Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates. My school has been super insane with exams and stuff. Thankfully, it's all over now so I can write more! This chapter is sort of a filler but still had a few important things in it. Sorry for the lack of Fourtris, trust me, I feel it too! Thanks for sticking with me and this story!
Tris POV
I follow Christina and Will into the training room, nerves bubbling in my stomach. Today was the first day of fights. Every time I think about it, my stomach clenches into a bunch of knots. Punching a bag is one thing. Punching a person is another. And I don't only have to punch them-I have to knock them out completely. I have to make someone go unconscious.
I know I'm physically capable of it, but mentally? That's a whole other story. What if I'm paired against a friend? I wouldn't be able to hurt them, but if I let them beat me my ranking would plummet. I can't afford that.
Reaching the training room I hold the door open for Christina and Will, the Abnegation in me creeping out. Walking in behind them, I see Tobias waiting for us inside along with Eric. They stand side by side, but their shoulders are a good three feet apart. They obviously hate each other.
"Since there is an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," glancing at the board on the wall I sigh in relief. There's an empty space beside my name. I won't have to fight. Not today at least. Al and Will are first. Christina nudges me in the ribs, causing me to wince.
"Look, I'm up against the tank."
"Who?"
"Peter's slightly more feminine looking sidekick, Molly," she goes on to explain about Peter, Molly, and Drew. I tune out a bit, watching the fight. Al seems to be beating Will, though both are putting up a good fight. It takes a lot not to wince every time a punch or kick is thrown. One good thing is that I'll have the advantage of endurance. While some people will go down with a single kick or punch, it'll take a lot more to get me to fall.
Al wins the fight against Will, and Tobias carries Will to the infirmary while Christina walks up to the rink against Molly. I lean forward, nerves tugging at my stomach. Christina acts fast, aiming a swift kick at Molly. Molly reacts by diving towards Christina's stomach, knocking her to the ground. She punches her face repeatedly. Blood streams down her face onto the mat, staining it a dark red.
Christina attempts a weak punch at Molly, managing to wiggle out of grasp and get on her knees. I beg for her to go unconscious. Blood coats her fingers. Her shoulders shake with sobs. My heart aches, knowing all too well the pain she is feeling.
Molly kicks her side, "Stop! Stop! I'm...I'm done." Christina begs, her voice is thick with tears. Eric looks at her, his eyes swirling with fury. I flinch, knowing whatever he is about to say isn't going to be pleasant.
"Excuse me? What did you say? You're done?" Christina nods slowly. "Get up." His voice is quiet, careful. The voice that means he isn't just going to yell at her. The voice that means he is going to do much, much worse.
Grabbing Christina's arm, Eric yanks her to her feet and drags her out the door. "Follow me," he says, and we do. Too scared to disobey him.
Watching Christina hang over the chasm for 5 minutes was terrifying. If I lost her...I already feel that I can trust her, which isn't easy for me. Neither was watching all of the fights. I hate watching people get hurt and doing nothing about it. It makes me feel like Marcus. Feel dirty.
I shower and change in the bathroom. White scars fill my back and wrap around to my stomach. Looking at them makes me feel sick, so I quickly pull my shirt over my head and pull on my pants. When I come back spray-painted on my bed is Stiff. And on the bed-frame. And my pillow.
Whirling around I see Peter innocently fluffing his pillow. I stalk over, anger bubbling in my stomach.
"How dare you," I growl, pushing him up against the bed frame. "I'm not a stiff anymore. Get over it."
"Oh yeah?" Peter asks, "prove it." Without hesitation, I punch his nose, not caring that blood starts to drip down.
"Is that enough proof for you perfect boy?" He nods tersely. "Good."
I quickly wrap my sheets and pillowcase in a ball and shove it underneath my bed. I'll deal with getting new bedding later.
Today is the second day of fights. I know I have to fight today. As long as I don't have to fight Christina, Will, or Al I should do alright. Maybe even win if it's someone annoying like Molly. I'm strong, and I have experience with pain. Both good things to have going into a fight.
Reaching the training room my eyes immediately go to the board with all of the fights. Skimming down the list I find my name next to...Peter?
"Oh no," Christina says, standing next to me. Her face is black and blue, but other than that she is standing and fine. At least she is acting that way. I know her ribs are killing her. "They are making you fight him? That isn't fair at all." I shake my head. Peter beat Drew in less than 5 minutes yesterday, and today Drew's face is more black and blue then skin colored.
Summoning the anger I felt this morning I walk to the fighting arena. Peter stands in front of me, blood still slowly dripping out of his nose. I take a deep breath. I can do this. Peter underestimates me. I can use that to my advantage. I glance at Tobias, who is watching us from the corner of the room. His mouth is puckered, almost as if he had just eaten something sour. I know he had nothing to do with this pairing, there is no way he would have chosen to put me against Peter. Especially for my first fight.
"You okay there Stiff?" Peter asks, a smirk growing on his face. "You look like you are about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry." Gulping, my gaze turns cold. Anger at the nickname builds up in me. I kick at his side. It's strong enough to make him stumble, but he doesn't fall. I groan. I just showed my strength. So much for him underestimating me.
"Feisty I see. I can work with that." Without warning, he aims a punch at my head. Without thinking I duck and move behind him. Disoriented, Peter stumbles around for a second trying to find me. Taking advantage of it, I try to kick him in his side again. This time he trips and falls. Images of Marcus doing the same flash through my mind. Images of my cowering back in fear nearly overwhelm me. Peter kicks out, causing me to fall on my back.
He jumps at the new opportunity and quickly pounces at me. He aims a punch at my forehead, but I turn so it hits my cheek instead. I barely feel it. I attempt to punch him but he pins my arms down. Memories of Marcus doing the same thing before raping me flood my mind. I try to push them away, but it only makes the memories worse. My breathing picks up, and I panic. I bring up my knee, hitting Peter in the back surprising him.
I take advantage of his surprise by flipping over, putting myself in control once more. I push myself off the blood stained mat and aim a final kick at Peter's head. It lolls to the side as he falls unconscious. Relief floods me, but also guilt. Tears prick my eyes as I leave the mat, nearly falling into Christina's open arms.
"Damn Tris, that was badass. You beat Peter, you're almost guaranteed to stay in the first cuts!" Her words create a small smile. Beating Peter was good for my score, I wouldn't have to worry as much during training. That was good.
Memories and images are still flashing through my mind. I scan the room for Toby, maybe I could leave and he could follow. But do I really want that? No doubt he will ask why I spaced out. What would I say? I don't know, and I don't know where he is either.
He left in the middle of my fight.
Why? Pain stabs my heart. Eric has Will carry Peter to the infirmary while the next fight, Drew against Molly, started.
How am I going to finish the rest of the first stage of initiation if I can't even spar with someone without having flashbacks? I see Marcus enough in my dreams, why do I have to have flashbacks of him during the day too?
Christina glances at me, a worried expression on her face.
"Are you alright? You were doing really well and then you kind of just, stopped." I shrug.
"I honestly don't know what happened. My mind blanked out I guess. Must have been from panic."
"If you're sure…" I nod, "How is your cheek?"
"Fine," I say, which is true. I barely feel it. Just a small sting. "Is it bruised?"
"Yeah, a lot."
"Must be the adrenaline," I say though I know it's not. It's from the countless punches I've received on the same cheek.
After Drew and Molly's fight, Tobias comes back in. His face is red, and his eyebrows were furrowed together. He scans the room until he finds me. His eyes rest on me for a second, scanning my injuries. I nod a bit to let him know I'm alright, but it just causes his eyebrows to furrow more.
Finally, the fights finish. Eric releases us for lunch, walking out the doors with us. Tobias stays back.
"Tris? Can I talk to you for a second?" I turn around, not surprised he called me. Quickly letting Christina know I'll be back soon, I follow him to a bench in the middle of the training room. "We need to talk."