Author's Note: Here you go, chapter 25! Enjoy and thanks again for all of your reviews. And thanks so much for understanding. That means a lot.
Chapter 25
MASH 4077th - June 10, 1953 - 5:30 P.M.
"Have you read Margaret's letter yet?" BJ asked, laying in his cot reading the letter that Peg had sent him in the package.
Hawkeye was sitting in the chair next to the still, staring at the snapshot of his beautiful family yet again. His family…he didn't think he'd ever really get used to that phrase. If the pictures were sadly lost or something happened to them now, he'd still have the images permanently etched into both his mind and his heart, but he'd never let those four pictures out of his sight or at least away from his person for longer than what it would take to have a quick shower. When he wasn't looking at them, he'd stick them in his breast pocket and make sure it was buttoned closed. Of course, the snapshots had only been in his pocket for about thirty seconds as he made his way to the Swamp from Potter's office.
Looking over toward his friend, the new family man replied, "No, not yet…I can't tear my eyes away from these little faces." His voice full of emotion, he handed the pictures off to BJ. "Look at 'em Beej, they're incredible. Have you ever seen two, more beautiful babies?"
Chuckling, BJ took the pictures and looked at his best friend's kids. "Don't tell Peg I said this, but no…I can't say that I have." Of course to him, Erin was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen, but having been through the first-time-father's 'showing everyone your baby pictures until they get so annoyed they run away from you' routine, he knew what Hawkeye wanted to hear. Plus it wasn't too hard to say. Alicia and Michael Pierce really were adorable in the pictures.
While BJ was looking at his pictures, Hawkeye reached into his other pocket and took out the letter. Unfolding the thick bunch of paper, he 'dove right in' to his wife's handwriting.
Dear Daddy,
You were right…I still don't believe it, but you were right. All those weekends ago in Seoul, when you said you heard the two heartbeats, I just thought you were teasing or just plain crazy, but I can't believe you were right! I'm sorry if that sounds so redundant, but I'm so excited about having, not one, but TWO beautiful babies.
Hawkeye chuckled at his wife's obvious excitement. He'd be the same way if only he could be there… He was still excited about being a dad and couldn't wait to meet his kids, but that was just it, he'd have to 'wait'. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine what it would be like to hold the little boy and girl for the first time. A small smile spread across his face. Opening his eyes again, he focused back on the letter, anxious to see what else his wife had to say.
They are absolutely incredible, Ben. Every time I see those two sweet little faces, I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. The only thing that could make me happier would be if you could be here. Of course I know that you want nothing more than that too…
"Took the words right out of my mouth…"
"What's that?" BJ asked, looking over at his friend.
Hawkeye read what Margaret had written to him. "I couldn't have put it better myself. I hate to think that she can't be perfectly happy right now…I mean she just had two of the most beautiful babies and because I can't be there with her, she has to be worried about me at the same time as being worried about Alicia and Michael…It's not fair for her, she needs to be completely happy right now." He scratched his head, "Did you get that?"
His friend nodded, "Yeah, I got that. It's kind of the same for me and Peg. There's so many things that she should be enjoying with Erin but because I'm over here in this stupid war, she has to work and leave Erin with my mother every day…" BJ was trying to control his temper, but couldn't really hide his anger. He knew exactly what his friend meant, even if he didn't know exactly how he felt. He couldn't imagine not meeting his little girl right after she was born, and couldn't imagine how his friend was going to manage not meeting both of his babies for awhile.
Looking back at the bunch of paper once more, Hawkeye went back to reading.
I was so scared when it finally dawned on me that I was in labor. I had been having dull back pains since the day we headed down here, but at the party they were getting pretty bad. Finally, I had to go sit down while your father and Mildred were dancing and when he and Peg followed me over, I told them how my back was hurting every once in a while and how it would just go away in a few minutes. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I started balling when realization set in. Daniel just let me hold his hand until the pain went away and then whisked me off to the hospital.
We got a cab to take us to the Bellevue Hospital, the closest one to the Pierre Hotel and that ride is pretty much a blur to me. I was curling up as best I could, trying to get my back to stop hurting so much. Just in that bit of time though, the pain wrapped around to the front and I just felt horrible. Daniel was doing his best to comfort me though and I hope I didn't crush his hand too much…
Yet another sigh came from the reader of what could be the most important letter in his and his wife's marriage. Hawkeye couldn't help but feel a huge pang of jealousy for his father since he was able to be with Margaret when she was in so much pain. He would have been there in a second…if only he could have. 'Stupid goddamned war…police action, whatever the hell you wanna call it…' he thought, grabbing a martini and taking a swig.
When we finally made it to Bellevue after all of the stop and go traffic, they rushed me up to the maternity ward. I remember writhing in the bed, just hurting like hell while Doctor Ortell was asking me about wanting any meds to slow down the progression. When the latest wave of pain wore down and my body finally relaxed a little, I agreed to it, hoping that the baby would wait awhile longer. After about an hour, the contractions stopped and I was able to get some rest. Then your dad came in and I just broke down crying.
I just felt like I had failed at being a mother already and I just couldn't keep it bottled up anymore. I started crying and couldn't stop. It was a combination of stress and sorrow. I was so worried about having the baby so early and kept thinking about something that happened in my past (more on that later). Then I was just so upset that you couldn't be there with me. So, in other words, a bunch of different emotions came out at once for a woman that was already very hormonal. Your father was very supportive though. I was just so glad that I wouldn't have to go through all of what was about to happen alone.
His heart tightened thinking that Margaret felt like she had failed as a mother because she had gone into premature labor. Of course, reading that…yet again, his father was there to comfort her made his heart squeeze a little more. He was grateful that Daniel made it so his wife didn't have to go through all of the pain by herself, but seeing as how he was there instead of the father of the baby, or babies…just made it all that more difficult and brought back that feeling of reluctant jealousy.
He listened to everything I said and even managed to make me laugh a couple times. He said that he should have known that the baby would come early, just by knowing how impatient its parents are! Of course, that was before we knew there were TWO impatient Pierces ready to join the world. After awhile, your dad fell asleep on the couch in my room at the hospital and the medications that I was given were making me drowsy and I fell asleep…but not for long.
Shaking his head, Hawkeye laughed at what his dad had said about knowing that the baby would be early. When he thought about it though, he could have seen it coming too.
As you know, being the great doctor you are, the tocolytic was only expected to work for up to three days. I was hoping that the baby would just decide to wait for awhile longer after those three days, but like your dad said, it was just too impatient. I woke up screaming, I was in so much pain. The meds I was on were never experimented with pain killers though, and neither Doctor Ortell, nor I wanted to risk it so I just held Daniel's hand, screamed, cried, and panted through the pain. I was so worn out by the time I set eyes on our beautiful daughter, but it was love at first sight. I was overwhelmed when the doctor laid her on my chest. She was squirming around a little and I could feel her little heartbeat, but she wasn't crying. I was crying my eyes out with joy and also a little loneliness with you not being there to witness what had just happened, but when she finally cried, I just giggled and was so happy. I kissed her sticky head and started crying yet again…
It was becoming way too difficult to read for the surgeon. His eyes were pooling over with tears, reading about how his little girl had come into the world and about his wife's emotions, feelings, and actions when it happened. He couldn't help but wonder how he would have felt if he were there to see his child being born himself. After wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve, Hawkeye rested his head in his hand. "Were you in the delivery room with Peg when Erin was born?"
"I was. I had to pull a LOT of strings, but I was…Peg broke two bones in my hand, too!" BJ chuckled, trying to fight back his emotions that came with thinking of that day…and then the homesickness that came with it as well.
Laughing a little at his friend's remark, the homesick doctor asked what he really wanted to know. "What was it like?"
The sandy-haired man sighed, something that was becoming a normal noise in the Swamp nowadays. "Wonderful. I mean, there was a lot of screaming and even I was in a lot of pain what with my had getting crushed by a woman that you would really not think of being that strong… But it was really amazing." BJ's eyes were becoming moist as he spoke, "I remember kissing Peg's sweaty forehead when she was on the verge of exhaustion and telling her it would all be okay. And then the next minute there's this little baby crying and we both have huge grins on our faces, waiting for the doctor to say if it's a boy or a girl…"
Hawkeye smiled, "That does sound nice…"
"It was," BJ nodded. "They don't call it a miracle for nothing."
There was awkward silence for a moment before the rather emotional new father turned his attention back to the letter.
I was exhausted and overjoyed and just wanted to rest. After Randy took our little girl to be cleaned and examined, I laid back and tried to relax. It was just getting harder and harder though and I was feeling a little WORSE than I had before I could start pushing only a little while before. Daniel was trying to figure out what was going on and I just couldn't calm down. He thought maybe it was just the placenta but my response wasn't exactly 'ladylike'. I told him it was like what I had just gone through, but I sort of added an extra word in there…I was in a LOT of pain! Then I started thinking about our last time in Seoul together. I told your dad and Ben, you should have seen the look on his face! It was priceless! Of course, I was still in agony and couldn't help but scream again. That's when Doctor Ortell came back over and had Nurse Josten take our daughter to get a better exam.
Daniel told Randy what I thought was going on and he checked. When he said I was right, I had about a hundred different thoughts go through my head at once. I was so happy, yet so worried because I had no idea how I'd get through it…AGAIN! I was pushing for what seemed like a lot longer before there was any sign of the second baby. Finally, when I felt something slip through, I was shocked because it didn't feel as big as our little girl's head. I knew it must have been a breach, but at that moment I was a little out of my senses. The rest was MUCH harder than it had been before, but in a 'short' time, our son was born.
When the doctor put him on my chest, I could just barely feel his heartbeat and was so afraid that he would be a still born. He started squirming a little, and I was thrilled, but he still wasn't crying. I was just so scared that it wouldn't go two for two, and something would go wrong with our little boy. I was just holding him and thinking, 'cry honey, you can do it'. Daniel was rubbing his back like he had with our daughter to get her to cry. Finally, when that wasn't working, Randy had him hurry and cut the cord. After what seemed like forever, he finally let out a cry. Right next to his sister's, I think that was the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
His stomach tightened again when he read that Margaret was so worried, thinking that their son might have been a still born. He hated the thought of not being there with her to comfort her in all that was going on. Again, he was grateful that his dad could be there for her, but he knew it wasn't the same thing for Margaret. The support she really needed couldn't be there. She had been crying because she was so happy, but also because she was so heartbroken that her husband couldn't see all that was going on.
Shortly after, our little boy was taken to be cleaned and examined. I was more exhausted than I've ever been, but I stayed awake long enough to feed our little girl. I was so amazed when she just knew exactly what to do. It was amazing… I wish you could have seen it. Holding that little life, and knowing there was another one close by that WE were responsible for creating, was just indescribable. It just gave me the most amazing feeling. (Are you counting how many times I've said 'amazing' yet?) But really, that's what it was.
Chuckling at his wife's comment about 'counting the amazing's', he went back to look at the pages and noticed all of the places where 'amazing' was written. He couldn't blame her though, if he would have been there and was writing a letter to BJ about it, there would probably be just as many, if not more 'amazing's'.
After being assured that both of our babies were going to be okay, my exhaustion just took over and I was out for quite some time. When I woke up, I was extremely sore, but I was able to get to the nursery - with the help of a wheel chair - and got to see our two beautiful babies again. They looked so fragile in the incubators and it made my heart leap up into my throat. I knew they would help them, but seeing them in those glass boxes made them look so helpless… It was like I could feel my heart break. I kept a smile on my face for them though. I was able to put my hands through the side of the boxes so I could touch them, and I talked to both of them for awhile and while I did, I told them what I would name them.
I really hope you like the names I picked for them. When your dad told me how much our daughter looks like your mother, I asked him what her name was and I just fell in love with what he said. Then I thought her middle name should come from her grandfather. Also, Alicia Danielle just seems to have a good sound to it, doesn't it? I've started calling her Allie and she always responds to it. Her eyes just get bigger and brighter and then I kiss her nose and she makes the cutest gurgling sound. She's just adorable with her big blue eyes, her daddy's nose, and her mommy's chin. The little fuzz on the top of her head is pitch black, just like yours. When she was born, she weighed three pounds, five ounces. She was so tiny, but now she almost weighs four pounds and two ounces!
"Margaret says Alicia has my nose…poor thing."
BJ just replied with a laugh, giving his best friend a teasing look, "That poor girl."
When I thought of our son, one name kept coming to my mind. I know I've never told you, but when I was six years old, my mom had a baby boy…the son my father always wanted. But that son of his was born three months early and died when he was only a few hours old. I was so thankful that our son was healthy, but I couldn't stop thinking about that little boy that would have been my baby brother. When I got older, I found out that his name would have been Michael, so I named our son after who would have been his uncle… I thought the name suited him somehow.
It somehow all made sense… He knew that Margaret had joined the Army to win her father's approval, and 'Howitzer' Al Houlihan wanted a son more than anything. Margaret was trying to take on that role of a son to make her father happy. Hawkeye wasn't a psychiatrist or anything, but he could see that maybe his wife had done all of the things that she didn't really want to do, like joining the Army, because of that little brother that didn't make it. Maybe she didn't like seeing her father upset about losing his son, but hated how he couldn't see past that and see how wonderful his daughters were. Perhaps the little boy that didn't make it was the reason for why Margaret was hurt all the time. Her being a part of the Army all her life made her move around all the time, but when she could have just gotten out of it, she kept going, trying to get her father to see how much he should be thankful for his daughters too. Michael really did seem suiting for their little boy…
Then, Benjamin fit him perfectly too for his middle name because of his 'piercing' blue eyes that are the same as yours and his sister's. He's got the cutest red fuzz on his head too! His mothers. (I know, big surprise, I'm not exactly a natural blonde). He was only three pounds, one ounce, but has already gained four ounces and is off the I.V. they had him on. Whenever I hold him, I kiss his tiny nose and call him my little 'Mikey Surprise'.
The concentrated look on Hawkeye's face turned to one of pure mirth. "Listen to this Beej, it's about Michael. 'He's got the cutest red fuzz on his head too! His mothers…I know, big surprise, I'm not exactly a natural blonde…!" He was laughing almost uncontrollably, thinking that he had been tricked for so long. He teased her about it a lot, but he really thought that Margaret was a natural blonde. "Can you imagine that! My son's a little red-head!"
BJ laughed, thinking of his former colleague having red hair. "I'd pay to see Margaret as a carrot top."
"I think I would too." The laughter died down and Hawkeye went back to reading what was left of the letter. He was trying to read slow, seeing as how he wanted to saver the words on the pages, but the letter was sadly coming to an end.
Yesterday when I was holding both of them, I just couldn't stop crying. My emotions were put on full force. Seeing the two sets of eyes looking up at me made me feel unlike I've ever felt before. I can't wait until you can hold them both and see their sweet little faces in real life. It won't be much longer, Honey. Just don't forget that we love you so much and are so looking forward to seeing you again. Well, Allie and Mikey will be able to hear you again and see you for the first time. They are going to adore you so much. It was love at first sight for me…and I know they'll think the same when they see you.
I love you so much. Be careful over there, okay? Good luck with the wounded and I think your dad's letter will have more about the party.
Always yours,
Margaret
PS: Enjoy the film we put together for you! I hope it helps to close the distance a bit…
The last little bit of the letter made Hawkeye feel like crying. He had tears running down his cheeks, pretty much uncontrollably. He turned away, trying not to let BJ see him blubbering like he was. It didn't work, however, and soon felt a hand squeezing his shoulder. "It'll be okay Hawk…you'll be home soon."
Hawkeye put his head in his hands, "It's just not fair Beej."
"No, it's not…I know." His hand was still on his best friend's shoulder, trying to comfort him. Being separated from his family as well, he knew how embarrassing it was to lose control of your emotions and start crying like a little kid, but he also knew how much his friend needed comforting. Hawkeye had done it for him numerous times. Now it was his time to return the favor.
MASH 4077th - June 10, 1953 - 11:00 P.M.
There had been a few wounded earlier, but O.R. had only lasted for about four hours. Now, the tired surgeons were back in the Swamp, really too depressed and tired to do anything else but drink and lay in their cots, reading their letters from the party…which were making them more depressed and homesick. Hawkeye had grabbed Margaret's old hat that thankfully still had some of the scent of her shampoo on it and held it close. Closing his eyes, he could almost see her in front of him…smiling at him with that beautiful smile of hers and those big, icy blue eyes.
BJ was on his cot, reading Peg's letter for the eighth time. Noticing his best friend looking at the pictures again, he put the letter down, "Planning your escape, Daddy?"
The man in question sighed, "I would love to…" Swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, if it could really be called that, he sat up and put the photos back in his pocket. "I'd give anything to hold my kids. Feel they're little hands wrap around my finger…see their eyes…have 'em fall asleep on my chest while I'm trying not to fall asleep myself."
"You'll see them soon, Hawk. I promise." The mustached surgeon could see the hurting look in the new father's eyes.
Hawkeye ran his hand through his hair, "What time is it?"
"'Bout a quarter after 11."
"In New York?"
"Hell if I know…" BJ racked his brain, trying to do the math in his head, "Uh…quarter after 10 A.M. maybe?"
"Thanks." He'd thought about just calling early, Margaret would definitely be up by now, but after a few minutes of thinking with his face in his hands, he decided to just wait until it was noon there like she was expecting. She would more than likely be with the babies and he didn't want to disturb whatever kind of schedule she might be used to or trying to get the babies used to, if she had one. Knowing his wife though, she probably did.
Shaking his head, he looked at his best friend, "Can you believe that I have two kids…?" His voice was distant, depicting the disbelieving, yet overjoyed feelings he had.
BJ chuckled, "Well, if somebody would have told me when I first got here that you and Major Houlihan would have kids together before the war was over…or ever for that matter, I'd never have believed it. Now…it's just the two part that gets me."
Laughing, Hawkeye nodded, "Oh yeah…me too." He was looking very thoughtful again, "Did I ever tell you how I heard the heartbeats in Seoul?"
"You did?" The other doctor moved on his bunk so he was face to face with his best friend, genuinely interested.
The new dad couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips, "When we were in Seoul the last time we were laying in bed and I thought I'd give it a try. At first I was just teasing Margaret about being able to hear two heartbeats, but the more I listened…" Getting up, he started pacing around the narrow path in the Swamp, "Of course I was doubting myself because she said it was just an echo." Plopping back down on the narrow cot he sighed, "How am I supposed to make it through all this, Beej? I just wanna feel like a father."
BJ understood what he was getting at and what he meant, but he just had to ask, "You don't feel like a father?"
"I do, but I don't." Hawkeye's voice became husky with emotion as he took the snapshots out of his pocket again, "I mean…I look at these pictures and I'm amazed at how these tiny babies have so many of Margaret's and my features…but I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling right now. I feel different, but I don't know if this is what it feels like."
Putting down his letter on the same table as the still, the 'situational psychiatrist' thought about what he should say, "Butterflies in your stomach?"
"More like vultures."
"Keep thinking about different things you're gonna do in the future with Alicia and Michael? Like playing catch, teaching them how to ride a bike, picnics at the beach, chasing off the odd teenaged boy from your daughter, giving your son advice on how to win a girl over in the cafeteria…?"
The restless doctor got up once more and poured himself and his bunkmate another drink from the 'elixir of life'. "Those thoughts have crossed my mind a few times…" He laughed, more half-heartedly, while he said it even though a lump was forming in his throat.
"And when you imagine the twinkle in Margaret's eyes when you think about holding her close as you two watch the kids play in the backyard, your heart starts beating faster and faster, right?"
Taking a direly needed swig of the homemade gin, Hawkeye nodded, not really able to say anything again.
"Well…" BJ took a drink of his own 'rat poison', "as far as I know, that's what it feels like to be a dad." Shrugging with a sad smile on his face, he added, "Of course I haven't seen my little girl since she wore booties that could fit in a shot class…now she's almost two."
"At least you were there when she was born…you've been introduced. I missed out on being there when Margaret was going through all of the changes that she went through…I missed out being able to maybe feel the baby, or I guess babies kick. I missed out on holding her hand when she was in all that pain that I pretty much put her through. And most of all I missed out on my kids being born and the first days of their lives…and who knows when I'll actually get to meet them!"
BJ just sat in silence, not really blaming his friend for what he had said. He watched the man across the tent hang his head in what looked like shame. "Beej, I'm sorry…I'm sorry. I know you've missed out on just as much. I had no right to say that." Looking back up to him, the more experienced father could see that Hawkeye's eyes were bloodshot, mostly from unshed tears. He looked older, as if he had aged just in those three or four minutes.
"No Hawk, you have the right to say what you did. You're right…I've missed out on a lot of Erin's life but I have been introduced." He didn't really know what to say to make his best friend understand that he wasn't mad about what he had said.
"I just get so frustrated you know?" Hawkeye said as he stood and began pacing the tent a bit once more.
"I know, and I understand that," BJ answered watching his friend sadly, "Listen, why don't you go call Margaret early…who knows, she might be waiting for you to call. She probably doesn't think you'll actually wait until it's noon there," he smiled knowingly.
Hawkeye stopped and stared blankly ahead then spoke, "Yeah sure, why not…I'm just gonna drive myself crazy if I try to wait for another hour and a half." With that, he turned to the door and walked toward the office.
"HQ Seoul, this is Sergeant Pryor." Again his voice was muffled, his mouth full of whatever goodies he could find.
"Sparky, it's Captain Pierce over here at the 4077th again. Can you put through the same call you did a few hours ago? It's important." Radar was no where to be seen, so Hawkeye plopped down at the desk and went for it.
Sparky sighed heavily. He didn't usually let people tie up the lines for too long, and for more than once a day unless they were high brass, but it sounded pretty important. "Where was it again?"
"Bellevue Hospital, New York City…Maternity. And I wanna talk to Margaret Pierce." He was tapping his fingers on the desk, impatiently. His heart ached, he wanted to be with her, not just talk. And he wouldn't even be able to talk for long, just a few minutes. He had so many questions and things he wanted to say that would never fit into a three or four minute phone call.
After waiting for a few minutes, Hawkeye opened his shirt pocket once more and took out the picture of Margaret holding their beautiful babies. He could feel a couple hot tears run down his cheek. Reaching up, he dabbed them away with the back of his hand, put the picture back in his pocket and reached into his other one, grabbing Margaret's letter. Figuring he had enough time before the call was put through to read it once more, he unfolded the paper and read the now familiar words.
It didn't take him long to read the letter. He had read it about 20 times that day and was thinking about it constantly in the O.R. Whenever he read it, his heart seemed to break a little more. When he first read it he had ended up blubbering like a baby, but when he thought of blubbering like a 'baby', his heart seemed to twist even more.
Though it hadn't taken him long to read the letter this time, it had still taken at least five minutes. He concentrated a little more on the phone and listened for sign of anyone on the other end. "Sparky, you able to put a call through?" Hawkeye asked, not really expecting a reply. And, of course, there wasn't one. Putting the letter back in his pocket, he pulled out the two pictures of his kids again. He just couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when he looked at the black and white photos.
He couldn't believe that his son was a redhead. He never would have guessed it from the pictures and he had been pretty fooled by Margaret, thinking that she really had natural blonde hair. A lot of the kids he grew up with had blonde hair that got darker as they got older…of course it didn't usually get lighter after it got darker, but maybe him not noticing that - was a guy thing. He shook his head and laughed a bit at the thought. Turning the picture over he read the words out loud, "'Michael Benjamin Pierce…three pounds, one ounce…May 28th, 1953...' The day I became a dad." Looking at the picture of his little daughter, he smiled yet again, "Alicia Danielle. The perfect name Margaret…"
Finally, the other line started ringing and soon there was a female voice that answered the phone. "Bellevue General - Maternity Ward."
Sitting up a little straighter, Hawkeye's voice sounded excited, "Yeah, I'd like to talk to Margaret Pierce. I know this is a little earlier than what she expected, but I couldn't wait anymore…"
The small voice on the other end giggled a little, "No problem Doctor Pierce, she's been waiting for your call since I told her you called earlier. Hold on a minute, I'll transfer this closer to her room."
"Thanks." He tapped his fingers on the desk, a little impatiently. After having been waiting forever to talk to his wife, the extra few minutes were going to kill him.
"Ben!?" Margaret picked up the phone in the nurses station outside her room.
"Hey! Margaret! Oh my God, it's good to hear you…" Hawkeye felt a little breathless all of a sudden, but then again he always got a little breathless when he talked to the love of his life.
It was obvious in her voice that the new mom was choking back tears of joy, "It's great to hear you too Ben. How ya doin' Honey?"
"I couldn't be better unless I was there with you…I still don't believe we have two babies." Once again, his voice broke with emotion.
There was a small sniffle, "I can't either…I'm the one that gave birth to them both, and I still don't believe it. You were right. I should have known, you're 'always' right." She was able to laugh through her happy, yet still sort of sad, tears.
Hawkeye laughed, his own vision becoming foggier with tears prickling his eyelids. "You know at first I was just teasing you… But, there's so many things I wanna talk about."
"Well, talk away!" The woman's voice sounded more chipper now.
He thought for a moment, wondering what he wanted to ask first, "Well…how are they doing? How are you doing?"
"Well, I'm just fine! Very happy…yet…pretty sad since you can't be here-…a little sore still." She trailed off and tried to change the subject quickly, "Allie weighs about four pounds, three ounces now and is really active… Oh Honey, I wish you could see her squirming around like she does, she's so adorable! And just loves to be cuddled."
"That's great!" The proud father was relived about his daughter's health, "What about Mikey?"
"Oh he's doing really great too. He's almost at three and half pounds. Pretty active, just like his sister. He's always grabbing for my nose when I hold him And he really likes to be cuddled too. I can't believe how much those two have changed just since they were born though. They're so healthy now, too."
Weight seemed to be lifted off of Hawkeye's shoulders, just knowing that both of their babies were healthy and sounded happy. "No colic or anything?"Nope," an involuntary squeal of delight raced down the wire to a very wide-smiling doctor, "like I said, they're very healthy. I mean…other than sometimes to be fed or to have a diaper changed, they barely even cry. They're very, very good babies…even if they are Pierces." The same wide-smiling doctor could clearly see the wink he knew his wife had wanted to send him with the statement.
Laughing, he 'overlooked' the comment (knowing that a laugh would be enough of a reply to it) and asked, "When does the doctor think you'll all be able to go back to Maine?"
"Well, he said he wants to give it one more week, just to be sure everything's okay. Oh, I can't wait to get back home…I really miss Crabapple Cove. I've been cooped up in this hospital for a long time." The woman on the other end seemed to trail off for a moment, but soon spoke up again, "Of course, that's kind of my fault. Doctor Ortell said I could be checked out and just stay at the hotel and visit whenever I wanted, but I told him I wanted to stay close. I can't imagine being too far away from our babies…"
"Understandable, Sweetheart." Hawkeye smiled, wishing he could wrap his arms around his wife and kiss her neck, just to let her know that he was behind her a hundred percent. "I love the names you chose for them, by the way…and I can't believe my son is a redhead! You know you really had me fooled."
"Oh…well…I'm glad you like them. I was kind of worried about naming them without seeing what you thought." It sounded like she had really been worried about what he would think. Then she the next part of his statement seemed to catch her attention, "You really thought I was a natural blonde?"
"Well…yeah." He replied, kind of coyly. "Like I was thinking earlier, I just kinda thought it was a natural thing that your hair got darker. I grew up with a lot of kids who were blonde that started getting darker roots as they got older."
"And then they got lighter again?" Margaret was laughing, "Oh Honey, you're such a man…"
A feigned offended tone entered his voice, "You say that like it's a bad thing."
Still laughing, the former head nurse could almost see the smile on her husband's face, "Yeah well…it looks so cute on Mikey. It's like mine was…auburn, not orange."
"BJ and I both agreed that we'd love to see you as carrot top," Hawkeye was thinking about how cute his son must look with his red hair, but couldn't help but laugh about his wife with the same red hair. Sure, she'd look great, but it would be really different.
"Now that is exactly why I started bleaching my hair at sixteen…I HATED being called carrot-top all the time. I mean it doesn't even make sense to me! Carrot-tops are green." She may have replied with a short tone, but she wasn't mad at her husband or his best friend by any means. She knew they didn't understand what it was like getting so much ridicule just for the color of her hair…
"I'm sorry Honey, I see exactly what you mean though." He knew she wasn't mad at him, but wanted to change the subject. "Michael's really the perfect name for our son…I never knew you had a little brother."
"Well I barely did…he was only a few hours old when he…you know." Her voice grew husky, "I never even saw him other than those few seconds when I snuck a peak through my parent's bedroom door."
Wanting to keep the conversation somewhat happy, Hawkeye decided to try to steer his wife's thoughts to something much more enjoyable. "Well I'm sure Michael's uncle would love his little nephew. And his niece, of course! I gotta say Margaret…I'm touched that you named our little girl after my mom."
"It only seemed fitting. Daniel showed me the picture of your mom that he keeps in his wallet and he's right. Allie really does look just like her grandmother. She has your nose too! It's so adorable…"
"Poor kid," he laughed, but another lump formed in the new father's throat, "I can't wait to meet her…" he had to choke back tears, "and our son…"
"I keep telling them how wonderful their daddy is…I think they're really looking forward to meeting you too." The chief surgeon could easily tell that Margaret was trying to keep her tears back like he was.
A few minutes had already passed. "Sweetheart, I don't know how much longer this line will be available…I just wanna tell you…I love you so much. So…so very much. I'd give anything to be with you right now. I…I just want to take you in my arms and kiss you and hug you and try to tell you how sorry I am for not being able to be there with you when you needed me most, going through all of that pain that I pretty much put you in. I love you so much…and I want you to know that. You do know that don't you?" His voice was even huskier than it was earlier.
The woman on the other end was crying now…a mixture of joyous tears and sorrow. "Ben I love you too… and I know you love me, don't worry. And I know you would have been here if you could." There was a small sniffle, "I love you more than you could ever imagine…"
It was silent for a moment while Hawkeye tried to collect himself. Soon, he broke the silence, "Honey…They're gonna cut us off soon. Tell Allie and Mikey I love them very, very much. And tell dad thanks for me."
"I will…I will. Thanks for what though?"
"For being there for you when I couldn't. I'm very grateful for him for that."
Margaret nodded, "Okay. I'll tell him that…I love you, Ben. I can't say it enough."
"I love you too Magpie…" And with that, the line went dead. Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, he put the phone back in the bag and tried to fully collect himself before going back out into the compound, sort of a lost cause anymore. He pulled out the snapshots of his family and looked at them, longing to be with his beautiful wife, his two beautiful babies, and of course his father. He was still rather jealous of his father for being able to witness all that he wasn't able too, but like he told Margaret, he was grateful for him.
Easing himself up from the chair, his body stiff from the four hours of O.R., he walked slowly out the door of the office and back toward the Swamp. The still would probably be used tonight…
FINALLY! Another chapter done! Sorry that took so long but please, tell me what you thought! I'd like to thank Lissy for all of her help in the whole chapter (she gives GREAT opinions- THANKS!) and for all of her help, telling me how red-heads think of being called 'Carrot Top'. Hehe, thanks a bunch girly! :-D VERY much appreciated!
As for the next update, I'll get it up when I can. Again, sorry this one took so long, but hopefully the next one won't! And thanks to all of those who reviewed too!
THANKS FOR READING! Okay, NOW you can review! ;-)