Chapter 25
Bog chuckles softly as he sets down the box he's carrying. It feels so freeing to no longer be worried about the mistakes that he made in the past and to have a real hope for the future instead of living in the constant terror of what if. The best feeling, however, is remembering what it's like to be in love. 'Or is it even remembering? This sure feels different than when I thought that I was in love with Angelina,' he muses.
Thinking of his once-love brings a bit of discomfort to him but not even the thought of her actions can weigh him down for long. He's sure that everything will be alright. Marianne definitely seems to think so and as Bhaltair sets down the box he's carrying, Bog can't find a reason not to believe her. The lanky teenager wipes his hands onto his pants before grinning up at his father.
"That's the last box," Bhaltair announces. "I'm glad that Marianne is staying. I've only been around her for a few days but I think she makes a better mother than Mum."
"Me too," Bog agrees. "But your maw is still your maw."
"I know," the teenager sighs. "Marianne told me the same thing on Monday but it's just hard, Dad. I grew up knowing that Mum didn't really want me and that she only took care of me because she had to. She made no secret of it, telling me constantly how much she had to sacrifice just for me. Every time I came to your house I had hoped that one day that you would ask me to stay with you and Gran and with Beathan. But you never did and I started to wonder if you only let me visit because you had to, too. When Mum gave me her version of the truth, I thought that if I treated you like she treated you then she would finally accept me but she didn't."
"I'm so sorry, lad," Bog murmurs. "Yer Gran has complained a great deal about me not talking enough about things and maybe if I did then none of this would have gotten this bad. There isn't any excuse to give ye, only the truth, and the truth is that I thought that this was for the best. I never wanted to make ye feel that I didn't want ye because I wanted ye with all my heart. Ye are my lad, Bhaltair, and I love ye just as much as I love yer brother. I love ye both more than my own life and I thought that yer maw loved ye just as much. I didn't know that she treated ye like that."
"I don't blame you for not knowing about Mum's attitude since she always acted the loving mother part around everyone and I could've said something but I didn't," Bhaltair comments. "All of us kept silent about things that we probably should have talked about. We are both at fault for not talking about the important things. Beathan and I talked a lot about what you told us on Sunday. We...I can understand your reasons for not telling us, I mean, we were just kids and had no business knowing stuff like that."
"But ye grew up and I should have acknowledged that," Bog mutters. "I was terrified of what the two of ye would say and do once ye found out the truth, so I kept putting off telling ye. Although, I did tell yer Gran that if I didn't manage to tell ye before ye both graduated secondary school then she was to force us all to talk on the day of yer graduation."
"You gave Gran permission to hold us hostage? What were you thinking," Bhaltair questions, mischief sparkling in his blue eyes?
Bog laughs and shakes his head before pushing the cheeky teenager back towards the house. It's kind of strange to have this easygoingness with his eldest son after so many years of tension between the two of them but he definitely enjoys it. It gives him the hope that everything will be alright after all.
"Are you coming, Dad? We still got to get your desk and filing cabinets out here," Bhaltair calls back.
"Everything will be alright," Bog mutters to the evening sky before joining his son.
"I will be paying rent," Marianne insists before drinking from her mug.
"Ye already heard Maw and she's had more years at being stubborn than ye," Bog chuckles.
"It's your house," Marianne points out.
"And Maw is its mistress," he counters. "It was built for her, after all."
"Built for her? Didn't your dad also build it for himself," she chuckles?
"Actually, no," Bog responds, laughing at her shocked expression. "Before they got married, Da lived in Coille Dorcha but Maw was uneasy about moving that far away from her sisters, so he bought this piece of land and built the house for her. He didn't even tell her about it until after it was finished, so she had been getting ready to move to Coille Dorcha when Da surprised her by bringing her here a few weeks before the official wedding."
"People actually live in Coille Dorcha here in Scotland? I thought it was like its American counterpart and was more of a nature park with only the groundskeepers living there," Marianne comments.
"The American Coille Dorcha is smaller than the one here and although we do limit the amount of modernization that is done on Coille Dorcha lands, it is inhabited by farms and the village of Coille Dorcha," he explains. "However, no one lives in Caisteal Coille Dorcha expect the keeper, presently Archibald Mcgallrigh, and his immediate family. I'll make sure to give ye the full tour when we head up there next week with yer family. Ye do know how to ride a horse, right?"
"I've never ridden a horse before," she admits.
"No problem, ye can ride with me," Bog offers, chuckling as Marianne blushes at his wink. "I'd take ye up tomorrow but since it is yer last day off and we need to move yer things here, it'll be too late by the time we're done. Although, we can go up on yer next day off and have Angus bring yer family up later."
"I think Dad would actually kill me if I went there without taking him along too," Marianne remarks. "Hard to believe that my grown father actually pouted when Sunny told him that they shouldn't go visit before Mom and Dawn arrived...well, not that hard to believe. He loves old architecture and once Griselda showed him a picture of Caisteal Coille Dorcha, that was it."
Bog echos her laughter at the reminder of Donald's enthusiasm and subsequent disappointment after everyone's laughter had settled down about the Mcgallrigh's involvement with Marianne's failed wedding. The elderly man was enthralled with the picture and had immediately wanted to see it in person, only to be foiled by Sunny.
"Hopefully, Donald won't be too disappointed when he finds out that Caisteal Coille Dorcha was rebuilt fairly recently," he comments. "It was after WWII that the skeleton of the original castle became despised because it represented defeat and every relation that could, answered the call to rebuild. They rebuilt it the old-fashioned way and used whatever stones that were still useable from the original castle but a lot of it is new stone."
"Trust me, he won't be disappointed at all," she reassures. "In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if he can ever be disappointed. It's something I wish I believed earlier because it sure would have saved us so much time. I know he says that it's alright but..."
"I know the feeling," Bog mentions at her rough sigh. "We both have some things that we regret about our actions in the past but didn't ye tell me that there is no point worrying about that and that what's done is done and ye can't change it."
"No fair using my own advice against me," Marianne complains. "Besides, this is somewhat different since I was doing this for my own selfish sake."
"I'm a father, Marianne, just like yer father and I don't think Donald feels any different about ye than I do for my own lads," he remarks. "Bhaltair and I talked a bit while we were coming home after the hearing and he told me some of the things that he told ye, including that he was planning on leaving after his graduation. I know it would have broken my heart to see my lad gone but I know just as surely, that the day that he would come back would be the happiest day of my life. I've already experienced something like that for the past four years and though Bhaltair is regretful of his past attitude, I don't even care about all of that anymore because now we can create new memories to replace the missing ones. Just like ye can now create new memories with yer family."
Marianne hums to his comment before taking another sip from her drink. She understood where Bog and her dad were coming from but it was just hard to forgive herself. For nine years she had stuffed her family in the back of her mind without any more than a slight thought toward them or even caring how they were all doing.
She didn't know that her sister nearly married her ex-fiance or that said ex-fiance was a complete jerk. She wasn't there when Sunny surprised Dawn with a singing proposal at the grand opening of Three Little Birds two and a half years ago. She may have been there for two of her cousins' weddings but she wasn't there for the birth of their children or for the weddings of her other four cousins. She didn't know about Aunt Linda's passing two years ago or that Uncle Taylor, who had sworn to remain widowed since his wife's death twenty years ago, is now in a relationship that his three sons are encouraging.
She had shut them out of her life for nine years and the only reason they're reconnecting now is because of someone else's involvement. She didn't even have the courage or desire to reconnect with them herself. How could she forgive herself?
"You helped us out to deal with our family troubles but now you're having trouble when it comes to dealing with your own family troubles. That's a bad example, you know," Bhaltair comments.
"Nurses make bad patients," Marianne chuckles, looking toward the teenager leaning out of the patio door. "Shouldn't you be going to sleep? You do have school tomorrow."
"Beathan asked me to get his pain meds," Bhaltair explains.
"Is something wrong," Bog asks, starting to push up from his chair?
"He said that his legs are hurting a little but we can deal with it," Bhaltair reassures hastily. "Continue your date."
"Date? You're pushing your luck, kid," Marianne scolds between her laughter. "Not to mention, you're taking after your grandmother. You're beginning to see romance in everything."
"I'm hardly wrong," Bhaltair quips.