Author Note: …jammed with action…..

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Chapter 25 – Ugly Girls

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Eric woke up with Jackie snuggled into his chest. He loved the early morning hours when she was sleeping. In many ways she was still so young and vulnerable. Eric liked that he could protect her where no one else could. He would never break her heart like Kelso or Hyde had done. Jackie helped him become the man he was today and it wasn't by belittling him or holding him back. She encouraged or shoved him in the right direction and he could feel a maturity within himself that never existed before.

Eric picked up Jackie's hand and looked at the small diamond they had bought late last night. It wasn't big but it was big enough and when Eric got down on one knee in the jewelry store in front of several customers, Jackie immediately said "YES!" The kiss she gave him left him with no doubt that she really loved him.

The formality of being engaged did have some merit. The guys at work would quit hitting on her, the engagement would make her seem like more of a stable employee and Eric liked the idea that in some ideal world, Jackie would be his wife. Why did Brooke have to be so smart?

Eric pushed the dark hair off her shoulder and nuzzled the tiny shell of an ear. "Jackie." He whispered softly. She tried to swat him with hand but he simply grabbed it and kissed her fingers. "Good morning."

She rolled over and blinked lazily. "What time is it?" Then she noticed her little diamond flash in the morning sunshine. "Oh, I have a diamond!"

Eric smiled and watched her take pleasure in twisting the ring in the sunlight so the sparkles covered the ceilings and walls. She rolled over, "We are engaged." She propped herself up on her elbows, her hair falling over Eric's chest. "Aren't you glad our taxi's collided?"

Eric wrapped an arm around her shoulders and rolled her over onto his side. "I'm glad you came to the airport to say goodbye." With his hands wrapped around her waist, she leaned into him. "We had a good plan didn't we?"

"Of course." He replied into her hair.

"I don't want you to think I'm trapping you or anything because I know you wanted to marry Donna."

"I'm not marrying Donna. She's not even on my radar anymore. I like girls with dark hair that snore in their sleep." Eric replied. Jackie giggled, "You're mom's going to freak out. Just don't mention any wedding dates."

"Brooke schooled me in exactly what to say so don't worry." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm going to need your help with the bra. If Fez is going to show up, they need to look real."

Jackie grinned. "I'll have Fez's eyes bugging out. He won't even look at your face."

"Well, let's go get some homemade food and see my mom!"

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Kelso and Fez were sitting in a booth where they could see the door of the restaurant. They used a couple of tall menus to hide their faces when Kitty came in and requested a booth. They watched as the woman they knew as a 'mom' walked over to an empty booth and remove her coat. She sat down and smiled as the waitress brought her a Bloody Mary.

"I think that must be what she usually orders. Did you see how she used ESP on the waitress to bring the drink?" Kelso explained. Fez nodded, "She's crafty."

Possibly not even five minutes later, Kelso saw Jackie and a tall blonde head towards the table. Kitty had an excited expression on her face and hugged the big woman. Fez whispered, "Who's that with Jackie?"

Kelso peered between the menus. "I don't know. She has big rack but man, she's an uggo!"

Fez groaned, "Let me see. Ahhh….pretty blouse. Nice curly hair but she is not very attractive."

Kelso looked at his friend, "You know, unless there's some girl on girl action pretty soon, this is going to get boring real fast." Fez agreed. "Maybe we should just go over and say hello."

Kelso reached over and frogged Fez in the arm. "No you doofus! We are on a reconnaissance mission. We have to go back and tell Hyde and Red what we saw."

Fez rubbed his shoulder. "Well, you can do that but I'm going to say hello because I haven't seen my goddess since Hyde married Sam." Before Kelso could stop him Fez stood up and started walking across the room.

Jackie saw the spy operation from the minute she walked in the door. She squeezed Eric's arm and whispered, "Dorks at 10:00 o'clock. Talk like a lady." When they sat down with Kitty, Jackie briefly explained what happened and Kitty grinned. "It sounds like my husband is a little jealous."

Kitty looked up, "Hello Fez. What brings you out here?"

Fez was flustered in Kitty's presence. He loved and adored this older woman, "Miss Kitty, I saw that Jackie was with you and it's been months since I seen her."

Fez turned to Jackie who stood up and gave him a quick hug. "I missed you too Fez." She said honestly. They both heard, "Aw heck! If you're giving hugs, I want one too!" Kelso ran over like a windmill to get his hug. Then he stood up and tucked his shirt in his pants. "And who's this….gal?"

Jackie bit her lip and replied, "This is my roommate's sister, Bertha. Bertha Kitt." She had to choke back a laugh, "Bertha, this is Fez and Michael Kelso." Eric held out a mitten covered hand and replied in a falsetto voice, "You much be Betsy's father."

Kelso grabbed Jackie by the arm and pulled her off to the side of the booth. "Jackie…between you and me? Bertha is an UGGO!" Meanwhile, Fez was watching Eric's brassiere move up and down with each breath with a big smile on his brown face.

Bertha said, "Nice to meet you Fez." Eric held out his mittened hand and when Fez tried to suggestively squeeze the curly blonde's hand, Eric squeezed back hard enough to bring a tear to the foreigners eye.

Holding his nearly crushed hand, Fez declared, "Well, it was nice to meet you but I must go. Kelso, you're driving."

Kelso waved at the group and Jackie heard Fez proclaim that Bertha was too much woman for him. After the pair left, Eric pulled off the wig. "God, do all guys act like that?"

Kitty and Jackie looked at each other and laughed. "Yeah - I gave you an extra cup size so Fez wouldn't see your face." Eric chuckled and threw the mittens on the seat beside him.

Smiling, Kitty looked at the pair. "Okay, so what do you want to tell me?"

They looked at each other. "Um…we're looking for a new apartment….other than that, nothing new."

Kitty gave Eric that mother knows look. "Is there something special you want to tell me?" She reached over and picked up Jackie's left hand. Eric turned a slight shade of pink. "Oh, Jackie and I are engaged for professional purposes."

Kitty frowned. "I've never heard of that before."

Jackie explained how it worked in the movie industry and how it would help them in their future endeavors. Kitty replied, "So there's no actual plan to get married."

Eric and Jackie looked at each other hoping that someone would say "Yes we will," but they just shrugged. Kitty knew even if they didn't. "Jackie honey, would you mind getting my bag out of the car?"

"Oh, sure, I'll be right back." Jackie took the car keys and jogged out the door. Kitty turned to her son. "Explain this to me."

Eric's face softened. "Mom. I love her. I really love her and we want a long engagement. We don't to go through the same mistakes our teenage selves did. I can't see myself being married to anyone but her."

"Jackie feels the same way?" Kitty pressed.

Eric grinned. "Yes and she's still the bossy little midget you remember but she loves me. Mom, I may not be very much older than I was before I left, but I feel like I'm ages wiser than I remember. I can tell the difference between this love I have for Jackie and the desperate obsession I had for Donna. With Donna, I felt like I wasn't worthy. With Jackie, it's a forever kind of lasting love."

Kitty had tears in her eyes. Her baby boy really was growing up. She raised him well. "You do know how much I want to tell your father."

He smiled softly. "I know, but with Hyde still living in the basement, I can't just bring Jackie over there. He makes her uncomfortable and I'm not ready to deal with Donna and Randy yet. But soon. We'll tell Dad soon, okay?"

"Promise?" Kitty asked hopefully.

"I promise."

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"She was like six feet tall and the ugliest woman you ever saw." Kelso declared. Red disregarded the other girl's appearance. "So, Kitty was just there to have lunch with Jackie and this other girl."

Fez was cradling his hand, "Yes, and that girl must be a weight lifter because she nearly broke my candy hand. How am I supposed to unwrap Tootsie Rolls with one hand?"

Hyde looked at Kelso, "So Jackie looked good?" Samantha looked at her husband, "Why do you care?" Red did not want to get into a lover's quarrel. "I'm going to watch the news. If you knuckleheads remember anything important, let me know. Otherwise, Kitty can visit Jackie and her little friend whenever she wants."

Just after Red retired to the living room, Donna busted through the patio doors. "Oh my god, you guys have to see this!" Donna put a newspaper on the Forman kitchen table.

Samantha looked up, "What is it?"

Kelso looked at her like she was dim. "It's a newspaper. What did you think?"

Donna looked at them both and shook her head. "No, just give me a second. I was looking through this paper for some gossip to put on air and I ran across this article. You guys know who Able Strong is right?" Half the group nodded. Donna continued. "Well, they were filming some scenes at the studio where Jackie works. Look."

She laid out the Entertainment spread which showed the picture of a fabulous looking Jackie Burkhart standing next to Kathleen, a shadowy picture of the gaffe crew and then Jackie laughing while sitting on someone's lap.

Hyde devoured the picture of his ex-girlfriend. She looked so happy and natural and just gorgeous in that evening gown. Donna grabbed a pencil…"Right there. It's Eric."

Four heads knocked together to see the shadowy picture. Kelso was to first to state, "Can't be. Eric's in Africa and that guys too tall."

Fez disagreed slightly, "I mean he looks like a guy that could look like Eric, but I don't think its Eric."

Kitty walked in the door. "What are you kids looking at?"

Donna said excitedly, "Mrs. Forman, we have a picture of Eric."

Kitty feigned ignorance, "Really - because I just got some Polaroid pictures before Christmas." Kitty knew about the newspaper article and needed to get this situation under control. "Let me see."

Donna pointed to Jackie sitting on someone's lap. "Right there. That's Eric."

Kitty clucked her tongue. "No honey, that's Bert. See how light his hair is? He's drunk and you know Eric doesn't drink all that much. How could he be there at a party and call me from Africa in the same night?"

Donna looked at the picture again. Bert looked like he could be Eric's cousin. She looked at Kelso. "You guys saw Bert's twin sister right?"

Kelso shuddered, "Oh god. She's not going to attract any guy in the near future." He glanced at the pictures again. "Jackie looks great, but Bert? I hope they slapped his face and not his butt at birth!"

The consensus of the group was that Bert resembled Eric but Donna was confused. "Why don't you and Randy go to the drive in with us?" Hyde offered.

Donna shook her head. "That's okay. Randy and I are just being friends for now. I've got to go."

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