A/N: I was on a roll today so I decided to keep writing until I had no thoughts left. There's just one thing I need to know before I continue with this story.

I have a storyline planned out, which means there will be another sequel after this one. If you guys don't want a sequel than the end to this story will end differently. So let me know what you all think about this. Sequel or not?

Special thanks to red2013, jenny crum, Sophia0665, K8e1, CM Fan, Christiangirl and Westie80!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 24: Giving up

After his day in court, Hotch had been driving around aimlessly. He had no one to go home to. Haley had decided to stay with Jessica for the upcoming week, so the house was completely empty. He just couldn't be alone. He needed some company. Well, he didn't need some company. He needed JJ. So he dug up her address and decided to pay the blonde a visit. He didn't like the way things ended in the restaurant. He wanted to be on good terms with her and he would do anything to get there. He just needed JJ to listen for a moment without getting defensive. He wanted to tell her everything he felt. He had been keeping those feelings inside for seven years and he could no longer hold them in. Each day without JJ had been a struggle. Remembering her had been the good times and imaging her next to him gave him some peace when he fell asleep. But when he woke up from his dreams he woke up to someone else. A woman he did love, but never on the same level as he loved JJ. No one could ever reach that level, only her.

Hotch refocused when he was finally standing in front of the door to her apartment. He was only one door away from seeing her and probably being yelled at. That had definitely not changed about JJ. She still stood up for herself and he loved that about her, but sometimes it was hard to get through to her. And now was a time he needed to get through to her, at any cost.

So his hand collided with the door. He waited a few seconds, hearing nothing. But then suddenly the door opened slowly, revealing an emotional and exhausted blonde. He felt his heart sink when their eyes locked. Something was definitely wrong.

JJ had no energy to yell at him so she stepped away from the door and let him pass by her. She closed the door and dropped down to the couch with her headache resurfacing. Her confrontation with Griffen didn't help much. It only contributed to make it worse than before. ''How can I help you?'' she asked.

Hotch sat down on the other end of the couch and breathed in deeply before responding to her question. He was mentally preparing himself because this decision was going to change the course of his life. ''I came here to talk to you about…'' he stopped. He looked into her eyes, knowing this was the right thing to do. ''about…me…you…us.''

''I don't know what's left to talk about, Aaron.'' JJ began. ''It's pretty simple. I loved and then I lost. There's not a better way to describe what happened between us and you're still not making it any easier for me to do this.''

Hotch leaned backwards, trying to get comfortable. ''JJ, do you remember what it felt like when we were together?''

''I never forgot.'' she replied. ''You broke my heart, Aaron. And I uhh…didn't know how to move on. I still don't because when I look at you I still see everything I saw seven years ago. I still feel the same way.'' she admitted. ''But I also see and feel all the pain you've caused me and that keeps coming back to the surface each time you're near me.''

She looked up at him after her confession and he just stared at her. She realized he didn't expect that to happen after everything that had happened between them. ''I haven't felt like that since you came into my life.'' she went on. ''And I feel like I fall for the wrong people because right now I'm having feelings for someone who's a complete jerk.''

Her last admission made him realize she was talking about Griffen. He had seen something between the two of them. The way he looked at her was exactly like he did. And the thought of losing her to Griffen made him vomit. But he knew deep down the man wasn't all that bad. He had just discovered some hidden truths about the powerful lawyer and it only made his behavior clear to him. He had a past filled with tragedy that led him to be cold and stoic. ''I don't know what to say to you.''

''That's what I thought.'' JJ said on the verge of anger. ''You never know what to say to me.''

''Do you have any idea what it's been like for me to be in this position?'' he asked, the sadness present in his voice. ''I've thought about you every single day, JJ. I never stopped loving you and I've regretted my choice ever since I made it.''

A shiver went through her body when she heard his voice. He meant each word and she felt it in his emotions. ''You destroyed me, Aaron. And even worse, you destroyed us.'' she whispered. ''How could you've done that? Didn't you realize that your choice was the real end to our relationship? That I wasn't coming back?''

''I love you, JJ.'' he said as a tear fell down her face in response. ''I'm here now and I will do anything to make it up to you.''

JJ rose from the couch and walked to the other side of the room. She pulled her cardigan tightly around her waist, like she was trying to protect herself. ''This isn't fair. Not to me and especially not to Haley.'' she cried out. ''You can't just come in here and announce that to me.''

''Haley and I both know that our relationship is over.''

''You're married to her! How can that just be over?'' she asked with tears in her eyes. ''It doesn't change anything, Aaron.''

JJ kept moving backwards with each step he took, and the wall stopped her from moving. He was still closing in on her. Her chest was heaving and her breaths increased rapidly. The smell of his cologne tightened her throat. It was almost as if she was losing her sense of reality. But she couldn't let it happen. He couldn't have that power over her. She couldn't sleep with him. She couldn't be with him. ''Don't do this, Aaron.'' she breathed out as she felt his hand on her waist. She was leaning into his touch while she tried to fight her feelings off. If she had no brain, she wouldn't think for a second, but she did have a brain. Unfortunately. ''You'll never forgive yourself.''

''I'll never forgive myself if I don't do this.'' he whispered, pulling her against his body. ''You're so beautiful, JJ.''

JJ knew she would never stop him. She had no real reason to. She wasn't in a committed relationship and she knew her feelings for Griffen had to disappear eventually. Hotch seemed like the perfect opportunity to forget a long and messy week of work. But as she leaned in to kiss him, she realized she couldn't make it a one-nightstand. And that's all it would be. She couldn't promise him anything. She wasn't capable of giving him her heart and it would take a lot more time for her to trust him again. It simply couldn't happen.

So she put her hand on his chest and took a step away. ''I can't do this. As much as I want to.'' she sighed. ''I'm too torn with my feelings to fall into bed with you.''

''I respect your honesty, JJ.'' Hotch said as he stepped away from her. He was contempt with what had happened. She admitted she had feelings for him. Well, she still felt something, but she was also having feelings for someone else and that was in the back of his mind. ''I'll talk to you later?''

''Yeah, of course.'' she agreed, following him to the door. ''Bye, Aaron.'' she said before he left.

She closed the door behind him and leaned against it in frustration. She was doubting all of her knowledge of her life and love. She didn't know what was right or who was right. Griffen? Aaron? A stranger even? Who could make her happy for a long time? Because she wanted something serious and real for the rest of her life. She missed that special someone who would be there for you no matter what. Only time could tell.