EIGHT YEARS LATER
Elena's POV
I'm yawning tiredly as I pass the nurse next to me the chart I'm currently holding and she shakes her head at me, judging me for still being up. I've just finished my second shift and the coffee she hands me is the sixth one in the last twelve hours-I am dying for sleep, but I'm trying to hold on, because I refuse to go home , fall and wake up in my empty apartment-the pain was beyond excruciating and I didn't want to go through it yet again.
I stare down at my left hand and wince at the realization, that my wedding rings are long gone, hidden in a drawer next to my bed in my tiny new flat where I moved after Matt and I separated after three years of unsuccessful marriage.
Don't get me wrong-it was really good in the beginning. We've reconnected in my second year at Whitmore when he has won a football scholarship and began studying there. At first, I declined all his suggestions to go out, I was still hanging onto hope, that things between Stefan and I will work out and back then I actually saw him quite often, at least once in a month or two months, but things in his life were as usually messy and he moved away with Joseph for a while, after he got a job offer in some factory in Atlanta. It's not every day they hired an ex-prisoner, so he took Joseph and left, convincing me that I have to move on and forget him, think about my future and my career.
After he broke my heart, I spent the next six months crying myself to sleep. Matt never gave up on trying to get me out though, so one night I finally accepted. I can't say, that I really loved him like Stefan-I don't think I'll ever love anyone like him, but I cared deeply for Matt and I let this delusion go on for a long time.
A little before we graduated, he proposed to me and I said no.
He still didn't give up. And a year and a half later, after I've began my internship and was doing quite good, I finally accepted. We went through amazing things together, we traveled a lot for our honeymoon and he sometimes took me with him to the cities where he had games, but I was mostly burying myself into work and taking as many shifts as possible-I realize now, that back then I was still miserable, but I wasn't alone, or so I thought.
The more time passed, the more we drifted apart and the fact, that I didn't want any kids at the moment as I was eager to work more and become a great doctor while his career wasn't doing that good, was killing him, so I didn't really blame him when I found him rolling in the sheets with some fake ass cheerleader who has been traveling with his team all over the country. God knows when they first banged, I'm not sure I even wanna know, I guess this way I will feel even worse, because I might've not been surprised, but I still hurt like hell, I do now too, which is why I don't want to go home.
In many ways now I feel free and that makes me somehow lighter and even happier at times, especially when I take shifts in the Pediatric wing, but today I guess is just one of the bad days and my mood is all over the place. Dad keeps telling me I have to move back home to Mystic Falls, but I like my work here in Charleston and I don't want to get back, mostly because this town is full of memories, some of which is better remaining buried there.
I would lie if I say that I don't think of him. Stefan. I do that a lot.
Sometimes I even lay down in bed and try to imagine how his life looks now, if he's still living close to Damon, how much has Joseph grown up, has he found someone else or is he as lonely as I am.
I haven't heard from him in years, the last time I did, he has send me a postcard from Florida where he was obviously maybe on vacation-that was weird for me-Stefan and resting didn't really sound like him, he was always worrying about something, mainly Joseph, but I was glad if this was the case.
He has written that he misses me and Joe and him are sending their best from Florida. There was even some sweet drawing of what looked like a dog under Stefan's name, he has probably made his son leave something from him as well. It was sweet and I still have it pinned inside my locker here at work. Whenever I open it, it just puts a smile on my face even after the shittiest day. I am sad to think, that if I meet Joseph now, I won't recognize him. The last I saw of this kid was when he was a two year's old baby, who was desperately seeking his father's attention and driving him insane.
I started going through some of the fails of my current patients, that I would see later at visitation and was starting to get really sleepy when the main doors opened and we heard a child's voice yell.
I usually don't get scared or anything, because this happens all the time-people get in and out, paramedics drive casualties, some of them screaming their lungs out from pain, but when I turn around and see a boy about ten years old, with blond hair and sad green eyes, dressed in a nice blue plaid shirt, with blood on his hands, something makes my heart clench in pain and my breath gets stuck in my throat. It's late in the evening, there aren't as many people right now and he looks like he's lost in the middle of nowhere.
"Help!" he cries out and I see the nurse next to me run by his side, I follow her without thinking twice, there's something in his expression that seems so strangely familiar, but I try to push this at the back of my mind and get my priorities straight-the kid needed us "Help me, my dad.." he stutters and I kneel down before him "My dad-my-my-" he cries out and point at the doors
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay calm down!" I try to reassure him everything's fine and stare down at the blood on his hands, sighing relieved as I realize that it's not his "I'm Elena" I explain
"And I'm going to help you, now tell me what's wrong." I get my hands in his and rub them gently with my thumbs, trying to calm him down, as I realize that he's so frightened he might get a panic attack
"Take a deep breathe, okay?" I say and start breathing with him, showing him how to do it "Like this" I explain with a smile and he follows my lead, inhaling and exhaling when I do
"My father" he says again, this time without stuttering. He pulls his hand away from mine and tries to wipe away his tears, but instead he gets blood under his eye and the sight makes me shiver
"My father is hurt "he explains "They drove us here and dropped him on the pavement, you have to help him!" he begs me and I nod, squeezing his other hand, which is still in mine gently
"Okay, take me to him" I say and he nods as I stand up and he starts pulling me to the entrance. I turn around and nod to the nurse, telling her to go get a stretcher and come help me. I watch her rush to one of the rooms while I'm following the boy.
Once we're out, I really see a figure lying on the ground a few feet away from the entrance. It appears to be a man, but his back is turned to me and I can't see his face-he's crumpled on the ground and seems to be shaking hard. The boy let's go of my hand and runs to him
"Dad!" he says as he puts his hand on his shoulder "Dad, it's okay, I found a doctor!" he explains, but the figure only grunts from the pain and I rush to their side as I realize that I've frozen for a moment.
"Come behind me, will you?" I ask the boy as I kneel down and gently roll the man to his back.
I freeze when I realize, that the eyes looking up at me are familiar. I swallow hard at the sight of his bruised face and take a minute to let it all sink in. I even turn to the boy and when I look at his face better, I realize that I know him-it was Joseph. And the man bleeding out in my feet was Stefan. He was dressed in boxing shorts and a dark red sweater which was soaking out the blood coming from his stomach.
"Stefan!'" I gasp surprised and he looks at me even more confused, I think it's really all a blur for him right now, but when I lean closer and he sees me better, he recognizes me and he smiles
"E-Elena?" he questions himself as if he's not sure that what he's seeing is true. He even tries to laugh a bit, but the pain messes up his plans, because he ends up coughing out some blood and I hear Joe whimper behind me sacredly. Stefan's eyes lift up and he stares at his son behind my back, swallowing hard.
"It's okay" I bring his attention back to me, he's not supposed to worry right now "You'll be alright" I promise him and he smiles again, shaking his head a bit as if he thinks I'm a total idiot for even saying this out loud.
I notice that his hands are still wrapped in some bandage, he has surely been fighting because there's blood on his knuckles. I lift up his sweater and take a look down at his wound-it's not that big or deep, but when I touch his stomach and he squirms in pain, I realize that he surely must have internal bleeding, which is why he's coughing all this blood out.
The nurse comes by my side with one of the interns, who's going to help me get him up on the stretcher, but first I try to determine how bad he is. I flash a light in his eyes and it doesn't take me long to realize that I'm not sure he actually sees good, because his right eye doesn't respond to it.
"Have you got any traumas recently?" I ask him
"What?" he asks confused, and at first I think it's because he's overwhelmed with the pain, but then I realize that he can't hear me
"I asked if you've been hurt lately?" I raise my voice and he nods slightly
"Six months ago" he mumbles barely audible "My head" he explains and his hand instinctively goes to his right side, but I push it back down, not wanting to hurt himself even more
"In a fight?" I ask, not at all surprised when he nods. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he's still fighting despite the fact that last time we talked, he has said he is bend on dropping it.
"Dad!" I hear Joe's voice behind me and I turn around, nodding to the nurse as the intern is helping me get Stefan on the stretcher and wheel him inside
"Take care of the boy" I instruct her "Don't dare move an inch away from him, do you understand?" she nods, promising me that she won't leave "Get in touch with his relatives." I order
"Damon" Stefan speaks up weakly and grabs my wrist which is resting on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding "Call my brother" he says and I nod. I see the nurse grab Joe's hand while we get Stefan inside and I hear him scream and try to get away from her, calling his father, begging him not to leave him alone. They follow us inside and I hear his little feet run to us, catching up just when Stefan coughs out more blood
"Daddy!" he yells out and reaches for his hand, so I have no choice but to make the intern stop wheeling for a moment "Dad, please don't go!" he begs and his voice makes me shiver. He looks so hopeless and definitely too worried for a ten year old. He reminds me of Stefan so much, not only on the outlook-there was always this sadness present in his eyes, the same as Joseph's now.
"It's going to be fine" Stefan says and gets into his parenting mode right away as he buries his hand in his son's hair for a moment and ruffles is lightly "Your uncle will come-be a good boy and listen to him."
"No!" Joe shakes his head "I don't want you to go, please! Don't leave me all alone."
"I'm not, I'll be back, I promise" Stefan says as he watches his son's tears roll down his pale cheeks
"You said this last time and you didn't wake up for a week!" the boy cries out again and I swallow hard, realizing how much this whole thing must be hurting him.
Stefan sighs tiredly as he tries to stay awake, but I can see he doesn't have any more strength, so I nod to the intern telling him to get him to the OR and turn to the nurse again, begging her to take Joe away, because I can't do anything in his presence.
I feel sick just staring down at him-he's a skinny sweet child, with beautiful green eyes and a nicely combed hair, dressed in good and clean clothes-ironed shirt and new blue jeans, his black trainers a little shabby, but as a whole Stefan, as usually, has taken great care of his kid-except that now he was heartbroken and watching us take his father away from him, doubting all our words and promises that we'll bring him back.
But I knew we would. I won't let this child lose his only parent.
About six hours later I walk into the waiting room as I remove my surgical cap and barely drag my feet down there. I stop for a moment to swipe away the sweat from my forehead and take a deep breath-I was exhausted. I've just spent six hours operating on the person I still love as much as I did eight years ago and I was only now letting that fact sink in. Until now, I was pushing all this at the back of my mind, trying to forget, that I was in an OR with Stefan, because I knew how much that would affect me and I needed to save his life.
"Elena" I hear another familiar voice and I open my eyes again only to find Damon sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting room with Joseph hugged and sleeping in his arms.
I head in his direction and try to give him a reassuring smile. They must've told him who's operating on his brother, because he didn't seem that surprised to see me.
He has aged-he seemed more mature and a little older, his expression very tired. He was dressed in some green overalls and a big black jacket which he has wrapped around Joseph's arms to keep him warm and safe. He looked more worried than Joe before I left him and he seemed very pale-I wonder how many times he had to go through this, how many times was Stefan close to death?
"How is he?" Damon asks lowering his voice so that he doesn't wake Joe as I settle down on the chair next to him
"He's fine, we managed to stabilize him, but he had multiple internal bleeding and it took me a while to manage to stop it. He lost a lot of blood."
"Will he be okay?" he can't wait for me to finish before he asks again
"Yes, he's still not completely in the clear, but we'll keep an eye on him and I think he'll manage to recover." Damon sighs relieved as he leans back on the chair and Joe shifts in his arms a little bit, but doesn't wake up
"But he needs to stop fighting, Damon" I warn him now and he abruptly turns his head to me "He has a really heavy head trauma and he's lost part of his hearing and his eyesight, if he continues, he won't survive the next time."
I feel him tense next to me and I can see how fast he gets angry.
"I don't even know why he was doing this!" he lets out annoyed and raises his voice a bit "He has promised me, that he'll stop fighting after last time."
"Dad got fired from the factory" we hear Joe's sleepy childish voice and I realize that he must've been awake all this time, but only now was he letting us know.
He turns his head to me and looks up at he touches his chest with his little palm and fists his shirt and Damon hurries to put his hand over his and squeeze it gently
"And we didn't have enough to eat." he explains. I look away uncomfortably and Damon closes his eyes for a minute, trying to get himself together "Well he didn't at least, he always cooked stuff for me" Joe explains "But he decided to go fight, because I needed new trainers for the game next week. I tore mine when I was running in the yard" he continues simply and I see the tears in his eyes again "I'm so sorry, uncle Damon, I didn't mean to."
"It's okay, buddy, it's not your fault" Damon rubs his back and leans down to give him a kiss on the forehead, trying to calm him down and I watch Joe grips his uncle's arms as if to find something to hold on to.
He rises up a bit and looks at me. I doubt he remembers me, he was a baby when I last saw him, but he was staring at me with a smile and for a moment I felt a bit uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or do until he spoke up again
"Are you the Elena, who is friends with my dad?" he asks curiously and furrows his little blond eyebrows a bit confused. Damon grants me a wide smile and I shift uncomfortably on the chair as I run my fingers through my messy hair
"Yeah…uh…I knew your father when I lived back in Mystic Falls." I explain and he smiles
"He talks about you sometimes in his sleep." Joe announces as if he's proud of the fact that he connected me to the girl his father mentions and I feel even worse right now "You're pretty." he announces and I can't help but chuckle at his statement.
I lean down to him and ruffle his hair playfully, which makes him smile as well, though that sadness and confusion is still present in his eyes and it makes me swallow hard.
"Can we see him?" Damon asks, bringing us all back to reality and I nod as I stand up, glad that he got me out of this uncomfortable situation
"For a few minutes, yeah" I say "But he has to rest" Damon nods and puts Joe down, fixing his shirt and wrapping him with his sweater to make sure he's warm enough-it was a pretty cold October evening. He takes Joe's hand in his and with a smile I lead them to Stefan's room. The nurse is just fixing his blood bag when we get there and I dismiss her.
Stefan opens his eyes as soon as he hears the door open and when Joe runs to his side he tries to smile
"Heyyy, buddy, get up here" he says and Damon helps Joseph sit on the bed. Stefan grabs his son's hand and rubs it gently with his thumb, avoiding his brother's judging look for as long as he can
"Dad, are you okay?" Joe asks "I was so scared! I thought I might not see you again."
"I'm sorry buddy. It's all good now" Stefan lets out with his hoarse voice "Come here, give your dad a kiss" Stefan asks and Joe leans down, letting his father place a gentle kiss on his forehead
"Now listen good" he says and Joe looks carefully at him "You're gonna stay at your uncle's" Joe opens his mouth to protest, but Stefan shakes his head sternly "There's no one else to take care of you" he explains and I sigh relieved as I hear his last words-that meant that he doesn't have a wife or anyone else he can count on.
I know it was wrong of me to think like this, but I couldn't help it-I was sad he was alone and with a child on his hands just like eight years ago, but I was also relieved he wasn't anyone's husband or boyfriend.
"You're staying with your uncle and you do as he says, do you understand?" he says and Joe nods his head sadly, listening to his father's orders "You have school tomorrow" he states
"Can I not-"
"You're going" Stefan interrupts him before Joe can even protest "I want you to do your homework, I'll make your uncle check on you and I'll find out if you haven't! No chocolate in the evening" he continues and I smile, Stefan was so sweet as a parent and Joe seemed like a great kid, not troublesome at all, he raised him good "You have practice on Thursday, your stuff are in the top drawer in my room, okay?"
"Okay" Joseph complies very sadly and Stefan pulls his chin up smiling at him "Now go wait outside while I talk to your uncle!" he asks of him, but Joe's tears are already rolling down his cheek again and they make my heart break.
The boy stretches his arms and throws himself in his father's embrace, shaking a little and refusing to let him go. Stefan grunts a little from the pain he feels, but somehow hides it from Joe and hugs him back
"Don't cry, buddy. I'll be back before you know it." Stefan promises him, even though he probably has no idea how serious his injuries are.
Damon and I watch as his son keeps crying in his embrace and finally after many persuasions from Stefan's side, Joe agrees to leave, giving his father a kiss on the cheek. He exits the room and the nurse outside takes his hand and leads him down the hallway to the cafeteria, leaving us alone.
"What the hell happened to I promise I'm not going to fight anymore, huh, brother?" Damon asks once we're alone and settles down on the chair next to Stefan's bed, crossing his arms over his chest angrily
"You don't understand, they fired me" Stefan tries to explain tiredly and throws me a pleading look, asking me to get him out of this situation. I admit I feel bad for him, but I don't mind Damon scolding him a bit, he needed to understand he can't keep doing this anymore "I had no other choice."
"You could've told me, Stefan" Damon raises his voice "Not go on a suicide mission again and get yourself in this condition!"
"Okay, let's all calm down" I intervene as I approach the bed "He just got out of surgery, Damon, he needs to rest, not to be yelled at." I scold Damon and he grunts annoyed, but also a little bit ashamed that he was hurting his brother when he was already in hell
"And you're done fighting unless you want to lose your hearing and not be able to hear your son when he tells you how much he loves you, or die on some boxing ring without anyone knowing." I turn to him as I lean on the little table next to his bed and look at him seriously
"I'm not going to lose anything!" he opposes stubbornly and I can't believe that he's actually arguing right now "I'm fine."
"Stefan!" Damon raises his voice and even I tense as I see the expression on his face "Cut the crap! You're done with this shit! This isn't something you can just neglect- it's your life and unless you want your child to lose their only living parent you're going to sit down on your ass and take care of yourself, because he needs you and I'm sure as hell not losing my brother!"
"I can't pay for shit, Damon!" Stefan raises his voice again "I can't even afford this surgery I went through! I can't support my child!"
"We will find a way! I'll get you another job" Damon promises and tries to calm him down while I watch them intensely, there was so much pain in Stefan's voice, it made my heart clench
"We will fix this, I just want you to stop killing yourself, okay?" he asks and Stefan grunts annoyed and looks away for a moment, biting his lips. He obviously disagrees with his brother, but he doesn't want to make a scene now. I notice how tired he already is so I decide it's time to end this
"Damon" I say gently and he turns to me "We have to leave him" I say and he nods
"Take care of Joe, okay?" Stefan begs one last time and Damon squeezes his hand and ruffles his hair as if he's the child-I guess to him, he'll always be his little brother for whom he cares so much
"Don't worry, you know how much Bonnie loves to spoil him. He's in good hands" Damon promises and soon he leaves us alone.
After he closes the door I get by Stefan's side and check the blood bag and the IV, pulling out another syringe with some painkiller to help him get rid of the pain. He closes his eyes and sighs tiredly as he watches me do my job and at some point he even smiles
"You look beautiful as always, Elena" I freeze at his words and then turn to him shaking my head
"You're not going to melt my heart with compliments and make me tell your brother you can fight again, Stefan" I chuckle as I shake my head and he looks at me offended
"I wasn't" he says seriously "I really meant it, but it's okay if you don't want to accept it."
"Accept what" I ask confused, for a moment completely lost in my thoughts
"That you're beautiful." he chuckles and I push the needle in his arm, wiping the smirk off his face, his breath gets stuck in his throat and I smile victoriously at him "You just love beating yourself up, Gilbert, you always have."
"Says the guy who disagrees with his brother and is trying so damn hard to kill himself."
"I'm not going to die if I fight" he says with certainty and I sit on the bed next to him, staring at him intensely
"Yes, you will" he swallows hard "Unlike you, I have a medical degree and I know, that with the injuries you have now, you won't survive long even if you fight again. Yes, sure, you might get away with it a few times, but one night someone's going to hit you too hard, crush your bones and get you unconscious on the ring in matter of minutes and before anyone has even attempted to call an ambulance, you'll be dead. So" there's fear in his eyes now, he's not I'm not joking around "You're right, I can't stop you from doing this, nobody can, but think about that boy who was crying his eyes out in the hallway while you were in surgery."
"I am, that's why I'm doing this in the first place." he disagrees with me and I shake my head
"You have to find another way, because I refuse to accept you want your son ending up alone in this world. As far as I remember, you always put him first and I don't think that has changed." I comment and he nods, agreeing with me. I fix his blanket and check his vitals one last time before I leave-I am dying for some sleep, so I was going to find some empty room and get rest-there was no way I was going home with Stefan being in the hospital now.
As I'm about to go, he grabs my wrist gently and pulls me back
"Thank you" he says and I stare into his tired green eyes "Thank you for saving my life."
"You're welcome" I smile at him, though his touch is burning up a hole inside me "Now don't waste it."
He smiles and I wait until he's dozed off, just to make sure he's fine and resting. When I slowly close the door and head to the lockers in order to change my scrubs and put on some clean clothes before getting my sleep, I feel my heart sink a little with every step.
I can't believe, that I saw him again today and in such circumstances. I always knew that fighting will bring him troubles and I've wondered what will happen if one day, just like all those years ago, we get called out to some accident and I find him half-alive there. I just never thought it was really possible, because he wasn't living here anymore. Obviously, he has come back, when and how, nobody knows and I honestly don't care. All that matter was that I saw him and my heart skipped a beat, not because he was hurt, but because I realized how much I still love him.
I open my locker and stare at the postcard from Florida. With a smile on my face, for the first time in years, I take it down and turn it around to read his words. I don't even realize when a tear escapes my eye as I go through it.
Dear Elena,
Congratulations on your graduation and good luck with your internship! I'm in Florida right now with the little fella-his current obsession is drawing on all the wrong places (the walls and my face included) and he surely misses you, just like I do!
I wish you were with us right now! I think about you every day. I hope I see you soon.
With love
Stefan and Joseph