It was early morning as Daryl trudged towards the prison grounds. Everywhere was silent except for the occasional walker's groan as they spotted him. It didn't take him much to take them out, but with the deer slung over one shoulder, it was a pain having to retrieve his bolts from their rotten heads.
The gates opened, allowing him entry, where he dumped the carcass he had been carrying for several hours in the courtyard. He was tired, weary and covered in a gruesome mixture of seat, blood and dirt. He entered the prison, trudging towards the cell block, his crossbow slung over his shoulder.
'Hey,' Carol's stern voice stopped him.
'Go and wash up.' She said, standing in the doorway of her own bunk, hands on hips
Daryl stared at her, too tired to argue. All he wanted to do was collapse on his bed and sleep. He glanced down at himself, seeing the grime that caked both his body and his clothes, and sighed. He ran one filthy hand down his face.
'Yes ma'am,' he said sarcastically, turning back around.
'Who do you think cleans up this place?' Carol called after him. He ignored her, but she was right. He was leaving a hell of a mess in his wake.
Thankfully, his trip to the showers was undisturbed, as it was still early enough for most people not to have risen. He found the showers blissfully empty, which would make the ordeal so much easier. He didn't particularly like showering, it seemed futile in this environment, and there was always the fear of being caught short without his clothes on. Hell, he had only recently started sleeping without his boots on.
He turned on the water, impressed by the power and the warmth it generated. Thankfully their prison had its own generator which had served them well, and would hopefully continue to do so.
He was surprised to find shampoo and shower wash within the shower, someone must have thought to grab them on a supply run. He mused over this as he squirted some into his hands, watching the thick grime and mud run down his body and pool onto the shower floor. They were not things he would have ever thought to grab.
Daryl stayed in the shower longer than he had thought he would, once he was undressed and under the water it didn't seem worth getting back out so soon. Besides, his muscles were sore and stiff from hunting deer the past two days and sleeping rough, so the warm water was pretty relaxing. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting the water run down over his face, the soap suds adding a pleasantly relaxing aroma to the air and to his hair.
Alone and relaxed, a feeling which was pretty alien to him, his mind wandered to Beth. He had opted to go hunting for a more substantial food supply because it was necessary, but also because he felt he needed some time away. Trapped up in the prison with Beth always so close was no good for him. He knew now what her intentions towards him were – at least, he thought he did. She had instigated the kiss between them, much to his surprise. She was so young and beautiful, never in his wildest dreams would he have entertained a notion of her attraction to him, yet she had kissed him.
And he had kissed her back. It was like he hadn't fully realised just how much he had wanted to kiss her until he was kissing her. Her lips had been so soft, her body so smooth and warm beside his. He shook his head, rubbing the water from his eyes, embarrassed to realise his body had reacted to the memories in ways he didn't particularly want it to.
He turned the shower on to cold, using it to wash away the grime that had now accumulated in his mind. He felt like an old pervert.
. . .
Daryl headed back out from the showers and into the canteen, intending to grab something to eat before he crashed out. He was absent-mindedly tousling his wet hair as he entered the room, yawning. The warm water had only served to tire him out even more. As he wandered into the room the soft sound of singing reached his ears. He stopped, contemplating leaving, but he had already entered the room now.
Beth was sitting at a table feeding Judith formula with her bottle, softly singing to her. She looked up as Daryl walked in.
He nodded towards her. She could sense the awkwardness that surrounded him. He walked past her to the pantry, rummaging in silence for a while. Beth sat with Judith on her lap, looking down at her. She looked up to see him come out, her blue eyes wary, her full, pink lower lip between her teeth.
'Daryl,' she said, biting the bullet, 'I wanted to apologise – for the other day.'
Daryl looked at her, a tub of peanut butter in his hand.
'For being sick...' Beth said, biting her bottom lip.
Daryl seemed to thaw a little as he threw her a smile. He wandered over to her and sat next to her.
'Don't worry 'bout tha',' he said, 's'not a problem.'
'I feel terrible about it,' Beth said, gently bouncing Judith on her lap.
Daryl shook his head, leaning his elbows back on the table behind him.
'It's the kinda reaction I'd expect afta kissing me.' He said.
Beth turned her head to look at him, her eyebrows shooting up.
'Don't be ridiculous.' She said. 'It had nothing to do with that and you know it. Beside,' she added, blushing, 'thinking about kissing you is the only thing that makes me feel better about the situation.'
Daryl looked her up and down, his own eyes wary now behind his still wet hair.
'Honestly,' she said, her voice low, 'all I really want is to kiss you again.'
'It aint gon' make you sick?' Daryl said, raising an eyebrow at her.
Beth laughed, looking back down at the baby on her lap.
'Definitely not.' She said.
Daryl looked at her, taking a deep breath.
'It shouldn't a'happened,' he said quietly, sighing.
Beth stayed silent, looking down at Judith.
'It can't happen again,' Daryl said, leaning forward so he could see the profile of Beth's face, as she kept her gaze steady on the baby.
'What if I want it to?' Beth almost whispered.
Daryl licked his lips.
'It don't matter. It can't matter.' He said.
'You don't want to?' Beth asked, turning to look at him.
Daryl drank in her face with his eyes, trying to keep them from her slightly parted lips. Her eyes were full of honest integrity as they sparkled at him, almost pleading.
He cleared his throat.
'I do,' he sighed, 'but I can't.'
Beth looked at him for a while, her eyes locked on his.
Their intimate moment was only broken by the arrival of Zach, who had come looking for Beth.
'Hey!' he called, wandering into the room, 'fancy showing me how to become a decent farmer again?' He asked, standing a little way from them. Daryl had dropped his gaze to the jar in his hand, reading the label.
'Sure,' Beth said, trying to sound chirpy, but she wasn't sure it came through in her voice. She stood up, hoisting up Judith.
'Daryl, will you take Judith back to Rick for me?' she asked, turning to look at him.
'Uh huh,' Daryl nodded, taking Judith from Beth. He didn't look up at her. Beth leant to stroke Judith's cheek as she put her in Daryl's arms, an aching desperation to reach up and touch Daryl's face overwhelming her.
She stood up and stretched out her arms.
'Alright, thanks.' She said, then she risked saying, 'Showering becomes you – you smell good.'
Daryl looked up at her, his eyebrows raised at her cheek, but she simply smiled then left with Zach. Daryl watched her go, holding the baby on his laps, wondering what the hell he was going to do now.
. . .
Beth spent the rest of the morning chatting idly with Zach as they worked in the plot. He was genuinely good company, Beth found. They had a lot in common when it came to common interests and lifestyles. They chatted about their lives before the fall and their families, and Zach made Beth laugh quite a lot until she was feeling happier than she had for a while. It was refreshing, she realised, to spend some time with someone her own age, albeit a couple years older.
'Oh look!' Beth suddenly cried, making Zach jump.
'What?' he asked, picking up the shovel and hoisting it in the air, looking around frantically.
'There!' Beth whispered, holding her hand out to stop Zach. She pointed down to just outside the allotment. An absolutely tiny baby squirrel was sitting there, watching them.
'Oh,' Zach breathed, lowering his makeshift weapon.
Beth stepped towards it in a lowered crouch, as silently as she could. Its big eyes were watching her as its nose twitched lightly. Beth crouched down before it and lay her hand on the floor, keeping as still as she could. Zach stayed where he was, watching.
Gingerly, the squirrel approached Beth's hand, sniffing lightly at it. Then, in a quick jump, it climbed into her palm.
Beth gasped and turned to look at Zach, her blue eyes sparkling as she beamed.
'You're like a real life fairy tale,' Zach said softly.
Beth gently cupped the squirrel and lifted it up, holding it close to her chest. Amazingly, it stayed, twitching its nose. Beth had never seen something so tiny and so fluffy. Her heart melted to her feet as she looked at the tiny creature. She looked up to see Zach smiling at it.
'Beautiful.' He said softly, as she lowered her eyes back to the baby critter in her hand.
. . .
Beth was full of sunshine and laughter that evening as she followed Zach into the canteen. She recounted her story of the baby squirrel to her sister, Carl and Patrick who sat with them, each of them listening with the same amount of joy.
'You should'a seen her,' Zach told them happily as he sat beside her, 'it was like she was Snow White or something – it just hopped straight on into her hand, no fear. It was kind of magical.'
As she sat back after having eaten a warm dinner, listening to her sister tell her own story, the memory of the baby squirrel in her hands, she felt at peace. She looked around the room, admiring this fact. They were in a prison, but they were alive and well, they had food, protection, water. People around her were chatting happily, passing the evening in simple idleness. It was a scene Beth wanted to be able to remember and not take for granted. She looked around, spotting Rick with Judith in his lap, chatting with her father. It was good.
Although Daryl was not around.
He's probably on guard duty, she thought.
Feeling light and good natured, she collected enough food in a bowl, wrapped it in a towel, and told the people she was with her plan.
'I'm going to take it to Daryl,' she said.
'Good idea!' Patrick piped up.
Maggie, Beth noticed, was looking at her, but she didn't look back at her sister. She was tired of her second guessing. It was an innocent, kind hearted gesture, and she didn't want that tainted.
Bidding goodbye to the table she sat with, Beth left the warm and fairly loud interior of the canteen and headed outside. The main guard tower, closest to their entrance, had been destroyed by the governor's forces, but there were still several others standing. They had moved their forces to one of the nearer, still intact towers, so it was this one Beth headed for.
It wasn't quite dark yet. In the dusky light Beth could make out Daryl on the deck of the tower, leaning over the railings. He was looking away from her, out towards the fields of walkers. Holding the bowl to her chest, she approached the door and slipped inside. It was dark in the tower itself, so Beth was careful not to drop her bowl as she ascended the rungs of the ladder. She reached the top, pushing open the door, then clambered out and made her way to the outside deck where Daryl still was.
'Hey,' she said softly, trying not to make him jump.
Her arrival still startled him. He spun around, his gun held aloft, a cigarette between his lips. He shook his head, lowering it, when he saw it was Beth.
'Why is it everywhere I go ya turn up?' he said in a puff of exhaled smoke, raising an eyebrow at her and taking the cigarette between his fingers.
'I just can't stand to be away from you, Daryl Dixon,' she replied, piling on the sass. Then she held the bowl out to him. 'I brought you food.'
'Thanks,' Daryl said, taking it. 'But I got this.' He pointed to a dead squirrel over in the corner. Beth grimaced at the sight, her heart hardening as she thought of the tiny version of ti she had held only hours before. Daryl either did not notice, or chose to ignore, her discomfort, as he placed the bowl of food down on the wooden table by the door and returned the cigarette to his mouth. Beth watched as the end of it lit up as he inhaled, illuminating the gaunt features of his face.
'You doing okay?' she asked, wrapping her arms around her chest.
Daryl nodded, looking at her.
'Y'dont have to stay here,' he said around the cigarette in his mouth.
Beth shrugged one shoulder.
'It don't exactly help much me always being around ya,' he said, turning back around to lean on the railings.
Beth walked up beside him, leaning over the railings herself. She watched as he blew the smoke out into the night.
'We should talk, at least.' Beth said, looking down to the walkers below.
'Aint nothin' t'talk about.' He said.
'That's a lie and you know it,' Beth said, turning to face him. She looked up at his profile, his dark hair falling in front of his face, his elbow leaning on the cold railing bar, holding the cigarette to his lips.
'You kissed me back.' She said.
'Beth,' Daryl warned, twisting his head to look at her, 'I told ya I shouldn't'a done that. 'N' I said it wont happen again.'
'Okay.' Beth said, 'if that's what you want. But we both live here, we can't go around tiptoeing round one another, avoiding each other.'
'I don't wanna avoid ya,' Daryl said quietly.
Beth leant her hand on his forearm, feeling him flinch slightly at her touch, at the electricity that seemed to buzz beneath her fingertips.
He looked round at her, then sighed, taking the cigarette from his mouth.
'It's been a hectic couple'a weeks,' he sighed, rubbing his face, 'm'heads not exactly in th' best place.'
'I know,' Beth said softly, 'but I'm still your friend. You can still talk t' me.'
Daryl sighed, slowly taking the last drag of his cigarette before flicking it out over the railings. Beth watched as it tumbled lightly, falling over itself in spirals.
'I found m'brother,' he said, 'then I lost him again.'
Beth stayed silent, her hand still resting on his arm.
'E'rythin' I knew is gone now,' he said, leaning down over his arms, his shoulders hunched, 'Merle was the last link I had t' before, y'know?'
'Yeah,' Beth said softly.
'Bu' he gave us a fightin' chance,' Daryl said, looking up and out over the landscape, 'finally decided to stop being a selfish jackass an' it got 'im killed.'
Beth bit her lip, not knowing what to say. She thought staying silent was probably her best course of action. Daryl didn't really seem to want answers, anyway.
'I guess I gotta be happy fo' tha'. He figured out how t'do the righ' thing in th' end.' Daryl sighed.
'He did it for you,' Beth said softly.
'Mm,' Daryl nodded slowly, then exhaled a long sigh. He turned his body to face Beth, taking her hands in his.
'I stab m'brother in the face then I'm kissin' you.' he said, a half smile playing on his lips.
Beth looked into his eyes.
'Guess I dunno my own head no more.'
'Don't over think things.' Beth said. 'I don't think you really can in this world, now. Everything just... is.'
Daryl nodded.
'It is wha' it is.' he said.
'Exactly,' Beth murmured. She took her hands from his and lay them on his face, looking deep into his dark blue eyes.
'I want to kiss you so bad, Daryl Dixon,' she whispered.
'Why?' he said softly, frowning at her.
'Why?' Beth repeated, 'because I think you're insanely hot, and I'm drawn to you in ways I don't even understand.'
'I'm no good f'ya,' Daryl sighed, 'I'm too old f'ya.'
'It is what it is.' Beth said seriously, conveying everything she felt in her gaze.
Daryl looked pained. Beth could see him swallow, could see the way his eyes were pulled into a strained grimace.
'Beth – your dad – your sister...' he said, but he had snaked his arms around her waist.
'They're not here,' Beth said quietly, pulling herself closer to him until their bodies were touching. 'And life is so precious now, don't you think?'
Daryl nodded slightly as Beth pulled herself up on to her tiptoes to kiss him. Their mouths met and Beth felt her entire body melt into him as he held her against him. He kissed her back, moving his jaw against hers, his hands pressing firmly into her lower back, arching her towards him and pressing her stomach against his. Beth wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer and held her tightly to him; she could taste the cigarette smoke on his tongue, but it didn't bother her. She felt all her stress just melt away.
The kiss broke naturally, and they parted lips, both breathing heavy.
'You're gonna get me killed,' Daryl breathed, kissing along her jawline.
Beth shuddered as his stubble scratched her face, her breathing heavy with exhilaration.
Pulling back, Daryl took her by the hand and led her into the guard tower and out from under the night sky, which by now had grown to an inky dark, causing a drop in the temperature.
Beth sat herself down on a blanket that was already in the room, watching Daryl as he stood before her.
'Sit with me,' she breathed, patting the blanket beside her.
Daryl sighed, then dropped himself down on the floor beside her. Beth instantly linked her arm through his and leant her head on his shoulder.
'You push yer luck,' he sighed, but Beth just giggled and nuzzled her head further into his neck.
'Wha' do we do now?' Daryl sighed, leaning his head back against the wall behind them.
Beth looked up at him, seeing the chiselled line of his jaw and exposed neck as he leaned back. She gently kissed the pale, exposed skin.
'We could kiss some more,' she said.
Daryl looked down at her, smiling, and it was that same smile that had very first melted her. Genuine and honest.
'Y'know what I mean,' he said, unlinking his arm from hers so he could wrap it around her shoulders, 'we've crossed a line here. Why you always gotta be so stubborn, girl?'
Beth smiled up at him. Despite what he was saying, he was the most relaxed Beth had ever seen him. It melted her heart to be so close to him, to be so casual and okay.
She moved up to kiss him again, and this time he kissed her back instantly, pulling her close with the arm wrapped tight around her shoulder.
'Y'need t'go t'bed,' he said as she pulled away.
'Are you my father now?' she breathed, leaning back up to plant small kisses against his lips.
'Stop it.' He warned.
'I can stay in here, with you,' she offered, fluttering her eyelashes up at him.
'Tha's a terrible fuckin' idea,' Daryl shook his head, gently pushing her away from him. 'No. I'll see you in th'mornin'.'
Sighing and recognising when it was time to call it quits, Beth picked herself up and dusted herself down.
'Sweet dreams then, Mr Dixon.' she said.
He smirked after her as he watched her leave, feeling very much like he was playing with fire.