The Donovans were always boring

08x12

What a mess right? And this time I´m not just talking about my life, but that´s maybe a little harsh since I don´t have a life, but luckily for you I live my non-existent life through fictional characters and famous people. Yeeeeeeeeaaaahhhh.

Last episode

(Damn it. I watched it four ago and I already forgot what happened. Shit)

The fun part is done people, because Stefan is human again. Total bummer.

Herohair gets arrested and almost went to prison for being a freaking murderer, but his delusional girlfriend can´t accept that and his past. Blondie frees Stefan, who feels guilty for making a little girl an almost orphan. So they find her mom. The brave warrior mom stabs Stefan, but of course Stefan is harder to kill than my commitment issues. Meanwhile we get a look into the life of Matts boring ancestor. The idiot gets tricked by the sirens to manipulate the bell. (Ups that woman was Sybil after all. Aren´t I a little dummy?)Some witches die and Matts ancestor gets locked in the armoury.

Damon gives Cade that diary to protect his worthless brother's life, but luckily he read the passage in which they explain to you how to kill Cade, which is stupid, because Cade would know if he had read that. He is a god damn mind reader.

Bonnie is still sad that Enzo is dead and has some door open in her head. Does she have magic now? Her mommy, my very favourite sugar mama, burns Enzo's body. In the end Damon and the old man reunite and try to give their epic bromance another chance. They find some glass knife that supposedly can kill Cade and everything is good, but then SHOCKER Kai appears. I don´t know Kai, but he seems like one cool motherfucker. I understand all the Bonkai shippers. He is exactly what stuck up Bonnie needs to finally relax a little. Her last relationship is over too, sooooo rebound?

Bonnie and Matt have a scene and then Stefan foolishly plans to apologize to Bonnie. Dude you killed her serious boyfriend. Stay away. Then he gets abducted.

Theories and thoughts

I told you! I motherfucking told you! I knew that they were going to bring back Kai. He is the only one that can bring female main character back. He is the only one that would know and that´s why it was clear that he´d be back.

Saw that person that abducted Stefan? (Q excitedly claps her hand and looks like a serial killer at her screen) Looked female to me. She was tiny and quick. Could that be Lexi? Now shut up and stop rolling your eyes. I know that this betch thinks everyone is Lexi, but this time it looks better than ever. Kai is now here and I guess that those eleven strikes not only set Cade free, but also some surprise visitors. Also Lexi always appeared, when Stefan had some sort of identity crisis and he has another one, because that never gets boring (sarcasm).

Of course they are not going to bring back Elena in the next episode. You know that right? Now that we are at the last four episodes I think it is pretty clear that they are now going to fully push our sleeping beauty back into the storyline. I don´t get why Cade hasn´t taken her coffin yet. Elena is the ultimate pressure material for the group. They would do anything for Elena. Awesome theory by the way.

I don´t get why Matt isn´t a vampire now. His pulse was at zero, which means dead. He had Damon's blood in his system and then wakes up. For people who hate Matt this would be the best thing ever. He´d pull a daddy Forbes and die, because he wouldn´t want to become a vampire.

Damon totally lied to Stefan. He doesn´t think there is redemption for any of them.

All guest people, who are appearing in the last episode are currently dead, but the dead often come alive at night kids.

Next episodes promo

Kai is back in town and he brought his mischievous smile with him. He says he knows how to kill my husband, but he wants to be freed from hell, implying that there really is a way to do that. Alaric wants to kill Kai, who surprisingly isn´t British, but he knows how to bring back Elena so they don´t kill him.

Stefan is somewhere in the woods being held captive by someone and playing in dirt. Congratulations Stefan. You finally found something that you can relate to. Let´s all give Stefan a slow clap for that.

Bonnie is meditating and Cade focuses his attention on her and messes with her head.

Damon and Kai, or Kaimon if you want, visit Elena's coffin. Do they just let that sit around in the woods somewhere? Shouldn´t someone guard it? Damon tells him to bring back Elena and Kai makes a joke that actually made me laugh. Can he please stay for a little longer Julie? I promise I´ll do the dishes.

I know that I´m late again and I really need to hold myself back right now, because I really want to do a period joke right now, but sadly I have decided that it is repetitive and that I´m too classy.

Happy Valentine's Day to the disgusting couples. Get a room.

And for all my single ladies here is a poem:

Roses are read

Violets are blue

Wine is cheaper

Than dinner for two

I´m out. Only four episodes to go.

XOXO

Q