A/N I'm not quite sure what happend!- I spent a day watching all Lucas and Peyton clips on youtube which was followed by a sudden burst of writing that resulted in this...

The last twenty four hours had been an emotional roller coaster to say the least and for a while, after he'd left, she'd just let herself sit beneath the piano and cry. Because she was angry and upset, and confused about what had happened. She was meant to be happy, she was meant to be uncontainable with happiness because he'd implied that he was still hung up on her.

She wasn't happy though, not in the slightest; she couldn't understand why he felt that way, when he'd made his feelings prior to her departure, more than clear. He couldn't mean what he said. She refused to believe it. Her heart wasn't strong enough to withstand any more games. It was enough to make her wish she'd not come back at all.

Peyton flushed, just thinking about the way he'd touched her, how his mouth had been everywhere all at once, how much she'd enjoyed it. And she hated herself for it. Hated how weak she'd been in the moment.

At some point she became aware of the rising sunlight, breaking through the large windows. She'd miss the view from her apartment on mornings like this. It was like, just for a moment the city stopped, shrouded in gold. She shifted from her hiding spot, wiping at the sticky remains of tears at her cheeks as she stood. The apartment felt emptier in daylight, her gentle foot steps echoing in the vast space. The decision to move had been easy, it had been a choice she'd made in the first few weeks of being away. She couldn't return and live in this building anymore because she didn't want the same life. She needed a new home; a new abode for a new start.

Intent on getting Lucas out of her mind she decided finishing up packing was a good distraction but didn't get very far because the young girl's silhouette hovering near the doorway startled her; she'd temporarily forgotten that she wasn't alone.

The young model's long, dark silky hair was tangled and her mascara smudged around her eyes and she looked impossibly childlike as she lingered nervously and Peyton felt a flash of tenderness.

'It's Aurora right?'

'Just' She cleared her croaky throat before trying again. 'Just Roary'

'Just Roary' Peyton smiled. 'I'm Peyton'

She nodded dazedly for she new very well that it was Peyton Wolf that stood before her. 'I...how, is...where am I?' She asked incoherently, shifting her weight.

'This is my place. Well for the next week or so' She regarded Roary carefully. She remembered how she'd thought when she was this kids age. She'd thought she could do everything by herself. She'd thought she was old enough to handle everything without any guidance or support. How wrong she'd been. 'You must be wondering how you got here' She walked nearer to the petite girl. 'Do you remember anything?'

Aurora held her heels in one hand and they clanked together as she edged cautiously further into the room. The sun pouring through the vast windows hit her and she winced, her large brown eyes crumpling in displeasure. 'Is Carl here?'

'No, no' Peyton watched her worry her red bottom lip. 'Don't worry. I'll make sure you never seem him again. Why don't you come sit down?'

'I should probably just go-'

'No. Please. Come sit'

Roary swallowed, but begrudgingly followed the blonde to one of the leather sofas.

'Do you remember what happened?'

'Erm...No, well a little, look I'm really sorry. You're like Peyton Wolf and you probably just think I'm a stupid little girl'

Peyton shook her head. 'Of course I don't' She didn't know how to address the previous night and decided there wasn't any easy way other than just saying it. 'I got you home last night, because you were looking worse for wear and Carl would have taken you back to his otherwise'

Roary nodded uncomfortably. 'You're really pretty'

Peyton rolled her eyes at her attempt to steer the conversation else where. She didn't like this kids insecure expression, she was incredibly attractive and yet so blatantly disbelieving to that fact. This is what this world did to you. Peyton wondered how many times she'd been told she needed to loose a few pounds or that her face wasn't pretty enough. 'You're forced to think that. It's like eating a new food, they say if you eat something you don't like enough you'll actually start liking it; you see my face enough you start to think I'm pretty'

A glimmer of a smile touched Roary's rose bud lips and she was no longer a young model but an awkward teenager.

Peyton tilted her head to the side, her smile dwindling as she veered the topic back on track. 'Honey I know what was going on last night'

Roary looked down suddenly, shame morphing her features.

'You know we can call the police. We should tell-'

'No...look I knew what I was doing. Carl is alright. You probably got the wrong end of the stick. I was with him through choice' She declared defensively.

'Drugging girls and taking advantage of them isn't alright Roary'

'He didn't drug me...I just, I...it was going to be my first time...I took the drugs voluntarily, I wanted them.' She clawed her hands into her hair. 'Look I don't expect you to get it okay? I know it looks bad but it's fine. My Mum, she, she has a drink problem and I, I have a kid sister, she's only nine but she's like super talented at dance and she wants to go to this fancy ballet school, if I earn enough money I'd be able to get Mum help and send Rihanna to private school. Carl can help'

'Honey sleeping with him isn't going to help'

'I know it's wrong. I know it's gross what I'm doing but it'll be just once and he'll help me make it'

'Maybe. Maybe not. But it's not worth it. All this' Peyton flailed her hands in the air, a small swell of panic rising in her chest; she feared she was failing miserably at convincing this impressionable young girl that she was making all the wrong choices. 'It's nothing if you're not happy and money can't buy happiness. Believe me, I know. Is it really worth it? Giving yourself to someone you don't know, sure he might give you money but you'll hate yourself-'

'You don't know what it's like. It's not much to sacrifice when-'

'I get it. More than you know. I know what it's like not being able to help the people you love the most but Roary, what about you?'

'It doesn't matter about me'

Peyton frowned. Asides from Lucas she'd never talked to anyone about her relationship with Carl, but this was suddenly easy, easy when she hoped it would help this girl not make the same mistakes she had. Besides, she didn't think she could pull off any convincing type of subterfuge so decided to just trust that Roary would be discreet and not go babbling to some reporter once she confided in her. 'You do matter. I wish someone had been there to tell me that' She scraped her hand through her hair. 'It was horrible for me and it wasn't my first time and I hated myself for doing it, still do. I don't want you to have that regret honey...your first time should be special'

'You...' She looked at the older model quizzically and Peyton could tell she wanted more information.

'It was a long time ago... it was wrong then and it's wrong now. He blackmailed me and he's doing the same to you, I know it probably doesn't feel like it but it's just the same Roary' She took her hand. 'Look I can help you. I want to help you. I can get your Mum some help, I know a lot of people and as for your sister, I'm sure I can sort something out'

Roary's eyebrows raised, stunned. She was baffled by Peyton's openness, kindness and generosity, she was known as the ice queen after all. She shook her head suddenly. 'I can't ask you to do that'

'You didn't. I want to' Peyton dismissed her protest. She needed to do this. She couldn't let Roary walk out of here knowing she was going to walk down the same path she had.

'You're a lot nicer than I heard. I like you Peyton'

A wide grin spread across Peyton's face. 'I like you too Roary. Just don't get on my bad side'

Brooke wrapped a sheet of bubble wrap around another photo frame, fondly smiling at the blonde haired child that was captured with her parents in the black bordering frame. 'You were such a cute kid' She idly mentioned, carefully putting the now protected item into an open cardboard box. 'Have you seen Mummy and Daddy yet?'

'No, haven't exactly mentioned that I'm back'

'Peyton'

'What? I'm just sorting my life out and that doesn't involve them interfering for a bit okay? You know you don't have to examine everything you pack up' Peyton glanced at her watch. 'Time is of the essence and all that. The storage people will be here at 2 to collect everything'

'I can't help it, you were just so darn cute. What went wrong?'

Peyton stuck her tongue out childishly. 'Very funny'

Brooke grinned, returning to looking at all of her friend's photos as she assisted in packing up the few remaining things. 'So, you left with Lucas after the party the other night?'

'I told you about Roary, he just helped me get her back to mine'

Aurora had been a welcomed distraction over the past few days. She was trying to keep herself as busy as possible, trying to keep all thoughts of him at bay. Because when she stopped moving, stopped long enough to think for just a moment, she was left going over the words that had transpired between them, the kiss that had left her craving more. She banished herself from even thinking his name, scared that he was going to come knocking, scared that he'd want to talk again.

'So...nothing...happened?' Brooke tried subtly, but subtlety wasn't her forte.

'He told you didn't he?' Peyton deduced, abandoning the box she'd been taping up, her hair flicking out as she raised her head, eyes interrogating as she focused on Brooke.

'I might of threatened his life if he didn't tell me exactly what happened' Brooke shrugged indifferently. She was beyond invested in these two people and seeing them happily together was what she ideally wanted.

'Well he kissed me. I didn't kiss him. Did he tell you that? Look Brooke I don't...I don't want to talk about it'

'He does'

'Well last time we talked it ended up with him sticking his tongue in my mouth' Her lips curled into a scornful smile.

Brooke dubiously looked at her, hand on hip. 'Okay. And you don't want to talk about it because? You know it would help if you talked about it, what's going on in your head girly?'

'You wanna play shrink?'

'No I want to play interfering friend. Now spill'

'Wouldn't you rather hear about Roary?'

'Sixteen year old Peyton Wolf wannabe that you're saving, yada, yada, yada. I've got the story on Roary. Now Lucas?' She chirped.

Flustered by Brooke's incessant meddling, Peyton ran a hand over her forehead, the brunette's kind yet expectant face drawing the trapped words from her mouth. 'He keeps calling me. He keeps leaving message after message and I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk about him-'

'Honey he only wants to explain'

'Explain? What is there to explain! I don't care, I just, I can't go back Brooke. For the first time in a long time I feel mentally stable and he fucks that up. He can't just decide that he loves me. He doesn't. He's just lonely. He ended it. Not me.'

Brooke nodded. She understood Peyton's bitterness. She herself had found Lucas' behaviour hard to get her head round but she knew his feelings for the blonde were nothing but genuine.

'Look Brooke, I know you're worried about me and Luke and I know I was a bit dark-'

'A bit?'

'Okay a lot' Peyton amended with a roll of her eyes. 'But I'm fine now. I just want to concentrate on moving on with my life' She patted a nearby stack of boxes. 'And moving out of here is step one'

Brooke nodded affirmatively.

'Step two, I need to actually figure out where I'm going' Peyton screwed her face up a little in thought. She'd not found anywhere yet and she didn't exactly know where she wanted to be.

'You're kind of doing this a bit backwards aren't you? You're meant to find a place and then move out?'

'Don't make me stressed'

'Oh that reminds me, Me and Julian are going up to his parents place in the Hamptons this weekend. You're invited'

'I don't know Brooke I don't want to intrude, I'm sure Julian will appreciate me ruining his little romantic weekend' She drawled sarcastically.

'It's not going to be like that. We're having a little party so there's a bunch of people meeting us up there. Besides you can do some thinking about what you want to do. You'll come?'

'Okay'

'Wonderful'.

Her decision to let him come in was purely because she needed for this to stop. The phone calls. The messages. Everything. And if that meant letting him talk to her so be it.

'Peyton, I'm, I'm sorry for the other night' He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and knew he needed to step away from her before it was too late, before this conversation ended just like their last, with him pouncing on her in a heated physical embrace.

He couldn't do that, not this time. He new the repercussions if he did, he wasn't so stupid as to think she'd even consider seeing him again if he tried anything. So he stepped back.

'There's no excuse. I just missed you and was overwhelmed to have you so close again' He sheepishly explained.

'Roary is in through there' She announced, refusing to acknowledge what he was insinuating. It was all his implications that had gotten her so confused.

His brow kinked at the sudden change of subject. He peered round the corner to see the silhouette of the young girl and wondered if she was telling him of her presence because she didn't trust that he could keep his hands to himself. He shoved his fingers into his pockets, maybe she was right. 'Oh? How is she doing?'

'Better. I'm helping her out with a few things. She's a good kid'

He smiled softly. 'That's really great Peyton. What you're doing is really great' She didn't answer and the silence pained him. 'Look, I came here because I wanted to talk to you. Properly. About everything'

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. 'I'm not sure there's much to talk about'

'There is' He disputed. 'I just, I messed up Peyt. I messed up so badly. And I'm so sorry. So sorry for hurting you, for pushing you away, for making you think I don't love you'

She grimaced. She could feel herself shrinking back into the recesses of her mind. She doubted his words with every fibre of her being, maybe it was the pessimist in her but she'd lived through enough things in her time and was being nothing but realistic in her eyes. She had no reason to trust him, all the evidence led to the contrary.

'If I'd died, I didn't want you to go through that. I've lost someone I loved and it's, it's fucking hard Peyton and I didn't think-'

'You were right. What you did was right. To end it; we were just, we were just...infatuated but it wasn't love. We're from different worlds' This conversation seemed so familiar and his head shook with frustration, he'd spent so much time convincing her otherwise, convincing her that he was it for her and he'd gone and ruined it all. 'I'm from the city, you're from the country. You deserve someone that can be your pretty little housewife. We're not compatible' She cited. It had been her mantra if you like, listing all the reasonings as to why they weren't compatible, whether they were valid or not wasn't important. 'I'm stubborn and cold and your gentle and righteous and it doesn't work. Can't work'

He gaped slightly at her. He knew what she was doing, knew she was actively trying to push him away. He was reminded of all the obstacles that had posed a threat to their relationship thus far, all the road blocks that had gotten in their way. Her insecurities. Her Mum. Her Dad. Felix. His jealousy. His insecurities. He tried to zone out as she went on to note what he considered to be his weaknesses and a part of him, the selfless part wanted her to continue pushing, for him to quit fighting for her because he wanted the best for her. But the selfish part, the selfish part grew angry, it was the part of him that had grown desperate and tired over the last few months, the part of him that had him up all night, yearning for her. And that selfish monster in him wanted nothing more than for Peyton to surrender, for her to back down and admit defeat and to tell him that she understood why he'd acted the way he had, that she forgave him and that she wanted to move on, together.

He didn't get why she wasn't even prepared to listen to what he had to say. He could see the determination in her eyes, resolute and resistent. It was like she was determined to believe that he had maliciously deceived her, and that their relationship had been wrong and should never have happened in the first place. Lucas knew that that wasn't the case. It couldn't be. And he hadn't deceived her, well maybe a little but he'd deceived himself too and it had only been because he was trying to protect her.

For a moment the look of resolution on his face dwindled but then his lips thinned, and when he focused his harsh stare on her once again there was no hint of indecision. 'I can't believe you'd say that. That's not true' He murmured quietly. 'We are good together. We're meant to be together'

It was a warring feeling; to be so confused. One part of her was pleased, inevitably so, because he was saying things that she longed to hear but the other part was mistrusting and non-believing. She despised the uneasiness, the unfamiliarity of them. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult.

'Lucas I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same-'

'Yes you do-'

'I will always be here if you need me but we, we're over' She nodded with finality.

'Peyton-'

'I can't, I can't ever go to that place again Luke. It's dark and it scares me and I don't want to be that person'

'Peyton people do stupid fucking things when they think they're going to die. It fucks with your mind. I was fucking stupid'

'I know' She murmured. 'And I'm really glad you're okay Luke. Maybe we can be friend-'

'I've never been your friend' He was quick to abolish any pitiful suggestions she had.

'Well. That's all I am now'

She watched his fingers bawl into fists at his sides and then flex out. 'I won't be your friend' He shook his head, his voice a calm, exhausted whisper.

Disappointment that she tried to quell, simmered unpleasantly in her stomach; she'd anticipated his anger not his demise. She couldn't fathom the dissatisfied feeling that numbed her- she was meant to be happy with her triumph but as the front door closed behind him, she felt no such elation; he was meant to be angry.

This bar was where they'd first kissed. It had been the beginning and as he sat nursing his drink he feared it was the end.

'Never fall in love with a model'

Lucas' eyes snapped up from his drink, his blood running cold as his steely gaze met Felix. Great. The last person he wanted to run into.

'Especially a model called Peyton Wolf. They're all fucked up my friend'

'I suggest you leave me alone because I am not in the mood'

'Look, I know we had a misunderstanding-'

'There was no misunderstanding- you think you can get people to do whatever the hell you like with no regard to them-'

'Oh please, Lucas look I appreciate that you're this good guy, but you don't know shit. You think she cared for you? Well I assure you she didn't- She walked out on you after all-'

'Actually I'm the one that ended it' He seethed.

'Well, you came to your senses' He sent a congratulatory slap to Lucas' back.

'Forgive me for not wanting to talk to the guy that blackmailed my girlfriend'

'Ex-girlfriend. Oh please, you make me sound like the bad guy' Felix leaned on the bar. 'Look no hard feelings, let me buy you a drink' He signalled to the bartender but Lucas was quick to decline the replenished drink that was set before him. 'I know Peyton, Lucas. She's a free spirit and lets face it, you're not the kind of guy that can handle the little minx -'

'Just stay away from me and stay away from Peyton'

'It's Peyton that has the trouble with staying away from me' Lucas lifted his head and looked into Felix's smarmy face. 'I hate to be the one to shatter your little fantasies but she's definitely not hung up on you anymore, she's moved on to better and bigger things' He finished slowly, articulating his last few words and Lucas felt sick at the sly grin on his face. He was too stunned to move away as Felix lent forward, his hand cupping the back of Lucas' head firmly. 'It's my name she screams out now Lucas' he whispered crudely in his ear.

He saw red and without a modicum of thought, his hand snapped out, ensnaring the arm that was resting on the bar. A grim smile played on his face; it was satisfying to watch Felix squirm, to know that just tightening his hand a fraction more would snap the bone.

Felix's face reddened, wearing the fear that came along with Lucas' assault. It had come unexpectedly and at the position they were in, Lucas had the upper hand.

Sure it was satisfying, but it didn't eradicate his rage. He could hurt him, he could get into a fist fight, but it wouldn't take back what had been done. He abruptly released him and Felix stumbled. He kept picturing them together, couldn't get all of the different scenarios out of his racing mind, some of them ending with her crying out his name in pleasure, and some in pain.

He needed out of this bar and far away from Felix Taggero.

'You stay the fuck out of her life' He growled and then he was leaving. He couldn't get far enough away.

Peyton couldn't quite believe how drastically her life had altered in the last year, couldn't quite believe all the things that had happened.

She stood on the porch of Julian's parents house, looking out at the large stretch of land. It was picture perfect; a little bubble, obscuring the outside world. Sand. Trees. Lush green lawn. She liked it here. The Summer's sun was hot, the coasts gentle breeze bringing a welcomed relief.

She could hear Brooke's carefree, idle laughter drifting through the open french doors and she was happy, happy for her friend. Julian was good for her, they bought out the best in each other.

A few people scattered the lawn, she didn't really know the guests. But it was nice. It was civilised. And for a moment she felt content.

That was until she noted four people walking around the side of the house and her heart sunk. Bubble burst.

Nathan. Haley. Jamie. Lucas.

'Peyton' Brooke's voice was wary and apologetic as she noted what had her friend's face twisting.

'Brooke' Peyton moaned back, quickly turning to face the brunette, a scowl on her pretty face.

'I didn't tell you but you didn't ask' Brooke shrugged defensively.

'I can't-'

'We're all friends. You're going to have to get use to him being around honey. I mean, he's going to be there at my wedding and considering you're maid of honor you're going to have to at least be civil'

Peyton's eyes went wide, her mouth agape at Brooke's sudden blurted confession. She blinked, uncertain that she'd just heard correctly.

'I'm hoping your silence is a yes because-'

'Married. You're getting married? To Julian?'

'No, to Lucas' Brooke teased. 'Of course Julian'

'Oh my god, why didn't you tell me?'

'I was going to, it's not like I've been trying to hide this' Peyton's stare took in the ring that was sparkling iridescently on Brooke's wedding finger. How hadn't she noticed it before now? 'But you've been a little preoccupied'

'I'm such a bad friend, I'm so self obsessed'

'No' Brooke flailed her hand dismissively. 'You've just got home. You've had a lot on your mind'

'So this is like, an engagement party' Peyton looked around with new eyes.

'Well sort of'

'And you want me? To be your Maid of honor?'

'Yes' Brooke proudly confirmed.

'But I, me? What about Haley? I'm not exactly honorable'

'Haley and me are friends but she's not my best friend'

Peyton felt a stinging at her nose and her eyes water.

'Me?'

'Yes'

Peyton threw her arms round the brunettes neck. She wasn't good with words—hell, over the last year she'd only just started grasping the concept of feelings she hadn't known were possible. But actions spoke louder than words and this hug said a thousand things.

'I'm taking this as a yes?'

'Yes, of course yes'

'You'll try and get on with Luke this weekend won't you?'

'I wouldn't ruin your weekend B Davis. Best behaviour. I swear. And I'm so, so happy for you'.

Lucas tentatively crossed the large garden, joined by his brother, best friend and nephew but was soon falling behind the young family. Brooke hadn't answered him when he'd asked if Peyton would be here, instead she'd rambled on dramatically saying that he better come or she'd never speak to him again. He wasn't surprised to see her standing up near the house but he very much doubted that she knew he were coming, nor that some of his family were in attendance.

She was wearing a simple, deep blue halter sun dress and was bare foot and of course his eyes were drawn to her long legs. He closed his eyes and tried not to remember the way her warm skin had felt beneath his hands the week before, did not want to recall the way her lips had moved against his, her hot breath mingling with his own. Nor did he want to think about the sensation of her tiny hands clutching at his forearms. He closed his eyes. It was futile. He let himself remember her flushed cheeks, her swollen lips, her long eyelashes, her tears and then his eyes snapped open because he didn't want to remember the sadness in her eyes. Sadness that was his doing.

He clutched the engagement present under his arm tighter and silently formulated a plan in his head; he would be on his best behaviour regardless of any desires he had, regardless of his menacing need to drag her aside and yell at her some because Felix Taggero's words plagued him and he wanted the truth right this second. But he figured Brooke Davis wouldn't be impressed if he sabotaged her little party. He couldn't do that to her.

'Luke, you made it' Julian's voice ushered him across the the last few steps to the grill that the recently engaged man was tending with a bright smile.

'Wouldn't have missed it for the world. Congrats Julian' Lucas slapped his back in greeting. 'And good luck. You're going to need it' He taunted.

Julian laughed. 'It's not me that's going to need luck, you're late. She's already pissed at you'

'Yeah well I bought Hales and Nate and I bring a gift that was more aimed at her than you so I think I'll earn some friend points back'

'You know her too well' Julian noted, diligently flipping the cooking chicken and burgers.

'Know her well enough to know that she's never been this happy'

'Thanks man, that means a lot' He looked at Lucas, to find his stare on a certain blonde that was mingling up near the house with his fiancee. 'Did Brooke tell you she was going to be here?'

'Na but I figured' Lucas shrugged. 'It's cool'

'Can't be easy though. She'll come round though Luke. I've never seen her look at anyone like she looks at you'

Lucas kinked his brow. 'You two, you never...?'

'Oh god no' Julian shook his head. 'Well she tried, I am irresistible you know' He smugly informed a relieved Lucas. 'But she was only seventeen when we first met, I was looking for the one'

'And you've found her'

'Yes. And I think Peyton has too if it's any consolation. She's still hung up on you man'

'I hope so. I've not given up on her yet' He confided. 'She's just really, really fucking stubborn'

'You were kind of an ass'

'Noted. And I've paid the ultimate price'

'Well, I'm rooting for you two. Besides it'll bring this civilised party some much in need entertainment'

'I'm glad my fucked up life brings you such amusement' He droned with a shake of his head. 'This is going to be a long weekend'

Lucas had been right; the weekend seemed to be moving at an impossibly slow rate. Peyton despised the almost painfully polite charade that he was playing, had been playing since the moment they'd been forced to greet each other the prior day. She wanted his anger over this stupid act. But she played along too.

To bystanders it might have even seemed believable. She smiled and answered when he asked her how she was. He made small talk. He suggested books he thought she might enjoy. She told him about a few new bands she'd discovered. But it wasn't natural and she hated every moment. She wondered if this was it now. A game of charades. But this is what she'd desired wasn't it? Friendship?

Somehow she'd managed to avoid the little perfect Scott family for the most part but to her discomfort she suddenly found herself standing alone beside Mrs Haley James Scott.

'Haley, hi' It didn't take much for Peyton Wolf to feel intimidated but there was something about Haley that made her feel anxious. Nathan she liked a lot, but then again Nathan had sort her out after five minutes of arriving to greet her and there'd been zero awkwardness.

'Peyton' Haley forced a polite smile.

'I...this is crazy right? Brooke and Julian?' Peyton attempted to make conversation. 'Brooke only told me about they're engagement yesterday afternoon'

'Well that's not that crazy, she'd only told close friends'

It was a clear jab and Peyton felt it low in her gut. She swallowed. 'I know, I mean what was Brooke thinking, inviting me, the maid of honour? To her engagement party?' She mocked, revelling in the dismayed expression that was quick to descend upon Haley's unsuspecting face.

They stood side by side. Both looking on at the young party guests that were making the best of the swimming pool. Jamie waved every now and again in their direction and both women smiled.

Inevitably the conversation was quick to transcend to Lucas; their only common ground.

'How're things between you and Luke?' Haley asked quite suddenly.

Peyton indulged her, eager to fill the awkwardness between them with words. 'Not wonderful. You know; it's hard, there's a lot of emotions there but we're dealing'

'Yes well, I think the break up was sensible and you did the right thing in going away for a while. He needed not to be stressed out'

She couldn't bite her tongue. Maybe it was just her breaking point, maybe the emotion filled week had just caught up with her, maybe it hit her so hard because she feared there was truth in the young mother's words, whatever the reason, she couldn't ignore the underlying meaning of Haley's statement.

'Are you suggesting that I'm the reason he needed a heart transplant?' She didn't bother to hide her indignant expression.

'His condition was stable before he met you'

'I didn't do that to him' She lowly stated.

'Maybe not but it's a little strange how drastically his health changed in your presence. Not everyone is accustomed to your lifestyle'

'You know nothing about my lifestyle'

'Really? Well pictures say a thousand words and I know what I see. You didn't ever really care for him, I'm glad he finally saw sense before it was too late and he was buried ten feet underground'

Peyton had had her fair share of cat fights over the year. Haley however had not and the sudden jarring push to her shoulders sent her stumbling back instantaneously. Peyton couldn't help herself. It was uncontrollable. She'd seen black and her hands had taken a course of their own.

The splash was loud. Her screech was loud. The young mother and wife's teal dress bellowed out around her in the water.

'Don't fucking talk to me Haley'

Silence eclipsed the whole vicinity, shrouding the high spirited atmosphere in sudden darkness and Peyton suddenly felt physically sick. Because this was the one thing she'd promised Brooke she wouldn't do. She'd promised to be on her best behaviour but the person that had just pushed Haley Scott into a pool was not the best version of herself.

A hand found hers and her feet stumbled as she dazedly allowed herself to be dragged away from the humiliating stares. It was only when they were halfway down the lawn did she realise it was none other than Lucas who was dragging him behind her.

His hands were rough and coarse from years of having his head stuck under bonnets of cars and she grimaced as his long fingers wrapped around hers tightly; she knew this was one of those situations, when you know you shouldn't do something but the more you tell yourself no, the more tempted you are.

She let him pull her away from the pretty soiree and didn't look back over her shoulder, hoping perhaps if she didn't look, no one would notice them disappearing into the trees. She wasn't so foolish to think that Brooke Davis didn't have eyes in the back of her head nor that there was any chance of her going unnoticed after the spectacle she'd just created. With that thought she tried to free her hand.

'Luke what do you want? I don't want people to notice we've disappeared'

'What the hell was that?'

'She pissed me off'

'She's my best friend'

'She's not mine!'

'She's pregnant Peyton'

Her angry eyes tapered into dark beads of concern.

'I...I didn't know that'

'You know you could try and act your age-'

And then the anger was back. 'Me? You didn't hear her Lucas. But thanks for the vote of confidence' She spat back. 'I don't want to hear this' she marched away.

'No you don't' He grabbed her arm and spun her around. 'I want to talk'

'Yeah well I'm done talking, I've got nothing else to say'

'Well you can listen then' He let go of her forearm and she stumbled. 'Are you dating anyone?'

'What?' Her face softened with her confusion.

'Are you-'

'I don't think that's any of your business'

'I've told you before, everything to do with you is my business.'

'Don't speak to me like that Luke' She sighed wearily. 'I seem to remember you saying to me that it wasn't any of my business to know that you had a heart transplant. Well I don't think my love life has anything-'

'Felix? Really Peyton? Fucking Felix?' She jumped at his severe tone. 'Felix?' He'd held his tongue, it's all he'd wanted to blurt out for the best part of the previous evening and day.

Guilt caught in her throat and she turned away from the name he was barking at her, walking further into the maze of trees.

'Where're you going?' He grabbed at her arm again, halting her attempted escape.

'Why're you yelling at me?' She wriggled free of his hold, irritated by his manhandling.

'Because!' He exclaimed. 'You're fucking Felix? Of all the people in the world. Felix!'

Their relationship was hanging on a thread and his sudden outburst abolished the false harmony that had been established in the last day; potentially tearing those shaky foundations apart, perhaps severing their relationship for good this time.

She blinked.

She didn't know how he'd stumbled across this information, but considering she'd only told Brooke of her run in with the man in question she figured it was from Felix himself.

'He said you're sleeping with him?'

She looked down and he stared at her with narrowed eyes.

'Well?'

'Luke' She scowled, he didn't get to talk to her like that. He didn't get to be judgemental and he didn't get to care.

'That's really none of your-'

'Don't tell me it's not my fucking business cause it is. God damn it Peyton' He gritted his teeth together. 'I know I don't get to be mad. I know we weren't together I just want to-'

I didn't sleep with him She almost cut in. But the hurt in his eyes was her reprisal because god had she suffered and if only for a moment it made her feel better. She'd stopped listening to his growling voice. Her stare focused on the worried lines on his forehead and the way his eyes were squinting at her.

'So you're not going to fucking say anything?' Standing to his full height, he rolled his shoulders, attempting to loosen his tensed muscles, and then he hit the tall oak tree that barred over them, trying to expel the frustration.

She watched a wince mar his pretty face and felt herself imitate his expression.

'What the hell Lucas?' She cried.

She instinctively reached out to tend to his hand but he shrugged her off in annoyance. 'It's fine. I'm fine!'

She could clearly see grazes on his knuckles and gritted her teeth. He wasn't fine. They weren't fine.

The civil rapport that they'd been effortlessly implementing over the last twenty four hours crumbled.

Her emotions were under lock and key and she quickly crossed her arms defensively over her chest, hiding her heart. Her eyes narrowed, concealing the spark that only he ignited and she masked the breathless, can't eat, can't sleep, I'd die for you expression that only frequented her face in his presence by forcing a resilient scowl.

He let out an exhale and she cringed at the low sound of the hastily indrawn breath that followed.

And just like that, her charade faltered, face falling with concern. She hated herself for a moment because he was fragile, in her eyes. His heart condition, the transplant. He didn't need to be getting stressed out and she was instantly remorseful and was quick to completely abandon the ice princess persona she was so desperately trying to portray. Maybe Haley was right. Maybe she did cause all this.

'I haven't fucking slept with him' She shrilly announced.

His head jerked.

'I don't believe you'

'I was going to, I went to his, I had every intention to' She honestly revealed.

Lucas' face paled.

'Why...why would...he, after he...' He pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew he shouldn't be mad but everything he was feeling was quite the opposite of not mad. 'Why would you fucking do that?

'I don't know' She sighed, closing her eyes. 'I don't expect you to understand...I did a lot of stupid stuff after we broke up'

He grimaced.

'I was mad at you and I guess, I guess I thought sleeping with Felix would make me feel better'

'Right' He glared. 'And did it?'

'I told you I didn't'

'Of all the fucking people in the world you had to go to him? Did I mean that little?' He seethed.

Her startled eyes narrowed with his question, a rage bellowing deep in her lungs. 'Did I mean that little?' She growled back. 'Are you forgetting who fucking ended us? It shouldn't matter who I sleep with to you!'

'Damn it Peyton. I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. How can I get you to see that? Stop shutting me out! You're stood up there with all those people and you look at me like I'm one of them, like I'm just an acquaintance. Stop pretending that there's nothing between us…that you don't feel the same…that you don't still want me as much as I want you'

'I don't want you! I've moved on. I've spent the last four months moving on'

'You haven't moved on and I sure as hell haven't' He wasn't trying to cause more damage than he'd already done but he felt like they were going round in circles. She'd been listening when he'd grovelled to her at the beginning of the week, she had but apparently she'd not heard. It was essential that he proved to her that he was the Lucas she'd fallen in love with, the man she was meant to be with but every harsh word that was delivered failed to work in his favour.

The anger that ran viciously through her veins along with her heartbreak moulded into a volatile combination. 'Don't tell me that I haven't moved on! How dare you imply that?' She bleated.

'I can't be without you' It was a long shot and he wasn't surprised by her snort that followed.

'Well you sure found it fucking easy to push me away' He'd never seen her so mad. 'You never had me Lucas, not really' The vindictive words rolled off her tongue.

He'd been angry but now she was just provoking him and he took the bate.

'Never had you?' He nodded composedly but he was anything but composed, not beneath the surface and she could see it blazing dangerously in his eyes. 'Right. That's funny because I recall having you over and over again, you couldn't get enough. All those times you called me to come meet you in a sordid hotel room' She cowered away as he snatched her arms, the trunk of the overshadowing oak hitting her back. He loomed over her, completely breaching her personal space.

'That's not what I meant-'

'I know what you meant. I'm the only man that's had you in your bed though, remember? I'm the only man you've really ever given yourself to'

Her mind was quick to go to inappropriate places because his hard torso was millimetres from her chest and she wanted him closer and the words he was saying awakened something deep inside her and god she hated him.

'Don't trivialise what we had just because you're fucking pissed at me' He stepped forward, his thigh inadvertently lodging in between her legs and she gasped. 'Tell me you didn't fuck him'

'You want to know every detail of what happened?' She growled. She craved the green-eyed monster in front of her. Craved his suffering because in some sick way it made everything better. 'I chose to go to him, not the other way round...I let him kiss me in his study' He gritted his teeth. 'I let him finger me on his desk'

A growl that sounded like a wounded animal left him and she shuddered as his forehead pressed into hers almost painfully. He had no pride left.

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to eradicate the horrible visions her words garnered. He wasn't sure he could hear anymore.

Every night he'd spent without her had been like torture, every time he'd shut his eyes, images of green eyes and honeyed hair danced underneath his eyelids while soft, pouty lips and long endless legs paraded through his mind. He opened his eyes. He didn't need to imagine. She was right here. His. Not Felix's.

His eyes were hungry as his strong, masculine hand tightened on her right wrist while the other moved, sliding down her side with authority. He was done being tentative. Done with the pleading. He didn't want this, them, to be a distant memory. His ego was severely wounded and he needed to amend the vile images she'd put in his mind.

She sighed at the feeling of his hands on her, aching for his touch.

She wasn't good at expressing her feelings, he'd learnt that long ago, she said things that she didn't mean but she'd always, even from the beginning, physically expressed what her words did not. And right now as he pressed his thigh harder against her and her mouth opened, a strangled whimper touched his lips and it said a thousand words.

She could feel everything; the lapels of his jacket, the buttons on his shirt and the rivet on his pants, indenting the thin material of her dress.

The sight of him, crazed, hungry and greedy for her made her body ache for him in ways she did not want to condone, in ways she could not fight. A sigh of craving expelled from her lips again and again and Lucas inhaled her every last breath. His frenzied fingers suddenly grappled at her dress, foraging through the dark material until his fingertips found the silky skin of her thigh.

He knew this wouldn't change things, not to her anyhow, he had just seen the conflict that danced in her eyes. But it did for him, it did change things because she ached for him this way and that said a thousand things whether she denied it or not.

His manic eyes had long since locked with hers and he found himself staring into an abyss of green as his fingers moved slowly upward. And then they were at the inside of her thigh and then they were there. He watched her eyelashes flicker shut as he forcefully yanked her underwear aside, roughly dragging one finger over her. She'd been anticipating it, had known it was coming but the sudden invasion that followed had her biting down on her bottom lip in shock.

This was wrong. She didn't want this, but god did it feel good, god had she missed this. Missed him.

He savoured the way her head tilted back, bringing their faces closer together, her lips ghosting across his unintentionally. He cherished the way her face crumpled in pleasure, the way her back arched, pressing herself closer.

'Did he make you feel this good?'

She couldn't speak. Wouldn't speak.

'God. You're so tight'

Her eyes snapped open with his groaned words. She could hear the desire in his voice, see it in his eyes, feel it standing to attention against her stomach and just like that her quick approaching pleasure, overrode her every thought, every conflicting emotion and suddenly she was boldly nipping at his bottom lip and then his tongue was quickly darting from between his teeth to meet with hers and she drew it into a desperate, open-mouthed kiss. She didn't care anymore. Not a bit, instead she silently implored him to fuck her harder with his skilled fingers, her free hand gripping at the tree trunk behind her, fingernails digging into the bark.

Gasping, his lips left hers, moving to her ear. 'What else did you let him do?' He ground out gruffly.

She wasn't listening.

Her hips rocked frantically, twisting desperately to force his fingers deeper inside of her. It amazed her how in tune he was with her body, how he managed to make her feel this, how much she ached for him. Only him and she just wanted it to go away.

The hand that was still restraining her right wrist, abruptly freed her, swiftly clamping down on her hip, stilling her against the tree. 'Tell me'

A gasp of exasperation past her lips. This wasn't story-time. He was not doing this. She hated him. Her quivering body screamed out in protest. 'Don't be fucking cruel Luke' She panted. She'd been so close and he'd known it.

'Tell me what else? I want to erase it all. He doesn't belong here' His fingers curled inside her and she shuddered. 'I do'

She groaned, futilely trying to roll her hips against his hindering hold. She wanted to wrap her legs around him, to get even closer but she didn't. 'I stopped it okay? I stopped it cause it wasn't you' She exhaled.

His eyes were glittered with danger, his skin crawling because not for a moment did he think that Felix would let her just walk away.

'And he just let you go?'

'No, I smashed an ornament on his head' She growled. She gripped his forearm, nails pressing into him, silently demanding he continue his ministrations and forget about Felix fucking Taggero.

'That's my girl' His restraining hand at her hip slackened and her head dropped, forehead grinding into his shoulder as his fingers finished what they'd started.

And she was his in that moment. Just his and in a blinding flash of sensation she came apart in his arms, muscles all over her body clenching and then melting into a satisfied refuge.

He watched her face. She was so effortlessly beautiful. He'd once been a little intimidated by that, but when they were like this, when all those perfect little sounds past her lips, it let him know that she was just as attracted to him.

His hand moved from her underwear, drawing soothing patterns on the skin at her hip. 'I need to have you' He murmured in her ear.

It was like a switch being flipped. The anguish pelted down on her with full force and she wished she didn't feel so boneless.

His head tilted to look at her and she shook her head. 'No'

He could feel himself shaking, with lust, frustration, anger. He knew if he could kiss her he could distract her enough, reign her back in. But the spell had been broken and her foot aimlessly hit out, hitting his shin and he hissed his displeasure, stumbling back.

She needed him away from her.

She panted, shaking her head, physically indicating what she'd mentally decided. 'I'm not yours anymore Luke'

Enraged, anger fuelled him.

'I might not have fucked Felix but I've been with other people. You know that'

He did know that. He was trying to forget.

She watched, fear lingering in her eyes as he suddenly began pacing back and forth in front of her like a caged lion, trying to dispel the ache in his lower regions.

'You can't, can't just touch me like that' She wanted to scream that she wasn't strong enough to fight him when he touched her like that, that it wasn't fair that he could rule her body in the way that he did. She knew it wasn't his fault, new that it was just the way it was but she hated the constant battle she was having. Mind verses body and he wasn't helping.

His erratic emotions had him all over the place. There were so many things he wanted to say, he wanted to give her a piece of his mind and then the next moment he found himself wanting to grovel at her feet.

She put a hand down on the tree behind her, trying to steady herself. But it wasn't enough to feel grounded.

She needed to get away from him. The leaves crunched on the ground as she astutely past him on wobbly limbs and his blood began to boil once more. He wasn't finished here. He didn't want to go back up to the house and be surrounded by all those people. He didn't want to fake smiles and make small talk.

He took two deep calming breaths, telling himself to think rationally.

Tears pooled in her hurt eyes as she marched determinedly toward the house, she didn't want him to see her cry, wouldn't let him. She couldn't ever let him know how much walking away from him affected her. It hurt. It hurt so much. As she stumbled her way half-blinded by the tears that she refused to let cascade down her cheeks, she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Of how they'd gone from getting along amicably to having a screaming match to letting him do that. She didn't know how she'd let it escalate. She refused to let the stupid gnawing in the pit of her stomach ruin her objective; to leave. But it was hard. Because Lucas was the best relationship she'd ever had. The only. But this game they were playing was not harmless, it was toxic.

He didn't follow her, he didn't know how he managed to restrain himself, didn't know how he'd let it happen. He'd fucked up so badly in so many ways, and didn't know what to do about it. She was the center of his existence, anchoring him even when she was pushing him far away. She was at the centre of his world, it was everything, she was everything and she always had been. With that realisation, that epiphany, he hesitated. He wanted to be someone worthy of her, even if that meant she was never his again, because he couldn't live in a world knowing that she hated him. He needed to have her in his life, if all she gave was her grace and friendship, so be it. It was something. Maybe he would take that friendship after all. Only after everything that had just taken place, he wasn't so sure friendship would even be on the table anymore.