author's notes: Hi folks! This is the last chapter of the adventures of one Agrippina Valeria Tullius. Soon she'll see Tamriel and Skyrim from a perspective that not even the fabled dragons can brag about. And at the end of her quest, she's in for a huuuge surprise. But enough teasers! Please read and review.

disclaimer: Project AHO is intellectual property of the modder Dimonoider. No profit (aside from humble praise) is gained in writing this story. I just "borrow" Dimonoider's cast. But Agrippina is my OC. That being said: back to the story.

Chapter 25: …Aaand lift-off!

Once again I woke up in the guest room of "Chitin & Flin". And as if on cue there came the Argonian woman-slave with the bucket and wipe-cloth for my cat wash. I didn't even want to know what Dalos did to his "staff" to make them so dutiful and despondent! But still I nodded and said a civil "Thank you".

Then I did my cleaning routine and dressed. Okay, today I would wear smalls with that lovely anchor design and the turquoise dress. That would suffice for Sadrith Kegran if I didn't stir up trouble, that is. Then I went down the tunnel to the counter, bought a chunk of garlic bread and some grilled chicken, milk too. After eating this breakfast I went in search of a courier and found one loitering at the entrance to the cave. Yes, my letter would be sent as soon as he, poor hard-working Altmer, had taken care of his blisters… Yeah, you look the part! I thought. But some things are better left unsaid.

Then I made my way to the mycelium and gawked again. There were just so many emperor parasol roots in this cave! Would all of them disentangle from the AHO in due time? At least I hoped so. Any violent disturbance of Tel And should really be avoided. Divines forbid that Evo Mils, along with his paperwork, poisons, daggers, desk and chair, suddenly tumbled head over heels! Or may the same Divines forbid that consuls Ever Milo and Marisa Verendas were flung through the air during delicate destruction magic practice!

But enough of the worst-case-scenarios! I entered the AHO through the hatch and called: "Hi there, master Yen-Ilu! Where are you?" From somewhere within the bowels of the AHO, I heard muffled clanking and cursing. Then, the Telvanni magister appeared from the portal to the left. He still had the tongs in his organic hand and wore a leather apron instead of his hybrid armour. Well it made him look far less intimidating!

"Hey sera Tullius!", he greeted me. "I'm done with the casings of the generators. Handling the aetherium from the prowler cores in its liquid state: that will be the tricky part. But it needs to be done. The aetherium core of the AHO, in a short while, will no longer be available to feed Tel And. Anyhow the core was waaay too much "fertilizer" for Tel And. Our emperor parasol pride and joy would soon have burst through the cave ceiling with its cap. Then our little secret settlement wouldn't be quite so secret any longer, don't you agree?"

"Yes but some fresh air would do well against all this conservative dust in the Council Hall!" I chuckled a bit then I continued more demurely. "Should I wait outside in the mycelium cave? Or is it safe to wait in here until you are done with transferring the aetherium, master Yen-Ilu?"

Master Yen-Ilu looked at me quizzically. Then he said: "Your stay in the AHO should be safe. There's really no need to wait outdoors. Say, have you ever helped in magic rituals of whatever kind? I could need another pair of hands to draw the rune circle of a protective ward. Do you feel up to the task?"

I gave a cautious reply. "Well apart from my childhood days, where I kissed the odd frog in hope of the critter turning into a dashing prince…" Here, master Ilu visibly winced. I continued quickly: "I also helped in the research of some scrolls that consul Milo had inherited from his blessed grandfather, though I'd rather not remember that ordeal. And I took some lessons in destruction from the court wizard of the Blue Palace in Solitude. But only the most basic stuff. Let's just say the woman is creepy and leave it at that."

Master Yen-Ilu put the tongs away on a table then clapped his hands. "Okay then, drawing runes does sound like recreation for you. Welcome to the team spell-wright!"

I looked at the Telvanni a bit flabbergasted. Now wait, what the heck?! But master Yen-Ilu had already turned around to leave for the upper floor. I sighed and followed him through the portal. I was transported to a circular platform that was surrounded by a metal railing. The platform was pretty empty aside from some wooden mannequins and a shelf for storing scrolls – and master Yen-Ilu of course.

He made some casual movements with his hand and animunculus arm and then the metal casings of the generators appeared out of thin air. Now that's a pretty useful trick! I thought. Then the Telvanni turned around and said to me: "If you'd please follow me, sera Tullius… The other stuff is in my lab. I will collect the aetherium cores and you can take glow dust and a calligraphy brush from the alchemy section." He also handed me the key to the cabinet.

I nodded and opened the cabinet. Phew what a smell! It was a breath-taking mix of sweetly, aromatic, rotten and acrid. "Glow dust, where are you?" I muttered to myself. Ah there it was in a bowl, unmistakeably bright yellow shimmering powder that smelled somehow otherworldly. I took the bowl from the board, locked the cabinet again and went in search of the brush. I found a whole lot of brushes in a bamboo roll on the table and picked a medium-sized one.

Master Yen-Ilu had the three prowler aetherium cores cradled in his arms and made a beckoning motion with his head. "Now please, let's return to the fore-room," he said. "Alas, rune circles don't draw themselves. Aaah I forgot! Maybe you need a little water from the bathtub on the ground floor to moisten the glow dust?"

I groaned audibly and threw my hands up in the air. Master Yen-Ilu put that rogue smile on his face and chirped: "Just joking! You can use your own spit all the same. Might work even better…"

And so we went down to business. I sucked the tip of the calligraphy brush. *hurp* Why was the thing made from SABRE CAT HAIR? Oh yeah, right: because the goldilocks of Dibella are incredibly hard to come by. Anyhow the next hour was…taxing. Master Yen-Ilu gave me a crash course in Deadric lettering. So many hooks, curves and sharp edges! No, I'm not talking about a hagraven but about Deadric characters. I dipped the top of the brush in the glow dust and began to write under tutelage of one Telvanni equipped with saintly patience. Don't ask me, how many times I had to erase my scrawl and start again. But in the end we got it done and the result looked even beautiful.

Then master Yen-Ilu did his mumbo jumbo, the chanting, the invocations et cetera. The aetherium liquefied, floated through the air and landed in the five casings. No accident had happened which I was glad for. Master Yen-Ilu dusted his hands off and I wiped my brow. Then he looked at me and said: "Let's place the generators on the little shoots of Tel And. I'll accompany you. The little shoots are scattered all over Sadrith Kegran. They are recognizable by their yellow, shining bulbs. We should strap the generators around the shoots one at a time. And time will show if we were successful."

And so we left for the upper district of Sadrith Kegran. I carried two of the generators; master Yen-Ilu carried three. We split up at the tunnel entrance near the inn. I followed the wooden walkway to the centre of the village. Oh there was one shoot behind Shaglak's general store! It was a spiky, black appendage and a yellow bubble was embedded in it. I took one of the aetherium generators from my backpack and strapped it to the shoot. The shoot shuddered quickly then went still again. So maybe that's a good sign? I thought. Then I followed the street to the Hla Fang estate. It had a typical Telvanni circular door, storage urns next to the door and even a Telvanni banner hanging from a post. Yes that would be a fine dwelling. But right now I had more pressing issues. I searched for an emperor parasol shoot, found one and equipped it with a generator, too. Now I would go looking for master Yen-Ilu.

xxx

Master Yen-Ilu was in a predicament, sort of. He had planted his first generators on small, ground-level shoots. So far, so good. But then he found a more "mature" shoot next to sera Elenil's alchemy workshop. It was approximately ten feet high and the Telvanni magister had suddenly felt…adventurous. He put a levitation spell on himself. But it had been a long time since he had practiced that sort of spell. In a cave there was no real need for defying gravity as the space was often quite enclosed. He started to float all right. He had even, clumsily, flown to the very top of the large shoot. But then the magic suddenly left him! No, he didn't drop. He managed to grab the shoot in a vice-like grip and wrapped his legs around it. Just peachy! Now he was stuck up here and felt like the biggest s'wit on Nirn.

To make matters even worse there was a witness to his folly. Tamina Elenil came out of her workshop to harvest her nightshades and death knells from the flowerbed. But then, she spied master Yen-Ilu clinging to the overgrown shoot and dropped her gardening tools in utter shock. "Yen! I mean serjo Yen-Ilu… What in Mephala's name are you doing to my baby?" she shrieked.

"Tamina look…This is all for the benefit of Sadrith Kegran in the end," the Telvanni magister claimed.

The alchemist lady snorted. "And how will you help Sadrith Kegran? By clinging to this fungus shoot like a frog to a reed?"

"Yeah, it might look pretty ridiculous…," master Yen-Ilu admitted.

"You don't say!" sera Elenil drawled.

"Anyhow; the problem is the aetherium core of the AHO. It attracts nearly every major root of Tel And and the minor mushroom houses. It's way too much fertilizer for Tel And. So me and sera Tullius are placing five portable aetherium generators on the shoots and buds of Tel And. This will hopefully divert the roots from the AHO. You see, we plan to launch the AHO shortly," the Telvanni magister explained.

"Launching the AHO? Blessed Sotha Sil do be careful with the preparations, master Yen-Ilu. I don't want to find Tel And torn asunder," Tamina Elenil cried.

Master Yen-Ilu clenched his teeth and hissed: "And this is why I'm taking all this trouble. Now if you would excuse me… Your "baby" won't be harmed in any way!"

Sera Elenil grumbled something along the lines of "hopefully" and turned to her poisonous plant life. Master Yen-Ilu rummaged around under his shirt with his mechanical hand and pulled out the aetherium generator. But he would have to use both hands to strap the thing to the mushroom shoot. Hopefully his legs were still toned and well-muscled! But then he saw his momentary apprentice come along the wooden walkway…

xxx

Now where in Julianos' name is master Yen-Ilu? I couldn't help but wonder. I had already been all over Sadrith Kegran (even in Merano Rendo's little refuge) and hadn't seen him. Then I let my eyes roam over the ponds near sera Elenil's workshop. There I spied the Telvanni magister clinging to this overgrown emperor parasol shoot. Oh dear! First I stared then I laughed so hard that my sides ached. Master Yen-Ilu heard me and blushed to an imposing shade of dark grey.

"Master Yen-Ilu how…?" I started to ask.

The scholar of Dwemer culture and technology growled like an angry wolf. "An unreliable levitation spell is to blame," he interrupted me.

Tamina Elenil looked at me with her smuggest know-it-all-expression. Then she said: "He's doing antics like a youngster mer in his 100s," and gave me a wink.

There it was again: the confusion, mild shock or utter horror concerning mer and their loooong life-spans. "Younger than the mountains, older than the trees," seems to apply for nearly all elves of Nirn. But I digress…

"Ahem master… Can I help somehow?" I asked.

"Yes Agrippina, you can help by not spreading any humiliating tales. That goes as well for sera Elenil," master Yen-Ilu added as an afterthought. "But climbing this fungus shoot in a dress will be a fool's errand. So I'll try to manage on my own."

I really couldn't see any fault in that so I just stood there as a spectator. Master Yen-Ilu pushed his thighs together. Then he strapped the aetherium generator to the shoot. But this emperor parasol sprout was a bit bigger than the other ones. So the shaking was more forceful and the Telvanni scholar was bucked off. He landed in the shallow pond with a *splash* and a loud "OUCH!"

I winced and unstrapped my backpack. Hopefully I still had some healing potions. But sera Elenil reacted as well. She rose from her gardening with a shout of "Oh dear!" Then she asked tartly: "Well am I allowed to do something now?"

Master Yen-Ilu spat an impressive string of Dunmeri curses that caused the alchemist to wag her pointy ears and blush dark grey. "Language, master Yen-Ilu!" she squeaked after he was done.

Well I could surely be more of a help. I found a potion of critical healing and offered it to the magister. He had already sat up under much grunting and moaning. Then he all but grabbed the potion from my hand and emptied the bottle in one go. After a tremendous *BURP* he seemed to feel better. He could rise on his feet, albeit gingerly.

Then he wrung his clothes out and said: "Well, that was that. Now let's see if these emperor parasol roots can be fooled by the smaller aetherium generators. It might take a while. So we can say goodbye to the people of Sadrith Kegran. I will go and see Shannath first. I think you have your own special friends here."

I sighed and said: "Yeah, let's make the tour of town. Evo Mils will be overjoyed that I am finally out of his hair. But concerning Shannath; do you think he could accompany us? What I gathered from your weird love-hate-relationship is that it would mean the world to him."

Master Yen-Ilu grimaced and asked: "Agrippina, do you really think that's wise? We'd be responsible for all the antics he might come up with in his confused state."

Well the scholar of Dwemer culture did have a point there. I imagined the mischief that Shannath Selthrie could do in the wilderness or the havoc he could wreak in cities. Oh dear, oh dear! I squashed all further urges to fulfil my former owner's heart desire. So I said to master Yen-Ilu: "You have a point here. Shannath Selthrie trying to tickle a dragon or the very same bastard kidnapping people in Rifton to experiment on them? Not good! O. k. He stays at home."

Now that this was decided we split up to say our farewells. Ra'zhirra the rumor-monger wished me "warm sands" on my further travels – a typical Khajiti greeting. Yes I would miss the nosy tomcat that came and went like a jack-in-the-box.

I said goodbye to Varen Rendo next. But the village blacksmith only grunted. Again, he was too busy to make it more formal.

Then I went across the square to Shaglak's general store. This farewell was a bit problematic as the orc had gotten me in this mess of abduction and slavery in the first place. But our booze night at Chitin & Flin seemed to have mended the bridge. Shaglak – more formally known as Yarog gro-Shak – gave me an orcish bear hug. I definitely heard my bones crunch here and said a strangled: "Could you release me please?" The orc flushed brown in the face, grumbled "Sorry!" and let me go.

Then I walked the few paces to Bralys Sendu's shop for meat, furs and hunting gear. I could smell the sujama as soon as I stepped through the door. Oh boy! The shop was empty, safe for a very drunk Bralys Sendu. "Who's there?" he slurred, tried to rise from his chair but thought better of it. He'd probably have fallen flat on his face in his state.

"It's sera Tullius. I wanted to say goodbye to the locals of Sadrith Kegran but this isn't the best moment probably… Anyhow where are serjo Dwyn and Aryni?"

I was met by the unfocused stare of the hunter. Then, the elder Sendu grumbled: "Gone on a honeymoon, they did. *hiccup* Probably spla-ashin' in the hot springsh." Then his eyes rolled up in his head and said head hit the tabletop with a *thunk*. I winced and went searching for a cushion in the backroom. I couldn't haul the beefy Dunmer to his bed. So I took the pillow from his bed, hoisted his head up by the dreadlocks, pushed the pillow in the appropriate spot and gently lowered his head again. I also placed a bucket right next to the table in case that serjo Sendo had to puke when he regained his senses. Then I quickly left the house.

My next stop would be the Council Hall. On my way there I said some short parting words to some of the Morag Tong guards. Most of them weren't very chatty, a few were downright jerks. Of course they lacked people skills; they were killers-for-hire after all! The consuls, Ever Milo and Marisa Verendas, said how sorry they were to see me go, blah, blah, blah. They renewed their offer to make me a member of Great House Telvanni, provided I had the guts and ambition for it. Consul Milo even gave me another one of his "surprise scrolls" as parting gift. Wow Stendarr; thank you old chum! I'll appreciate your "best wishes" when reading this spell will do Divines-know-what to me. But once again: some things are better left unsaid. I briefly pondered whether to say goodbye to the leader of the local Morag Tong chapter but wisely dismissed the fancy. Evo Mils and impish little I had enough of a history as it was.

The next Dunmer I said farewell to was Midnabi the artist. She forced the picture of the young lady levitating among the emperor parasols on me. Well it was a happy, lively topic. (She could also have gifted me with her sketch of the Devil-under-the-mountain! The horror!) The only problem was: how the heck was I going to squeeze this into my backpack? Still I thanked Midnabi and left her workshop.

Then I pointedly walked past master Selthrie's door. I would make that goodbye to be the very last on my list. I entered the tunnel near the inn and walked past all these glowing fungi, blossoms, vibrant ferns and other alien plant-life. I would miss it in the rather drab surface world. I took the Dwemer doors to the farm. There I was waving goodbye at all the birds, bees, butterflies, netches and guars. Tadys Andavel stood in the shade of a big spruce tree and drank what looked like carrot juice. He looked up as he heard the grass rustling and started to squint. He'd once told me that "his eyesight wasn't what it used to be any longer".

So I called out to him: "Hey serjo Andavel! It's me, Agrippina. I recovered the ring for your wife. Do you remember?"

His face lit up a tiny bit. I had once read that Dunmer mostly kept their expressions stoic because they "didn't like to twist their faces like monkeys". Anyhow the farmer said with his gravelly voice: "Yes I remember. You boldly worked your way through heaps of manure to recover that ring. And it was worth every trouble. My wife was struck speechless for once when she opened her birthday present."

I beamed at serjo Andavel and said: "Thank you! I'm glad your wife liked it. I dropped by to say farewell to you, serjo Andavel. I'll leave Sadrith Kegran for a while and I don't know if or when I'll be back. I'll also say goodbye to your wife but not to sera Rendo. She's probably still a bitch concerning her precious carrots."

The last time I had been to the farm I'd had an ugly spat with Galsa Rendo. Among other mean things she had screeched: "Don't you dare trample over my carrots! *Psshh* N'wah these days!" Yup, charming woman… I'd simply do my best to avoid her.

Tadys Andavel blushed to a nice shade of dark grey and he said: "Yes Galsa has a somewhat loose tongue. But she's a decent fieldworker. That's why I tolerate her bitching."

I just shrugged and said: "Okay I know the way around here. Oh am I allowed to cuddle some of the guars?"

Tadys Andavel chuckled then he coughed. At last he said: "Yes you can cuddle them. But mind those claws of the adult animals!" Well that was a sensible warning. While domesticated guars were bred as beasts-of-burden (and sometimes for their meat and hides) they still could sport fearsome claws! I snuck through the foliage until I came to a small clearing with an equally small flock of guars.

Then I stooped forward a bit, lightly slapped my thighs and cooed: "Cooome here sweet critter-critters. Auntie Agrippina wants to pet you one last time."

All their lumpy heads snapped up. While some of the guars looked at me warily, others gave me a totally unwarranted death glare. Huh what have I ever done to them? I never yelled abuse at them, never hit them with a stick, never shot them with a sling shot… Oh right; I was trampling their lunch.

"Sorry," I said. "I'll be gone before long. I just wanted to say goodbye to you and maybe cuddle one of your lot." One of the flock made that trumpet-like bawl and walked towards me. It was a stately female with broad stripes on its back. It held still as I stroked and patted its muscular body. Tough reptilian skin spread under my fingers and the guar nudged me gently. "Yes, you're such a strong, pretty mare. Or cow? Huh whatever! Now I'll give you a warning beforehand. Tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow there might be a bit of shaking and shivering under this beautiful dome. Please don't panic and stampede. It's just the AHO getting launched for the first time in ages."

The guar just looked at me dumbly. Oh right: cattle often weren't very bright. So I just sighed and walked on to the bridge gapping the stream. As always, fishing rods were stuck in the rings of the Dwemer stones so that the salmon might catch themselves on the hooks.

Selveni Andavel was at one of the fields harvesting wheat with the scythe. I called a greeting to her and she looked up and shouldered her scythe for a while.

"Ah, sera Tullius", she called. "We haven't met in quite some time. The harvest is always…taxing. So I could use a break. To what do I owe you the pleasure?"

"Umm…", I started unsurely. "I wish I could say that I stopped by just to cuddle the guars. But this is a kind of courtesy call or farewell even. Master Yen-Ilu wants to launch the AHO and I'd like to accompany him on this first flight. The AHO is still located on the floor below the farmstead. But that will change in the next days. We've already taken precautions to untangle the roots of Tel And from this unique Dwemer vessel. So Sadrith Kegran should stay relatively unscathed." Oh those "would's" and "should's"! Not very reassuring but at some point in practical research you just had to try your luck.

And indeed, sera Andavel looked a bit plopped down on a hay-bale and shook her adorned head. Why she'd choose to wear a circlet even at the farm is anyone's guess; but she wore one – albeit of minor quality (probably copper). But that was just a very idle observation of mine. Well sera Andavel waited a few moments then she asked: "So master Yen-Ilu wants to do this, too? And here I thought, it was master Selthrie's folly. Well, let's hope that your precautions work. A lot depends on it."

I nodded in understanding and said: "Yes, I know. I came here by force and only half a year ago. But I've seen what you accomplished over the past centuries: the emperor parasol village, other alien, vibrantly coloured plant life and your very livelihood. I know from tales and a bit of snooping that children were conceived and raised in this very cave. It would be an awful shame, if some accident happened. On the other hand this whole community would have to be relocated to erase all risks. Well that's not really an alternative for you, is it?"

Sera Andavel's spooked expression was enough of an answer. Oops, maybe some soothing was in order? Yup, definitely. So I put a bright smile on my face and said: "Master Yen-Ilu knows what he's doing. He put a lot of consideration in these safety measures with the portable aetherium generators and a lot of work, too. This township will see another era. There might only be some minor shaking and quaking but well…" I finished lamely and shrugged. Then I said goodbye and left the farmstead.

I walked back to the main cave and through the whole settlement to reach the mushroom house of my former owner. This last farewell was going to be…messy one way or another. I just didn't know if former master Selthrie was delusional or ill-tempered right now. I blew out a breath and pulled at the knocker to open the door. (author's notes in between: Telvanni doors DO have some strange mechanics…) I walked into the kitchen-alchemy-enchanting room and overheard the last lines of a conversation. It sounded as if master Yen-Ilu was pleading with the reason (or lack thereof) of his former colleague.

"Shannath, for Sotha Sil's sake! The spirit of your late son is relatively happy and content beyond the waking door. It's not as if he were going anywhere soon, apart from some haunting. So there's no need to hasten your own demise," Yen-Ilu was saying right now.

My appearance cut short an answer that would have been hot-headed at least. Uh-oh! I thought with a shudder. Dunmer and their last rites and relations with their "blessed ancestors": that's one creepy topic. But I kept this opinion to myself. I turned to master Yen-Ilu and said (as brightly as I could): "Hi master Yen-Ilu! I said goodbye to just about anyone that mattered to me in Sadrith Kegran. Let's see… Consuls Verendas and Milo are still offering me a chance to join Great House Telvanni. Shaglak almost crushed me in a bear hug. Maren and Aryni Dwyn are on their honeymoon. Bralys Sendu is a drunken mess again. The Andavels are still very uneasy about the upcoming launch. But I hope I managed to soothe them. Midnabi gave me one of her pictures as a parting gift. Now I'm almost ready to pack my things."

Then Shannath Selthrie turned on me and screeched: "Oh no you won't! There are still so many chores to do in my house. First…"

"Oh stop it, serjo Selthrie," I sighed in a long-suffering voice. "Just stop it. In case you've forgotten: I'm my own person again. You've got no right to order me around anymore. Now where on Nirn is Snippy? Snippy? Where are you, little Dwemer ball? I know I left him at this place."

My calling attracted the cute little Dwemer animunculus but he didn't look so well. It looked as if a certain crazy Telvanni scientist had taken the poor thing apart and reassembled it in the wrong order. And indeed, when Snippy rolled past master Selthrie he poked the old Dunmer with his shock-rod. Master Selthrie jumped in the air, yelped and shook his fist at the Dwemer creation.

I scowled at the ginger-haired Dunmer, crossed my arms in front of my chest and chided: "That's the first and last time I allowed you to borrow Snippy! What have you done to the poor machine? On second thought: I really don't want to know." Then I pulled the controller from my pocket and pressed the recall button. Immediately, Snippy disappeared in a green mist and was transported back to the AHO – out of the reach of one very disturbed Telvanni magister.

Then I turned to master Yen-Ilu and said: "I will put on my adventure gear and then I'll collect some septims and my other stuff so we can finally hike to Avanchinzel. But take all the time you need with your former colleague."

Then I left master Selthrie's mushroom house while he still called some crass language after me. Really why had I even bothered to stop by? Probably just because I wanted to check on Snippy. I walked back to Chitin & Flin, changed into my light chitin armour, belted my ancient Dwemer sword and fastened an elven bow and a quiver of arrows on my back. Just for show; I wasn't such a good markswoman. Being thus equipped, I went down to the counter and bought a small stock of food and drinks that I stored in my backpack. Then I said goodbye to Dalos Verendas and walked outdoors again. I went to the netch pasture and dug the chest with my spare money out again. Oh yes, it was a pretty sum! I filled a lot of coins in my purse and tried to stuff the purse under my chest-piece. No, too little space. I would be rubbed raw in no time at all. So I tied the purse to my belt. Then I went searching for Slyboots.

A vampirized burned spriggan shouldn't be too hard to find. And Indeed I found her roasting a mudcrab. Well hopefully it wasn't my favourite trader! I said to Slyboots: "Hello spooky girl! Here I am again. The great adventure is about to begin. Will you accompany me and master Yen-Ilu to Avanchinzel once again?"

Slyboots uttered a happy screech and jumped giddily up and down. Then she bent down and scribbled in the dust. "Yes, I'd love to go. I think this village is growing weary of me. Everywhere I go I get strange looks… Not nice! Thanks to Shannath Selthrie I can't help the way I look."

I sighed and said: "Yes this lunatic has a lot to answer for. But not now; now we meet Yen-Ilu and then off we go! You can hunt and eat in the wilderness." So we went back to Shannath Selthrie's mushroom house and found master Yen-Ilu on the threshold where he pinched the bridge of his nose. Apparently his discussion with his one-time superior had gotten him nowhere. I told him that I had gathered all the necessary things for a hike. Master Yen-Ilu told me to wait by the main gate of Sadrith Kegran. Meanwhile he would change into his Telvanni hybrid armour and pack his things, too. I walked one last time along the wooden walkways and waited by the gate. Some minutes later, master Yen-Ilu came donned in his adventure gear and carried an enchanted, dragon-shaped staff. Slyboots had eaten enough grilled mudcrabs to last her through the day. So we walked up the short tunnel and pushed the bronze doors open.

The sulphur stench of the Eastmarch caldera met our noses. Yuck! I'll probably never get used to this smell. So we carefully walked through the turquoise "water" and went up the ravine where the giant still stood watch over his dead mammoth. But there were no predators or ill-tempered trolls within our safety distance. So I had time to play the "pilgrim's game". I started to chant:

"A hat, a staff an ancient man

'Thank you very much!', master Yen-Ilu chimed in.

"Forwards, backwards, sidestep,

march!"

It's so much fun during a long hike. I did the according movements and chanted over and over again:

"A hat, a staff an ancient man.

Forwards, backwards, sidestep, march!"

Until master Yen-Ilu spoiled the fun and said that we'd never arrive at Avanchinzel if I kept up this "pace". Meh! But of course he was right. On this trip we kept to the cobbled road to Rifton. It was pretty steep in some parts and we both huffed and had to stop a few times to catch our breath. That one time near North Wall Peak we had to duck behind a roadside wall because a dragon was swooping overhead in big circles. Oh where's a Dragonborn when you need one? But the huge flying lizard was content with roaring to the skies and soon it disappeared behind the mountain.

So we stood up again, straightened our clothes and Slyboots dusted her bark off. Soon we came to Shor's Stone and no they still had no inn. We had to carry on to Rifton. We gave Fort Greenwall a wide berth. There were still bandits holed up in the old Imperial fortress and we didn't want to be thrown in their dungeon or worse. Finally the outer watch towers of Rifton came in sight. We entered the city without being bothered by any greedy guard. I had heard rumours that Rifton was the most run-down and corrupt city in Skyrim and even the Camonna Tong seemed to have a foothold there. Sometimes listening to marketplace gossip can lead to some thrilling revelations. Like the question, how many men (bachelors and husbands alike!) the insatiable Healga was "courting" this month… Or the profitable skooma trafficking at the Rifton harbour warehouse. But Ajiameh the Dragonborn had put an end to this seedy operation.

When I had listened to enough wild tales I booked two rooms at Barb & Bee for me and master Yen-Ilu. Slyboots still wasn't allowed to enter the city which was actually a shame. She could have helped Keerava in her kitchen as some people like their sweets and desserts first drenched in booze and then burnt crispy. But the guards were steadfast - in this matter at last: no Slyboots in our town! I and master Yen-Ilu ate the soup of the day and then we went to bed. It was already evening after all and dusk was fast approaching.

The next day we woke up to the chirp of a nightingale which was a welcome change to the usual ear-shattering *cock-adoodle-doo*. (author's notes in between: The crowing of a cock CAN grate on one's nerves, yes surely and indeed! And when several cocks are around it only gets worse. I work next to the local pet zoo so I know what I'm talking about. I'm not allowed to go on a killing spree. All I can do is fantasize about cock-in-wine… And don't get me started on the sheep and their god-damn bleating!) I stretched and yawned then I did my cat-wash over the bucket. Alas there was no screen! Well it seemed that the good people of Rifton weren't prude at all. Better deal with it in dignity, Agrippina! Luckily master Yen-Ilu was still asleep and I hoped that he had switched his eye implant to "stand-by-mode". Provided there was such a thing as stand-by-mode in ancient Dwemer technology… Then I put on my padded underwear that went with the traditional Dunmeri chitin armour, grabbed my purse and went down into the guestroom.

On the last steps of the stair I was already met with roaring laughter. There was a giddy crowd gathered around a corner table. I couldn't see a thing so I climbed on an empty table (much to the chagrin of Talen-Jei and Keerava) and was rewarded with a ridiculous spectacle. The pair at the corner table consisted of none other than Maven Black-Briar and her spoilt son Hemming. Somehow Hemming had his neck stuck in a wooden plate and his mother was tugging and tearing at the offensive tableware to make it come off. But she didn't have any success as of yet. I just gawked bemusedly and asked myself: How the fuck does SUCH an accident happen?! But again: sometimes it's better not to ask questions. That goes twice for the Black-Briar family.

So I hopped down from the tabletop and ordered a breakfast consisting of a cream bun and a cup of milk. Yum! After some minutes master Yen-Ilu came down the stairs and scanned the room with his Dwemer implant. After having spied me he went to the counter and ordered his breakfast. We said good-morning to each other. Then I chuckled and told him: "Master Yen-Ilu, you just missed a sight for gods and men! Hemming Black-Briar got his neck stuck in a wooden plate. I don't know how he managed that but there he was. His mother wanted to free him with much tugging and tearing and the other patrons had a good laugh. But both Black-Briars have already departed."

Master Yen-Ilu grinned and wagged his head from side to side. Then he said over munches of an apple pie: "I would have paid a fortune to see it! Serves that arrogant brat right…" The Black-Briars weren't very popular in Rifton, especially their matriarch Maven, a ruthless, shrewd businesswoman who would stop at absolutely nothing. Officially she was a staunch supporter of the Empire in Skyrim. But she also shook hands with the Thieves' Guild and Dark Brotherhood alike.

After breakfast we paid the tab and I put on the rest of my chitin armour. We left Rifton through the southern gate near Mistveil Keep. The cobbled road turned west and snaked along the banks of Lake Honrich. We passed Snowshoe Farm, Goldengleam Manor on its island and the orcish village of Largashbur. The Orsimer tribes in Skyrim lived a very sheltered life and had a hard time with trusting strangers. I've heard enough tales of adventurers who had been chased away at sword-point. It was a beautiful trip only marred by some frostbite spiders and a patrol of very snooty, rude Thalmor, a wizard and two grunts. They started to pick on master Yen-Ilu with imperious questions as to the "where from" and our destination. Master Yen-Ilu told them with icy courtesy that we were going to cook eggs in one of the great steam engines of Avanchinzel.

The Thalmor felt mocked of course and with shouts of "Insolence!" and "Heathens!" they wanted to teach us manners. Hah, good chance… A screeching, flame-throwing Slyboots sent the grunts packing soon enough and as for the wizard… Master Yen-Ilu had grabbed him by the throat and recited the sermon of the seven graces. By the time the Telvanni was done, the Thalmor wizard had suffocated. *sigh* Aaah heavenly peace! Slyboots came back some minutes later and her face was contorted by a satisfied grin.

I snickered and said: "Well that went better than I thought luckily. Let's go on." Not far from our ugly spat we spotted a burning tree and the couple of Thalmor grunts were clinging to the very top branches and shouting some Aldmeri choice words. Poor sods! All they could do was trying to douse the flames with their piss.

Finally we left the main road on a dirt path to the left and stood before Avanchinzel. I led master Yen-Ilu and Slyboots up on the left walkway, then over some stairs to the strange balcony. Master Yen-Ilu rested his organic hand on my shoulder and turned me around: "Agrippina Valeria Tullius," he said. "I think it's time for a little speech. I think back on all the horror and pain that Shannath put you through. How the amulet of suppression was placed on you so that you should fulfil his every last whim. I also think back on all the dangerous errands that I sent you on. I think it's time for a reward. I will give you the AHO with all its wonderful machines, the distillery, the labs the storerooms. You will be mistress of your own flying home from now on."

I looked at master Yen-Ilu totally gobsmacked. Was the Telvanni egghead really serious about this? Not that I would complain but out of decency I still had to ask: "But master Yen-Ilu are you really sure about this? The AHO is one-of-a-kind!"

The Telvanni magister smiled at me and said: "Yes Agrippina; I'm quite sure that you deserve this honour. To be honest: guarding the vessel against Shannath has been a burden. The expedition came to Skyrim to study a lot of Dwemer ruins, not just Bkhalzarf, fascinating as it might be. So that's what I'll do from now on. I'll be on the road again, adventuring and dungeon-delving. Who knows? I might still discover some Dwemer secret more sensational than the AHO. Please go ahead. Put the cube in its socket. That's a thing I still want to witness."

So I pulled the programmed Dwemer cube from my backpack and put it between the clamps of the socket. The whole socket started to shake but that was nothing compared to the sky. Lightning started to strike the ground and a swirling dark purple vortex formed among the clouds. Then the AHO appeared with a thunderclap. It was fucking huge! Four mighty chains ending in hooks were shot up in the air. They caught unto the hull of the AHO and the vessel was "pulled to port" so to say. That took a while but finally the AHO lay before me in a cloud of steam. Oh gods this is awesome! I cheered in my head. A kingly gift indeed…

I turned back to master Yen-Ilu, made a kotau and said: "Thank you very much. This is a priceless gift. I will cherish it and maybe it will become an heirloom for my children and grandchildren. Provided I don't crash-land it first."

Master Yen-Ilu looked at me with all the severity of an angry hawk. Then he said: "You better don't crash-land the AHO! Well this is the moment. I'll be leaving for the Reach. Enjoy your first flight. One more thing: I also left my collection of cocktail recipes for you to use at your discretion. Please don't overdo it." Then he turned around and walked down the stairs.

Me? I grabbed the control cube and all but jumped through the hatch and on board. Slyboots followed more warily. I whooped and cheered and ran in circles on the upper deck. Snippy soon joined me and beeped like mad. He had been repaired by some unknown entity. Oh gods where shall I fly first? I asked myself. Maybe I should fly to Alftand-in-the-ice and swoop low over Solitude? And give my father a good scare? A devilish smirk spread on my face…

THE END (as of yet)

Author's notes the second: Well now the story is complete. (*whew* and wiping my brow) I hope you like it. As for the weird accident that happened to Hemming Black-Briar… That one episode is due to a video glitch of Skyrim. A lot of these actually happen often with very funny results. Well my player character entered the Bee & Barb one fine evening and after the loading screen, the tableware and cutlery of the inn was suddenly sent flying. And Hemming Black-Briar had his neck stuck in a wooden plate, like a collar. But he kept on eating as if nothing had happened. And yeah, most Thalmor suck. Maybe now I'll turn back to my unfinished project "The horror of Northwatch Keep".