever. I just feel like I need to focus on Jenny and moving and getting my life back together."
Rachel smiled sadly, her heart aching for him. Peyton sure had a way of turning everyone's lives upside-down, even after her death. "My offer still stands. When you're ready, I'm here for you, friend."
Jake leaned his head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Red."
Rachel couldn't help but smile at his use of Jenny's nickname for her. It was the first time he had called her by that name and for some reason she was oddly touched. "No problem, Jakey-poo."
"Jakey-poo? You couldn't come up with anything better than that?" He laughed.
"Just be glad I'm not calling you Sexy Beast." Rachel nudged him off her shoulder. "Come on, it's almost midnight and I'm sure you want us to leave at some godforsaken hour tomorrow. I haven't even packed yet."
Jake finished his wine and got up from the bed. "You're right. And I'm going to have to get even earlier to get Jenny all packed up."
"Better get to it, then." Rachel walked Jake to the door of her room. "Sweet dreams, Jakey-poo."
"Good night, Red." Jake wrapped his arms around her and Rachel sank into his embrace. She knew it was just a friendly hug, but she couldn't ignore how safe and comfortable she felt in his arms. She hadn't felt like this since Cooper…Rachel reluctantly pulled away as her mind was assaulted with memories of their doomed relationship.
"I guess I'll see you in the morning." Rachel said, softly.
Jake nodded and Rachel could see the concern for her in his eyes. "Are you okay, Rach?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Just tired…"
"Okay…" Jake cocked his head and gave her a small grin. "You know that if you want to talk about anything, I'm here." He shrugged. "I'm an excellent shoulder to cry on, or so I've been told."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Then, good night. I'll send Jenny over at seven to boot you out of bed."
Rachel groaned. "That's low, Jagielski. Getting an innocent child to participate in such sadistic forms of torture…"
Jake just laughed and left the room. Rachel leaned against the doorway, feeling more conflicted than ever. Jake needed a friend, not a girl crushing on him. And, she was obviously still tormented over the Cooper debacle. Maybe it would be good to get away from Tree Hill for a bit; away from all the Brucas drama and crappy memories. Maybe this trip could be the beginning of a fresh start for her…maybe she could finally figure out what she wanted out of life. Maybe she could finally put Cooper Lee into the past where he belonged. Maybe she would finally be able to move on…one could only hope.
Superstargirl7 – Thanks so much! I am so touched by your compliments! Sorry you had to wait so long for an update. Yes, we will definitely see more of Lucas taking care of Brooke in upcoming chapters. She definitely deserves it.
Mel – I hope you didn't hide under a rock the entire time! I'm going to start writing some chapters ahead of time so there won't be so many delays in posting. I love stories with Brucas babies…I just couldn't resist. I really want to focus on Lucas learning that he's not the centre of the universe and that even though Brooke is strong, she still needs him to carry the load once in awhile.
Dianehermans – Thanks! My holiday was fun and relaxing. We'll find out if Brooke is pregnant next chapter. Hopefully, you'll be okay with waiting for more Brucas. Next chapter will make up for their absence from this one.
Itsallgleektome – I love Brucas babies, too!
Princessakarlita411 – We'll find out next chapter…sorry to keep you in suspense!
Tanya2byour21 – Thanks so much! I tried to keep the characters and their reactions fairly realistic. I could totally see Karen and Haley being Lucas' voices of reason since they've known him all his life and he tends to put more weight on their words than on anyone else's. I also wanted to have Brooke start dealing with Peyton's death and I think the dream was the way to go – I'm so happy that it touched you! I was worried it would come off as cheesy. Dream-Peyton may make another cameo or two as the whole Sawyer paternity issue gets resolved. I am so glad you're enjoying the story.
Love me some Julian – I know! They are stupid for not wrapping it up…They just weren't thinking, those crazy kids. ;)
StarsShine28 – I'm glad you're enjoying the story! I love hearing from new readers!
ReadingRed – Hope this chapter didn't disappoint, since there wasn't a Brucas baby. Yet.
OTH-Brucas-love – I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and that it left you wanting more. That's an incredible compliment and gave me lots of warm fuzzies. Even though I like to focus on Brucas (since I miss them so much, sigh) I still enjoy writing for the other characters and their interactions. I'm relieved that they rang true.