Ch 25: Mistakes and Consequences

"You took the pills?!?" Wilson said for the eighth time, ever incredulous. It was as though he couldn't believe his best friend would pop a pain pill when he needed one.

"Yes! I took the pills! If I'd known you'd be so pissed off about some pain medication I'd have just chopped my fucking leg off!" House raged. "You're missing the bigger issue here. I fucked up with Cuddy."

"She'll forgive your asshood. What I don't know if she'll be able to take is your renewed dependence on opiates!"

"I don't have a renewed dependence on opiates!" House argued. "I took two pills to eliminate the pain in my leg."

"Where did you even get them? Con some poor intern into writing you a prescription?"

"Would you just shut the fuck up and help me find a way to get Cuddy back on my side? I backslid, yes, and possibly the only person who can help me at this point thinks I only want her for her body. I don't know if I'll recover this time, Wilson."

The oncologist fisted his hair and dropped his head heavily on the desk. "You sabotage yourself," he told House, his voice muffled by his face pressed into the hard wood. "You get something great and can't help but screw it up…I don't know if I can help you here."

"You were just saying that she'll forgive my asshood, though," House said, clearly wanting Wilson to wave his fairy godmother wand and poof his woman back into love with him.

"Yeah, but you're still going to have to work hard to get her back. What you said was awful."

"I realize that, Captain Obvious," House replied, rolling his eyes. His entire being exuded sarcasm.

"Well just go talk to her. Tell her you're sorry. Tell her you need her. Tell her you love her…you do love her, don't you?"

"Yes, idiot. I wouldn't be marrying her if I didn't love her."

"Well people in love don't generally tell their partners that they're only good for a quick roll in the hay," Wilson pointed out quite meanly. House considered punching him in the face, but decided that he was right and would be less willing to help with a broken nose or black eye. He settled for heaving a huge sigh.

"You really don't think I should give her time to cool down?"

"Well, maybe. But don't put this off too long or she'll just get even more infuriated."

House took Wilson's advice and waited until the end of the day to confront Cuddy and try to patch things up. She visibly tensed up when he entered her office. "What do you want?" she asked coldly.

"I want you back," he told her truthfully.

"What? Need somewhere to park your penis? That's all I'm good for, right?" She was looking down and, House guessed, trying to hide the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks.

"No. I love you. I said something stupid and untrue. It was just the first thing I could think of. I was just so pissed off," he told her.

"I need some time to think about things," she said after a moment, not meeting his eyes. "I'll call you when I'm ready." There was nothing he could do when she picked up her purse and walked out of the office, leaving him feeling the dizzying effects of the pills. He really wanted to pour a few more into his mouth and numb most of the pain, as well as all coherent thought, but knew that that was not a great idea. He had to be stronger than that if he wanted to get Cuddy back.

When House got home that night he let the frustration about the entire day out of his body by holing up in the bathtub with a bottle of bourbon and some sad music. He needed her, he realized, not for the first time. Greg House had been given a chance at love and would never have it again…he would do everything in his power to get her back. He spent the rest of the night drowning his pain and planning things to do for his woman to make her fall in love with him again.