Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing show belongs to the amazing Frank Darabont.

AHH! I'm back! Author's Note at the bottom!

PRETTY PLEASE REVIEW!

Chapter Twenty Five: Still Us

The house they set us up in was huge, bigger than mine and Rick's had been before. The running water and lights felt like strange, new inventions instead of things what were once common place. I stayed close to Daryl the whole time so far, but I felt he wouldn't let me wonder too far from him even if I wanted too. His whole body was tense and ridged. I had refused to go to Deanna's office for the video interview as Rick had called it, and while Daryl was doing his it was the only time I was away from him. But his chat was not as long as Rick's had been. Soon he and I were standing in one of the three bathrooms that were in this house that we had been given. I sat on the toilet seat as just tried to relax as steam filled the small space as Daryl showered.

I didn't know how to feel about this place, I felt uneasy, but it could just be because we hadn't looked around, gotten to really know these people. In my mind all I can remember is Terminus and the blind faith we had in them that got us in a huge mess and almost got us all killed. What if this was Terminus with a thicker coat of paint? But what if this place was the real deal? I just didn't know what to think, and a part of me simply didn't want to think. I stand from the toilet and pull off the clothes one by one, cringing at the aches that shot across my skin and cringing at the stretch marks and pudge that were leftovers from my pregnancy. I slowly gripped the white shower curtain and pulled it back just enough for me to step up beside Daryl in the shower.

He turns quickly, a little surprised at my action, but he opens his arms and wraps me up and holds me under the hot spray. It had been so long since I had showered in hot water, honest to goodness hot water. The steam was thick and hung in the air, the shampoo that had been left in the shelf smelled of lavender and it clung to Daryl's hair and skin. He felt hot and firm. He pulls back and turns me so my back is to him. I close my eyes as I hear the lid to the shampoo pop open and soon his hands are rubbing against my scalp. I suck in a breath as he works at my hair, rubbing the roots and running his hands all the way down to all my split ends. I tilt my head forward as his hands move past my shoulders as his fingers coat the strands. Then one hand disappears and the shower spray shifts until the water falls hot over my head, washing away the suds, but his hands keep rubbing, pushing the soap from my hair with the water. Then he washes my back, shoulders, neck, all in the same way, slow and careful. Like we were testing the waters again, but we both knew nothing more would happen. I knew it when I turned to wash him and I looked into his eyes.

We were not ready for that yet, we still had so much to work through, so much to figure out. We had turned yet another page in our whirlwind relationship and neither of us knew what to do now. So we did what we always did when things got tough. We closed our mouths and just held to each other.

As the water cooled and the steam disappeared we finally got out of the shower. I had dug out our cleanest clothes to put on. His least ripped jeans, least stained shirt, cleanest boxers and socks. His hair was dripping and I took the towel and rubbed at his head like I had my dog after his bath. It went from greasy to feathery, soft and uneven. His ends as split and damaged as mine. We were soon dressed and ready to pass the bathroom on to someone else. Before we left the bathroom Daryl bent down and kissed me. His lips always seemed chapped and cracked, his breath not the best either, but it still made me feel warm inside and I always returned his kisses. This place was new, he was familiar.

We joined most of our group in the living room area of the house, Rick had shaved his beard off and was looking more like my brother, while Maggie, Glen, Merle, and Sasha were in the bathrooms upstairs and Carl was bathing Judith in the kitchen sink, the rest of the group were sitting in various places, all looking out windows or going through shelves. The silence was thick, everyone was lost in their own thoughts. I take Daryl's hand and pull him out the door. There was a swing on the other house we had been offered. I just wanted to sit outside, relax in the cool air.

I curled up beside Daryl as his long legs rocked us back and forth. "What do you think of this place?" he asks, his voice always gruff sounding.

"Too early to tell I guess. We'll know soon enough."

"Deanna is giving out jobs."

"What?" I ask, looking out at the other houses, there was a couple sitting on a porch a few houses down.

"Yea, heard Glen say something about it as we left. You know she's gonna want to meet with you."

"I know. And I will, I just- I didn't want to right away. I can barely deal with my feelings when I'm not being interviewed by some crazy chick with a camcorder."

"She doesn't seem too bad."

"Not yet." I say, then I sigh. "I don't know Daryl, I don't know what's wrong with me, why I'm just sitting on pins and needles waiting for the bottom to fall out of this mess."

"We can't go on blind faith, so until we are proven wrong, there is nothing wrong with being weary."

We fall into silence and I close my eyes, my head resting on Daryl's shoulder. His rocking continues, back and forth, over and over again. He bounces his shoulder a little, keeping me from falling asleep. "Hey, let's go back before you fall asleep." I nod and swing my legs back to the floor and I take his hand as we walk back to the house we were all gathered in.

We set up our nest by the dining room window, I lay my head on Daryl's leg since he was sitting up looking outside. He felt tense, something about his words from before not matching up to his body language. I don't think he was as gung-ho about this place as Michonne or Maggie. He rubs his hand through my hair, relaxing me as he always did. I close my eyes and just relax.

Daryl's PoV

I could always tell when she fell asleep, her body always give a tiny jerk and she's out. Maybe she'd stay asleep tonight. The past several nights she had woken up several times throughout the night, jerking me from my slumber too. I was keeping my fingers crossed that her sleep troubles would stay to just jerking awake. I prayed the nightmares would stay away from her. But I had a feeling they wouldn't. We had just been on the run too much since Shayla for her mind to really catch up body. I wasn't looking forward to them again. Her cries and screams seemed to burn more and more.

I laid my head back against the cool glass and closed my eyes and wondered what would happen when my brain caught up with my body. Every time I had slowed down, even if it was just for a little while I felt something tight in my chest, when I heard Judith give little cries I always seemed to look towards Kelly instead of whoever had Judith, thinking I would see Shayla there, laying in Kelly's arms. But all I saw was Kelly, arms and eyes empty. She had laughed a few times, but nothing like before. I wondered if we would ever get to like we were before. I felt we were close upstairs in the shower, but she pulled away. And I let her. This was up to her, what happened between us. She would try to leave it in my hands, but I was going to leave it in hers.

Her head shifts on my lap and she rolls her body from her left to right side. Her hair tickling my arm and drawing my eyes to her face. Shifting was always a part of her nightmares, but I could just be worrying myself for no reason. I felt on the edge every night since, waiting for her to cry out. I think Rick was too, as his eyes were constantly looking over here at us. A knock on the door quickly draws him to his feet. His hand tense at his side, he very slowly opened the door. "Rick, I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling." Deanna says as walks in the house, she looks around the room, her face a little surprised. "Oh, my. Staying together. Smart."

"No one said we couldn't." Rick says back, and a part of me almost wants to see this woman try and tell Rick different.

"You said you're a family. That's what you said." She looks around at us all again, she smile as she sees Carl with Judith. "Absolutely amazing to me how people with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that. Don't you think?"

"Everybody said you gave them jobs." Rick says, ignoring her comment. If only she knew what it had taken for us to be like this. All we had been through. She wouldn't think it was that amazing.

"Yeah. Part of this place."

"Well, you didn't give me one."

"I have. I just haven't told you yet. Same with Michonne. I'm closing in on something for Sasha. Kelly will get one as soon as we meet, and I'm just trying to figure Mr. Dixon out." She looks over at us, I just ignore her and look out the window. Good luck. "But I will." She turns back to Rick, "You look good."

"If this is how you're saying it is then this is what we wanted. We're ready for this."

"All of you?"

"All of us."

I was up before most of our group. Kelly had stayed asleep the whole night and for that I was very grateful, maybe we could get through this without losing sleep. But I wasn't too hopeful. I pushed up from the floor, covering Kelly back up with the blanket and walk outside where Rick was walking around with Judith. "Morning." I say as I sit on the rail on the porch.

"Morning. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep. What's going on out here?"

"Not much, most people still sleeping. It's about half past six, not surprised. I probably would still be asleep if this one hadn't decided to mess herself." Rick says giving Judith a small bounce. I look at the baby and feel my chest tighten. Then it was followed by guilt. It wasn't ass-kickers fault, I couldn't ignore the kid because of losing Shayla. I stand up and try to let Rick know I wanted to hold her. "You sure?" he asks, looking at my hands and my face.

"Yeah." And soon my arms are filled with the tiny weight that is Judith, her chubby legs kick and her arms wiggle at the change of position, new arms holding her, arms that weren't her father's. "Hey ass-kicker, it's been a while." I mumble as I adjust her to where I can see her face. She has gotten more hair than I remember, a lot bigger.

"How are you doing Daryl? Really? Not what you tell my sister or show the group. Losing a child-I can only imagine-."

"I'm okay. It's Kelly that feels like the time bomb."

"In my old life I saw this, the mom gets all the attention, the focus. The dad slips through the cracks, downed in their own feelings they felt they couldn't express. We need you Daryl, especially now. So you have to deal with it. However you need to. Check out some guns and kill every walker you find if it will help. But don't bottle it up. Not now."

I look down at Judith as Rick's words fall on my ears. I didn't know how to tell him what was going on in my head, because I didn't know it myself. But somehow, standing here on the porch with one of the better men I had ever met in my life, holding a baby that was just as precious to me as my own daughter had been. Somehow I felt a little better than I had before. Life was still going to continue. There was still good here, within our group. I wasn't too sure about this place, wasn't sure if I wanted to be here or not, but I wanted to stay with this group, with this family. Because here was the only place I could heal.

Kelly's PoV

Rick wanted us to explore, but I went to Deanna's to get our meeting over with. Daryl walked me to the building and offered to stay with me, but I said I would be fine, I didn't know if I would, but I had to try. I was a grown up after all. And everybody else did it without help, I would be fine. He give my hand a squeeze and sits on the steps as I go inside. "Hello?"

"Kelly Grimes. It is good to finally meet you. I'm Deanna Monroe." She holds out her hand and I shake it, trying to show calmer than I felt. "I would like to ask you some questions, document this if you don't mind."

"I knew someone who felt all this needed to be documented."

"Sounds like a smart man."

"He worked with a monster who killed him so he would kill another person. His documentation didn't do much for him in the end." I say as I run my fingers across the mantel of her fireplace that was covered in pictures.

"One of the monsters your brother warned me about when I talked to him?"

"Probably. Met a lot of them out there, and not just the obvious ones."

"Why don't you sit down?" She says as she sits in a chair by a camera. I sit on the couch and cross my legs, my hands grouping for the necklace that no longer rested there, it had been lost somewhere along the way. "What did you do before this?"

"Teacher, 5th grade."

"How long have you been out there? Since the beginning as well?"

"Sorta, spent the first few weeks held up in a hospital, then a camp outside Atlanta, then it's a long trip of various stops and starts."

"Tell me about Daryl. From what I've gathered you are together, but not married?"

"We're not married, we didn't see much reason to be."

"Glen and Maggie said they got married while you were living in a prison. Were you and Daryl together then?"

"Why does this matter? I thought you wanted to talk about life out there?"

"I do, and Daryl is part of your life out there. I'm interested in how it was out there, but I'm also interested in how you all survived it. What happened that took you from a 5th grade teacher to the woman sitting in front of me now."

"You want to know what it took." I say, my annoyance snapping faster and sharper than I expected. "It took blood, it took death, it took having happiness and stability being ripped from you on the whim of mindless animals or ruthless dictators or cold liars. I've been shot, held hostage, trapped, lost, alone, hungry, scared, and any other thing you can possibly think of. And each time I think we've finally gotten a place that's safe, where I can finally stop and breathe, it's always taken, always. So if want to know what it takes then you're sick." I stood up and stormed out the door. I stomped down the hallway and out the door, I didn't even stop for Daryl, just walked past him.

He catches up with me, asking me what happened.

"Her stupid questions. God, why does it freaking matter? I'm the last one of use she's talked to so she already knows the story."

"Hey, slow down." He says as he grabs my arm. I rip it away.

"I don't want to slow down, I want to get out of the damn street." I continue my tromp towards what I thought were our houses, but I ended up down a completely different road. I stop a look around me, realizing I had no idea where I was. "Goddamit!" I yell as I toss my hands up.

"You lost?" a rough voice calls out, I turn and see a man sitting on a chair on a porch. He had dirty blonde hair and some facial scruff.

"Yea. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I say as I cross my arms, annoyed at myself for brushing Daryl off and leaving him behind. The man stands up from his chair and walks towards me, holding out his hand.

"I'm Pete, you may have seen my wife around. She cut Rick's hair."

"That was her? Well she did a good job, last time I cut it, it looked like I chased him around with a weed Wacker. Think she'd cut someone else's for me?"

"Sure she would. Was one of the many things she did before. I can either walk you there or tell you how to get there."

"Which ever one is easier. If I have good directions I can make it."

"I'll walk you, but I would like your name."

"I'm Kelly." I say as he walks back the way I came, I turn and follow."

"So what did you do before this?"

"I was a teacher."

"Is that what you're gonna do here?"

"I don't know."

"Didn't Deanna give you a job?" at his question I look down at me feet.

"No, I kinda lost my temper, stormed out before she could give me one. Besides, I don't want to teach again. Tried that at another place we lived. I just don't have the desire for that anymore."

"I was a surgeon, not my first choice. I went to Art School, that's where I met my wife. But babies came and bills had to be paid. And surgeon pays more than painter."

"I'm sorry. I never had to face that. I always wanted to be a teacher and I was single almost my whole life. Never really settled down until after the world ended."

"So not single now then?"

"No, the tall scruffy guy with long brown hair and a weird walk you've seen sitting on our porch?"

"Black leather vest?"

"That's him. Daryl. "

"How long?"

"I'm not sure, probably a few years by now. We've had three winters together so…there ya go."

"At least not everything is lost."

"You should take up painting again. Doesn't seem like there is constant need for a surgeon here, you could do it in your down time. Surly paint can be picked up on a run?"

"Maybe." He says as we walk up to the familiar house, Daryl was sitting on the front porch, he stands up at our approach. "Hi, just walking your lady home. She went down the wrong street." Pete holds out his hand. "I'm Pete Anderson."

"Daryl." He shakes Pete's hand and then we fall into silence.

"Okay," I say, breaking the tension. "Thanks for walking me home Pete. It was nice to meet you." I say shaking his hand again, then smiling at Daryl and going inside the house. Daryl quickly follow me inside.

"Who was that?" he asks as I get myself a drink of water, still not used to running, no-boil needed, tap water.

"Pete, weren't you listening? He's a surgeon."

"And you met him how?"

"Again I ask, weren't you listening. After I stormed away from you I got lost and he walked me back."

"And just why did you storm off?" he asks, his arms crossed as he leans against the door frame between the kitchen and living room. I sigh and set my glass down.

"I over reacted to one of Deanna's questions. I shouldn't have gone off on her like I did."

"What did she ask you?"

"How we all came to be so close, questions about us, stupid stuff."

"I see. Stupid stuff." He says as he pushes off the wall and goes and drops down on the couch.

"Really? You're gonna get pissy over a stupid choice of words?" I ask coming to stand behind the couch. "I wasn't saying we were stupid stuff, I was saying her questions-."

"Were about stupid stuff."

"Do not put words in my mouth Daryl. Don't you dare. That's not what I meant at all. All I meant was that it's not her business. And what does it matter anyway?"

"You're right. What does it matter?" He says as he stands up and looks at me. He's pissed and I can tell he's very close to walking away from me like he does when we fight. But the question is what were we even fighting about?"

"Will you please tell me what you're pissed about?"

"We don't know this place Kelly. And you just went storming off to god knows where without me and you don't expect me to be upset?"

"We're inside a fortress Daryl. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I told you a long time ago that you weren't going anywhere without me. And over the past few months you've been away from me more than I ever want." He walks around the couch and takes me hands. "Kelly, every time you storm away from me, I lose you, I can't go through that again. I can't risk anything happening to you again. The farm, the prison, Terminus, the hospital, we were separated and then they all ended with us on the road again. When this place goes down, you have to be by me."

"Daryl." I say as I wrap my arms around him, his words so sad and heartfelt that I have no idea how to even properly respond to them. So I just held him, wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. "I love you. And I'm sorry." I pull back a little and press my lips to his. It's sweet and yet sad. Like he was feeling embarrassed or ashamed of his speech. Even though it made my heart feel lighter.

I grab his hand and lead him to where I bag was resting, then I gently tug him up the stairs.

Even after all we had been through, all we had lost and said to each other, he still loved me, he still wanted me, we were still us.

NOTE:

Hi everybody! First I want to say I'm so sorry for the hiatus I put this story on. I just lost the motivation and the desire to really continue writing, so I took a break and while I was breaking I stopped watch Walking Dead and discovered another TV show that stole all my Walking Dead mojo.

However, I am back and I am ready to finish this story up. I plan on making this as long as Nothing Ever Lasts, but my plans almost never go like they are supposed too. So all I can say is this story may be a short as just a few more chapters or as long as the other story. It's all up in the air right now.

Second, I want to thank you all for your patience. I even picked up more follows and favorites during my break. I hope I don't lose too many people and that you all like this chapter!

As always please review! especially this one as it's my first chapter in several months.

Thanks again,

Maxy93